How can I get my mom to bring me some ice cold water, /ck/???
>>9380474
Burn yourself and start crying until she brings you some ice. As it melts, lap up the sweet ice-cold victory.
>>9380563
im upstairs in my room. I shit the bed just a little. I am just too comfy to get out.
>>9380602
is that you?
so this milfy coworker got me something for my birthday a while back and now her birthday is coming up. what should i make for her?
ive made rhubarb mint moonshine, bourbon tea, and a brown butter tart for her before, but i dont want to do the same thing again. anyone have any recipes or cocktails that women like?
your cock
>but i want to give her a gift
you know how I know you're a beta?
>>9380306
making her those drinks have gotten me a bj at work before so lick a dick
>>9380317
so you're fucking older women? what's wrong, can't get a girl younger than you? beta as fuck
So what'll you have /ck/?
Suicide pill and a cold Pepsi
>>9380198
I'll get a pan seared babies, and are the bees fresh? If so I'll get a bees on wheat too. Both to go please
Pot brownies.
Just pot brownies.
How are you supposed to eat these?
Eat a little soup, tear off bread from the top and eat.
Eat all the soup, then enjoy delicious soup soaked bread.
like shotgunning a beer
>>9380005
Is that you ja/ck/?
Anyone use a food processor? I'm thinking about getting one so I can prep a bunch of veggies in the weekend.
I have one but I don't us it for "vegetable prep" much. Mostly for hummus or bread dough. Sometimes pesto or something along those lines.
I didn't amass $1500 worth of fine Japanese cooking knives just to throw everything in a plastic bin and hit "blend"
>>9379959
True it might slow down my knife training but I'm a bachelor I don't have time to cook.
>>9380029
bachelors have the most time to cook you fucking retard, you don't have a wife/kids who demand 90% of your free time.
Hey, /ck/. I'm going to be making dinner tomorrow. Steak with some seasoned buttered noodles. Of course I will be having a side of vegetables to break up all that richness, but I don't know what would be best. I'm thinking a salad with a vinaigrette dressing. Do you have any ideas for other types of vegetables?
>>9379779
I don knowcwhat you mean by doing the dinner butt i love me some steamed veggies likevcarrot and ppotato amd shit
Steamed broccoli might be nice. Corn isn't bad either in whatever way you make it.
dumbass neet
Hey anons, help me. I like cooking, but I'm not really a beef fan. I don't dislike it but I just think I never had a beef dish that I really loved. So I bought some beef (very lean cut) but I don't know what to make with it.
I made some spicy chilli beef glassnoodles with some of it and it was okay. I prefer seafood though or chicken or even just vegetarian/vegan normally. This is seriously the first time I bought beef on my own.
CAN YA'LL HOOK ME UP WITH SOME GOOD BEEF DISHES. No stew/curry pls.
>>9379764
So you're going to tell me you don't love a good steak on its own?
listen pleb!
This is CARBONADE
500g of meat cut like in OP picture
1 big onion, finely minced
half spoon of flour
half spoon of TRUE SUGAR
2 bay leaves
some thyme
salt'n pepper
spoon of butter
2 spoons of olive oil
3 slices of Honey Spice Bread, some mustard on them
50cl or enough good "ambrée" BEER
LETS BEGIN
In a big pot, put the olive oil. hot. put the meat. Sear. meat out, leave the oil.
Put the butter. wait till it mealts. add the onion. cook it slow till it browns nicely.
Add the meat, the sugar and the flour. mix until no flour lumps. Add the spices. add the beer (remember, all must be submerged in beer, this is from belgium) cover the pot. Let it bubble.
Open the pot, put the bread on top and do not touch it, do not stir now. the bread will do the thing itself. Cover it again and low-medium heat for 2 hours. You can stir it from time to time.
Uncover. stir. 1 more hour over heat or until the meat falls apart in your mouth.
CONGRATS, YOU ARE NOW A CH'TIS
>>9379771
no not really desu. I'll eat it and find it ok but not foodgasm worthy for me
You can't combine two spices that are better than turmeric and black pepper. This is the GOD tier of flavor right here, maybe a little nutmeg in there as well.
Prove me wrong please because I have never found any spice combination that works as well as turmeric and black pepper.
>>9379749
not necessarily good for everyone
https://nutritionfacts.org/video/who-shouldnt-consume-curcumin-or-turmeric/
>>9379749
What spices, at a minimum, do I need to order from Amazon to be able to make a basic Indian curry?
