Lolita boyfriend support thread >"It's an investment

>you could just sell one of your dresses
No. No I can not.

>>9580917
This image is legendary. It's seriously saved me from some bad partners.

My current bf is so wonderful.
He dresses well to begin with, and after we started dating, he actually encouraged me to wear lolita more on an everyday basis (used to be meet/conlolita). He helps me with picking out dream dresses and coord feedback and purchasing decisions too, it's fucking great.
We high five'd when I got another dream dress yesterday.

The derogatory
>tfw no bf

>>9580939
do you mean obligatory

I mean you're not wrong either way

Me and my boyfriend have been close friends since high school, and I got him into jfashion. We haven't started dating until a year after I graduated, and now have been dating for almost four years. We always find clothing we might like and buy it for each other.
Not to mention coording together is fun

My boyfriend is supportive, tells me I'm cute when I wear lolita, and will even let me talk about it to him!
But, when I asked him to come with me to rufflecon....
He's trying his best, gulls. I think I might just need actual lolita friends

>I'm just glad I can always find you in a crowd

>>9581007
Yeah same here. He likes it when I wear lolita when we go out, but as soon as he's in the minority and surrounded by girls in frills he gets antsy. He doesn't want me to dress him up, either. I hope to find some lolita friends before the next SFE or TPC event because I hate travelling alone and I don't think he'll ever be comfortable in any group of lolitas, let alone hundreds of us.

>>9581014
Wow that sentence alone is so adorable!

>>9580936
>meetlita
Theres that word again!

>>9581014
Traveling alone is what kills me, too. I made it clear in the beginning that I had no intention of dressing him up, though. I like him ruggedly handsome, personally.

It's terrible because the con in question is in-state, I'm just a weenie.

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> tfw my bf only wears techwear/athleisure

i mean he does look good in it but i wish he would goth/punk it up a little sometimes. at least he mainly wears black tho...

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>>9580917
My boyfriend just spent more on his ouji/EGA wardrobe this month than I have in the past few months. I could never be happier to have someone who shares a love for the fashion.

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>>9581031
Just when you thought cgl couldn't possibly get any more retarded, right?

I wish my boyfriend had an interest in lolita but he doesn't care for fashion at all other than the basic idea of looking decent. He is supportive though and doesn't mind if I talk about it or show him dresses I like or itas that make me laugh. I'd bring him to meets but I don't want him getting preyed upon by my thirsty ass comm and he kinda hates people.

>>9581014
Nobody at TPC or SFE events wants your non-lolita boyfriend there, especially when tickets are limited. Grow a pair and go alone, it's never hard to meet people at these things.

The events themselves only last a few hours anyway, so he could always come and stay at a hotel together, heck, even drop you at the door of the event, and then go and sightsee by himself for a few hours before you meet again in the evening.

>>9581179
I've actually spoken with a conlita before and they weren't even that bad. The only real issue I even have with those kinds of lolitas is that they usually cosplay more than they wear lolita. But that's fine actually.

There is a weird elitism thing going on where girls on cgl think they are superior for not being like other lolitas. Then they turn around and shame people for not dressing to their liking.

wild.

I took my boyfriend to a meetup for the first time some time ago. We've been dating for less than six months so I was really anxious and afraid he'd be lonely.
Turns out the lolita boyfriends were all friendly and had similar hobbies. He ended up mingling better than me! Does anyone notice this in their local comms as well?

He likes to walk around with me in lolita but since he is very protective, he gets a little too alert and doesn't leave my side, afraid that someone will mistreat me because I'm dressed differently. I try to reassure him, but I also enjoy the benefit of a 6-foot-tall bodyguard.

>>9581179
>>9581188
Chill, it's not like she was pissing on meet and conlitas, she was just using a term so everyone knows what she meant instead of explaining it.

>>9581030
I know right

>>9581032
You can do it, anon! I'm personally nervous because these kinds of events are usually in different countries from my own and I don't like being in a strange country all by my lonesome. Especially if I don't speak the language.

>>9581187
I wasn't planning on bringing him, chill.

I'm so thankful to have a fiance that loves Lolita. My last ex would ask me shit lime"why do you have to wear that?" And would not want to even go out to eat if I was dressed up. He also never wants his friends to see me dressed up, which was dumb because his friends already hated me simply for having anxiety and not being very talkative.

My fiance is all on board though, I can show him dresses and he even starts getting the brands down! He loves that I wear it and doesn't sexualize it at all. I bought b a nice shirt and pants and shoes before to go to a meet once, but only because I was hosting it and it was my birthday meet.

I'd like him to dress up more but he definitely doesn't want ouji and even aristocrat he's a little iffy on. He actually just likes regency clothing best and I'm wondering if lolita events would be cool with it because I'd love to go to a big tea party together someday

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I got out of a semi long term relationship a couple months ago wirh someone who just tolerated lolita, typically shamed me for spending money on it, didn't really care for the look (he didn't hate it either, never acknowledged me or my coords), and would tone me out if I started talking about it (fair because I talk about it really often, it's a big part of my life)

Fast foreward to now, I'm about a month and a half into a new relationship with someone who dresses incredibly nice and listens to me when I talk about lolita. He enjoys helping me put together coords, like he understands how everything works surprisingly well and can even gets nitpicky at cof post I show him. Also having someone I can laugh at ita pics with is great. I feel so incredibly lucky to be with someone who cares about my interests and invests in them as well.

I feel like crying after writing this out, the feels are too much.

>>9580917
>It's an investment really, in ten years these dresses will be worth twice as much

lol those are the girls that are now crying that their milky planet is worth half of what they got it for.

>showing fiance some stupid dress I want to buy
>he rolls his eyes
>says "yes.. I know Milky Planet"
>mfw

I think I talk to him about lolita much more than I realize

>>9581437
I recently was set back $280 on milky planet salopette and my bf just about killed me

>>9581031
Stop being autistic.

jumping on the "ex didnt like lolita, new bf does" bandwagon, my ex was around for my beginnings in the fashion and constantly made fun of me for it and held it against me to excuse him doing all sorts of innapropriate shit, it was insane. new guy dresses very punk and appreciates the effort i put into it, and makes me feel all pretty when im in it. he recently said he would try ouji.

>>9581031
i was thinking the same thing!

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>tfw no qt lolita gf to support unconditionally and help me dress up for myself

Fashion has never been one of my strongpoints. I dress decently but I generally don't spend a lot of money on clothes in general. The idea of her bringing her bf along to a meet is extremely cute too, I'd jump at the opportunity

>>9581567
Hope you find her, anon!

>>9581271
>>9581403
>>9581562

Same. I guess every lolita has that ex that hated the fashion. Mine was uncomfortable with even slightly jfashion casual outfits (like wearing thigh-highs or seifuku skirt). He wanted me to dress like a bimbo.

>>9581578
This is sweet, thank you. I hope I do too, though my country's comm is so small it probably won't ever happen

>>9581567
shes out there!

BF likes lolita. Strongly prefers gothic lolita, but I am a sweet lolita... He is still insanely supportive and has gotten me many dumb food shaped things and dresses throughout the years.

>>9581197
You clearly just want to be able to use the word without getting called on it but I'm just gonna call people out on it every time I see it now cause there's no need for it.

