How do I tell my spouse that most of the food they cook sucks.

Would help if you gave more examples. Don't see anything wrong with garlic, and olive oil would be fine in moderation.

My wife is only allowed in the kitchen to clean.
Strengthen your pimp hand, OP.

>>7124792

Please go into more detail about her terrible cooking.

>>7124792
Post example pls

>>7124798
woman detected

>>7124800
For example she made a cream sauce last night.

She used my Sugar cookie coffee creamer and 6 whole garlic cloves and some soy sauce and then put over minute rice and served it with chicken nuggets

>>7124806
lol that sounds like something a 5 year old would make.

>>7124806
You married a retard, son

Also her burgers are usually terrible.

She adds Fish Sauce, like a shit ton of it. Soy auce, Salt, Garlic powder, Brown sugar, and ketchup. and then she cooks them into these giant balls. usually its still raw in the middle

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Make sure she's not excessively seasoning things to cover up the taste of poison.

>>7124817
>>7124806
>>7124792

Both of you must reek of garlic

>>7124806

Take a cooking class together.

It'll be fun, she'll think you're romantic and a Chef will tell her that she sucks when she produces subpar results...so you won't be the bad guy.

I bought my wife and her best friend a bootcamp at the CIA Greystone campus in NAPA. They loved it, she came back a significantly better cook. Money well invested

Need pics of wife to determine course of action needed.

Try sending her recipes that are normal.
Or buy her a cookbook for Christmas.
Or just do the cooking yourself.
Also this
>>7124836

>>7124799
This, I cook, I do the groceries. It serves two purposes:
1. It is appreciated/high level helping around the house
2. We eat good food.

[spoiler]Also, I like well done omelettes in olive oil[/spoiler]

Why not be honest with her and tell her you would rather cook for yourself? She might get mad at you for a couple days, but would you rather her be mad for a bit or would you rather eat shitty meals for the rest of your life?

I dont come here often, but is it accepted meta that every woman from 18-35 in America was told that cooking was a form of domestic slavery by their cunt mothers, and then never learned how to cook, unless they had some awesome italian/greek grandma?

What I did was suggest we go to cooking courses together, learn how to cook exotic foods. Eventually she learnt enough to not be shit.

>>7124847
Nono, just say you want to help more and want to do the bulk of the cooking.

>>7124854
Lies, my wife watches cooking network all day for years, and still cant cook

>>7124853
Unfortunately yes

>>7124853
Basically yes.

I like that the first paragraph OPs trying to make a gender neutral post but gives up by the second para.

No offense OP, but your """""wife""""" sounds mentally fucking retarded. No easy way to say it, but it has to be said. Princess syndrome + Retardation = Your wife, apparently.

>>7124863
His first sentence implied to me he had multiple wives.

>>7124806
whatthefuck

>>7124857
>cooking classes
>food network
Yeah. Totally the same thing.

>>7124853
It's sad that we have women who can't cook but it's better than having women who could but only out of a sense of duty. It's made men better cooks and is better suited to the dynamic of two working people in a relationship if neither is expected to cook and the one with more interest in the craft takes it up.

There are tasks that will always be more suited to one gender like taking care of children and setting up the internet router. But there is no evidence that home cooking is a gender specific skill in any way.

>>7124873
No it doesn't, you illiterate American fuck.

>>7124887
I learned from Iron Chef Japan in the late 90s

>>7124888
Unfortunately, and of course this is anecdotal, I do not know any women now who can cook. This is an absolute tragedy. Also, stay at home dad here, taking care of children is clearly an ideal male thing, since all the moms I know find it SOOOOOO DIFFICULT THE TOUGHEST THING IN THE WORLD when it is easy as shit.

>>7124863

Im glad you noticed. It embarasses me that I even have a wife. I am a gay man, and I met her to cover up for me being gay while my mom is still alive.

>>7124895
>any women now

Under the age of 40 that is

>>7124817
>>7124806

>Filipina detected
>DEFCON 1

abandon ship OP

>>7124895
>I do not know any women now who can cook
Really, not even baking?
> taking care of children is clearly an ideal male thing
I've taken care of kids before(not mine) and I'll agree that it's not very hard but if I had kids and they could only have one parent I'd rather it ws a mother.

>>7124792
You might want to seek out a marriage therapist then have her make you roast cat with string beans.

She has to be good at something otherwise you wouldn't have married her unless it's some arranged thing.

>>7124909
Married because it was either tell my mom I was Gay or find a women.

>>7124913
That's harsh for the chick you married.

>>7124907
My first thought too.
Never marry a Filipina. They are more insane then latinas. My coworker's wife is Filipina (his 4th one too) she beats him, and spends his money, but he's sucker for tight Asian pussy.

And least she can cook.

>>7124918
Yeah, I do feel bad about it, thats why I treat her really good. Let her do whatever she wants.

>>7124925
Does she at least know the underlying reason? If not, you might want to tell her. She's the innocent civilian in this sordid tale of woe.

>>7124836

>I bought my wife and her best friend a bootcamp at the CIA Greystone campus in NAPA

wut

>>7124927
No, and I dont want to tell her, Im going to take that to the grave.

>>7124900
What the fuck? I know everything on 4chan is a work of fiction, but I actually believe him.

>>7124946


http://enthusiasts.ciachef.edu/boot-camps/

>>7124951
Thats because its true. 4chan and other anonymous places are the only place I can be honest.

>>7124966
So how do you sex her? Think about cocks?

