[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / bant / biz / c / can / cgl / ck / cm / co / cock / d / diy / e / fa / fap / fit / fitlit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mlpol / mo / mtv / mu / n / news / o / out / outsoc / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / spa / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vint / vip / vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y ] [Search | Extra juicy! | Home]

Come up with the worst superpower. Make me proud, /co/.

This is a blue board which means that it's for everybody (Safe For Work content only). If you see any adult content, please report it.

Thread replies: 316
Thread images: 14

File: ANTS.png (194KB, 573x413px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
ANTS.png
194KB, 573x413px
Come up with the worst superpower.
Make me proud, /co/.
>>
>>77694045

The power to turn red lights green.
>>
>>77694045
The power to shoot flaming apples out of your mouth.
>>
>>77694045
The power to make you proud
>>
>>77694094
green lights red
>>
nipples that extend to give you radio signals straight to your mind.
>>
>>77694045

If you lose one of your fingers you grow two identical fingers for the stub
>>
>>77694045
Can only lift objects within arms length. Both arms need to be free for this to work. The weight of the object to be lifted needs to be something you could reasonably lift by yourself.
>>
The power to exclusively make shitty threads on anonymous imageboards.
>>
>>77694045
the power to be happy no matter what situation you find yourself in
>>
The power to know how many licks it would take to get to the center of a tootsie pop
>>
The power to become 100 years old in 0,7 seconds
>>
Being able to talk to Toasters.
They only care about bread and heat.
>>
The power to make a perfect shit every time with no pain.
>>
>>77694142
Could be pretty cool as long as you're okay with cutting off your hand.

>>77694145
But y'know, it has to be an actual superpower.

>>77694188
I'd love this power.
>>
the power of moot
>>
The ability to blow up your head by thought
>>
>>77694216
But why?
It serves no purpose and makes a room smell bad.
>>
The power to give yourself a heart attack with only a thought
>>
>>77694218
Shittiest power ITT
>>
>>77694045
The Power to make water boil .01 seconds faster than normal
>>
>>77694045
The power of impotence.
>>
>>77694045
The ability to grow weed for hair
>>
>>77694094
>implying you can't cause a shit ton of damage with that
You could potentially shut down an entire city if you had enough capacity to use that one power on streetlights
>>
>>77694233
Painless shits are a privilege, not a right.
>>
>>77694137
>>77694094
>Not using these abilities to help rob banks and get away

>>77694111
Apples are hard and now they're
You could fuck someone up with that shit

>>77694169
I'd take it
Depression sucks a bag of dicks

>>77694170
http://lmgtfy.com/?q=how+many+licks+to+the+center+of+a+tootsie+pop
Am i super now?

>>77694188
I'd take it

>>77694300
You could make some money with this one
>>
You can fly but only on Tuesdays and if you let someone shit in your mouth
>>
>>77694260
Nice try, but you still aren't a superhero.
>>
The ability to actually execute one of DeviantArt's impossible fetishes without mutilating yourself.
>>
The power of prediction, with the condition that it's always a vision about other people's future and if you comunnicate it, it won't happen.
>>
File: 1447569682151.png (88KB, 500x500px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1447569682151.png
88KB, 500x500px
>>77694045
The power to travel forward in time at the rate of 1 second per second.
>>
The ability to forget things at will.
It only works for happy memories.
>>
>>77694045
The ability to copy the powers of a real superhero.
>>
>>77694377
>python jaw
>growing/shrinking
>stink bombs
>countless other weird shit

that's not even a bad power

>>77694416
i have this one
>>
The power to make yourself not exist imo.
It's not reversible imo.
>>
>>77694165

I must use my power only for evil.
>>
>>77694381
So you can choose whether or not to prevent the thing you saw happening? You could save lives like that. And you don't even need to communicate it to that person.
>>
>>77694045
The power to freeze time
including yourself
>>
The power to remember every continuity mistake ever made in television
>>
The power to perfectly recreate the voice of any actor from Remember the Titans, but only if you're reciting their lines exactly as they said them in the film.
>>
>>77694382
Resist the effects of Relativistic Intergalactic Travel.
>>
You can deflect any projectile that comes towards you but you will always get punched in the face

sorry I really can't think of anything right now
>>
The power to control dinosaurs.
>>
>>77694045
The power to make everything awkwardly homoerotic.Even a gay orgy.
The power to eject half your poop from your mouth.You can decide which half.
The power to feel a sharp pain any time any word in any langage is misspelled.Can be activated at will.
>>
>>77694508
/co/ and /tv/ already have this superpower.
>>
Enhanced mortality.
>>
>>77694608
And look where it's gotten us
>>
the ability to go on /tv/ and /r9k/ than catch cancer and die IMO
>>
>>77694045
The power to see 9gag comments in your dreams.
>>
>>77694045
The power to control insects

