Lolita friends and popularity

>popular lolitas

No, thank you. Even if you're the nicest, most well-dressed person, /cgl/ will find a reason to hate you.

>>9446606
Sorry you were posted.

No, are you in highschool?

>>9446601

I was just talking to friends about this in Denmark today and its more so that the people that are "popular lolitas" at least here, are all friends from back then. The scene is dead now, but back when people wanted to be friends with them to be in the "in crowd" didn't realize that they only wanted to be friends with people that were genuin about their passion for Lolita, and by getting to know the person behind the dress.

I'm guessing if you just focus on yourself, and are a nice person that they will eventually invite you out to some events, but the key is to do it for yourself, and to be a better Lolita, and not do it because you want anything out of it.

>>9446617
it's true though?
>inb4 sorry you got posted
i'm a lonelita who keeps all her pictures to herself, it's just silly to pretend that that kind of cattiness doesn't exist here

>>9446606
>>9446665

Being hated on CGL has no real bearing IRL, though, except for the possibility of people having pre-conceptions that can be quickly dissolved if the person really is as nice as they're made out to be.

If you're someone who isn't bothered by anonymous comments/empty shit-posting, then you'll be fine popular or unpopular.

As far as advice goes, I say continue to talk to your lolita idols and if you find that they're not as nice as you had perceived, then just let it go and nothing will be hurt. If they are really nice, then they'll talk to you more and you can build a relationship with them just like any other person. Lolita "celebrities" are not real celebrities by any means, we're all just average people in a hobby, so you should look at them exactly as that.

>>9446642
It's like this in my country too. There are a few efamous girls, and most of them are much older than me and have all known each other for years. They're friendly and chatty at meets to anyone well-dressed but I know I can't really break into their group and become a proper friend because they already have a lot of friends and there's an age gap with me. I don't feel sad because of this like OP seems to, it's just how it is. It's not like the efamous girls are the only nicely-dressed girls, and I don't feel like we have enough hobbies in common to be that compatible outside lolita anyway.

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It is entirely possible to be well liked and popular and not be posted on CGL. Check out Shelby Cloud and Kammie/Mintymix. Both well loved, well dressed lolitas who no one utters a negative word about on cgl.

It's relatively simple
-Take great coordinate photos with good lighting. Don't use a cell phone, or if you do make sure its crystal clear.
-Be somewhat original, but don't be too daring. Follow trends, but keep tabs on when something becomes tired and overdone.
-Be cute and relatively thin
-And the most important one, the most crucial element into getting CGL to like them is give them no ammunition to gossip about you. Don't talk about politics or anything pertaining to social justice. This doesn't mean be an anti-sjw edgelord, don't talk about it at all. Anywhere. DON'T BE NEGATIVE ONLINE. Don't "vent" about anything, don't let anyone know what is going on in your life. Don't complain about gossip or drama, don't talk about "haters" or "bullies". Just post your coordinate photos and go.

>>9446601
It's pretty easy to make friends with popular lolitas if you talk to them, they are probably popular because they are friendly

>>9446601
It's probably gonna be healthier in the long run to your mind if you stop caring about being popular

>>9446601
Talk more, make more friends, post good outfits, who knows maybe you'll become popular. If not you'll have a good time so who cares.

>>9446601
I guess I fit into the description of "popular lolita with a circle of popular friends", so I'll share my secret:
I have been into lolita for a long time and made friends on the way. Easy as that.
Some of my friends became popular later on, some already were when I was introduced to them by our shared friends. I also continue to make lolita friends, because I tend to have a lot in common with other lolitas who are very involved on the fashion.

If you have a good online presence, make a good impression (read: are well dressed), visit international events and don't stick to the few people you already know, but also talk to new ones, it's quite easy to make friends. I found that conversation flows more easily when we both know who we are talking to, so ie when someone introduces herself to me and I can connect her to her account, I have more topics to talk about.

So, if you are very active in the local and international lolita comm, you will eventually make friends who are popular. Just don't force a friendship just because someone is popular, that won't make anyone happy.

>>9446601
It's simple
>Spend your life savings on burnado, take out as much of a loan as possible and spend it on lolita. The goal is to have as many unique ~rare~ coords as possible. Forget every other life goal

>Be slightly daring in your coords but not full blown ita. Enough to generate talk but not enough to be written off as ita autism

>Self-post yourself on cgl, making it obvious that it's yourself but denying it publicly

>You will soon become a lolcow and on your way to stardom

>The other lolcows will take notice of you and cling to you, since they are attention vampires and want to leech off any second-hand drama

Congratulations, you are now e-famous. All you had to do is let go of your dignity, pride, and any non-lolita plans for the future.

>>9447680
dont forget to buy a japanese cat as an accessory.

I spoke to a friend who knows a lot of popular lolitas without being one herself... the thing she absolutely hates is when she's at an event chatting with her e-fame-friends and other girls come up to her and ask her to take a photo of them with e-f-f. Like.. once or twice she doesn't mind but after a while she starts to feel like she's being treated like e-f-f's assistant. Girls will even ask her to hold their purses or whatever... Being friends with e-f-f isn't always amazing. She's decided mostly to just hang out with them one on one or at smaller local meetups. I don't blame her.

>>9447773
True, this sucks! Finding the balance between caring for your friends while not being rude to new people can be quite difficult.

At the last bigger event I've been to I was often stopped and asked for pictures when I was just in the process of getting somewhere with my friends. I was constantly torn between not being rude and brushing people off, and not annoying my friends by letting them wait.

I want lolita friends period. I'm an oldfag and most of my friends that were into lolita are not into it anymore or going into the more subdued styles.

>>9447773
>>9447807
I feel this. My efame friends are very nice about making sure to include me in things, but it's weird to be completely ignored by the new people.

What do you guys do when you meet well known lolitas? Not really efamous but easily recognizable people that pop up on Instagram from time to time. I ask this because one time I met a well known Lolita though a mutual Lolita friend and I said "oh I think I've seen you on Instagram before" and she immediately looked upset, said "...oh" and walked away. So now I just pretend that I don't know people when I meet other lolitas that I've seen online.

