Hey guys, working on making a cake for a coworker's birthday

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You could make an opera.
Stuff is great !

>>7135010
This looks great

Also why did you offer to make a cake for such a man op what is your deal

>Making the main attraction
>For a professional cook

unless everybody else is bringing a cake you don't want to make the main attraction unless you have firm knowledge and expertise to make a cake

Seeing its a coworker too and not a friend I'm iffy on whether or not he'll try to publicly humiliate you

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I don't know much about cake. I'm a bread man.

>>7135010
That looks amazing. Amazing, but probably out of my skill set, time frame, and budget. I want to be able to feed everyone at our small restaurant from first and second shift. That should be at least two dozen people, I imagine. Probably more.

>>7135014
He's a cool guy. I like him and he really knows how to run a kitchen. That's something I appreciate. He's patient with me despite my being a bit annoying and a slow learner and an over-apologizing, too-many-question-asking, autist. I'm trying to show my appreciation. Also, he's leaving us this month, not many people know, I want us to all come together to celebrate the guy who is keeping the kitchen running as efficiently as possible. It's a young, hip crowd, that makes a lot of room for shenanigans. He knows balance. Fun, cool, awesome dude. He deserves a bit of an embarrassing fuss made of his day. Also, I'm getting back at him for having tried to keep his birthday from me and telling me he hopes I'm eaten by a bear.

>>7135026
I expect to be embarrassed, but I'm always embarrassed. He's as good a friend as I have considering I don't have any. I'm just going to try, I think he'll be nice about it. I took in a pie today and it seemed to be warmly received.

I've bought the stuff for the cake. I just realized neither I nor my roommate have a coffee maker though.. ugh. I'll probably have to skip d&d tonight :(

>>7135323
You sound like you are in love with this guy.

>>7135329
lol, I'm not. I'd probably have a bit of a crush on him, but I like someone else. I'm just probably a bit overly affectionate, and I'm a desperate try hard. If I were in love with him... just trust me I'd make a waaaaay bigger deal out of this whole thing. I'm just being myself about it and hoping that they somehow accept me. I like to bake and be sweet to people and I try really hard for them to like me and to feel good. I'm so depressed on my birthdays and all alone, I don't want anyone else to feel that way even if they already won't. I don't know man, I'm just a big fat faggot. I am OP.

>>7135323
Actually, opera is mostly a big cake, and it isn't really that difficult to make. It is only a biscuit, a buttercream, and a ganache; the biscuits is punched with coffee. You can buy small one, but if you make one from scratch, they can be really big. It's a nice, traditionnal, french dessert.

>>7135027
it's the same thing, just add lots of sugar and then put frosting on it
wa la

>>7135375
do you have a link to a good recipe?

>>7135000
Use this recipe for chocolate cake base (extremely easy and hard to fuck up)

http://thewoksoflife.com/2015/11/chocolate-cake-recipe/

Use this recipe to make an espresso buttercream, you can up the coffee content if it's not strong enough or find a recipe w/o eggs

http://www.mybakingaddiction.com/chocolate-cake-with-espresso-buttercream/

Pour the ganache over like your pic, not too much. To make ganache: heat whipping cream to almost boiling. Add to a bowl of semi-sweet chocolate chips. Let the cream melt the chips, stirring till cemented. Let sit until it still runs but isn't soupy, so it'll drape over the side of the cake but not run down it.

Garnish the cake with dark chocolate shavings and chocolate covered coffee beans

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Wound up going to d&d after all so I'll be working on this cake all night. Absolutely bit off more than I can chew. I already started and made a bit of a mistake by doubling the recipe unnecessarily but it's fine, I didn't get too far before realizing.

I'll probably post pics periodically as I go along. Mostly to keep me up. I've never done this before, sorry if it's shit

>>7135000
then how the fuck did you get stuck with making his cake? did you seriously offer? jesus.

>>7135000
wow what a suck up. don't you want to earn your promotion on merit?

>>7136480
"Yo OP, if you make me a cake for my birthday tomorrow I'll let you suck my unwashed dick" -OP's friend
"Fuck yes, I love to suck dicks!" - OP

>>7136480
>>7136505
>>7136508
jesus christ guys, I'm a loser working a shit job cooking up some noodles. I'm just trying to be nice, maybe make friends. I just don't really have a life or any friends or anyone to share anything with. I'm making the d&d group a pecan pie next week, by request.

