so ive been putting some serious thought in to getting into Lolita

Most lolitas will be nice to your face but will secretly think you're a fetishist.

>>9445660
well that fucking sucks, is there anyway around it?

>>9445664
Don't be a fucking creep and stay away from Lolita.

>a thread died for this

>>9445671
mint, thanks for advice mate

>>9445657
>is there a large culture of lads in Lolita
You will find some here and there, but they're a minority within the lolita scene. Lots of comms have had bad experience with brolitas, or rather those that claimed to be interested in the fashion, and therefore will be super careful with accepting them. If you show that your interest is genuine and know your basic, then it should be fine. Learn how to dress well, learn the basics of the culture and especially learn how to use make-up properly. This is the absolute dealbreaker and will influence how you are looked on by alot.

If you need more specific help, feel free to come by here >>>9385470.

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>>9445657
>>9445672
You're Australian? If you're a bloke why not try the male version - Ouji or Aristocrat? But if you want to cross-dress stay the f u c k away from the Ozlolitas

>>9445685
close mate, kiwi
thanks for the heads up, dunno feel like my body type wouldn't fit ouji or aristocrat well

>>9445657
>i don't even know where to start looking
Here's a hint; don't try to join a comm or anything until you have done your basic research (and actually have the beginnings of a wardrobe.). Nobody wants to hold the newbies hand through shit which can be googled in five minutes or found on cgl with a little bit of lurking.

If you're really so passionless you will not do it on your own you should find a different hobby.

>>9445657
These are all men >>9434161, some of them are designers too

>>9445687
Ouji /Aristocrat are mainly worn by women, although things do come in guy sizing as well. If you feel that they won't suit you, you have even less chance with Lolita. What's your body type?

You have to pretend you're gay. Gay men aren't seen as potential rape threat holders, and aren't associated with sissies. This is why gay men are usually allowed into women dominated friend groups, for example. It is also a good idea if you delete all of your publicly accessible profiles that may indicate you're a fetishist or straight.

Aside from this, I would suggest not wearing sweet lolita, and sticking to Goth or Aristocrat, sweet is associated with age regressors and sissies. Going into it with a large knowledge of the subject is a good idea as well, since most lolitas associate lack of expertise with fetishism. Perfected makeup skills are also necessary.

I would also suggest you have practiced answers to very simple yet tricky questions, "why do you like lolita" is a good one. It has to be vaguely enthusiastic, while simultaneously having content (don't say "because it makes me feel pretty" or "i like the dresses") and not seeming scripted. Your personality has to ideally seem extroverted, they will relate introversion with secrets, and secrets in this context can only mean one thing.

If you find acting like a gay man to be too taxating or hard, you have to then be willing to act in a masculine way. This will make them feel that beyond your costume they are actually interacting with a regular dude. I know that your fetish doesn't enjoy the potential separation from the society that this will have as a consequence, but it's a sacrifice to make. If you can talk about video games with a tomboy, or perhaps another dude atendee, that will steer eyeballs away from you and normalize you. In many social situations laughter is a very powerful way to crash awkwardness and suspicion, perhaps a joke ridiculing the strangeness of being a dude in women's clothing will make you seem like you didn't really expect to be in such a situation and it's something born out of your spontaneuity and not it's not premeditated to get your rocks off.

Susan xxxxx

Cross dressing in lolita is normal and has been a thing since the 90s

>>9445784
This is a massive overreaction. Is this bait, is your comm just full of closed-minded cunts or are you one of those people who's only active online and doesn't know what it's actually like to be active in a comm?

>>9445789
Cross-dressing is never normal, hence the name.

>>9445790
This is Lolita. The whole thing isn't normal but within Lolita subculture, crossdressing is normal.

>>9445784
Is this copypasta? There are some good tips here but also too many assumptions about how female lolitas will react to you. It depends on the comm.

>>9445792
Then we wouldn't refer to guys who do it as brolitas and it wouldn't be thought of as cross-dressing.

>>9445806
In my country we don't have a word for brolita and we treat it the same as girls wearing ouji

>>9445687
If you're too masculine for ouji and aristocrat you're definitely too masculine for lolita.

>>9445784
Most sissies my comm has had to deal with were gay. That didn't make them any less disgusting.

>>9445784
wut even?

Straigh male lolita here and I think this whole post is bait but no just no.

Creepy people are creepy no matter what sexuality they have. I'm straight and have a girlfriend and it's obvious I'm not interested in any of the girls in my community plus I just wear the clothes because I like them and no weird fetish reason so therefore I'm just as accepted as any other of the girls.

I wish men would get out of that fashion.
It doesn't look good on them or rarely. And most of them are creeps.

