/ck/ humor

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>>9427080
cheese for me

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>>9427080

>>9427941
But potatoes rice beans and fruits actually make you more hungry in a shorter time frame. The stomach doesn't have to literally be full to feel full. Fats keep you much fuller for much longer than vegan carbohydrates.

>>9427471
jej

>>9427975
of course its baseless vegan propaganda. You cannot believe the shit they put in these images

>>9427941
Is bone hurting juice alcohol? I know my knees hurt. Must be it.

>>9427342
Those are cherries

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>>9427068

>>9427941
>500 calories
Nigga we trying to get swole. I drink 500 kcal to accompany opost workout meal

>>9427099
this dumb bitch and her cuck boyfriend don't deserve that soggy pile of shit anyway. Great pic

>>9428116
I thought it was a trap cuz moustache lip.

>>9428039
ouch owie

>>9428039
Nah, alcohol usually affects the brain more. For example see >>9428039

>>9427078
what cartoon?

>>9429415
I think it's "The Simpsons".

>>9429415
Rick and morty

>>9429426
Hi r*ddit

>>9427217
to the folder you go

>>9427413
this person has transcendental thinking

>>9429773
really stretches my sarcophagus

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>>9429729
delet

>>9429740
Hahahaha I remember this.

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>>9429937

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>>9429937

>>9429725
Lost at the Crispy Prince Albert

>>9429729
That was called lunch when i was a kid

>>9429760
Don't do this is makes mustard gas

>>9429937
y tho

>>9430099
is this meme from 2008 when 'hipsters are hipsters' was a funny joke

>>9430020
if they think nitroglycerin makes banana cookies they deserve to get mustard gassed

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>>9430658
kek

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>>9428061
wouldn't you be angry if you got DISGUSTING bing cherries instead of GOD TIER cherry tomatoes?

you know the old saying: boil 'em, roast 'em, mash 'em, put 'em in a stew. TOMATOES!

i mean, whom'st've us hasn't been pissed off by accidentally getting a fruit instead of tomatoes? if you can't comprehend that, neck yourself, mate.

>>9429942
Story?

Anyone have that screencap of the guy going on a rant about how nobody actually likes dark chocolate? It triggers the fuck out of my buddy but I can't ever find it

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>>9427132
>Candy that is green

>>9430209
I kinda giggled at this

>>9429937
why do i find this weirdly hot?

>>9431329
You are a heterosexual male

I'm sorry there is no cure

>>9429484
you're not very clever are you.

>>9430020
It doesn't make mustard gas you retard. Do you know what nitroglycerin is?

>>9431437
It's a joke hombre, calm down.

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>>9431437
don't be dumb pls

>>9431492
>Please do not throw trash here

>>9427342
got me

>>9429760
Don't do this it makes mustard gas

Anyone got one with the guy that got drunk and tried to make caramel by cooking a can of evaporated milk on the stovetop?

>>9431759
Keksimus maximus
This is unimaginable

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>>9431887
Nevermind, found it.

https://warosu.org/ck/thread/S9339426

>>9431759
"Holy Jesus."
"What is is that?"
"What the FUCK IS THAT?"
*WHAT IS IT PRIVATE PYLE?"
"Sir, it's a jelly donut."

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>>9430715

I was wondering when someone would make this.

>>9431857

Nice electrodes.

>>9429459
>That faggot trying to derail a good argument with his fucking sharks
Never be that guy, /ck/.

>>9431759
>enjoy

Cooking with hoarders:

https://youtu.be/rdnQ0nO3AcY

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>>9432140
Mother of god.

>>9431857
Mr. Wizard would be proud....

>>9432140
oh god this takes me back

>>9432140
omg i couldnt stop laughing at the end

>>9427068
>>9427413
Is this copied from a viz comic?

>>9431784
Bukkake isn't a sexual word when it cums to food

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>>9428845

>>9430745
Well, that was one of the most pointless rants I have ever seen.

>>9431404
Those are cherries.

>>9431404
that's a gecko tho

>>9432393
Fuckin lol

>>9432379
oh weird did it originate with food then? kinda like cream pie?

>>9431437
Yeah. It's a component of mustard gas.

>>9431437
Do you really think medical nitro is explosive?

>>9429937
but why

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>>9431857
I remember that episode

>>9432410
it just means "splashed".

