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Is there any truth in the South Park about Yelp? I don't

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Is there any truth in the South Park about Yelp? I don't work in a restaurant or pay any attention to Yelp. Do reviewers actually introduce themselves?
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>>7177017
Yes, everything that you see on tv is true.
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>>7177017
The problem with yelp is that when people have average or decent experience, they dont bother reviewing the place. But the faggots who wanna throw a tantrum are the first to log in and post about it. So, yeah.
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I only write Yelp reviews when I have a really bad experience.
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>>7177017

Not really? I've never heard of a Yelper introducing themselves as a food critic, unless it's a Kitchen Nightmare episode or some shit.

The biggest issue with Yelpers is they'll do what >>7177041 says. They'll complain about a bad experience, but they don't bother reviewing places that are decent. They effectively in a way seek to harm businesses more than promote them and that makes most of them shitty people.
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>>7177030
Don't bother, subtlety is lost on OP
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>>7177017
Go on Yelp and go read some. You'll get the idea.

There is definitely a part of the userbase that is full of themselves and have an axe to grind wherever they can post a rant. This leads to them posting crazy Yelp reviews. It's hard to paraphrase because each crazy review is a reflection of the writer. It's not usually normal complaints like, "the restaurant was dirty" or "service was slow," it's stuff like, "why don't they serve grilled cheese at this Chinese restaurant?" or "My kids aren't allowed in the bar! Worst bar ever!!" People mad that a restaurant won't custom-make a dish for them, when the restaurant doesn't have the ingredients or ability to make it.
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IDK about what actual "yelpers" are like, but I don't trust the reviews since they are usually either paid for, or by extra bitchy customers who are mad because their entrees came too soon after the appetizer or some crap like that. I do like yelp for having a comprehensive list of restaurants/businesses, having their hours, location, and price range, and having pictures of the interior (so I know what sort of atmosphere they have).
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>>7177041
>>7177046
I have to chime in and say Yelp reviews about the places in my area do not reflect the "petty asshole" mentality that these two claim to experience. While it's true that a negative experience might more readily incline someone to write a review, the negative reviews about my local eateries are largely concerned with long wait times, bad service, and lack of hygiene. I can't speak to their experiences but mine, as someone in Southern California, has been that Yelp is largely reliable. I have certainly seen reviews written by people that seem that take it far too seriously, and those are easy to discount. I have never seen anyone introduce themselves as a reviewer
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http://observer.com/2015/03/yelp-extremely-concerned-about-what-investigative-documentary-will-reveal/
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Great food, great atmosphere, 15 minute waiting time 1/5
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>>7177017
I was Yelp Elite for three years half a decade ago. The only time I or anyone I knew on Yelp outed themselves to restaurant owners or staff was during Elite events, when they gave us free food and drinks in return for posting about what fun we had at that particular Elite event. And those events were fun, so it wasn't lies.

But I stopped with Yelp years ago because it didn't line up with my own personal values. I managed to get paid for my food criticism for a while, and after that decided the only place where I'd give content away for free was a place that shared my own values, like 4chan. So I'm here,

Fuck Yelp. But it was fun for a few minutes back in the late 2000's. But it also fucked with some of my restaurateur friends. I remember getting emails from one of them when he changed chefs and the next wave of reviews were terrible. I'm not particularly in love with the idea of crowd sourced criticism.
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>last month
>telling someone about my hands down place to go to eat
>Great service, great food, head chef always asking guests how there food is, GM and managers always walking around talking to guests
>not the cheapest of places but, $100 for two people with some alcoholic beverages is not super expensive either
>person walks away and seems happy
>comes back 10 minutes later
>"I am not eating there!
>uhhh why
>"they have a ONE star rating on yelp"
>uhhhhh what
>"look!"
>hands me phone
>read the 1 star post
>"This restaurant is HORRIBLE, it took 15 minutes for my family to get seated, after that we ordered the calamari and it was actual squid! Gross! My pasta was under-cooked and when I brought it up to the chef he basically told me oh well. Save your time and go to olive garden or some other place."
>uhhhh wow ok
>tell person "well if that's the yelp post you're going to rely on then you don't need to go there"
>walk away
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>>7177241
>$100 for two people with some alcoholic beverages is not super expensive either

wew #WhiteMiddleClassLife
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>>7177249
>wew #WhiteMiddleClassLife

hey shitstain: Go back to the hell hole you crawled out of.
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The yelp reviews that make me laugh the most are the ones where people go to a specialty restaurant (Italian, Greek, Mexican, etc.) and order something like tendies or a burger and then give a one star review because the food was mediocre. That or when they order a spicy dish and turn around and give a one star review because it was "too spicy"