My boyfriend doesn't like the fashion itself much, but he says it's my choice to wear it and whatever he thinks shouldn't have any impact on what I want to wear. He thinks it looks cute most of the time though. He probably wouldn't come close to any kind of J-Fashion ever, but to be honest I prefer him in his sloppy skater clothes anyway.

I don't care if my SO shows an interest in lolita as long as he doesn't tell me it's stupid or that I look bad in it. In fact, I'd rather him not get involved in, as I prefer to have my hobbies be separate from him/have something for myself. I'd feel awkward babysitting him or like I'm forcing him to attend lolita-centric things with me. It's sort of like how I like to be alone if I'm going to spend hours at the mall shopping. I don't need him tagging along for that.

As long as you tie my waist ties for me, we're golden.

>newly married
>he makes way more than i do
>only have a couple dresses
>not a material guy and just accumulates money
>constantly reminds me that his money is my money
>lol k
>get 3 more dresses
>he doesn't mind even though not really into the fashion

Cutting myself off here so I don't go overboard but it was a good run. He does like to collect things so he was happy when I told him I didn't plan to re-sell any of the dresses and I'd rather display them.

My boyfriend doesn't really care about the fashion that much, but has a good eye for coordinating and helps me pick out my coords when I can't decide between blouses, tights, etc.
He also lets me dress him in lolita if I want. I'm so glad we're the same sizes.

>>9581779
damn, i thought i was in the minority with this. i think it's kind of weird to make your boyfriend go to meets if lolita isn't something he directly participates in, but evidently this is something that a lot of gulls do/want to do...?

my bf buys me burando and thinks l look cute in lolita and that's more than i could ever ask for. i don't need to force him to participate in my hobbies or like what i like.

Have any of you gulls ever had your SOs ask to fuck you in your burando?

>>9581786
I think it's probably more common than we think? I just know I wouldn't want to hang out with my boyfriend's friends at their D&D campaigns, and I know he wouldn't want me there because I just don't have an active interest in it. I am happy to listen to him talk about it afterward, but that's different. If we both have a hobby we share, like biking, or going to cons, we'll do that together. Not everything needs to be shared.

And yeah! As long as he isn't actively hating on it, that's all I need. I wouldn't want to date someone who has a misconception of lolita. That's all I ask.

>>9581791
he didn't have to ask, i jumped on that dick of my own volition

>>9581791
No, but I've given in a BJ while wearing lolita before. This happens if you wear lolita often or daily and you're in a relationship.

>>9581786
I just get really anxious going somewhere that I don't know anyone too well. I gotta just suck it up.

>>9581603
I find that guys prefer gothic lolita in general. Why is this.

>>9581805
Sweet makes you feel like you're dating an 8 year old

t. a guy

>>9581805
It veers towards "beautiful" whereas other styles are definitively more cute. Also I think some guys mistake gothic and classic.

>>9581791
Didn't have to ask, just happens. If it's burando I care more about I'll tell him to wait a second while I put my dress away

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>>9581809
I thought you would have liked that, ya pedo.

>>9581810
I thought it maybe had to do with there are more gothic lolitas in anime, and most of the guys lolitas tend to date are into anime.

>>9581805
In my personal experience, they prefer Classic, but might be because I don't wear Gothic.
Guys that like alt girls tend to like Gothic I guess?

>>9581809
This. Classic and gothic seem more mature, probably because they generally employ darker colors/earth tones compared to sweet where 90% of everything is bright fucking pink or looks like a kid's birthday cake.

>>9581805
i'm a sweet and my bf likes it because the prints are cute and they suit my personality. he likes taking me out on dates that match the prints on my dresses.

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>>9581817
I assumed guys that were into anime would prefer sweet since it's very idol-like. Pic related.

>>9581805
It's Western culture to like things that are mature, beautiful and sexy, not cute and pretty. You can only look cute in a sexy way, not childish. Gothic has more emphasis on maturity so naturally most Western guys will like it more. Luckily my SO is Japanese so he likes me looking cute.

>>9581838
Maybe because I'm so entrenched in lolita, I don't find most sweet prints today to be super cutesy or childish. But someone looking on the outside will obviously find them to be childish, I'm sure.

But good point on the differences between Western and Eastern beauty standards.

SO is pretty "meh" on lolita itself, but he likes that it makes me happy, so in that sense he is very supportive. He buys me dresses on a semi-regular basis and his parents have too on occasion. He'll be seen with me in public and knows the difference between Baby and Moitié. I'm pretty lucky.

BF and I wear lolita together, although he's more into classic or toned down sweet while I wear old school or older AP sweet releases. He's so skinny and tall that it makes me jealous how well he can wear IW and the like. We're planning on twinning more often in the future (planning black and pink BTSSB coords rn). I love him!!

I'd much rather him wear traditional lolita than ouji or aristo and I'm not sure why. Does anyone feel the same? He passes for female extremely well so I figured he might as well wear what I do.

>>9581783
>but it was a good run
Is this implying you want to divorce him, or what?

My boyfriend was the one who encouraged me to try out lolita when I was on the fence about dropping all that money. When I started wearing it and talking about it, he took genuine interest in what I had to say! Hes also helped motivate me to lose weight to fit into more brand. I'm really thankful he is so cool with j-fash.

>>9580917
Bf likes the look of some aristro stuff but well he's almost 7feet tall and feels like he's probably to old to wear it, so he's left all the dressing up to me. Like he's amazingly supportive and even helps me with sewing from time to time.

My boyfriend is a classic western nerd/geek (think LotR and Star Trek) so he doesn't really get the appeal of lolita but he appreciates how it looks and how much of my life it has consumed.

A small part of me wants to dress him up because he has a good face for aristo but he's a buff manlet who doesn't care about fashion so I feel like it's not really worth the trouble trying. He does let me dress him up in my stuff for shits and giggles though.

>>9581805
I could ask the same about how on this board it feels like sweet is overwhelmingly more popular among girls than other styles. Why is that?

>>9582362
I think girls appreciate things for just being cute, but men only see appeal in what they want to fuck, honestly. Gothic is definitely the "sexiest" of the styles naturally, with more corsets and it doesn't tend to be so soft as the others. There's plenty of guys that have goth girl fetishes.

The only girls I know that are turned on by lolita are ironically the occasional dreaded ageplayer I've seen wear sweet. They seem to like the dd/lg aspect and just lump in all cute things with their fetish, I guess. I've never actually seen something like that in classic or gothic.

>>9581779
>>9581786
I agree. He has his stuff, I have my stuff and it's nice to do things independently sometimes. I'm happy he's supportive but I'd never want to dress him up or take him to a meet.

>>9581805
Gothic is actually by far my husband's least favourite style. He likes IW-style classic best and thinks sweet is cute as long as the girl wearing it doesn't look too old for it, but he thinks gothic looks bad no matter what. I'm only into classic so this isn't a problem, although he still doesn't like it if I wear "too much" black. He prefers bright, cheery colours. I'll still wear black when I'm going out by myself, though. He doesn't get to dictate my wardrobe any more than I get to dictate his.

>>9582362
It's not just this board, sweet has been the most popular style among the whole community for about ten years. It's hard to say whether AP's success was perpetuating the trend by having frequent good releases and lots of hype, or if they just followed the zeitgeist.

