Local Lolita community thread

I'm pretty frustrated with non-participating members in my comm's fb group, and I'm thinking about purging people who don't go to meets, let alone participate in group discussions, or have anything lolita related on their pages.

I can kind of understand not displaying lolita if they want to keep things separate, but it seems like most lurkers/inactive members are cosplayers which is a moot point in this case.

How have others here manage the problem of who goes and who stays?

>>9295522
I travel a lot so I'm in a lot of coms (hi I'm part of the problem) and pretty much all of them did a recent purge. I don't see an issue with a purge.

Most groups did a facebook event where you had to mark 'going' if you were active and attended a meet recently, or were planning to attend a meet soon

>>9295522
What about mods who don't participate in Lolita? Should they be purged as well?

>>9295607
Yes. Purge everyone. Purge the entire comm.

>>9295522
{had to retype this shit cause i'm stupid}
I recently got purged from my local FB comm group, and yes i realize it is my fault because i wasn't active on my Facebook what so ever. But i was also really depressed and was in the hosp[ital for a bit, i could barely get myself to look at my lolita closet.
I repplied though, cause i want to be more active cause lolita makes me happy, and i have a great paying job now, so i can truly afford the fashion more{ with no guilt}.

BUT i understand the frustration of inactive members :/

>>9295522
My comm created a "purge" facebook event and gave everyone until a set date to "attend," whoever didn't was kicked from the group.

>>9295522
I don't use facebook but check once every month or so to see if there's a meet I want to attend (and more frequently the event page once I rsvp). things like >>9295642 would probably annoy me because I'd rather not get purged from a community im active in simply because FB isn't my usual social media platform.

>>9295642
I heard of this sort of thing before, but it does make me worried about folks like >>9295683
who don't actively use fb in the first place (there are a couple of those in my comm too).

At the same time, I feel like it might be ok to kick people out (with notification), but allow them to return when they're more serious about getting involved.

Another thing in my case is that there are a lot of youngins who don't know how to prioritize hobbies (again, lots of cosplayers) / have the means to get involved in more than one expensive hobby (I think this is another common problem among comms).

On the other hand, I almost feel like it's pointless and should just leave it as is, and focus on the ones who are involved; everyone else can "hang around" unless they're creepers.

>>9295612
kek

> goes to LM to see what's newly listed
> see a item I wanted get listed in the cut and color I want
> buy it
> don't care people are bidding on it since buy now was reasonable price
> fell good about my new purchase
> start planning cordinates for it and talkto my local comm in our "recent purchases" thread.
> girl in comm appearently was the one bidding on it.
> she messages me for being a cunt for buying the dress whenshe was bidding for it.
> accuses me of doing it in spite of her and to bully her from her "dream dress"
> every dress she buys is a "dream dress"
> she reports me to the mods and I get a warning for harassment.

IDK man. I just bought a dress on LM and I guess I'm "bullying"

>>9295697
This would make sense to just leave it as is, but Facebook is shit. You can't invite all members to events if your group is over 200. Now add in the fact that Facebook doesn't list all events in their upcoming events list and it's no wonder why people want to purge.

>>9295828
That's bullshit.

>>9295828
Did you tell them that you didn't notice she was bidding on it? It's not like every LM profile is easily, or at all, recognizable to the person who owns it.

>>9295866
Yeah I did but she's buddy buddy with the mods and I'm a new member to the comm.

>>9295892
It's not like you knew and did it to be spiteful. Multiple people can want the same dress. Fuck that noise.

>>9295828
if she wanted it that bad she should have used the "buy it now" option. bidding caries a risk you won't get it... that's how bidding works. what a brat.

>>9295973
Eh I guess the way she spun it to them made it seem like it was me doing it to be spiteful since she was talking about how she was bidding on the dress in the group Skype chat. I rarely check that chat since it's a circle jerk of " oh anon you look soo cute. Lol I know I'm cute". It's kinda pathetic what a assist group that chat is. But I guess I "saw it" since I'm in the chat and bought it out of spite.

>>9295522
I've had terrible luck with meets in my comm. we don't have a lot of "public" ones since they're pretty cliquey but the last one I tried to go to once I'd gotten my nerve up to make friends I missed because I had a freak nosebleed on the way.

Didn't realize till I got to a stoplight and the lady next to me let me know.
I feel terrible and I hope they don't kick me out before the next meet.