>>9446416
This. Lolita is a fashion FOR WOMEN. It is the girliest of girly. Men need to find their own thing. This one is for us.

>>9446416
>>9446466
If only brands would stop doing collabs with males

Not got any comments on brolitas, but dude, do you always use so much regional slang? It literally reads like Ron Weasley's voice in bad Harry Potter fanfiction, to the point where I'm questioning whether you're actually from NZ since it seems like something you're faking to distract from your real identity.

>>9446485
I'm a UK born kiwi, grew up in Palmerston North and have since moved up north

>>9446487
I'm from the UK and I've learnt to turn off my dialect when posting on 4chan. Plenty of people on here feign other country's spellings and slang to try to make themselves less identifiable, so that's the first thing that sprang to mind.

On topic - pretty much as others have said above, stop being lazy and do your own research on the fashion. Most comms are very tumblr in person so people will be polite to your face, but most lolitas are suspicious of guys since so many creeps try to join. If you dress well, behave well and know the fashion most people will accept you, although some people will resent you regardless. If you don't pass a lot of people will secretly hate it when you attend meets because having an obvious crossdresser in the group makes reactions from the general public worse.

>>9446492
Thanks For the tip about dialect, in all honesty I think I'll stear clear and delete the thread when I get home
think I made a mistake in this one

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>>9446500
People on cgl are just overly negative about male lolitas and these threads are attractive to trolls. I've been in my comm for 2 years and I've never seen a sissy or heard of one trying to join, there are only two active guys in my comm,they both wear Lolita and nobody treats them differently. Shirred moitie OPs like pic related are good because you don't really need boobs.

>>9446513
I'm UK anon and I've been in comms for 4 years, we've had creeps try to get into the group but since they usually have fetish content on their public profile the mods just reject their join request. If you've never discussed it with a comm mod you might not realise how frequently the average comm gets requests from guys whose FB pages openly have sissy content. Across multiple comms, I only know of one genuine brolita, plus a couple of poorly-dressed guys people pray won't turn up to meets because they're weird and lack social skills. To be fair to the brolitas, most of the obvious creeps I've encountered were "photographers" rather than sissies.

>>9446530
Fucked up how people would even put there kink stuff on a social profile

>>9446816
Yup, it's a pretty good sign that they're unhinged and have no sense of social norms to begin with, so I don't really feel prejudiced banning those people on sight, even if they claim a genuine interest in the fashion. The vitriol against ageplayers and sissies in the lolita community is a backlash against people who talk about their sex life in public and give the rest of us a bad name; it's not an issue for normal, socially-adjusted human beings who keep their kinks between them and their sexual partners (and maybe fetlife or something).

>>9445657

Join! If you wanna wear lolita, wear lolita. Who gives a fuck what other people think?

>>9446841
me mostly lmao
reading this made me relies a few things and most of all i would most likely be grossly out of place and be treated as a leaper so why bother

>>9446848
I don't know what to tell you, man. I kind of feel bad for you, but I think it's better to get an honest reply than a Tumblr canned "Anyone can wear lolita! uwu" response. A lot of the salt on cgl is confined to 4chan (I've never met anyone IRL that would openly shit-talk fat girls, for instance), but the issue people have with guys in lolita usually carries over to real-life, even if people will only admit it in private conversations. Pretty much all lolitas are fine with visual kei icons like Mana and the handful of well-dressed brolitas that post online, but I'd say at least half of them are uncomfortable actually having brolitas around at meets unless they pass, no matter how well they dress. The more attractive you are, the more accepted you'll be (although that goes for girls as well). If you're prepared to handle that, get into lolita; if you're not, it's understandable. You can be a lolita without joining a comm, but it's a struggle to think of places where a lone brolita who can't pass could go in public without being harassed (bear in mind that cis female lolitas are constantly harassed when they go out as well, so for a male it'll only be magnified), other than goth clubs or something.

Honestly though the biggest factor in being a leper is your age and social skills. If you're a reasonably attractive 20something with decent social skills you should be able to make friends; if you're a 40something it's honestly weird for you to want to get involved in social events with guys half your age in the first place.

>>9446868
*with girls half your age, typo

>>9446513
>tfw every other brolita who joined my comm turned out to be a creepy fetishist
We have good brolitas too but when a new guy joins it's 50/50. Why would one comm attract so many creeps while others don't have this problem? Shit sucks.

>>9446868
im 20 years old and well adjusted probably a strong 6/10 on a good day lmao and im happy i got honesty than a lie and look like a fuck head

>>9446885
would u say u can pass though?