>>9447959
Not exactly a good way to start a convo. If you want to bring up that you know them from seeing them online you should throw in a compliment or something to sound less like a creep. If it's someone you've just seen in passing and aren't following then it's only going to be awkward if you bring it up.

I usually don't go up to people that I know of just from seeing them online unless we've message each other or commented on each others photos.

>>9447971
message = messaged

>>9447971
I think unless they're straight up e-famous, it's probably not the best idea to mention their Instagram/Facebook/whatever at all. Even with the compliment it still feels uncomfortable.

>>9447959
That's rude imo. I've had people walk up and say they recognize me from tumblr and I didn't act like that. I swear some Lolita's are so fucking socially awkward

>>9447959
Once, before going to a meet with an efamous lolita I decided that even thought I knew well enough about her I'd just treat her like any other person and introduce myself and ask about her. It should go normal enough as she doesn't frequent our meets. I was curious whether she would start pitching about her efame or act really chill. Surprisingly she was super chill and never once mentioned anything even close to efame or what she does. Was curious to talk to me and as well. That was nice since I kind of expected most of the efamous girls to be very conceited and narcissistic.

Another time I met a lolita who is not efamous but very distinct. I had previously saved photos of her coords as inspo. Had no idea she was coming to the small meet and was floored when she started talking to me. She was super nice, down to earth and pretty girl as well. Every time I see she's going to a meet I get excited but we don't have much in common sadly so I don't think we can be real friends. I'm OK just admiring her coords, though I don't save photos of her anymore because it just feels weird.

>>9447959
I talk to them if I'm around them but if there is no reason to talk to them, I don't talk to them.

I think that it is rather rude what that lolita did to you though. I'm not efamous but people have come up to me and told me they saw my pictures on the internet and I've thanked them for it. I don't know why anyone would be upset about someone seeing their photo online if they publicly posted it?

I think I like knowing people who do things for the community as well as indie designers. They're all well-dressed but it's fun to talk about shared interests and crafts. Plus, I enjoy supporting their work. I don't really have much interest in pursuing e-famous people for friendships or wishing I was friends with them. I think having lolita friends and acquaintances scattered around the country who like different styles, have been into it for various amounts of time, and do their own little things is pretty rewarding.

>>9448125
>I'm not efamous but people have come up to me and told me they saw my pictures on the internet and I've thanked them for it
I would feel weird thanking someone when they were just stating a fact. I can see why the girl was just like "..oh". I'd probably end up blurting out "Uh, yeah I post things online.." and then ruin any chance of making friends.

>>9447959
I will admit to being a little bit awkward when people bring up knowing me from instagram or whatever, since I'm not actually e-famous but have a distinctive wardrobe. I usually try and thank them, but if it's during a meet it's possible that I'm already pretty anxious from being in a social setting; I try very hard to stick to people I know and have a hard time talking to new people. So, when it happens, I usually won't continue into a conversation, and I'm always really worried that it comes off as snobby and unfriendly. After every meet I come home and check cgl to see if someone said like, "I met so-and-so and complicated her, and she just blew me off!"

It does kind of put a person on the spot but at the same time, I do appreciate people telling me they like my outfits or whatever! I'm sure the person you complimented was just awkward or doesn't know how to respond well to compliments.

>>9448154
*complimented, thanks auto correct

>>9448145
Hahaha oh my god I do this, just last week a stranger told me they knew me from tumblr (a customer during work), and it's very surreal when it happens outside of a meet, so I told them, "Yep!! That's me!! I post on Tumblr!"

I once mistook a ouji for another ouji at a teaparty because I am so out of loop. Proceeded to spill spaghetti everywhere.

>>9448188
I once mistook a lolita for another lolita due to very similar features. Told her I saw her Tumblr. Thankfully that girl also had a Tumblr so crisis averted?

>>9448145
I should have clarified that people have said they saw pictures online and complimented my coordinates.

>>9448154
Different anon here. I've been approached by popular lolitas and even been invited to their private meets and basically the first thing they told me was that they recognised me through tumblr and the like. Back then I only posted floordinates and I wondered how they knew who I was? Anyways, I was a bit awkward and shy, but also because I don't feel comfortable talking in a foreign language and it's often kind of difficult for me getting into small talk. They were friendly, straight forward and patient with me though, so that kind of saved the convos in the end. I still prefer being normally approached though. I was a little overwhelmed with the situation and I can image that it must be similar for the more well known lolitas. In the end they are still people like everyone else.

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I'd rather not be e-famous because I'm super insecure and prefer not to get too much attention.

There's a girl in my comm who I'm starting to get along with very well. We have practically identical tastes in lolita as well as many other interests, we're the same age and our personalities work well together. It's awkward though because she's the most e-famous girl in our comm and I worry that people will think I'm only cozying up to her for that reason.

I had one friend at a local lolita event mention that I was * Tumblr blog name* to a friend and she screamed "NO WAYY YOURE * Tumblr blog name*?!" I was just like yeah that's me my face was bright red I felt really weird because I had been helping set stuff up so I was in a kigurumi with no makeup on, I'm also not very cute in person so I thought she had been upset to see me irl, happy ending though girl was really sweet and I've met her multiple times now at events and we're friends on 4th and ig. :)

>>9448128
Same. I love throwing money at our local indie shop owner/designer because she's not just super sweet and kind, but also because it feels like I'm investing in our community. She organises a lot of things and is the main reason our community managed to snag a brand guest at our last big event. She's not well known at all online, though. I don't think she feels the need to be, as long as her shop is doing well.
I also get along with the girls who are popular online because they're pretty and dress well, but they don't feel as much like "core" parts of the comm.

>>9448154
I think a lot of people are like this. It's easy to feel slighted when you go up to someone you feel you "know" and compliment them only to have them not gush over you in return, but I think it's important to keep in mind that a lot of lolitas are kind of socially awkward and introverted. I've been mistaken as a snob before just because I was at a social setting that tired me the heck out and it sucked to have someone spread rumours about me being stuck up just because I was feeling a little out of it. So I try to be understanding and reserve judgement whenever someone doesn't respond as enthusiastically to me as I am to them.

