Local lolita comm thread

I haven't been active in my community for a while and I really want to start going to meets again, but the only meet that's coming up is a Harry Potter meet and I've never seen or read any of it. It's not just an outfit theme either, they're visiting the Harry Potter expo. I'm debating whether I should go anyway and feel out of place or wait (possibly for a long time) until a less themed meet comes up.

Before you suggest hosting a meet, I'm a complete nobody in my comm so I'm fairly certain no one would attend anyway.

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Gulls how should i tell this unstable girl who considers me her "friend" in my comm to leave me alone?

She's really mentally unstable (attempted suicide several times,changes bf every month or so, openly talk about her sex life which makes me feel uneasy especially since she is into ddlg which grosses me out) and I just don't want anything to do with her anymore.
I tried to be her friend at first, then she proceeded to make me uncomfortable (asking me out when she still had a boyfriend,saying how she has threesomes super casually), then told me i was one of her best friends despite meeting me twice and talking to me only a tiny bit online, then went apeshit saying i was "so cold" and "egoistical" and a "leech"(??) and how she always had to make the first move/come to me.
Then a few months later she came back, apologized and I told her that we should just "forget about it" and now she's back and think of me as a friend

She's friend with all the popular girls in the comm and I'm affraid she'll talk shit behind my back to them.
I just want to make her understand I'm not comfortable around her but without being mean.

>>9330572
I think that if you let them know you haven't read or seen it, and that you just want to hang out with your comm members you will be fine anon. Is this the Dutch meet btw?
I was thinking of maybe going too.

>>9330572
You will be fine, people didn't really talk that much about Harry Potter at the last themed meet. If you are really insecure about it I recommend to just marathon the movies.

>>9330720
are you me, anon

just drop her. Her talking shit to the popular girls is better than having someone emotionally unstable always being around you.

>>9330720
She sounds like she has borderline. I doubt you are the only person she is doing this to. Try to befriend the popular girls and you might find out that they have the same opinion about her. Just try to befriend as many people as you can, have a bigger number of people in your comm that you are friendly with than she has and then you are safer from one person bullshitting about you.

>>9330751
I'll just say i'm doing a "friend cleaning" in my facebook list and take that as an opportunity to unfriend her and just be done with it. Is that a good plan?
She has something she'll buy from me though so I'll just wait a month then do that.

You're right but I wonder, what if we see each other at meetings and she purposely talk to the only girls i know well and am comfortable opening up to? I'm so nervous about that I'm getting a stomachache since this afternoon, sheesh.

>>9330753
She does have borderline. She even told us. I thought it actually explained quite a bit and since I have anxiety and depression I felt sorry for her. Plus, she paid me some things (expensive blush,phone strap,food,...) during the only times i saw her and then I was feeling like a huge asshole for trying to distance myself from her.

I did talk about her to probably the most popular girl when I saw her to help around with her salepost, and i said "I hope she isn't cheating with her boyfriend though" (her ex ex bf was a really nice dude,he even paid us dinner AND crepes) and this girl said "Honestly i wouldn't be too surprised" so I wonder if these girls really lioke her...

>>9330720
>>9330751
>>9330753
>popular girls
I feel like I'm back at school.

>>9330756
If you don't like her just unfriend her now. No need to pretend. She'll probably be butthurt either way.

>>9330781
That will just make her mad. I recommend you to at least make screenshots of everything. Or find the nicest popular girl and confide to her your troubles with her.

>>9330785
If she's that unstable she's going to be mad either way.

>>9330572
I think I know which meet you're talking about (the Dutch one?), if you're not comfortable going you shouldn't force yourself and feel out of place for the entire day. The beginning of the new year is always a bit slow when it comes to meets but there's bound to be someone pitching an idea sometime. And even though you said you think nobody would attend a meet if you organised one cause your a nobody, it's worth a try anyway. There have been 'nobodies' who have organised meets that were successful (except the attempts made by our local disabled girl)

Is it just my comm or does every other lolita have their own ~indie brand~? It's so common in my comm that when a girl posts a coord they'll list either some random accessory or the main piece (which will be obviously handmade, which isn't a good thing) as Kawaii Desu Hime Ichigochan Productions or whatever, which if you follow the link will turn out to be... them. And their empty Storenvy or Etsy store.
I like seeing people make their own stuff and feel like I ought to be supporting someone trying to start their own business, but the thing is that none of these girls are actually all that good at sewing or crafting. Definitely nowhere near professional. If they have any positive reviews at all, it will be from close friends and family and along the lines of "Oh, [nickname] makes the best stuff ever! Best stuff I've ever seen! You should definitely buy from my baby [nickname]!"
Thanks, grandma.

I've been running in crafty circles for like a decade and while it's not uncommon for people to try to strike out on their own, usually they're at least kinda good at it. Is criticism really such a faux pas in lolita circles that no one would pull any of these girls aside and tell them that they might want to get some more practice in before they start offering commissions? I mean fuck, one of them doesn't even press her seams (ever!) and several others use way too much hot glue when attaching cabochons to, well, everything. One of them uses hot glue with glitter in it so at least there's that.

>>9330802
>Is criticism really such a faux pas in lolita
This isn't a Lolita thing. If they weren't lolita's do you think people would give them more concrit? I wouldn't give criticism to anyone if they didn't ask for it.

>>9330745
>>9330748
Thanks for the encouragement! It is indeed the Dutch meet I'm talking about. I think if I do decide to go I'll at least watch the movies to catch up. I had a vague interest in it anyway but always felt like it was too late to jump the bandwagon.

>>9330800
I'll think about whether to attend the meet or not, but I feel like it'd be super weird to organise a meet when I barely know anyone in the community and came to maybe 3 meets over a year ago. I live kind of out of the way too, so I doubt a meet near where I live would take off. Maybe later down the line though, I'm definitely open to it!

>>9330810
I think it would be really cool if you organised one because we don't have small meets often and I feel like it's always the same organising them

>>9330802
I make stuff and I have a "shop name" that I sell things under, but I don't consider myself an indie brand. It's just something fun I've done on the side to help afford the fashion. I usually sell at conventions and a good con can get me a good amount in profits (to get a nice good haul going) but I don't feel like selling online so my store stays pretty empty with exception to shit like acrylic charms and whatever that I sit on. I just usually send my leftovers to lolita collective and call it a day.

But yeah, i do see a lot of people making the same cabochon, same sculpey, same resin stuff and it does get really tired. Oh god, and please don't hot glue cabochons, especially to rings, they will pop off in a heartbeat. It's not meant to adhere to plastic and metal and be put under stress.

>>9330810
Depends on how out of the way you are of course, but I'd love to attend more smaller meetups. I'm newish and I've been to like 5 in the past year or two but still haven't managed to really connect with anyone because the events are always so busy and everyone's constantly running around.
>people keep asking me "hey were you at X but with a different wig?"
>I don't even own a wig

>>9330820
>>9330825
Well you know, maybe I should. I live in the south so the locations that would be most feasible for me would Maastricht (real out of the way for most people but it's a really cute city with tons of nice places to go) or Eindhoven (city I'm not too familiar with but closer to everyone else hopefully). Would you attend if it was in either of those places? I'll do some research and come up with an idea for what to do if that's the case!

>>9330828
Maastricht is too far away for me personally (though you might find some other southern anons who would be interested!) but Eindhoven is doable, albeit less cute. Though desu I'm not super familiar with the city.

Polite sage because we should probably take this to the Dutch thread.

>>9330833
Just wait until everyone goed REEEEEEEE LOLITAS when we move there :v

But in all seriousness I'd love to do Maastricht meetup one day cause it's a beautiful city, bit far but doable on a weekday (god bless studenten ov)

>>9330833
Another dutchgull pitching in, I think you're right.
Lets take this to the Dutch thread.
Also, hell yeah I would love Brabant meet.

>>9330785
So much this. Make screenshots of every time she's insulted you or been overly attached or talked about her cheating or weird fetishes. Borderlines can be very good at wringing out sympathy and manipulating others. You don't want to be on the receiving end of a gaslighting campaign without evidence to corroborate your side.

>>9330855
Better to discuss it on the fb page, you get more replies and actual plan suggestions.

>>9330768
I mean it's probably not "Mean Girls" levels of popular. Every big group has people that are generally well-liked and/or who organize most of the community.

shitty comm leader made a swap meet event 1.5 weeks before the date of the event. under 10 customers turned up (not including sellers, which was scarce too).
People ended up selling to each other I think.

Oh and one girl sold some poor newbie an ita AF coord.

>>9334448

I don't give a shit if you think Trump is a godsend or would have voted for Jill Stein, you should have voted.

My advice regarding your comm is to either unfriend those bitches or to start vetting your posts on FB. Most FB posts honestly are drivel anyways that should be kept to conversations with your friends.

>>9334448
No man is guilty of the sins of their father.

>>9334448
Report them to your comm mod(s)

>>9334454
^^^ this, what those girls are doing is borderline (if not complete) harassment, you can't be personally held accountable for the actions of your ancestors.