>>7124973
Lol, she usually will come on to me, I will tell her to stop it, she laughs, I then realize she wants the d, So I will just put the tv on to sportcenter and I can get hard while looking at thoe guys and I will fuck, her she comes like crazy, I fake come. Wait for her to leave and then I pull up some porn to finish.

Some times I can nut in her, sometimes I cant.

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>>7124984
jesus christ

>>7124806
That's not a cream sauce, that's an abomination

Well OP. If you can't tell her that her cooking sucks you do not have a good marriage or you did not marry the right woman. If you do not have baggage just get out of this as soon as possible. If you do not want to get out of this then openly tell her that her cooking sucks and that she should listen to you because you're a better cook. Out of experience I know that this won't end well.

>>7124984
>gets hard over sportscenter guys
That Scott Van Pelt amiright?

>>7124853
You sadly speak the truth.

>>7124949
you're really denying a massive part of yourself exists, even though it's completely harmless, because you don't want people to know? grow a spine, m9

>>7124984

you have about 4-5 years of this before it will come to a crisis, she'll figure it out, and you'll separate, so i begging you, for the love of all that is holy, don't have kids.

>>7124984
So do you go get a dose of man at the gay bathhouse every now and then?
I'm genuinely curious about this web of lies you've spun.

>>7124984
This just keeps getting better and better.

Fuck the thread's original topic, this is now about getting off to sports center.

>>7124984
>I fake come
How is this even possible for a guy?

>>7125008
If you cum in her she can't know. Moreover if she has a huge vagina.

>>7125000
We have two kids.

I love them both, they are little divas just like me.


>>7124996
eww not for me

>>7125017
You are definitely a virgin.

>>7125005
No I have not been with a man in real life, since I have been with her. I only have porno when she is away.

>>7125008
I make noises and grunt really loudly and I push up against her really hard and then I act all tired, and I giver her a high five and say it was awesome, and the proceed to vape.

Do Americans really enjoy bait?

>>7124806
I can't believe no one is trolling this guy for using sugar cookie coffee creamer..

>>7125018

then start laying the groundwork for custody now
>document any fights she starts
>document her spending/behavior
>get it notarized

alternatively, work your shit out on Craigslist m4m and have a long happy marriage like many other gay dudes but a bitch that uses coffee creamer to cook with does not, frankly, sound smart or stable enough to live with long term.

just my $0.02

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>>7124806
This cannot be real.

>>7125037
He's literally a poof how do we use it against him now?

>>7125026
>cooking board
>calling someone a virgin over something highly possible
Yeah sure man, whatever makes you sleep better.

>>7125045
Its very real, Pissed me off to, Like bitch you used my seasonal creamer. Like pumpkin spice is no longer in my area so it like winter flavors already.

But yeah, she really does suck in the kitchen.

>>7124873
Same.

>my spouse
>they

What kind of relationship are we talkin about here?

>>7125062
a mentally sick faggot not fucking his wife but probably his children

>>7125018
>eww not for me
You like the big strong black ones don't ya? ;)

>>7125030
of course the maximum closeted faggot would vape

this thread is bonkers

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>>7125030
>I make noises and grunt really loudly and I push up against her really hard and then I act all tired, and I giver her a high five and say it was awesome, and the proceed to vape.

>>7124792
>your cooking sucks.
Done!

>>7124873
No.

>>7125062
Sounds like a normal one to me, the only problem is OP started out by trying not to offend the wizards here by not revealing gender details, but gave up as it is too awkward to write that way.

>>7125161

Men can fake orgasms, this is no lie. i had a GF that would cum like crazy after about 3 minutes, like gorilla noises and shit but I've always been a slow burn, i need head and foreplay and about 15-20 minutes of in/out to cum, but it was a chore some nights so I'd fake it after 5-7 minutes of her screaming and say thanks, then beat off at like 3AM when she was asleep

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>>7125295
>tfw minuteman
Wish I could enjoy foreplay and more then 10 strokes.

What were we talking about again?

>>7124908
this rly
is it only me or is it rly just people from the us complaining that they know no woman who can cook properly
where i live nearly every woman cooks everyday and it tastes good
and let me tell you its not a third world country, yours is just filled with lazy ass bitches getting spoiled

>>7125018
>>7125039
totally this, when it comes to a divorce you should be ready
it might not even be you wanting the divorce so be prepared
still wish you luck for your weird marriage

>>7125328
>tfw my bf takes so long to cum, I havent ever made him cum with a blowjob or handjob
I have been working in a bakery lately, hoping to improve my grip and endurance by making breads but no improvements yet

>>7125373
You're probably a bit shit at it too. Show him some pictures of porn stars to help him along, or better yet, your friends.

>>7125295
Yeah I've never been able to get off during intercourse. It's just so exhausting after just a few minutes of going at it.
Unless of course if the girl is on top and knows what to do which almost never happens.

>>7125387
he told me im not and we are always honest to each other, also he takes long when we're having sex too

>>7124806
sage, that has to be a trole

>>7124792
Cook together. Start basic. Get an entry level cookbook, and just start working your way through the recipes you enjoy together.

This will also work for, My wife can't clean, My wife can't game, My wife can't use a glory hole.

Do shit together and you will both get better at it. You learn the most when you teach.

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>>7125491

wtf did i just read

>>7125520
Bait.

>>7125534
idk man. some people resort to some pretty desperate shit when they're lonely.
source: I am a very lonely person

Just tell her she cooks like shit, but phrase it nicely. I did that with my mom, at first she was mad, now she's trying to improve and we cook together.

>captha: select flowers
>only street signs and bananas
Wtf