Archived threads in /ck/ - Food & Cooking - 483. page

>>9219689
>Fucks up chili

My wife begs me to make like she wants me to stick a finger in her ass while I make it.

A grown man that can't chili is impotent.

>>9219706
wat

>>9219706
>My wife begs me to make like she wants me to stick a finger in her ass while I make it.
>A grown man that can't chili is impotent.
What do you mean?

>>9219581
Subway. "Eat fresh!"
What the fuck in that "{[(restaurant)]}" is fresh?

If Arbys appears smug to you, your bar is absolutely low. Life must be a constant barrage of insults and sleights of hand directed toward you by everyone

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>>9219581
"It's WAY better than fast food!"

In all seriousness, they are both meme knives. Why can't you choose regular steel?

>>9219493
>meme knife
I bet it was tough for your parents bringing up a retard.

>>9219498
They struggled a bit at times but persevered anyway. Love was the key there 2bh.

You're dropping the steak in the pan when it's barely hot enough to melt butter.

You didn't season the meat at all.

Your steak has no marbling.

Your mis-en-place is non-existent

Your knife skills suck the grundle.

Your hood vent is filthy.

You crowded the pan so tomatoes are sitting on top of the steak not cooking evenly.

You're using metal utensils on a non-stick pan.

You didn't let your steak rest for a few minutes before cutting it.

Your steak is already up to medium or med-well, and you think it's not truly finished. You put it back in the pan to kill any semblance of med-rare to medium.

You've got no rice or potatoes or bread.

You think if people could taste food like that there would be no wars in the world. Wrong OP. Food like that incites Sherman-like marches to the sea, to exterminate with fire everything within range of the abomination you have unleashed.

>>9219236
Now, some constructive criticism.

First off, clean your fucking kitchen. Once that's done, your second step is mis-en-place. Have all your ingredients and tools set out where you can find them.

Third comes prep. You should be seasoning your steak with a little salt and pepper, maybe a little garlic powder, or whatever seasoning you like first. Once your steak is seasoned, get your pan hot, so the butter is completely melted. While your pan is getting hot, slice your tomatoes. And for fucks sake, work on your knife skills.

Why the hell would you try to stand them up and slice them, when you've already cut them in half? Lay them flat numbnuts if you're going for tomato wedges. Maybe you mangle your hands and get blood in the food.

Cook the steak first. It should give a nice hiss the second you lay it in the pan. Once it's rare or med-rare, TAKE IT OUT OF THE FUCKING PAN AND SET IT ASIDE! Don't cut it yet. Let it rest.

Then add your tomatoes, so they can cook evenly. When they're nearly done, and if you're bound and determined to eat med-well to well-done steak, then slice your steak and add it back in.

Finally, eat on one of the real fucking plates you have. Quit jamming up landfills just because you're too lazy to wash a plate. I use at least two for nearly everything: one for raw meat being seasoned, and a second for finished product.

Get a second vegetable or a starch in there. Some green beans on the side, some corn on the cob, some potatoes or rice or bread, something. You can buy loaf of bread at the grocery store bakery, slice it up, and toast it in the oven while your meal is cooking.

Final rating: you didn't burn it to a crisp or set your house on fire. You made the effort to use real meat and vegetables, instead of microwaving a hot pocket. I'll give you a 3/ 10 for a bare minimum for being capable of applying heat to meat and vegetables.

You're a useless cunt, never ruin a steak again.

Oh fuck gluten free. Had a guest yesterday ask if Ceasar Salad dressing contains any gluten.

>>9218942
I'm lactose intolerant, have been since I was a kid. I simply order things with no cheese or no milk. It's almost a reflex. I don't do shit like order a chicken alfredo with no dairy.

People that do shit like that should be shot.

I heard stories about dudes who were out on the first date who claimed to have an onion allergy so they don't lessen their chances to get to second base.

I was just thinking about this game and I just drank a glass of refrigerated milk DX

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>>9218941
>he DRINKS milk

>>9218952
>He doesn't drink moo juice

>>9218737
enjoy your heart arrest at 30

>another egg thred

>>9219036
I'm 35. Are you implying that I'm dead? Are you Bruce Willis?

>>9218640
uma delicia

>>9218640
Pizza.
Most Italian food actually.

>>9218640
Fried chicken
Chocolate cake
Bacon

Pizza is better reheated, fuck you guys.

>>9217866
Because you know better than eating crap like OP pic.

>>9217869
I'm a 32-year-old KHV with the worst eating habits in the world. The last thing I need is lectures from 18-year-olds in their freshman year of university telling me to eat "real" food. Maybe that's the culture around here now though.

try again nigger this shit fills me up for 8 bucks.

walnut brittle

They go pretty good in fruit and nut bread.

Lots and lots of pesto.

This is why I store my ice cream in the pantry

>>9217179
Either heat up the ice cream in the microwave or run the spoon under hot water.

>>9217179
this happened to me a lot in college, though I only had plastic spoons
so they would break unexpectedly

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7 days sober till now, just finished off a bottle of wine, feel so happy and degenerate at the same time

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NONE LEFT
STORE CLOSED FOR 11 HOURS
SEND HELP

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>>9215891
3 days ago package store guy offers me a deal on a case of 48 croc tails (frozen drink with 9.9 alcohol). Proceed to drink as many as possible over ice not even freezing them. Stay in bed for two days just feeling organs crying heart in a panic. Cant eat anything because i just gag. still reeling as i contemplate whether to have more or not. fuck me why cant weed just be cheap and legal.

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I decided to triple up on the recipe, and took 900g of beef chuck and minced it up in my food processor, then I did the pancetta. I needed 450g of pancetta, but didn't have enough, so I added about 150g's of bacon to get the ratio right.

The food processor had a hard time mincing up the meat, so I put the meat in the freezer until it just started to freeze, then processed it again and had no problems achieving a pretty fine grind.

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Next comes the soffrito and tomato base.

I diced up 150g each of carrot, onion, and celery.

For the tomatoes, the recipe says to use either "passata", which is basically tomato puree, or "pelati", which means peeled. I had one can of peeled San Marzano tomatoes on hand, but had to add 3 vine grown tomatoes and about 100g of cherry tomatoes to get to the 900g mark that I needed. I cored out the vine tomatoes and then ran everything through the food processor to create a puree, then I pushed the puree through a strainer to filter out all the seeds and skins.

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Liquids on hand.

The recipe only calls for enough beef stock to keep it moist, so I won't be using all of it in this cook. I'll be using the wine to deglaze the pan, and I'll be adding the milk a little at a time towards the end of the simmer. That's pretty much it for the ingredients, except for salt and pepper.

Cream is used in ragu that is to be made for lasagna, but I'm just going to eat this with noodles and don't want the extra fat.

what if the meat wasn't a sloppy pile of diarrhea?

>>9213448
so what some sort of disc of meat?

>>9213451
a cohesive disc roughly the diameter of the buns

Cheese whiz and crackers packs

shitty prepared foods

>>9213348
cleaning supplies and cheap kitchenware.

food? fuck no. maybe a soda.