I don't understand boyfriends who buy lolita clothes for their girlfriend. Do they ask for it? Do they just randomly buy stuff they saw online? Do they research where to get good deals? But..why?

>>9582632
I'm not a guy but I'd say it's not too different from buying gifts of any sort for best friends or close family members. Listen closely, find their wishlist (if they keep one), or just get to know their taste.

>But..why?
It makes the recipient happy which in turn makes me happy because I care about them.

>>9582632
I ask my boyfriend for either a specific dress or money towards a taobao order. He gives me the money and I buy it. It's not quite the same as unwrapping a surprise but I'm just as happy and I know he's not getting ripped off or getting the wrong dress.

>>9580936
>used to be meet/conlolita
>meet/conlolita
>meetlolita

>>9581031
>>meetlita
>Theres that word again!
Only in your head sweetie.

I've been with my boyfriend for two years. He's pretty weeby, he's mainly interested in video games and card games, and he doesn't really care much for clothes or fashion. However, he loves hearing me talk about lolita, since he know it makes me really happy. He's helped me with getting some dresses (I don't mean like he's fully bought them for me, but he has lended me some cash to finish paying them off). In return, I love getting him games and card sets he has his eyes on. Despite us having different hobbies, I feel like we can relate in the sense that our hobbies really fill us up and make us happy despite not being the normal hobbies college students are typically into. I've been trying to get into the stuff he's interested in, and he has done his research in the fashion for me and knows the brands and my favorite prints, but I think its a long shot to expect for him to dress up with me, even in more "masculine" fashions like aristocrat or ouji. He prefers tees and jeans any day over dressy stuff, but hopefully that day will come someday that I can dress him up.

Lolita husband here, AMA.

(captcha: gayton lane)

>>9580917
What are you trying to fit in the wardrobe? Ouji/EGA, suits, or something else? Your selection of t-shirts and jeans shouldn't need more than a single drawer if you've got a balanced wardrobe.

If you still need space, consider buying another wardrobe/dresser.

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>>9582661
I...
I don't have a comeback to that.

>>9582648
>>9582643
I'm thinking maybe it's a cultural thing.. I'm European and it would be seriously looked down on to ask your bf for money/gift here unless it's your birthday. I never get gifts from friends or family either unless it's a holiday or they brought something back from another country or something.

>>9582653
I feel the same anon. My boyfriend loves fighting games and Magic. I never had a videogame growing up and Magic was always too tight-knit in my town for me to get into. So I'm making the effort to learn about the things he's passionate about, and he makes the effort to learn about lolita.
I'm not gonna turn into a pro player and such, and he's not gonna wear jfashion, but we relate in the sense that we geek out about our hobbies.

He was showing me Skullgirls the other day and thought I would like Peacock because she looks lolita, I thought it was so cute of him.

my boyfriend and I started dating years before I started wearing Lolita. He seems really happy with me having ended up with this kind of hobby; I don't smoke, or drink or go out partying; I just need a ride to the meet-up.

His only concern is with how much I spend on Lolita, mostly because we're already trying to merge our finances and he's worried that sometimes I go abit hog wild. (I earn $800 a month and sometimes I have spent $200 on Lolita in one month)

>>9582632
I'm married and for years my husband hasn't been choosing my birthday gift or Christmas gift. He's not super comfortable buying items online, even normie stuff from eBay intimidates him.

I don't even remember anymore who started this, it might have been him asking what i wanted and me telling him. And then him asking me to buy it since hes a chicken haha. Anyways it works for us because I get something I love and he doesn't have to stress about online shopping or choosing something.

Since we are financially stable I have a budget of about a regular brand release or less. I do often spend about half of that though since a lot of my wishlisted items are older so I buy second hand a lot more. Of course if we weren't so financially OK I wouldn't be buying something so expensive
>A brand release equals one days pay from his job so I don't feel too bad :^)

>>9582679
Some people give presents randomly. When I see something that reminds me of someone and isn't too expensive, I buy it for them. Be it boyfriend, sister, coworker... I also do a lot of "you like it? it's yours then!".
I don't expect people to give back, but sometimes they do. I have one special friend who really likes Rilakkuma but comes from a tough background. I give her a ton of small Rilakkuma stuff to make her life a little lighter. She gives back by giving me leftover cookies and such that she bakes to sell.
She has now a small collection, and I gained some weight orz

>>9582660
Is she into or against ageplay

>>9582690
If he's that worried about your spending, maybe keeping your finances separate is better. At the end of the day, it's your money and you can spend it on whatever you want as long as you're paying your bills and shit, too.

I've been with my boyfriend for almost 7 years, and we make an effort to kind of split finances by rotating who pays for things, but we've discussed that we'll probably never have a joint bank account or anything.

That being said, I'm glad that my bf is fine with my lolita addiction, even though he thinks the amount I've spent on my wardrobe is ridiculous considering how infrequently I get the chance to wear it. He's not really into it, but he often offers to tie my waist ties, or adjust my hair accessories for me, which I love.

>>9582690
>>9582706

I agree, not all couples have to have joint finances. Do what works best for you anon.

>>9582660
Most lolitas say they hate guys who have a lolita fetish and sexualize it.

But when you are in a relationship with one do they get kinda into it sexually if you keep telling them how hot they look or saying that you get hard when they wear it?

>>9582632
Gifts can be seen as a gesture of love. My bf likes taking care of me and I think he takes pride in making me happy, so he gives me gifts. He also knows my taste in clothing and how to use shopping services, so he doesn't need to be spoonfed. If he notices that I really really want something, he usually offers to get it without me having to ask. This recently happened with a dream dress. It's not all that perplexing.

>>9582632
I buy stuff for my girl because it makes me feel masculine.

>>9582726
I very rarely do sex stuff in lolita. Some lolitas do. Other lolitas have other weebish fetishes.
I'm in a ltr and have done stuff like dressing up as a maid or in seifuku. They're easier to remove and the clothes are more disposable.

When I did it was completely unrelated to the fashion, we just got horny and had that awkward moment of trying to figure out how to remove three petticoats, a bloomer and tights while laying down. It's not that hot anon, believe me.

>>9582726
i hate guys who have a lolita fetish and sexualize it because they aren't my partner

my partner doesn't have a "lolita fetish" but he likes it when i'm dressed up especially cutely because he likes to mess me up. he basically has a fetish for taking me from cute spoiled princess to battered groveling slave. wearing lolita while we fuck doesn't turn me on or anything, in fact it's kind of a nuisance, but when i want the dick i want the dick.

>>9582705
>Is she into or against ageplay
Against, actually we both think it's cringe af.

>>9582726
Nope, no lewding allowed, lolita is a pure fairy tale fantasy and it's to remain innocent. I respect that, we can lewd all we want after the petticoat is off.

Funny thing, she was into general J-fashion before and when I showed her lolita (which I was sort of familiar with being into VK myself) she dismissed it as fetish stuff that's only for male enjoyment. It would be a couple years later when she re-discovered it on her own and got into it 120% as the best thing to happen in her life.

>>9582757
This edge

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>>9582653
Honestly anon, I think that contrasting pairs often look as cute or even cuter than lolita/aristo pairs. Every time I see a sweet lolita with a punky/goth kind of guy I think it looks adorable. You could maybe see if there are any other subcultures or alternative fashions he's interested in if he prefers tees and jeans over vintage and historical wear. I think a lot of styles that look like they took a bit of effort and thought about their appearance mesh well with lolita.