I'm just a fucking loser.... a loser without a stand mixer who has to cream this shit by hand. Ugh

Guys. As this is the cake thread. I subbed regular white flour for coconut flour (cooking for gluten free vegans, go figure) it looks like a disaster. Is this because of the flour, or could it just be that I fucked up something else.

OP you talk too much. Just make a sacher cake. It's hard to fuck that up

>>7136516
Hey cocksucker, just how many of "your friends" have "been nice" to?

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>>7136531
Nigger I'm already making this thing

>>7136538
None because I don't have any friends.

I'm a chick okay that's why it's socially acceptable for me to do this. I also knit the guys some dice bags and make cookies and stuff. I can't help it I just want to take care of people. I fuck no one ever I just make cakes

>>7136551
whatever you say dude

>>7136551
You sound sweet.
GL with everything!

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>>7136556
Aww thanks anon. I really appreciate that. They're finally ready for the oven!

>>7136551
Yes I replied to you because you're a female /ck/ poster, 'tis an awesome thing to see!
I'm Brian.
Don't be intimidated, but I'm not a stereotypical guy. If anything, I'll be the one in the kitchen :D

>>7136560
Looking good! Looking forward to the end result...

>>7136516
im sorry man i was just joking. its actually a good idea

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Working on the buttercream now

>>7136580
good. gotta build up those forearms for the reach around.

>>7136551
I used to bake shit for coworkers to make them feel special, and to also gauge if my food was good enough for folks outside of my family and friends.

I stopped when one girl complained because she wanted a bigger cake. Wasn't feeling up to it anymore after that.

>>7136593
>and to also gauge if my food was good enough for folks outside of my family and friends.
definitely this for me as well

>>7136593
>>7136601
Me too, I wanted to gauge how much rat poison would take out my grandma.

Cakes are done... I think too done :( I left them in for too long.

Buttercream is coming along but incredibly slowly. I messed it up. I'm pretty upset now. I'm just a fuck up.

>>7136625
Post pics sweetheart, I'm sure it's fine!

>>7136628
it's not.
I tasted it and it's not good. It's try and too sweet for the buttercream. It's DRY. Dry cake is shit. it's literal shit. I'm going to start from scratch and reuse the buttercream. I have 4 hours until work and I'm so tired. I haven't slept in two days. I fucking hate myself.

>>7136518
"Coconut flour requires an equal ratio of liquid to flour for best results. Coconut flour can replace up to 20% of the flour in a recipe, but you will need to add an equal amount of liquid to compensate. "

You need a diff type of flour as well if you're using coconut flour.

>>7136518
More info: http://nourishedkitchen.com/baking-with-coconut-flour/

>>7136637
jesus christ. down an adderall and take a nap. no ones going to give half a shit if you reneg on your cake promise.

>>7136647
This, or just stop at a bakery on the way to work.

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>>7136647
>napping
>after taking adderall
>u wot m8

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>>7136651
Get some rest OP--nobody will care if you truly bake the cake. They just want to eat one. Buy one, you'll be fine and you'll be more sociable since you won't be drowning in self hatred and insomnia.

>>7136647
I'll care and adderall doesn't make me sleepy, besides I don't have it. I am so upset about this cake situation, I know the only person who actually cares is me, but I really do care. I care. I don't want to abandon the project because I'm a failure.

Would it be a cop out to halve the cakes, soak them in a it of cofee, then layer them on and ope for the best? Yes. It's a cop out, but I'm so exhausted and I'm also pretty broke.

>>7136655
just do that and go to fucking bed

>>7136655
If you can get a knife to cut off the extremely dry exterior, then you can make a sugar syrup and brush this over the cake. All bakers I know add a sugar syrup to their cake to keep it moist. It will make your cake sweeter, but I am assuming you are in the USA, where chocolate cakes lean moist/sweet anyway. You can google a recipe for sugar syrup, but basically it is just a shit load of caster sugar dissolved into heated water.

