it's time to post terrible food made by terrible cooks with 100 hash tags
i think this is apples and oatmeal but why is it in a pan
>small portions of random shit with a garnish = fine dining
this is why I worry about ever having a GF, I dont want someone cooking for me when I know I can cook better than them
I went to my friends house for dinner the other night, good god it was horrible. I ate before hand just in case, and its a good thing I did
i really dont understand how people can be so bad at cooking. like it's not hard in any way. you know what tastes good but somehow make food that doesnt taste good. how the fuck do you screw up something as basic as food
>normalfags buying watercress
>putting it into a burrito or some shit
>see this shit
>mfw people tell me my omelet looks bad
why are raw cut vegetables considered cooking
>this is what passes for a salad
at least add some fucking flavor. salads are easy as fuck
>cook without one of the ingredients
why are women so retarded when it comes to cooking? i was making dinner with a chick once and she said that since we were low on one of the seasonings we should just use all of it on the food because it would be useless to have just a little bit left in the bottle. how do they not understand that it doesn't work like that
Take special note of the plastic fork and cup and paper plate.
>mfw watercress grows naturally near me
>mfw it's become the next hipster thing
It's okay guys don't get me wrong but it's not that good
This all can't be serious, can it? I should sign up for all these different social sites just to blow these females out of the water. None of these are 'wifey material' and it really irks me.
doesn't look awful, just looks like a standard dinner to me, I wouldn't be dissapointed if this was served, especially since I'm a fan of blue moon, but it's not 'wifey' material.
The chicken looks dry and a big mound of plain white rice is boring, especiallly servd with some mushy watery zuchini. needs a sauce at least, and maybe 4-5 more bottles of BM
Not true at all. These aren't even meeting the minimum standards. How hard is it to cook? I can't understand how hard it is to cook, but I guess that's because my own mother actually cooked. She didn't show me much, but cooking is really easy. How are they failing this hard? It's not so much that they can't cook, but sith the social sites blowing up and the people the way they are now, they feel they're perfection and no one even hints that they might be failing; just narcissism and praises. So horrifying.
>why are women
You call that, and the females posted in this thread, women? Just as males who have no manly qualities or skill to them, do nothing but eat, masturbate and play vidya, are called man-children- the same thing goes for females, though there's more depth.
Most of the time they know nothing of womanhood. Women are what they should be aspiring to, but they try their hardest not to become what they were made for. A woman is what you want.
just a pic, not tagged or commented on
>tfw new gf actually is wifey material
everything she's cooked for me has been pretty awesome. always fresh and something different. think i might impregnate this one
>Women all post their dreadful cooking with half a dozen hashtags and get a bunch of likes from other women
>Man posts his shitty food with minimal commentary, and his bro tells it like it is
This is why men are the superior sex.
I used to grow watercress in school as a kid, we made little stocking heads and the cress grew like hair, our teacher was into us trying food we'd never seen before, we had quite a few fancy food days.
I was trying to figure out why that looked so fucking awful and then I realised he must have put the god damn rice in there.
He also seems to have made this for a Japanese girl, who I can only assume is laughing her head off at his pitiful attempt to impress her.
That dosn't look too bad. Although if i had made it i would have gone out back and whipped my back for 30 mins then go back in and put another batch of pizza dough to raise for 12 hours
>dat welfare lobster and baked beans
So many of these with the
>don't say I never do anything for you!
I mean, at least they're trying, but even the ones that look edible are incredibly basic. Not more than half an hour in the kitchen. That shit should be standard, not a "hey, check this shit out" kinda meal
I worked at a PF Changs, for 3 years as a line cook during college years, before I got into IT.
I'm a really, really fucking good cook.
But for some reason, it's not like this is a selling point to girls I've met.Even though they cant cook....until I actually cook something for them. It's like they thought I was joking, or that they thought their meager "I know how to make a sandwich' skills were good.
Seriously, I've been dating for the last 2 years, around 4 girls? NONE of them can cook.
What the fuck happened?
My grandma's all like "You need to get a girl who can cook", and I'm like "They dont fucking exist."
You know, in a pinch, well sliced hot dogs, tomato sauce, onions, garlic, salt, pepper, and some oil?Maybe a little sugar?Put em' in a skillet, toss em' around.
Pretty decent alongside mac and cheese.
You've got to be pretty lazy to just fucking throw hotdogs on a pan.
Yea dude, I lived in a 10 bedroom sharehouse in an inner-city suburb for 2 years. Needless to say I lived with over 30 different girls from across the globe.
Only one girl could cook, and she was an absolute whale. The rest of the girls lived off microwave shit, every single one.
How do you cook to suit everyone's tastes? Is this just learned?
I admit I get nervous when I am cooking for someone I know for the first time..
I'm worried it'll be too spicy, or too plain, or just the flavours not balancing.
The only person I know how to cook for are my siblings and my closest friend. They like a lot I make (and thankfully are honest when something isn't quite right, which I have to thank for my improvement). I just don't wanna blindly be like whatever comes out of the #wifeymaterial tag. I actually want to learn.