:^)
>>
The power to be 20% strtonger of any living target inclusive of any weaponry it may be using.It's automatic.
You can beat an elephant, but will collapse under your weight and die if you try holding a baby or picking up a flower.
>>
>>77694547
>trading a bullet to the brain for a punch in the face
cool

>>77694581
>oil/bird manipulation
fuck yeah
>>
The power to make the best tasting food but you must use uncooked maruchan ramen in every dish
>>
>>77694045
The ability to smell shit anywhere in the world.
>>
The power to change the captcha by one digit
>>
>>77694665
The power to shit yourself so hard you get sucked into the poop imo.
>>
The power to predict anything that will happen in the future but it puts you into a coma until the event happens
>>
The power to be Anthony Burch
>>
One time transformation into a tree.
Not the worst, but I had this kid try and tell me it was worse than not having any powers.
Sweating acid?
Spongey bones?
Tastebuds in ass?
>>
>>77694045
Having a bald, incredibly smooth head with scalp sweat that works as a deodorant.
>>
The power to remove staples from documents telepathically
>>
>>77694045
A night vision dick
>>
The power to view anything negative and figure out what could have been done to prevent it but only after it already happened.
>>
THE POWER TO BE A NORMIE AND NOT HAVE ANY POWERS LMFAO IMO.
>>
>>77694045
the power to be normal
>>
Being able to taste anything within 10 meters without physical contact, while being unable to ignore any taste within that radius.
>>
The power to transform into Steve Buscemi
>>
The power for your dick to emit a screeching sound and light up in neon lights whenever you get a hard on and it only works in public
>>
>>77694045
Okay, I've come up with the worst one, you ready?
You can become Chris Chan at will, and you can't change back
>>
The inability to shit.

This doesn't mean the shit doesn't build up inside you.
>>
The power of erupting enough spaghetti to flood a town from your trouser pockets whenever you get judged in public
>>
Invulnerability without resilience.

You jump off a building, you come out unscathed, but you still feel the pain of jumping off a building and landing on your face, except you never get the endorphin push to endure the pain because you didn't ACTUALLY get hurt.
>>
The power to feel things they haven't standardized an emoji yet for
>>
>>77694801
That's a great power. I'll predict the greatest video game ever made and sleep until it's finished.
>>
Being an amazing composer. For old Nokia ringtones.
>>
>>77695213
imo What about the power to change others into chris chan accidentally after touching them. It's uncurable.
>>
>>77695348
You know anon didn't say it was one of those magical fairy tale comas where you're virtually immortal, right? WW3 could still happen and vaporize the hospital you're in before the vidya is developed.
>>
desu it's mostly abilities related to things that don't matter anymore. Like being able to walk around with super resilient feet. We invented boots for that.

And your feet are probably some weird mutant feet that everybody thinks are scary because the powers come with a visual abnormality.
>>
The power to be invisible but only while peeing.
>>
>>77695387

It explicitly states that I am in a full coma until the game is developed.

So that means that it is one of those magical fairy tale comas.

It's a fucking superpower anyhow, of course it's magic or some shit.
>>
Being able to drink a gallon of McIlhenny Company Tabasco brand pepper sauce in under 2 minutes.
>>
>>77694442
Do you know what imo means? Also get the fuck back to reddit
>>
The ability to forgot after experiencing happiness.
>>
>>77694169
It's called alcohol.
>>
>>77695421
How long does it last? Could you do little piss squirts and have a few seconds of invisibility between squirts?
>>
>>77695366
What Chris do they become? Old Chris? Tomgirl Chris? Whatever Chris currently is?
>>
>>77694045
the power to die in the most painful way once your life starts getting better.
>>
A T. rex with time freeze
>>
>>77695785
Jojo pls go
>>
My friend came up with acid sweat once.
>>
The ability to pee multiple streams.

Your bladder size doesn't change.
>>
>>77694045
The power to always know what longitude coordinate you're at. But not latitude.
>>
Super Dense Bones
>>
The ability to walk up a vertical face to a limited height of seven feet, after which you'll just fall off.
>>
>>77694490
That actually sounds pretty useful, you could stop time, plan your actions and unfreeze and wreck shit.

