Lolita insecurities

I'm a 6'1 male. I basically became anorexic in order to find clothes that fit me and it's still a nightmare. My girlfriend is 5'4 and everything fits her like a dream, I hate my body.

>>9608494
I'm a 96cm DD, and I know that feel bro. Worse, I wear Jfashion pretty much daily so there is no "lolita time"... it's just all the time. Still, I like the way I look and when I do find clothes that fit I look great. It's just a struggle.

Might I suggest skirts over dresses? I tend to have an easier time when I can mix brand bottoms with off brand tops.

>>9608494
I know your feeling. I am a tall Lolita with a DDD/F cup. All dresses I have/have tried on look bad on me. Normal waist dresses sit like empire dresses, only long lodices look good, but brands barely make them and the ones that were made are meh. I am also a big OP fan and some do fit, but just look bad on me.
Skirts do look good, the only problem that remains then are blouses. I can't find any blouse that would fit my bust size comfortably that isn't gigantic at the waist. I feel like custom sizing is the only think that would cather me, but I have zero trust in the services some indie-brands offer.
Sometimes I really feel like the Lolita style isn't made for me, which it isn't, but I love the style so much and the style itself fits me so well. I wish I was born with a different body.

I think I look pretty in the mirror, but I don't know how to smile in pictures and then I end up looking like a man because it makes my jaw look huge.

>>9608517
To add to the list: I diet a lot and while it helps my burando fit and look better, it makes my face look older. I just can't win, gulls.

>>9608494
If your sizing problem is not weight-related I don't see why you shouldn't alter OP you like so much?
If you were a fatass I'd tell you to lose weight, but it that's not an option you should make the fabric fit around your body, not the other way around.

I have wide shoulders, wide hips, and a huge ribcage. It feels like because of my ribcage I'll never be able to fit into unshirred stuff. I lost a ton of weight recently and while I lost 2 inches from my bust and hips, my waist measurement didn't change at all. It also sucks when a blouse fits perfectly except for the shoulders.

>>9608494
I'm a DDD with the same boob size in cm and I had the same feels for the longest time. Except I hated my boobs outside of lolita too because I felt like I couldn't be cute and have big boobs at the same time. But now I'm happy with my breast size for multiple reasons. the biggest one is being able to call them my King DDDs. But I'm also a huge weeb and I just tell myself I'm like those moe anime girls with big tits. This makes me feel better in lolita too. And I don't really care if not everything fits anymore. Most dresses I want are shirred and stretch enough anyway.

Now the one thing I hate is my waist. All my weight goes there so while I'm technically an average weight for my height (though almost overweight), I still have a really fat stomach. Every other part of me looks normal, but I'm 5 feet tall with a 77 cm waist.

Okay, maybe I'm not so much like those anime girls. At least my boobs can still get smaller as I lose weight.

>>9608494
Oh god I'm such a wreck
>ED
>currently BMI ~23, not super fit
Pls Asian genes give me more than funny eyes
>tall
>social anxiety
>don't wear much fashion outside of professional occasions and Lolita


Still, I love the fashion... wearing it, seeing it, improving at it. Like the cheesy Novala poem says, it's my frilly armor and it lets my personality free a little bit

>>9608494
I don't feel like I can wear lolita or j-fashion when I go out with my girlfriend even thought she insists she's fine with it. Being a same-sex couple gets stares, dressing weird gets stares, I feel like I'd be bringing even more unwanted attention to her if I combined the two.
I hate being a self-loathing lesbian

>>9608494
My manners.

I grew up in some shitty white trash lakeside community where everyone's drinking and smoking pot around their kids. I've got a foul mouth and am used to being around real acerbic people. People think I'm an uncouth bitch. They're probably right. Super terrible social anxiety too and it's hard for me to meet people.

For these reasons, I just make clothes and accessories and don't actually wear the stuff myself -- though I'd love to.

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I feel like I have a somewhat conventionally pretty face, but my skin has been so bad for the past 2 years (even with derma help) and my eyes are so crepe-y. I have to smooth the shit out of my skin in pictures before I'm confident enough to post them.

>>9608523
taking things out is often difficult to impossible depending on the cut and size difference.

I feel like my face is too ugly for Lolita. When I was chunkier my face looked better but now that I'm losing weight my face has thinned out and it doesn't look as soft and cute-ish. I'm not sure what to do to fix it. I guess I'll be skinny and ugly :/

>>9608544
Anon are you me
My girlfriend is really sweet and has tried to get into the fashion so we can match since I dont have any lolita friends. I never wear any of my dresses cause to scared of getting weird looks from people.

>>9608548
Hello me.
It really is a terrible combination, but we'll live i guess.

>>9608599
>local girl just wants to wear pretty clothes but her mom gets cigarette burns on her dresses and/or lets her dog pee on them

Thinking about getting fillers in my face. My face looks too gaunt for sweet Lolita. Why can't I just have a skinny body but keep some fat in my face?

I sweat a lot due to a disorder and i feel gross all the time unless i use very lightweight fabrics. My friends force me to wear a jacket even in the summer but i rather be a little cold than start sweating. It's not like a lot but it makes me feel so gross and stinky. And i already shower more than i should and wear deodorant, so. Wish i had asian genetics. Those lucky bastards.
>>9608614
Oh come on. I'll give you my fat face, i don't want it. I want cheekbones. Cheekbones!

I'm not kawaii enough to pull off the more cutesy or childlike styles. Fortunately I can pass for ~5 years younger than I really am and fit into everything I like, but I'm still clearly a grown-ass white woman so I feel like I look ridiculous in sweet and certain kinds of oldschool lolita. Lately I've been moving towards more mature and flattering classic styles but I still have some BtSSB in my closet that I love too much to sell, yet look so silly in.

Part of this comes from the fact that I'm looking for a job and realising that three quarters of my wardrobe would get me laughed out of any job interview, and part of it comes from being more active at meetups lately and seeing how awkward some of the other girls in my comm look in lolita, especially sweet. They're having fun and that's what counts but damn, if I wasn't so steeped in the fashion that I knew exactly what they were going for, I'd think some of them were developmentally delayed. What if that's how everyone sees me, too?

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I know that outside of places /cgl/ im not really that big (5'2 and 120 lbs), but I can't help but think I'm too huge for this fashion and bursting out of the seams of my outfits. I used to be a lot smaller when I was younger, but then I got big and cgl pointed it out, and I'm terrified of getting comments about being fat again. I don't have a tiny waist either, I'm curveless and built like a refrigerator, so lolita is the only style I look semi decent in, but many skirts are still too small on me.

I wish I was still 13 years old and a size zero. Also my chin is big and I'm aging, soon I won't be able to wear sweet at all anymore.

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I feel like I have too mature a taste for the style I like. I'm not even super sweet, I like the sweet/classic blend. But Idk I just don't feel cute at all.

>>9608656
Pls mail me your face fat. I love round baby faces. Grass is always greener.

My nails. My nail beds are small and I can't have nice nails because they drive me insane/I work with my hands. I've been admiring gyaru for a while but know I couldn't do it because of the nails

>>9608602
Holy shit, anon. Please tell me you can get away from this woman ASAP...

>>9608733
Gal nails are a huge part of the fashion, but if you are rocking the rest of it no one is going to judge you. Some gals don't wear circle lenses, others can't wear nails. It's fine.

>>9608544
The funny thing is, as a brolita I actually get less stares when going out with my boyfriend than when just dressed casually.

Broad ribs, makes me look wider and bigger than I am. I can't wear OPs and brand blouses because I'm too wide. Muscular calves, really want stick thin legs. Being a sweet lolita while having a prominent nose, I would love to have that ideal cute babyface.

>>9608760
I did years ago haha
now she's old and I take care of her sometimes but I have my own place and am a responsible adult™

the scars run deep though

>>9608494
My face and not having a job due to how cripplingly depressed I am (working on that atm but i feel like shit, whenever i buy something i feel like shit for doing so.)

I feel like a butterface in every picture I take because my chin is huge and I have really droopy double eyelids and super pronounced bags under my eyes. No matter how happy I am or how nice my makeup looks I end up looking like a stroke victim in photos, or like I haven't slept in two days and want to throw myself in front of a car.

Maybe this will get better now that I have glasses. Who knows.

>>9608701
Don't feel like you have to force yourself to have a different taste to feel cute! Many Lolitas have very mature tastes, such as FannyRosie but she is still part of the fashion.

I'm an all-around sweet Lolita, but I'm not into toy print OTT. I like 2013 - current AP best. It's my taste, so I don't think it's a requirement for fitting into sweet.

>>9608494
I guess you only wanted to show of your boobs

>>9608872
cause everyone thinks you are a female

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I feel ya'll on that big boob trend.

I am in the process of loosing weight, (I'm down two dress sizes and twenty pounds right now so I'm feeling good about that at least) but my boobs are still too big. I bought a few OP's on sale from brands and while I can get them over my waist just fine now as soon as I hit the chest its a struggle.

I also really dont have any lolita friends and so I feel too nervous to wear stuff out (I do have plenty of skirts and stuff that fit so I can wear my non OP's out) so it just feels like a losing situation for me right now. I keep hoping that the smaller I get that maybe my confidence will boost again but who knows. And with a lot of the dress's I do have that fit pretty good I still dont want to wear too much because I keep telling myself I'm going to keep getting fit and I dont want to stretch anything out by accident.

But the dress's are just so damn pretty I cant stop myself.

Ditto on the big boobs thing. I have dream dresses I know I'll never be able to wear. Oh well.

I'm a lonelita in a comm that's statewide. It makes me feel really lonely, like there's absolutely no connection. I feel awkward and stupid when I try to talk to the downstaters. All I want is a group of mature lolitas to gab about lolita with!!

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I have mild scoliosis and thanks to that my body is asymmetric, for example one hip is bigger than the other one. I can't wear anything from normal to low-waisted since it sits weirdly. For the bright side I have tiny boobs so empire waist and sack dresses fit me most of the time. I just don't like the hate they get.

>>9610317
I think those cuts would be a lot less hated if they weren't everything that AP released lately. It's nothing personal to you, it's great that you found cuts that work for you.

>>9609009
>broad ribs
>muscular calves

Are you sure you aren't just fat? Brand blouses can be really forgiving and as someone who has a large chest I have a hard time believing you can't fit in unless you're like 6'2" and built like a man or fat. Like my overweight friend who weighs 160 can fit into AP's more recent OPs just fine and you can't?

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>>9610331

>>9610331
NAYRT but at 140 / 5'8" I can't fit into AP for shit even though I'm not "fat" yet. Obviously I'm in the process of losing weight, but AP fit me best when I was closer to 110 even though I could still squeeze into pieces until almost 130.

Just because you can put it on it doesn't mean it fits.