>>9432410
It means splash

>>9432487
>>9432490
To quote Oxford dictionary:
>Origin
>Japanese, literally ‘act of splashing’, also the name of a noodle dish.

>>9431766
This guy has life figured out.

>>9430167
What happend to that furfag anyway?

Does anyone have the Chicken cooked in a water melon?

>>9429740
This is not funny at all. Maybe she was preparing a delicious, hot meal for her hard-working husband who was just returning home after a long shift, and then BAM! she dropped everything. That shit is pretty depressing.

>>9431769
Pictures like this make me wish I lived in the big city.

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>>9432677
I do not, but have chicken noodle soup being cooked in a watermelon in lieu.

>>9429391
Is this fake? Like at 6' 250 is obease but it certianly isn't that crazy overweight were you can't walk around a store.

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>>9429838
I'll never get over the dead mouse carcass on the hot dogs and the mayo tapeworm.

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>>9431763
>IF YOU USE PRE GRATED YOUR BULLY WAS RIGHT

>>9427413
>eating a much smaller piece of extra mature cheese

Honestly excellent advice. You use less cheese yet get a greater degree of flavour. Economical and healthy.

>>9432737
He didn't say he was 250 lbs, he said 250 lbs overweight. So he's probably around 350 - 400 lbs

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>Anon does a cookalong thread

>>9431899
Imagine letting alcohol control your life like this. If the kitchen caught on fire, this idiot would've suffocated and burned with nary a care.

>>9429749
The person who made this was tripping on acid hard. I can see how this totally makes sense.

>>9431763
This had to have been bait. Not because of the obvious autism (God knows there's no shortage of than on this site), but why would he taunt his brother's kid like that unless he wanted to be an asshole?

>>9432015
How does this happen?

>>9432741
>dead mouse carcass
So that's what that is. I thought it was some canned fish or something.

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>>9431857
>>9431866
>>9431870
>Somewhere out there is a guy keeping literal stale memes on display, just rotting away in a corner of his house

>>9428039
>bone hurting juiceI'm not big in chemistry, but I suppose lactic acid would be an alcohol since it ends with a hydroxyl group

>>9432771
I laughed way too long at this.

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hey /ck/ I made this and thought you might like it

>>9432860
Needs work.

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>>9432870
too late!

>>9432872
ok

blast techno

>>9432860
I don't get it

>>9432891
It's the sun god Ra and he is sad because he has bad ramen so he feels ra man. Or something. I don't know, who cares.

>>9432900
Oh ok that's kind of clever, you should have that as the filename then

>>9432721

Or more likely she tried cooking for the first time in a long time because she remembered hating it. She was struggling to do basic things because she was retarded, and then she dropped a spoon or something mild. This caused her to say "fuck it", throw a tantrum and throw everything on the floor because cooking is too hard and she can't adult today.

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>>9432912
here ya go

>>9432140
He still uploads videos.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HPAofDfrW10

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>>9433232

>>9432921
unreadable. add spaces dumbass

>>9433236
lord skipper

>>9433236
>Mister Clean
I don't think you should be drinking that stuff....

>>9432838
there was a small problem with the hall of fame and i think a possum ate half of it

>>9433236
daddy cool
i'm okay with this!

>>9431759
I can hear it now: 'killll me...'

>>9433260
Now you have a reason to rebuild it.

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>>9433280
This is all that is left. I feed the possum the fruit and cheese platter and i guess he came back for the rest of it.

>>9429937
is she single?

>>9432460
Does he really think that microwaving explosive nitroglycerine will cause it to detonate?

>>9432831
over-cooking and under-stirring

>>9432838
Most of these memes are new to me. THatk you everyone for sharing a bit of /ck/ history with this newfag.

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>>9427068

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>>9433462

>>9433236
>Daddy Strong
That's actually what my sub calls me.

>>9433477
>Sea Bass
>Hold the chili
UGH. Plebs.

>>9433236
>daddy taste
this brings back unpleasant memories

>>9431781
i bought this the other day.
>it tastes bad
now you know

>>9433477

I bet the one guy who ordered the medium well got tons of ribbing and felt like a special foodie snowflake among his friends

>>9433236
daddy pop

>>9433236
>Uncle Peeper
Why is this can of soda so insistent that I shower with the door open?

>>9433560
>uncle pappy
Dangit cletus.