I'd use it to think over what someone just said so I don't sound like a retard in my response.
>>
>>77696146
I dunno, I think your mind would probably freeze too
>>
>>77696173
Then how the fuck would you turn it off unless it wore off after a bit like Za Warudo
>>
>>77694045
GLOW IN THE DARK ERECTION
>>
The ability to travel back in time at the speed of regular time
>>
>>77696146
Your mind would be frozen too, senpai-ily.
>>
File: 1401060093495.jpg (46KB, 625x579px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1401060093495.jpg
46KB, 625x579px
>>77694831
>>
Instead of jizz you cum tiny helium filled balloons
>>
>>77696199
You wouldn't.

That's why it's shit m8
>>
>>77696269
What do you think it takes to be a clown, smart-ass.
Clown College? Fuck no.
>>
>>77696269
That's not useless. I could bang a clown girl using that.
>>
>>77694924
that's a great power t.b.h famy.
For instance, many european nations would love to know how to prevent another terrorist attak like the one in paris
>>
>>77695440
then it's better to predict something that happens after humanity has become able to reverse aging and turn people into superior cyborgs.
>>
The ability to burp at 261.626 Hz
>>
>>77694045
the power to die whenever and where ever you want by what ever method you choose.
once you are dead, you are dead.

it has amazing power potential but a one time limit that makes what ever you use it on pointless.

>> i died at 83 in my sleep having sex with a harem of females that fit every fetish I have, while never losing my erection and impregnating each one.
>> I died killing the ultimate evil
>> i died killing death.
>>
>>77696300
>Banging a clown girl
>Not taking it in the ass from one
>>
Poison immunity.

But only to a single species of poisonous mushroom that is now extinct.
>>
>>77694490
>>77696173
how do you know you don't have it already and are using it unconsciously?
>>77696213
wait for jackpot lottery winning numbers. travel back to the last moment you could bet. Enjoy easy living.
>>
>>77696460
It would take 30 seconds to go back 30 seconds, you'd end up right where you left
>>
>>77694045
The ability to age faster than normal.
>>
>>77696496
that wouldn't be traveling back, that would be staying in place.
What anon meant was that if you want to go back one day it will take you one day. A week back will take you a week.
>>
>>77694045
The power of tripping on a female genitals and breast.
Nigga, I didn't say human females only
>>
>>77696496
thats not how it was worded
the ability to go back in time at the speed of time,
sounds like you live out 5 minutes of time while watching time reverse around you for 5 minutes
>>
You can turn everyone else invisible
>>
the power to shrink down 2 inches from your original height. permanently
>>
>>77696401
>> i die at the heat death of the universe
i not only ensured that the universe would die by a heat death, but essentially gave myself immortality and know nothing can kill me before said event, i am impervious to death till then.
>>
the power to make yourself blind, only once, non-reversible
you already have that power
>>
the power to slowly turn into shit.
you cant turn back and the process takes days
>>
>>77696726
you suffer from Alzheimer at some point
>>
>>77696884
we already have that power
kill yourself and get eaten by dogs or something.
>>
the power to say the exact thing to a person that will send them into a homicidal rage, you do not have the ability to control said power or direct it, you just say it at the exact time needed for it to happen.
>>
>>77696991
Nigga that's useful as fuck
>>
>>77694045
The power to see through wood. Only wood.
>>
>>77694139
David Bowie pls
>>
>>77694696
Males no sense
>>
>>77694045
You can stop time for exactly one hour, however often you want.

When time is stopped, no one, including you, can move or experience anything or record memories. You're not even sure you have any powers.

Eventually you find someone else with the power to transcend time, but not manipulate it. Then you can be an awesome team, even though you individually have useless powers.
>>
>>77697070
really
>> "i slept with your wife last night" it's not true, it's some random guy you are walking past down an empty street.
>>"i know you killed that child in a hit and run accident after you were drinking" guy tries to kill you to keep it a secret.

sometimes you might say something that makes him kill someone else.
but the sheer amount of shit you have to go through.
>>
The ability read minds, but only while you're humping a beehive.
>>
>>77697149
It's perfect if you need a distraction or something similar, all you need to do is master the ability to get out of the way of the mayhem. Even then if you get crafty you can redirect that rage for your own purposes.
>>
you have the ability to turn into bear grylls
you have to drink someone elses urine for the transformation to take place
>>
>>77695560
Wait, think about it.

It's not reversible ~in his opinion~. If you simply vanished after making yourself not exist, then it would be irreversible ~in fact~. So you can will yourself back into existence, but from a philosophical point of view it ~might~ not be the same person who comes back, but rather an identical copy.

Thus, it's a matter of opinion whether you can come back into existence or not.