>>9447636

This is very good advice, anon. Thanks

Pretty sure I've had the chance to become e-famous. Been in the fashion for a long time and have enough of a closet but I shy away from the attention. Also, constantly keeping up with social meetup is a real pain. I don't know about being friends with efamous lolitas. Don't you think they're too much of an attentionwhore? If you still chase fame tho, make sure you have a good fashion sense and be sure to be thin. There are no fatty-chans who have "made it" u kno? Even if they think they are efamous they really aren't. So really, you should be chasing thinspo.

>>9447959
If you absolutely MUST mention that you've seen someone on a social media platform, then at least follow it up with, "Thank you for sharing your coords! It actually inspired me to do X and helped me with Y." Make it a conversation, not an observation.

>>9448726
People might think that, but if you two remain friends and you don't suddenly start aiming for e-fame yourself, your comm members should realize you two just like each other

>>9448726
I've been in this situation too, I had the same style as a popular girl (and had for a couple of years before I even knew who she was) and always worried people thought I was copying her, because we also had a similar face and features.

>>9446708
Kammie used to get bitched about on here almost anytime she was brought up. She doesn't anymore, but I think that's mostly because drama is tolerated much less.

>>9449654
I'm in this situation at the moment, we happen to have similar tastes and quite a few of the same dresses, and I'm worried people think I'm just copying her.

>>9446601
You just have to be cool about these things and not come off so thirsty, let it happen naturally. You might not even have anything in common with them so what would be the point?

I'm one of the more popular lolitas, probably in the top 10 most recognizable to the board. I almost never respond to these kinds of threads out of fear of someone figuring out who I am, but that's not very likely if I keep it vague, so whatever.

First of all, all those selfies you see everyone taking with each other? How it looks like we're all super besties and practically the human equivalent of Twilight Sparkle's squad? It's not real. Yeah, obviously some of us really are close friends, but of all the girls I take selfies with only like five are people I actually hang out with outside meets and cons. Selfies in the world of "internet famous" people are kind of like when musicians collaborate. It's not actually because they're super good friends like they make it look, but because they know it will strengthen their fanbase. What gets more likes than a picture of a super popular lolita? Two super popular lolitas. When you post the pic of like four of you together, that's when people really get excited. I have participated in selfies like this with people upon my first time meeting them.

A lot of these girls also seriously talk shit about each other. Another popular lolita I'm friends proposed a drinking game at a con once to take a shot every time someone mentions how much they can't stand Lor, because we've met so many popular lolitas that bitch about her that it's practically become a meme.

Also, when you have a large audience every. little. thing. you do online is heavily scrutinized and the speculations people make are so fucking crazy. I can't even give any of the many examples of this I've dealt with because it's too specific and would probably out me. One girl I know even had people combing through her liked videos on YT just to make fun of her taste.

[1/2]

>>9450181
I'm one of the "popular" ones too, I know what you mean about the selfies. I have tons of pictures with random people, but very few close friends.

>>9450181
[2/2]

Then there's the fans that cross the line from "enthused about your existence" to "it puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again". I have genuinely feared for my safety at cons and meets because too many people don't know where the line is. Here is a short list of some of the shit I've dealt with...

>girl following me around a con and taking pics of me from behind for at least 45 minutes
>girl telling me what a huge fan she and going on about how amazing it is to meet me right in front of my bathroom stall while I'm changing my fucking pad
>numerous people telling me if it weren't for me, they'd have killed themselves (it's sweet when someone's like "you helped me survive through a really dark time" but when you're literally telling me you'd kill yourself without my online presence the first time we speak... that's kinda scary)
>"You're like the cutest person ever! If I were a guy, I would totally rape you." (literally my first time speaking to this person)

So yeah, being "internet famous" is very romanticized. I enjoy it because, for me, the good outweighs the bad, but it's not a magical lollipop sunshine forest and those friendships you think of as #squadgoals are a calculated facade.

ITT: everyone is an e-famous lolita or thinks they have the opportunity to be one

>>9450193
>those experiences
Holy. Shit. I would never want to be a popular lolita. Good luck, girl.

Also, OP, I forgot to answer this question...
>How do we achieve either one or both?

For becoming popular, it's pretty easy.
>have a decent wardrobe, it doesn't even need to be huge (you'll notice most of the biggest lolitas only have 20-30 main pieces in wardrobe posts/videos)
>coord well! this is the biggest one of all. Peachie only has like 2 brand dresses, but people still love her because she knows how to dress herself, whereas some people with ridiculous amounts of brand have very little following because they suck at putting outfits together
>don't ever do/post anything that can get you in trouble such as political views that you know most lolitas would be against
>don't be super awkward on camera if you go the YT route. fake high pitched voices or talking so quietly no one can hear you is very offputting
>always use decent cameras

As far as befriending us goes...
>don't be ita af
>DON'T BE FUCKING WEIRD ABOUT MEETING US. like, it's okay to be like "I love your site! you're one of my favorite lolitas", but if you're calling us senpai and fangirling like you're meeting One Direction or some shit, it's gonna freak us out
>remember that we are real people and don't go into the conversation thinking of us as you're hopeful ~kawaii desu dream moe bff~
>don't try too hard. like, don't try to flex your lolitaness to impress us (be it knowledge, wardrobe size, time in the fashion, how much you hate itas, etc) we know it's forced and it's really cringey

>>9450181
whats wrong w lor?

>>9450234
The complaints are usually about how snobby she supposedly is and that she's very overrated and not that great of a lolita. I've only met her a couple times, but I didn't get a snobby vibe from her at all. Honestly, I think they're mostly just being salty because they don't get why she's the most popular active lolita.

>>9449211
Not true, Agnes is pretty famous and she is plus size and great plus size inspo. I would love more plus size famous girls.

>>9450283
Wrongo. People dislike her because she's passive-aggressive, bitter, and can't be happy for her friends when they're happy. She gets jealous super easy and it affects all conversation with her.

>>9450296
Not the anon you are responding to but in the older days, vanillablitz was quite popular and she was on the chubbier side.

