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ITT: Stupid shit cartoons got you to do.

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Thread replies: 632
Thread images: 154

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When I was in 6th grade, I sang "Stand Out" to my crush during lunch break.
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How'd that work out for you?
I joined my school's Beyblade club
I used to call everyone "bub" and hang pretzel rods out of my mouth like a cigar
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That's an adorable story.
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Not cartoons, but I'd spend all of recess trying to fly.
I knew I could do it, if only I could just focus my ki correctly.
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holy shit the worst i ever did was act like Solid Snake during recess.

I take it the serenade didnt work out did it
She said "it was a sweet gesture and that I had a lovely voice." But that I "wasn't her type"
She was the Stacey of my school.
Dude, success or failure, you are awesome to have that kind of balls in sixth grade nshe might have had her right to say 'no', but anyone who mocks you is a douche, unworthy of your time.
>wasn't her type

If only girls would give us a chance.

What was her type op? Did you ever find out
This is kinda just my personal salt left over from then, but she ended up going out with that one faggot kid that dressed in all black 80% of the time and listened to My Chemical Romance, Fall out Boy, Panic! Etc...
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That reminded me of the 'popular girl' who stood me up at the 8th grade dance, she took my teddy bear and chocolates but, she didn't go with me.

Later found out after high-school she got knocked up right outta high school and the dude walked out on her.
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When I was in 6th grade, I convinced my best buddy we should confess our feelings to our respective crushes on the last day of school.

His rejected him harshly, and I chickened out of talking to mine, convinced myself I could wait till 7th grade, so I could improve on my looks. She moved out of the country and I never saw her again.

To add assault to injury, her best friend who stayed behind later casually mentioned she was into me too, just wanted me to make a move.

>can appreciate emos but not powerline

She wasn't worth your time friend
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>I chickened out of talking to mine, convinced myself I could wait till 7th grade, so I could improve on my looks. She moved out of the country and I never saw her again.
i opened to this thread expecting cringe.
i didn't expect to feel this hard.
Not exactly cartoons or publically done, but I used to get on my tip toes, tuck my arms up to my elbows,and hunch my back forward and pretend I was a chicken walker mech from mechwarrior/battletech.

I can't look at those fursuit stilts meant to help one achieve digigrade walking without thinking I should buy a pair myself so I can be one step closer to being a Masakari/Dire Wolf.

Whrr chk! Whrr chk! Whrr chk! Whrr chk!
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>X-men: Evolution was my favorite cartoon in 6th grade
>Toad was my favorite character, i wanted to be just like him
>Leapt everywhere i went, always resting in crouched position
>Even willingly ate bugs and said they were delicious

Jesus. What was i thinking? He's still a based as fuck characte tho...

Opposite ended up happening to me in 8th grade

Qt confesses her feelings to me and I was confused because I had no clue who she was

Every time I tried to talk to her after that she would get so scared she'd run away and I had no idea what to make of it
I tried to reenact the Lets Get Down to Business scene in my gym class in 10th grade without telling anyone. I just took off my shirt, started singing, and hoped people would just go with it.

They did not.
If it makes you feel better, I tried eating both ants and dirt because mymlogic as a kid was brown = chocolate.

Soo, what kind of bugs did you try? Insects are pretty good protein sources. My big concern though is sanitation, bugs don't hang out in the cleanest places.
>Serenading a chick with a Disney pop song
Step it up
I ate a cookie of the floor on a dare in 7th grade
I'm pretty sure that it's been done in a bunch of shows revolving around kids in school.
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holy shit i can't breathe.
When I was like 15 there was a school project where we had to make a posterboard illustrating how we imagine our future. I clipped a picture of Goku out of a magazine and put it on there as who I will be in the future. I also used a picture of the Bat Cave for my future home.

We had to present these in front of the whole class.
It was painful.

But now for something actually cringy.

>7th grade.
>I'm still pining for the one that got away, my buddy is still trying to woo his waifu.
>Valentine's Day rolls up.
>Principal sets up a Valentine's Day card speed delivery service to gather some money.
>Basically, we crafted Valentine's Day cards for weeks on arts class.
>On Valentine's Day, we could add our names, the name of the significant other, and a group of volunteers working for extra credit would deliver it throughout the day.
>Principal then gathers the 6th, 7th, 8th and 9th grade on the gym to read the Valentine's Day sender and receiver aloud.
>My buddy is embarassed to not get any, though I really don't care. So he decides to send a "Pal Card" to me. He actually scribbles it on the card over "Valentine".
>When his name is called as the sender, I'm supposed to get up, since I'm the receiver, and we do a manly handshake.
>Principal starts reading.
>She always says, "and this card is from PERSON A, to his Valentine, PERSON B".
>My buddy's time rolls up.
>Principal ignores the scribbled "Pal" and reads "This card is from DUDE A"
>Buddy gets up all excited.
>"to his VALENTINE, DUDE B (me)".
>Everyone laughing and making gay jokes.
>Dude is on his feet.
>Ashamed as I am, I take the bullet with him, get up, and our manly handshake is the most awkward thing ever. We avoid eye contact, he gets kinda' confused and goes for a hug.
>We sit back down and never speak of it again.
>Everyone else spoke about it for months.

It was painful.
God damn I hate rock

Coulda been worse
You should've played along faggot.

You let down your bro.

That is what's really painful
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>he gets kinda' confused and goes for a hug.

All sorts of bugs. Grasshoppers were the most meaty, along with the bigger crickets. Ladybugs tasted the worst, worms and caterpillars were slimy yet satisfying as im sure you've heard. The worst part was that being made fun of just made me feel more like toad and escalated my behavior.
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>10th grade
holy shit, that makes it even worse
Someone's bitter.
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I did that with the Japanese lyrics of the Tales of Symphonia theme song.
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I did not know this level of cringe existed

10/10 anon for sharing, i wouldve taken that shit to my grave
I used to carry around a tiny briefcase full of Yugioh decks. It wasn't even a real briefcase, it was one of those tiny "backgammon checkers and more!" game cases with compartments for all the pieces.

Fucks sake.
>10th grade
you really shouldve known better, son
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That's actually kind of cu-

>7th grade

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>crushing really hard on a mega qt at sixth form (age 17 for Americans)
>have done for ages
>we technically dated aged 13 but I spaghetti'd and ruined it before we could even kiss
>finally ask her out after spending ages planning out where to go on the last week before summer holidays
>she says yes and has a qt flattered/excited expression I've never seen before
>cancels on me because of family stuff
>can't immediately reschedule because she's on holiday abroad after
>assume she just didn't like me really
>bitter virgin feelings
>sad for the rest of the summer holidays
>never make a move again
>she's now a major dramafag lead at her uni dating a qt guy
>I'm no longer a virgin but pic related

That's the blogging feels part out of the way. The /co/ part is that I recently tried to start watching Teen Titans so I could use it as a way to start talking to a girl I nearly got with a few years ago, who watched it way back when we were 13.

Is that the most pathetic conversation starter attempt ever?
The Little Mermaid gave me a foot fetish, so after I started seeing this girl in 8th grade I asked her if she'd show me her feet. She was visibly weirded out by the request and was like "Um, not right now."

She did eventually though.
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Something similar happened to me, there was this cute arian girl who had a crush on me, i was this weird, autistic fuck, but i was friendly enough to be her friend, we became friends and i never left her side for like, 4 years or something, until she had to move away before i was able to confess, her cousin, who was a whore, was aware of her crush on me, and she tried to steal me from her, but she failed, when i finally found her again on facebook years ago, she was a elitist K-pop weeb who refused to even give me a chance unless i got into the exact same things she liked
I guess I'll give some stories

> Read comics in middle school
> I was a funny guy and people liked me but everyone thought I was weird because I read comics.
> qt 3.14 of the school says she likes that I read comic books, it makes me not like the other guys
>"Well you know how I do Baby Doll"
>"Tee hee ugoo your funny"
>All of a sudden silence in the class
>I hear something
>Everyone else hears it too
>I open my backpack to find my mp3 player playing
>"I'm a Barbie Girl in a Barbie woooorld!"
>Class points and laughs including qt
>Wrapped in plastic, It's so fantastic!

Worst day of School ever.
for reference, this is what I sang, in full, loudly:
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This thread is amazing so far
I'm glad that happened to you, your friend deserved that satisfaction.
Should have retorted "my dick is your type." And took her into the bathroom and gave her a good dickening.
It's an anonymous image board, you can say anything here.

>be 6 years old
>playing soccer
>run around the field saying "psy ay ay" like a Psyduck
>increasing frequency and volume depending on how fast I was running
>one kid comments "WOW, YOU REALLY LIKE POKEMON!"