And if you literally didn't exist, then there would be no "you" to activate the reversal; your consciousness still exists in some sense, so it's a matter of opinion whether you're really removing yourself from existence or not.

In short, it's basically a "perfect hiding" power, which could actually be pretty useful if you were clever with it.
>>
>>77697224
>> you do not have the ability to control said power or direct it
>>
>>77697091
Keep an open mind my man!
You just keep proving that we're not ready.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tRcPA7Fzebw
>>
>>77697231
if you dont exist
how does your will to exist, exist
>>
The ability to breathe underwater while holding your breath.
>>
>>77697266
Ask Alucard.
>>
>>77694045
The ability to give scouter ants OCD
>>
>>77695560
>Rationalizing the dank memes
You need jesus bub imo.
>>
you have the ability of perfect vocal impersonations of other individuals as long as you have heard them speak at least once
only you hear the voices you are trying to mimic everyone else thinks you sound the exact same
>>
The ability to warp yourself to the edge of the troposphere, immediately in mid-fall at terminal velocity.
You can do this at any time and any place with no buffer time between utilization.
>>
>>77697245
That doesn't make sense. Do you not know what to say that would trigger their homicidal rage? Because if not then your examples don't make any sense, why would you even be saying something like "i know you killed that child in a hit and run accident after you were drinking?" to some random dude?
>>
>>77697333
Well, you could be your own portable music player.
>>
>>77697359
Not that Anon, but it's not that complicated.
You just decide (or it triggers randomly) to say "it" to a random person.
When you decide to do it, you don't know what "it" is, just that it's the one thing that will piss them off, but once you start talking, you can't stop until you said it.
>>
File: Okay....jpg (13KB, 204x220px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
Okay....jpg
13KB, 204x220px
>>77694045
Spermatokinesis - The ability to perfectly manipulate sperm. But you can only control it once it's outside the body.
>>
>>77697333
You have the ability to read another persons mind, but for each thought or memory you gain you'll lose one of your own.
>>
>>77697359
you just say it man, like tourettes. you have no clue when the power will activate, you have no control over what is said.
i didn't say the power was to KNOW what to say, you just say it.

it's a power, sort of like precognition, your compliant sounds like this "how do you know whats going to happen in the future if you have not lived it yet, hah checkmate"
>>
The power to get amazing dubs
>>
>>77697504
Just say it's like Tourette's in the first place, obviously you weren't clear as >>77697421 wasn't sure on that aspect either.
>>
the power to create this thread
>>
>>77697479
never have sex with a condom again
randomly make women pregnante that i don't like
>>" hey you know jessy from accounting"
>>"yeah"
>>"she is pregnant with her 9th kid"
>> "she can't support that many"

i would take this power
>>
The ability to have everyone hear your thoughts all the time
>>
>>77694045
The ability to be invisible, inaudible, intangible, and immobile to everyone and everything forever.
>>
>>77695253
>inability to shit
anismus is not a superpower
>>
The power to momentarily become Patrick Bateman any time you witness dubs or gets
>>
>>77697536
seemed pretty self explanatory from this line
>>you do not have the ability to control said power or direct it
but hey if it confused you, sorry
>>
>>77694045
the ability to take other peoples sickness and make it your own
>>
>>77697536
one of the examples that anon gave was basically an example of tourettes
>>
>>77697658
That's actually useful if you are a hero.
>>
>>77697479
That sounds fucking awesome to be honest

I could become like Gaara except carry around a giant jug of my old semen on my back. Or have telekinesis over a crusty cumrag.
>>
>>77694045
The ability to make shit taste delicious.
>>
>>77697727
omg i physically gagged at the image of that.
>>
File: are you normal.png (414KB, 353x519px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
are you normal.png
414KB, 353x519px
>>77697727
>>
>>77697727
What would your hero/villain name be?
Sperm-man
Sperm-master
Kum-Lord
Cum Master
Jizz Man
Jizzinator
Sploodge man
Cuminator
Cum man
Fuck boi
Impregnator <<< I like this one
>>
>>77697727
Now that I think about it how perfect do you actually mean by perfectly manipulate sperm? Could you concentrate enough sperm into one single point that it becomes so dense and creates a black hole? Although I imagine you'd need a lot of fucking cum for that, you'd have to recruit a HYDRA-like organization/cult of hundreds or thousands of men contributing their sperm until you have enough to create the end of the world via sperm black hole.
>>
File: whitescienceman.jpg (18KB, 363x364px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
whitescienceman.jpg
18KB, 363x364px
>>77694045
The power to fart silently but only when nobody else is around.
>>
>>77697881
not possible. there is not enough matter on earth itself to create a black hole or we would already BE a black hole. what makes you think we as a race could produce that much mass when our own body mass is dependent on the food we eat which is limited to the mass of this planet, you would need Solar systemS of people to do this feat. so many people the mind itself boggles with craps tons of re-hydrating fluids and protein for consumption.

also at what point would the sperm just stop being sperm, the moment it gains enough mass it will crush all the sperm into its base components and then become a molten star and so on untill it is a black hole, you'd have no control of it
>>
>>77697881
>Now that I think about it how perfect do you actually mean by perfectly manipulate sperm?