>>9610331
nayrt but I'm 5"5 and a little less than 130, have a huge fucking ribcage 32 inch underbust and wide shoulders, and have a lot of trouble fitting into AP blouses because of my stupid shoulders. I look incredibly wide unless my petticoat is super poofy, and even then I know I would look 1000x better if I had small shoulders.
I'm assuming anon meant unshirred OPs as well because I have no issues with shirred ones. Regardless it really sucks, I wish I weren't so wide

>>9610362
So drop down to 110 again, it's not hard. Notice I said it fits my fat friend "just fine." I'm saying this girl who is overweight manages not to look like a stuffed sausage in it so I find it hard to believe she can find non shirred OPs that fit her and yet that anon can't and claims not to be fat.


>>9610363
You're chubby at that weight though, if you lost weight things would fit you better.

>>9610369
I am losing weight, nonny, don't worry. But your friend probably has a petite frame despite being fat, is what I'm saying. I'm thinner than her but it doesn't fit me whereas it fits her, likely because I'm tall and therefore my bones are larger. I can weigh less than she does and still be bigger because I'm a giantess.

>>9610369
Is this bait? 5'5 and 130 isn't close to chubby. My highest weight was 130 at 5'3 and I was "curvy" at best.

>>9610369
I am and have been losing weight! Stuff fits me a lot better in the waist and arms. But my shoulders haven't changed at all. While I don't doubt that continuing to lose weight will help me fit my clothes better overall, it won't change the size of my frame. Like the other anon said your friend who weighs 160 probably just has a smaller frame and shoulders so it's easier for her.

>>9610381
>someone has a different standard for what is chubby so it must be b8

I'm 5'5" and I thought I was chubby at that weight, it's not b8, I'm just very critical and hold high standards for everyone.

>>9610372
Keep on losing weight anon! You'll feel so much better when you do.

I recently lost a lot of weight, 40lbs, and hoped I'd look better in both lolita and normie clothes, but I really don't. I think it's because I have wide shoulders and a large ribcage like >>9610363 said, and I look like a little hungarian washerwoman.

I don't dare try mori girl, then I'll just look like Mrs. Tiggywinkle-chan.

Ever since I got into lolita I feel super anxious about my measurements. I can't stop comparing myself to other girls and thought about getting the "perfect body". I'm 91/66/92 and I feel real big when I hear about girls with a 55 waist and 70 hips...

>>9610434
Are you too tall to achieve those at a relatively healthy weight?

If you can lose weight to get there without being in danger go for it. A few tips that work for me are

>intermittent fasting
>no dairy
>no salt
>2 liters of water a day
>3 cups of green tea a day

A lot of people don't realize how badly bloating can fuck with your measurements.

>>9610434
>when i hear about girls with a 55 waist and 70 hips

i'd imagine that the person would have to be very short, or else that sounds worrisome. don't compare your measurements to people who are different heights than you. it's dumb.

>>9610440
I'm 158 cm and weigh 50 kg.
I've never heard about intermittent fasting before, it sounds really interesting I might try it thanks!

>>9610331

nayrt but I fit into AP's OP dresses if they have back shirring but not their blouses. I'm 17" shoulder tip to shoulder tip. I basically look like I put shoulder pads in everything I wear because I'm relatively slim and proportionate compared to my god-awful shoulders.

So I mean, you can fit into one thing a brand puts out but not another. It's not that unbelieveable.

>>9610445
Intermittent fasting REALLY helps with bloating I find. Best part is you can eat your normal amount, just don't eat after a certain time. I usually go for 13 hours a day(I sleep through 8 of the hours)

>>9610443
I have never seen someone post that they have 70cm hips. 70in, on the other hand...

I have 80 cm hips and feel very small. Then again I'm a banana with no shape to speak of.

>>9608517
if you have an iphone their selfie cameras make everyones jaws look stupid big. try samsung

i'm 4'11 and weigh 145 pounds
i fit in brand but sometimes i really gotta squeeze myself in there
however im losing weight so i hope i'll get to a normal weight after this.... but i feel like im losing motivation. im still dieting but i quit exercise cause i loathe doing it. i don't know what to do about myself, i just want to fit in my stuff perfectly and not feel like a fat fuck when compared to other lolitas

>>9610244
The more weight you lose the more over all weight you'll lose which includes your boobs. I had the same issue as you but lost a few more pounds (not too much to get sick) and it came from my boobs. Also working out and doing chest exercises helped me go down a band size which helped dramatically when it came to fitting my girls in a dress.

Don't give up hope, anon. You'll also gain more confidence as you keep going and grow happier with your results. Eventually, if your'e still nervous, you just need to give yourself a push and start off small then work your way up to full lolita.

>>9610440
>>9610445

make sure you're eating at least some salt or else you're going to end up with a goiter

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I really like the shape of my face and eyes but I always feel insecure about my "Italian" nose. It's not super huge but I always feel like it's not very cute when I'm dressed up or cosplaying....

>>9610935

You only really need iodine supplementation to prevent goitre, not necessarily salt (you can get iodine from seafood or seaweed, or as tablet supplements). My main concern would be drinking too much water without the addition of salt (barring that hopefully you're taking in enough salt in your diet to prevent this) would cause low sodium in your blood. This can lead to anything from vague fatigue to at its worst seizures and death. Please don't ever take things to the extreme - everything in moderation, including moderation.

>>9610922
i feel you anon, i'm the same height but 10 lbs heavier. at my fattest, my waist was 35 inches and now it's 31. we just have to keep going, we can do this!

I'm insecure about my destructiveness.

Every time I wear lolita, I damage something. Today I wore bnwt IW socks for the first time and now they have a hole in them from my toe. Last time I wore lolita, the same thing happened with my meta socks.
I just fucking destroy everything and I would wear it so much more often if it didn't break all the time

I'm way more of a fatty-chan than probably everyone in this thread (5'1" and 228 lbs) and hearing people almost 100 lbs lighter than me saying they're too fat for brand isn't giving me much hope for my weight loss journey...
I have a BtSSB JSK with an empire waist and I wonder if I'll ever be able to squeeze myself into it (the measurements on their website say the bust fits 33.07 ~ 36.22 inches and I'm about 44 rn, so uhh, I can get in on without zipping it, but the waist sits on top of my bust lmao...)
I've already lost a few pounds, but it's gonna take a looooong tiiiiime to lose enough to get my measurements down for 90% of the stuff I want...
At least I really like Bodyline and other indie brands that go up to fatass sizes so I don't have to wait a year or some stupid amount of time to actually wear cute shit

>>9610943
big noses are super kawaii, anon!

>>9611008
How much are you eating, anon? I'm ED so you probably shouldn't listen to me, but if you just eat healthy/normal 5 days a week and then restrict calories on the other 2 (spaced out during the week, you just eat broth based soups) it really helps!

>>9611018
I started using MyFitnessPal to count my calories, and considering the first few days I was using it I was going "Holy shit, that really has THAT many calories?!" I must have been eating really reeeaaaally bad for a long time.
I'm making much better choices now, but I'm reluctant to cut out fast food breakfast (I am not a morning person, especially before work) and sweet sweet delicious iced coffee in the morning. Maybe I'll start drinking iced green tea or something every other day... I gotta do it for the burando.

>>9611008
Hi there, I'm a similar build to you, and similar feels.
Like >>9611018 says, I'm a disordered eater so maybe don't follow my advice, but I lost around 45lbs since January by eating a fruit salad everyday and stretching it out over two meals so that you're essentially eating just the fruit salad and then dinner every day.

I put in an apple, a banana, a pear, a peach/nectarine, and some strawberries, fresh cherries, blueberries, blackberries, and raspberries. Cut the fruit into fingerbites and then pick away at it all day as you get hungry. It's a lot of fiber so drink lots of water.

I also cut out all soda and other beverages entirely and replaced it with a fruit juice or smoothie that has as little sugar and weird additives as possible, and decaffienated green tea. I also drink at least two litres of water per day. I make sure to sleep 8-10 hours to maximize as much time as possible between dinner and breakfast, and I take vitamins because I find they cut down on cravings.

I also skip dinner entirely three times a week and replace it with a salad with carrot, baby tomatoes and kale and mixed greens/herbs.

I wanted to find an ED-friendly site with some tips on vitamins to take etc so I don't fuck up my heart or anything but all I could find was to drink gatorade sometimes to fix your electrolytes and to try a certain kind of "super yogurt" to help with stomach ulcers.

>>9611023
(Ed anon again) My favourite breakfast is oats, yogurt, frozen berries, cocoa powder (not sweetened) and walnuts. Or grated apple and yogurt. It's much healthier than a sugary drink, and will keep you going longer through the day. I have a major sweet tooth as well. But if you're trying to lose weight the foods you eat should sustain you as opposed to just giving a quick rush.

>>9611013
No they're not.

>>9611018
>>9611034
>>9611036
>"I'm ED so don't follow my advice"
>proceed to give detailed ED advice
You could've just not said anything. Don't drag other people into your disorder with you.

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>>9611023
I started on MFP too. Its actually really useful. I know the calorie estimates arent always right but it really does make you reconsider everything you're eating.

Worst for me was realizing how much a costco muffin is.... But now i'm averaging just about 1000-1200 calories a day and I'm seeing slow but steady and healthy progress.

But hey all for fitting into that brand man.

>>9610931
Thanks for the nice reply anon!

I hope that they keep going down. I like my body generally speaking but I wouldnt mind if things shrank a bit up top.... running is not fun let me tell you. And obviously fitting into brand can be difficult.

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Tfw having perfect measurements for Jfashion (82-56-83) but 5'6 tall with 41cm shoulders and weird nose. Wish there was surgery that'd make your body cute and tiny.

>>9611008
Do you live alone anon? If yes it's super easy for you to lose.
- meal prep the day before for your breakfast (overnight oats, a salad, there is even low calorie chocolate milk and sirups)
- never carry around more than a few dollar and leave credit card at home (can't buy fast food that way)
- make a save up bank account where you put all the money you'd spend on food and spend it on cute dresses instead
- if you love to snack, make sure to always carry around a cute box with carrot sticks, apples, cucumber, mini tomatos (make sure it's a cute box though, that way you will feel a lot better eating out of it)

There is lots of meal prep videos from tasty so you can prepare your entires week food easily.

>>9611008
Dont lose heart anon!

I was one of the ones posting earlier, I've been working hard for about 3 months and I've dropped from 200 pounds (5'6") to 175 pounds and still going.

Losing weight slow kinda sucks, I also got a decent amount of brand I cant fit quite yet, but I know I'm getting there. The important part is to just not drop the pounds to quick or you can mess up your resting metabolic rates.