From around that time period
>know that you can't use your hands in soccer
>no one ever said anything about not using your butt
>sit on the ball
>whistle blown, penalty in opponents' favor
>there are no butts in soccer
So this is what those girl oriented shows sound like.
I used to run like Sonic for almost an entire school year.
I soon realized that shit was ridiculous and I stopped quickly. Everything went a lot better from that moment.
Holy fuck I'm in tears.
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>these people having chances and missing them
I am so pissed for every single one of you because I've never had a lick of interest shown in me in my life. What does it feel like knowing you could net at least one person being you?
Fuck me, I just remembered I did that too...but I called it the superman run.
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>there are no butts in soccer
>She did eventually though.

That's the part that matters Anon. Good job.
>be 14
>do p. gud spongebob impression
>bullshit all the time with qt girl who sits next to me in class
>she thinks my spongebob impression is hilarious
>ask her out in SpongeBob voice
>game is on point, she says yes

It gets worse.

>eventually realizes what an autistic faggot I am
>won't talk to me anymore
>ask her what's wrong
>she won't say, probably in an attempt to spare my feelings
>ask her what's wrong in SpongeBob voice
>start crying as I do so
>commitment to character above all, continue asking her why she won't talk to me in SpongeBob voice through sobs
>kids start laughing
>GODDAMMIT loud as fuck as SpongeBob
>class loses it
>even the teacher is laughing
>storm out of classroom and run the full 6 miles home
>sobbing the whole time

Actually had to change schools over this shit. Luckily my parents got me into some counseling so I'm a normal human being today, but it's one of the reasons I don't acknowledge anything that happened to me before the age of 17 or so.
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I'm glad I'm not the only one.

I would also put my arms into the air with my elbows up and my foreamrs down to look like a Firemoth.
Flattering and discouraging to know that person would completely lose interest as soon as she really gets to know you.
I've posted this before but
>primary school, like 7 years old
>playing pretend with friends
>friend randomly yells SUPER DUPER SUMO and belly bounces me
>I lose my footing and go head first into an iron fence
>massive head gash, day off school
I hated the show even before that happened

Also in primary (elementary) school we used to play superheroes all the time but because I was oddly popular with the cool sporty kids and the girls I'd sometimes end up getting dragged off by them to play other (cooler) games. Then my nerdy friends would consider it an in-game mission to get me back, in character. How my childhood street cred survived it astounds me
I called it the Naruto run. It's not a unique thing, lots of people used to do it.

Doesn't it even matter if she moved out of the country? The relationship was doomed to fail no matter what.
doesn't make it any better
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Like shit, i wish i had the comic here, but it only makes you want to go back and do things right, you look back at the piece of shit you used to be and you cringe, the lack of confidence and balls to do things makes you rage
>You will never have other chance to stealth rape your sister's hot best friend
It's a thing that when you do it while younger you think you are badass for doing it.
Then everyone starts making fun of it and realize you have to stop doing that because, let's face it, it's not badass.
>Principal then gathers the 6th, 7th, 8th and 9th grade on the gym to read the Valentine's Day sender and receiver aloud.
WHY?! Valentines should be private.
That's probably why you got rejected, fag.
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It was your best day ever wasn't anon?
Yeah you're lying.
>lovely voice
Can you actually sing, or was she trying to let you down easy.
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I used to draw gross comics in my notebook, and then I'd show them to the girl I liked who sat next to me.

She laughed at first, but in the long run it worked out as you would expect.
I'd say the "Pal Card" stuff was satisfaction enough.

But one that truly stung was this.

>Before I met the one that got away.
>Have a crush on a family friend.
>Go to her birthday party.
>At this point, I honestly think she's into me.
>She lives quite far away from where I live, we only get together on special occasions, so I don't know her friends.
>As the party rolls on, I try to get closer to her, but she's too busy with her school friends.
>Feeling left out because I literally don't know anyone at that party, and struggle with conversation because I'm two years younger.
>Eventually, one of her friends comes up and says a guy from her school showed up uninvited and they need my help to keep him away from her.
>I feel I can prove my worth by ensuring she has a pleasant party.
>Go into bodyguard mode, block the dude when he comes too close, stay by her side, without actually talking to her, for most of the night.
>At one point, she's group dancing with her friends and I'm literally shuffling in circles around them, on my own, to prevent unwanted advances.
>Near the end of the party, I get distracted and later see her with the dude that's supposed to be bothering her, and she's drooling over him.
>I get confused, so another friend of hers tells me she basically used me to show to the dude, whom she had a crush on, how desirable she was, because she had a guy following her around like a puppy dog.
>All her girl friends were in on the plan, badmouthing the guy to me to rope me into being the patsy.
>This girl that told me felt sorry for me after a while.
>Crush eventually dated that guy for a while. I actually didn't see her again for some time.
>Now she was another boyfriend and goes out of her way to avoid me at get-togethers.
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>ask her what's wrong
>she won't say, probably in an attempt to spare my feelings
She probably watched the new episodes
It's not supposed to make it better, it's supposed to contextualize it.

Smoking weed and playing video games all day is pretty common when you're a teenager. It's not necessarily a good thing, but it's common and somewhat understandable.

Doing that shit into your 20s though...it just starts being sad and pathetic.
No, sir, it was not.

Sometimes I wish I were.
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>this thread
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You should give up on human interaction if this is the best you can do.
>That's probably why you got rejected
I didn't reply to you, I like rock music.

I'd like to think that I can.
>7th grade
>cartoons have convinced me that if you're going to get a girl, you've got to have a convoluted plan
>first day of school, get told in science class to bring in something hobby-related (icebreaker shit)
>second day, in science meet the most qt grill i'd ever seen
>very first head-over-heels infatuation
>she likes manga
>she ends up as my lab partner
>think "if I can figure out this manga bullshit, I can impress her with my knowledge"
>get into manga, realize i'd already had digimon, pokemon and dbz under my belt
>naruto is the first manga i'd ever read (I wasn't ever super-autistic about it thankyfully)
>months pass
>valentine's day
>write love letter (in haiku form, no less) that referenced manga and how I liked her, didn't name myself but told her she knew who i was
>solid snake that shit into her locker during lunch
>next class with her
>calls me a dumbass and refuses to be civil with me for the rest of the year
>shocked, how the fuck did she know
>friend points out to me that she was my lab partner for the year, had been reading my lab notes and classwork for months and thus knew my handwriting
Sounds like you were a creep anon. Though to be fair, they were all assholes too.
Shit nigga one recess I was playing tag with my friend and tried to do a kamehameha to try and speed up
>it just starts being sad and pathetic.
Oh God I just remembered the best story
>be me, like 9 or 8 years old
>love the Spider-Man PS1 game
>fall out with a friend in the playground for whatever reason
>challenges me to a fight
>never had a fight before
>tiny little skinny kid
>I'm nervous but I know what I need to do
>back away from him about the length of two cars
>standing still, I push my right foot against the floor and back (like I'm riding an invisible microscope) mimicking a bull about to charge
>charge at him headfirst like in the fight against Rhino
>get to him and suddenly I'm upside down and all I can see is sky
>he literally just flipped me over or something
>grazed my knee
>carried on being friends like nothing happened after a small period of ridicule
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>this thread

no, i did watch korra and bought alice madness returns for a girl a liked to start a conversation.
Now i havent even played alice and never passed the first season of korra.
>calls me a dumbass and refuses to be civil with me for the rest of the year
Remember kids, never stick your dick on weeb
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>This thread.

C´mon guys!
Didnt you have someone to tell you to not do everything you see in cartoons?
>calls me a dumbass and refuses to be civil with me for the rest of the year
I don't see why that would elicit this reaction. I mean if you were friends with her enough to know her locker and not being a totally creep/stalker about it, it seems pretty casual.

It sounds like you were being a creep about it though.
Our principal was crazy.

>5th grade.
>Principal shows up in class one day with a baby chimpanzee perched on her shoulder, to announce a field trip to the zoo.
>Kids surround her, girls swooning over the cute little baby monkey.
>It gets scared and shits uncontrollaby on her shoulder and hair.
>Has to be rushed out of the classroom.
It's pretty awful when you're never, ever attracted to them back. Literally experienced reciprocal attraction once, resulted in me losing my virginity with two women without ever having a sexual experience of any kind including kissing previously. I jump on my opportunities.
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>Didnt you have someone to tell you to not do everything you see in cartoons?
No anon, cartoons teached me that you can just be yourself and you will make friends, they teached me life can be simple if you make the right amount of effort, they teached me that there is someone out there for everybody, you just need to be patient, i am making 20 years old next month, i am a kissless faggot who never had a girlfriend or friends since i was 10
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>>charge at him headfirst like in the fight against Rhino
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>on the playground with my small, shy best friend
>playing Reboot
>play structure is shaped a bit like an octagon with multiple entrances (ladder, slide, etc)
>have him stand in the arch way of one entrance
>I go to another
>he just stands there
>beat him up
>he cries and leaves
>I won
I was a normal kid, but I always was shit at hiding my crushes. Anyone with two eyes could figure out when I was into a girl, and most of the time it ended badly for me.
Well I was 13 and had no fucking idea what I was doing, so yeah I probably came off creepy
Not really too bad but always makes me slap my face:

>good looking but years of being awkward as puck have left me with no idea what to do around women
>in bedroom with crush
>she's type 10 hyperslut but love is blind
>she's showing me the sex toys she wants to buy in some catalog
>"I already bought this stuff that numbs your throat so you can really deep throat"
>few more minutes go buy
>stand up
>"well I got to go to work, see you late."
>halfway home before I realize what just happened

If they ever invent time travel this is the first mistake I fix.
I have literally been in three case where I would like a girl, some other girl likes me, get rejected by first girl, other girl casually mentions she used to like me but that died down.