>>9295683
But if you're not active in the FB group then why shouldn't you get purged? It's not a case of being purged from lolita, just the particular facebook group you're in.

>>9296090
Why would they kick you out anon? Did you let the organiser know you couldn't attend the meet? If you did then it shouldn't be an issue.

What do you do when the admin of your comm appoints 2 of her friends as mods, one that has admitted to posting others and herself on btb and the other who is very petty, hostile, and known for harassing people and being aggressive towards them?

>>9296254
HOUSTON
O
U
S
T
O
N

>>9296254
You leave the comm and not touch that drama with a 12 foot pole.

>>9296256
Not this edgy meme again.

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>>9296090
I don't think any sane group will kick you for not being able to make it to certain meetups. From what I can tell, when people want to purge inactive group members they're mostly talking about people who joined the group, made at most one or two posts (if any at all) and don't participate in any discussions, never made it to a single meet despite being in the group for over a year, don't even seem to wear lolita, etc.
The last one is especially important. We have a number of girls who became less socially active as they became more preoccupied with jobs and adult life shit, but still actively wear the fashion. They can't make it to many meets but nobody considers kicking them out because they're still [region] lolitas and when they do make it to a meetup they look fabulous and are great to be around.
On the other hand my comm has like 50+ people who requested to join probably because they're into anime and cosplay and think lolita is kawaii, maybe own one Bodyline dress bought at a convention, but don't participate in the fashion at all. Those people should be purged IMO because to them lolita isn't really even a hobby and the group is just something they joined because it sounded kawaii at the time.

>mfw some girl RSVPs to a limited event only to ask "Can I wear my meido costume if I remove the apron? It fits a leg avenue petticoat so it's kinda lolita right? I don't have any expensive brand dresses but I'd love to come to this tea party nyan nyan~"
>check and find out she's been in the group for over two years
>when people tell her her maid dress isn't lolita and point her towards second hand sites and Bodyline, she gets huffy and decides she isn't going to come anyway nya~
>Why are you even here??????

>>9296256
i notice lots of people chumming around the Shop in Wonderland tag on Instagram. are they members of the Houston comm or just random shills?

>>9296254
Adelaide is this you

>>9296344
nah, what up famalam?

>>9296357
who even knows, but would we be surprised?
>'we have an anonymous bullying problem!!!'
>talks shit anonymously at any given opportunity

>>9295607
They should be purged before anyone else

>>9296233
Different anon but I hate facebook and never use it. However it's impossible to know about meet-ups in my country if you don't get an invite on facebook.

>>9296256
Houston is such a shitshow.

>>9295828
Who spends hundreds of dollars on an item out of spite?! that's ridiculous I'm sorry

>>9296397
Same. I made a FB purely to keep up with my comm. I still try to be active when it comes to posting coords and new acquisitions, though, so I'm not a complete lurker. However my own page is practically empty.

Anon of >>9295522

I certainly wouldn't kick you out over this little incident. There are rules (and there should be rules) set for why people can get kicked out things like repeatedly not paying for your own seat/meal and behavioral problems toward other members. I try to be reasonable. I hope your mods are reasonable. I'm sure it was stressful, but you seem to be making a mountain out of a molehill imho. Have you PM'd them at all?

>>9296293
This. This sounds exactly like my comm.

I want to "single out" the ones who seemed interested in lolita at the time I added them 2+ years ago (many I met through a local con), but maybe have one Bodyline dress or no proper lolita pieces at all, never showed up to a meet, and never even posted in any of the discussion posts. Half of my comm is made up of these kinds of people whereas the other half do wear lolita, but are older and have a professional life to attend to, so they can't always attend meets.

>>9295828
>>9295892
>>9296017
I know who this is if your name starts with a S and wore the instamori to our ILD meet. Please send me caps of H telling you that you sniped the dress from her and prove that you didn't do this out of spite so I can lift the strike on you and remove you from the shame list. She already has one strike for a past offense and this is childish on her part for getting you into trouble with us because she wanted to get the dress cheaper then the buy now price.

>>9296542
>prove that you didn't do this out of spite
>shame list
I'm not in this comm but wtf

>>9296542
>Send me caps proving your innocence
>Prove you didn't do it out of spite
>I'll remove you from the shame list
>She's childish but we sided with her anyway
>She's already got one strike but we believed her anyway

Damn this is one childish comm. Anon, I'd run away from this one and find a better comm. Even being alone is better than being under the control of these shitty mods.