Enjoy the cute dress's you can fit now but keep going you'll get there!

a lot of >>9611181 's advice is pretty on point! Ive lost most of my weight by completely cutting out fast food and soda which made a huge difference, and making an effort to track what I'm eating honestly (even if I go over some days)

Good luck anon!

For everyone losing weight, I highly, highly recommend the Whole30 program. Research it, buy the books. My sister and mother are both on it, and my sister just placed in nationals for triathelons. My mother looks 20 years younger. People think she's my sister. You also FEEL better. My mother suffered from anxiety issues. Since she's started on Whole30 and stuck with it for a year, the difference is clear: she's happier, more balanced, and isn't anxious. Her overall health has gotten better too.

Since -I- started more or less following Whole30, I feel calmer. Lighter. And my back issues have gotten better. Of course, it's not the only thing I do. But eating more plant-based food and good fats in the morning, 0 to little carbs, plenty of protein, and little to 0 dairy (I have to imbibe in cheese) actually works. And study food labels. None of that processed shit.

>>9611277
Your farts must smell horrendous.

Being a brolita sucks. I'm always worrying about

-Hair growing everywhere
-I have no boobs
-Facial hair growing
-Always keeping my weight down so I can fit into dresses
-Look like an ugly man face even with makeup on

>>9611364
I think you have to realize you're trying to dress in Lolita, not be a woman. Embrace your man face and hairy face/everything.

The only things that are actually problems is the fit, like you said, keeping your weight down and stuffing a bra so it looks right.

>>9608494
I'm skinny and a 32D but I wish I was shorter, skinnier, and flat chested so I could fit more pieces, especially IW blouses

>>9611367
Some people prefer to not look like shit

>>9611374
It's not a matter of not looking like shit, it's a matter of you're a man and can't expect to actually look like a woman.

Either stop bitching or transition.

>>9611380
Well, maybe you can't look like a woman, but you can try to look cute at least.
And as a brolita myself: Beards are not fucking cute.

>>9611380
>either grow a lumberjack beard or take female hormones

What the fuck are you on about

If you can take the time to stuff your bra you can take the time to shave and wear makeup jesus christ

>>9611081
Lol I noticed that too - luckily I know better than to eat nothing for a few days or eat basically only fruit. I do gotta eat healthier and could stand some more fruit in my diet, so I can pick out good gems from the bad behavior.
>>9611034
I applaud your weight loss and snack advice, but I do hope you seek help. I'm pretty sure your diet sounds like those super-vegan "clean eating" diets that usually stop when chicks notice their hair falling out from lack of nutrients.
>>9611080
Big noses can be super cute and quirky, fuckhole

It makes me a little bit sad to read everyone hating on themselves. I'm sure most of you guys still look super cute in lolita despite your insecurities, too! But working to improve yourself never hurts either (I just got a green tea and oatmeal from my local place this morning instead of coffee and a sandwich, woo).

>>9611013
Big noses are manly, not cute.

>>9611389
I didn't say that, that's your own deluded interpretation that only leaves room for extremes.

Please seek help for your major insecurities.

So what I'm taking away from the thread is that most people on this board have some form of an ED or messed up body image

>>9611424
Hi newfag

>>9611421
>Embrace your man face and hairy face/everything.
>Either stop bitching or transition.

These are your fucking words

>>9611431
>embrace something you are born with and stop worrying about it so much= live with a lumberjack beard
>stop complaining about not looking like a woman or commit fully

You're so deluded it's frightening.

>>9611431
You should probably calm down, I think being so angry is making you miss anons point.

>>9611433
This thread is a lolita insecurities thread. That anon is allowed to feel insecurity about his face or body, that's the entire point of this thread. If he doesn't like his facial hair, telling him to do the opposite of what he wants isn't doing him any favors. You're trying to invalidate his feelings on the basis that he was born male, which is stupid.

>>9611439
I'm allowed to try and cheer someone up/tell them to live with it and or tell them to simmer down when they get their panties in a bunch over nothing.

This is 4chan, if you want to complain about "invalidated feelings on the basis that he was born male" you should probably head on down to tumblr.

>>9611439
Welcome to 4chan kiddo.

>>9608494
100% agree anon. I'm a 34DD and a medium/small everywhere else, and while I like them normally, it makes me feel so fat when I have to look at the plus size clothes just for my chest. It's a bad feel.

>>9611443
You could say "you're fine just the way you are" or "just live with it" to every single complaint in this thread. You told that anon that he should just grow a beard and not give a fuck, and he said that he doesn't want to do that. Then your response was "stop bitching". Don't pretend you're being nice to him or 'trying to cheer him up'. You're just being an asshole.

>>9611446
Stop trying to police the way other people phrase things because it hurts your feefees.

I'll say it to you too, stop bitching. This is 4chan, it's obvious you are new here so i suggest you either man up or leave if you are so easily offended.

>>9611446
Please calm down newfriend.

>>9611435
Not that anon, but what exactly is the point? That beards and lolita go well together? Because they don't.

>>9611443
The whole point of this thread is to complain about stuff you were born with and which you have to live with.

>>9611451
You're not hurting anyone's feelings. It's just aesthetically questionable to claim that body/facial hair and lolita go well together. I for one strongly disagree with that claim.

>>9611456
Nobody said they go well together.

Jesus it's like you people don't even read the posts before replying. It makes you look really fucking dumb.

>>9611424
Yes, the majority of this board is 100% represented in this one thread with 52 individual posters. You totally caught us there.

>>9608494
>thread about boob's in dresses. Nobody actually post their boob's in dresses.

And you expect us who actually know how to tailor to help. How?

>>9611461
Sorry, then. Because that honestly is what I read from “[…] trying to dress in Lolita […] embrace your man face and hairy face/everything.”
I can see your point for the man face, but for the beard… Everyone can shave (even though a dark beard shadow is quite difficult to hide still), so if you agree that beards look stupid in lolita, I don't see why you would say that people should just embrace them if they feel like getting rid of them is a pain.

>>9611470
...and here comes the "no loli gf" "post yer bewbs" incel trolls.
Everybody hang on, it's all downhill from here.

>>9611471
Embrace it or do something to actually change is what I said, learn to read.

>>9611476
Why would you actually suggest that someone transitions as a way of dealing with facial hair over just telling them to shave?

>>9611478
This person complained about many things aside from just facial hair, including not having boobs. Again, I beg you, learn to read.

>>9611476
You didn't say anything like this in your first post. And I had assumed by “transitioning” in your second post you meant taking hormones or something, which is a bit over the top just to get rid of a beard.
(Also, hormones won't help you with getting rid of a beard, as far as I'm informed.)

>>9611481
>>9611480

Why can nobody on this board read??? I'm honestly worried for you all.

>>9611480
But you did say that facial hair is not actually a problem.
Maybe you should learn to write?
By the way, the “again” is misplaced, because that post was from a different anon. So there are multiple people here who apparently misinterpreted your posts.

>>9611485
Do you know the wrong-way driver joke? How someone gets on the freeway, and here's the traffic news on the radio say “Attention, there's a wrong-way driver on I-95” and he shouts “ONE? HUNDREDS!”
Maybe you should learn writing, or at least acknowledging that your original words didn't quite convey what you really meant -- which is completely fine, you know.
Just tell us what you mean and we can work with that. But if it's “Stop bitching or change”, then see >>9611446 .

Wearing lolita makes me more acutely aware of how the skin on my face is showing more signs of age. I'm also 5'9" and my arms are always too long for brand blouses and I have knobby, veiny hands. I'm more insecure about the fact that I spent all this money on dresses I love, but barely wear.

Upon reading this thread, I gotta say this but losing weight isn't a magic ticket to your life getting better. I lost weight but I didn't feel any better. I actually felt more depressed. Before you commit to any weight loss you need to supplement it with some sort of psychotherapy because you can lose the weight but if you don't challenge the underlying pathologies to why you became fat, you're just going to wind up back where you started, fat and miserable.

>>9611488
Holy fuck, "again" isn't misplaced because I am once again asking for someone to learn to read. I don't even know what to say to you at this point because you seem so misguided and unintelligent that I just feel bad for you.

>>9611485
I think it's because most people that come here are looking for something to get salty about

>>9611473
I'm not even into this loli bullshit. I'm from /diy/ came here for some sewing patterns for everyday items. And realized its a total cluster fuck..

>>9611496
That explains why nobody can be rational with me.

>>9611497
Then why are you in the insecurities thread

>>9611493
Forgot to add for the love of god lose weight for yourself not because you want to be acceptable in /cgl/'s eyes because you'll never be good enough for /cgl/

>>9611503
They were also in the "Things that instantly make you hate a cosplay" thread bitching about how autisic we are.

>>9611503
Because. Read the last part.
>it's a total cluster fuck here.
There is no "Normie sewing general." everything is about making retarded clothing that a child should be wearing. Or making you look like a 3d weeb.

>>9611507
Even /po/ is less autistic then this place.

>>9611509
/pol/ is more about trying to win gold in the edgelord olympics while /cgl/ is just pure distilled autism.

>>9611513
What do you know, another person who can't read.

>>9611508
Of course there is no normie sewing thread, this board is for cosplay and Jfashion. What else did you expect? That's like going to /tg/ and whining that they're not discussing any PlayStation games.

>>9611516
No I read I was agreeing with you

>>9611493
Giant 5'1" anon here - I did struggle with depression for a few years, but it's under control now, and I'm improving my life (got my own apartment with my fiance, going back to college in the fall, feel like I have a future instead of a depressing eternal fate working in retail or fast food, etc.). Now the only thing I feel that needs improvement is my weight. I got engaged and thought about how I could wear my mom's wedding dress, but she was literally half my size when she wore it, so I figured I should start workin' this chub off.
I also was talking to a friend before going to New York and she told me there was a BTSSB store there, so that just rekindled my interest in lolita and gave me another reason to lose the pounds.
I was never overweight as a kid or teenager, just when I became an inactive sad sack of an adult. I think I have the power to become a normal-sized content sack of an adult now. Then I can wear more frills!

And yeah I'm fairly new to cgl but I've already seen people call girls fat when they're almost stick-thin so lol

>>9611520
Read again you idiot.

>>9611495
My point was that I'm not the only unintelligent anon here. I'm sorry that all of us are so stupid, but that's the way it is on 4chan. Maybe you should go somewhere else where there are more actually literate people like you.

Other than that, I know that you just want to insult all of us stupid people at this point, but please know that I was honest when I said I was sorry I misunderstood, and that I'm honest when I say thank you for trying to make people feel better.
But it would be really nice of you if you could not insult people in the future and instead tried to help them understand what you actually mean instead of just calling them dumb, because, you know, whenever there's a misunderstanding, usually both parties are partly to blame. And if multiple people misunderstand you, it's rather unlikely that all of these people are just illiterate.