>>9334449
>My advice regarding your comm is to either unfriend those bitches or to start vetting your posts on FB.

I don't post much, but yeah you're right. My lolitas friends were immature and reacted unprofessionally.

>>9334450
Agreed. I'm blessed to be able to spend money on lolita.

>>9334454
Tried that, but the mod(s) emphasize on the importance of PoC in our Comm. They told me to ignore it.

>>9334470
OK but >>9334454 speaking. I am a mod. Yes poc are important. I am one. As a mod it does not matter the color of any party involved if one member goes out if their way to harass another. If it is your personal fb that's one thing. It isn't exactly a common issue. However if it is going on within your common because of conversations you have on your common page or at meets your mids need to put their fucking foot down and tell those girls to fuck off and lay off or they could suffer a temp ban. If it continues they should be perma banned. Simple as that. If they can't step up to the plate their either need to step the fuck down or you should name and shame these girls where they stand and they have no business running a community.

Sorry for flying off the handle a bit. I just got out if work, it's been a tough frill-less week, and I'm getting my Fireball on.

>>9334470
Can you send caps of your messages with these girls, if you haven't already? If it persists, it is technically harassment, and it's pretty shitty if the mods are allowing that to take place.

>>9334448
Tell your mods and or block them. You don't have to be political if you don't want to. Lolita is about clothes not who's politics you agree with. If those lolitas are going to feed into the BLM rhetoric then they are best off removed from your life. I feel you on the PoC community being absolute ass hats to non PoC people. It's counter productive to act the way they are but you can't claim racism because " whites don't know what racism is". Just ignore them. They want something to feel power from. But really they just want to bitch and use their race to give them the privlidge to bitch and be down right nasty to people who are "not us".

Go lone Lolita if you have to.

>>9334473

I'm probably misreading this but by this logic any one who harasses you can stay in the comm because they didn't harrass you on the comm page. Most harassment happens on personal levels not on community levels. Although this isn't something that is apart of Lolita it is something that attacks someone that happen to be in the same comm. mods should know about all types of harassment lolita or not. They may be friends on a personal level but it is again harassment which can't be tolerated. If they can't make an agreement to not talk with one another and be civil about it then it does become tension in the community itself becuase it then turns into passive aggressive remarks towards one another or even secrets and vendettas here.

>>9334473
>>9334488
Thanks. I will be more assertive by sending PMs to those involved and kindly tell them to fuck off. If they don't comprehend, I will elevate the matter with the mod(s).

>>9334476
These were "private" messages. I will not stir up drama.

>>9334481
>Go lone Lolita if you have to.

I prefer to be surrounded by my lolita friends in the Comm rn. I completed a licensing exam two weeks ago and I want to enjoy the fashion again.

>>9334491
You don't need to go lone Lolita but if your whole group of Lolita friends are behaving like that, all it's going to do is put you in a uncomfortable spot and you would be better off being a lone Lolita. Make friends with the lolitas who are not hard core sjw types and enjoy the fashion politics free. Your comm has them. You just got to interact with them.

Is there a current master list of active lolita comms? I thought there was a spreadsheet floating around somewhere but I'm having trouble finding it.

tl;dr I'm in Ontario and some girl from North Dakota messaged me, so I'm trying to help her find a comm that's actually in her area.

>>9334853
Okay somewhat never mind, I found the sheet. But if someone knows of any ND lolitas anyway, let me know lol.

>>9334448
Quit trying to cover your tracks Naturally Racist. What you posted was inappropriate and it sucks you got posted on cgl but making up shit to get white sympathy is pathetic.

>>9335101
Caps?

>>9335102
Looks like she was smart and deleted the post. It was a while ago. Anyone get caps?

>>9335101
EDIT: posted on btb not cgl.

>>9335108
Ok gonna need some deets. What did >>9334448
actually do?

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>>9335108
>>9335102
>>9335176

Here's the first post

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>>9335204
The second post.
>apologized in the comments of the 1rst one
>posts the 2nd one same day.

I feel bad for the people who took the time to try to explain to her what white privilege really means.

>>9335204
So is she upset because people from her comm see that she's a white person, and then privately message her that she's an oppressor without prompting, or just generally butthurt because of internet SJW culture?

>>9335212
I don't see much wrong with this post, honestly. It's just a dumb fb pic asking about people's heritage.

>>9335212

People have taken white privilege and twisted it into some bizarre postmodern form of Catholic original sin. I can see why she's frustrated if comm members act like sheltered college kids about this concept.

>>9334853
>>9334871

I live in ND, but as far as I know, there's no comm. There was talk of starting one up a while ago - I'm not sure how far that went.

Could we perhaps connect through you? I'm always looking for more friends especially in this area!

>>9335204
>>9335212
Is that it? Not snark, I am genuinely curious. Because I see nothing wrong with her first post IF and only IF she was actually getting harassed as she stated. Gonna need more caps. Second post is a bit ignorant but nothing to grab the pitchforks over.

Tbh everyone is fucking racist. It just depends on whether you actually act racist or not. If you are minding your own fucking business and a poc comes at you saying you are racist and have white privileged out of nowhere, that is not ok. Or Who the fuck gave them the right to start crap with you? Or if you are scrolling through your fb feed and you see a mutual post how white people are terrible. Yeah, many white people are, but writing generalizing posts on facebook is really inappropriate and is just hate mongering.

Everyone KNOWS white people are privileged to an extent, however shouting at individuals about it is not appropriate unless they are actually acting that way. So unless she posted something that was actually racist (gonna need more deets or caps on that), she did nothing wrong.

tl;dr need more context

>>9335224
Aaah thanks so much! I'm going to leave a throw-away e-mail up here. I'll ask her if she'd like to be connected.

>>9335415
Aaaaand it didn't show up because herp derp. Let's try that again.

I'm a lone Lolita who's been building up a wardrobe for about a year. I live in the Bay Area and I was thinking of joining the comm. looks like the next meet I can make is the swap meet. Would that be a weird first meet to attend? Should I wait for another?

>>9335418
>[email protected]

Replied!

I have a drama related question and could really use some insight.

I went to my first meetup in the new state I live in about two months ago. I only knew one lolita friend in this area who I was friends with prior to moving. (I've known her for about 5 years casually, she moved to the same state before me and we kind of reconnected through lolita.) At this meet I made friends with a couple of lolitas but only one in particular seemed to hit it off pretty well with me. We hung out the day after the meet because we were both free and then again about a month ago, talking online in-between.

I am so confused. She is friends with everyone in the comm including a lot of popular lolitas. She hangs out with many of them outside of meets and interact with them plus many famous online lolitas on instagram. However while we were hanging out today, she kept making really snarky comments when we talked lolita. Things like "soandso can only afford to buy used dresses and socks" or "yeah she always looks tacky" or "her face is way too old for sweet" or "she totally copied my ___." These are people who are either friends of friends or popular lolitas she sucks up to.

I was so surprised by this, I didn't know what to say so I quickly changed the subject whenever it happened. She also proved to be a bit of a sjw but I won't get into why unless asked. So in the end I started distancing myself and stopped being super available to talk to her.

I am still friends with some mutuals, some of whom she talked about. Also the lolita I have known for 5ish years is suddenly giving me the cold shoulder but is still interacting with the girl a lot. It makes me really sad since she badmouthed her too. I should mention the 5ish year friend has also become fairly popular online.

What should I do? What CAN I do?

>>9335491
>hanging out today
Sorry, I meant the last time we hung out, not today. I'm tired.

I'm interested in joining a comm, but I don't know how to social network. Is it as easy as typing in [cityname] Lolita in Facebook? How did the rest of you become part of a comm offline?

>>9335491
Firstly, this set off a red flag for me:

>Also the lolita I have known for 5ish years is suddenly giving me the cold shoulder but is still interacting with the girl a lot.

Perhaps the girl badmouthing everyone has also been badmouthing you to your old friend?

Secondly, be polite, be civil and GTFO of that friendship as fast as your teaparties can handle. Run, anon, run.

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>Males who like lolita
Why do these freaks exist and why is everyone so welcoming towards them? Why is it that males are so hostile towards females in male dominated hobbies while women are so welcoming of them within our own hobbies and call them thing like "brolitas"? Fucking fuck that shit I don't want to tolerate these nasty sissy pervs in my fashion.

>>9335528
I agree

>>9335503
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1evXegSoFbfEXn8o0joeA-KFvolNKPKllgvaYqNgvOiw/htmlview#gid=1

Has different names and comms for different cities/regions around the world.

>>9335204
>>9335212
I agree that NC is annoying and should stfu but none of this is bad enough for ~PoC~ (seriously, that fucking term) to harass her over. Looks like they found an acceptable target and are now bullying her to feel better about themselves.

>>9335478
>anon puts email in name field
>anon2 quotes it in the post

there's a reason people don't put the email in the body of the post bro

>>9335528
>Why is it that males are so hostile towards females in male dominated hobbies while women are so welcoming of them within our own hobbies
why is that sweeping generalizations always make you sound illogically butthurt?