>>9582726
>or saying that you get hard when they wear it?
this would put me off wearing it desu

>>9582770
>sex is edgy

>>9582679
I'm European too and buying gifts for friends/family just because is really common in my circles. It's not a purely American thing or whatever you're implying.

>>9582781
>this would put me off wearing it desu
Same here. When I wear something I like, I do it for myself (and to impress other girls ngl) and the idea of a guy getting horny over it, even if that guy is my fiancé, is really annoying and offputting. When I'm just going through my day and trying to get things done it's a big nuisance to have a horny dude hovering around me. My fiancé actually agrees and has complained about his sexual attraction to me messing with his ability to get work done during the day. Our sex life is kept 100% to the evenings and generally stuff only happens after we get (un)dressed for bed. If my guy developed an attraction to lolita and started wanting to get frisky while I was getting ready for a meet I'd be so annoyed with him.

I've been with my boyfriend for about a year now. He doesn't get the fashion and whenever I try to show him things I like on lolibrary he asks whether or not I can actually fit into it or whether I'll ever fit into it. He also says that he doesn't want me wearing things that draw attention to me. He also says that he doesn't see the point in me getting expensive clothes, and says that because he's happy wearing his old clothes that I should be fine with what I have. I have never asked him for anything (Lolita or not) and we don't share finances (he earns more than twice what I do and always runs out of money before I do) but he feels like he should get a say in what I save up for.

>>9582812
sounds like you might be fat and ugly which is why he doesn't want you to draw attention to yourself

>>9582816
lol wow

>>9581897
If you had any two cents in your brain to rub together you'd realize she means that she's not letting herself buy any more dresses because she doesn't want to overspend the money and it won't be a common thing she'll be doing you fucking spastic r9k tier moron.

>>9582812
He sounds like a shitty boyfriend.

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>>9582816

>bf going to Tokyo
>tells me he will basically be my pro bono shopping service to allay my angst about not going to supreme Nippon land
>he has a big empty suitcase

I'm not trying to go wild with my wishlist but it's super hard not to.

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>>9582812
>>9582816
Not that anon, but sometimes my boyfriend says this crap to me and I am thin/pretty. It's a gaming strategy and a form of control. He in fact likes lolita in actuality. Tell him to stop hanging out on /r9k/ so much.

>>9582812
obligatory suggestion that you dump him

but seriously, dump him or at least have serious words, he sounds jealous and controlling.

>>9582788
So do you ask your bf/senpai/friends to buy you lolita or do they do it on their own? 'Cause we're not talking about gifting some trinket or pie here.

>>9582834

Why do you guys hang out with huge assholes? There are bigger fish in the sea especially if you're anything beyond a 4/10. t. Someone who used to be with an asshole and now isn't.

>>9582834
>and i am thin/pretty
kek

>>9582852
Mte. I'm not even pretty and my boyfriend is super nice and fit to the point I sometimes wonder why he's with me, but then I remember how awesome I am on the inside.

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>>9582834
Wow, what a nasty piece of shit.

I recently came out as a lesbian when all my life I held it in. I fell in love with my best friend who was also a woman and she was also a closeted lesbian. Weve been in a relationship for two years and while she doesnt dress lolita she dresses aristocrat. We usually only like to dress up for concerts and cant really attend any meets because of our jobs. Hopefully that all changes soon when we move.

>>9582812
If you seriously think that lolita will be a lifelong or long hobby of yours, I suggest break up with your bf since he doesn't even try to understand the fashion and sounds a lot like a narcissist & toxic relationship in some points... a Californian lolita that I follow posted about her recent breakup with a guy that she'd been with for a while and he made her feel like crap when she went out and did things in lolita...

What are you planning to do when your bf inevitably starts aging and doesn't feel like being fash anymore?
you dump him and get a younger guy or...?

>>9581482
Don't understand that when they could just as well spend that much on their own hobbies, like games, tech, takeaway, alcohol etc in a month alone.

Haven't told my partner what I spend but I'm keeping this in the back of my mind in case he finds out.

>>9583110
Deets? Are you asking for yourself/a friend?

>>9583110
You realize you yourself will start aging too right?

>>9583110
I love him so I will age gracefully with him and we will both die, still dressed badass

>>9583110
Get a younger guy. Asian if possible.

>>9583127
Not a lot of girls like you in this day and age, your bf is lucky.

>>9583117
>move $500 into bf's account to use with his credit card to buy brand online
>school stuff comes up
>2 months later
>me: "Where's my $500 I put on your card?"
>him: "That was YOURS? I spent it on kickstarter games..."
Yeah...

>>9582812
>bad at managing money
>dresses schlubby
>insecure enough to drag you down to his schlub level
Even just these three are enough to see this is only gonna end in tears.

>>9582812
Jumping on the bail train.
>can't manage own expenses
>doesn't want anyone else paying attention to you
>discourages your hobbies
>tries to control what you wear
This dude is bad news. He's not going to understand or get better or suddenly wake up one morning and love you and treat you right. Tear that bandaid off now and get it over with. He's an asshole and it's not going to change.

>>9581588
I haven't, thankfully. I have had a boyfriend who hated the community I was a part of at the time though. He'd always ask me if I could "just skip" a meet when I told him I'd see him after on the weekends.

For some reason, inordinate amount of drama in that bunch, so I understand his aversion.

>>9583110

Joke's on you my bf already isn't into jfash but we're adults and realise we have different interests, and that's fine.

I mean if you want to talk about aging and lolita, that's a different dead horse.

>>9582620

I think it's just that sweet lolita is a bit unique to lolita, so girls who like that substyle tend to end up in lolita.

Like, if you liked florals and the silhouette of classic lolita, you could probably thrift vintage stuff, do twee fashion, or even go with retro style (50s house dresses and day dresses), or even simply buy a lot of floral fit-and-flare normie sundresses, or go off the other end and get into re-enactment costumes. And if you like goth, you could simply do goth goth instead of gothic lolita, it's not like everything is spikes and skulls, there's also corporate goth and simple black dresses in gothic.

Sweet lolita, though. There's EAH and MLP cosplay, or there's fairy kei, otome and lolita -- all related jfashions. So I guess the majority of girls who like the cutesy stuff tend to end up in some jfashion or another, and then it's just a short hop from one jfashion look to another, especially with AP trend-hopping across different jfash all the time. So the girls who like sweet cutesy stuff all tend to end up in lolita at some point or another.

I don't understand why some of you gulls are afraid to tell your boyfriend how much you spend when it's your own money. As long as your household expenses are covered, why should it matter to him how much you spend? I regularly spend over 1k/month of my own money on lolita and makeup, and if my boyfriend thought he had the right to tell me not to spend my own money, we'd have some serious issues.

>>9583427
because most gulls are emotionally undeveloped womenchildren who aren't capable of handling real-world situations

>and i'm one of them (except my bf doesn't give a shit how much i spend)

>>9581197
>>9581188
>>9581179
>>9581031
>>9580936
>girls like to sort themselves/others into fractally nested social pyramids

Color me shocked

>>9583117
>>9583141
Same. He spends almost as much on games as I do on lolita, but I actually wear all of my lolita whereas he plays most games for 2-3 hours max and then never looks at them again.