I hope I got your original point now, and I agree that we all have to make tradeoffs between who we are, what we want to be, and what we can change at all, and be happy with whatever we can achieve.

>>9611523
>My point was that I'm not the only unintelligent anon here. I'm sorry that all of us are so stupid, but that's the way it is on 4chan. Maybe you should go somewhere else where there are more actually literate people like you.

You should go to a doctor, sodium levels this high is sure to be unhealthy.

>>9611523
English isn't your first language, is it? It can't be.

And yes, it is actually pretty likely the people who misunderstood(more like didn't even fully read before responding to) my post are dumb as fuck.

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>>9611522
I don't know why I was reading it as /pol/ and not /po/. I really can't read today.

please dont fucking derail this thread

>>9611518
• Sewing & prop-making
• Craftsmanship tools/materials & tutorials
• LARPing

>right there in the sticky
Yet we have folks here who critique but can't hem their own damn dress pants.

>>9611531
Lots of people in this thread seem to be struggling with it today.

>>9611538
Why not? It's basically just another feels thread.

>>9611540
If you come in here expecting normie sewing threads because of the sticky then boy do I have news for you,

>>9611540
Normie sewing threads with zero relation to cosplay, Jfashion or LARP would get deleted for being off-topic. Go back to /diy/.

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Well on an insecurity, I'll jump on the nose self hate train. Lolita is a fantastic fashion for my body at 84/66/92 and hides my rather shapeless butt/thighs, but nothing can save a bad face. I've been a lonelita for two years and am considering joining the local comm for companionship, but I always worry about my looks. Lor, while people may love or hate her, I think is a very nice and kind person even if her coords and ideas don't always hit the mark, but most of the time when she's shown people point out her nose. Mine is thin, but boy does it have a hump. Completely ruins my profile and makes my genetically sunken eyes seem even deeper.

I know I shouldn't care about other's thoughts and I'm lucky it's just a nose that is my biggest issue, but ugh does it bother me. It's such a small thing but dramatically effects how you look. I'm actually planning on asking if I have a deviated septum this year as my grandma and my aunt had it and they also had the hump then had a nose job. Maybe I'll be lucky and be able to have it partially covered by insurance.

every time I dress up in Jfashion someone asks me to my face these things
>are you a tranny?
>are you a man?
>are you a drag queen?
>are you a boy or girl?
or sometimes just straight up laugh at me and tell me "men shouldn't wear dresses"

I'm 100% female, but I'm nearly 6 feet tall.

It makes me feel ugly and gross when I dress up.
I'm married, and want to tell my husband I want to get Facial Feminization surgery, but my friends keep telling me i'm pretty already?
I have a face shape like 60's cher except with plumper lips...

I'm emberassed to approach my husband and tell him I want full facial surgery and my boobs done. Its been 10 years of me being harassed by strangers for this. I'm done. I just want to feel pretty.

>>9611718
Cher looks like a tranny anyway, wouldn't say you're pretty. Your friends are trying to make you feel better by lying.

>>9611711
Seeing people bash on Lor is what made me even way more insecure about my nose. As soon she is posted, people immediately call her manface, ask if she is male and point out her nose.

I want to get surgery but I have other things I rather spend my money on, I'm also terrified of being put under for surgery.

>>9611711
I been considering a nose job too, but still going to school rn so won't have enough money.
And if it makes you happy, why not do it?
Like you do it for yourself to feel prettier and not for other people to think you look better.

>>9611718
how do you do your makeup?
Lashes, circle lenses, liner, and the right hair cut can really feminize the face a lot.
>I think 60s cher was pretty

>>9611725
Because it's very highly likely that it won't make you happy, just be sure to manage your expectations because that'll help but it isn't a magic wand and it's likely you'll only want to fix it yet again or will have mild dysphoria due to the change. It also takes a year for the swelling to go down so it'll take a long time before you can decide whether you'll be happy with it or want a revision, I would only really recommend it if your noise is extremely malformed.

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>>9611720
>>9611726

Every time I wear a coordinate I'm proud of, I always think about posting in the draw thread. However, I was told off by several people last time I did, so I've been too afraid since.

>>9608494
I'm in my early 30s and don't want to stop wearing it.. like ever.. but I still worry about it because people 35+ are expected to dress a certain way.

>>9612188
Keep your doing your thing, anon. As long as it doesn't get in the way of your work or lifestyle, wear what you want.

>>9612188
I'm 36 and wear old school (and some other fashions like western goth, seifuku, cyberpunk) and most people seem to be fine with it. I get a ton of compliments every day from strangers. The only people that ever say rude things or act like little kids seem to be around the 16-25ish crowd, but it's still rare. Everyone else seems to like it. I have been told I look at max mid 20s though (which I don't get, but I'll go with it) which might help.

>>9612212
I'm similar in that I look mid 20s as well. I worry about when I don't anymore (35, 40, 50, up?)

I know at some point everyone just loops over to being "so old nobody cares anymore" lol

I'm really bad at posing, every photo I look awkward in

Also I can't wear circle lenses to be cute. My eyes keep watering and turning red every time I use contacts and it makes the photos even worse since I can only wear glasses. I just want to be cute ;_;

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I'm fat. That's basically just it. My hair is a bit flat, my nose a little crooked and I'm kinda bad at posing, but for some reason I think these things are problems I can work at, but for some reason losing weight is just so hard for me. I've managed to lose 4 kg in the last couple of months, but I've gained back 1 kg and I just feel like incorporating a healthy diet and regular work-outs just isn't possible at the moment.
It doesn't help I'm starting to develop a depression, but every motivation I ever had is just non-existent. All I do is working full-time, doing chores and feeling depressed. I can barely even look forward to my Japan trip or Halloween.

>>9612224
I look awkward in all my pictures as well. I don't know what to do with my face and every thing I've tried just looks really bad.

I feel you on the cute thing though. :/ It's hard feeling cute with an awkward face and being 5'9" with wide shoulders and hips. Lolita is really the only thing that makes me feel somewhat pretty and that is basically in feeling alone, because I'm sure I look awkward like always.

>>9612226
I know it's kinda hard, but eating 'healthy' doesn't need to be hard. I was 300 pounds once and now weigh 150. cutting out dairy and soda/sweets and eating a low carb diet helped me so much. I have really bad depression as well, so sometimes I can't even do much at all let alone cook, but it's super easy to throw together some meat and veggies for meals, and when even that fails, snacking on seeds or veggies, nut butters, canned tuna/pre-cooked meats etc is super easy. I know it can be hard to start, but once you do and start seeing progress it's so much easier. look to the future and keep your goal in sight instead of giving up. if I can do it, so can you.

>>9612242
Thank you so much for the supporting words!

My biggest problem right now is my work schedule and my boyfriend. I just can't seem to fit proper meals into our schedules. I'm basically working 8 to 5 everyday and I still don't know how to cook everyday. I can't eat at work, because for some reason I get stomach cramps from it, so I basically have to somehow eat before and after work.
Now my boyfriend doesn't really eat breakfast, so if I eat breakfast and he doesn't, he gets hungry a lot earlier than me and either eats at work (and doesn't eat woth me after work) or snacks a lot. Usually I skip a healthy breakfast, because eating by yourself is lonely. But the I get really hungry at work and eat unhealthy snacks. Then my boyfriend and I are really hungry after work and eat high-caloric stuff.
Idk, I just don't know how to not be hungry while at work and still eat together with my boyfriend.

>>9612188
>>9612212
I'm only 26 but I'm already feeling that feel.
>The only people that ever say rude things or act like little kids seem to be around the 16-25ish crowd
This encompasses my entire comm. Even the girls who are only two or three years younger than me keep saying how they're going to stop once they reach a certain age and that wearing lolita as someone nearing 30 is weird. I apparently pass for 18-20 so people tell me all these things to my face with a smile until they find out I'm one of those creepy old hags, and then things get awkward.
I'm mostly a lonelita anyway so I'm not letting these people dictate what I wear, but it still stings to know that even my own community thinks I'm fast approaching my expiration date.

>>9612214
I can't wait for the cool granny stage! Unfortunately the in-between awkward midlife crisis stage isn't so fun and lasts much longer.

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>>9612244
Is your boyfriend overweight too or oftent buying unhealthy food?
What can help you is have a skinny/healthy friend or a professional go shopping with you. Sure you know what is healthy and not, but you need someone to kick your ass and prevent you from buying more stuff that you don't need.

About motivation, you already have a starting point that you aren't happy yourself with your weight.
How about your boyfriend? Is he happy with your weight? Are you happy with his?
Get him to work out with you. Go to a fitness course together. It should be something you have paid for, else you won't be motivated to do it. And having someone to go with you makes it a lot easier.

I used to be very unmotivated about losing weight too, but this 'tumblr motivation' I found actually inspiring.
It makes me consider that if I don't start losing weight now and keep pushing it back, I will be way too old to ever be skinny enough to fit into cute clothes.

>>9612365
He put on a little bit since we got together 5 years ago, but doesn't really care about losing it and he's fine with me being how I am. Basically I'm the one trying to make us live healthier while he loves to be lazy and eat unhealthy food.

Also, we're both paying for a gym membership for more than a year, but he has no intention of ever going there again. If I try to convince him to, he tells me to go alone, because he doesn't care for his health (sometimes I get stupid responses like "Idk if I die earlier if I at least enjoyed it"). How do you even try to motivate someone like this to change their diet and work out?

Also, sadly I'm the only person in my whole family, friends group and workplace that even cares about eating healthy and leading a healthy life. With 77kg at 163cm height I'm probably even the skinniest person around me, despite for my underage sister and my coworker who used to have ana. So my surroundings constantly tell me to not worry about my weight when I can barely fit my burando.

>>9612412
Not the anon you were replying to but I'm in a similar boat as you friendo.

My whole family is really big, I'm still chubby (but getting smaller) and easily the smallest of my realitives. It can be really hard to keep motivated in an envrionment where it feels like no one else is trying.

Honestly I encourage you to go to the gym by yourself then! You need to make friends that are on the same journey you are. Not saying you have to be close but making friends who are also working out and trying to eat healthier makes all the difference. Try attending a class at your gym, just chat, be friendly, you'll meet some one whose nice to talk to and friendships will form! It really helps keep you motivated.

My case is a bit extreme but it wasnt until I moved countries that I really started to get motivated, mostly because I was starting fresh and the friends I made around me were like minded in how we ate and worked out.

You cant change your friends and loved ones if they arent willing, but you can make more friends.

You'll start to fit your brando better after a bit of work! I believe in you man!

>>9612412
>>9612425

And adding on to what I was just saying- about the food thing is try to prepare ahead of time.