And yeah, like someone else said above, when they go on a busy night and say that they loved the food, it was the best they've ever had, then shit on it with a one star review because there was a 20 minute wait time or something arbitrary like that.
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>>7177249
Sounds about right, though. If I can beat that by a decent margin with good food, drinks and service I walk out feeling like I robbed a bank.
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>>7177249

>was talking to someone who goes to fucking Chilis and calls it "going out"

Don't live in a big city so you actually have to TRY to spend over $100 on dinner for two. I have no problem dropping $300 on dinner if I needed to.
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>>7177249

Not even white but that's really not that bad at an average dining/date restaurant. Say you each get two drinks that winds up being ~30-40 bucks, plus meal, then tip and tax.
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>>7177262
Yeah, this place I get, appetizer, Fillet Mignon (good as fuck), ol' lady gets Steak Diane and we both have at least two drinks and it will come out to about $80, said $100 just as a generality.
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>>7177276
my dates normally come to around $70-80 but I always only have 1 drink since I have a fear of a DUI and even having 1 drink puts you over the limit where I live
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>>7177269
>Don't live in a big city so you actually have to TRY to spend over $100 on dinner for two.
'K, but do you have any place you can go that has a legit wine list and doesn't source their ingredients from SYSCO or US Foods for under $50pp for dinner and drinks? My guess is you're either very fucking lucky or you don't.
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>>7177282
For steak that's crazy cheap. I'm guessing you live near cows.
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>>7177296
I don't think flyovers consider those bad things. Wine is for putting on airs, and Sysco is normal food
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>>7177308
>Wine is for putting on airs, and Sysco is normal food
Hideous
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>>7177296
yeah, this place has a wine room, but you know what? FUCK WINE.
"oh let me pay $20 for a glass of ItakeItUpTheAss"
I'm good.

Look up SouthWestFlorida, that will tell you the variety I have, everything from $200 a plate to fucking waffle house within a 25 miles radius.
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>>7177302
Is paying $28 for a filet mignon dish and $22 for a steak diane dish considered cheap? I've paid $50+ for filet mignon and it was meh compared to the $28 dish.
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>>7177324
>yeah, this place has a wine room, but you know what? FUCK WINE.
whatever
>"oh let me pay $20 for a glass of ItakeItUpTheAss"
I know the industry markup in restaurants is 400% by the glass, and much less by the bottle of the somm gives a shit. I appreciate the kind of places that have a somm that gives a shit about having good stuff across their list, especially at the top and the bottom.
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>>7177330
>Is paying $28 for a filet mignon dish and $22 for a steak diane dish considered cheap?
Yes. If you're getting Prime dry aged meat anywhere near that price you're living in an alternate reality. If you're getting tough, bloody tasting cheap steaks I'd rather not eat that shit.
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>>7177017
I've never seen them introduce themselves, but I have heard them LOUDLY MENTION writing up a negative review so waitstaff (and anyone in the general area) can hear.

I live in Vegas so our reviews are a mixed bag between locals who don't care that we actually have some really good food out here but "PRICES ARE SO HIGH AND PORTIONS ARE SO SMALL" and tourists who well... are tourists. I like to hate read low star reviews for places I like, especially from those Yelp Elite asshat. It's always "I think every other review is a lie. I had a bad time because [restaurant is busy/seasonal menu changes/not as good as some place in California/etc]" Sure, there's some good negative feedback here and there, but most of the shitslinging is from folks who are either obnoxiously pretentious or don't want to pay the price for the food/quality/service
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Honestly if a restaurant doesn't have a paired wine for each main course I wouldn't bother drinking the wine.

And I don't mean asking the waitress what wine she recommends, I mean the actual chefs pairing the wines
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>>7177396
I assure you, it's prime soft, barely have to chew, meat on both of those dishes mentioned.

>>7177371
You're right, I see people drinking wine in there every time. I can not drink it.
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>>7177415
yup, the place does. I literally can't drink wine, I don't enjoy it at all.
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>>7177412
Some gems I've read over the years (I mostly use Yelp, like others, for hours of operation, photos of food, prices)

>White Castle on the Strip
THEY'RE SO SMALL AND SO SHITTY WHY WOULD YOU EAT THIS THEY'RE SO EXPENSIVE
>Novelty, and mostly because people "in the know" don't go to WC expecting an amazing 5-star burger. We know what they're good for, and happy we can buy them by the caseload

>Any place with a seasonal/rotating menu after items get changed
I WILL NEVER COME BACK THEY TOOK [item] OFF THE MENU AND THE REPLACEMENT IS BAD