>>9582812
I hope sex with him is amazing otherwise it isn't worth the time and patience. Sounds like a normie
>>9583388
This. Like how hard do you gulls think it is to find someone that likes you for being you? It's not so hard come oooooon.
>>9583427
^^^
>>9583522
That sounds perfect to me. I already spend a lot on both lolita and games but if he buys it i can play it for free right?

My ex was really supportive of it, he always said I should wear it out and he'd keep me company if I did. Pity we broke up, but now I'm at square one - how do I bring up that I wear a weird jfashion to new boyfriend who thinks normie fluffy heels are 'too much'. I know I shouldn't care about what anyone thinks, but it's sad to think that the person I like might think that my favourite hobby is silly or ugly.

>>9583627
>how do I bring up that I wear a weird jfashion to new boyfriend who thinks normie fluffy heels are 'too much'

You don't, you dump him and date me instead

>>9583632
good idea anon, you can tie my waist ties and I'll tie yours, yeah? I've always wanted a lolita or jfash gf/bf anyways. Here's hoping you're in my local comm </3

>>9583649
I know you're kidding but this is exactly what I dream of

>>9583649
>>9583652
Nayrt but same!

>>9583659
Where do you live?

>>9583627
It would be awkward to bring up in conversation. Just wear it and he will see.

>>9581779
Agreed. My SO fawns over me whenever I'm dressed up, offers to help take outfit shops, and is supportive from a bystander perspective. And for us, this is perfect! We can do dog stuff and nature stuff together. Football is his thing, and frills are mine. It's very healthy to have separate hobbies and friend groups.

>>9582632
My boyfriend recently offered to buy me a dress for by birthday. It almost put me off showing him dresses I'm interested in, though. I'm only going out with him a few weeks. Like anyone, I enjoy showing pictures of dresses I'm considering buying to my friends and partners, but the first time I did this with this new guy he offered to buy me the dress. I had to gently remind him that we are both poor college students, and if he really wants to give me frilly things, to just get me a head bow or something, please.

>>9583404
This is very true and I'd not thought of it that way.

>>9583427
A lot of couples function as a unit; it can cause a lot of tension when people have different priorities. Sure some gulls are just being childish but it's common for resentment to build up in relationships when one partner is a saver and the other is a spender. Like, I spend a lot on lolita, but if I was in a relationship and my partner was prioritising hobby spending over saving for a house or w/e and I was the only one saving, I'd consider breaking up, since it'd be obvious they cared about their own short-term luxuries more than our long-term future together. At the same time, I'd break up with somebody who used saving for the future as an excuse for me to complain about spending on *anything* "non-essential". Gotta have balance but not all couples can reconcile their attitudes.

>>9583607
Unfortunately there is very little overlap in our taste in games. Sometimes I do mooch off of his Steam account and the fact he keeps buying games by itself doesn't bother me, but it gets annoying when he chides me for buying a pair of (super versatile) "overpriced" socks when he just threw the exact same amount of money at a game he won't even play for more than an hour. Why is it only considered a waste of money when it's my hobby, but never his?

>>9581831
My bf likes idols and idol anime and even in them he has a preference for the edgier/goth girls.

>mfw
I just want a boy who thinks I look my best with a cake headpiece on

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>>9583877
Me too anon, me too.
I've tried going out with a guy who liked MLP to see if it helped, but it didn't work out.

>>9581831
>I assumed guys that were into anime would prefer sweet since it's very idol-like.

I'm fairly certain most people into anime don't care much for idols aside from people who are actually into idol anime. Although I guess it could be different depending on where you live.

>>9583722
Of course if you're in a long term relationship, you should talk about finances with your partner, but there's no reason why you should be afraid to tell your SO how much you spend.

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>>9583968
That's some next level shit, anon. Why didn't it work?

Worst thing is I'm bi, and I'm pretty sure my chances would be higher with a grill. But I'm dead afraid of women, they're too pretty

after reading through this thread, i feel even luckier to have the boyfriend i have. i guess i didn't think about it before, but somebody who's willing to be seen in public with a walking birthday cake is a definite keeper.

to all the gulls whose boyfriends shame you for things that you like: dump his ass

>>9583968
>some MLP manchild autist managed to get a lolita gf and I can't

brb suicide

>>9583652
I'm that anon you replied to and I'm not kidding!!!!! I dream of it too. It's pretty sad that I'm holding out hope I'll get a lolita gf someday........... is it bad that I'd dump this guy in a heartbeat if I found a lolita gf? We're not serious anyway but I feel like a bitch for saying that.

>>9583663
LONDON
O
N
D
O
N

>>9584020
Drop that contact info then (assuming you're not just /fit/ memeing)

>>9583978
It's a bit personal.
I knew he thought sweet lolita was the cutest thing in the world, and we talked about class programming assignments and such.
He confessed his crush and I thought "why not?" and went on a few dates. On one of them he thought pinning me to the wall would be a nice idea. He's a whole foot taller than me! I started crying and he apologized later, but it made me scared of being near him.
I think I'm old-fashioned. I did not expect him to do that since he hadn't even held hands or even hugged me.

>>9584007
Calm down, he wasn't my boyfriend. We went out to eat a few times and then he fucked it up, see above.
Also, I'm a vintage MLP collector, that's why I thought we would click. A lot of jfashion girls like vintage toys.

>>9584007
>mfw married to lolita
>mfw often get to hang out with her and her lolita friends at cafes, afternoon teas and such
>mfw the looks on other guys faces as we walk around
Sometimes I wonder what I did to deserve such luck.

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>>9583972
That does make sense. I thought most weebs nowadays liked Love Live but maybe that's just my social circle.

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Gulls, this has been eating away at me for weeks.

I dated a really great guy who supported me through a lot of hard times. He actually suggested I check out /cgl/ after I mentioned getting back into cosplay, and here I fell in love with lolita/jfashion in general.
He was always very supportive of my interest in lolita, and he would even ask if I wanted to wear it out when we went on nicer dates. It's not like he was interested in it himself, but he appreciated that I was.

On top of all of this, he was just a great guy. I've never felt so comfortable and so deep a connection with another person.

But he was also my first serious, adult partner, and after dating for a year or two, I got weird fomo that I would just end up married to him. Add to the mix study abroad, me budding into an alcoholic, and general life/school stress, and I was a fucking mess. I broke up with him.

At the time, I felt kind of good about , but as time has gone on, I just feel worse and worse. I've dated other people, and some of them have been good people, but no one has ever been anywhere near his level. Most of them have also been either weirded out by or downright rude about my fashion style.

We're still good friends, and I've told him how sorry I am for hurting him and fucking everything up, and how I hope things can be different in the future, but I really don't ever see it happening.
Just the other day would have been our 5 year anniversary, and the whole day I was on the verge of tears.

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>>9584026
for reals? email me at [email protected]
if you're a fake I'm gonna be sad, I made this email account just for you

Current bf is super supportive about jfash/lolita, and always encourages me to dress up and reads up on the styles I like. Not really into jfash himself, but always dresses nicely when we go out.
He always almost nags me to buy stuff I'm looking at, and offers to pay for it all, even if I make a lot more then he does haha.. Some day I'll dress him matchy-matchy with me and drag him to a meet.