That's some shit.
Yeah, to this day I have no idea why. I think it's because I had a big head so I figured it was my one advantage. I might have been younger than 9, I was one of the youngest in my year
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I never dropped an anvil on someone's head...but I would if I got the chance.
>Be kid.
>Love action movies, especially martial arts.
>Skinny and pale.
>The hero always takes his shirt off in the final battle.
>Go to school one day.
>Bully picking on me.
>Get fed up and throw a punch. Doesn't connect.
>Bully decides he's gonna beat me up.
>"Oh, shit, it's a final battle".
>Take my shirt off in front of the entire class for the fight and make Bruce Lee noises.
>Bully gets weirded out and lets me be.
>Everyone mocks me 'till high school.
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Cmon anon. Also this has nothing to do with cartoons. In fact most of these stories have nothing to do with cartoons. still entertaining though
>Bully gets weirded out and lets me be.
Well... it worked didn't it.
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>implying i ever knew a girl that was into me
>implying it wasn't just me who was into them
>implying that the only girl who showed interest in me wasn't a sex obsessed goth
gg anon
>hang pretzel rods out of my mouth like a cigar
My negro.
I also did it with Slim Jims.
and this relates to /co/ how

Alright I got another one dealing with the same girl

> A little after the Barbie Girl incident
> I'm still madly in crush with qt
> She's one of the only people to still talk to me (Middle Schoolers are dicks)
> I think she still likes me but I'm not sure
> "a-anon you know my birthday is next week.."
>Oh god
> "I would really like it if you would go to my party"
> She blushes
> I turn red
> Can't think of a joke
> "S-sure"

>I run home trying to think of the perfect present to get her.
> Days pass and I have no idea what to get her
>I ask my mom what to do
> "You know what girls really love anon? SHAMPOO!"
> "Of Course! why didnt I think of such a brilliant idea!" I thought at the time. Thinking my mom was an expert on women because she was a hair dresser
>Birthday comes around
> I show up to her house, only two of her friends are there.
> all three of the girls are smoken hot
> "H-heres your present"
> "...Shampoo?"
>I look back at my mom who laughs as she drives away.

Thanks Mom...
Post a vocaroo of your voice, let's find out if your bad singing made her reject you.
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More /a/ related but
>really like Naruto
>used to pretend to be ninjas with my friends at lunch
>even wore a fucking headband around my neck and ran with my hands behind my back
>find out my landlord's son is into Naruto too
>play in the mangroves for hours on end because the scenery is similar to the forest during the Chuunin exam
>brings a friend with him one time (looking back I think the friend might've been autistic)
>landlord's son and I are doing stupid jitsus and psuedo martial arts shit
>friend grabs a huge rusty metal pole and hurls it at landlord's son
>splits is fucking shin open
>oh shit nigger what're you doing
>run out of there with my hands behind my back to find an adult
>landlord's son has to go to the ER, leg is broken
We were both banned from going in the mangroves after that
Oh yeah, touching a woman...should have known /co/ wouldn't get it
that hey arnold strategy
Anon I'm this guy
We should have met up as kids and formed a C-lister style superhero team. I could have been the 3 foot heavy hitter and you could have been the martial austist
Seeing a cliche in real life is the weirdest shit.
>walking with friends from dining hall to dorm
>one friend slips and almost falls flat on his back
>he'd stepped on a discarded banana peel
20 is not bad anon. People feel the pressure because our shitty pop culture is always hammering how important it is to get laid all the time. Real life is nothing like that.
>used to pretend to be ninjas with my friends at lunch
Two lines in and i'm already done. Never go full naruto.
I was a kissless virgin until 20. Started going to bars with friends and made out with a girl like one of the first times I ever went to a bar. Lost my virginity a few months later. There is hope anon
>play in the mangroves for hours on end because the scenery is similar to the forest during the Chuunin exam
Not gonna lie, this sounds baller as fuck
Columbine was when I was in 9th grade.

Tragedy that it was, it helped out a lot with being a weirdo. Kids went from "Ew he's gross" to "Don't mess with that kid he's going to snap one day."
I never got into a fight with a bully but I'm %100 sure this is how I would have attempted to handle it.

>you dont touch a women in your story
>he dosnt know /co/ is full guy
>his first plan if he ever gets a time machine isnt restructuring the treaty of versailles
do you even lurk?
If she wouldn't take initiative herself, how can you say she ever liked you at all.

Boys don't have to be the one who put themselves out there, the ladies have to take up some of the slack
I'm 22 next month and I haven't had my first kiss. I think nothing of it really, I've been really busy with school and I'm going to be chilling for much of my senior year now.

Though you should probably join a club or find some friends, hard to go out without em.
I can sympathize anon. I was the same way as a kid. I got called creepy all the time by girls (and I was actually a pretty normal kid). It was because my infatuation was too obvious and it made them uncomfortable.
No thanks.
>> "You know what girls really love anon? SHAMPOO!"

I lost it.
It helps that Arnold was actually pretty popular though.
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>martial autist
Sensible kek.

>/a/ related
Embarrassing shit knows no board boundaries. Cartoons fucked us all.


Thanks, i am just not very used to social interaction as i used to be, i can barely talk to people, and i am so used to be alone that it just feels weird when i try doing stuff like that, part of me simply doesn't want to get out and "act like a normie", even for the sake of sex and friends, preferring to die alone than doing a "intelectual sudoku", pretending to be a dumb faggot and never talking about shit you like with anybody so people will not think you're autistic

Did it go better or worse than this:

My stupid thing was I tried to open a can like Goofy did in the movie. Wound up chipping one of my teeth, which is why one of my canines has a flat tip.
So your mom intentionally tricked you?
Oddly enough, it once helped me.

>Elementary school.
>Girls decide to do one of their random popularity tests.
>Walk around the class tallying votes for prettiest girl in class.
>I have a crush on this girl, and everyone is already making jokes about it because it's so obvious even though I deny it.
>My turn to answer.
>"Hey, anon, who's the prettiest girl in class".
>The girl tallying the votes is a qt I never really paid attention to because the crush made me blind.
>Realize I'll never hear the end of it and probably be mocked if crush and her clique find out I voted for her.
>Panic and vote for qt tally girl instead. First vote she had.
>We become friends and she ends up becoming my first girlfriend eventually.
With the exception of a few incidents, I have pretty fond memories of mangroves. Shit's cool as fuck.
must have been nice to live in SoL anime.
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I'm almost disappointed in myself in that I was a kid across the 90s and loved cartoons but didn't do embarrassing shit really aside from my own tendency to trip everywhere.

But for a few things I remember doing:
I did a Beavis voice for a huge chunk of my 7th grade year. I'm surprised my friends did not disown me.

In early high school, friends and I saw the first Pokemon movie together and reenacted the Psyduck vs. Psyduck slap at random for a good year or two. Hell if something recalls the movie again, we'll still do it.

This is definitely /a/, but I did pick up nonsensical Japanese gibberish phrases to use here and there like "ara" and "no da." Thankfully weeaboos did not appear full force until my senior year so there was no group mindset that made me go farther into that rabbit hole.

Lack of humiliating instances and clearly separating fiction from reality from a young age makes me feel like I never truly lived as a child.
There were more people watching, and I don't know how his story really turns out.
My crush got together with some scene kid a month later.
Probably worse though, I don't think I made her day.
This seriously reads like something out of a cartoons
>high school
>have massive crush on our school's Stacy
>they knew it
>deny it because I knew I'd never hear the end of it
>end up going out with the mousy nerdy grill everyone knew I'd end up with
It's like pottery
When I was 11 me and a friend memorized the Uncle Fucker song from the South Park movie dispite me having never seen the film. I loved the song.