>Any place that's "fast casual" or "casual sit down" that's not part of a chain
THE PORTIONS ARE TOO SMALL FOR THE PRICE I COULD JUST GO TO [insert chain here] DON'T WASTE YOUR MONEY

I'm a firm believer in the idea that you shouldn't really pass judgment on a place until you've been to it a couple times (unless it made you sick, in which case judge away). For all you know you hit a bad night, new waitstaff, a change in menus, etc. If it's bad again, then sure, blast away. Otherwise, you're just being a dickbag.
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>>7177417
You might have found a purple unicorn.
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>>7177017
It's a cartoon show, so you have to take it with a big grain of salt, but in my experience it can be true. It's like public reviews anywhere- can be really helpful but there are always idiots who rate high or low for some ridiculous reason and skew the results. If you go through and read the things and discard ones that are silly (I went to this five star restaurant and the food was great and the service was great but it was expensive 1/5 never going back) then it's fine. The problems arise when people just blindly follow the ratings without looking at why they got them.
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>>7177580
My gf does this. We line in Korea together (she's a kqt) and she literally check everyplace on naver blogs, and for literally every restaurant you get hundreds of people taking pictures of the food and posting it. She refuses to go anywhere or eat anything without checking the blogs first. Makes me angry tbqh but whatever.

Better than yelp reviews but still

http://ssillyturtle.tistory.com/m/post/entry/강남역의-새로운-비스트로-펍-더플레이스-강남점

example
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>>7177588
Firefox worked with that, that was the first time I've tried a site where the URL has Korean characters in it.
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>>7177017
Everybody has an opinion about everything and anything now days. I used yelp to see what restaurants are in my area but never believe anything in the reviews. The reviews are mostly women bitching about wait times and the others are written by try hard hipsters reading from a thesaurus
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>>7177588
>taking pictures of individual forks of food

man what a way to ruin a meal desu

>wait wait lemme take a picture of literally everything before we eat
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>>7177417
Where do you live, purple unicorn man?
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Every time I've gone on yelp to check reviews it seemed to be filled with fucktards so I've just stopped looking.

A lot of the negative reviews seem to be from people that just went to a restaurant for the first time after years living among fucking baboons or something.
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Yelp is a sound dogs make.
2015 reprwsentz
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there is a lack of features to downboat, agree/disagree, reply to or report bad reviews. they simply sit there and that's bad.

someone lied about my job and used my friend's full name in the review. they said we delivered like 6 miles out of our delivery range, which is 1 mile, and that we were liars by saying they had no order history (it's stored per phone number, not per address.) i can't explain any of this publicly, as an employee of the business, because there is no feature to do so.
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>>7177059
>tfw always post on yelp about how horrible service is, how bland or disgusting the food is or how dirty the restaurant is
>its seldom ever true,I've pissed all over a bathroom and took a picture of it,claiming that's how the restaurant left it
> will take food home let it sit in the fridge for a day and then upload a picture of it

I just love them grovelling. Every third or fourth time I order pizza or something I call and complain to get free shit.

Love it.
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>>7177041
>yelpers don't review the place when they get an average or decent experience
why would they? resturant are suppose to give decent experiences. bet you're one of those fags who think we should tip waiters no matter what
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>>7177318

Wine drinkers always do so well in blind tasting.

To say that expensive wine is for putting on airs is being generous, most people order it simply because they are morons. These are the same people buying 100$ HDMI cables.
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I don't trust yelp. In my area, I feel like a few really shitty businesses are definitely paying/giving freebies for people to leave good yelp reviews. I've been to several of these places several times and they all fucking sucked. All while the much smaller, probably struggling (due to not having as many yelp reviews) yet infinitely better quality food places, who don't focus so much on yelp reviews, get screwed.
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>>7179070
>To say that expensive wine is for putting on airs is being generous
There's a whole world out there between Grand Cru Bourgogne and Two Buck Chuck. Just like there's a whole world of wine drinkers between the investment banker showing off at Veritas and the homeless guy with a flask of MD 20/20.

One can drink very good wine that's not expensive. But with restaurant markup even ordinary bottles get expensive when you're dining out. That's just part of the cost of the experience. If you are a wine drinker sitting down to a particularly nice meal without a glass of wine is leaving a particularly pleasurable element out of the experience.

Fortunately a good somm knows not everyone who orders wine at a restaurant has fuck you money, so he makes sure there are a couple decent bottles on the low end of the list's price range.

Last time I went out to eat I got a bottle of pic related for $32, which was very fair, considering the bottle retails for $15, so it could have been $40 on the list. I appreciate shit like that.
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>>7177588

post pix of korean qt3.14 pls
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>>7177017

Sadly yes, even that Family Guy ep where Brian is stupid, his mention of the yelp app is dead on.
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>>7178914
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