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>>9447051
no idea aye im short and skinny but i have a square jaw so im not sure
here's a shit photo with my face blured bc im insecure

>>9447063
You seem like a good guy, anon, and I'm usually not a big fan of men in lolita. May I ask what drew you to the fashion in the first place?

>>9447065
im not entirely sure in all honesty, it just looks so amazing and ive seen a few girls at cons and it allways looks so cool, and its a very deep thing like lots of cultural layers.
i like stuff like that with lots of stuff to learn about. im into 'normal' fashion as well and i like the constant evolution of it all and from the little bits of read so far about lolita you can follow its small stylistic changes along, i just think its really cool and eye catching

Not OP, I have no interest in dressing up in lolita myself, but i guess the look interests me and it might be nice to hang out with some but i guess most coms are very much girlie-girlie communities who want their own space, which is fair enough.

But it would be nice to meet more weirdo weebs

>>9447073
>weirdo weebs
Those are generally the worst types of people in lolita comms, actually, the kind you'd want to avoid. Many lolitas don't associate themselves with weeaboos or consider themselves otakus, plenty of us aren't even into anime, we just like the fashion.

>>9447075
weebs with no self awareness are always best avoided

>>9447075
Aha.. sorry, i frame things in a depreciating way too often. I really just mean people who like anime and such. Like >>9447081 said, someone with a little self awareness.

>>9447086
Not to say you won't ever find anyone who loves anime in lolita comms but if you're not into the fashion yourself you're better off finding people with similar interests somewhere else.

I'm a guy (5'9") who has been into lolita for a while. It really comes down whether you can pass or not. As long as you're not creepy your comm should treat you fine.

Protips: prefer JSKs with adjustable straps, shirring in the back is always good, always check sleeve size for blouses, prefer longer dresses, avoid OPs until you know what you're doing, get at least 2 petticoats of good quality and double up, get socks from Innocent World but avoid their clothes unless you're incredibly short and skinny.

I also avoid pink and juvenile themes (nursery etc) because of the sissy/ageplay connotations. Also, if you mention/lie that you have a girlfriend your comm will be less suspicious of you.

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>>9447195
>recommends longer dresses
>"avoid Innocent World"

>>9446881
Maybe it's because some comm's don't have Lolita in their name

>>9447203
Nayrt but it's probably because of their sizing, their shirring isn't very forgiving which can be a problem for wider torsos. That said plenty of their pieces are available in size L and their long dresses also feature longer bodices, so you're definitely right in pointing that out as a mistake.

>>9447203
>>9447256
You're right, IW is a great brand but I think their sizing is difficult for new brolitas (even L size) and that's why I wouldn't recommend getting it for your first piece. I should have written that more clearly. I think you should aim for something more forgiving when you are a beginner.

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Learning about makeup is really important if you want to pass but don't go overboard with it or it'll look like you're trying drag, tough if you wear gothic lolita you can get away with a lot. There have been a lot of makeup tutorials in Gothic&lolita Bible. And invest in a wig that looks like normal, natural hair. Or grow out your hair and get a hime cut.

>>9446868
>lolitas are fine with visual kei icons like Mana
Coincidentally the best male lolitas I know are also visual kei fans

>>9447263
Men in lolita tend to look best in vkei and gothic, and worst in sweet.

>>9447317
They also give less of a fetish vibe.

>>9447325
That goes for normal lolitas too.

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>>9447063
Short and skinny is a great start, it means that even if your jaw doesn't pass, you're not going to be obvious as a dude from fifty paces, avoiding a lot of the issues with normies.

Cons are also a great place to debut as a brolita, there are always a lot of guys crossplaying so it doesn't seem out of place.

>>9447072
Your reasons for liking lolita sound similar to mine. Lolita definitely has a lot of detail and releases and history to get autistically obsessed about if that's your thing.

>>9447195
>I also avoid pink and juvenile themes (nursery etc) because of the sissy/ageplay connotations. Also, if you mention/lie that you have a girlfriend your comm will be less suspicious of you.
this is true, but if they find out you're lying it looks really suspicious. Better to just not bring it up than to lie outright, if you're single but have had girlfriends before you could mention them in a casual way (not in a "my crazy ex!" sort of way, just like "Oh, your mom's doing the city marathon? My last girlfriend did that last year!" or something like that).

>>9447195
>avoid OPs until you know what you're doing
Definitely true for AP's underbust OP cuts but overall I think the silhouette of long-sleeved OPs that hit at the natural waist from other brands is much less juvenile than a JSK and blouse, which end up looking like a kid's pinafore uniform. Definitely avoid OPs peter pan collars or cuts like pic related as a though or you'll end up looking like Grayson Perry.

>>9447372
>Cons are also a great place to debut as a brolita
cons are for costumes

>>9447382
Plenty of lolitas go to cons because plenty of cons have events and stalls marketed at j-culture, including lolita brand tea parties.