I've already made 3 or 4 greentext posts in this thread, I was never aware of how much cartoons affected me. Maybe the parents after banning cartoons are right
>freshmen in high school
>make friends with the two girls who sit next to me
>we talk about anime and manga and study
>as the year goes on girl A starts harassing me
>calls me stupid, ignores me, asks girl B to stop talking to me
>eventually I brake down and start crying in front of my class
>they learn some horrible shit about my life and I have a whole month left before summer and new classes
>last week of class girl A tells me she had a crush on me and didn't know how to act
I used to laugh like Iago back in Elementary School.
Nothing could have saved you anon, if it wasn't cartoons it would have been movies, comics, rumors, or your "thoughts"
She doesn't think any girl will ever be good for me.
Even my current girlfriend who I have been dating for 3 years isnt good enough to her.
So tsundere.
you should have manned up and tamed that wild tsundere.
Misunderstood Tsunderes create Woman-Haters
I loved gargoyles as a kid and would 'freeze' like stone in random places or in my mom's shopping cart with the scariest face I could manage and not move for several minutes at a time. My mom would push me around with my mouth hanging wide open in a snarl because I thought if I believed hard enough, people would see me as a gargoyle.
Warn her that you think you're developing an Oedipus Complex.
I feel like I'm one with you, /co/mrades.

Totally would have been your childhood friend, anon. You sound awesome.
I hope Im not the first person to tell you that your mom has serious attachment issues
I want to make a webcomic based on all my embarrassing moments in life.
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Was it more or less cringe than this?

Also holy shit this thread is killing me.
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>be me
>be sophomore
>Be known as the bow tie kid who was nerdy and read comics from the library in class.
>have 2nd period language arts
>be wearing a bow tie and reading a joss whedon "Runaways" trade
>new girl comes in
>Teacher introduces her to the class
>"please welcome cecelia" (lets just call her that)
>look up and see this 5'3 qt shy tumblr dressed 8/10 hispanic girl
>+5 to crush
>cecelia walks by me as she goes to her desk
>sits down two desks away from me in the column of desks to my left
>sets her back pack on the floor to her right
>Teacher hands out an assignment and tells everyone to take a out a pencil
>Cecelia turns to her right and get one out of her bag
>as she is about to face forward she sees my bow tie, she smiles and says
>"I like your bow tie"
>I smile and say "thamks" in the least confident manner possible
>I knew I had to do something to get her number. So I start planning
>After weeks of planning I decided to execute my plan at the end of the year...on the last day of class to be exact

>Last day
>Walking 2nd period
>Wearing a bow tie
>See cecelia as I walk in and wink at her thinking im hot shit
>She blushes and giggles a little
>Sit down at desk and take out some paper and start drawing me as a superhero with a bow tie with a caption saying
>"Wanna be my side kick?"
>I thought this was the most clever thing possible
>She gets up from her seat to give the teacher something
>I walk over to her desk and put the note on her desk
>She sits down and reads my note and looks back at me with a blushing face and writes something on the note and passes it back
>I open the note and it says "Sure" with her digits right next to it

>We start texting and after a while I finally get the courage to ask her out and she hits me with th fucking B-bomb that we've all heard at least once.
>"oh hun I can't go on a date with you, im sorry I have a Boyfriend and you seem like a really nice kid but I care about him a lot, I can't do that to him. I'm sorry."
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That's adorable!
The horrible thing was I was raped by a teacher when I was younger and lived in a life of only women and was bullied by my 3 sisters. Everyone in my class heard.

We dated for the summer and girl B from class told me I became very popular among girls. Eventually I had a lot of female friends all being hypersensitive to me and it made her jealous so we broke up. I then was passed around by my friends until I joined the anime club.

I ended up dating a cute shy red head from the anime club who had a crush on me and asked me out with a picture of us drawn as anime characters. I'm still with her.
Thank you. I literally believed in my heart if I put my soul into something, I would be seen as it.

>love raptors
>first day of 3rd grade arrives
>walk into class in my full raptor form
>kids are disturbed
>they must not have seen a raptor before
>hiss and dart as fast as I can awkwardly wiggle run my little legs to a seat of my choosing
>crouch on seat because raptors can't sit like people
>hiss at teacher when she tells me to sit correctly
>I am sitting correctly in raptor form
>arms are pulled up to my chest and everything

This went on for a while. Then again, I spent most of my life alone in my home because my mom worked all day/night and left me with Jurassic Park VHSs so...
Why do all these stories involve people's moms?
>even anon's mom thought he was a dork
Oh man you dont even know how bad it is. I have sooo many stories with my mom doing stuff to I fail at love life.
This makes me wonder, are there really dark SoL anime?
aw that's sweet.

the cute redhead gf thing not the raped by my teacher thing.
I actually did the same thing except I leapt in my home exclusively and I did not eat bugs.
Oh god, I had to stop as soon as he started walking towards more people. I thought he was just going to scream at the sidelines but fuck
Oh god this so fucking much.
>nearly every girl that has ever been infatuated with me has been black
>don't find black girls attractive in any way
Fuck my life, and no, I'm not even black.
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She stopped talking to me and it turns out she moved a month after this happened. I still haven't healed from this
>we've all heard at least once
No one on this board has heard it only once
>7th grade
>have huge crush on girl
>Decide to ask her out
>Entire grade actually encouraging me to do and is on my side
>Ask her in front of everyone
>"sorry I'm not into guys yet"
>Went home that day cried and watched a Godzila movie
At least I'll always have kaiju...right guys?
NHK is the only one I can think of.

I love her very much but things are very difficult sometimes because of me admitting.
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>mfw I can hear the sound effects in my head
Anon, god-speed. I hope that one day you will be able to be the mechwarrior to free us from the Clanner scum.
For me its chubby girls. I'm not even shallow but Im a 5'7" manlet and the engineering is impossible.
Wait hold on a minute.
Is that song supposed to be embarrasing? That was the shit back in the 90s.
>elementary school about 3rd grade
>really into insects
>girl I have a crush on says she likes bugs and stuff since her brother has a pet tarantula
>think, awesome I'll get her the coolest one I can find
>looking around in my back yard for anything
>find a cool looking shiny black spider
>catch it in a bottle
>next day put it in her desk with a note saying "More where that came from" -from Anon
>class starts and she starts screaming
>it bit her hand
>teacher sees the spider and evacuates everyone and calls ambulance
>everyone panicking, in the confusion grab the note and run out
>she spends a few days in the hospital
I thought I killed her, never told anybody it was me. Last I heard she was studying entomology, I like to think I had a hand in that.
Steiner strong.
For girls, m8.
I've been familiar with Mechwarrior since I was little and just now did I realize how retarded Firemoth looks with those arms.
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I got on a stage at band camp and sung this song
I had to be in another group and no one had any ideas. So I thought we could do this skit,https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hbqq77AEN_8 we were given the Gone about 3 minutes in.
>Last I heard she was studying entomology
I used to do panther noises when I got into fights. I don't know why, I think the Twilight Zone made me do it.
>We had to present these in front of the whole class.
Oh, that's the worst.
One time in my Marketing Class around Halloween, we had to design a haunted house and market it. Mine was based around the Evil Dead 2 cabin and wouldn't make sense if you hadn't seen the movie. Thankfully my teacher had seen it and understood that fact, so he let me skip the presentation.
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I bet you also had butter knife claws.
I never liked getting my hair cut as a kid, and it was very blonde.

So I used to run around pretending I was Thor. Also helped I was actually stronger than alot of my class-mates due to being a hyper little wild-kid.
>go through early puberty (like grade 4, so age 9-10 or so)
>girls in my class obviously still think boys are icky
>have a bag of toy Jacks things, I think they were called Knuckleheads?
>crush sees them one day, sits with me and talks all recess
>never again
>I get them out from tie to time and think about the first and only time anyone has ever shown interest in me

>sent valentines card to same crush
>got it out in the middle of class and laughed at me in front of everyone
>didn't bother me at the time, but now it makes me sad
>hot teacher thought it was very brave of me
At least you didn't call yourself He-Man.
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>more where that came from
For me it's dudes.
Fags think I'm a prize or something.
>Be kid.
>Reading Flash comics.
>It's a story about Zoom, from the Wally era.
>Zoom has this energy gauntlet thing.
>I think it's the hypest shit.
>At recess, play alone and pretend to be Zoom with my energy gauntlet.
>qt thinks I'm trying to flex my non-existant biceps at her.
>Mocks me to the entire class.
>I got hassled for months.
>mfw my name is Barry.
A boy's relationship with his mother is the most important one of his life. Fuck that up and it ruins every interaction he will have with a girl for the rest of his life.
I was sort of a neutral-bully as a kid.

If someone did say that to me, I'd usually punch them.

I liked He-man too though.

Any Warriors made me giddy.

Right now I'm more of a Conan guy.
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>I like to think I had a hand in that
I was in a similar situation a couple times.

please just kill me now.
Just trying to be optimistic.