>>9296542
How the fuck does someone prove that they didn't do it out of spite? >>9296556 is right, just get out of the comm and don't look back. These mods are controlling and try hard.

>>9296545
>>9296556
its a list only the mods have access too. it keeps us all informed on who is doing what and when an issue like this arises we can keep it all in track. All claims will be listed then the warning can be sent out. This informs the member that there was a claim against them and that they can shed some light on the situation so we can better address a proper punishment.

The strike against H is for acting as a "mentor" in the group towards a newbie lolita asking for mentors help. The newbie lolita was looking for help on improving a coord that she hand made. H told the girl to stop making lolita because it was not acceptable and will get her posted to the ita threads here. She was punished and hasn't done anything out of line in two years. untill now.

>>9296573
I'm not in your comm but do you honestly not realize how fucking ridiculous this all sounds?

Let's say YOU buy a dress that was on auction but you dropped the full amount of cash on it. After you've bought it, some girl from your comm throws a fit claiming you just dropped money to spite her because it was the same dress.

How far would this girl take this? Would any girl who outbid her being doing to spite her as well? If this girl wanted the dress so badly, why didn't she just select Buy It Now like anon did?

What's next, someone claiming a girl from her comm bought the last dress from a shop sale to spite her? Another girl sits in a chair next to a third party at a meet to spite this girl?

>>9296542
hahahahah what the fuck

>>9296412
I swear most of the identifiable people on here are from TX.

>>9296542
>>9296573
Lol what a shit comm. Screw them, anon, go out on your own. You'll do so much better away from these people.

>>9296573
>>9296542

Your comm is absolutely ridiculous. This is not how adults act. People are allowed to buy whatever dress they want, even if someone else wants it. I'm not saying it's nice, but asking someone to prove that the reason they bought a dress is because they wanted it is so dumb. I'm so glad my comm doesn't act that way.

>>9296542
Surely the girl who made the claim should have to prove that anon did this out of spite, and not the other way around. You know, "innocent until proven guilty"?

>>9296256
I'm admittedly a little glad that people think all bad stories must be from the Houston com now and not my com anymore .-.

>>9296542
>prove that you didn't do this out of spite

How? Take a lie detector test? This must be joke

>>9296542
Wow, fuck this comm. The burden of proof is on the one making the claim. It should not be on anon to prove she didn't do something out of spite. If anon had any respect for herself she would leave all of you crazy cunts and never look back.

It's surprising to find out how toxic your environment is with a comm until you leave it. It's not that my comm is bad but it became so stressful to go to meets because it was uncomfortable to try and talk with people who I wasn't sure liked me or not. I didn't realize how much nicer it felt just going in lolita by myself or with a few friends and away from my comm. They aren't terrible people but it was a very terrible environment, and I feel liberated being out of it.

>>9296748
I left my local comm because of this and waited a year till they got their act together. It's now a new staff and new people in it so I rejoined. It's sooo much better then before and I'm glad I came back.

>>9296724
Agreed. OP, sorry your comm is crazy and defending this girl. You know you did nothing wrong and a handful of sane gulls agree with you. Hopefully that's some consolation, along with the fact that you've got a dress you want on the way!

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>>9296860

Dress anon here. The other girl had falseified proof that I was rubbing it in her face. She sent herself "proof" using a fake account made to look like mine. She's been banned because of her actions to make me feel bad for buying the dress. The mods felt it was appropriate to ban her for her crazy obsessive behavior and apologized to me for the strike.

>>9296941
I gotta see those fake proofs, anon. This is just so crazy.

>>9296961
Holy shit yes please post! I'd also like to know who this crazy twat is so I can black list her

>>9296941
I gotta see this desperation. Post caps!

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>>9296961
>>9297006
>>9297011

I don't have the caps of what she used to get me in trouble. I do have the caps that she threw a fit and pretty much threatened me. But her name on Skype is her actual name so I had to block it. Her usual handle is chocobunbun or queen of the forests or something fantasy nature like that.

1/4

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>>9297022
2/4

>>9297022
>chocobunbun
Why do I have a feeling I've heard that recently?

Also this is just like that one girl whining about how someone bought an item at a booth that she totally let everyone know that she was after.