>>9584051
You can try to win him back... It's hard, but it's possible. It might hurt you but it's better than never trying and live the rest of your life thinking what could have been!

Not sure I understand here. Some of the people in this thread force their bfs to dress up and/or drag them to meets and cons when they have no interest in it. But then get mad if bf asks them to not wear lolita to x event or x dinner.

Correct me if im wrong ig but some od these posts just make sense.

>>9584065
Mailed you

>>9584080
I didn't get that vibe, most people on this thread seem to accept that their SOs don't like it, or if they do dress up with their partner it's because their partner wants to.

>>9584075
I want to. However, I'm not currently in any position to do so (poor and barely employed with no real hope of that changing any time soon), and he's moving across the country.

So I'm trying to focus on doing what I can, like staying sober, getting my emotional/financial shit straightened out, practicing my hobbies, and figuring out my inner needs/desires.

Some part of me hopes that we'll be able to reconnect in a few years, but mostly I want him to be happy. If that's with someone else, so be it.

>>9584096
I may just be a lowly anon but my idea is to keep doing what you're doing and work on being happy by yourself. If you win him back later, great! If not, plenty more fish in the sea. There's like 7 billion people in the world, the concept of a soulmate might just be slightly outdated. If you found someone as great as him before, you'll find someone just as amazing and better, trust me. I know it sounds cheesy haha
I wish you the best, anon

>>9584096
Good luck, anon.

Fingers crossed for a non 5cm/s ending.

>>9584080
... Do you have an example of someone in this thread? I don't think I've seen anyone like that, but I could be missing something.

>>9584096
>like staying sober, getting my emotional shit straightened out
I know the struggle anon. You really need to reflect on what it was about your life that drove you to start drinking. Were you physically dependent on it, or were you just drinking frequently?

>>9580917
My boyfriend is super supportive of all my interests, including lolita. He's gotten very good at tying waist ties. He listens to me talk about lolita and laughs at itas/stupid comm drama with me.

He has expressed an interest in wanting to dress nicer since we started dating, not jfashion but nicer than jeans/t-shirt. I am hoping I can slowly turn him into a cute grunge/punk boy, it's not to far off what he already wears.

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I'm really happy to have a boyfriend who matches my outfits. When we first started dating he liked the clothes but was a little nervous about all the stares/attention because he's pretty shy, but now he doesn't care at all and encourages me to wear whatever I like. He actually said that me wearing lolita helped him care less about what other people thought. I'm very lucky to have him. Pic related, it's us.

>>9584255
omg, that's so cute

>>9584255
omg, that's so cute

>tfw your guy hates heart aprons

End me pls

>>9584255
this is adorable and I love the way your bf dresses, I think I'd dress like that if I was a guy. Also I really like the docs, I didn't think they'd be suitable for a coord but you proved me wrong

>>9584255
christ, this is precious.

>>9584255
omg, that's so cute

>>9584255
You two really cheered me up.

>>9584255
omg, that's so cute

>>9584051
Ask him to meet up on a comfortable neutral ground, sit him down, and tell him pretty much exactly what you said in your post. No beating around the bush bullshit, just be to the point, I fucked up, I regret it, can we try it again.
If he's a patient and understanding guy as you described him, he may look past what happened and be up to it, assuming he didn't sort his own life out with someone else already. If he did then tough luck, just politely back out and don't ever try to "win him back" because you'll fuck it up and hurt him and yourself again and another person in the process.
Anyway, don't bullshit him, be to the point, I mean you're both 5 years more mature now and you most likely exchanged some or the other bodily fluids before, so you should be able to afford an honest talk without letting the emotions control you.
I just hope for your own sake that the alcoholic thing was a phase that's long passed, if not then drop that shit right now because there's few things that scream damaged goods louder than an alcoholic female, especially at young age.

t. the married guy from the few posts above

>>9581831
>I assumed guys that were into anime would prefer sweet since it's very idol-like
>>9584049
See >>9583972.

Anime and idols are two different worlds.
The large mass of anime watchers isn't deeply interested in idol stuff. The average anime watcher might have heard of a couple of idol franchises like Love Live, Idolmaster, AKB48 and the likes, maybe even watched a series for entertainment, but that's about it. It also highly depends on the circle of people you hang out with and perhaps even on your location. So your personal view might be different.
Speaking for my own, my local anime comm doesn't care about idols, 2D or 3D, at all. I have only one friend outside of the group who watched atleast the anime series of LL and Idolmaster.


>>9581817 isn't quite wrong on gothic and anime.
Gothic lolita is basically the only substyle actively present in anime. I'd even go as far as saying the majority of anime watchers doesn't even know that gothic lolita itself isn't a fashion but merely a part, a substyle, of the lolita fashion.

>>9581403
>gets nitpicky at cof post I show him. Also having someone I can laugh at ita pics with is great

My boyfriend in a nutshell, its great. He has a pretty decent understanding of the fashion and is ruthless when it comes to itas, definitely one of my favourite things to do with him is browse cgl or cof.
He's really supportive of the fashion and even encourages me to spend money on it, only downside is he doesn't really like pastel vomit sweet, which is fair enough. Not that i wear it, but i do admire and someday might want to pull it off

>>9581791
My boyfriend has fucked me in burando while I was in non-lolita clothing before

>>9585494
This is a really confusingly-worded sentence, you mean he was wearing burando and you were wearing non-lolita clothes?

>>9585500
That's exactly what she meant, you probably think the sentence is weird cause you expected her in burando

>>9580917


> Wasn't actively wearing lolita when I met bf/now fiancé, but in the research and saving cash stage
> Did expect it when i was like "I JUST BOUGHT MY FIRST BRAND DRESS"
> has seen from my first ita coord to my most OTT
> can tell me what petticoat a dress needs
> crits my coords better than most gulls
> KNOWS HIS BRANDS
> buys me brand on sale as long as I can wear it in a daily context
> shocked me with a self-formed opinion on cosplay-lolitas in cons (accompanied by a look of disgust)
> thinks the community is toxic yet actively participates in my online saltiness LOL
> says the whole ouji/aristo trend is ugly and he thinks a dapper suit looks better next to a lolita because then the attention is on her instead and he then legit is just an accessory
> is entirely uninterested in men's alternative and j-fash


I think i'm pretty lucky

>>9580917

my girlfriend isn't a lolita, she prefers casual streetwear and atheleisure stuff but will occasionally dress up with me on special occasions like my birthday etc

also

>helps me pick out coordinates
>100% patience with corset and waist ties
>will carry extra tote bag with my stuff in it so i can have my tiny matching AP plush bag
>looks at new releases with me

last week she offered me buy me a dress. i didn't want to since it's a luxury purchase, but seeing that she cares so much and even asked what i wanted made me so happy <3 i love my girlfriend

tfw ur a queer lolita gal who would kill for a lolita girlfriend

>>9586096
Tfw you're a queer lolita in a straight romance because girls make you beyond nervous

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The guy I'm dating is really sweet about it. I was nervous to bring it up to him at first but once when he came across the style on his own he mentioned how he thought those dress's would look really cute on me. Soothed my anxieties right away I can tell you that.

I havent worn an outfit out and about with him yet, but maybe soon.

>bonus points he looks like Mamu from Sailor Moon and god damn it I will manage to get us to couples cosplay together.