How'd you manage to meet/keep your current gf with a mom like that
Don't blame yourself, anon. The pussy game ridiculous
So in a way... Women are truly responsible for /co/ becoming a thing.
When I say three minutes, I don't mean the video 3 minutes, but we were on the stage for three minutes. Didn't get past the "but a dream" line
Shit. It wasn't a black widow or something like that was it?
Holy shit that was physically painful. Even the explanation after was awful.
As an adult that would be funny, but that was the 10th grade. You've gotta kill your emotions and stupidity by 80%.
Pencil claws, actually.
It was, I had heard of them but I never saw one before. So when the teacher said what what it was I realized what I had done and gabbed the note.
>4th grade.
>Believe men should be gentlemen.
>At gym class.
>Notice by accident that a girl's panties are visible.
>Assume that's an accident and she'd feel embarassed if she realized it.
>Struggle with the conundrum all day: Do I tell her?
>Eventually decide I'd feel terribly guilty if I didn't point that out and someone made fun of her for it.
>Realize I need to be casual about it so it doesn't come off bad.
>Pull her aside during gym class, then assume relax pose.
>Hands in pockets, semi-shrug stance, leaning against a wall.
>"What do you wanna talk to me about, Anon?"
>Gotta' be casual.
>"Stuff... Like the weather. Been pretty chilly, huh?"
>"Yeah... I guess..."
>Gotta' rope her into the conversation to then drop the bomb.
>"Yeah, but you know, I like chill. It's better than when it's hot. Your panties are showing."
>That shit wasn't casual.
>"Not that I was looking, it was just a coincidence, I'm not a creep or anything."
>Get called a creep.
>She knew they were showing all along.
Are you a twink? The bears love their twinks.
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Well it's not cringe related or /co/ related but it is over protective parent related and /a/ related but here we go.

>the year is 2012
>be 16
>dad is very skeptical about Japanese stuff
>I could not watch a single anime or play a JRPG without supervison
>one day my friend calls me and tells me about Madoka Magica
>he sends me a download link to the whole series
>watch it without supervision
>make it to the second episode
>dad gets home from work early
>i'm at the part of the intro where Homura and Madoka are transforming
>dad is 200% mad
>he takes my computer and tells me he's going to watch the whole series in one night to see if it is porn
>i leave that day to spend the night at my friends house
>completely forget about everything
>come home the next day
>dad is crying like a baby
>i have never seen him cry before
>"you alright dad?"
>i-it's nothing son... you can have your computer back."
>confused as fuck what happened in the show that made him cry
>later that week i find out

yep 2012 sure was fun.
>"Yeah, but you know, I like chill. It's better than when it's hot. Your panties are showing"
Oh lord please tell me you didn't think that was cool

>She knew they were showing all along.
And then you experimented right?

if it makes you feel any better black girls will usually take anything they can get

That tanning salon fire statistic from the boondocks might as well be true
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>Just watching Madoka

I know, I know, you're over 18 now. It's just...time
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> Always be that quiet kid that didn't want no trouble.
> Decide that in 3rd grade I would make a hovercraft for science fair because fuck yeah science!
> Bring it in the next day and suddenly I'm the coolest kid in class.
> The girls want to ride it with me.
> The boys who sometimes let me play with them said I was cool.
> I didn't let any of them ride it because I was afraid they would break it.
> I cared more about my science project than my social status and possibly getting a girlfriend.
> Everyone thought I was not only the geek and a spaz, but a big jerk who didn't share.

Looking back now I realize that must be what Reed Richard feels like all the time.
I didn't want to be cool, I actually had no interest in her. I wanted to be casual so I could warn her AND not make her feel embarrassed at what I thought was a wardrobe mishap.

I failed at both.
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Was Mami his waifu
i really want this to be true.
What am I reading?
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No. she is my waifu though.
feel good, Op, her type was losers.
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>Cow says "posterior" instead of "posterity"
>Find that clever
>Remember that bit when I'm about to say "posterity"
>Keep thinking "don't say posterior"
>Thinking that makes me say "posterior"
>early elementary, maybe 2nd or 3rd grade
>successful older sister so all the teachers and shit had high expectations
>one day my class's teacher leaves us in the hall to go into the office or some shit
>be in the back of the line
>all the other kids are turned away
>seems like a great time to practice my airbending
>start swooshing around and shit silently, feeling graceful and cool
>sudden hand on my shoulder
>“I didn't expect to see someone like you fooling around”
>it's the fucking principal
>hear laughing
>resist the urge to cry until I got home

I'm glad I moved a few years later and put that shit behind me.
>bully bullying bullied me
>decide to fight him and he laughs at me
>throws one punch at me and I doge it by luck
>punch him in the side of the head and knock him on the floor
>I start to kick him till he and his friends tell me to stop
>Idolized by my friends and classmates, seniors and the school let me get away with it
>He never bullied me again and and apologized at the end of HS
He is a pretty chill dude he was just a dick as a kid, that fight really boosted my self esteem tho
>waited for you to make a move
like playing a game of chess where both sides are black
Only manlets are attracted to me. I like being 5'9" typically, but meh. At least my height would be nice, it isn't a deal breaker, but it makes some difference.
>2nd grade
>ATLA is on
You have to be 18 to be on this board anon.
>built a hovercraft
Are you trying to tell us that you're Jimmy Neutron? Hovercrafts don't even fucking exist. You could've at least tried to make your lie believable.
I used to like how guys looked in movies, cartoons and anime chewing hay seeds or whatever, and I used to do it with regular grass.

For some reason, ended up liking the taste in my mouth.
Not him, but this makes me feel old
>Not wanting to dominate a cute manlet while pretending to be an Amazon.

What's wrong with you?
>hovercrafts don't even fucking exist

holy fuck are you seriously this retarded?
That's so weird innit?

The first girl who said she liked me was black and the first girl who I actually tried to go out with was black.
I did that too. I still don't know why people do that.
I dont have anything like that, but lots of situations where girls say they LOVE something and ends up being a lie.
LOL, holy shit you fucking suck. If you have a kid get a leaf blower and an inflatable mattress and you can make a hovercraft.
Its this clever science fair experiment for kids. Its not what you think. Its pretty common I saw it done at least 3 times when I was in school in the 90s
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>Hey /co/ remember what middle and high school was like: the thread.
Alright I'll give you guys the rest of the story since I think you guys might enjoy it.

>Party goes on and qt is a little disappointed in her present. (understandable)
>We decide to go out to the elementary school right by her house.
>open soccer field with no one around
>The girls are talking about their girl stuff as I walk by them trying to act like the coolest kid possible.
>The two girls who are friens with the qt girl look at me, and then eahother.
>they start to fucking book it back to the house
> I look at qt and sge looks at me
> "Why did they leave us alone qt 3.14?"
>"Because I asked them to"
>Oh shit shes into me!
>I get excited
>Too excited
>I look down and see the biggest boner my middle school eyes have ever seen.
>Thrust my hands into my pockets to try and hid it
> "Anon... Do you think.... We can hold hands?"
>At this point i have never achieved hand holding so i rally wanted it.
>"I uh.. uhh.. urmm. I'M ALLERGIC TO GRASS!"
>I bolt off towards her house, I dare not look behind me
>The two girls answer the door
> "Hehe how did it go anon~"
>" pfffft how did what go? I need to use the restroom"

>I go into the restroom and calm my pants party down.
>Literally a whole 10 minutes later qt finally comes back.
> She was super sad. I didnt even know what to do.

Some time later

>We all go to the movie theater after she cheers up.
> I feel horrible so i try to make it up to her by being a gentleman and letting them choose their seats first.
> I sit next to qt with her friends on the outside to sort of box us in.
> "Hey anon, You should hold pt's hand!"
> "Uhhh"
> "Yeah anon, hold her hand"
> She looks at me and gently grabs my hand
> I realize my hand is super sweaty so obviously yank my hand away.
> Oh god what have i done
> I look at her
> She looks at me
> her eyes begin to water
>Tears roll down her face, she begins to cry as her friends try to make her feel better

>I'm a normal human being today
No, Anon. If you were normal, you wouldn't have posted this horseshit.
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No, I'm saying that I figured out if you blow air through a garbage bag that's stapled onto a wooden shelf I can float off the ground.

Jesus I was already smarter than you before I hit middle school.
Holy shit, you suck.

I want to write a movie out of this. The Accidental Asshole.
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>day before valentines
>at work
>girl from high school is shopping
>I had only talked to her a few times but she considered me a friend apparently
>start talking
>she asks if I'm doing anything for valentines
>Asks if I want to do something
>We talk about possibilities
>She then starts talking about how she's getting divorced
>Even though she's 21
>Tells me her husband still bothers her
>She's looking for shirts
>Tells me her Dad burned her clothes, she mainly lives at her grandparents
Cute girl, nice hips, but way too many problems for me.