>>9431857

So this is what they mean when they say a picture is worth a thousand words

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>>9429740
Looks to me as though this fatty boombatty, chunky monkey wobbleslob, blubbernaut porkplanet fat-fetishist has had enough dinner anyway. Serves the cunt right, probably tripped over one of her chins.

>>9433236
dr pepper is a knock off of mr.pibb retard

>>9432920
Who hurt you?

>>9427413
the rhubarb one was the one that got me. fucking rhubarb is celery as a fruit

is rhubarb a fruit tho?

>>9433669
Rhubarb is a mineral.

>>9433469
Haha white people

>>9433695
>America
>"""""""""""""White"""""""""""

>>9433695
>Global rule 3
>You will not post any of the following outside of /b/: [...] racism

>>9433672
are you trolling me right now? how is a stalk of rhubarb itself only a mineral?

its fruit like if anything

>>9433633
once you pay your taxes you can get back to insulting fat birds, Jimmy.

>>9433708
if rhubarb is a fruit, so too is your father.

>>9433362
>dumb whore demeaning herself on camera by deep throating a full stick of butter to impress three people in the room for five minutes

What do you think?

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>>9431857
I let 230V run through wienerwurst during my physics lessons to show my students the dangers of electricity.

The sausage shouldn't burst in flames, but start to glow orange at one end while starting to get cooked (and charred). The orange glow is caused by the sodium in it. The effect is even more spectacular with pickles:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2vNeMeniYWY

My students love that shit - except for the smell afterwards.

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>>9433711
rhubarb is considered a fruit culinarily, though not botanically

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Who here likes cats

>>9433477
>how to spot a black diversity hire taking his family out to dinner

Comped food? Check
Burnt expensive food? Check
Tyrone's white girlfriend getting fish? Check

>>9433735
>not botanically
this is what I was getting at, with a somewhat flawed argument, since anons father dies seem to like dicks, for that is the only explanation he turned out so faggy.

>>9433695
It's literally a bay leaf you stupid cunt. Chick isn't in the wrong for expecting Paco to take a leathery bay leaf out of her food while preparing it.

>>9433723
Is something bothering you?

>>9430127
No that's just how most millennials are nowadays

>>9433763
t. time warp shut-in who thinks it's 2008

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>>9427408
>But baking soda is acidic.

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>>9433241

>>9432353
this is one of the best scenes in all of the simpsons

This is too much

https://youtu.be/XNJMQz2ggK8

>>9433822
>throwing away food

degenerate

>>9433805
This is better

>>9431766
You know it's real when it's stranger than fiction ever could be.

>>9433236
prince refreshing

>>9431781
They should replace the Statue of Library with one of these so every one knows they're getting into

>>9433968
Dr Perfect here.

It'll do I suppose.

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>>9433236
>tfw Prince Perfect

>>9432872
>doesn't title his files
>wonders where it goes in a month

>>9429749
my favorite is the "u-pick pond kings"
I've seen it a hundred times, and I still have a hearty laugh every time.

>>9433236
lord fizz

>>9429415
Family Guy

>>9429954
What the hell is this

>>9434098
Looks like Secretary of State Rex Tillerson on a grocery run

>>9429749
Big fan of Night Loaf. Anyone who hasn't tried it is a colossal faggot.

>>9429725
Subway employee, made my fucking life with the clean up sandwich

>>9433236
>Sir FIzz

Okay

>>9433232
Also fuck your square Perky should be CN, Bob LE and Extreme CE

>>9433236
dfsghdfhg

>>9433236
>Senator Hit
Not bad

>>9429725
When I worked at McDonalds as a kid we actually made Chicken Mcflurry, it was tolerable. We made everything into a McFlurry when we were bored.

>>9433236
Doc Peeper

Wow that was better then id thought it to be

>>9428132
Nope. Dirty bitch with hormone imbalance.

>>9429805
A punch to the sarcophagus is the best defense against sexual assault.

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>>9433236

>>9429749
Tfw no chicken silk

>>9433633
hilarious!! you're a riot!

>>9433236
>Lord Popper
Bow down bitches

>>9434562
>null set
Umm sweetie that's ontologically wrong.

>>9434791
Kek

>>9430099
Waaaaah, baby wants a Zima

>>9431793
ay lmao someone screenshot the thread. I was the water guy. so proud

>>9433633
For what purpose?