>>9335503
Ya, theyre easy to find on facebook

>>9335491
If that girl is so quick to talk shit about all of her friends to you, it's pretty likely she talked shit about you to her friends as well. Maybe she realised you cut her off and is now taking revenge by trying to cut you off from the comm entirely.
Could you maybe contact the girl you've known for years and frankly ask her what's up? I knew a girl like that who gossiped and made up awful lies about everyone behind their backs, trying to turn them against each other because I guess she was just a miserable cunt and wanted everyone else to be as well. The only thing that helped was talking to the others without her present and basically just asking "Has she told you something awful about me? Because she's told me awful things about you/everyone else and I know those can't be entirely true." Eventually we managed to track every lie and nasty rumour back to its source, which of course was her. It took a lot of work, though.

>>9335240
what? I thought 4chan was the place for pitchforks...darn it

>>9335528
word

Can anyone confirm the accuracy of the comm Google doc, and that there's no lolita community in Montana?
I also looked on facebook and found a sad attempt at one, and Google gave me me the other kind of lolita...

>>9335204
Theres absolutely nothing wrong with this post. Stop harrassing her just because shes white and actually dares to not feel bad about it.

>>9335667
Please list at least one male dominated hobby that isnt hostile to women.

>>9335979
It might just be my experience but table top gaming have been really welcoming of women interested in playing. Larping, and football too.

>>9330810
Watching one or two movies to catch up would be cool, to be honest I'd be excited to meet someone just getting into the series because they'd get to experience everything fresh and it'd be interesting to discuss how they saw the series after watching as an adult, since most of us just read/watched it as kids.

>>9335454
People usually buy/sell at swap meets as well, it can be a good meet to go to when you're new because people tend to bring small accessories and things they can't be bothered listing for sale on LM.

>>9335998
It's just your experience.

>>9336009
I understand what the activity will be (I have a few items I'd love to sell myself), I'm more asking, especially of someone in the comm, if this meet is likely to be welcoming to newcomers or if its likely to dissolve into friends hanging out in their own cliques.

>>9336103
I'm not from that comm, but from another large comm. In my experience some people might group off and get food, but you can also make a post on the meetup page asking if anybody would be up for food/tea at X place after the swap meet. Usually there's at least a couple of takers, or you would get invited to go with another group.

>>9335998
...Definitely just your experience. When I tried to join my local /tg/ circle at uni they told me to play with my shirt off or gtfo.

>>9335528
I'm kind of inclined to agree. Except for a few, most men into this hobby can't be trusted imo. I hate the super bratty, catty ones and pervy/secret agenda ones the most, they are poison.

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>>9335998
>pic related

>>9336227
Generally curious as to why you feel most can't be trusted?

>>9336236
>there are two comic shops in town I know of that have tables open for players
>I go to them every now and then and sit in on a few games
>They always invite me to join in, sometimes I do, sometimes I decline and just watch.

When it comes to football, the fans have been female and male and never see them bicker at each other because of gender but rather what team they like. If you happen to like they team they like, they love the fuck out of you.

Maybe this town is just cool like that.

>>9335979
Competitive shooting surprisingly enough.

>>9336238
Because most men can't be trusted. Period. And in hobbies aimed at women, especially one like lolita, they typically use it as an opportunity to be catty/gossipy/bitchy/popular (mostly gay ones) or to get with women.

>>9336364
Please do inform me of the "catty,gossipy male lolitas"

>>9330566
My comm was pretty popular past years, they were like 60 members, super well dressed girls and boys, cheerful and modest people.
Now they are like 30 members, 5 of them properly well dressed, 5 replica girls, another 10 new members that are ok ( I mean they are starting the fashion so is ok if they not have the greatest coords), and another 10 trying to modify there cheap cosplay to something "Lolita".
I feel so out of place, I would like to work on my community to make things like old times. I not refereing the well dressed girls, I mean people who really admire the fashion, and want to approve. Organizing DIY meets, meeting lolita from near states. idk.
Can anybody can give me some tips?? To make this comm united again.

>>9336364
Sorry you got cucked by some fag, maybe try being less ugly and terrible at lolita next time?

>>9335998
Depends what larp. The one I tried was focused around sword fighting/ medieval stuff and the guys were very douchey

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>>9336238
>Stefonknee
>Sissy
>abandoned wife and six children to live a fetish ageplay life style where he pretend to be six year old girl
>made threats against his old family, causing them to seek a restraining order against him
>made violent/sexual remarks against a feminist blogger for writing an article about him harassing his family

>Brolitajenny
>attends meets in clothes he stole from his mom
>creeps on underaged girls at the meets he attends and tries to talk about sex with people who clearly don't want to hear it
>Openly admits to having a crossdressing fetish and once posted in his blog that his mom walked in on him masturbating in her clothes
>Posts videos of himself with a fan blowing up his skirt and talks about how arousing it is and lifts his dress to show his boner

There were also some other sissy's that generated some massive drama that I can't remember the names of.

Honestly, every brolita to come into light has been a massive lolcow. The gay ones are always attention whores looking for female attention and the straight ones are creeps.

>>9335491
>also proved to be a bit of a sjw but I won't get into why unless asked
Go on

>>9336381
I've met a lot since my comm is a diverse west coast comm and all but 2 have been exactly that or the latter.

>>9336408
>cucked
Do you even know what that means?
And don't worry, the only competition you will ever have are sissies, not actual lolitas. We just find you obnoxious.

>>9331451
that sounds like a disaster, more deets?

>>9336381
If you've ever been on RC Uncensored you've seen at least one extremely catty, gossipy brolita.

>>9335204
If they're not racist, then they shouldn't have to make a statement about it. The fact of the matter is, for every decent, not-racist, sensitive, and empathetic white person, there are like 2 very public stories about white people being dicks and like 5 historical examples of white people being dicks, so regardless of how many white people are actually nice and not-shitty, the perception is always going to be that white people are racist and shitty, not to mention the fact that the impact of one shitty white person on a non-white person will be a million times more memorable than the hundred nice things that white people do.

When they phrase it like that, they sound whiny and unaware of what white people do on a regular basis, and almost imply that PoC aren't equally sick of being treated like shit by white people. There's technically nothing wrong with the message. It's just a little tone deaf and sounds like White Girl's First Attempt At Being Woke.

>>9336760
Well then I think I my comm lucked out with ours then.

>>9336779
Sorry to be a newfag, but what is "RC Uncensored"?

>>9336783
It's a facebook group, look it up if you're that curious.

>>9335454
Sort of. It's a really well-attended event and people tend to stick to their groups and friends, but at the same time, everyone is very relaxed and laid back and easy to chat with. I felt like my first swap meet was a little awkward because I didn't know anybody, but the second one was a lot more fun because had gone to other meets, made friends, and could actually talk to other people.

I'd say the easiest way to get to know people is through small organized tea parties because they're more intimate and sometimes more structured, which makes it a little easier to get to know people. After that, the monthly meetups are usually pretty chill, but I can see those being a little intimidating if you don't know anyone, since they're pretty casual and everyone kind of flocks to their friend groups or does their own thing.

>>9336227
>Except for a few, most people into this hobby can't be trusted imo.
fify

>>9330720
if your comm "judges" you for cutting off someone who is blatantly disgusting then your comm is shit. and every revolting ddlg faggot needs to constantly talk about it for some reason ugh.

>>9334448
Like I'm not suggesting you should be ashamed of your ancestry but I also have a feeling your post about your heritage was a little more odious than you're making it out to be.

>>9336828
Doubt it, black people love getting offended over trivial shit just for the sake of being offended and making a big scene.

>>9336848
>people love getting offended over trivial shit just for the sake of being offended and making a big scene.
fify

>>9335454
I would go to one of the Valentine's day or white day teas as a first meet instead. Teas in general are a bit easier when you don't know anyone compared to others since it's easy to break the ice and talk to people around you.

>>9336364
>>9336381
ALL brolitas in my comm, except for the transdudes (but including the transwomen, so basically all amab brolitas or whatever you call 'em), are catty/bitchy/gossipy as fuck. One of them is at least funny about it and nice when you get to know him but the others are the ones who start pointless drama 99% of the time. They're not even all gay. It's like they see this female-dominated hobby, think "ah yes girls, girls are catty" and then go completely over the top in middle school cuntiness. Like they saw Mean Girls and decided Regina George was supposed to be a role model rather than a villain. I personally witnessed one of them doing what was basically the two-faced "I love your skirt/ugliest effing skirt I've ever seen" scene with a newbie wearing Meta (because Meta is shit lololol amiright fellow bitches??? high fiiiiive) and he was completely serious about it, not trying to make a joke.
Of course girls can be catty bitches too, but at least in my comm they're only a small minority. If we made a box entitled "catty dramamongers of [insert region] comm" it would contain like two girls and ALL 5+ brolitas. So excuse me if I've become a bit wary of dudes in dresses.