No comics or cartoons, sorry.
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It's mostly an issue of me being already pretty damn masculine and if I'm the taller person in that position I'll just start naturally taking on the man's role which would be strange. It's more about my issues than the manlet's.

Or I could just scream "SNU SNU!" and throw the little guy down every night with little resistance.
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>be 10 years old
>see the episode of DBZ on Toonami where Gohan teaches Videl how to fly
>attempt to fly while watching the episode
>"why isn't it working!?"
>try it on while standing on the edge of my bed
>tips over
>fall down like world trade center, slamming my face into the top of my tv
>scream "YOU LIED TO ME, GOHAN!!" while sobbing
>mother rushed into the room
>"what the hell is going on here?!"
>"GOHAN LIED TO ME!!!" tears running down my cheek
>Get grounded for being "a stupid little shit"
>freshmen in high school
>neighbor girl is a foreign exchange student
>she's going home, having a good-bye party
>qt girl from Algebra is there
>she's pretty and has huge fucking tits, they were like E cup or something, I don't remember. She wasn't even fat too she just had really huge tits
>Playing Apples to Apples
>Somehow topics of first kisses comes up
>I had never had mine yet, I was a pretty shy kid
>Neighbor hadn't had hers either
>qt friend decides to give me my first kiss
>she proceeds to kiss me multiple times the rest of the night, constantly tells me I'm cute
>party's over
>everyone's saying goodbye
>"I had a really nice time, anon"
>"I hope we can hang out sometime"
>I say sure
>We don't hang out until the summer before my junior year
>She tells me she had a crush on me after she gets a boyfriend
>I could be fucking a dime right now if I wasn't so blind

At least we became super close. She's one of my best friends to this day
>I am happily married
>went through awkward years like this in high school so...
>I know that feel
>have friend who this is still happening to

How do i get the mother fucker to see when this shit is happening?/ It's obvious to me when he has a shot with a girl, but he never takes it.
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Skinny, fit, and soft.
Kill me please.
> I feel horrible
> Maybe i should just leave, she obviously hates me now
> I stand up. Put my popcorn on my chair. And I just walk right out of that theater.
>something doesn't feel right.
> I think I'm being followed
> I turn and see my mom walk out of the same theater I was in
> "Oh anon... Were you in that theater too? huh thats weird!
> My mom took me straight home with the biggest smile on her face.

This single event is the one thing I would change if I can go back in time and do it all over... She went on to be super pretty and nice, but it never worked out between us.

And yes, my mom did intentionally go into the movie theater to spy on me.
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>scream "YOU LIED TO ME, GOHAN!!" while sobbing
>mother rushed into the room
>"what the hell is going on here?!"
>"GOHAN LIED TO ME!!!" tears running down my cheek
>Get grounded for being "a stupid little shit"
Buddy, that's just weird.
This has been GOAT thread. I never thought /co/ could have such a bonding moment.
Baller anon, baller
>This single event is the one thing I would change if I can go back in time and do it all over
to this:
God I'm shit at this website
>be me
>be highschool years
>lotsa girls who were friends who had boyfriends
>boyfriends be jelly their girls hung out with me all the time
>one threatens to kick my ass if I continue to hang with his girl
>hang anyways
>boyfriend pusses out
>thatswhatithought. jpg
>another friend that is girl has the cutest laugh, easy to make smile and hangs relentlessly
>boyfriend at other school
>openseason.gif not found
>respect instead, be the friend, just wanted to get the fuck outa highschool drama free
>graduation day, she's sitting behind me
>her name is called, put hand over shoulder as she walks past
>she takes and squeezes
>ten years later I still remember her laugh
>mfw I have no face
>In highschool asked out by a girl to the movies
>She tells me its no big deal and one of her friends is coming too
>Walk to the movies from my friends house, its only 2 miles
>Get in 5 minutes late and sit down between them
>all of my friends have been hyping me up for this date
>I sit down and start holding hands with the girl who asked me out and the other girl runs out crying
>she tells me she asked me out for her but now that we are holding hands she liked me too

She was the hotter one anyways so its all win.
I don't sound like Powerline anymore.
We're at our best when we don't talk about comics or cartoons.
I guess school had to share in some of the educational failure.
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I was hoping it would work out for you, I really was.

Maybe next time, Anon. ;_;7
>Or I could just scream "SNU SNU!" and throw the little guy down every night with little resistance

Oh god, this is a big fantasy of mine but I'm only 5 feet 3 inches which means most guys I meet are a lot bigger than me.
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i went from laughing to feeling again.

god dammit /co/.
>Threads asks about cartoons
>Your posts starts with "Not a cartoon"
Do you even reading comprehension?
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You wanted to not fuck it up so bad that you fucked it up.
It's like poetry
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>Be Sophomore
>Girl getting bullied in math class
>befriend her
>She's getting bullied and called ugly and I stand up and say "Don't listen to them you look just fine!"
This actually got me a girlfriend for a couple months but she turned out to be a terrible person and cheated on me.
You sound Asian?

Also sounds like you still got it man.
Bro... also i would hold my hand overmy mouth so it soundd like i was in a space suite.

Only at recess, not like this autist. Godda mn that was fucking weak.
2nd or 3rd grade? Avatar aired starting in 2005. At most you are 15 or 16, underage faggot.
>comic for the girl I have the biggest crush on.
>compilation of speech bubbles from her asking me what was wrong with me
>me telling her in one speech bubble how much I cared about her.
>She took it as if I was calling her a bitch and cried and didn't talk to me for 7 or so months
>I still am trying to tell her my feelings 5 years later.
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>memorizing every twenty-dollar word you hear in a cartoon and throwing them around, barely knowing what they mean,
yeah but it didnt teached you the word 'taught', so
>be 14, read and draw comics
>7th grade passing notes with girl I had a crush on
>Draw little doodles of us on notes
>kinda like avatars with speech bubbles
>she Impressed and tells me I'm talented and I should come over to her house to help with project
>fuck yes
>get haircut, new cologne
>go to her house
>in her room
>we work on project together, I draw a lot of the imagery on the poster for her
>her boyfriend comes over
>what the fuck
>crush crushed me

>spend the rest of middleschool drawing alone
>actually become pretty good

>now I draw for one the big two
Half Filipino/half Black
"Stacey" was Chinese, I think.
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From my perspective, dominating a bigger guy would be way more satisfying. So get some stilettos and have some fun.

I found the "just be yourself and everything will be okay" message to be confusing also. Whenever I acted like myself, nobody wanted to be around me.
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I had a similar experience, she was being called ugly and I stood up and loudly said "it's ok at least you aren't that ugly" and pointed to a girl that was minding her own business. Suddenly I'm a jerk and the girl I was defending hates me. Needless to say she immediately started crying and I was forced to apologize for bullying.
>tfw Calvin and Hobbes taught me so many words
8/10 Nice voice would trade singing voices with
Its ok anon, atleast you have a cool job.
May as well share this here. The last 3 girls i've wanted to date have all owned fionna the human cosplays. I have no idea why this is but it got me into thighs/thigh highs so its all good. On the flipside I only dated one of them, which was long distance and I got cucked.
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>>"GOHAN LIED TO ME!!!" tears running down my cheek
You're an idiot and deserved it.
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We had a nature area at our grade school where we would periodically have our PE class.

>Be 10
>be huge dinosaur and godzilla fan
>used to hold my arms down to my sides with my forearms in a 90 degree angle like godzilla's arms
>I would stomp around the forest actually roaring
>Other kids used to run from me screaming "oh no godzilla!"

I miss that reckless abandon I used to have
>6th grade
>valentine's day
>I was a humongous faggot back in the day with no idea of how NOT to come on strong
>get this girl I'm crushing on a fucking pink rose and a stuffed panda because she loves pandas
>leave it on hr desk before clas starts
>she seems flattered
>later finds out it was from me
>between classes hear from her friend (who was also qt as fuck and out of my league) that she has been crying in nthe bathroom for the past 5 minutes
>try to find out what was wrong, she won't talk to me
>ever again

To this day I don't know what the issue was. I guess she was daippointed? I felt like shit for a week or two.