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>>9297023
3/4

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>>9297025
4/4

>>9297027
Jeez what a bitch she is. If it were a dream dress she should've laid down the cash for the buy it now price instead of gambling with bidding.

>>9297027
What a fucking psycho cunt

>>9297030
>>9297024
>>9297031

She's one of those sjw types of PoC people. She's a half black half Asian type and just all around cringy in general. But her sense of entitlement is absoluly disgusting and she won't be too slow to call me a privlidged white racist for all this. But at this point I don't care. I got the dress because I wasn't dicking around to get it for cheaper when 200 dollars was justifiable for me.

>>9297037
if you're who I think you are & this is the dress I'm thinking of, I'm snorting at the whole "I was bidding on it wahh" when the buy it now was like. a measly amount more than the bid. idk if it was really her dream dress I don't see why she couldn't scrounge up that tiny difference. it's a $200 dress ffs.

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>>9297049
If the dress in question was melts cream doughnut then you know who I am.

>>9297055
>all of this over a cut that pops up on secondhand sites all the time

how stupid can she be

i'm so sorry you had to deal with that cunt. make sure to post lots of coordinates in it

>>9297025
You're nice anon. I'm sorry she's a spoiled brat.

>>9296542
Why why would she even need to show proof of that though? People are allowed to want the same dress and buy a dress despite other people bidding on it. The fact that you even gave her a warning for something that stupid (someone claiming "bullying" for buying a dress they wanted) is astounding.

>>9297056
If I was catty I would wear it in a different coordinate every week and post it to CoF just so she can se me wearing her dream dress I "sniped" from her.

>>9297059
I'm really not nice when you start shit with my friends. But to me I'll try my best to help you out and solve what makes you upset. This girl was just a lost cause and absolutely nuts. Kinda glad she is out of the group because she made me uncomfortable as it was posting her whiny posts about how she can't find a good wig to go with her skin tone.

>>9297055
lmfao you have got to be kidding, this cut/colorway was rereleased and is still available directly from AP + closetchild has at least one currently listed as well. It's literally everywhere, and even if it wasn't that still doesn't justify her attitude. Not only was she rude as fuck, she's being rude as fuck because she's a being cheapskate and an entitled brat.

>>9297067
This is what the mods saw which is why she got the ban. I even told her that the dress was available in the shop and shows up often on LM for about the price I paid. then she blocked me.

>>9296303
most girls who shop there aren't in the comm or they're not particularly active in it. they also have a lot of cosplayers they roped into wearing jfashion too. i think they also get their con followers to shop there even though they're not particularly into jfashion too.

however, i can't deny that there are houston girls in both comms that do shop there, but definitely a majority of them do not.

>>9297075
Glad to hear this was resolved and the crazy girl was banned!

>>9296542
Christ. What comm is this?

>>9297022
>>9297023
>>9297025
ahahaha this can't be real wtf

I recently had a friend in my Comm come out of the closet to us privately and begin HRT. It was obvious all along the she was trans (MtF). Lolita is mostly bigly feminine and had been in the Comm for a couple of years now. She said to me she had been going to therapy long before she started wearing the fashion.

Is there anything I can do to show as a friend how much I care for her?

>>9297379
Be by her side and be supportive (and open minded) is everything she might need for now. She'll probably need someone with both feet on the ground to hear her while she goes through the treatment, so, be there.

>>9297379
Be prepared for the emotional fall-out. HRT is like an artificial puberty and it is rough on the individual pretty rough. I lost a friend who was FtM and when he finally got on T he became aggressive and nightmarish; it was his decision to end the friendship. But it was all because of the influence of hormones in a dosage their body was not used to. Basically, be a rock and roll with it, and don't be overreactive to anything, and that is my best suggestion.

I would also suggest doing things to help mitigate transphobic aggression. One time I pulled a waitress to the side and kindly told her my trans friend's proper pronouns; this lessens the embarrassment for everyone.

>>9297030
THIS. When I came across my dream dress a few months ago, I offered the seller $30-$40 above what the bidding price was (bidding price was already a very reasonable price for it) to end the auction and sell it to me. I doubt anyone else would have even bid on it or bought it but I didn't want to lose out on it goddamnit.

>>9297055
This dress is literally up in at least two places right now. What a drama queen..