I meant the level of control Magneto has over metal.

>you'd have to recruit a HYDRA-like organization/cult of hundreds or thousands of men contributing their sperm until you have enough to create the end of the world via sperm black hole.

>>77697993
... Okay, maybe it's not such a bad power. I can't believe I've never seen something like this in a porn comic, though.
>>
Accurately predicting the outcome of gambles with no steaks
>>
>>77698017
I feel like I've seen a lot of spermbending in Avatar R34
>>
>>77698046
Pfft, all I have to do is make sure I gamble at a place that doesn't serve steak then ya dingus
>>
>>77694045

4th Wall Awareness for the real life
>>
>>77698017
If there's ever a comic with this power there needs to be a climactic final battle where the hero is on the ropes but has no sperm on hand so he has do a Spirit Bomb like move where he tries to gather what all sperm might have just been ejaculated or lying around on Earth into one giant Sperm Bomb to defeat the villain with

"EARTH! LEND ME YOUR SPERM"
>>
>>77694924
Too useful. It could be used to prevent catastrophes from repeating.
>>
>>77694045
I have the ability to transform into a midget of equal height, weight, and physical ability as myself.
>>
>>77697202
Bring an empty beehive to a poker championship.
>>
>>77694045
Being able to levitate 5cm off the ground.

Just thought of that Mitchell & Webb sketch with the Biscuit Telekinesis guy hoho.
>>
>>77698017
the entirety of the human race that has existed and still exists to this day, all the animals that ever existed that make sperm or currently exist could not produce enough sperm to make a black hole . we do not even have a number invented yet for the amount of creatures needed for this idea.

this is only a quick calculation with not the best data available
the average cum shot of a man is 2.7 grams
source (not the best i know but i have no clue where else to get that)
http://www.hipforums.com/forum/topic/368584-weight-of-cum/
depending on the theory you use for black hole creation the minimum mass needed to make said black hole varies, so lets jut go with the biggest google shat out 3.2 solar masses
source
https://www.google.com/?gws_rd=ssl#q=minimum%20mass%20for%20a%20black%20hole
there is 1.98892000114E+30 KILOgrams in only one solar mass
this is very roughly
2.36 x 10^33 ejaculations
>>
>>77694169
I envy ignorant people they escape the depression awareness gives you.
>>
The power to piss booze.
>>
>>77697202
Does the beehive have to have bees in it?
>>
>>77697202
DOCTOR BEES
>>
the ability to turn into wayne brady when you slap a bitch
>>
>>77697862
The Spectacular Spunk-Punk
>>
>>77694045
3. Self Induce Training Flashbacks
2. Sud Bubble Creation and Control
1. Invoke the Power of Male Privilege
>>
>>77698398
Doing god's work
>>
You can automatically open doors that are within a 5 foot distance of you
>>
>>77698455
>piss booze
>drink piss booze
>piss booze makes you have to piss more
>drink water so you don't dehydrate
>infinite booze

too easy family
>>
>>77698398
Man, why you gotta bring logic and math into this? Let me have my moment.
>>
The power to turn into an 87 year old Ukrainian woman with leprosy
>>
You have the superpower to come up with extremely awful superpowers, but the drawback is, every time you post it online, someone will find a legitimate use for it.
>>
File: 1439424572145.jpg (27KB, 476x494px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1439424572145.jpg
27KB, 476x494px
>>77694045
Eraser fingertips.
You peak'd back in school in your villainy. Now you moonlight in community colleges at your darkest moments. Other than that people give you a 2nd glance at your pinkish fingertips.
>>
>>77697993
that not how it works, is not the amount of mass but how densly compressed that mass is, theoretically you could make a black hole with a single person
>>
>>77698593
Locked doors.
>>
The ability to cure any ailment and disease, at the cost of a billion human lives per cure.
>>
>>77699225
I like this concept.
>>
>>77694045
Being noticed by everyone constantly. Everyone is always watching and listening to you
>>
>>77698135
So you basically achieve CHIM?
>>
The power to conjure skub
>>
>>77699356
But that's a god-tier ability you silly bear.
>>
>>77699404
MODS
>>
How about...