I'm a teacher so I'm at work by 7 and I dont leave until about 4 So I dont have a lot of time in the morning to pre make lunch or cook breakfast. My breakfasts are usually fruit. Something I can just cut up and eat on the go (pineapple is my favorite). You might want to consider packing healthier snacks to bring with you too work. I usually keep stuff in my desk.

And also its a matter of not letting the temptation be around you. It can be easier said than done if say your work has a vending machine filled with stuff. But at home just stop buying snacks. It can suck especially when you have a hankering for some cheetos late at night, but its the best way to break the habit. Fatty and sugary foods are addicting (something about the dopamine centers in our brains I think) and it takes some concentrated effort to break the habit.

And start tracking your calories (my fittness pal is good) dont worry about setting a limit just yet, and dont stress if you go over, but it really helps keep in perspective just how much is in what your eating and slowly helps shift how you think about fast food and snacks vs what the cost is. Its a lot harder for me to rationalize McDonalds now when I know how big a portion those fries will take out of my calorie limit.

>>9608494
173cm / ouji / casual j-fashion(s)
I weight less than much lower girls and sort of fit/healthy so no fat in cancer generating parts, still nothing fits.

I gave up some time ago. More time to focus on school and success but still makes me a bit sad.

>>9612412
I think you really need to find some friends that have a similar mindset as yours.
Just letting that gym membership going to waste sucks too. Maybe you could ask in weight loss forums if anyone wanna go with you and they could use the card of your boyfriend? (works in my country)
Else you could also quit the gym memberships and go to a local dance class etc. It's a lot easier to find new friends there, even when it's hard to go alone.
Had a friend of mine who went to weight watchers and she said she found a lot of new friends to hang out with after work.

Also does your boyfriend like any sports?
Football, skating or climbing maybe?
If he can't motivate himself to the gym, maybe he'd like to do something he likes. You could bring some of his friends along too.
Hell even bowling is sport.

But don't let the people around you drag you down and focus on your own goals!

>>9612553
Bro I'm 180cm and 170lbs. Some brand pieces fit me. You just have to keep looking.

>>9612188
>>9612214

I think we're starting to shift into an age where we're becoming older kids, we don't have to grow up anymore, we don't have world wars to face (yet) and fewer of us are having kids which means more money for hobbies and less responsibilities. We can't afford houses anymore, and we don't have to worry about what our neighbors think. The old way of expectations are dying, embrace the new.

>>9612214
>>9612315

>cool granny stage

This is basically why I'm spending a small fortune on skincare alongside my burando. If I'm lucky I'll still look young-ish when I'm hitting 40, then once I hit 50 I'll just stop dying my hair (presumeably I'll have white hair by then), and then loop over to cool granny practically overnight.

Not sure what to do if I have kids, though.

>>9612315
I still get mistaken for a teenager. When I was 18 people always thought I was like 13-15 and now that I'm almost 24 I get mistaken for a 16-18 year old even in normie clothes. I even had a co-worker tell me
>hey not to be rude but I didn't think they hired people your age
I must have a chubby baby face or something.

Every time I dress lolita or talk about it around my family (mostly when we are visiting because they live out of state) my mom always tells me I'm trying to 'look like a child' or how creepy it is that grown women are trying to 'look like children.' I know she's older and I don't expect her to get everything I'm into to but it really bothers me that she thinks that I'm doing some kind of pedophilia fueled fetish thing. It makes me feel insecure about dressing up in general.

>>9612425
Thank you for your kind words anon! I'll try to find someone who will motivate me!

>>9612432
I'll try to follow your advice and pack healthy snacks to eat at work. Now I just need to find something I can actually eat everyday so I don't get bored of it.

As for the calorie tracking, I've been using myfitnesspal for quite a while and we're not buying sweets anymore. Though sometimes my boyfriend will buy some late in the evening if he craves them. I end up eating sweets mostly at work when I'm low on blood-sugar, because I didn't have breakfats again.

>>9612804
Sadly my boyfriend doesn't like any kind of sports. He had a really good metabolism his whole life and basically was thin because of it (and he always had jobs that were physically demanding and now he's working in IT). He said he won't do anything unless he hits the 90kg mark. Tbh I was hoping he'd start going to the gym with me once he saw how I'm making progress, but I stopped going as well. It sucks, I just need to get my ass off and work out. Would probably help with my back pain as well.

>>9612315
I wouldn't let a little shit talk bother you, it's obviously being sprung out of insecurities, it can look great at any age, what you look good in and interests in style to fit will change so just go with it and enjoy the ride.

>>9612226
Go to /fit/, read the sticky and count those calories.

You'll start to shed weight at a reasonable rate.

>>9611718
Do you wear wigs? An unnatural-looking wig could be what's making people think drag queen.

>>9611718
it's because ur 6 feet and look like cher. cher has a pretty manly face. also dont use circle lenses unless u want to look like a creepy retarded alien.

>>9611726's advice is shit.

My eyes look like sideways vaganias in each and every picture. I have prominent eyes and look like a cartoon character if I don't blur the shite out of my lids and dark circles. They're not very common so there's next to no tutorials for them that don't involve dark vampy eyeshadow or a thick liquid cat eye.

>>9618253
You should add a picture of yourself or someone with similar eyes so it's easier to understand what problems you have.

>>9618253
There's a girl in my comm like this and I feel sorry for her (she actually looks okay IRL but it's more noticeable in pictures). I always thought that a bit of black liner (doesn't have to be super thick) would help to define the lid a bit more, or maybe lashes covering it up.

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>>9613129
Same with my bf, who is a chain smoker and overweight.
I don't mind the smoking part, since its a really hard habit to break. Due to really stressful work, he doesn't have the time and nerves to stop yet.
But losing our weight is something we both have agreed upon.

Unfortunately MyFitnessPal did nothing for me, I saw what I ate, but after a month sticking under 1300kcal per day, sometimes going to 1500, I still haven't lost any more than maybe 2kg.
It wasn't enough for me, so now I changed my diet.

Don't call upon the approval of your bf, he will start to follow you once you get results.
It also helps to find a pairing - fetish - or anything like cute clothes.
I like the anime "Ore Monogatari" which has a big guy and a small girl - exactly the height difference my bf and I have.

Even though my bf doesn't do anything for his weight right now - once I've achieved my goal of kg, I will have the "right" to push him.
>"If I did it, you can too."

Whether he does it by doing activties, joining a gym, or just lifting, is up to him.
I think the most important thing is to be a good example for him.

>>9618431
>It also helps to find a pairing - fetish - or anything like cute clothes.

I meant something for motivation, Sry.

Another big boob anon here (34DDD). Fuck you Innocent World for your gorgeous designs and unaccommodating bodices. I'm at the point where I could stand to loose 10 lbs, mostly in the waist but hopefully in the chest too, but how do you girls do it? I fucking hate exercising and eat pretty healthy as is. Drink tons of water, no soda or chips... I'm not looking for any crazy weight loss, like I said just 10 lbs or so. Only asking here cuz I saw discussion of diet and stuff earlier in the thread.

I worry about being seen the same coord multiple times but I don't wear lolita enough (once or twice a month) to justify spending ridiculous amounts. I have a decently sized wardrobe that works for me and I don't want to sell my dresses after only wearing them once. Oddly enough I wear the same few normie outfits all the time and I don't care about that.

>>9618435
No one cares if you wear the same coord multiple times. There are a couple of outfits (both lolita and not) that I wear every single week with no to little variation because they're so comfy and just work.
Don't feel like everything needs to be ~creative~ and new!!! all the time. It's fashion, not a costume.

>>9618431
You don't mind that your bf is on the fast track to lung cancer?

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>>9618444
I don't really expect him to live longer than to the age of 40 or 50 max. My dad died at 42 aswell.

In my bfs family everyone lived longer than 80, everyone has either alcohol or smoking habits.
Except his mother, who lives a really healthy diet without any grain or gluten. Without alcohol or smoking. She did heroin in her 20s

>>9618431
>>9618434
Sounds like to me that both of you are on the birth control pill?
Don't expect to lose any kind of weight while being on it.

I've recently had to stop wearing contacts and start wearing glasses and I feel like it makes all of my coords so much frumpier. Like the glasses take me from "girl who is dressed up" to "otaku who is dressed up." It doesn't help that the only frames that suit my face are huge so I look really lame in OTT sweet when I used to be so comfortable in it.

I'm probably just overthinking it but I'm going to be stickering over my face until I get lasik. Ugh.

>>9618448
Yeesh.

>>9618453
>"otaku who is dressed up."
Aww, but I bet that's so cute though.

>>9618453
Why not just take your glasses off for photos? Not everyone can wear contact lenses, be it fashion lenses or prescription ones.

>>9618451
Holy shit I hadn't even thought of that. Fuck, I don't want to give up my manageable periods but I wonder if you're right.

>>9618485
It's a very common side effect.
Friend of mine was on birthcontrol and she ate 500-800cal a day and lost like 1kg in a month.
I used to take it too, used to have a very high metabolism, never had cellulite or mood swings.
1 year of birth control and I gained 15kg, got cellulite and mood swings.
It's been 5 years now and my metabolism has been normalized again and I feel alot better.

>>9618485
>>9618451
>>9618501
why do people still take the pill when it's known to cause so many bad side effects? there are a lot of other options available. please try the ring or something and end your suffering. everyone i know (including me) swears by it.

>>9618451
I'm not fuck huge or anything and so far I've been pretty successful at losing weight... But I can't stop taking bc but apparently its hindering my weight loss. What the hell am I supposed to do? Condoms are a huge pain in the ass and they ruin sex for me and my bf.

My only option it seems is diet and exercise but I'm worried I won't get past a threshold cause I like having sex and can't afford to have kids not to mention having a kid is not the way to lose weight.

>>9618512
get an implant instead of the pill
there's at least 20 different forms of birth control for women currently and they at least had a hormonal male birth control for men in testing

>>9618511
This. The bc is probably the worst you can do to your body.

>>9618512
Get a copper coil. It's around $150-250 and lasts for 5~10 years. Cheaper than BC with no side effects or hormones.
Are you or your bf currently pay for bc?
You could probably convince him to support you in getting a coil since he will benefit as well.

>>9618467
Thanks anon. I think I'm just going to buy pink frames and hope for the best.

>>9618480
I mentioned pictures but the issue is more that existing while wearing my glasses and lolita makes me feel like a dorkimus maximus. A picture is only a blip in time--I still have to put my glasses on and exist afterwards.

>>9618515
No I had my IUD taken out cause his dick is too big even after I had the strings trimmed and sex was painful. Sex is much better now without it.

>>9618523
Does that get implanted in my vagina cause no thanks

>>9618528
>his dick was too big
so let me get this straight...
his dick was so big he was hitting your uterus and that hurt ONLY when you got an implant?
is this a guy role playing?