>>9297583
The bid was at 130 but the buy it now was 200. She was just trying to get the dress cheaper. It's not that cheap everywhere else.

>>9297654
Boo fuckin' hoo, if you want a bargain like that you have to accept you're taking a risk, or suck it up and pony up the cash if you need it so much that you'd go crazy after anyone else who dares to buy it.

Anybody else get super screwed with Secret Santa this year? Haven't received mine from the online one I participated in, card exchange was hand drawn with a marker and had shitty child stickers all over it and local one was cancelled after I already bought the present. Not feeling the Christmas Spirit.

>>9297654
if it was actually a dream dress she would have used the BIN option, but she's just a whiny bitch

>>9297379
Bring him to church and show him he's ruining his life with his sins

>>9297656
I agree entirely. How intensely inane.

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>>9297022
>>9297023
>>9297025
>>9297027
this is next level fucking embarrassing. good show anon, thanks for sharing!

>>9297711
someone went out of their way to make you a card anyways and you're bitching? pfft no wonder christmas isn't working out for you, be more appreciative for what you got and what you did.

>>9298270
I agree with this sentiment, though it does sound like this person thinks the card they received was low effort and are more disappointed about that?

>>9298298
>>9298270

It seems like whoever sent the card was halfassing. I might be alone in this, but I don't appreciate excessively lazy/cheap gifts. I'll act nice to your face about it to be polite, and then donate/dispose of.

Part of this has to do with me simply not having enough room in my house/life for junk, so I have to organize a lot. getting me a couple dollar store items that are of no use to me aren't appreciated, I would rather you just not have spent the money. Another reason is that it seems rude to not put effort into the gift. If you can't even do that, at least make it something useful. If this makes me ungrateful, that's the way it is then.

>>9298530
I agree, especially if it was a card exchange. How hard is it to buy a nice card, write something nice and send it? I'd like to see pics of the card.

>>9295522
I wish my local comm would do this. Way too many lurkers and people who blatantly don't participate in the fashion, and a low meet turnout.

I'm in the same situation as >>9295525 though - I'm in a few comms since I move between college and my family home, but I've not been to any meets outside my college state in over a year because they're less than once a month and haven't coincided with when I was visiting. A couple of these comms have done purges and nobody got rid of me. I think it's more about whether you're actually a lolita than whether you come to meets regularly desu.

hate hate hate my community like if youre mods and youre organizing a public meet we shouldnt be able to hear you hissing bitchy critique to each other every time a girl walks into the venue. have some shame

>>9298726
Sounds like we need more deets about this.

>>9296256
Is that what happened? I'm actually in a different Texas comm but might move to Houston and saw one of the mods intro posts goes by a pretty weeb name and couldn't understand why.

>>9297711
Same. I know it sounds unappreciative, but our limit was $15-20 and while I bought my giftee a really nice $20 head accessory that went with several of her dresses, I was given a single box of strawberry Pocky. I hate Pocky and explicitly asked for no candy. Feels kinda shitty, but at least my giftee was really happy with her gift.

>>9298974
Coat each individual stick in resin and sell on lacemarket for $10 a piece. Post the listing on your comm page.

>>9298974
Damn. I'd be salty too. I mean I even like candy every now and then but Pocky is disgusting and is at Walmart for like 98cents.
I'd complain, to be honest. She cheapskated you if it was supposed to be $15-20

>>9298923
Yup. They're notorious

Not sure if I want advice on this, or if I just want to rant, but has anyone dealt with a mod just completely not liking them? How did that affect your participation/feeling of welcome in the comm?

Our comm just picked a new mod and even though the other mods and I are friends, this new one that got elected just despises me. She's some serious SJW type that thrives off of internet outrage and we got into a mild political disagreement ONCE and ever since then I've been some scary aggressive person that makes her feel "unsafe" and threatened (for some reason). She's gone way out of her way to avoid me and block me on all social media except fb so I can see her dumb posts on the comm page, but really I have nothing against her and don't get what she has against me. It makes me uncomfortable knowing that a mod could be saying untrue things about me and would likely be quick to get rid of me if she felt I was "threatening her safe spaces" by showing up to a meet she's at or something.

I want to go back to enjoying the full comm experience but I have a paranoid feeling about her because of how she started acting towards me, you know?

>>9298985
kek

>>9298996
I did talk to the organisers about it and they put her on a blacklist for next year, but afaik nobody confronted her directly. She's an otherwise popular comm member so I guess nobody wants to be the one to start shit...