>near end of school year
>former crush's friend (the qt that I thought out of my league--red hair, freckles, glasses, literally my idea of a 10/10 at my age) reveals she had a crush the whole year while in home ec class (I was a fag, sue me)
>all of us trying to guess who it is, she says it's someone in the current class
>she said she would say yes if we guessed right on clues
>guess things like "is he blonde, tall, short, etc.,"
>go through every fucking descriptor of every guy in the class I can think of,she says no to them all
>can't fathom who, guess he's yanking chains
>3 days later reveals to me that I was her crush
>am absolutely stunned
>cannot comprehend how someone like her could like somoene like me
>can't really talk but as I recall manage to stutter out some kind of "y-you too"
>she then says she just wanted me to know before she moves to another state

I guess it wouldn't have mattered in the long run since she moved but holy fuck I was so bummed for WEEKS.
damn son you need to rethink your life
Wow.. kinda like this black wonder woman. As a parody of course but muh dick
Did you live in a cartoon?
>>now I draw for one the big two
Nice, Cho I liked how you btfod all the tumblrites with the Harley Quinn picture.
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This can't be real.
At least tell us something you worked on
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Bro, you don't even touch convoluted. Let me share my "One that got away story"

>Senior year
>friend's qt brown sugary skin sister is a freshman, let calls her Jam
>She's really fucking cool, would parkour with her and the buddies at night
>she's into cartoons, anime, weird shit, webcomics, and hardcore cosplayer.
>She'd talk about her bf, Rod, sometimes, I'd give advice, eventually she broke it with him
>be thinking "Man, I could never get a girl like that."
>Ask her to homecoming anyways
>doesn't say anything she gives me a cute puzzled look "sooo is that a yes?" says mhmm
>apparently she had a crush on me and everything was the best it ever could
>don't have to chase dumb romances with shallow girls anymore
>feeling like this year is gonna be the best outta my highschool years
>on top of it all I stopped fapping even, just didn't care so much since I had a gf
>for her birthday I rounded up the jazz band to play a song I wrote her, as we barged into her spanish class, me singing and dance my way to her with a rose in my hand
>"Awwwww yeeah, I'm soo fucking cool. She's mine forever now"
>after homecoming dance Jam dumps me
>not into me anymore basically. She'd dressed up the words in lady language to be easy on me.
>wait a week til I confess some sappy fucking stuff on her porch
>takes me back
>lasts a week
>Eventually she asks her Ex if they could get back together
>me and Rod are total bros, weird little fucker but he was just like me. Just liked acting silly.
>Couldn't make drama or anything had to act like this was a good thing and I was happy for them
>But really my life is shirt
>see them cuddling everyday a beggining of band class
>Band was first class of day and included all types of classmen
>See them canoodlin in art club
>Art club was me and "the guys" hang out, art teacher was based and selectively bro-tier with students
>Pretty much would see them everywhere that wasn't my senior classes

1/2 wait theres more
>girl could have had Steve Lieber's cock in her mouth
kek dumb bitch
I know, at least I made new friends with the bullies, they thought I was being funny.
My boyfriend is an even 6 feet and I feel like a midget standing next to him. I try sometimes to be dominating but he just laughs it off and tells me I'm being cute. ;_;
>tfw only really attracted to black women
i just had to tell someone

Title speaks for itself. I was in 2nd grade probably.

It was nine years ago, anon.

Nine years.
>yfw you realize your mom sabotaged you so she could keep her baby to herself
did you /ss/?
Sometimes I felt like a did.

>Principal announces a local theater is doing a rendition of Peter Pan for us.
>She does this by getting the lead actor to fly in like Peter Pan, through a harness operated by the school's handyman who was pushing 70's way back then.
>As expected, Peter Pan's somersault from a balcony is too much and handyman loses his grip.
>Peter falls to the floor, nothing too high, but clearly sprains his ankle.
>Pro that he is, he gives him "hey, kids, this will be an awesome ride monologue" while holding back tears.
>Limps away after announcement. Thinks we haven't noticed, but we did.
>During performance, another dude is playing Peter and the Fallen Peter is in the audience with his foot in a cast.
Maybe because you suck
It's honestly some really shitty idealistic advice. You can be yourself but there is a minimum required amount of conformity before people will find it acceptable.
Y-You know you were just supposed to lip-sync, right?
Oh god it's too much.
>Jam starts ignoring me because I activated her trigger card.
>eventually told her to fuck off, she's a shit friend anyways who stirs drama
>soon enough she dumps Rod again
>Me and Rod become best fucking buddies
>hang all the time now and cry over betamax depression
>Help eachother win over Jam throughout the highschool year

>several schemes later
>Get into homestuck to pander to Jam's interests
>Act like a dick to Jam to imitate black relationshit
>my logic was "she was already cold to me, whats the worst that can happen"
>friendship rekindles
>wtf this can't be working
>soon I'm in friends with benefit deal with Jam
>would sometimes RP as karkat and terezi with eachother
>Can't put my dick in jam because her stepfather is military grade cock block
>End the whole thing when he threatens restraining order
>Welp, thems the brakes, might as well go in style
>tell Jam's Mom she's a controlling bitch and tell the step dad that he came too late to raise them. "At the very best you can be that cool guy fucking my mom."
>superunaway cuz good chance step daddy's gonna crush my face in
>make it out alive
>feels good

Since then Jam became a tumblr lesbian (not even joking), moved to a shitty school in a shitty part of the county with barely any friends and still draws shitty homestuck fanart. Only thing I regret is that she got me into the dumb comic and it's still not finished yet. Me and Rod are still hella best friends. but I'm still a virgin :(

Yeah, anime taught me that if you try your absolute hardest and are total creep about it. Also HS played an integral part in making it a hate/love deal. I know I was being an autistic, but Jam had her fair share of autism too. She made crossover fanfiction of her relationships and had the drawing skills of a twelve year old. Would often make stuff with a "deep meaning"/homestuck thing to it. holy shit, glad highschool's over.
You beta fuck
>To this day I don't know what the issue was.
Little girls can not handle pressure of any kind.
Damn son, your mom's a really salty woman.
>freshman year of high school
>talking to friend at cartooning club
>two qts sit next to us
>think back to all of those shows where they have guys hitting on girls
>ask what two such pretty ladies are doing here
>they get offended
>look over at friend, he gives a shrug
>ask what did i do
>the qtest one tells me shes nonbinary, and the other girl is trans
>despite looking nothing like someone who would be like that
>dont know what nonbinary means but know what trans means
>just go with it after they leave
No surprise that I found out that they love Homestuck and Steven Universe but can't stand Gravity Falls.
More like his mom wanted something salty.
You should be 8 in 2/3rd grade. 8+10=18
....Carnageman, is that you?
1. This is fake as fuck.

2. If it weren't, you would not be old enough to post here.
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>8th grade
>hormones are really fucking kicking in, recently picked up the fine art of fapping
>fapping so much probably fucked my hormones up, probably fucked from the start
>also I'm socially inept, this is very important

>1st day, end up sitting next to someone I never met before in English
>she's a qt
>Anon's barely dropped balls: "anon we need this"
>Mission accepted, balls
>"but wait anon we don't know how to attract vaginas"
>Don't worry balls I've got this, I've watched a lot of cartoons in my life.

>A week into school start trying to flirt
>it doesn't go well
>Tell her I looked up how to flirt on Youtube before school (not true, I was blazing my own trails)
>Remember that in cartoons girls do a meow and a kawaii catlike motion with their hand
>Decide this is just a universal sign of love
>Do it to her every time she walks past
>Pubescent voice cracks every time, sounds like a dying ocelot

>Remember that in cartoons girls like chocolates
>Ask my mom for more chocolates in my lunch
>Don't eat them, toss them onto her table as I take my trash up
>Throw in a dying ocelot, she's clearly digging that.
>I'm fucking nailing this, balls.
>Her friends are telling me to stop because they're jealous, just like in that one cartoon I probably saw one time

>Join track because she does track
>Maybe if I can impress her with athletic mastery she'll finally see the light
>Turns out I suck at running
>Run like 7 minute miles on a good day
>Doesn't matter, she's falling for me.
>Do the meow when I run past her, of course
>Can't let her forget.

>Her friends finally have enough, decide to make this go nuclear
>After spending literally all year sexually harassing their friend, Stacy One through Stacy Five orchestrate the killing blow
>During track, they begin their rousing chorus:
>Orchestrate it so that it sounds like the crowd is chanting it
>Pretty soon the crowd is chanting it
>Realize in that moment that you shouldn't copy cartoons
My dad was the same way about anime. Your post just made me realize something.
>dad frowns on anime
>thinks its mostly porn
>probably thinks this because the most exposure he's had is seeing it when he is browsing porn
>Me, child, completely unaware of all this doesn't understand
Nigga, you got the right amount of Powerline in your voice.
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>more where that came from
The last part was something I only found out over the past year.
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>4 years old
>had a bunk bed
>loved Batman at the time
>had all the toys and shit
>put a towel around my neck and hold it out with my arms
>jump from the top bunk thinking I can glide
>fall and sprain my ankle like a dumbass
Day in the life of every 4 year old.