>>9336891
it's amab privilege, raised to be aggressive and socialized to shit-talk each other. guys who have feminine interests are usually bullied out of nornal male interaction and turn that interpersonal aggression sideways. it is a particularly male form of passive-aggressiveness that guys rejected by other males tend to display.

and it is all over here and the other 4chan boards. remember lolcow was begun by a man.

>>9336781
We get it, you think all white people are scum, 'a few of us are ok' but most are just trash right? You are the cancer.

>>9336622
You're forgetting Melissa. I wish I could forget Melissa, too.

There's that one guy on COF with the lovely classic coords who seems to be genuinely into lolita for the fashion itself, without ulterior motives. I almost want to preserve him in carbonite just so we have one pure example of a truly good brolita.

>>9336911
B-but anon, only girls shit talk each other and guys solve all interpersonal problems with their fists! And after they beat each other up they go out for a beer and are best buds again!
You're right though, I've noticed this sort of thing in several of my social circles and even at work. Did a short internship in behavioural biology, which is a field dominated by women, and noticed that it wasn't just the young male macaques who acted like little passive aggressive bitches when rejected by their peers. No wonder /r9k/ is so obsessed with grouping people into alpha/beta/omega categories.

>>9336781
You do realize this goes both ways, right?
>The fact of the matter is, for every decent, non-violent, sensitive, and empathetic black person, there are like 2 very public stories about black people being criminals and like 5 historical examples of black people being criminals, so regardless of how many black people are actually nice and not-shitty, the perception is always going to be that black people are violent criminals, not to mention the fact that the impact of one violent black person on a non-black person will be a million times more memorable than the hundred nice things that black people do.
Someone who wrote the above would get ripped to shreds for being racist, yet you expect people to read your statement and agree that disliking all white people for being white is totally legit. Both statements have some truth to them in that they explain why people might feel a certain way, but neither of them are valid excuses for actually acting out in a racist (or excuse me, ‘prejudiced’) way.

NC seems to suffer from chronic Foot In Mouth disorder and I agree she should probably stfu for her own sake, but you shouldn’t act like harassing her for being a clueless white girl is in any way justified.

>>9336891
Guys rip each other apart on a daily basis, I've seen it, I've been a part of it, it's essentially 'normal guy behavior' that the women in their life aren't privvy to. Put a slant on it where they're all interacting with people that have never been apart of that, where everyone's in dresses and it just becomes drama-mongering cattiness.
Guys are catty as fuck, but they generally keep it to a dull roar where it's out in the open where anyone with a problem with it can answer to it, and you only get your goat got if you let it.

>>9336911
I don't know exactly what you're saying, but it sounds like a lot of stupid bullshit. Don't make it more complicated than it needs to be, fag.

>>9334448
I don't think this is Naturally Cute. Not that she wouldn't say this kind of dumb shit, but because nothing is misspelled.

>>9336911
Holy shit I never realized this but you're right.

Also guys are often just as if not more passive-aggressive and petty in groups than women. Ask someone in the fighting game community.

>>9336935
>Ask someone in the fighting game community.
are you the anon with experience with a certain Texan fighting game community?

and yeah, guys like to claim they only shit-talk to each other's faces but remember they also dominate politics where being two-faced is a given. gendering passive-aggression and gossip is retarded.

>>9336773
Not really much to tell unfort. only saw from pix and the comm sorry to disappoint

>>9335204
>I'm so sick of poc assuming white people are racist

I'm kind of confused. While people could take your statement at facevalue, you are also assuming that poc hate white people for some reason, most don't just like most white people aren't racist. Saying this is really annoying and it's only point is to stir up drama, which you want obviously so you can point your fingers at the "evil sjw poc" in your comm.

>>9336989
No, not me. It's prevalent throughout the entirety of the FGC though, and other male-dominated hobbies but (like lolita for ladies) FGC is loudest about it.

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>>9335204
>>9335212
Regardless of who was right, these posts were begging for some trouble.
>mic drop

Just don't bring up race/politics unless it's your close group and you know what you can say to them.

>>9334470
You can block messages from people on FB without deleting or blocking their accounts. No, you don't have to pay money to people nor support it. That is silly.

>>9336180
You could report that, and get the club banned from the university. That's sexual harrassment and discrimination based on gender.

>>9336622
Wait what? BroJen actually went to meets? I didn't know this?

>>9336848
You obviously don't know many black people.

>>9336883
>>9336798
Thank you both for your advice. The Valentine's Day tea also sounded nice. I'll see if I can attend that!

>>9337154
He didn't. He only bothered ppl online. Remember that copy pasta isn't always accurate, but you can look up archives if you are unsure.

>>9330802
Haha, I do this! ...my stuff is good tho

>>9337121
I tried, but since the club isn't funded or even officially associated with the university and I had no proof, they told me there was nothing they could do. It was considered a private get together and being a sexist douche to someone at a private party isn't illegal.

>>9337231
No, he went to actual meets. I remember clearly. He would try to talk about sex with strangers a lot.

>>9336925
What name did Melissa go by online? Wish I could make a thread about these people somewhere but lolcow banned me and I hate Null way too much to give his site traffic.

>>9336911
I have a theory. A good portion of men have undergone a lot of suffering by the hands of other men. However, they could never hate these men, because they look up to them and want to be like them. You'll notice that most of the guys that men idolize are womanizing assholes, just the types who bully them in school. Kanye West, Trump, Eminem, pretty much every celebrity valued by men is like this. And so, men can never hate the other men who give them a hard time, instead, they hate the women who date these men.

Sorry I'm horrible at explaining shit.

>>9337426
I don't think the males who are into lolita are looking up to Kanye and the likes. Might want to refine theory.

>>9337426
It doesn't help men formulate what is right versus wrong when many women have Kanye West and Lil' Wayne on their playlists. Many female artists are just as bad. It's kind of hard to grasp the idea objectification of females is bad when Katy Perry is spraying whipped creme from her honkers.

>>9337442
Most of those female celebs are just doing what their producers/managers are telling them to. Same goes for the male ones, they only do what their audience wants. You look at things targeted at females and the men are often ideal princes while things targeted to men are often very hostile to women. There usually aren't female characters unless they'll a walking sex object. The degree to which men do not want to sympathize with/be interested in women is pretty unsettling.

>>9337419
He didn't. He actually went on Tumblr and talked to Lolita's. the underaged part is that some of the Lolita's were minors. He would talk about like if you would date someone like me stuff and get personal. Only through pms.

Memory can be faked, caps from it all won't lie. Check the archives mate.

>>9337475
He did this as well, but he also went to a meet and cheeped people out.

>>9337460
What are whiteknights as they are so affectionately called. Also shouldn't you be out on the prowl for gay pop artist to shoot?

>>9337422
You do know Null shut down Kiwifarms, right?

>>9337460
>As women, we're raised to believe that men are like ourselves, but that's simply not true.
This. This is so true. It sucks BUT you can be aware of it and use this knowledge to your advantage. You can still be respectful to the men while also keeping this in mind as well as not defending that aspect of who they are because it doesn't help and they don't need it. Men (including M2Fs) are not like women and never will be until boys and girls are raised and treated 100% equally.

>>9337501
Good, maybe now we can make a better forum.
It's hilarious how he was always bitching about people hating him and threatening to hand the forum over to someone else, yet he never actually did it because he knew that the new admin would get rid of him as soon as he got the power to do so.

>>9336930
i agree. she just isnt nearly this well spoken

>>9335491
What state?

>>9337613
>>9336930
It was probably some butthurt black girl trying to generate dramu, hence >>9335101 popping up to put her in her place right off the bat.

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Ever just have an experience with a girl in your comm until it just both annoys you off but makes you laugh at the same time.

>b me
I was volunteering at a lolita event, it was super last minute and I had only just managed to collect together a coord for the day. Meh, I was wearing a pretty decent Bodyline dress and fit the theme of the event best I could. I rarely attend lolita meets due to university, so I knew no one except a few familiar faces/one annoying friend.
Was stationed at the vip end, told to serve drink,cake and the do to vip's and the different tiers of ticket holders. Rad. This went on for an hour or so, the girlI was with chatted with me about ~the weeb shit~ and guests in general. Was pretty chill. Her shift ends and she has to leave to go onto another, I'm in the refreshments room for another 2 hours and wait for the next girl to turn up.
Half an hour goes by...no one has turned up. A few girls wh are in the room help with what they can but they have to be dashing around, sorting the do. I'm fine, having fun with some guests because I say slang alot, especially when Im excited. Stuff was a bit hectic but chill.
Finally, the girl arrives. Oh lord I now understand why she took so long. She's a wannabe social Queen Bee. Quickly apologises for being late, say whatever its fine and explain the station. As soon as anyone approaches, BAM "I ADORE your dress!!" "That headdress is to DIE for!" as shes trying to serve cake and pour drinks at once, quickly grabbing drinks as I go to reach for them. Say whatever, go about cleaning up rubbish in the room.
More girls come in to check on us, including girls who run the event. "OMG Mod it's so good to see you!!!"..Mod is confused/does not know her and says an awkward hello. This girl has memorised the complete Facebook comm I'm reckoning at this point. Whatever, carry on.