>>9295522
This pisses me off about our own comm. We do a purge every so often and somehow it never helps, either.
>>9295607
We have mods who have never planned meetups and who haven't attended an event in years, have never participated in mod responsibilities, who don't even speak to the other mods or anyone in the comm. How would you go about dethroning these people?

>>9298726
If you're in TX I know exactly which comm this is. Even if you're not, my comm is the same.

>>9299074
What was the original disagreement about?

>>9299475
I think I may try talking to her in person about it, just tell her I mean no harm and will keep my distance if she agrees to do the same, but honestly who knows when that will be. Trying to think of what would be appropriate to say to the other mods about the situation, too.

>>9299806
It was so stupid, it was about gang violence in the US, and honestly, it was much less us disagreeing and more because I told her the articles she was posting were from unreliable sources and had factual errors, and that maybe she had a heavy bias in the issue being a wealthy white woman and all.

>>9299832
>I think I may try talking to her in person about it, just tell her I mean no harm and will keep my distance if she agrees to do the same,

Make sure to talk to her publicly, with witnesses around. She's clearly the sort who will use any interaction as a chance to cry rape or assault as an excuse to get rid of you.

>>9299832
>and that maybe she had a heavy bias in the issue being a wealthy white woman

Every fucking time, I swear.

What's the point of even purging. If people are inactive in a comm they're not shitting up the page with spam posts, right? And it's not like they're RSVPing as "going" and then not showing up, or actively creeping on people... I don't get the whole purge thing, who cares if literally the only thing that changes is your member count goes down slightly.

>>9297280
IDK, I've gotten some people messaging me that they didn't like my tone (I tend to type in a very straight forward manner).

>>9301076
I thought SJWs were against tone policing?

>>9301092
Apperently when you type without throwing in 'lol' or 'haha' or an emoji you're being mean and aggressive and combative and not a lovely.

>>9301106
Oh, they're those types.

>I hope you're raped and murdered, I'm posting your address publicly so people know where to find you LOL

is fine
but

>I'm uncomfortable with your rude aggressive behavior

is a microagression.

>>9297022
>>9297023
>>9297025
>>9297027
Crumpled used clothing auctions can't get more real than that geeze.
>>9301092
I doubt most people care that it's about essential freedoms and rights.

>>9296254
um... All this is horseshit. One of the mods is scared as fuck to associate with people without having anxiety. So she barely ever goes out. I highly doubt she's friends with the mods. Only by association from the group. I know a mod in my group is only friends with other mods because of business.
The second mod I've heard this multiple times and not once have I seen the recipes. I had her as a friend and she went through a purge and posted the lolcow links. Nothing. No caps or anything. Same drama llama posting shit.

>>9301058
They're not shitting up the page, but they can see everything and turn up unannounced at meets if they want. It makes people uncomfortable. I was in a comm with a bloated member list with a lot of random dudes in it, and I heard lolitas saying it made them hesitant to host meets in case one of them turned up. Not a concern I'd have personally, but I can see why you'd be worried - with mini-meets especially, you're broadcasting your location and there might only be one or two other people there.

>>9301058
It helps get rid of potential creeps/stalkers who want to watch the page. It also helps hosts get a better idea on how many potential people will come to large events. All in all it keeps the group safe and organized.

>>9297027
The fuck. I'm a mod and this shit would not stand in my comm. This would warrant an insta-ban...

>>9296542
Just read this. Fuck your comm. As one mod to another, you should heavily reconsider electing new mods if this is how you run things. So adults can't buy whatever they want now without "spiting" others? What if she just wanted the damn dress? Even if it *was* out of spite (which it wasn't, obviously), someone else spending their own hard-earned money on whatever they want should never rank as a penalty.

>>9301435
As another comm mod I completely agree with this. Also, if I had seen this instead of posing oh here you really should of just messaged the girl privately. Not like this should of been a thing to begin with for fucks sake.

>>9299086
>put her on a blacklist for next year,
>nobody confronted her directly

So how the fuck are they supposed to break the news to her? A year from now when this incident is blown over? I can't see this ending well.

>>9301435
'Nother mod chiming in and yeah, that's INSANE. Instaban in my community. WTF is wrong with your comm??