No shame in it.
My gf jumped off her roof with an umbrella thinking she can fly too. No shame.
Yes, I also enjoy this blog.
dude, what the fuck?
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>this entire story
See >>71095364
>9 or so years old
>home alone
>decide that now is the time to ascend to a Super Saiyan
>crouch down, fists clenched, and start yelling
>I'm yelling so loud, and straining so hard that I let out a loud-ass fart
>I hear a loud thump, followed by gales of laughter
>turn around to see my sisters on the floor, laughing their asses off
>my grandma's there too, shaking her head
>I die inside

I still get flak for it.
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dude, yeah, what fuck. That is some really weird shit anon, it's almost poetic.
Wow, rude

That very summer, before she got her boyfriend, I got to see and grope her tits. And she made out with me because I lost to her in Mario Kart.I lost on purpose just so I could make out with her

Never got that amazing pussy game tho
More /v/ related, but

>1st or second grade
>super in Harvest Moon
>nobody else knows what the fuck it is
>boy has a crush on me
>kind of like him in stupid kid way
>he asks me on top of the jungle gym to marry him
>ask him where my blue feather is
>slap him
>"ask me the real way!"

The principal didn't understand and my parents were so concerned. To be honest, I'm pretty sure Harvest Moon fucked me up on a lot of adult coping.

>All your work and chores done at 3 PM? SLEEP TILL THE NEXT DAY
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Huh, might be the same reason here too.

My dad let me watch anime and do other stuff alone after the whole Madoka incident.

When rebellion came out, we watched it together. It wasn't a good idea.
He began to start an argument that basically was Homura>>>>>everyone else.
To this very day he still tries to shove that opinion down my throat.

God...Damn it.

similar shit happened to me about a year ago, been bitter ever since.
Well I mean, if the nigga didn't bring you the feather, he deserved it.
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>he asks me on top of the jungle gym to marry him
>ask him where my blue feather is
>slap him
>"ask me the real way!"
that's adorable AND fucking hilarious.
You may need to smack him around a little. I mean, after he ducks for you to reach him.
I'm sure his phase in the 6th grade was probably more appealing than your lifetime of fedoras and cargo shorts so
I used to do the same dumb shit but with dinosaurs.
Show your dad /a/.
What him pretend he doesn't already post there.
brother tried to fly downstairs like he was superman

>shot down a Blasian boy

Ah well she didn't deserve you anyway.
And was probably racist.
I formed a "Justice League" with my friends when I was 7 every one had "original" powers and we just did dumb shit and fight between us using said powers
I had ice powers.
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I wish I knew, anons. I really wish I knew.
My brain shuts down every time I try to comprehend this shit.
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Still could have tapped that, dude. You missed your chance
List the powers for science, please.
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>anon indirectly turns his dad into an otaku
Yeah, don't start with that unless she was REALLY REALLY into it and is still into it today.

I guess you could bring something else up during that time as a icebreaker though, "Hey, do you remember that time..." Something to wax nostalgia over, ya know.
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>someone made fun of the bands he liked
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>no Dad, I don't watch Love Live, now leave me alone!
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Awesome, you're dating Hank Venture?
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I feel you, anon.
You're not alone.
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>7th grade
>have a crush on girl I'm friends with
>one of my friends decides to tell her immediately after I say who I like
>start freaking the fuck out
>this was at lunch
>when lunch lets out I see her in the hallway
>she's walking with her group of friends talking to each other
>stammer out "H-Hi"
>they're silent for a second and then burst out laughing
>they walk away

Bad times.
fuck from the top of my head
>big powerful hands, not a huge monsters but he could transforms his hands for strength because Hulk was an ugly shit
>Tail that could paralize
>power to shoot neddles from fingers
>turbo on elbows to punch harder and faster and in feet to fly
>lazer beem from eyes and finger, don't know why he added a limit that he could only fire 7 at the same time

We were 12 I believe, we were kids.
She even has an outfit just fucking like that. She was copying mary poppins but this makes too much sense.
That is ridiculously cute. I started and ended my flirtatious phase at 4. I would play Ghostbusters everyday so the love of my life would notice me. And everyday they made me play the secretary and I'd rage.
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You know i can already imagine him shitposting on every Madoka thread.

Would read this ongoing.
Bitches are dumb like that. I had two great friends suddenly ostracize me and treat me like trash in junior high. One of them randomly apologized to me on the very last day of school about it all being a huge misunderstanding and I was like "I STILL HAVE NO IDEA WTF THIS IS EVEN ABOUT!" Bitches be crazy.
>lazer beem from eyes and finger, don't know why he added a limit that he could only fire 7 at the same time
also his "most powerful technique" was shooting the energy of said 7 fingers from 2 but they were his middle fingers and got in trouble from it.

I STILL want to be proposed to with a blue feather. There's no way to explain that to people normally, though

>Emulate a farming simulator for me
>What the fuck do you mean you got me a ring
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It sounds lovely and all

But I can't help imagining you singing the song in that fashion


You guys know it's probably what happened
I skipped school and sold drugs.
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Thanks bro, feels good.

>pic related
My dad just started telling he's been watching anime since I was born. He started with shit like gigantor and has watched basically everything I have and we never talked about it. He was watching Goku kill Friza while I was watching Goku run snake road.
Damn that's cool.
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>"Ask me the real way!"
That's actually pretty adorable
Good call, anon. It's a wise man who can spot the red flags in spite of his libido.
Are you sure your principal wasn't Dean Pelton?
>that mlp calender in the back of his room
I have the same one..
And people are usually seven when they're in second grade.
Just say it to the person you're with, if marriage is on the table.
>Don't get me a ring, I don't want that garbage
>bring me the biggest, baddest, most beautiful blue feather you can find
>if it's good enough, I'm yours
I know I would relish a quest like that.
>Senior at high school. 18.
>There's an area designated for xerox.
>Go there one day.
>A qt girl works there. She's 19. Just graduated from the same school.
>We catch up about school and she says she's working where while she preps up for college.
>She's so attractive, and I know I have zero shots, so I just go for a suicide maneuver.
>"So you'll be here for a while?"
>"Yeah, sure".
>"Cool, gives me a reason to come back".
>She smiles and says "I'll be waiting".
>Holy shit, she didn't turn me down.
>Strut out feeling alpha as fuck.
>Realize I have no idea how to further woo her.
>Never return in fear of ruining that nice little moment.
>She's in college now. Never saw her again.
I never cared, really.
Damn, dude.
You were in there.
I was going to forge a ring for my gf but fuck that, im getting her a blue feather and if she doesn't accept it too bad
See >>71095364
dude, what the hell are you doing? can anyone fuck up this bad?
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This isn't a school thing, but it's a good memory.

>For most of the original airing of BTAS, my dad got off shift just as the show would air in the afternoon
>We'd watch it together and my dad was pretty impressed with the show because he can't be bothered to watch a lot of stuff
>We get to the first ninja episode and both of us geek out over it (raised on Bruce Lee movies and other Asian films)
>Maybe a week later, dad gets home, and I find him hiding behind a couch
>He says "better watch out" and flings something at me
>It's a plastic ninja star
>Notice half a set of ninja toys on the ground
>We spend a half hour haphazardly hurling fake ninja weapons at each other

My dad doesn't go out of his way to do stuff like this ever, so this sticks out in my memory. 95% of our bonding situations are just watching shit on tv together otherwise, questionable content or what have you.
Makes me wish I had a father growing up.

That's a good memory, Anon.
Do people just fucking own dollies?
I definitely notice the similarities. Another

>Computer room has two windows.
>Principal decides to install an air-conditioner.
>The room has to be retrofit for it, so it is positioned above a window. The harness it is put on prevents the window from being opened.
>Eventually, it malfunctions.
>Principal, not aware of the conditions in which the air-conditioner was installed, decides to open the windows to prevent the computers from overheating.
>Forces the window open and damages the rig, causing the fuckhuge air-conditioner to dangle precaciously from the third store.
>School staff has to set up an air mattress to salvage it.

So you are black, huh?

Tell me you did it doing the Carlton dance
I sang this in front of my entire school for a talent show. I'm a guy and did not change any of the lyrics.
For the longest time, I thought "Madam Fortress Mommy" was a good insult.

Underrated post.
>4th grade
>Really small school in a small village
>30 students top
>Best friend with a guy 1 year older and his little sister 1 year younger
>Had a crush on her
>One day at school she tell another girl she has a crush on someone
>Somehow everyone learn that in 5 minutes
>Everyone manage to learn who it is from someone else except me
>She admit it to me
>For some reason I think we're too young and a relationship at out age will end before mariage for sure
>Don't act on it to protect our future


Just... ouch.

Hm. Back in high school I got a note that was allegedly from a girl. Opened, scanned it, saw tthat it was a heartfelt message from some girl pouring her heart out to me.

I assumed it was a prank so I threw it away.

Got another one a few weeks later, barely scanned it this time before chucking it.

To this day I still wonder if they were real...
Jesus fucking christ Boco...
The school I teach at is full of fuckups, but I wish it was this entertaining.
Bloody hell.