>>9450296
I thought people still disliked her because she used to try to bait cgl in her CoF posts

>>9450300
this, i also find that her coords borderline on ita sometimes and that face certainly doesn't help

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>>9449815
When was Kammie ever bitched about? And I mean really bitched about, not complaining about OTT sweet or split wigs. I did a quick search of the archives and couldn't find any negative comments about her. She had no drama.

>>9449211
>tfw nobody remembers vanillablitz

>>9450724
I mentioned vanillablitz earlier.

>>9450361
She was bitched about when cgl didn't have an archive. It was mostly petty stuff like people saying she was overrated, ugly, and mooching off her parents. Nothing big.

>>9450296
Who is Agnes?

>>9451518
Used to go by pandasoppa or something like that now goes by bowsbeforeboys I think

I'm friends with a now efamous Lolita. Although I was friends before her fame and before she was into Lolita, she's probably the worse person I know. We used to go out and do shit in the fashion as we learned from it. But then she finally hit it with the fame and won't even talk to any of her previous friends any more. Like we are just here to boost her likes and shit. You invite her to meets even small private meets and she's "too busy" to attend or " I totally forgot I was up all night working". I mean I would understand if you where actually like working but she's mainly just here stirring the salt pile and talking selfies.

What's even worse is our styles have always been pretty similar since that's how we became friends in the beginning. But now I can't get prints I like in the colors I like because I'm " copying her and trying to be her". I don't care about the fame but the fame has become all she cares about that because I choose not to post all over every platform for attention, I'm nothing to her any more but an extra like. I stopped liking her stuff since then.

i don't really see the benefit of being an e-famous lolita besides attention and likes. if we take a look at the "e-famous" western ones we have right now--say, lovely lor, batty, peachie--they're not reaping a whole lot of benefits. youtube ad revenue, i guess, but that doesn't pay enough for the influx of negative attention and being constantly under scrutiny imo. and iirc lor and batty have been guests at events. but does that really have much prestige? the most successful western-based e-famous lolita i can think of is RinRin, but she actually pursues work in the field and doesn't just sit on her ass

people here always bash e-famous lolitas yet they want to join their ranks and it boggles my mind. you'll just be another one of them. i guess attention is worth that to some people?

>>9450181
>>9450193
sup girlyhoot

>>9451905
You don't have to necessarily be efamous, but being slightly known in the community by posting online can help you make friends, which if you truly do love the fashion and post for that reason, I think is really great. I've been able to travel most places and meet up with people I know from the internet, and get to know people who I really admire, just from posting online.

For the really efamous, I expect it's much more tiring than that because they have to watch what they say and be friendly to so many people in order to not be scrutinized. Some people don't mean to become popular though, so I guess it's not a choice that's up to them. Like, take Milkyfawn, she was done with that shit.

>>9451911
the first option is where i'm at right now, and even that is kinda shit. i probably made a mistake by not talking to people/expressing my opinions and personality enough, because i get the reblogs and the likes but i don't get anybody wanting to actually talk to me. and when i do reach out to people they seem kind of weirded out that someone "like me" (e.g. mildly recognizable) is talking to them. it creates a weird boundary with a lot of people and i'm afraid i won't live up to their expectations. sucks.

>>9449654
Same here.

>>9451911
I've also noticed that it really does help to be at least somewhat known online. My first year of attending meetups I would try to socialise with everyone but tended to be brushed aside after the initial "hey I love your coord"/"thanks I love yours too" pleasantries. Then a COF post of mine blew up for whatever reason and now people actually come up to me at meetups and want to have conversations with me and I've managed to make friends with similar interests. I think it's kinda shitty that I first needed to make a splash on social media before people in my own comm would even pay attention to me but hey, it worked.

>>9451928
Are you trying to talk to people online or IRL? I've also not managed to make any real contacts online aside from rando friend requests, but I've never been good at social media.

This is the reason I choose to keep my cordinates private and not posting them online often. I don't want to deal with the attention that the internet can bring it when I'm already getting attention outside of the internet for wearing it.
Creeps on the internet are creepier then the occasional ill informed normal dude asking if you had a daddy complex and walking away.

I'm friends with a lot of efamous lolitas. The first two fellow lolitas I ever met in person were at a meet I literally stumbled into, unaware that lolita meets were even a thing and then I gradually realised they both model for Japanese brand and have a huge internet following. It freaked me out to google certain dresses and pictures of them came up. I just feel perpetually inadequate (not helped by the fact my bf has a major crush on one) and always worry I'm embarrassing myself around them as much as I love them, but they're super sweet and have given me lots of gifts I don't feel I deserve.

>>9451972

Don't feel inadequate or bad, anon. I bet that these girls are friends with you because you're a super nice person, so don't underestimate yourself! It's true that there's a lot of salty people out there, but at the end of the day we're friends and nice to the people we really want :)

>>9451900
You kind of sound like the worse friend here...

>>9451909
I'm not Kate, nor am I entirely sire what about those posts are awful enough to warrant that assumption.

>>9451965
>it really does help to be at least somewhat known online
You don't even have to be popular, posting coords to CoF/Tumblr occasionally so people have at least seen your stuff before is enough. I guess when people see you in a solid coord at a meet they don't know if it's a one-off, but when they see you've made a whole bunch of solid outfits they admire you more.

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>tfw never recognized even though I have some decently popular coords because I photograph like a literal potato and look way different in person

Even if I wanted to be popular, it isn't an option for me because there was some non-lolita drama involving me a while back and now I can't show my face anywhere

>>9447959
add a "I loved your X coord! I liked how you added Y to make the coord pop~" if you knew who they were before

Just be cool, don't act thirsty, don't spaghetti, dress well and have attended a few meets and people will talk to you. Just be patient. I'm sure the pictures help but you still have to be able to have a decent conversation with people. Also you don't know who you're going to click with, you may end up having nothing in common with the clique you admire the most. I've become really good at talking to people and carrying a conversation, and to me it's more important having something in common, otherwise it's boring.

>>9452598
Lot's of efamous lolitas are really disliked in their local comm, so I don't think IRL social skills matter as much as the ability to fake being sweet online. IRL coordination skills don't even matter if you're good at posing/shoop.