ITT how to not run a comm

>>9298923
No. It didn't but there was no notification about looking for new mods. I also don't think it needs a thread for it either. Anon took their petty ass time to post on btb word for word too. It's not that hard to go to a mod and ask to be one.

>>9297037
oh no is this my com ._.

>>9297037
....does this person's name start with an M. If so she's legitimately a little crazy, and also legitimately people have been spiteful to her.

Both things combined = all the crazy

>>9301385
What are you talking about? What comm are you referring you because I think you're wrongly assuming.

>>9302123
How did it happen then? I never heard people just ask to be a mod before in other comms. My comm did nominations and voted in our mods, afterwards they were judged by the current mods of the time to ensure they were qualified.

>>9302605
No? My comm doesn't do this either. No one votes in the Houston comm for their mods.
They go through an interview and are based off of that and probably what else they've done for the comm.

>>9295067
Anon is referring to the Houston comm. The Houston comm split so now there's two comms. One drama and the other barely does anything.

Feeling kind of bored but no meetups planned in my area for quite a bit. I assume people are just chilling out for the holidays. I really hope it picks back up after the new year.

>>9296542
>>9296573
holy shit are you for real lmao

I'm going to stir some shit here.

A while back a certain transgirl in the comm wasn't allowed to go to a swap meet because she had a cockroach problem.

&& I agree with that.

Here's what pissed me off, one of the comm admins has a flee infestation due to her cat. The flees are deep in the carpet.

Yet she still shows up to events while she could be carrying a flee.

Sounds cutty.
That shit ain't clutch, it hella pisses me off.

>>9303922
Both of those things are dumb. It's the bedbugs you should be worried about.

>>9303922
you managed to misspell "flea" three times. amazing.

>>9295522
You are the reason Lolita fashion is dying. And not as big as it should. Why so mad for. It's exposure you should worry about. Not active members. That will grow with member count. If only you were as smart as your attire.

>>9303922
With the cockroach incident I heard it was a friend of a mod who made a stink because she had a phobia of biting bugs. Wonder where she is now...

>>9304443
rule #2: don't bring community vendettas onto this board. don't even know what comm you're talking about, but throwing out names is asking for trouble.

Ok, sorry about that. Just get so frustrated at all the bitching and bully that goes on, especially to the new people just looking to join and have fun! Its uncalled for and really puts people off and gives lolita a bad rep

>>9304462
4Chan is 18+
And if you're not old enough to look at their decisions objectively in the welfare of the comm but come to cgl to get whiteknights on your side instead you should probably tell your mommy internet time is over.

We don't do asspats here.

>>9304488
Are you in her comm or something? It can actually
be really beneficial if enough fuckery is happening, nothing some good public shaming can't fix. You sound scared. Being comm drama to 4chan ain't nothing new.

>>9304450
>>9304488
You sound new. There's no rule against naming and shaming.

>>9301092
Only when it's done to them. When you forget to pepper your own text with happy emojis you're being hostile and oppressing their feelings.

>>9303922
>&&
>misspelling flea
>cutty
>ain't clutch
>hella
You're not supposed to be on 4chan if you're under 18.

>>9304633
K. Vis is that you?

>>9306029
>trying to start shit for vendetta

fuck off, idk who these are, but get a life anon

>>9306002
what

>>9303922
I probably would have agreed with you but fuck, you sound retarded.

So what the fuck is happening in the SOL community rn? What's the point of banning members who aren't even in the comm anymore?

>>9303922
Idk who you are but that chick had a bedbug problem not a roach problem. Stop trying to make drama when you don't fact check or spell check.

>>9306978
It seems kind of unnecessary to post about it at all

>>9307051
There's no point to these kinds of posts unless the banned people were actively doing stuff that would endanger other members. I didn't even know drama was happening until I saw the post but now I want to know more.

>>9303922
>shit ain't clutch, it hella
someone, please translate

>>9307057
Agreed, I'm definitely curious now.

Has anyone had any interactions was the Ottawa community? I've been thinking of trying to join in but I've never met any of them.

>>9307058
I'll attempt, my slang isn't on fleek, bear with me

>That shit ain't clutch, it hella pisses me off.
>That is way uncool and causes me distress

>>9307058
Clutch- usually meaning something that is invaluable at the very last minute (my ss was clutch in getting me a dress for the holidays)

Hella- a northern California modifier emphasizing excess (The detailing on AP's new release is hella cute)

Literally the sentence doesn't make a lot of contextual sense, since there is nothing in the situation indicating an urgency that would necessitate the use of the term "clutch." Either way, the person ended up being very upset.

