shitposting aside, how would you actually describe how these

Cheap and salty.

>>7172543
HOT... Not like spicy...HOT. Do not bite into a recently microwaved hot pocket. You will burn the absolute shut out of your mouth.

Other than that they are ok. Nothing special. I don't eat them often but my kids like them on the weekends. They eat the lean pockets made with pretzel bread or the pepperoni pizza ones.

>>7172577
cook your thing proper food, at least on the weekends

>>7172543

They're gross.

Imagine the worst thing you've ever eaten, or that one time you got food poisoning... then imagine how the vomit tasted from said eating.

Now... step back and imagine again as that vomit is left to ferment in a jar for a month in the most brutal summer sun.... that's how hot pockets taste.

>>7172543
Like poverty

>>7172543
Hot Pocket fillings aren't bad as far as frozen food goes, but they were much better back in the day

This is because they have upped the bread (which is bland, tasteless, and doughy) and lessoned the fillings. So...they mostly taste like bland dough with a little filling

>>7172668
Fuck you, nigger! I'm too busy playing vidya on weekends. The little shits can eat Hot Pockets and pizza rolls and they'll like it.

And guess what? When you're too old for anyone to care about, the kids I neglected and fed a steady diet salted fatty shit to will grow up fat and stupid, incapable of taking care of themselves and making important decisions about society.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

>>7172543
It's basically just a sandwich version of whatever's on the box. And they're not at all hot if you leave them to cool for a minute like the back of the box says.

Salt and grease.

tastes like shame

Like a bland cheap bready version of what you see on the box it's pretty much Chipotle tier food

>>7172543
>shitposting aside

Microwave-Soggy pizza that exploded.

Oven- Crispy exploded pizza.

>>7172543
Hits the spot when you wake up hungry as fuck

Lacks flavor completely in certain aspects but makes up for it with salt

Would recommend trying at least once

>>7172543
Bland as fuck.

congealed grease, stale crust, and indentured servitude.

Its crazy how if you take it out the microwave 2 seconds early it's still frozen and 2 seconds longer it's on fire.

>>7172543
Sadness and realizing you wasted your life.... and don't forget sadness.

>>7172879

You're way too articulate to actually be a shitty stupid parent. Bet your kids are sarcastic assholes though, like their papa.

>>7175108
wizardry

My high school served a hot pocket imitation that was a million times better than the real thing. Thick dough but in good proportion to the fillings, cheesy, and the little pepperoni cubes like they used on the pizza, rather than whole slices meant there wasn't a fuckton of scalding hot grease on the inside. I wish I could go get some. Anyone else know such joys?