Is BL from the Houston comm always such a batshit sjw?
I'm new to the comm and jfc is she insufferable....

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>>9337860
cont

In walks this amazing Rococo themed group, they look amazing. Would stare at again. Of course Queen Bee is all over her like a rash as she hands us some handmade cookies for the station as Bee puts them out. Turns out the cookies are a hit, running out in close to 30 minutes. One girl asks us who made them? I say very offhandedly as I was serving "chick in a red dress, very pretty".
A hauty laugh is heard. "Oh ANON, a chick in a red dress? Oh gosh no, she was in the most GORGEOUS Angelic Pretty "insert long ass name here" with amazing details, SIMPLY amazing.". The girl who asked this was someone I'd been having fun with serving earlier and gave a bit of a startled look but thanked Queen Bee.
Not alot else happened, Bee was quick to try and get up in anyone's petticoats but it wasn't terrible company. She'd not been there half her shift.

One thing I take away away from this though:
>Anon your dress, is it perhaps BABY?
>I. snorted.
>nah mate Bodyline.

>>9334448
Why does this sound like a fake story?

>>9337668
it was probably Kris desu

>>9337860
>>9337876
You just sound like an autistic Bodyline tard that's a bit salty at the more sociable brandwhores who can afford nice things. What even did she do to you outside of be sociable?

>>9337889
Won't hide I'm not jealous of the cash I can't spend.
Honestly though it was making serving guests awkward because they couldn't stand around and chat as a queue formed of hungry/thirsty Lolitas. Nice to be social but when you've offered to help out at your local lolita, help out and not just flitter about.
I aint got no salt about it either the whole experience makes me laugh but I guess that what it takes to get yourself known.

>>9337896
when you miss out an *event

>>9334448
Make very moderate, reasonable posts, akin to something like, "Trump isn't Hitler or literally the devil." That's all you need to do. That sentence alone will make those people drop like flies and block you themselves. If they try and fight you, just say ":) You can unfriend me if you disagree. It's fine." I promise you they will block you and separate you from themselves all on their own. I did this when I got too many random cosplay and lolita "friends" on Facebook and it worked like a charm. Their bubble must remain intact, so they'll create echo chambers themselves.

>>9337876
maybe she was shy and wanted to make friends? can you really blame her for being try-hard nice if she was late and probably felt bad for being so?

>>9334448
You need to start quoting Mein Kampf in your every day conversations.

>>9337876
...She sounds like she was being friendly to everyone. I don't see the problem here.

>>9337860
>>9337876
>>9337896
>>9337911
Why do you type the way you do? God that was irritating to read and almost nonsensical at times
So what if a girl wanted to be sociable, she wasn't hurting anyone. You sound bitter as fuck.
But seriously, learn how to compose a sentence, good lord

>>9337668
>put her in her place
Does anyone actually believe that, though?

>>9337986
Joking?

>>9337986
More like [anything] privilege just needs to stop being used. It's a not-so-transparent method to bully people of your choice.

>>9338029
Agreed. I think there's some truth to it but people have taken that and twisted it to create acceptable targets for their bullying. So-and-so can't complain, they have cis privilege!

This race and harassment talk makes me glad for my tiny comm. There are a few POC in my comm but most of them are Asian and happily blend in with the rest of us. There's only one girl (idk her exact ancestry) who keeps making passive aggressive comments about white people and wonderbread and how our comm is too white and needs more diversity to make it less white but since she's all by herself, she mostly mutters to herself and on her own FB where we can easily ignore her. I'm sure she'd love to harass some of us about our evil whiteness but lacks the courage to do anything without a few cronies to back her up. She's tried recruiting the Asian people into her POC Club by trying to take photos with only them (no whities in this shot!) but they just told her to chill and stop being weird.
She's really ita too. I'm pretty sure she keeps her hair unwashed and unstyled so when someone tries to help her improve she can rant about natural hair. She's not black, her hair has the same texture as mine and it's really just greasy.

stop using PoC it's an authoritarian left word to create two separate categories of people: white and non-white (PoC), and was created in order to avoid the unfortunate truth that universal white privilege cannot exist because of the success of east asians, jews, caribbean blacks and indians in western nations.
by lumping every non-white into the single category of PoC, any perceived discriminatory offence against a, say, black person is now representative of the justice of all PoCs

>>9337896
you sound like a cunt. stay poor and jelly, bitter-chan

>>9338054

thank you for saying this

i fucking hate it when groups like BLM lump me in when it's convenient then turn around and accuse me of being white passing because i dont fucking act like ghetto trash

I was considering getting involved in my local comm., but when I checked the Facebook page I noticed all the admins' profiles were full of SJW rhetoric. I would've liked some friends who shared my interest, but I guess /cgl/ will have to suffice.

Why is this nonsense apparently so prevalent in the fashion? I hope people don't assume I'm similarly ridiculous when they see my attire.

>>9338082
any alternative hobby is going to attract a fair amount of people who see the hobby as a means of rebellion against established tradition and cultural norms

>>9338082
Do you feel comfortable sharing what comm this is? Because the mods of my comm share a lot of political/SJW shit on their private FB too but aren't annoying or SJW at all at meetups. I've simply muted them on FB and everything's good. The truly annoying ones at meets are the 18 year olds who just discovered /cgl/ and keep screaming about maymays and salt.

>>9338101
This, too. And it comes from both sides, both SJWs and look-at-me-I'm-not-like-the-other-girls people.

>>9335528
Female vs male socialization
The moment the doctor says "it's a girl", the child is socialized from birth to be accommodating and accepting.
I'm not comfortable around males no matter what they're wearing and would prefer that they made their own communities seperate from ours

>>9330566
I live in the deep south but somehow my comm is full of sjws. I'm a radfem but I keep my mouth shut about my politics and just hold my tongue whenever they start talking about something I disagree with.

>>9338044
She's probably one of those anti shampoo people but too dumb to realize no-shampooers still wash their hair regularly with just plain water.

>>9338153
Or maybe it's recognition of the fact that the presence of a girl in an all-guy fandom will universally turn the focus of many of the guys away from the fandom and towards the girl, so that the addition of a girl into a male-dominated clique (see: the military) will turn guys away from each other and introduce fierce jealousy and envy within the group in an area entirely unrelated to the group's initial purpose.

As the more selective sex, such a thing rarely happens in a female-dominated clique unless the male is extremely attractive. In fact, the minority male will try to draw attention to himself instead of the other way around as it works in the first scenario.

tl;dr: the entrance of a female into male-dominated circles causes inter-male strife and envy, the entrance of a male into female-dominated circles causes little inter-female strife

>>9338174
>the presence of a girl in an all-guy fandom will universally turn the focus of many of the guys away from the fandom and towards the girl

You mean exactly what happens to beard-litas and hot dudes in this fashion. Guys who enter this fashion receive ridiculous handicaps for completely mediocre coords that an average girl would otherwise be shred for.

Furthermore, the guy doesn't have to be attractive in this fashion to get attention. He just has to trip certain triggers like how him having a beard is "subversive" even though the truth is he doesn't want to commit to an entitrely feminine appearance by shaving it. If a girl enters a guy's hobby, she will be expected to leave gender norms at the door while a man is praised for "breaking gender norms" if he has a 'stache.
A makeupless guy with a beard in a dress gets likes and
>HUBBA HUBBAs
while a girl with facial hair is reminded that this is a feminine fashion and what an idiot she is for not removing it and applying makeup.

Some girls cream their panties and trip over themselves to give a guy any kind of attention in hopes for it back while losing sight of the fashion's typical standards.

Though, to their credit, I've seen lolitas recognize this more as creep behavior this year than previous years. I think people are getting sick of giving guys so many passes, especially when the truth is they have ulterior motives for being here.

>>9338178
It takes a while for sex-segregated communities to understand the destructive potential of the introduction of a few members of the opposite sex.

>>9338178
>Guys who enter this fashion receive ridiculous handicaps for completely mediocre coords that an average girl would otherwise be shred for.
average girls do not get shredded. they are just ignored.

the topic of men getting preferential treatment is common on /cgl/, but has anyone brought the subject up in Rufflechat or RC:U? preaching to the choir never brought about lasting change.

>the truth is they have ulterior motives for being here.
what are Mana's and Novalar's ulterior motives?

>>9338174
>the minority male will try to draw attention to himself instead of the other way around as it works in the first scenario.
This has not been true in my comm. But judging by these threads, my comm is really low-key and sane.

Can this SJW bullshit please get its own thread? It's not even about local comms anymore. Take your shitty ideology elsewhere.

>>9335204
If you're not racist, why make a vague, accusatory post. Like bitch, you know this is going to cause issues.