>>9586103
Understandable, girls in lolita are beautiful and I too am intimidated n nervous

>>9586103
>>9586120
what if I pretend I'm a girl for both of you?

>>9586123
If that includes you wearing burando with me, I'd be content.

>>9585833
>shocked me with a self-formed opinion on cosplay-lolitas in cons (accompanied by a look of disgust)
OT but I think the conlita meme's gone a bit far lately. Someone who wears their "kawaii loli cosplay" once a year is annoying, but there are also a lot of genuine newbies whose first foray into wearing lolita in public is at a con because they' won't stand out as much that way. It's pretty harsh to blanket give any conlita a look of disgust.

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>tfw i mention getting back into lolita now I have the spare cash to be picky with pieces
>tfw my boyfriend of five years is encouraging me to

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My boyfriend recently mentioned that he doesn't like when I call him cute because he relates it to being childish.
He refers to me as cute all the time.

He's out of the country at the moment, so I can't delve further into this with him as he is in a place that doesn't have cell service. (soon as he gets back though)

He's the first guy I've gone out with that actually likes lolita and begs me to wear it.. but he seems to equate it with being childish because it's cute.

>inb4 ageplay
He's younger than me. By a few years actually.

When we first started dating, I hid my stuffed animals in my closet because I was afraid of this very thing but then I got more comfortable with him and he said he didn't care about them, so he's seen them.

Quite awhile back, I was in a thread where anons were fucking raging about stuffed animals being paired with lolita. Almost every anon said that carrying around a stuffed animal with any outfit, even lolita was childish and shouldn't be done.

but they seem to be a part of the fashion. A lot of bags are meant to look like them.
So where do you guys draw the line? Like at what point does it become ageplay?

>>9588238
It's normal for lolitas to like childish things. It doesn't make you a fetishist or something, those anons just don't understand lolita. Brands have described their concept as little girl clothes for adult women, and people like Takemoto and Misako have said lolita is about not forgetting your "little girl heart". That's why stuffed animal, toy and fairytale prints get made a lot.

>>9588238
>>9588238
>My boyfriend recently mentioned that he doesn't like when I call him cute because he relates it to being childish.
>He refers to me as cute all the time.
Honestly I doubt it's an ageplay thing that you should get onto him about as soon as he gets back, you're only going to look weird and presumptuous if you do. I'd bet $100 that it's just a standard fragile masculinity thing, since it's seen as acceptable for women to be childish and cute but a guy being called cute makes him seem weak, girly or gay. My high school bf and first university bf did the exact same thing (calling me cute but getting offended if I called them cute) and it definitely wasn't because they thought my style was childish because I was a massive tomboy back then and didn't wear jfash. When I pointed out that they called me cute they were like "But you're a girl! It's different! It's weird to call a guy cute!"

You're gonna look like the ageplayer in this situation if your first assumption with a guy having that double standard is that he's attracted to children, and you're only associating lolita with ageplay if you say the reason you're worried is because he likes lolita. Not saying it's not possible that he's got a thing for childishness, but it's really common for guys to call girls cute and it's probably not that deep.

Also, FWIW, I'm a university student and have met a lot of people that like plushies and cute things and nobody's ever thought it was weird. If you have less than six I don't think you need to hide them at all as it definitely won't be percieved as weird to have a few stuffed animals, although if you're a collector with like 20 it might be a bigger problem.

>>9588238
If he's younger than you by a few years or more, he could be sensitive about the age gap, as it's more traditionally accepted for men to be older than their partners. So he encourages your "childish" side to make him feel better about being technically younger. Maybe?

>tfw no lolita gf to support and encourage

>>9585833
>> thinks the community is toxic yet actively participates in my online saltiness LOL

I laughed out loud when I got to this part ngl. Reminds me of my husband a little bit! He doesn't really care for getting involved with petty shit that goes down online and IRL, but he'll always listen to me when I share drama. He is a very good judge of character and trustworthy so I can feel comfortable asking for advice as well (I mod a comm). I really appreciate that of him.

When I got into lolita we'd been together for several years and he gave me the final push I needed to commit to it. He's taken me to NY when Tokyo Rebel reopened, he attended panels and fashions shows at cons with me, helped me order burando, he ties my waist ties and gives me feedback on my coords. And when we're together in public, he's my repellent for rude people lol.

I have friends who have partners and families that give them varying degrees of support. One of my friend's husband really hate being seen with her when she's in lolita, he keeps calling it a costume and he insists the attention it garners is negative (all despite the fact that he also has hella nerdy interests and she dressed pretty close to lolita to begin with). He's not a bad guy, it just makes me a little bit sad for her cause I know it upsets her from time to time. Realizing that makes me appreciate my husband even more though.

>>9581805
Clean lines, muted colors, mature look, often sticks with simple makeup and I like to use the term "Elegant" when I see a girl wearing it. I like Gothic and Mori the most, but don't have too much of a problem with Sweet.

I don't like OTT though. Just very off putting in my book, but if you like it, go for it.

-Source; Am dude with Gothic/Military Lolita SO

>>9584489
Adding onto this, if he says no, don't try to force him. You're the one that fucked it up, accept it and move on if that's what it takes.

>>9588238
As a dude, I hate being called cute. I've always preferred the more masculine modifiers however; Handsome, rugged, etc, etc.

>>9588248
Yeah the sweet part is, but I don't think I look as childish when I wear gothic.

>>9588623
Ha, I'm not gonna get onto him about it. I more just want to know if he thinks I'm childish. We have really good discussions and I find it fun to talk in depth about stuff with him whatever it is.
Anyway.
You're right, he doesn't want to seem weak or girly as he's fairly fit. I told him I was only saying it because he has a very young looking face, like younger than his actual age. He's 27 but gets mistaken for being in high school.

I probably have like 10 stuffed animals/plushies total. One is huge though and I sleep next to it cause there's no where for it to go other than on my bed. it's also white so I keep it on the bed to avoid it getting dirty.

>>9588794
That's an interesting way to look at it and I bet you're not wrong! I'm only like 3 years older than him but I'm also about to be in my 30s and he's still gonna be in his 20's for awhile so I can see why he wants me to come across as youthful.

>tfw he asked me to dress up for when he gets back
He's the best.

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>>9589015

Bless that man's soul. You better be giving head to him until he dies lol

>>9589085
I can't say the word "handsome" without feeling goofy. I'd never call anyone rugged either. It's just not my style and it sounds kind of silly to me.

I've always thought guys were cute but I guess it's cause I'm attracted to more youthful looking faces.

Obligatory
>tfw no gf
I do have a crush and she's really supportive about lolita. She's always there to tell me how cute and beautiful I am when I post a pic in (or out!) of lolita. And while receiving compliments is nice, from her it's extra nice.
But she's not into girls or at least more into boys so ah well. Maybe one day I'll find one.

>>9580917
sage bc unrelated but whats op's pic from?

>>9589129
seconding the tfw no gf. I just want a lolita gf or a equally dorky weeby gf who's supportive about lolita and loves me, wants to grow old with me and doesn't feel embarassed going out with me dressed like that (my coordinates are pastel coloured most of the time but tend to be pretty simple and mostly old school, even if i wear a print i keep it simple)

>>9589134
This YouTube video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6_O_W7BYD-E

My gf has always wanted to wear lolita but she's trans and in the process of transitioning. She hates being seeing in public and is borderline agoraphobic, but she bought me three dresses in the last year, loves when I wear lolita around the house or on my own, helps me plan coords and is insanely supportive. Once she's finished transitioning we plan on twinning and she's suggested a bunch of matching coords we could do together. I feel ridiculously lucky.