>>9618501
>>9618511
I've been on bc since I was around 15 so I never gave much thought to the fact that it might be the cause of my problems. Currently educating myself, thanks for the advice anons.

>>9608602

If she has good friend then she could ask to put her lolita cloth on friend's house so her mom can't spoil it? Well if those are expensive, then maybe not. There is suitcase that has the lock on if that helps...

>>9618529
Not that anon but my boyfriend has stabbed his dick on my IUD strings before.

>>9618515
>implant
Holy F*, no.. I am really afraid of any injection into my body. Haven't had any vaccinations since I was 13 (and forced by my mother).

>>9618523
Same here.. it just feels wrong and I've heard its not even protecting well.

I've tried the ring, but my bf actually swore he could feel it during sex?
Currently I'm on a pill with a smaller dosis of hormones. Maybe it'll work?

>>9611008
WORK ON/FIX ANY SELF-ESTEEM OR DEPRESSION ISSUES YOU HAVE FIRST ANON.

I'm 5'3 and 260 right now. A few years ago my highest weight was 230. I buckled down and told myself I was a horrible piece of shit for my weight and made it down to 160 pounds. I had a lot of muscle and was in the best shape of my life, but I hated me.
I starved myself, made sure I was exercising before work/class every day and before I went home every night. I'd come to this board and shitpost other fatasses just to make myself feel marginally better about being a lesser fatass.

Fast forward two years: I got a bf, graduated with my second college degree, and was hired into a stressful sedentary job I despise. Mixed all that with depression, apathy, and anxiety. One health crisis later...and BAM. Within two years I crept back up to where I am and now.
None of my brand fits.
My lolita friends forgot I exist because I literally can't go to meetups.
I want to kill myself because I still hate myself.
And all that work I did to get where I was discourages me from trying again because of how quickly it was taken back.

I'm warning you. I'm not even trying again until I get my mental shit in order.

>>9618590
If you eat a lot of sugar it can be the cause of your depression as well. Or worsen your current.
Keep that in mind anon. Hope you can get it fixed!

>>9618601
I don't keep any sweets in my apartment.
My problem is that I don't exercise and eat too much of the meals I cook that would be just fine in correct portions. And I just don't care because I don't care about myself right now. It sucks, but I warn anyone going under major weight loss to consider their long term feelings.

>>9618523
>no side effects or hormones

It's more difficult to place particularly in nulliparous women so it can be a more painful procedure, and you often can have increased menorrhagia (increased bleeding during periods) with the copper coil (compare with decreased periods for the Mirena). Just like the Mirena, you are also more likely to get PID should you happen to contract an STD, and just like the Mirena, the device has a very small chance of embedding itself in the uterine wall and causing damage.

So please shut up about how ~natural~ the paraguard is. I'm very pro long term contraception but know the risks and would never flippantly say any birth control has no side effects.

>>9618689
>doing a mini research project to refute another anon

you forgot to cite your sources, no wikipedia

>>9618698

It's my pet peeve when people present things as "natural" with no side effects. There's a lot of misinformation in this thread which I can't really address without derailing it entirely, but I've seen people regret just about every form of birth control because they weren't adequately informed of the risks. This is something I wanted to address. Sorry you got triggered by a part of my job I do every day and happen to know this information.

>>9618590
Sorry to hear about your troubles - hopefully you can get yourself sorted out so you can wear brand again.
You might've missed my other posts - I did say I suffered from depression for a while, but it's under control now (meds, good support network, not feeling like my life is a total shit-show anymore etc.).
I even like myself more than I did as a skinny/normal-sized high schooler. Mayhaps I bought into the tumblr fat acceptance shit too much, but the only things I'm really unhappy with are my big arms and double chin. I don't mind the rest of my shape.
But, most of the fashion doesn't fit me even though I like it (plus my feet really hurt when I stand or walk for a while and that won't pan out well when I'm older, I imagine), so I'd like to make myself fit it. I've found that staying within my calorie goals for the day isn't very hard, since I've only gone over maybe two or three days out of over a month. I haven't started working out yet though, but the college I'm starting in a few days has a gym at the student center so I'm gonna check that out. I've lost a few pounds already, so hopefully it'll go a little faster once I hit the gym - plus being in better shape is never a bad thing!
I hope you can get help, too. It's frustrating, but you did lose weight once, so it's possible to do it again!

>>9618706
>thinking anons take suggestions without doing their own research first

>>9618706
>sorry you got triggered
it was supposed to be a joke, anon... geez.

Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one in my comm that have no interest in cons. Everytime I go to a meet up, all everybody talks about is "con this" and "con that". I really don't care about them and I feel pressured like I should.

Also, while I love the designers of Lolita clothing, I don't see them as GODS. I'm thankful that they do what they do, but I feel like if I don't fawn over them or know their names, "how dare I call myself Lolita!"

And I feel bored at meet ups...I thought that i would meet people with similar interests by going to them, but the girls are so YOUNG. I'll be 35 and I could care less about Facebook/Instagram/Tumblr. I just feel like such an outsider sometimes.

>>9618787
I'm the same as you, but a lot younger.
Cons are super boring and everything is overpriced.

I love my handmade dresses. I think I'm pretty good with a sewing machine but handmade lolita is so looked down on! I think if you don't make something well for lolita from scratch, then you're not really top tier lolita. But with that being said, people's view on handmade makes me feel insecure about the things I make even though I know they're awesome and great.

>>9618814
>I think if you don't make something well for lolita from scratch, then you're not really top tier lolita
>implying the ultimate lolita spirit isn't consumerism and not lifting a finger aside from checking my credit card number

>>9618814
Handmade lolita is looked down on because 99% of it is shit and the rare ones that aren't tend to be made by people who have a background in professional sewing. Also I find that most people who have the "handmade lolita is best lolita" rarely ever look decent because it's mostly girls trying to make themselves feel better about the fact that they can't buy/wear brand for whatever reason.

But hey man, you do you.

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I love lolita as a fashion but I also like it as a fetish, except I realize lots of lolis hate me for that. And I can't blame them.

I have a lot of money so my closet is expansive, and having sex in my favorite coords is my passion. Makes me feel like a disgusting piece of garbage but that's okay. In my comm I think of every girl getting fucked in her coord and it gets me wet.

I'm a piece of shit.

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I know this is a super minor complaint compared to most of the stuff ITT
but my gums show a LOT when I smile.
I'm terrible at taking pictures and legitimately look like a different person on camera, so I'm already self-conscious, but I feel like I can't genuinely smile too.

I also have extremely veiny hands and arms but I don't mind that nearly as much when I can wear long sleeves and gloves.

>>9618830

I was with you until the part where you imagine every girl getting fucked in your coord and then I was like nope.

I have sex in lolita and I think it's fine to have sex in lolita as long as you treat your clothes like clothes and not museum pieces to be venerated and never washed. I always hand wash my clothes afterwards.

>>9618529
I had the implant for 4.5 years and then I met him and yeah he's like 12 in and it was very painful. I got it removed and now its great.

>>9618833
Ugh yes I wash them absolutely. Sex is pretty dirty.
For the girls in my comm it's hard not to. They're dressing up and looking their best;great coords all around. Exclusively girls, so if they come off as lesbian I imagine them with another girl but some you can tell LOOVE the attention from guys in public.

>>9618840

>12 in

Lol ok.

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>>9618401
They're commonly known as "Bette Davis eyes"

>>9618787
I'm near your age and I feel you, I'm not into cons or cosplay or bjd. I tend to be pretty good at carrying conversations and with the right ladies in my comm, most of who are younger, I can have a really satisfying conversation.

Conversations about releases though, or knowing specific print names I just don't give a shit. I get why it's brought up though so I deal with it, but when that's all there is to talk about? It's awful, it's so dry.

>>9618412
Yeah, I try to curl my lashes as much as I can but a curler wreaks havoc on them and I can't stand falsies (in general I have a very low tolerance for uncomfortable things around my eyes, could be the 'tism idk). Irl/in the mirror they look nice, people rarely notice anything past "oh you have big eyes huh" but for some reason they look super meaty and cartoonish in pictures.

>>9618852
He's really tall too. Do you think professional basketball players have average sized dicks?
Nothing about what I'm saying is far fetched.

>>9618989
Can confirm.

>>9618983
If your eyes really look like Bette Davis you're probably fine, the girl I was thinking of has much puffier eyes than that (maybe allergies?)

>>9618989
This is almost as sad as listening to boys talk about bra sizes

I really don't like how my face looks in photos.

It looks horrible in photos other people take for me, and at home I have to take a good 30-50 different photos just to have a semi decent one.
After that I still have to shoop that photo to get a final product that looks good enough to post.
I get that this is pretty unhealthy, I have a huge complex about my face and have considered plastic surgery to fix my nose.

>>9618989
Hes prolly like 10 and your overestimating it but cool story bro. Im glad it no longer hurts tho anon

>>9618989
Being taller doesn't make your dick longer retard.

why are y'all talking about dicks in the lolita insecurities thread

>>9619228
Same here. My main issue is with my jaw, which is slightly crooked and sticks out too far. It only looks decent if the photo is taken from a higher angle but even then you can see my chin isn't exactly in line with the rest of my face, so I always edit every photo of me to fix that. I've approached an orthodontist to help me fix my underbite and hopefully my jaw, but he says that jaw surgery is too invasive and not necessary to fix my teeth. It's apparently very risky too, and he said jaw surgeons won't take that risk for a purely cosmetic reason like mine. So meitu it is...

>>9619275
It was a rhetorical question. Please take your dickscussion somewhere where it's relevant.

>>9618814
In my experience, the only handmade lolita that’s looked down upon is really bad handmade lolita. Whenever I wear a handmade dress to a meetup and people find out it's handmade, a group forms around me to ooh and ahh and tell me how amazing it is. I'm not even a great seamstress, just a lazy amateur who takes months to sew a single piece. There's also a professional seamstress in my area and owning one of her custom pieces is a much bigger status symbol than any kind of brand, and rightly so, because her work is gorgeous (and expensive).

I agree with >>9618828. If people in your comm are looking down on your handmade pieces, you're probably not as good at sewing as you think you are. If people can even tell it's handmade just by looking at it then that's a bad sign.
My comm also has several handmade lolitas who claim that everyone hates handmade, but in reality we just don't fawn over THEIR handmade, because it's not good. They're not open to constructive criticism, either, because they think they’re already amazing and it’s everyone else who’s wrong. It's kinda frustrating to see people like that talk shit about us and call us brandwhores just because someone suggested they try an invisible zipper or press their seams. I inadvertedly humiliated one of them at a meetup because I suggested she try a different method to attach collars to blouses and she got all huffy and said “Sweetie do you sew? Obviously not!” and several other girls pointed out that I made the dress I was wearing. Awkward.

