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Hey /ck/, I got into some trouble. My housemates are throwing

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Hey /ck/, I got into some trouble. My housemates are throwing a gathering tomorrow and I offered to bake a pie, yet I have no experience. Got any tips?
you're so fucked dude
Game over man, exit bag time.
It's easy enough to bake a graham cracker/cookie crust pie. Blend or smash the cookies, add melted butter, sugar, bake 10 minutes to set, and set aside to cool. Make 2 at once, of course. I also suggest buying a 2pack of pyrex pie pans.

Then pick one, from key lime pie to black bottom chocolate pudding pie to banofee to coconut custard to peanut butter, or make your two pies different. Pour into cooled crust, refrigerate, and serve with some cool whip or whipped cream. People like squirting out of the cans themselves which is good event for a party. If you make key lime, buy the bag of limes to squeeze, and add lots of zest. This pie can be frozen ahead and is best right out of the freezer.

I wouldn't make my own piecrust for a first time pie. But, a single pie crust pie isn't that hard with the roll out dough. The frozen shells in pans can also be used. Just fill them up with some awesome fresh fruit and spices and top with a crumble topping. Peaches, apple (use tart), berries or dried fruit thrown in too. An alternative for crowds is to skip the pies entirely and make a 9 x 11 "buckle" or other crumble topping baked fruit idea.
Get a store bought one and bash it around a bit before cooking it in an oven with the door slightly open (will make it cook unevenly) to make it look home made. For bonus points: pick an ingredient off the back and add extra to fuck up the flavor.
Bake two pies: one to figure out what the hell you're doing and the other to actually bring to the gathering.

Never bring an untested dish to a potluck, Phyllis.
Do you have a food processor? Making pie crusts is very easy if you have a food processor. Make sure to keep the butter very cold and add to it ice water, not cold water from the tap.

Or just buy premade crusts from the store, those are pretty good too. The flavor cant compare to all-butter pie crusts you make yourself though.
This. But I can't overemphasize be sure not to add too much ice water. That's a failing new pie crust bakers invariably have because it seems drier than it should be at first.

Martha Stewart has an excellent food processor basic pie dough recipe online.
Thank you so much.

This. Baking pie is difficult, and you probably won't be able to make a presentable pie by tomorrow.
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LOL, no it isn't.

Pie fillings are easy to make. The most involving part, and it isn't that hard, is making the crust. Use a store bought crust and pie is dead simple.

Shhhhhhut up
99% of people aren't able to distinguish/care enough to distinguish a store bought pie with a home baked one. Do you really think anyone is going to give enough of a shit to call you out?
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>Buy frozen pre-made deep dish pie crusts
>Buy can of Pumpkin
>Read back of can
>Buy anything else on the recipe on the can you don't have
>Follow basic instructions
>Make basic pumpkin pie for all the basic white people at your party.

You're welcome.
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>basic white people

Do you know hes white because hes making something homemade? Niggers don't really make homemade food unless you count adding sugar and water to grape kool-aid mix.
Prove him wrong, you fucking faggot.
buy a Marie Callenders pie and bake it up. Pass it off as yours.

Prove him wrong that people can't tell the difference between homemade pie or tenderflake/pilsbury pie crust and canned filling? I think it's pretty fucking obvious he is wrong.
Basic bitch white people will never be able to tell the difference, unless you put them side by side. My mother did it for fucking years. Canned filling and frozen pie crust. She use premade cookie dough, too. Just added sprinkles or frosting and everyone thought she was hot shit.
But its easy..
no one will ever know, and it's gonna be better than whatever you shit out.
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>Pie fillings are easy to make
>to make
>canned filling

You are retarded

Homemade fillings are not at all difficult or complicated to make. Crusts take some effort, but they are not that hard.

If someone is inexperienced or pressed for time, it makes perfect sense to use a premade crust and homemade filling.

pic unrelated
I thought the OP was a grilled cheese in a waffle maker.
You're fucked, man. Better eat a lead sandwich to save yourself the embarrassment that would haunt you for the rest of your life.

I never said filling was hard to make. I'm merely saying it's pretty obvous when the shit is premade.
Pies aren't hard, you just have to get your hands dirty. For the crust, combine pastry flour, salt, and baking powder, then don't skimp on the fat. Cut it up into cubes then use your fingers to rub it in to the flour until it looks like chunky sand. Now fuck ice water; use vodka. Less water means a more tender crust and the alcohol evaporates at a low temperature, so Browning will be better. You might find it easier to squish it in to the pie plate rather than rolling it out, which won't be pretty, but it will taste good. Fillings are easy. Tons of recipes online.
exit bag?
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I wouldn't attempt a real pie, it's too late. These should do.

I have two pseudo-pies for you:

lightly mash strawberries, raspberries or both together with desired amount of sugar in a casserole dish. (Keep it chunky)

Crush shortbread (or another kind of cookie but shortbread is my fav) over the the fruit. Make sure thats chunky too

Spread a bit of butter on top then bake till the cookie is getting golden and the fruit is hot.


2 Dump Cake:

There are tons of recipes for this and its super cheap-sounding but my American friend showed me it and I love it.

Mix 1 can of cherries and 1 can of pineapple in a shallow dish. Pour some kind of cake mix evenly over the top then melt a stick of butter over it.

Bake until top is crispy.

Both are kinda pleb recipes but I doubt you're cooking for foodies. And like I said, pretty tasty.
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