>>9338174
Or: women are taught to be accommodating and men aren't.
We need to put our foot down about brolitas and male ouji and hold them to the same standards as women

>>9338229
I'm going to need you to cite some source that says that behavioural differences between men and women can be attributed entirely to upbringing and that the X and Y chromosomes have no difference in prescriptions of desire and normal behaviour.

>>9338229
>>9338231
Also I'll need you to explain how the innate differences of a male and female body will not cause a difference in the average behaviour of males and female, especially regarding the other sex. In particular, I'd like you to explain how upbringing explains why women (who have a large cost associated with having sex and reproducing with a low-quality male [pregnancy and a period of inability to reproduce]) are more selectively discriminate of males than men (who have a very low cost associated with having sex and reproducing with a low-quality female [i.e. they can just go somewhere else]) are of females, and how these biological and reproductive differences do not result in any difference in behaviour when a large amount of men are introduced to a minority of women compared to when a large amount of women are introduced to a minority of men.

take it to /sci/ or /his/, autists

what the hell is going on in this thread

>>9338256
I now understand why some people see /cgl/ as female /r9k/

>>9338263
/cgl/ is nothing like you pathetic socially maladjusted dweebs.

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This has probably been posted a million times... But how is the LA comm? Does it even exist? I tried to get in on the Facebook group, but never got a reply / acceptance despite my profile picture being one of me in Lolita. I've been here a lil' over a year now and want to get out every once in a while.

>>9338178
>HUBBA HUBBA
Fuck, don't remind me.

>>9338289
Sorta relevant to my interest. What's the D.C./Baltimore communities like? Is it full of ghetto ridiculous black girls that can barely fit their fat rolls inside their dresses? Because that's what I imagine it to be.

>>9338256
Literally Autism speaks: The Andrea Dworkins edition

>>9338289
LA comm has been relatively quiet the last two years. It's cliquey so I recommend bringing a friend with you to meets.

>>9338400
That's disappointing, oh well. Maybe I should go find a friend in the friend finder thread instead.

Getting back on topic, are any comms doing a Valentine's Day meet?

Does Idaho have a comm? Is it any good?

>>9338462
Some of my Comm members are having a private orgy. I bought some Aimerfeel lingerie for it too. <3

>>9338322
It's a bunch of itas.

>>9338462
My comm is having a picnic. It's nice but I'm not a huge fan of lolita picnics, so I'm taking a pass. Lucky the comm is super active so there's a lot of other meets happening before and after.

>>9338506
is this for real?

>>9338547
Of course it is, no one ever lies on the internet.

>>9338465
Idaho EGL is filled with a bunch of itas and if any decent Lolita's do exist no one ever steps up to give anyone con crit or just tell them flat out that what half the girls post isn't even Lolita.

>>9338632
Basically their fb photo sums it all up

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>>9338637
Fuck dropped my image

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>>9338212
>what are Mana's and Novalar's ulterior motives?
They're designer figureheads who've been involved in the fashion for decades and helped start it. Not fuccboi's who joined in last year who haven't shaved their facial hair and are secretly perusing for women to date.
In earnest, do you seriously find them comparable to newbie dudes with beards wearing dresses?

>>9338639
That is one of the worst comms I have ever seen anon *shocked*

>>9338714
Then you haven't seen Mississippi

>>9335528
A 'brolita' recently joined my comm and won't stop posting his one mediocre coord to the group. Maybes to every meet, and has a tonne of sissies on his friends list, not to mention he added me to a brolita group his friend made and it's just sissies everywhere. I want this guy banned because he makes me seriously uncomfortable, but I don't want to be the person who gets accused of being 'transphobic' if he tries to pull that card with the mods.

The biggest tipper that he was a creep was he took a picture of himself holding his skirt and petti up. Ugh.

>>9338733
Bring this shit up with your mods, they need to know there's a fetishist in your comm. He might try pulling the transphobia card in his defense but his gender identity (or whatever he might try to claim that it is) won't change the fact he's into it as a fetish.

>>9338722
Do we want to see Mississippi?

>>9338746
I want to see Mississippi

>>9338648
there was ambiguous wording in your post (it read like a sweeping statement toward all men in comms) but this response clears it up

>>9338746
please

I feel inclined to ask since I keep seeing CT pop up as a location in the secret santa thread, is the CT comm any good?
I used to be a part of that "CT on the Frills" fb page but it seemed.. ita and annoying.

>>9338284
im stealing that insult

>>9338841
the CT comm is actually a side comm of New York, Boston, Providence, and Philly lolitas. Connecticut itself only exists to support those cities.

>>9338462
We're doing a small gathering at a cute little restaurant. It's in a city I really love and the menu looks great so I'm looking forward to it. Kinda wish more people were going, but I suppose it's just a busy weekend. I-It's whatever, probably just some losers spending this holiday with each other

>tfw no qt bf to spend frilly Valentine's Day with

>>9338733
You again.

>>9338462
My comm is trying to do an asspat smorgasbord where they go around sharing one thing they think is "lovely" about each attendee and presenting their most favorite member with a gift. So far there's only 2 people going, host included.

I feel bad if more people go because I know the host dislikes a majority of the comm. Though I wouldn't mind seeing her lie between her teeth to the itas.
>"you have an......interesting personality"

>>9338462
My comm is having a meet at Mitsuwa and Daiso. I haven't been able to make it to meets in a while so I'm looking forward to this one.

>>9338462
something at a cafe but your only allowed if you joined in november of last year??? pretty retarded

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>>9335204
What is it with "POC" and suddenly wanting to shit on everyone? Why can't we all just enjoy lolita together? This girl in my comm is perpetually spouting politics I could care less about. I had to unfollow her on instagram because this is what it looks like now.

>>9338785
#notallmen

>>9339191
>text posts on instagram
Oh for fucks sake

I don't blame you for unfollowing that. Did you get any backlash? That's what annoys me most about these self righteous types, you're not allowed to not want them screaming in your ear because that makes you an evil white racist like Susan B Anthony. It's the worst when they're actually in your comm and can make comm life miserable for you.

>>9339191
You "could care less" about politics because clearly they don't affect you. Sorry someone's concerns about their livelihood inconvenienced your day for a second.

>>9339199
On fucking instagram, though?

>>9339208
It's their Instagram, she can post what she wants??

>>9339199
You're not entitled to followers. Stop acting like shitty textposts and random protest pictures are something the lolita community has to to just "deal with". I'd unfollow immediately too.

>>9338462
Actually going to my first meet for Valentine's. Been in my comm facebook group for a number of months, but it's the first time transport has worked out. I've put some effort into a pretty nice ouji coord, so hopefully I can do a decent first impression. Sage for blog post; I'm just really excited.

>>9339214
Yea and anon has every right to voice her distaste for her posts here and unfollow????

>>9339217
1. Just because someone is a lolita and has an Instagram does not mean they are specifically curating their content for the sake of the lolita community.

2. You're not obligated to follow anybody.

3. Complaining about the content someone chooses to post on their own damn page because of issues that concern their lives makes you sound like an ass. Just unfollow quietly and shit the fuck down.

>>9338946
Is that a bad thing?

>>9339230
So you'd follow someone that does endless political text posts and writes crazy papers about some "Bitch Coven"?

>>9339240
Probably not, but I wouldn't whine over their existence to strangers either because it's such a non-issue.

>>9339242
Sorry you got posted.

>>9335528
For real, sick to death of everyone defending the shit out of these creeps because everyone's too scared to be labeled -insert left buzzword here-

>>9338174
You're talking about men as if they're animals, men are capable of being logical human beings and can still focus on whatever they're doing even if a woman is around. Why does every woman think so highly of themselves that they can singlehandedly disrupt anything men do just because they have tits?
Stop flattering yourselves.

>>9339256
I highly doubt the anon you're responding to is a woman, what they said reads like /r9k/ spiel.

>>9339262
If a guy wrote it wouldn't they have tried to make men look better? That whole thing basically read as
'Men are too stupid to be able to focus on things they like if a girl is around and revert to animalistic instinct immediately'
That's pretty insulting

">green"
">green"

>>9339265
Yeah, absolutely no way a girl would write that from attitude and tone. I'm at a STEM school and can also confirm that's the exact thought process shared by all the guys in my EE group; one rantedbsimething similar almost verbatim last week. You make be insulted (as you should be) but you should also know that men aren't a monolith and a tooooooon of dudes believe this.

>>9339265
I'm a male and misrepresenting my post or calling it offensive is not an argument

>>9339242
Do you not realize that /cgl/ is a place where people come to vent anonymously? Jesus, get out, go back to amino or wherever you came from

>>9339265

There’s apparently a bunch of MRA dudes trying to blame everything stupid they do as “you’re so hot, hormones made me do it, lel”.

I don’t know if they get that the same evolution logic also dictates that women must necessarily be screening for males with higher evolved mental functions, who aren’t slaves to their lizard brains. So basically every male that uses this logic, you can basically write back and tell them that since they aren’t evolved enough, by their own logic, you have to drop them from your dating pool because you want better-evolved babies. Hey, biology, amirite?