>>9618817
Lolita did start as a DIY fashion and brands grew from that. I'd love to see more quality handmade too, but nowadays it's so much easier (and even cheaper) to just buy secondhand brand and taobao that sewing is more of a related side hobby than a necessity, so I don’t blame anyone for buying every component of their coord.

>>9619284
Dickscussion is always relevant.

>>9612187
by people in the draw thread or others? as of lately, the draw thread hasn't been critiquing coords

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>>9612412
he sounds like he isn't taking your fitness goals, and thus health seriously

that does't mean he's bad, just that he hasn't considered that his health and yours affect a lot of people.

his inability to take care of himself is affecting you, for example. yeah ideally "you should be 100% in charge of your own fitness", but when dealing with depression, your entire environment defines your motivation and ability to proceed.

I had the same issues, and supportive partner was the first step, tossing out all the garbage food was the 2nd.

It might seem wasteful but it's cheaper than our wellbeing

>>9618512
Try finding different size condoms, or Female Condoms

Google "Nominal width", and try using lubricant if you havent

>>9619425
>tossing out all the garbage food was the 2nd.
couldn't you have donated it to a food bank or something so someone with more self-control than you could have had it? it does seem wasteful.

>>9619442
the subsidized grain in the 4 packages of weekly oreos is worth less to the shelter than the can of beans I could have donated instead

If you have a ton of snacks, donating is a great idea! I hadn't thought of it

>>9619445
Ah, if you didn't have that much to start with I can see why you didn't bother. I was imagining it like on weight loss shows where people have whole cupboards full of hundreds of dollars of snacks in their house.

>>9618451
Does anyone have experience with weight loss while on the shot (depoprovera)? I've been on it for almost a year now and I haven't really lost or gained anything, so I'm wondering if it's the shot itself or if I need to try harder (aiming to lose 20 lbs)

>>9619709
I managed to lose weight (about 5lb, starting from a healthy weight but high-ish body fat) on Depo. I started training for a half-olympic triathlon 4 times per week, average 30-60mins per session but with a set training program so fairly high intensity/short sessions. 2 swim days, one run day and one cycle/run day because I'm a decent cyclist, average runner and terrible swimmer. Diet wise it was "eating clean" i.e. only drinking green tea/water, mostly unprocessed foods/low fat protein sources, lots of fruit and leafy veges, not restricting myself if I was hungry and 3 "cheat items" per week where I chose one thing I wanted to eat that wasn't on the list of stuff I was allowed (e.g. fried chicken with salad and diet soda rather than chips and a milkshake, or I would have icecream after a healthy dinner). I'm bad at the full cheat meal thing because I generally just eat a whole day's worth of calories in a single meal if I get to go all out. I also moved away from processed carbs and sugar i.e. no bread, cookies, etc. but still had starchy carbs like rice, sweet potato, pumpkin. Cut out potatoes because I only like them mashed with a fuckload of butter or in chip form. It wasn't a huge amount on the scales because I definitely put on muscle with the cycling and swimming, but it was definitely a visible change.

If you haven't lost/gained anything then it's likely you just need to mix up what you're doing - weight is usually a reflection of your overall lifestyle rather than just one aspect of it which is why looking at both what you eat and what you do is important.

I'm 5'1 and I weigh 140 lbs. I feel like I'm too fat for lolita.

>>9619888
This is a question aimed towards any gull who is overweight or insecure about their weight: what is your diet/activity level like in a normal day? This sounds super bitchy but I can't imagine needing to eat any more than I already do, so people at a similar height and heavier than me fascinate me.

>>9619913
It doesn't sound bitchy at all; I'm a student in college so most of the time I'm sedentary but when I get home I work on making dance covers or I do yoga. I try to eat healthy yknow like no sweets or sodas, three average portioned meals a day, no processed carbs or red meat.

>>9619913
diet is tastes good man therefore fat

>have BDD
>90/71/99
>muscly arms and thick thighs
>eat three meals a day, watching carbs and drink no soda at all
>always brings a face mask with me when i go out in public to cover my ugly
>tries really hard to be pretty ie; eyebrow threading, skincare, nail salons, hair salons, makeup.
>friends get me into lolita
>fall in love with uniform lolita
I think I'm too ugly and fat for lolita. Granted, this is only my third ever post here so I'm very new. I wish this hellish disorder didn't skew my own perception.

>>9619938
It's the BDD that's talking. I'm pretty sure you're not as hideous as you see or feel.

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Anyone do cardiac rehab before? I obviously want to lose weight to fit in my dresses better but my cardiologist only wants me working out in a rehab facility where they can constantly track my heart rate and blood pressure. I finally got a grip on my eating but I don't think I can any lower with my calories in without feeling like I'm starving. I can't have any stimulants like caffeine or green tea to suppress my appetite because of my heart. It's super frustrating because I know I can look amazing because I was a normal weight before but this heart problem got really out of control and fucked up my life. I'm still buying dresses even though at the moment I can't fit in them.

>>9619761
This is really helpful, thank you anon! My uni is currently working on the gym so our pool is closed, but I'll just replace that with a second run day or maybe some light lifting. I eat pretty healthy already but could stand to cut out more stuff, so I'll take your advice and run with it. Fingers crossed!

My breast size. My waist is fine for JSKs, but my breasts I hate how they look in a lot of stuff because they just look big. And anything from brands that's non-shirred is out of the question. I wish I had smaller.

>>9619913
Not overweight but insecure.
My diet is 200-400cal a day or 1800-2200cal
No exercise but I move around a lot on my chair etc.
It's easy to overeat once there is a lot of food at home and you wanna eat everything at once.

>>9619913
Not bitchy anon-

I'm probably 170 lbs right now and 5'5. Over the last four months Ive dropped down from 200 to where I am now.

My lifestyle before I moved countries wasnt the greatest. I worked from home as a writer so I was pretty sedentary, and I just ate badly. I didnt realize just how many calories were in the things I was eating. I'd say the average I was eating was probably 1800-2000 a day. I did pole dance as a sport for a while which helped trim me up, and I also liked to go jogging with my dog which helped. But I really wasnt burning enough to compensate for what I was taking in. And when I did have a very active job (I had a seasonal job that was VERY physically active) it was a nightshift, by the time I got off work at 2 am nothing would be open but fastfood and i didnt want to cook at home out of exhaustion and a desire to not wake my room mates. So it didnt balance out.

Now I live in a small town with no car. I have to walk or bike any where I go, including the grocery store which stops me buying unnecessary foods like snacks since I dont want to carry them home. I'm a teacher now which while not the most physically active job around, I sitll burn a lot of calories circling the class room all day and chasing after kids. I watch what I eat and take in about 1200 calories a day.

A lot of weight is life style, but there are other factors. Resting metabolic rate is one, mine has always been really low so my overall calorie burn through the day wasnt as high as other peoples which didnt help me. There's also the factor of medications with weight gain side affects and the like. Not to mention genetics. A lot goes into making some one the body shape that they are.

>>9619974
Talk with your doctor and a certified dietitian anon.
If you're in such a position where your doctor is saying you can't do this shit normally, take the extra precaution.

>>9608505
You are pathetic. As a 6"4 woman with a tiny waist, everything in my closet still fits. Learn to shop.

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>>9620168
>6'4 woman

>>9620168
Men have a completely different bone structure, especially larger ribcages and wide shoulders.

>>9620292
I'm a 5'10 guy and I have a wardrobe of things that fit me fine. It's not easy, but it's still pretty doable once you figure out what suits you.

>>9620168
be my mommy i'm a few inches shorter PLEASE DATE ME

>>9620168
>6'4 woman
Post massive feet

5 foot 7, size 8 (uk) shoes, I feel nothing ever looks "cute" on me, can't fit any burando socks or shoes, when I wear burando socks they awkwardly come up halfway up my calf, showing my gross kness because I can never get burando that's long enough to go beyond my knee either, so I always wear tights and an*tai*na shoes, feel like a huge monster in it all the time, can sometimes get my height to work in gothic coords, but I feel so out of place in sweet.

>>9620302
Same, I can fit anything that is fully shirred, and some things that are partially shirred. Biggest issue is OPs and blouses due to shoulders, but I still have a number of brand and off brand blouses that fit fine, and I tend not to buy OPs but I have had a few.

>>9620442
I don't understand why you can't fit brand socks and shoes? You'd fit an LL sized shoe, and I'm taller than you and have bigger feet and I can fit brand OTKs fine, but meta ones tend to be a bit longer

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I've got an F-Cup but am absolutely in love with sackdresses (don't own any so far) recently ordered pic related and now I'm so insecure that it may look like shit on me. I just want to look sweet and innocent

>>9620442
??? I'm 5'6" and have no problem with brand socks fitting properly, at all. Maybe my legs are particularly stumpy and yours are particularly long but I can't imagine an inch or two making that big of a difference. I also have no problem fitting brand size L shoes, but I do have a smaller shoe size.
What brand's socks are you buying? I've had good luck with Baby/AatP, IW and Meta.

>>9619252
>just being taller
>basketball players are just tall
What are proportions

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>>9620460 See attached, an LL is 24.5cm at best. I'm 27cm.
>>9620475
Socks from AP hit right below my knee, but btssb socks only seem to make it halfway up my leg sometimes, but they do have more foot to stretch over. Now I just buy "thigh highs" in harajuku to get them over my knee

>>9608494
Boobs size doesn't matter.

In order to look as a good lolita, you need to be thin just like Anzu. If you are fat you will look like crap.

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>>9620548
>tfw 5'5'', 108lbs, A-cup chest but size 25 shoes

>>9620527
>>9620545
Wrong.

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>>9620583
You're fucking stupid

>>9620582
>tfw 5'3, 100 lbs, 22.5 cm feet, b cup, but i still want to kill myself

if anybody wants to inhabit my body after i die you have my permission, i won't have a use for it much longer

>>9620589
You're delusional.

>>9620714
So do you think Shaq there has a 7 incher?

>>9620471
Just bind off your chest to make it look like B/C cup

>>9608494
I love cutes clothes and love making outfit but recently when I wear them I dont feel pretty or cute at all and feel ridiculous

>>9620578
>you need to be thin just like Anzu

You mean malnourished and ashy?

>>9620744
Would it have killed you to type "height and penis size correlation" into Google and checking studies instead of posting not-even-anecdotal evidence?

This is a general insecurity, but it affects lolita as well.
My boobs sit low on my chest. Even if they weren't slightly saggy from losing a ton of weight as a young teen, they'd be low.
They're visibly lower on my chest than most people's, and it makes me nervous in a lot of dresses, because I see people post here about people needing better bras and whatnot.
I like wearing looser pieces and cuts because of this, but people also complain about fit and shape then. So I don't post photos online.

I wish my boobs were higher and perkier.

