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Hurts on the way in, Hurts on the way out

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Thread replies: 47
Thread images: 3

File: SCOTCH-BONNET-1.png (727KB, 800x800px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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I absolutely love spicy food, and have no issue eating it.

However, I can't for the life of me figure out a way to protect my darling asshole from the fiery death it experiences after a round of hot sauce.

Any actual recommendations on how to save my pucker without me restricting myself to a less spicy diet?
>>
>>8488533
Go get fucked by a thousand dicks OP.

The spicy food will no longer be the reason your asshole hurts.

You're welcome.
>>
>>8488533
Put some yogurt on ur sphincter
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>>8488552
I'm trying to get rid of the pain, not replace it.
I appreciate the advice though.

>>8488557
Seems like it would be a sticky affair. Then I might as well just take the 1000 dicks and let them cum there.
>>
>>8488567
Yogurt isn't sticky mate
Just trust me yogurt soothes all your worries
>>
I haven't found a way yet. You do get used to it. Eventually, sometimes you'll get it, and sometimes you won't. That's about the best you can hope for. The ring sting is only temporary, and it's totally worth it.
>>
>>8488533
>>8488582
What this guy says. I pretty much don't get it anymore except when I consume meme-tier amounts of spicy food like the wings at places you have to sign a waiver for etc...

I also find I get it more often when I eat raw peppers than with hot sauce etc...
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>>8488533
Do you have hemorrhoids? I have never had a sore ass shitting out spicy food
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>>8488586
Oil or alcohol on your starfish are the only ways to do it. Other than eating less spicy food or drinking a lot of fluids.
>>
Want to get rid of these problems once and for all? Take a thumb sized ginger, peel it and stick up your ass. No less than 10 minutes or it won't work.
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>>8488557
This. or Oil. As stupid as it sounds, it does work.
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>>8488717
Or alcohol douching. Bonus because youll also get drunk .
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>>8488621
hmmm
>>
eat some greasy food before or with the spicy stuff

make sure you don't swallow huge pieces of pepper, maybe leave out the seeds

you want to make sure the spicyness sorta dissolves before it goes through your anus.
>>
>>8488533
How can you say you love spicy food if you can't take her shit?
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>>8488717
oil yes or drink a lot of sugary soda afterwards. The sugar also negates the capsicum.
>>
Is this really something that happens?

I've been eating spicy food my entire life, I've never experienced anything even slightly like this.
>>
Butt chug some milk senpai
>>
I've honestly never had a painful shit before from eating chillies.
Even when I ate 2 habanero's raw all I had was pain in my mouth, my shit was fine. Could it just be that you're american? Or do you eat superhot peppers/sauce?
>>
Eat a whole nutmeg within the hour after eating the spicy food

I dont know why but it works, literal pain-free shits when it comes out the next day every single time
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>>8489915
Please whoever is reading this DON'T do it.
This anon is trying to poison you with this shitty advice for some reason. Fuck you buddy.
>>
>>8488552
You need to be at least 18 to use this website.
>>
>>8488533
Hey there you Kool Kat. I'm pretty well versed in this area and may be able to help you out.

If spicy wicy foods makes your lil tushy hole hurt hurt, then it's very possible you have minor Hemorrhoids or possibly Anal Fissures (tiny little cuts on your poopoo schute).

I've always been a big fan of the hot stuff and then one day my wifey and I got drunk and convinced me to let her peg me. Next day we went to BDUBS for our normal spicy habanero mango wings and that night, it felt like fire was in my butt.

Had my wife look at my little hole and she saw swelled up little cuts.

Hope this advice helps you friendo!
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>>8488588
Yeah me either but I have heard about it a lot, maybe it's a digestion thing?

Maybe you and I are ubermensch? Feels good being superior.
>>
>>8489915
Yeah, this is temp ban worthy, I dont wait an air of misinformation here.
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>>8490482
Man, I shitpost and get temp banned all the time by being a fucking autist but I'm going to break character for a monent

DON'T FOLLOW THE ADVICE AND BAN THE FUCKER. This might as well be attempted murder
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>>8490485
maybe reddit would be more your speed, you dumb white-knighting attention whore.
>>
>>8490489
Literally falling for the bait in 1 minutes and 17 seconds; good job anon

Stay Kool you Kool Kat!
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novocaine paste, just lube up your browneye 5 minutes before the big show. Prep H can help too

I have found eating sichuan peppercorns provides a similar benefit from the inside out
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>>8488621
can confirm, this will totally change your perspective on asspain
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>>8490447

What's your preferred strap on brand?
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>>8489370
It happens to a lot of people, and tolerance to spicy food isn't really a factor in whether or not you get burning shits or not. It's probably genetic or something.
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>>8490559
>What's your preferred strap on brand?

Only did it once and I didn't enjoy it.

She just used a giant pink dildo, cut a hole in her panties and used that to secure it...
>>
>>8490569

Hmmmmmmmm okay

Thanks for being honest
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I used to get the old ring of fire with jalapeƱos, nothing else. Usually because I didn't chew them enough.

Chew your food, OP
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>>8490485
>>8490482
>>8489945
You absolute fucking minges
Fuck off back to tumblr now
>>
Pic related OP. It basically creates a barrier on the skin to protect against irritation. Rub some of this on and in your butt hole and the capsaicin won't be able to touch your sensitive parts. Its cheap too. 6 bucks at target.
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File: american_size.jpg (86KB, 350x1086px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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>>8488533
Wasn't there a South Park episode about eating Chipolte and shitting blood? This thread is that episode.

Seriously grow up. It only hurts for a minute. Also you might try eating LESS FOOD. When you FULLY DIGEST Capsaicin it loses 99% of it's heat. You might not have noticed that when you eat 4000 calories a day, and crap 3x a day. Lastly if the Capsaicin is hurting your bowels / intestines it's probably because you have IBS or undiagnosed gluten allergy.
>>
It's like they never realize there's something wrong with their brains and they'd be better off if they just stopped eating pointlessly hot food that adds nothing to the taste or texture besides literal pain.
>>
>>8490493
>>8490485
Hi there!

You seem to have made a bit of a mistake in your post. Luckily, the users of 4chan are always willing to help you clear this problem right up! You appear to have used a tripcode when posting, but your identity has nothing at all to do with the conversation! Whoops! You should always remember to stop using your tripcode when the thread it was used for is gone, unless another one is started! Posting with a tripcode when it isn't necessary is poor form. You should always try to post anonymously, unless your identity is absolutely vital to the post that you're making!

Now, there's no need to thank me - I'm just doing my bit to help you get used to the anonymous image-board culture!
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>>8489370
Same
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>>8491067
>le haha we r le leggin fuqq u 4 not leting use endanjer ppl u faqqet

You are exactly the type of person who ruined this site; the redditor that thinks "teh 4channnz" is the cool place that lets you get away with anything you want.


Fag.
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>>8491924
Too young to remember the lolicon board, huh
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>>8488533

Eat them on the reg and your system will adjust and you won't have that issue.
>>
Babywipes.
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>>8488533
Try eating pickle with your food. I know it does some good protection with greasy food, I think it will do the same with spicy food too
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>>8488533
eat dairy products before or with your spicy food
Thread posts: 47
Thread images: 3


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