>>9379824
premade curry mixture
wa la
What would Sloth taste like? They don't move around so it should be kinda soft like veal, and they eats fruits or something so it would be light?
Sloths barely have any muscle mass so it would probably be shit
>>9379634
http://www.slate.com/articles/health_and_science/explainer/2012/02/explainer_house_call_what_does_sloth_meat_taste_like_.html
tl;dr not very good and not soft like veal but tough and gamey
>>9379634
Rape. It tastes like rape.
Does /ck/ use any recipe apps?
GNOME Recipes
/ck/ has a recipe website so I don't see why you would. It's like ck booru or something just Google
>>9379447
>breast
not thighs
>>9379986
Sleepy time chicken and all of DinoTendies recipes better be on there
Made my first ever bread. It ended up being too big so next time I'll split the dough in half but overall I'm pretty pleased with my first ever attempt at baking bread. Tasted pretty good though.
Just one question, how do I keep it fresh for longer? I swear after a few hours it already began drying up.
>>9379415
>how do I keep it fresh for longer?
When you go to cut slices out of it start in the middle, then push the two ends together after removing your desired slices. Keep as little of the crumb exposed to the open air as possible.
>>9379415
Add some oil to the dough. 1 tablespoon is good for about 2 lbs of dough and won't change the bread very much. Try 2 tablespoons if this isn't enough.
>>9379415
A few things on stale bread.
Sounds like you cut it when it was still warm out of the oven. Even though its super tempting to eat it when it is still steamy out of the oven this will make it go stale faster. wait for it to cool to room temp before cutting it.
Ascorbic acid - litraly vitamin C. It stops one of the main mechanisms of staling, called retrogradation. This is when the water molecules that are separating the starch from forming long chains fall out (dehydrogenate/degelatinisation) and allow it to recrystalise with other sugars in the bread.
The more gluten in your bread, the slower it will go stale. So longer knead/higher protein flour.
>>9380025
Fat does also help with the bread going stale. But 1 tbs will make a slightly noticeable difference to the dough imo. Fats will also "lubricate" the gluten in the bread. Think of gluten as a rubber in the bread, its made up of two types of protien that are like long stretchy pubic hairs all tangled up. The more you knead the dough the more you develop the gluten and the more there is, but triglycerides (fats) will let the protien strands that make up gluten slide past each other. So your rubber becomes less like a hard bouncy ball, and more like strechy gum. One tbs will change it a bit, but give it a try.
Do you have anymore crumb shots? Also whats your recipe.
Btw that looks pretty freaking good, especially for a first attempt.
Chili. Out of all the frozen/condensed/prepackaged/canned/whatever convenience food that is out there, honestly the one that works best as a tasty, hot, cheap easy meal is canned chili
That being said, Wolf Brand Chili is the only way to go, it soars above all other brands which usually taste to sweet (yuck) and you're BETTER off going with the "no beans" variety, because really the beans are just filler and why pay the same price for something that's 60 percent filler rather than all chili?
I like to cook up a bowl of Wolf, add a few squirts of hot sauce, and pepper in some cayenne for extra heat, and enjoy with some crackers
Feel free to discuss your chili preferences here
>>9379410
I like staggs
>>9379410
>not making your own
The fuck out of here with this canned garbage bullshit.
>>9379410
>No beans
Not chili
I'm straining greek yogurt to make cream cheese.
I want to use some for bagels, what should I put in it for a savory spread? I've only thought of maybe chipotle or chives, but I want ideas.
>>9379145
Cum
>>9379145
The last time I strained, blood came out. It was bad times
dill and smoked salmon
fuck I made myself hungry.
>gin or vodka?
>which brand?
>dry or wet?
>stirred or shaken?
>olives or lemon garnish?
>dirty?
dr pepper
>>9378996
>Vodka
>Popov
>Dry
>Shaken
>Pearl onion
>No
Gibsons 4 lyfe, breh.
>>9378996
>>dry or wet?
>>dirty?
chocolate milk got on the rug. how do I get it off
soak it with a little murphy's oil soap and hot water. Blot to clean up and let it dry it'll be the cleanest spot in the room
oh boy you dun goofed now, better prepare your anus for when your parents find that shit
>>9378970
Piss on it. It will literally break down the chocolate enzymes. Then just dab up the piss with some paper towels