You secrete a super-strong glue at all times.

Alternately, you secrete an oil that makes you super slippery.

I like to think of this as the best terrible hero/villain combo, with the sticky hero being the only person capable of catching the slippery villain.
>>
The ability to transform into your perfect soulmate.
But you can only stay in that state while you're "Not there", once you transform back they're gone.
>>
Teleport, but only to the next room.
Let's call the hero Doorman.
>>
>>77699509
>you secrete an oil that makes you super slippery
But I already do that.
>>
>>77694045
burp while staring at them and they are forced to smell your burp until you break contact or blink
>>
>>77694314
eat more fiber for fuck's sake.
>>
Random Resurrection
You have the power to bring anyone back to life, but you don't know who it'll be. It's a gamble each time.
>>
>>77694045
The power to eject uncooked spaghetti noodles from your dickhole. You can only do this 3 times a week, and the amount of noodles that is ejected varies.
>>
>>77698866
>> thats not how it works
yes it is
the mass of the object needed for the gravity to compress itself into a black hole. how else do you propose making a black hole. this is the only reported and indirectly observed phenomenon that can make a black hole.
>>
>>77700113
I would so watch a show/read a comic of a show about a guy with this power.
>>
>>77694045
The power to read other people's minds but their thoughts are just incomprehensible screams.
>>
>>77696074
We just have to go east, EAST DAMN YOU!
>>
the ability to shoot a single ant out of your penis

you can only do it once a day and it takes almost 6 hours of pushing it out first
>>
The power to make it sound like a fart each and every time you sit down on a leather or vinyl couch.
>>
>>77699321
That's literally the most desired power that a female could ever possibly wish for.
>>
the power to digest any food, moldy or rotten
>>
The power to estimate the amount of change that a person is carrying in their pocket up to a $0.15 margin of error.
>>
>>77697881
>work at a mexican donkey show
>become GOD
>>
The ability to turn Powerade into Gatorade.
>>
the ability to know exactly what direction your deepest desire is located in
but do you know what your deepest desire is?
if you have multiple ones you would have no clue which is which.

useful little power, confusing to use, could get you into trouble with extended use. probably should be used sparingly.

>> you are a closeted homosexual and it keeps pointing you at your best friends ass. you have no clue why

other such things could become more problematic.
>>
Super acidic urine, but there's nothing special about your urethra.
>>
you can glow in the dark.
it is in the non visible ultraviolet range.

>>you can always know when they cleaned the sheets at a motel.
>>
>>77694045

You emit a loud constant beeping noise whenever you're within 400ft of someone who has ever been to or posted on 4chan. You don't trigger the beep on yourself.
>>
>>77700503
what about my kidneys
>>
>>77696401

>the power to die whenever and where ever you want by what ever method you choose.

I want to die happily at the heat death of the universe. Basically what >>77696726 says, but I don't suffer from anything that would make me unhappy.
>>
>>77698652

>drink piss booze
>drink booze made of piss booze
>after 100 times your piss is the purest form of booze imaginable, drunk a hundred times over to ensure clarity
>>
>>77697479
Can you control it once it fuses with the egg? What about once it's born? Do you have psychic powers over any children you conceive?
>>
The power of absolute average.

You are incapable of excelling at anything you try. You cannot learn any skill beyond a certain point. You cannot experience extreme joy, or sorrow, or do anything which makes you stand out for a moment and justifies your existence on the planet. You cannot even fail spectacularly, which would possibly make you noticed as an object of ridicule or humor. Everything about you is an exact, absolute average.
>>
>Tripfag-Chan

He has the ability to let people know who he is on an anonymous image board
>>
whenever a super villain or monster is defeated by someone else, you just happen to be there. the hero being busy often rushes off before anyone notices what happens and everyone mistakes you for the guy that won the day. this happens regularly and no matter how much you deny it no one believes you didn't do it. the superheros who's wins are now accredited to you don't seem to pick up on it, don't care, or in general don't know. through the retelling and bullshit of made up stories that never happened and are spread through the grapevine you acquire legendary status as one of the most powerful hero's in the world.

you now have to bluff your way through regular villain encounters, team ups, and various other hero duties.
>>
I don't think a lot of these even count as superpowers. They are just strange ailments or conditions.
>>
>the Checker