>>9452324
Lmao

People just want to catch her posting

>>9450193

Holy. shit. I'm so glad I'm not efamous. Thx for sharing.

A girl in my comm is e-infamous (enfamous?), but she thinks she's e-famous, and is always trying to do shit to become even more known. One of the first times I met her, she immediately started talking about how she runs X Tumblr and has thousands of followers, and blah blah blah. Thing is, she's a nice girl, just super obsessed with e-fame. It's strange.

>>9451515
Wasn't her house hit by hurricane katrina and then her family cashed out on a super large insurance check tho?

>>9453055

Wuttt? These things actually happen IRL?

>>9451909
>tfw you love kate unironically

>>9452861
rainedragon or milkyswan! rainedragon or milkyswan!

>>9453055
I can't imagine this, as someone who did get hit pretty hard by Katrina and watched the insurance companies ditch everyone and FEMA be a bitch

>>9453119
what? rainedragon does that?

>>9453150
You're either rainedragon or under a rock. Yes she does it all the fucking time when she's not glued to her phone.

>>9450181
Exactly as the famous gamer YouTuber trio. Is obvious from miles that Markiplier, PewDiePie and Jack hate each other, and yet they forcefully hang out for likes. And fans love it

>>9453409
Mark and jack are pretty good friends. they all three have very busy lives so they can't be super buddy buddy all the time because of their work. Pewdiepie maybe has some stale water between the two but not to the pettiness that lolitas have. You obviously are not one of their friends and don't know any thing about them outside of their small excerpt of their lives they post on the internet. Don't spread rumor's when you don't know people. It's unbecoming of you.

>>9453109
I honestly kind of do, too. I sort of like a celebrity where we watched her rise and fall and she was often messy, but it was great watching her. I enjoy a lot of her coords and she has a lot of pieces I'm just glad to see someone own.

>>9453476
I'm >>9453109
I've met her a few times and she's so smiley and happy IRL and really fun to be around because she's quite funny too. I think people judge her really heavily by her photos because she was so chill in real life it came as a surprise to me.

>>9451900
Just stop giving a shit about what she or others think.
Buy the colorways you like, anyone with common sense knows people buy the same colorways all the time cause it's all rather limited.
It's not like every print comes in 10+ colors to choose from.
Has nothing to do with copying someone.

>>9452324
People on here are like that all the time.
Hey Kate, hey Voldie, hey *fill in the blanks*.
Selfpost, white knight, bla bla.
Ignore that shit.

>>9453513
I'm one of the few that like her too, she seems genuinly nice.

>>9453423
>Delusional fan detected
See? Faking friendships works ~

>>9453537
I think that hating her has transcended into a meme. Most of the people I know that have met her in the last year or so really love her.

>>9453423
>the pettiness that lolitas have
excuse me?

>>9453540
Sorry you don't have connections anon or skilled to help others out. Pitty because you had promise.

>>9453423
>Generalizes pettiness in Lolitas
>Answers with pettiness and passive aggressiveness

You need to be +18 to be here, you know?

>>9453158
Is she rich or something? I always see her on Facebook saying she accidentally ended up in the wrong state or country or some shit, and she travels out of country for events pretty often.

>>9450193
>>"You're like the cutest person ever! If I were a guy, I would totally rape you."

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE. Seriously, I just got very angry, who the fuck play down about raping someone?? That's NOT a compliment!!

Seriously, I am so sorry you had to live that, anon.

>>9453649
For some reason, weebs think rape is totemo kawaii. So many of them say shit like that.

>>9453158
I've never seen her go on about her blog without someone bringing it up first, she just kinda drops knowledge about shit a lot. I think she is awkward as hell, but I don't know about "obsessed with e-fame". In the end, I admire the work she does for the community as a whole. It's certainly a lot more than most people do, e-famous or not.

>inb4 "hurr durr hi rainedragon". Come off it.

>>9453534
Speaking of Voldie, I'm surprised at how she weaseled herself in with the "in" crowd.

>>9453575
Are you new to this fashion? It's not like you can go to Walmart to have a outfit. It costs a lot and if you can afford it you can afford to travel the world.

I'm basically the super well-dressed Sasquatch-chan in my comm. I dress well and people always gush over my outfits to me in person but I don't exist unless directly observed. Nobody gives a fuck about making conversation with me or approaching me beyond vague compliments on my outfit before they disappear into the crowd again. I have like two or three people that I routinely make conversation with at meets, and that's kinda it. Will I show up to a meet? Probably. Will I even make it into the group photo? Nope. If I do I'm a massively tall well-dressed blur in the background that the Discovery Channel occasionally runs specials on. My existence is a mystery, my attendance only captured on the list of ticket holders.

I kinda like it that way, but I'd also like to not be asked if I just joined the comm/just moved to town every time I attend a meet. I've been in the comm for the better part of a decade. Shit kinda sucks.

(Also, I do actually have Sasquatch-chan huge feet)

>>9454433
What the fuck are you on? Just because you can afford an expensive dress doesn't immediately mean you can drop thousands to regularly travel out of the country on a whim.

>>9454466
So are you wishing people made better conversation with you? Are you fun to talk to or do you just dress well?

>>9454631

Honestly I'm not sure. I kinda wish that my only interactions with people at meets (outside of the two or three people I usually talk to) weren't a couple drive-by compliments and then forgetting that I even exist, I guess. I want to make friends with other girls in my comm but as soon as I try to engage further they shoot off faster than a mayonnaise missile to go find someone else to talk to. Sometimes they'll even just walk off as I'm talking and I'm left standing there wondering if they were even listening in the first place.

>>9454631

Herped the derp and hit post without finishing what I was saying whoops

But yeah, I think I'm interesting to talk to, or at least I can be funny? I'm not even given a chance to talk to them though, they disappear so fast. Then when I see the same girls at another meet its the same thing all over again. It's like 50 First Dates except the only thing they forget is me. Like I said. I don't exist unless directly observed.