>>9620838
Mine sit kinda low as well, especially because of a long torso, so I avoid high-waisted cuts (since they often hit mid-boob) and always wear a good bra. Lolita actually disguises how long my torso is and makes them look less weird.

I'm FTM trans and I hate myself. I've never told another lolita because of the stigma against transtrenders. In a way, I kind of feel worse moving in overtly-SJW social circles like my comm, since a people are scared of looking "transphobic" but still know fuck all about trans issues, so they're afraid to ask questions to your face and you never get a chance to explain. Whereas normie friends aren't as afraid of looking rude so they ask "Anon, but how can you be trans when you like wearing dresses?" and I can explain that the reason I want to be a guy is because I have really cripplingly intense body dysphoria and isn't to do with social roles (not that "I just really want a dick" isn't an embarrassing thing to explain in itself...).

I know that a lot of trans lolitas (esp. the most vilified one) "transition" and carry on wearing lolita and girly shit, but looking at the men in my family, hormones will probably make me into a hairy manbeast and I'd no longer look good in the fashion once I'm on them. I used to weight-train to look more masculine but I stopped because it interfered with the lolita aesthetic, but I still feel uncute and hate looking at photos of myself because I dropped a lot of weight due to a dysphoria-induced ED...feel like I'm in an awkward middle ground where I'm not kawaii any more but still don't look like a guy.

I expect I'll have to quit lolita when I finally crack and can't repress any longer, but I don't like the thought of losing such a big part of my life (I spend pretty much all my free time and money on this fashion). It's one of the only girly things that makes me feel happy but sometimes I wish I'd never got into this stupid hobby because I would probably have transitioned in my late teens otherwise (I also lost a lot of my old friends and quit other hobbies when I got into lolita so I've basically got nothing to go back to).

I'm going to the doctor tomorrow but I don't think they'll be able to help. sage for blogposting.

>>9620919
would you want to post a discord or something to talk more at length about transsexualism? My gf of three years is MtF and I would really appreciate hearing your thoughts on such a similar yet different situation. Sage for off-topic.

>>9618451
Being on the pill helped me lose weight, since it frequently has made me nauseous. It doesn't universally cause people to gain weight.

>>9620959
Sorry, I don't know any MtFs and don't know anything about MtFs that doesn't come from terrible meme advice and self-loathing greentext posts from /lgbt/. I don't feel like I'd be able to give you any useful insight. I also don't even have a formal diagnosis of GID despite struggling with this for six years (hence why I'm going to the doctor tomorrow), so I can't give advice on how things work "in the system" because I'm not in it yet.

>>9619709
It made me gain nearly 60 pounds within a year

>>9620971
I was genuinely more curious about how things are for a FtM. I really appreciate being educated and I figure there's no better way to do that than from someone that's directly affected. No worries if you're not interested though, especially if you're in the process of getting diagnosed.

I don't like my height I'm 5'5 and my legs are so skinny so my legs look weird to me in lolita dresses. I've been trying to put on weight for the longest.. Another insecurity is my big boobs but I think I just need to find a better bra.

I kind of wish wigs were still popular/ubiquitous. I want to cut my hair short again, into a very un-lolita style, but I'm keeping it long because I wear lolita regularly and it's easier not to have to wig up daily. I feel like standards in the community for how natural wigs have to be for lolita are really high now, so none of my older wigs feel good enough but I'm sick of the maintenance long, thick hair requires.

I kinda want to cosplay as a lolita, but there's a thing that I hate
Due to circumstances my height is 1.10-1.30 (legs) but the rest of my body is normal, so I have very long arms. I'm not sure how to cope with it, and it's becoming a real pain.

>>9610381
I feel chubby at 5'4" and 130 pounds. Working on losing maybe 10 pounds to feel neither chubby or too thin.

>>9610387
Better work on holding those standards to you and only you, you dyadic cis-skank.

>>9620825
Way to not answer the question and instead rely on blogs for all your info. I feel like its common sense that someone that big would be in proportion.

>>9621147
>cosplay as a lolita
Nice bait

>>9621549
It's not, unfortunately.

>>9621549
Look up the average height across the world and compare it to average penis size. The biggest cocks aren't from the tallest countries. Bolivia, Congo, etc are normal height with bigger dicks. Denmark, Norway, Netherlands, are all tall as fuck with average penis length.

>>9621093
Trade your skinny legs for my daikon radish legs? Even when I lose so much weight that my torso is spooky mr skeltal, my legs are chunky as heck. I really love the look of white socks/tights with lolita but it makes me look so fat.

>>9621577
Can confirm, bf is 197cm tall with (apparently) average benis. I'm okay with that. Bigger would hurt, anyway.

>>9621580
*also Dutch forgot to mention

>>9619913
I run a couple miles every day except on the weekend and lift weights but I eat too much to be thin

>>9620548
LL is NOT 24.5, I wear 24.5 and bought a bunch of LL brand shoes and I'm swimming in them. Over a cm too big on most of them. Trying to sell but everyone is too cheap rn

mod has a tiny dick.

>>9621856
Careful, talking about people's insecurities in a insecurity thread will get you WARNED

>>9619328
By people in the draw thread. This happened a year ago, too.

I think I am just too fat for lolita. I love it anyway and I do it anyway. I go to my community events regardless. But I feel fat in lolita because lolita isn't made for fat people.

I have to do something to nearly every dress I get to make it fit. Buying a dress that is custom made usually makes the dress go from expensive to un-affordable even with my savings.

Then when I am at lolita events, I feel like such a fish out of water. Like everyone there knows I don't belong there and I obviously look like garbage.

>>9625413
honestly the fact that your reconise this probably makes your coords 100 times better than they would be if you were completely unaware. Are you chubbier or capital F fat?

>>9611285
nayrt but whats the meme that vegetable farts smell worse than meat farts? I went vegan for a while and my farts smelled way better/I farted way less.

I just bought my first sack cut dress, because I actually enjoy this cut so much, just by looking at it. I finally want to try it myself. Now my insecurity is that despite having a slim waist I got an Fcup. I'm so scared that this absolute dd of mine will look shit on me because of my boobs, but I also don't want to bind them, because it's too painful for me. I just really hope that a sports bra and shape wear will do it for me.

Also, no matter how often my 300+ likes photos from cof get posted here, I barely get any anon comments. Is it because I'm boring? I'm still fairly new to (wearing) lolita anyways

I feel like my body doesn't suit lolita anymore.

I've been wearing lolita for 7 years now, and I honestly and truly love it. But last year I developed an autoimmune disorder that caused me to gain about 40 pounds, and it slows down my metabolism a lot. On top of that I have severe chronic pain from it, so exercising a lot isn't possible. Basically it's extremely difficult for me to lose the weight. I have body dysmorphia too, so I feel like I look like a fucking landwhale, even though I know that realistically, I'm "just" chubby, not necessarily obese. But still, I can no longer fit brand easily, or without checking measurements, like I used to. I've more or less been developing an eating disorder because of it.

socially anxious so I never wear lolita out of the house, I'm just collecting coords to wear in front of my mirror apparently.
also recovering from an ED (I was never grossly underweight during my ED days, but still worth recovering from) and I know I'm putting on weight. It's a horrible feeling, I look down and I'm like 'that's not quite how it used to be, in fact its really not like how it used to be'. I noticed I fit less of my normie clothes and I bought one of my dream dresses recently and it didnt fit. Now I'm not fat, I just seem to be becoming chunkier. Also I'm 5"11 and I never felt too big for lolita before. But now I feel like an elephant.

also to ED anons giving eating advice in this thread, fuck you. It's not cute 'tee hee I've got an ED, here's my tips and tricks'.

I feel like a damn troll most of the time. I have the ugliest eye shape known to man. Deep set hooded eyes with zero lid space. They swallow eyeliner into their creased depths, eyeshadow is a fools errand. Dark bags under them, and low-set Neanderthal eyebrows. People always think I'm sad or angry because of them. I can't even try to draw attention to my lips because those have a fairly awful shape too. Just overall not attractive.

>>9618817
I'm talking about the design standpoint of lolita. Obviously if I think well done handmade lolita is top tier, I'm not talking about the buying consumerism aspect of it. You can buy and coord all you want, but *I* think if you can design/make almost everything from scratch, coord it well, and look great afterwards then you're the cream of the crop.

>>9618828
I don't understand the point you're making. I know that's what people think. That's what my insecurity is about??

>>9619293
Where in my post did I say people in my comm are looking down on my handmade?? I said that people's view (meaning the general community as a whole) tend to look down on handmade and that view makes me feel insecure about the items I make. It's akin to knowing you did well on a test but your parents never think it's good enough. I appreciate your comments but just because it's easier to buy stuff doesn't mean you can't try mastering the lolita aesthetic from scratch. It's simply a difference of opinion.

>>9625519
You probably look flawless enough for no one to even nitpick but not absolutely stunning enough for people to comment positively either. I'd say that's a good thing but if it bothers you, maybe it's time to get creative with your coords or pictures?

>>9626657
Yeah I thought so too, but even if I do creative coords (recently I did something sailor moon inspired) no one cares. I just get a hell bunch of likes and some sweet comments in the group. But maybe I still need to make myself a name in the comm as I'm still fairly new.

Also, update on the sack dress, it fits perfectly fine and absolutely doesn't look weird around the boob area

I have really bad teeth due to a combination of terrible genetic luck and depression that resulted in me not taking care of myself for several years. They're mostly straight, but definitely need some fillings to cover deterioration. Generally, I never open-mouth smile, sometimes I even cover my mouth with my hands when I laugh, because I know it looks bad. Even though I'm taking way better care of my mouth now. Doesn't matter, the damage is done, and repair is expensive without insurance. I've been saving up, but it will still be a little while before I can set aside enough to cover those kinds of costs. Until then, either my smile is gross, or I'm that lolita who never smiles.

My biggest insecurity is that I'm 23 and pretty ugly. Like, no matter how much makeup I wear and how nice my coord is, my face is just manly and weird.

And like >>9610317 I also have scoliosis. Mine isn't very noticeable, but it still means that a lot of dresses look weird on me. I can't wear sack dresses though, they're the worst somehow.

>>9621138
Same desu. I'm half indian and all this hair is driving me nuts. But I can't seem to do wigs right, so... Guess I'm keeping it.

I've been a lolita for seven years, but I feel like I never learned how to put together an interesting coord or accessorised well. I'm not an ita, I've never been posted to an ita thread or had a bad comment, but my outfits are just boring. I have several rare/valuable dresses, but I feel like when I wear them, I look like generic lolita #93646. Meanwhile, other lolitas put together interesting and artful coords from cheap taobao stuff, and they look like a million dollars. I don't know what I'm doing wrong, and it makes me sad.