Has the ability to Check em
>>
>>77694045

eh, i prefer an idea where you need to do something that makes your superpower useless

like invisiblity -> only when you're clapping
super speed ->only when you're not touching ground

etc.
>>
>>77694434
>Stink bombs

that's the only one new to me. Is it some kind of weird branch of scat fetishists or what?
>>
>>77700744
thats kind of the point
just laugh and move on
i remember one thread of this a guy came up with a power to transport anyone to gallop new mexico and someone wrote a narrative that was downright hilarious for a guy with that power.
wish i screen capped it.
sit back enjoy and contribute some.
it's all in good fun
>>
the ability to heal any ailment, at the cost of feeling every pain or side effect that the person has while curing them
>>
The power to remove any alcohol from any room and the body of any person in that room. It just turns to water or soda or something. So no room with you in it can contain a single molecule of alcohol.
>>
the power to body control the mentally handicapped from the neck down.
you have the mental capacities of the person you are controlling for the duration of the control.
>>
>>77700674
But I already have that power

>>77700705
king pls go
>>
>>77700886
Great to help alcoholics
>>
any question you write down is instantly answered, correctly and with whatever provided information needed to convey an understanding of the information asked for.
the answer is on land locked alien computer buried a couple miles below mars surface.
>>
>>77700947
do you mean the most useful possibly ever?
>how do I make a machine to cure cancer
>how do I turn wood into gold
>how would one become god
>>
>>77694045
the power to tell the difference between Butter and "I can't believe it's not butter!"
>>
you and 4 other teenagers with attitudes can combine to turn into one dude with an attitude.
you have no clue who the other 4 are or where they are located. or if they even know about their powers.
if you activate your powers with out the others around you turn into the left arm of some random dude and die.
youre just an arm dude, you don't have a heart or any of the other organs needed for survival.
>>
>>77694045
Shitmancer. Control over turds, farts, and diarrhea.
>>
Explosive sneezes, but you're not immune.
>>
>>77701016
how would you get the answers
they are on mars
in an undisclosed location
buried under shit tons of rock
>>
The ability to smell all farts within 10 miles.
>>
>>77701087
ALLAH ACHEW!
>>
due to a radioactive dreidel accident you have been turned into a super jew, every jewish stereotype now exists through you, the positive and negative ones

you live in early 1940's germany
>>
the ability to make your retinas invisible
>>
you make kick ass buffalo chicken wings from scratch
>>
>>77694182
Does the power still work if you're 103?
>>
>>77694508
Literally hell on earth
>>
>>77694539
Why would you want to do that? Those effects are 100% beneficial.
>>
>>77694986
You can now taste the shit in your own colon.
>>
The power to blow out a HUGE stinky fart at any time. It will be a loud BOISTEROUS AND THUNDEROUS FART that will nearly SHAKE the seat/area that you're sitting in.

All will gasp at your feat and gag when they smell it's smelly smell.
>>
the ability physical exertion impossible to anyone in a 100m radius, yourself included
>>
>>77701763
The ability to go do look more like than anyone ever has really
>>
>>77694045

The power to feel ;_;
>>
>>77694045
>Come up with the worst superpower.
Alright.

The power to replace any damaged part of your body with bone.
>>
>>77695712
Kek
>>
>>77701763
The power to wang chung tonight.
>>
The power to become incredibly erect at any time.
>>
>>77697862
Splortshot.
My job here is done.
>>
The ability to die on command
>>
Is mayonnaise a superpower?
>>
>>77703095
That's called 'puberty', anon.
>>
File: He-man.jpg (55KB, 720x536px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
He-man.jpg
55KB, 720x536px
>>77701028
I have the powwwwweeeer!
>>
>>77701211
If the positive ones apply, you are crafty enough to escape and guide.manipulate the Allied powers into overcoming the Nazis, and then into setting you up in Israel or in a position of power in America. You know, like many intelligent Jewish politicians did do, for better or for worse. Also, if ALL positive stereotypes apply, you are also now rich, and one of God's chosen people. AND Satan's chosen people, since negative stereotypes apply. And you secretly control the world, the economy, and may even be a shapeshifting lizard person.