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>>9589164
>girlfriend
>has a dick

>>9581567
>tfw no mom to help me dress myself
a bit harsh, but you can look into these things yourself anon and doing so, looking better, showing an interest in the fashion will help you get a gf

>>9589891
I've had many girlfriends in the past, anon. Just never a lolita gf.

>>9581805
I adore classic and gothic for looking so elegant. They're versatile and can still veer towards being more cute if they want to, but the dresses themselves are often beautiful and of excellent quality.

Sweet is a lot less elevated I feel, it looks more like a costume, looks like ageplay to normies, and is often easier to cut corners on quality with by getting cheap taobao accessories. A sweet coord can get away with $10 plastic looking shoes from taobao, while a classic coord is able to wear something of incredibly high quality like fluevogs.

Gothic lolita is almost entirely black, so coordinates must rely on texture rather than print and colour in order to add depth. This means employing different fabrics and being careful with accessories, as the coord being so dark means accessories will pop that much more.

t. a guy

>>9581805
Because they are allergic to pink

Succ

>>9589913
This nigga gets it
>>9589921
We're not allergic to pink, sweet usually just looks too OTT to the average guy and it can look like a bad Halloween costume if it's not done properly.

>>9589913
Why do you know so much about lolita?

Also there are cheap taobao accessories for classic and gothic, fyi.

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>bf of 3 years has always liked it when I dress up
>but doesnt like dresses
>tfw every time I dress up he says I look cute
> but occasionally will try to pull the "you spend too much money on dresses" card when convenient

I dont know how to feel about this so I leave it alone

>>9589932
>>9589913
It's better when men don't know fashion

>>9590040
I would've thought any gull would be thrilled to have her boyfriend take an interest in lolita or jfash in general instead of writing it all off as stupid costumes or complaining that it costs too much

>>9590064
If you read above, you see some of us don't care if our boyfriends take an interest in it. Besides, there's a middle ground between " stupid costumes or complaining that it costs too much" and knowing about Fluevogs.

>>9590064
Yeah but personally, I don't want the guy to be able to tell me how to dress.
My boyfriend likes seeing me in it. I'm glad he doesn't like, nitpick my outfits.

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>gulls afraid of their lives their boyfriends will actually know something about jfash and call them out for being ita

>>9590079
Projecting much?

>>9590079
>your SO calls you the equivalent of ugly
Sounds like an unhealthy relationship.

>>9589913
You're kidding yourself if you think most gothic/classic lolitas don't also use cheap taobao accessories or shoes.

>>9590139
>thinking your SO lying to you, kissing your ass and telling you you're perfect at everything you do is a healthy relationship

Itas gonna ita

>>9590148
>only extreme options are available for this scenario
I didn't say that. Hell. My boyfriend does call me out on stuff and me to him but we don't call each other ugly because it's mean and useless.

>>9590156
but if you were an ita your boyfriend should be the one to tell you

>>9590161
Well he doesn't know the in's and out's of the style so he can't make the call. He just likes how it looks.

>>9590163
Stop replying to the bait anon.

>>9590167
Ita detected

>>9581190
HOLY CRAPO, this is the same as my bf! Love it!

>>9589913
Uh no. What is thrifting for classic and gothic? Sweet has a much harder time finding anything useful that's locally sourced. Gothic and classic can both use cheap vintage items.

>>9590167
I can do whatever I want, anon. I think I did a damn good job of standing my ground too.

>>9590187
Unironically replying to bait makes you look like a moron. But congrats on 'standing your ground' I guess.

>>9590194
>namecalling
now who's trolling, hmm?

>>9590194
>landwhale who got dumped by her /fa/ bf this salty she's still an ita

loving every laugh

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>>9590204
>loving every laugh

>>9590187
You deserve 4chan Gold[tm] for your bravery. So empowering! :^)

>>9590194
>>9590257
You're the original troll I replied to.
keep being butthurt tho!

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>>9589941
>>9590142
I like the style and wear a lot of jfashion
Sweet can be done tastefully and look great, I just think it's hard to elevate it. Every style has access to cheap accessories, but they're the most forgiving in sweet, which doesn't really care of their purse or shoes look like plastic and might even prefer it that way. Cheap fabric and fake leather is a lot more obvious in black than pastel, so it really stands out in gothic. Incorporating different textures to add depth to a coord rather than prints can also work against you just as much as it can for you, so.. while on average I think sweet coords may look better than gothic, I find the high end to be a lot more interesting and aesthetically pleasing.

>>9590040
It's probably not as freeing as just getting handed a credit card and told to go nuts, but I've bought my SO sweet dresses, look out for rare/dream stuff on auction, and help her with her shoes, bows, hair, accessories and all that. I can see how it would be nice to feel more knowledgeable and stylish in comparison to your SO but I would rather be equals and help each other look our best. I have my own preferences, but am supportive - and not just blindly so.

>>9580936
congrats on your gay/bi friend.

>>9590257
>paying for 4chan
No thanks.

>>9589901
showing interest in fashion will help you get a LOLITA gf

>>9584273
Dump his ass

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>>9583141
how the FUCK do you spend 250 a month on kickstarter games. i earn good money and still don't piss money like that up the wall

>>9594883
>boyfriend all excited
>says they let him put a custom comment in the game's credit
>because of donating so much money
>he makes me get dressed up and sit down to watch the credits
>I-is this going to b-be THAT moment?
>Is he going to ask me to marry him via a kickstarter game's credits?
>I watch on edge, trepidatious af
>we see his comment
>"There it is Anon! Look! Isn't it awesome? It says MY NAME!"

>>9594917
you've gotta be pulling my leg, i amuse he has some good qualities, but Christ

>>9594921
He's more just a super-derp aspie nerd but his parents were really abusive when he was young, so it's nice to see him happy knowing what his life was like.

>>9594926
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Codependency

My boyfriend loves the fashion, but he's a romantic sap and thinks I'm some kind of Disney princess, so :P

>>9589921
Not allergic to pink. Love it all the time.

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My husband is too perfect for me.

>loves that I like to dress up
>helps me pick out things for my coords
>helps me save up for things because I don't make a lot of money at the moment
>lets me talk for ages about clothes
>into historical fashion himself
>dresses more like Andrew Carnegie or Henry Ford than Mana-sama but he still always looks nice
>matches my coords sometimes
>encourages me to wear Lolita often
>relates to normie reactions to Lolita because he gets similar reactions
>is tall and somewhat intimidating so creeps stay away when we're out
>knows my favourite brands and dream dresses
>will sometimes browse /cgl/ with me if I browse /o/ with him
>genuinely respects the fashion

We've known each other since we were 13 and 14, and I've been in love with Lolita for about that long, so of course he knows how important it is to me. But still, he really goes above and beyond when it comes to trying to understand the fashion and support my love of it, even when he doesn't really have to. I don't know how I got so lucky. I wish everyone had someone like him.

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>>9589106
My husband says "thanks anon"

kek