>>9339326
>“you’re so hot, hormones made me do it, lel”.
Citation?

>>9338841
there are good people in the comm, but it is not very active. they come out of the woodwork for Connecticon and RuffleCon, the latter of which was (is?) a labor of love from CT comm members.

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>>9339282

>>9338722
...Mississippi has a comm?

>>9339199
Found the PoC. People are tired of others getting aggressive with politics because they want someone to point a finger at, and they'll turn on anyone just so they have a target to blame.

Sage for replying to this stupid bait.

>>9339423
>>People are tired of others getting aggressive with politics because they want someone to point a finger at, and they'll turn on anyone just so they have a target to blame.
>tfw this is happening to my best friend's inlaws
>tfw they have been trying to move to America from one of the countries now banned
>tfw people getting aggressive with politics and putting blame on innocents has stressfully panicked my oldest friend's family and may keep them apart

why can't we all just dress up and eat kawaii cakes without flinging salt into each other's wounds

>>9339191
>white feminism is white supremacy
?????
Yeah make enemies out of other women, ok.

>>9330802
A girl in my comm does this. She uses cheap quilting fabrics with extra busy prints and non matching colors. Her boot at cons is always an eyesore. She even made a few "geeky fandom" pieces which were terrible.

>>9339334

Find an MRA and bring up some of the stupid shit "Nice Guys" do, you'll be treated to a first hand viewing soon enough.

>>9339435
No one cares. What does your family have to do with lolita? Nothing.

>>9337865
>s BL from the Houston comm always such a batshit sjw?
>I'm new to the comm and jfc is she insufferable....
BL?

>>9339710
I'll believe it when I see enough of it, I guess

>>9338465
There is a smaller comm for the Boise area that a few of us made because we were tired of the endless ita asspatting, that one girl's creepy conspiracy theorist husband that comes to all the meets she goes to, the endless not-lolita posts and the backlash if someone tries to tell them it's not lolita, the lack of mods that give a shit, whiny poorfags, and people rsvping to meets and not going.(one of the hosts at a recent meet got left alone at the meeting place because of that) Basically we decided that we were tired of being perpetually embarassed by the shit comm and made a new one that we're a bit more selective of who we let join. If you come to a meet and aren't garbage, you'll probably get an invite.

Most of the dedicated lolitas have given up on the main comm. It's a waste of effort and unsalvagable.

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>>9338632
This is why we don't say anything anymore. It happens whenever we try to speak up.

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>>9339995
>clown
>guru
>lolita is whatever you want it to be uwu

>>9338632
Some aren't bad, I moved away when it started but a few of my friends are still in that comm. >>9338639 That picture is from one of their very first meets, if not the first one ever, I know it got better. The group was formed with the intent of improving the local fashion scene, providing info to new people and trying to gently push people in the right direction.

Of course the only way for it to get better is for people to join and actually post on the FB. No one wants to post anymore, but I think that is a problem with a lot of comms lately. No one posts in my local one either. I think the problem is people view any concrit as a personal insult, that if we think their coord is bad then we are judging them as a person.

>>9339995
>guru
The cherry on the goddamn sundae holy hell

>>9339988
>am a mod of idaho comm
>not insulted by this at all

Still it would seriously be nice if you guys could pop in and give real con crit. It falls on deaf ears I know, but the mods can only do so much. I wanted this comm to help improve the scene here, but it won't so long as it is only a few people actually trying. I don't want people to go full /cgl/ on them, but actually pointing out when something isn't lolita would be a start... When we get too confrontational they just leave and then the comm is even more dead than it was before, it wouldn't be so bad if the people who actually did want to improve would stay but you guys are leaving too. Not entirely sure what to do.

>>9339345
I never even realized RuffleCon was in ct. Huh.

>>9340043
Tell JS to calm her tits, nobody is out to get her (and please ask her not to bring her possibly dangerous, obviously severely mentally ill husband to meets. He makes everyone uncomfortable and was a big reason why the second comm was made) and try actually modding when people throw massive fits over polite concrit. Posting once in a while and letting people know there's a mod who cares at all would do wonders.

You can't be a mod and not do your job, then expect everything to be fine. Try doing some of the things you want to see, like telling people that a thing isn't lolita, posting discussion topics, and maybe host a meet or at least show up to one every once in a while. The only mod I know of hasn't been to a meet in over a year now or really said anything at all on the comm page in a very long time. A good portion of why the other group was made is because of the lack of any kind of moderation. (The final tipping point was JS's creepy husband coming to all the meets)

>>9339995
>clown
W-what? This person needs to be gently corrected, at the very least. You gotta say something.

>>9340043
We do. Maybe you should appoint other people (who live in the state) as mods to help clean shit up. Poor moderators are why the new comm was made.

>>9338236
>>9338231
I took Animal Behavior 101 as well but we aren't talking about a fucking sample population of gophers here, this is about societal norms and expectations for females in Western culture. Women are expected to be more passive and agreeable and men are expected to be more head-on and confrontational.

This honestly isn't even exclusive to the situation brought up (brolitas in the community), I've seen a lot of people scrape by in both online and IRL groups with behavior that either explicitly breaks the group rules or that makes a large amount of members uncomfortable, and the mods hesitate to ban or do more than a wrist slap because they don't want to be seen as "mean".

>>9340059
>>9340066
Hmm I see, The problem is I am the mod who moved to california right before things picked up. I have little power to do much. But, I will tell the other mods about this, maybe even show them the thread. Mind you, the last post that had anyone really commenting on it was from december. It's so dead that I am likely just missing threads that have problems, its not like anyone has tagged a mod in them or actually tried to explain why something is or is not lolita in the threads themselves. The last time I see anything like that happening it seemed to go fine, people asking questions and then accepting the answers... I will talk to JS for sure though, and the other mods and see if we can't work on these points. If you had a problem with a specific person showing up to meets though you should have said something, we have kicked people out for that before. If you did say something to a mod they didn't discus it with the other mods, which would be a problem. I honestly am not finding any massive fits by the way, and I am still scrolling. If a mod doesn't catch it remember to tag or message them, as that is against our rules.

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>>9340065
Believe me, we tried. She replies with sob story about brand snobs telling her that her goodwill christening dresses aren't lolita and how triggering desu it is now when people tell othed people something isn't lolita. She now defends and asspats hard whenever someone tells anyone else their stuff isn't lolita. It's actually really sad though because she's really active but will never improve because of her attitude. (She is also the one with the creepy husband)

This is the thing people were saying isn't lolita that started her on her asspat crusade.

>>9340087
I reeled back from my monitor like a snake struck at me when I opened that

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>>9340087
My condolences.

>>9340085
Only 1 of you lives in Idaho and she never posts. There have been a couple of people who do post things. The reason there hasn't been anything active lately is probably because those people are tired of making discussion topics that no one replies to.

>>9340085
Part of the problem is that nobody knows who the mods are and that none of you post or go to meets so we never see you. It's been pretty dead since December because a lot of the active members gave up even posting after H got left alone at a meet. (Though there is stuff up to Jan 29th so I don't know why you can't see that.)

The main huge fit that happened was MR posting that halloween costume and A politely telling her it was a cute dress but not lolita that triggered MR pitching a fit, JS making that "clown lolita" post, people trying to politely explain why it isn't a thing to post in the lolita comm and what makes lolita lolita, MR going to the cosplay comm to complain about "lolitas R meanies" and trying to scare people away from joining our comm.

>>9340101
>>9340098
Yeah that makes sense, we are talking and are going to get some new mods in, with an interview process... It would help if you could tell me exactly what js and her husband are up to. I can't kick them or anything without proof but I can explain to them what behavior is not OK and give them a warning. And you can find the admins listed on the page, message any one of them and they should reply. Apparently school life has been keeping them busy which is understandable, but I don't like how it has killed the comm. If you want people to participate in discussions though, you are going to have to participate in discussions. I can't really do much about that on my own.

>>9340101
Oh I can see the earlier posts, just no one bothering to participate. I was talking about posts with activity.

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>>9340138
This guy is coming to our meets dressed like a hobo.

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>>9340148

>>9340152
Also, as I said we gave up. Don't expect people to make effort if no one else hasn't.

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>>9340152
I fucked up. This is the middle of the insanity.

>>9340148
>>9340152
Wow. OK yeah ew. If he is bringing that garbage to meets we really need to be doing something about it. I will be making a post on the page this evening, if you want to message me about the specific things he is doing at meets that will be helpful. When I talk to them I want to be able to list specific behavior

>>9340154
>nobody posts so I won't post because nobody posts

I am doing my best here anon, but other than me, I can't make people post more.

>>9340158
He mostly comes to meets and stares at us intensely while eating all our food so loudly that it practically echoes. He isn't part of the fashion and won't take part in any discussion at meets, dresses like a dirty unwashed bum and smells. He comes to every meet she does and tags her in all the shit like this that he posts publicly. People have tried saying no plus ones and nobody who doesn't wear lolita at meets they host and she still brings him. If any of you attended meets you would know this.