I just ask them if they're picky about certain things.
My partner says that I'm an enabler for picky eaters but I like having people enjoy my food so much that I'll usually cater to their tastes. I compensate by making fun of them for having the taste preferences of 5 year olds.
If you're worried about the shit your making being like the #wifeymaterial garbage, it probably is. Go look at the comments on this shit, most people say shit like "omg looks so good" because they also have shit taste.
an untoasted bread roll with some iceberg lettuce, overcooked meat and bell peppers and onions that look like they were cooked for an hour.
also not being shit at cooking isn't autism
Youve obviously never had a decent steak sandwich. You NEVER EVER toast that shit. YOu want soft on the inside, crusty on the outside
Go back to PF Changs where you are a "great chef" who just microwaves everything
if you think that looks like it's a roll that's crunchy on the outside (which is why you could, you know, toast it) then you apparently haven't even approached pf changs staffs level of cooking
Whatever mate go back to your /joey/ thread, which the rest of the adults talk about actual food.
I heard he is going to eat fast food slop this week, OH WAIT THATS EVERY WEEK LOL SO FUNNY FATTY LOL
how's being gay treating you? do you have the AIDS yet?
Either way, your partner is right, you're an enabler. Why would you make your food worse so a fucking manchild who should be put down anyways can enjoy it?
Well some foods dont photograph well. And the rest of this wifeymaterial is half premixes..
More like food combinations. I totally undesirable carbs paired with carbs paired with carbs. I dunno man. I just make soup and cakes.
Nobody ruin my fantasy that this is two cute asian girls who live together
At first they joke around that they are like husband and wife
One night trying on lingerie and drinking too much red wine they discover they are much more than friends
and the award for most disgusting food in the thread goes to these, what a disaster.
It feels like very little people these days know how to cook at all. I'm not a good cook but I can least cook average food for myself without completely failing. It's easy once you get down the basics of everything. But people act like I'm a 5 star chef just because I know how to, it's pretty fucked up. I can't even imagine not being able to cook at any age above being a child.
Meh, if someone handed this to me on a lazy day and I never had to lift a finger other than to eat it I would be A-okay.
I cook every day and am lonely as fuck. The idea of a girl working hard to cook something she thinks will be amazing only for it to be a huge disaster is some adorable shit.
My exfiancee was like that. I miss her.
Has anyone been able to identify this?
Where's the friend chicken and watermelon?
Probably delicious despite the poopy appearance.
This could easily become a Hawaii Schnitzel.
>working at a shite chain restaurant does not a chef make
Shake and Bake with canned garbage.
>has never met a modern woman
It's only adorable the first time. Bitch better shape the fuck up and get shit done proper.
No bro should ever want their gf/wife/sis working as a chef in any high energy kitchen. If they weren't already fucked up on drugs, alcoholism and violence and sex offences then they'd be okay in there
I really must have lucked out, because my girlfriend is a fantastic cook. We make each other dinner every time we're at each others' places. She bought Julia Child's How To Cook recently, so we're going to start working our way through that.
something said or done to provoke laughter or cause amusement, as a witticism, a short and amusing anecdote, or a prankish act:
He tells very funny jokes. She played a joke on him.
something that is amusing or ridiculous, especially because of being ludicrously inadequate or a sham; a thing, situation, or person laughed at rather than taken seriously; farce:
Their pretense of generosity is a joke. An officer with no ability to command is a joke.
a matter that need not be taken very seriously; trifling matter:
The loss was no joke.
something that does not present the expected challenge; something very easy:
The test was a joke for the whole class.
I can cook decent meals but like you said, sometimes my boyfriend might just want a hot pocket and cheetos for dinner.
But putting it on instagram is a new level of stupid. No one wants to see the crap i make sometimes just to fill him up..
The problem is that we're deep in Poe's Law territory.
Like, I have a reputation for being a good cook in my friend group. You know the kind of thing that impresses people? Buffalo Pierogi. Which is store-bought frozen pierogi, tossed in hot sauce and oil, and baked for 20 minutes.
That's the kind of thing some people find impressive. I can go make a dark chocolate mousse, or a tetrazzini, or even cannoli. but they're impressed I can coat things in hot sauce.
So some of these are quite possibly jokes. But which ones? Because I've seen stupid people be prouder of worse.
My money is on at least
Because the first one has crying with laughter emojis, and the second, as far as I can tell, is grape jelly on cheese toast, and the third openly points out that they fucked up.
I'd take the bet on >>6329625, and >>6328659
but with the expectation I might lose money.
The rest feel mildly believable.
Why does that look like a black guys shaved head?
A bunch of feminists got butthurt enough over home ec classes to get them removed from schools. Which is pretty sad; as you can see ITT there are many women who ENJOY cooking for their SO but don't know their ass from their elbow in the kitchen. Because apparently teaching basic household skills to women who will statistically probably end up having a family of their own sooner or later is sexist.