>>9434791
My sides are like this guy's oreos.
Gone.

>>9431793
>the nigger of the water family

>>9433236

>Baron Spice

hell yeah.

>>9433264
(She's crazy like a fool)

>>9433469
Haha and she already ate half!

DESU I like chewing on them when I'm done using them in cooking

>>9432838
>This stupid fucking faggot just sits there everyday and gives me that stupid faggot look

>>9429772
>>9427217
sauce?

>>9432836

Its really cheap and shitty canned tuna.

>>9435593
Someone explain this to me

>>9436220

Recipe called for 2 and 1/4 cups of flour, the dude just filled his 1/4 cup measuring utensil twice.

>>9432388
>>9432393
/ck/'s best detectives on the case

>>9436220
he only used half a cup of flour when he should've been using 2 and a 1/4th cups.

>>9436039
looks to be 4chan.org

>>9431777
They tried

>>9433227
nice

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>>9436232
Thanks!

>>9433236
Duke Cola. Hmm...

>>9433640
No it's not.

>>9434840
>>>/sci/

>>9429937
Is this what they make you do when you apply for an American citizenship?

>>9433236
roll

>>9436944
that's not how that works

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Probably already in the thread, but this genius deserves a special mention.

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The more you know…

>>9437356
hmmmmmmmmmm

https://youtu.be/emnivGqA2po
Lost against capitalism

>>9437356
WTF is THAT?

>>9437373
Not a lacto ferment.
What she's described is specifically a yeast ferment. Lacto fermentation requires lactobacillius cultures. Any chick who has a lacto culture in her cunt would smell like bad cheese every time she opened her legs.

Most women maintain a high enough standard of hygiene that they can't actually make cooch fermentation happen.

>>9434791
>grocery store
>hosting an open mic
im dying

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>>9433974
>Statue of Library
>Library

>>9437450
I don't know. I'm just an obsessed European, and I found this humourous, since it fullfills all the cliches.

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>>9437356
>Natural! Fresh roasted peanut """"""""flavor"""""""""
>It's an actual substance named "natural roasted peanut flavor"
>CALORIE FREE!
>"contains trace calories"
>trace calories
Fucking america.

>>9437580
OBSESSED

>>9437584
OBSESSED

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There is only one thing that helps against obsessions: An exorcism.

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>>9433236
>Prince Strong

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>>9433724
>someone on 4chan is allowed to show his "electric pickle," around children

>>9433805
holy kek

>>9430658
wsgy?

>>9436220

The guy read "2 1/4 cup" as "2 * 1/4 cup".

>>9431437
Holly shit! Where the fuck do you people come from?

>>9427413
This is Viz top tips.

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>>9437755
hello
yes, I did start this thread

>>9431777
Imagine the glee on the children's faces when it British food day!

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>>9437918
>british food day

>>9433236
>Master Spirit

>>9433236
>Master Perfect
Seems a bit redundant...

>>9433703
>Saying laughing at White people not understand Hispanic food is racist

I bet you commonly break this rule but when someone say anything about whites u quote it

>>9438036
>implying that ingredient is exclusive to "hispanic" food
Racist.

>>9433469
p sure they said this was the bay leaf they use in their rice

>>9429729
>toiler paper

>>9429740
I want a cat just like that.

What race is it? Look like it can either be a Turkish Angora or a Maine Coon.

>>9437925
It's not that bad actually, better than nothing and can be made for cheap.

Not everything needs to be covered in bacon anon

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>>9437918
Fish heads cake, what every kid likes the most!

>>9438069
I'm not just that bitch found it in “Hispanic" (if you could even call Chipotle that) food

>>9438112
Thats not British it's Scottish

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>>9434637

>>9438107
It's fucking plain bread. Yes it's that bad.

>>9434840
>reddit

>>9438147
No it's Cornish

>>9438227
You will never hear anyone say this on 4chan
But yeah it appears you are correct and I was wrong
I just assumed it was Scottish cos iv only seen it here and never in England

>>9438170
No, it's made with butter, salz and pepper.

>>9437580
England has the same laws regarding the sale of low calorie foods as "zero calorie". the soda tab and the sweetener splenda are primary examples.

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>>9433236
>Doc Radical
meme: ascended

>>9432353
I've done this. Didn't even feel sick after.