How is this bad? Because you're bad at sports, cheap, and have a big nose? Fuck it--you're still better-looking than a lot of "monstrous" heroes, and with a better powerset.
>>
The power to freeze water at 1 degree celsius
>>
The power to bleed at will, as much as your body possibly can.
And no, you don't regenerate it faster.
>>
>>77703812
That mean you wouldn't bleed from an open wound if you didn't wanted to.
>>
File: Copia (3) de ..ll.jpg (9KB, 114x225px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
Copia (3) de ..ll.jpg
9KB, 114x225px
>>77704102
That's actually sorta cool.
Ok, here's another, The power to turn inanimate objects into salt.
>>
>>77694094
>implying thats not the power i wish for ever day on the way to school/work
>>
>>77704283
>turning bullets into salt
>turning a nuclear warhead into salt
>turning sand into salt
>turning a crane into salt
You could be a hero, a villain, a troll or an entrepreneur. Salt is much more expensive than, say, dirt, you could buy dirt, turn into salt and sell it.
>>
didn't read but i'm going to assume the power to generate duplicate digits on a post number
>>
>>77704438
I'm bad at this, what about the power to change the weather, but only on different planets?
>>
>>77694045
the power to be human
>>
>>77704463
Useless now, but imagine on either a comic that happens on a interplanetary level or once we actually start having colonies in other planets. Besides, it would help us terraform some planets.
>>
>>77694183
>he hasn't played fallout
>>
>>77704492
Any comic with different races.
>>
The ability for every fart you make to sound like the Ducktales Nigger song. With no ability to turn it off.
>>
>>77704545
aren't you a little old for video games anon?
>>
No-hands-tip-man

You can tip your hat (only your hat) without touching it after saying something controversial, such as:
>God doesn't exist!
>Fascism is good!
>Hitler did nothing wrong!
>All men are rapist!
>All women are dumb!
>>
>>77694045
The power to take other peoples injuries or illnesses upon yourself by viewing them or by being within 10 feet of them.

you don't have fast healing, or even pain suppression, so its incredibly painful for you, and you cannot give the illness away.

enjoy being a hermit for the rest of your life mate.

only possible use would be retroactively taking a bullet for some-one important, or maybe selling your services to keep some rich ass hole healthy forever.
>>
>>77701083
i dunno, you could use that really well, use it to escape, Squid Ink style.
Or use it to dehydrate your enemies, literally make them shit themselves to death. Dysentery style.
use farts to choke a bitch.
fart rocket?
Turd Missiles?
Literal-Real-Life-Shit-Flinging

ENDLESS USES.
see as i use this power to shitpost all over /co/
>>
The power to transform into a midget, with the same height as you are now
>>
File: thumb.jpg (70KB, 300x250px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
thumb.jpg
70KB, 300x250px
>>77694045

The Power of Love
>>
>>77705876
if it also covers super weaknesses it makes you a great asset. if you're nearby, superman is immune to kryptonite, GL is immune to yellow etc
>>
>>77694045
the power not to be the OP.
>>
The power of always choosing the line in the supermarket where some shopper has a problem that takes several minutes to solve. If the line is empty, then you will have some problem like that.
>>
>>77694045
the power to come back to life after you die but only if you died a natural death also after every resurrection your lifespan is cut in half.
>>
>>77694045
The power to control your dreams when you sleep.
>>
Cum on command with no orgasm
>>
The ability to toast toast
>>
>>77708178
*control your dreams while you're awake
>>
>>77708487
>Here comes the Cuminator
>>
The power to soften your Penis at will
>>
>>77694045
The power to blackify everything you touch
You touch a icebear
>turns into a brownbear.
You drink water or milk
>it turns into chocosauce or cacao
Touch your dick
> whoops big long ...
I think you get it.
>>
The power to tell exactly how many toothpicks or paperclips or whatever just fell on the floor.
>>
>>77697862
It doesn't matter how late i am
Sea-man
>>
>>77708693
One hundred?
>>
>>77699509
Can you secrete from hands cuz if so I could become Spiderman lite
>>
the power to turn leaves orange
>>
>>77694528

Underrated post.
>>
>>77694094
Watch_Dogs
>>
File: happy-pepe.png (4KB, 512x512px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
happy-pepe.png
4KB, 512x512px
The power to make make your dick change color based on what it touches
>>
The ability to become black only when police are present
>>
>>77700892
i'd read a comic about a team-up between a guy with this power and stephen hawking

could even make a show out of it, we've had mike tyson mysteries
>>
the ability to grow your eyebrows really thick
>>
>>77694490

The power to freeze time, but only when every other person on Earth is asleep.
Thread posts: 316
Thread images: 14


[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / bant / biz / c / can / cgl / ck / cm / co / cock / d / diy / e / fa / fap / fit / fitlit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mlpol / mo / mtv / mu / n / news / o / out / outsoc / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / spa / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vint / vip / vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y] [Search | Top | Home]
Please support this website by donating Bitcoins to 16mKtbZiwW52BLkibtCr8jUg2KVUMTxVQ5
If a post contains copyrighted or illegal content, please click on that post's [Report] button and fill out a post removal request
All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.
This is a 4chan archive - all of the content originated from that site. This means that 4Archive shows an archive of their content. If you need information for a Poster - contact them.