Did I mention they also post about all the weapons they conceal carry? So he's not only at our meets, he's also likely bringing firearms to our meets.

>>9340159
>I spent well over a year desperately trying to start discussions and posts and help correct people with it going absolutely nowhere along with several other people and we eventually gave up because nobody else cares.

FIFY

>>9340163
Well, I can't come because I don't live there. When I left the other mods were taking care of things well, I have shown them this thread btw.

>>9340166
And I still don't have the power to make people participate. I would like them to, but I really don't know how to fix that. I can work on getting the obnoxious people out as best I can though and getting more mods.

>>9340148
I'm sorry but aren't vaccines literally.... weakened versions of the virus.... injected so we can boost our natural immune system against those viruses? I feel like a "cancer-causing virus" is just incidental because literally all vaccines are viruses.

I know I'm taking a bs post a little too seriously but damn

>>9339236
Seen this before. Policing someone, complaining that he makes you "uncomfortable", and getting him banned and trying to "not appear transphobic" seems to happen over-and-over again. How would you like to get banned because someone complained about you?

>>9340355
He's talking about intentionally giving people cancer via vaccine not using dead versions to inoculate you against cancer causing viruses like Hep B or HPV.

He also believes in reptillians so I doubt you can make sense of anything he says

>>9340018
>That picture is from one of their very first meets, if not the first one ever
Then why the hell would you even keep a photo like that?!

>>9340368
The sad thing is, if enough people are bothered by your presence they can actually ban and exclude you. Not the anon you're responding to, but this is fairly common in social groups.

>>9340177
Pleasantly surprised by your post. Let's hope things look up from here.

>>9340163
Pic of this person?

>>9340381
I... was not in charge of that.

>>9340163
>>9340148
>>9340087
>>9340066
>>9340059

I posted on the FB page, please come and participate, I really do want this comm to be good! Post your complaints openly if you can, I am just one person and even as a mod I really don't hold much power. Its just a facebook page, I need people to be open about the problems.

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>>9340434

>>9340388
The problem is how many constitutes enough people? If someone makes you uncomfortable, that should be enough to get banned? These threads are filled with stories about people making other people uncomfortable. Did the person who makes you "uncomfortable" attempt to touch you?

did any other NYC gulls see that creepy as fuck post that new brolita made on the comm page? He was in his blouse and petti and the comment was "i know ladies shouldn't be seen in their undergarments HEE HEE"
Jesus christ, it's bad enough that he looks like a thumb, but I can't deal with someone who dresses badly and is a sissy... the mods must have taken the post down now because I can't find it anymore

>>9340083
>I've seen a lot of people scrape by in both online and IRL groups with behavior that either explicitly breaks the group rules or that makes a large amount of members uncomfortable, and the mods hesitate to ban or do more than a wrist slap because they don't want to be seen as "mean".
"Mean" or not "PC." God forbid they tell a man, or a gay man at that, that they are being out of line or, so help you, need to leave the comm.

The response by the man as well as tones of women is always "SHAME ON YOU AND YOUR FAMILY YOU DISCRIMINATING HOMOPHOBIC CUNT."

>>9340087
I think in situations like this it would be appropriate to have a poll on whether to kick her out or not. That is fair.

>>9340488
Well NYC isn't all sunshine and perfection. It's got a lot of fucking weirdos. I was on the D train the other day and had a guy in a pimp hat on my train. You just kinda get used to it

>>9340148
>>9340152
>>9340156
SO, I want you to know I ignored this because I could not find it at all on his page and I am only going to talk about things that have proof...


Buuuut, I talked to JS, was much nicer than any of you bitches, tried to make her feel welcome and wanted.. Then I posted my pined post, got two messages about specifically her husband in under an hour on a small fb page(I suspect it was you guys), told her about them... AAAAAAAAAAAAnnnnd she freaked the fuck out on me, so I banned her.

I went out of my damn way to make sure she knew that all these things were nothing and could easily be fixed too. like what the actual fuckkk....

I guess we are super prissy for even bringing it up, and she was claiming that my opinion was invalid because she didn't know me, despite me being an admin. Fuck I hope we get more admin requests, this is just stupid.

>>9340556
Not even in that comm but caps with names and other ID stuff censored would make this journey worth it

>>9339995
> guru lolita

is that a similar style to gyro lolita?

>>9340488
There seems to be an influx of not quite Lolita being added who don't even seem to live near not have an interest in going towards NYC?
I'm used to girls being added because they're here for a week and want to host a meet up but lately the intro posts just seem to be "thanks for adding me I'm from Seattle k bye "

Also any NYC gulls going to the meet on the 11th? Debating if its worth it.

>>9340593
wtf indian and greek food have nothing in common, shitlord

guru lolita is more like kuru lolita

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>>9340665
>kuru lolita

>>9340733
the inevitable result of eating each other alive

>>9340368
Except he pretty much showed his underwear in a picture of him wearing lolita, claiming it to be a 'naughty' pic.

If he adds me and then adds me to his groups, I'm going to check what his deal is.

>>9335528
Thank you for this.

>>9335998
Yeah, not my experience.

>>9338322
Tbh my first impression of the baltimore comm is that "wow everyone is fat." You'd be better off going to one of the comms in the surrounding areas.

Any Rochester lolitas here? I saw two comma listed but only the Rufflebutts came up. How's the comm? Is it worth a two hour drive up for meets? How active are you guys?

>>9336911
What is amab? I don't speak the tumblr language

>>9341081
Abhorrent Men Acting Barbaric
Alluring Mothers Anticipating Booze
Apples Moving Above Bananas
Arid Months Affecting Baboons

>>9340641
NYC is not even a real comm. Everyone knows you just have to somehow find your own clique and stick with them. You should make a meet, since a lot of the people who started lolita 1-3 years ago are like dying to find others to hang with. You might get a bunch of itas too but there is a chance of meeting good people who just can't find a clique in this "comm".

>>9341081
Assigned male at birth usually meaning being born with penis, XY chromosomes, male being put on your birth certificate, etc.

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>>9339191
>white feminism is white supremacy
So being a white woman and calling yourself a feminist is equivalent to being a 14/88 nazi?

>>9341098
What in the fuck is that picture, anon

>>9341081
Assigned male at birth

>>9341107
http://thiscrispykat.deviantart.com/

>>9340368
>>9340388
Boohoo poor sissies being oppressed by meanie kinkshaming lolitas who don't want to see their crusty underwear ;_;

>>9336911
wait how is it privilege to be rejected by guys for having non-male interests and to be more at home amongst females

>>9340556
I'm the one who addressed him as a creep first on cgl, I never messaged you because my complaints were posted here. So one might be other comm member posting here, but I have no idea who the other is.

>>9341098
a white feminist is a feminist who doesn't include black women/trans/disabled women in their feminism. Not all white people who are feminists are "white feminists" is a It's a dumb/confusing name. Wether or not that's considered white supremacy is up to you
sage for ot

>>9341097
>>9341112
Why don't you say cis male then?

>>9341263
the traits that were being discussed were a combo of amab privilege plus rejection for feminine traits. intersectionality is a thing.

>>9341378
because transwomen are assigned male at birth. so are some intersex people.

>>9341445
still not seeing the privilege
all non-likes get rejected by the alikes

>>9341513
the way males are raised and treated by society in general grants them privileges women do not have in the realms of business, education, politics, and even getting medical treatment (studies show women's symptoms are ignored/misdiagnosed more often, compared to men)

that macro-level privilege interacts with various other categories like race, socioeconomic class, etc. a feminine man gets shit on by other men socially (because of queer disprivilege) but still has the invisible advantages all members of his sex get. when he gets into a female-dominated group like lolita, the privileged treatment he receives makes a lot of people annoyed at the double standards that have suddenly entered the community.

as mentioned in this thread, male privilege in lolita comms often means lolitas will be censured for not being nice to him no matter what. he will get more CoF likes compared to a female of similar skill and appearance. additionally, his experience of male socialization makes him more obnoxious/oblivious in mostly afab communities. this stuff is what annoys some people and why this subject came up in the first place, and why it is discussed among lolitas anonymously and not publicy (because they will be shamed for bringing up criticisms of amab lolitas to their comms).

>>9341258
our comm in SF...

>>9341344
A white feminist is a feminist who is white. A black feminist is a feminist who is black. You can't just take someones race and add your own BS definition to it, white=white person.

>>9341632
So what is the solution? I would honestly like to know.

A male getting more likes on CoF happens because there are so few brolitas who post there and actually look decent. The ugly bearded ones are a joke and I haven't seen one in a long time.

If lolita is just a contest for attention, then I can see why a woman with comparable skill would be annoyed if some dude got more likes than her. Otherwise I don't really understand why that is even a complaint in the first place. The number of likes doesn't equate to how good it is.

>>9341632
can you just stop posting? this isnt tumblr

>>9341632
[unsubstantiated claims]

Hoвoe oбcyждeниe >>9344822

>>9335998
Only if you play with -4 Str.