How is the buttercream doing? If you are stressing about it, I would recommend just rough-icing it. I'll post a link for you in a moment.

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Rough icing video below:
youtube.com/watch?v=oD9HFlNnlbU
Basically, but one layer of buttercream on the outside of your cake, and put it in the fridge just for 20 minutes (This will be your crumb coat, it traps any cake crumbs and stops them showing up in the next layer). Then throw on another layer of icing, and gently drag a spatula up the sides of the cake as shown in the video.
If your really panicking for time, just fill the cake, ice the top and maybe dust it with cocoa powder.

And remember: You will probably think the cake tastes shit. I make/decorate cakes for a hobby too, and I still get anxious every time I give someone a cake. But people love free cake, and people are used to shit store bought cakes, so they will always enjoy your cake. Just remember that you have spent all goddamn night on this cake, so you will hate it and think it looks awful. But when you take it into work, and everyone oohs and ahhs over it, you will see it with fresh eyes and notice it isn't as bad as you think it is.

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>>7136668
The buttercream turned out okay after a lot of elbow grease. It smells great and should turn out awesome but I'm absolutely going to run out and get some more cocoa powder for another cake. Might try the recipe an anon posted but I'm not big on the vegetable oil in it. I don't often make cakes but when I do it's not chocolate. I make great brownies and cookies but cakes require some hardware. I'm exhausted but I'll feel okay if I can just try a new cake. I definitely don't want to sweeten it and I already halved one of the cakes and took too much from it. It's cool, I'll just make another and sleep tomorrow.

>>7136655
its okay OP, its clear you put a lot of effort into this and tried your best

>>7136668
maybe try this and get some rest tho

>>7136687
it looks nice!

Try this opera recipe anon! It's the same as the French recipes. Not really difficult but you need to let everything cool down !
http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/opera-cake-230481

>>7136676
I really don't think they'd be impressed by this cake. We're in a hipster city full of amazing food and great cooks everywhere you go. I have to try again, but I'm saving this link and image and capping your comment, for future endeavors. Thank you for being so helpful and supportive. I'm going to run out for that cocoa powder.. I have cacao powder but I don't think they're the same. I also have dark chocolate, chocolate chips, and I somehow managed to only get one bag of powdered cocoa. I'm just the worst

>>7136688
my best a shit though. I don't mean to be such a failure. You guys can't even imagine what a loser I am, I'm really just so pathetic ugh I try so hard and it's just a huge failure every time

>>7136687
Buttercream looks gorgeous! How much time do you have to make a new cake? Just make sure you have time to cool it before assembling.

>>7136702
youre not a failure i promise youre pulling an all nighter to make a damn cake, most people wouldnt do that. a loser wouldnt even try. all and all even if this one is a bust youll be better next time

>>7136518
Pastries require gluten to create the proper rise and protein bridge. If you have gluten allergies pastry is one of the things you can't enjoy in your life.

>>7136702
Cacao and cocoa is the same thing, its just an American/European spelling of the word, with Cacao being the American spelling (I used to work for a British Chocolate company, si I am certain of this). If you really want to make another cake, the chocolate sponge recipe I have tested and had laods of success with is below:
aspoonful-of-sugar.tumblr.com/post/12333989143/ultimate-chocolate-cake

It was taken from a cookbook I have by Ed Kimber, and it is a really moist, American style chocolate cake. Trust me that it is amazing.

What sort of decoration are you planning? Are you piping, or caramelising the nuts? Let us know and we can help.

You guys! I just realized my mistake from earlier has me set up for another cake go already! I had already mixed up the cocoa and hot coffee and even though I still have to do all the mixing by hand and I have a blister formed on my palm, I'm not going to have to go to the store. Oh god I hope I can pull this one off. I'm going to try my best and I'll start checking it after half an hour and every 5 minutes after just to make sure I don't let it get too done. Wish me luck guys! thank you for being so nice and supportive, I really really appreciate it. I'd bake you stuff if I could, but I'm sure you'd do much better than I could for you lol

>>7136702
OP seriously no offense at all, but you are extremely self deprecating and may want to look into therapy? Nobody should hate themselves this much over a cake. Take care and best wishes.