>>9454695
>mayonaise missile wtf?
Not sure I can help but I'm curious to know how you engage them, do you ask them questions about themselves? What are you usually talking about when they walk off, do you think you're rambling perhaps? Are you saying things like mayonnaise missile cause I completely do not get that. With the people that you do click with, what do you think it is about them that you connect the most with?

>>9454467
If you can afford the closet someone like rainedragon has then yes you can afford a well planned and thought out trip for 500 dollars. Travel agencies really do help make any trip affordable. It's not thousands to travel any more. Shit I go to Japan every summer for just under 500 because I know how to plan it. Even Germany and England to visit family. It's not as expensive as you think it is.

>>9453423
You tell them anon! That jelly bitch don't know them like you do~

>>9454712
Shut up. Just because I have the pleasure to be more then an aquantance doesn't mean your sarcasm is nessiary. It's really not that weird to have someone here that know them. But okay.

>>9454466
>>9454694
>>9454695
Same here anon. I know it's mostly because I'm quiet and a bit awkward but literally every single meetup someone assumes it's my first time and when I say no, I've been going to meetups for two years, they blame it on wigs.
>I don't wear wigs
The conversations themselves are pleasant but it's kinda weird to constantly get compliments like "I wish I dressed as well as you when I was a newbie" when I'm not a newbie. I've been wearing lolita for seven years and have been in the comm for two. I've only been to one meetup where someone remembered my name and that's only because she was the host and had a checklist. I don't know what's wrong with me...

>>9454718
Sorry I made you upset anon :^(

>>9446601
My lolita friend has become totally thirsty for e-fame and as a consequence is cringe as heck.
She has friended all these lolitas from our area at large that she hasn't even met because I think she thinks it will improve her social status because they do lolita videos.
I am a little butt hurt to be honest because in her quest to become "an internet personality", she has stopped tagging me in her lolita posts on fb in preference of her new 'friends'. even when I share something and tag her in it she will straight up just tag the others in the post and talk with them in the comments section. To top it off.
>she has never really been to a meetup in the area of her new 'friends'.
>Doesn't even have lolita clothes that aren't hand me downs from me.
>feels obligated to my wardrobe when she wants to do something and just openly assumes I will lend her stuff.
>has a patreon...
I wouldn't post her to cgl, but if she did happen to become a lolcow in the future I would have a sensible chuckle.

>>9454724
> :^(

3 edgy 5 me.

>>9447680
This! Money. You must have money and spend it. E famous lolita are mostly boring and unattractive. But they spend the most. I'm not going to such and such and I dont have a rolex. But I would like to see pictures of it. Thats where they come in. Once they have no more money you dont see them again.

>>9454722
NAYRT but this happens to me constantly. "Oh, I didn't recognize you, must be wigs!". I have literally never worn a wig. Just admit you forgot my name and possibly my face. It's fine. God knows I barely remember yours.

>>9454709

Sorry, I guess that's a little too much of a hick turn of phrase. It means "super fast" because mayonnaise is greasy and a greased up missile would go even faster? Everybody in my family uses it.

But yeah like I try to engage people and talk about their print or their accessories and introduce myself but I get halfway through saying "Hi I'm anon" or "What brand is that? It's super pretty!" before they're out the door and down the street, so to speak.

>>9454722

Don't worry Mothman-chan, someday someone will have proof that we cryptids exist.

>>9453649
>live in a major city in Western Europe
>only ever wear classic, lots of people dress vintage here
>used to have an Eastern European friend who constantly said shit like this
>"Anon, you look nice but you should wear a coat until you get to the meetup, people will try to rape you if you dress like that."
>"Anon, it's getting late, is it okay to wear that?" (at 10pm)
>"Oh anon, you should be careful going out like that! You look so cute guys will definitely want to rape you!"
>I guess those seemed to come from a place of genuine concern
>"You look super rapeable in that skirt."
>"With the petticoat it looks easy to pull up your skirt and fuck you."
>couldn't understand why that wasn't a compliment

>>9455048
Do you guys have any online presence? Do you friend people you know from meets? Maybe exchange instagram or tumblr handles with people at meets, or post to CoF mentioning where the meet was? When meets are once a month and there's 30 people it's hard to remember anybody, so I admit I usually only remember the organizers and people who I see post online between meets.

>>9455077

Friending people would imply that they stick around long enough to have that suggestion pop up in conversation. I friend everyone that sticks around long enough to actually talk, that's why I even have people to talk to in the first place. Meeting new people when those friends can't or don't come to the meet is another thing entirely.

>>9450181
I'm a popular lolita and I agree with a lot of what you said. I'm friends with other popular lolitas for symbiotic reasons in that we are purposefully a clique so that we are always one of the best dressed people, the ones who get the highly sought after pieces, and the ones people recognize.

There is a lot of shit talking and you best believe that most popular lolitas are not nice at all behind closed doors.

And something to say about Kate: she is famehungry. I have never met her but she sent me a friend request a couple of times on Facebook. The only reason I can think of as to why she would have wanted to be friends is because of my popularity. We never met and we never interacted online.

>>9455046
What about in a situation where you're sitting down at a table and they're trapped sitting next to you, are you able to have conversations that way?

Do you have an online presence, like instagram or facebook to add comm members? I definitely remember people better if I follow their social media and see their posts. That way I can associate people to a certain style, I have a hard time with names and faces especially in a social setting like meetups.

I have a hard time connecting with people too, so only in the last year have I gotten to the point where people ask me to hang out outside of meet, and I've been in the comm for five years. But following up with people after facebook seems to work, if it's just sending a friend request or a message if you do have a good conversation with someone like, "hey, I really enjoyed talking to you at the meet, hope to see you next time" or something

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R4ozw6z2QG4

>>9455070

Dublin?

>>9456694
>I'm friends with other popular lolitas for symbiotic reasons in that we are purposefully a clique so that we are always one of the best dressed people, the ones who get the highly sought after pieces, and the ones people recognize.

So would you say that you're actually friends, or you're just acquaintances that mutually benefit each other?

>>9456864
Nope.

>>9451905
I have more likes and followers than Kate or hello batty but people never gave me efame status. Why is that?!