>>9447372
thank you very much, you're way too kind for a stranger on the internet

>>9447382
That's why it's acceptable, relatively speaking.

>>9448501
It always sucks for the other attendees when a terribly-dressed brolita shows up at meet, so since you were genuinely interested I thought I'd rather give spoonfeedy answers so you could not be one of those people than let you flail in the dark and end up ostracised after one or two meets for looking horribly ita. I wish you luck and I hope you enjoy researching and going deep into the style.

>>9448501
and if you want another brolita to talk to I'm making a kik group

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>>9447063
OT but I just had to say that goat is so adorable holy shit

>>9448521
Hit me with the name :)

>>9448529
She she's not too bad, called Helga the one under the chair is called Vladimir

My rule of thumb is that if you don't pass then I'm gonna talk shit behind your back and actively try to avoid you.

>>9445660
What happens if you are a fetishist, then?

There's gotta be tons of people into this stuff because they think the fashion makes them look sexy. Why a difference between men and women if they're both in it for the sex appeal?

>>9445657
You're more than welcome to join the Brolita group on Lolita Amino if you wish to talk about coordinating or buying clothes. We're p chill.

>>9449976
>here's gotta be tons of people into this stuff because they think the fashion makes them look sexy. Why a difference between men and women if they're both in it for the sex appeal?
The fact that sissies like you can't even comprehend the fact that most lolitas are not into it for fetish reasons is why you should stay the fuck away from this fashion. There are not "tons of people" into lolita because the fashion makes them look sexy, and the way you've phrased it makes it sound like you're the sort of creep who assumes lolitas are trying to attract men (i.e. you). Go away, you'll be very unwelcome.

>>9445784
Good meme desu.

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>>9446848
> treated as a leaper
?

>>9449993
>the way you've phrased it makes it sound like you're the sort of creep who assumes lolitas are trying to attract men (i.e. you).
Because you are, and you're insecure about it.

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>>9450002

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>>9449998
im just stupid and cant spell

>>9449987
thanks, checking it out now :)

>>9447063
I really do think you should join anon, this isn't supposed to be a tumblr teir "fuk the haters" response, but pretty much no one cares about your junk irl. You will most likely make lots of friends when you work up the courage to join a comm and no one will judge you or freak out if you are a nice guy who is strongly interested in the clothes. If you do decide to take the plunge we regularly have threads here for tips on dressing for guys so be sure to check back for the brolita threads.
Many of the things other anons have mentioned are valid things that some lolitas may feel when an outsider joins a comm, but keep in mind I feel like these are really big over exaggerations. Just like in any other social sphere, there will be barriers to over come on entry, and if you are a genuine person everything will work out fine. Remember, this community idolises Mana the eternal and infallible beauty.
I would happily be your lolita friend from across the lake (ausfag here).

>>9447063
nice goat. come to canada and ill be your friend and welcome you to meets (pls bring goat accessory to meets)

>>9445657
Just try it. Who the fuck cares what a bunch of salty gulls say. Some of it are valid concerns but holy shit.

Do your own research and hard work first, though. Don't go around looking like an ita, because for men it looks 1000x worse.

You don't have to join a comm, either.

>>9457679
you got any contact info you're willing to put out over 4chan lmao, id love to have someone who's in the community as well as someone who is (relatively) close geographically :)

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>>9458980
can you get goat passports

>>9445784
What is this, the MRA's guide on how to infiltrate a lolita community? This is beyond stupid and dishonest.

OP, as long as you are genuinely interested, can dress well, and don't push whatever fetishes you have on the people around you (which is common sense in general), you will be fine. If you have other motives, you will be found out and kicked out before you can learn to pronounce Moi Meme Moitie.

>>9459206
Yeah, I'm actually astounded about how the fetish thing comes up, how out of it do you have to be to publicly broadcasting your fetishism

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>>9459133
or anyone who wants to be friends and possibly help me out and what direction to head in
im looking at this jsk atm but struggling to find a blouse to go with it, i'm trying to avoid bows there if i can as to not bring attention up towards my chin and out towards my shoulders

>>9462485
These sorts of blouses best suit blouses with large bows, cravats, or jabots, as a whole. However, IW do sell dresses with bib fronts that are decorated with ruffles and lace sometimes. You want something like that with a high neck. Even if it means buying something that somes with a bow or jabot of some sort, you can always wear it without. You need some details to fill the chest area a bit.

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>>9446466

>>9462675
Lmao in all honesty I kinda get where she's coming from as from what a see here is there is a lot of gross dudes trying to leverage into a very niche subculture of women