>>7136714
I'm going to do a ganache. I don't know that I can incorporate pecans anymore unless I candy them maybe and sprinkle them on top. Maybe I could toast them and line the sides of the cake with them like tres leches are with sliced almonds?

I'm working on remaking the same cake just because I'm already part of the way there. I'm really hoping this one works out.

>>7136722
I'm severely mentally ill. I'm working a low paying job and trying my hardest to keep it. I work a second job and the only thing I do in my free time is d&d that I just started. I'm really horribly lonely and don't have any friends and I'm just really down about myself. I am too poor to really afford much anyway, I tried making a friend through craigslist but she always wanted to go out to eat and when I told her about how I was feeling suicidal at the time, she sent me hotlines and said she wishes me luck. She was nice, I understand that I'm hard to care about. I don't know but for now I can just focus on cake and try my best. I have both jobs tomorrow, so it's a long day.

>>7136743
I understand OP. I'm sorry she wasn't supportive. I know what it's like to be depressed and alone. I would be your friend. Maybe try taking a day for yourself soon and go hiking or do something refreshing. Are you close with your family?

>>7136743
When you make a ganache, don't panic - it seems like they will never set. Just give them time, and put it in the fridge when you want to hurry things along. Good luck.

>>7136747
I spent this year traveling, hiking, camping, I have lost all joy and peace that I used to feel in the outdoors. For now, I'm going to try to focus on doing well enough to hold down a job and maybe save a few shekels. I'm not close with my family, I think I have to stop hurting them by being myself near them where they can see how unhappy I am. My mom and brother saw me after a suicide attempt and I don't think my mom can really handle losing me and my brother needs my support because he's autistic and schizophrenic, so I really habe to do my best to try to live... but in all honestly, I want to die more than anything. I'm so completely alone and I feel so worthless. I feel no hope, I have no goals for myself, I see no light at the end of the tunnel. So, for now, I'll try to work on this cake some more.

>>7136761
My ganache recipe calls for light corn syrup but I've only ever made it with cream and chocolate, and sugar. I don't know if this will be better than that, but I'm sort of hesitant about it.

>>7136773
>>7136773
I really admire that in you OP. Even though you're depressed, you still try so hard :) . Stick with the little goals you can. I believe in you.
I'm sure your cake will be delicious and not a lie ;P

>>7136786
*Stick with the little goals you feel you can do, every bit helps.

>>7136773
The corn syrup will just be to sweeten it and thicken it - in the UK we add a bit of golden syrup to ganache, and it works out fine, so don't worry. It just counter-balances the bitterness of the chocolate.

>>7136786
>>7136798
thank you guys, I really appreciate the support. I'm getting ready to try again. I'll snap a pic before I pop them in the oven.

Ready to go in but I'll probably not have time enough to finish it up before work. I'll have to ask that they cut me and bring it in after. I officially failed.

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>>7136845
Forgot pic

They taste way better but I fell asleep and I'm late for work AND they're not done. I haven't put it together yet I mean

Failure.

>>7135000
>Hey guys, working on making a cake for a coworker's birthday tomorrow
>He
You better be a girl or a gay

Awe wish I'd seen this thread earlier.

I make this as my base chocolate cake and it comes out great every damn time

http://addapinch.com/cooking/the-best-chocolate-cake-recipe-ever/

Perfectly moist, not too sweet, good amount of chocolate. You should've done something simple like this with a simple ganache frosting and put some raspberries/pecans on top.


Tip in the future is to never promise someone a cake or food that you've never made before. Tell someone you'll make them a cheesecake but only after you already know you have made a cheesecake before. Otherwise you'll be horribly stressed no matter what.

Other newb tips on cakes
>wrapping the pan in the oven with an old wet dish cloth gives you flatter cakes for layering
>decorate the edges to cover up mistakes
>when frosting do a real small crumb layer before adding the rest so it's smoother
>please use real butter

>>7136845
you will ditch a shift just for cake? jesus. i think your crew would just be happy you show up for your shift and not ditch your work onto them. save dumb shit like trying to impress them with your baking ability for times it doesn't interfere with your fucking ability to do your job

>>7136847
Looks yummy! How did it go OP? Did you get in trouble at work?