>>9456946
I don't know why that is, but count your blessings. Efame is seriously one of the worst things that can happen to you in this subculture; everyone will look for reasons to hate you. Anyone who has two brain cells to rub together will keep their head low.

>>9456946
probably because nobody's found reason to pick drama with you yet

>>9452324
It was the
> One girl I know even had people combing through her liked videos on YT just to make fun of her taste.
which could refer to jill/pixielocks as kate browses her thread on lolcow and was stupid enough to post a picture showing such. she still selfposts here and the
>I'm one of the more popular lolitas, probably in the top 10 most recognizable to the board.
sounds like shit she'd say

>>9453109
>>9453537
she's nice in person. don't get why she's so fame-hungry on the internet.

>>9456946
Hard to say without knowing who you are. I'd agree with >>9456963 and >>9457114 that you are better off that way. Clearly a lot of people follow and admire you, and you are efamous, but you haven't stepped into any shit yet so enjoy it until some crazy bitch starts a vendetta against you.

>>9450193
That explains why Claire looks so paranoid whenever people glance her way at cons

>>9458284
I was referring to Jillian, but I'm still not Kate.

And yes, I'm most likely one of the top most recognized Lolitas on the board. Sorry if stating facts sounds like bragging, but I know how often I'm posted about on here and I have some of the highest followers.

>>9458508
ok whatever you say kate

I'm not really e-famous, but I've seen myself talked about on cgl sometimes, and I'm friends with a lot of very popular lolitas.

I like my small degree of recognition, since I'm shy, and it gets some people to come up to talk to me. I'm too awkward to go up to anyone on my own.

Most of the e-famous lolitas I know are really nice people, anon! There's some shitty fame-hungry ones, but the majority I know have been really sweet people.

>>9458459
That might be it. I don't really blog much personal opinions.

>>9446606
Not true. I've never heard anything negative about Connie/Door-chan. I don't think there is any dirt on her, she seems to be a saint.

>>9459232
I went to the same uni as her, can confirm that she's nice and looks just as lovely IRL. I used to see her around my college every now and then when I was a fresher, I think she went to the Anime and Manga society. She was mostly just really quiet and was nice but reserved the one time I talked to her.

>>9459049
Spill the tea, famous-chan. Who are the shitty ones and who are the nice ones?

>>9459232
It's very true.

>>9459232
Didn't she used to self post here and was involved with thinspo stuff years back? Or am I confusing her with someone else?

>>9459232
not having a personality /= being a saint

>>9459027
Now you're just being obnoxious

>>9459450
I haven't heard that about Door-chan, but if it's true, that's pretty bad...

I guess the question is, do you want to be a popular lolita for the friends or just to be e-famous? If you want to be e-famous and don't care if it's positive or negative, all you have to do is start a lot of drama. That's easy. But if you want to be friends with famous lolitas, you have to put yourself out there and actually interact with them.

But please have a bit of perspective. Popular lolitas mostly aren't that famous in the grand scheme of things. At a meetup, they'll probably be very happy to talk to you. Instead of gushing or just complimenting them and falling into an awkward silence, compliment and ask a question, eg. "I love your bag, where is it from?" or "Oh my god, you're wearing Iron Gate!? It's so hard to find nowadays, how did you manage to get it?" Let them talk a lot, but be an active listener. Ask about things relevant to the conversation, things they're interested in, or about things in your surroundings.

Also, don't just zoom in on your lolita idol. It's really awkward if you hover in silence next to them while they talk to other people. Think of a meetup as a chance to meet new friends in general, not just to meet your idol, so talk to the other lolitas there too. Make small talk, or start a group discussion about something you all have in common, like dream dresses, or favorite brands, or weirdest reactions people have had to your outfits. After a little while you can move on to things like other hobbies. One thing I've found is, if I share a personal detail or an anecdote, other people will chime in with their own. Like, if you were to say, "I kinda based my outfit off Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz. I like making outfits inspired by my favourite characters from things. Do any of you do that too?" Other people would probably say, "I do that too sometimes! Last meetup, my outfit was based on...," or "I like looking at old GLB issues for inspiration."

TL;DR - Don't be an ass and talk to your lolita idol like she's a normal person.

>>9462659
>r start a group discussion about something you all have in common, like dream dresses, or favorite brands, or weirdest reactions people have had to your outfits
I know this may sound strange, since we're all lolitas when I go out with my comm, but I always feel that no one talks about this kind of thing to not look like a "lolita-freak". Like, we talk about all kind of things in our meetups, but we rarely talk about things like dream dresses, inspirations, favourite brands etc., and I sometimes believe that people do that in order to avoid to be seen as a no-life person that only thinks about lolita all the time.

I know it sucks, and I'd like more friends to talk more about these things without being too paranoid.

>>9453533
I don't think you understand how delusional some efamous lolitas are. They think that any one wearing the same print they wear in a remotely similar style to theirs is trying to copy them. I have a friend that is still stuck in the creepy cute look and thinks any one that pairs black with an other wise sweet print is copying her. She's let the small following she's got on Tumblr and insta go to her head that she's "efamous"

>>9462722
Oh god, this so hard. It isn't even just "efamous" people. I have a friend into the most basic fucking fandoms (Harry Potter, Disney, Game of Thrones) and she thinks anyone she knows who also lives these things is copying her. Like yeah, I went so far as to go back in time to alter my childhood so that I can like the same things as you. She also once accused me of copying her because I was getting a tattoo on my wrist and she wanted her first tattoo there (we weren't even getting a remotely similar tattoo, she literally thought the placement alone was copying her) then, get ready for this... a couple years later she gets the exact same tattoo I did in the same place. Of course she makes a big deal that she's wanted it since the dawn of time and I have nothing to do with it... right...

I don't want to be e-famous at all, I've only 1000ish instagram followers and a good amount of interaction with them. I couldn't ask for more. But I'm friends with an e-infamous lolita. She's so sweet and kind but the backlash I get just from knowing her online is becoming too much. I get posted in ita threads, rude messages on tumblr and facebook... I don't want to lose a friendship over it but I don't like being ostracized just for who I associate with. People come to me all the time to "inform me" of her supposed wrong-doings (reaching for e-fame is cardinal sin), and tell me I'm as bad as her when I don't immediately agree with them.

>Advice anyone? I'm sick of this.

File: 276937-shin1.jpg (20KB, 425x320px) Image search: [Google]

20KB, 425x320px

>>9459470
not as obnoxious as you continuing to post yourself on cgl for years, womp womp

>>9462685
That sounds paranoid, anon, obviously you don't only speak about lolita if it breaks the flow of conversation, but if you're excited about the latest release and want to ask people what they think they want, it's possible they want to talk about it, too

I've wanted (and sadly still do) to be friends with a couple different efamous lolitas, but it had nothing to do with the fame. I've always been a loner, have had only two friends my whole life and neither of them shared my interests. So naturally, when I got into lolita 8 or so years ago, I was drawn to these girls because they were active, not because they were famous, they seemed friendly, and had a bunch of things in common with me. At one time I tried to make some contact with them but I realized they aren't interested in making new friends, especially considering they probably get harassed a bit to be friends due to their fame.

One of them, who is no longer into lolita, actually gave me a chance to become friends. We chatted a few times and did have some common interests, but they decided they wern't interested in me and they haven't interacted with me since. This was a while ago, but I still feel convinced that I did something wrong. I really regret not being able to become friends with her.

>>9447822
This, basically.

>>9464900
People who seem desperate to get friendly or romantic relationships always seem to put people off. It's completely understandable you want more lolita friends, but maybe you were a bit too eager? Or you also might have done nothing wrong, and you just didn't click. Don't give up yet, I'm sure there are people out there that you can be great friends with.

>>9447959
That's a weird reaction. Obviously if they put themselves online people are going to see it and recognize them. I would be really happy and ask for their IG to follow back.

>>9465482
I can't help but question if it's because they're looking for excuses to be creeped out. Stalker-chans are part of the efame experience and it's disturbingly common for people who've never dealt with them to subconsciously long for one.

>>9464916
AYRT

I'm really shy and lack experience with making friends because I was "the quiet girl" nobody wanted to be friends with in school, so even though maybe we just didn't click I don't doubt that I did something wrong.

I was worried that maybe I seemed too eager or friendly and it scared them off. The thing I haven't quite fully gotten the hang of is that if you aren't friendly and don't make an effort to reach out to somebody, you have no chance of being friends, but if you do then it scares people and screams desperation.

I'll be honest and say I feel a pang of jealousy when I see popular girls from local comms posting pictures of themselves hanging out together in frills, and that's in part because I don't really have any lolita friends I hang out with outside of the few meets I'm able to attend. But at the same time, I've met several of these more well-known local lolitas on multiple occasions, and I know they aren't really people I'd want to be friends with anyway, either because our personalities clash or they've shown themselves to be dramatic, egotistical, or just plain rude, and once I remind myself of that, I feel a little better. As for being lolita famous myself, no thanks. I'd like to have my coords appreciated, but that's about as far as I'd like to go with recognition.

>>9450296
>great plus size inspo
good one

>>9453513
People don't judge her on her photos, they judge her because she was horrible, decided the whole western comm was full of meanies and poopyheads (no pun intended), and has now crawled back to the attention of people who don't know any better.

>>9447959
Similar question to this, I haven't joined my local comm yet but I've met a couple of girls from there before, and quite a few have youtube channels or are active on social media (they're not overly hard to find). What do I say to them if/when I join the comm without sounding like a creep?

One would think they'd should be kind of happy about some casual recognition, especially if they have a public social media presence and work to upkeep it - but I'm not so sure.

>story time for extra relevance
I did once meet a small youtuber at a concert, she was sort of hanging around doing nothing in my vicinity while I was waiting in line and so I peeped out asked her "Oh excuse me, are you xyz?". She looked at me distastefully and said "You mean zyx? Um yeah haha" (she said her own youtube channel name wrong - first red flag) and I just told her that I didn't know she lived in my city, and I like and watch her videos and its cool to meet her. She responded with some strange wishy washy bullshit, and some "yeah omg this is really weird haha...". By now it was clear she thought I was weird as fuck, and didn't find the encounter pleasant. Mind you, she had explicitly said in multiple of her videos where she lived, and I later found out she had posted about moving and where she was moving to so there wasn't really a reason to assume I was being a creep or weird, in fact I was being pretty laid back because I dont even like her that much. I'm not ugly, fat, a male or creepy looking, nor had I interrupted her since she was standing around doing nothing, so I dont know what the fuck was up with her. But, for a tiny ass youtuber with 6k subs who was attending an event which was highly relevant to the culture of her channel, you'd think she wouldn't be so retarded about an encounter with a subscriber. I unsubbed.

>>9466371
To be fair, I guess that youtuber was just weird and kinda bad with real social interaction. She probably felt like a unsocial jerk afterwards, so I don't think it was your fault at all.

As for meeting people irl that you follo online: Unless it comes up, why do you have to mention it at all? If you are a fan of their content, you could just compliment it and then continue as usual when it comes up in conversation.

>>9466382
Perhaps, but in hindsight her fake youtube personality probably accounts for her obvious lack of enthusiasm for youtube and her fanbase in general.

As for mentioning it, it would kind of make me anxious to pretend I don't know the person or anything about them when in fact I do, if nothing more than to cover my ass for accidentally knowing about something that was in a vlog or instagram post (I have a pretty good memory for useless knowledge). Its kind of like having met someone briefly, and meeting them again and not acknowledging that you have met before.

My comm has a few e-famous lolitas but they are only popular in the sense that people recognize them as being popular online. Other than organizing a few meets they don't mingle at all with the rest of the comm so many of us have never met them. They don't often go to meets they didn't organize themselves. People know who they are but it's all one-sided with no info that isn't from their social media.

The actual popular lolitas are the girls every one knows who are kind and dress well. The girls that actually know your name and interests instead of just your social media name. A few of those are also popular on social media but they aren't trying to be.

>>9454710
>Shit I go to Japan every summer for just under 500

Not that anon but would love to know how you do it & some tips.