>>9306978
I'm not in the community, but in a lot of cases members who "leave the comm" either make a big stink about leaving for attention but still tag along to events when they realize all the stuff they're missing out on or leave and then later come back. Banning them ensures they can't do that if they truly are a person deserving of ban.

>>9304488
Actually, I and most of our comm are 18+ It just sucks and makes it difficult for new people to join in and have fun or feel welcome cos of complete bitches constantly putting other people down. The person in charge is horrible and appointed her other bitchy friends as staff, so anybody that doesn't go along with their crap is just targeted and put down until they leave. Including the new people just joining cos they like lolita or want to get started with it. Another irritating thing about them is that they have no clue what they're talking about when it comes to lolita, unless picking faults on other people. Just malicious bitching. (And if this is one of you, ffs put them away. Lolita is about modesty and cuteness, not finding the tightest dress you can show off your tits in)

>>9307010
It was in fact a roach problem, at the time she was banned from the meet it was suspected/assumed to be bedbugs (by a crazy shitstirring girl), but was later confirmed to be roaches instead.

Does anyone know if there's a comm in Panamá?

>>9295067
I'm looking to maybe the join the comm in either DC or Baltimore. Does anyone have any experience with either of them recently?

>>9306978

Can someone explain why the girl got banned? The explanation the mods posted didn't make things any clearer.

>>9303922
I thought fleas didn't ride on people, they ride on animals...?

>>9311205
eh. kinda not true. she left (for reasons i cant share right now) and a friend shared her sales post. one of the mods took offence and now we're here.

>>9311243
>>9311205
confused at what's wrong with asking a friend to sell some stuff for her?

>>9311277

Her friend wasn't doing the selling, which would have been fine - she was acting as a go-between, which is not fine because it fucks with keeping track of who's selling what and where the feedback goes. A mod explained it to the friend, who chose to remove the sales post. Banned girl got salty that she couldn't play telephone to sell her shit in the comm and started saying nasty shit about people, so now everyone's like BYE

>>9311211
Fleas hitch rides on people's clothes all the time. They feed on animals, but they'll ride on whatever gets them to an animal. A lot of pets get fleas when their owners track them in.

>>9311309
When I was growing up I had fleas cause my parents were awful. They would crawl under my sleeves and shit, I would wear shorts and short sleeved shirts and would just kill them when they bit me.

>>9311068
Both are fairly inactive and half the girls cant dress themselves

>>9311365
Speak for yourself.

>>9311068
Charm City is much more active than DC. We actually have our largest tea event coming up on the 15th. We have monthly dinner meets and a bunch of smaller meets scattered throughout. Most of the girls are very welcoming. However some are pretty odd... a few always bring their husbands to meets, which is annoying. Just an average comm honestly.

>>9311385
Did I strike a nerve, ita chan? I cringe whenever I see your comms photos dumped here.

>>9311405
why do you type like some shitty scifi movie villain

>>9311385
Are they like super obnoxious nasty husbands or just dudes who don't wear the fashion but act generally like decent people?

>>9311304
That's like 1/3 of what's actually happening. There's more too it and honestly the whole thing is becoming a huge over exaggerated cluster fuck and the mods covering their asses.

>>9311414
Most of the guys don't wear it and they just kind of sit around and take up space. The only problem I've had with the comm is girls (mainly the younger ones) not having any manners/common sense when behaving in groups. We recently had a 14-year-old join our comm and she wants to bring her parents to a meet, for example.

>>9311419
She publicly said "One of the mods is a homophobe and I had to leave because I felt unsafe" but refused to say which mod, and then backpedalled. You can't just drop a deuce like that and leave it. "One of these people is awful but HAVE FUN FIGURING OUT WHICH ONE LOL"

>>9311304
Yeah, I call bs on this because I've posted sales stuff before for a friend and none of the mods said shit-all to me.

What's the general sentiment towards guys who want to meet girls who are into these dresses joining these communities?

I'd be willing to dress up too, I'd wear whatever, a suit or even a dress,dresses are super comfortable.

I just don't want to be treated like a creep, I want to make friends and hopefully find a cool girl to become romantically involved with...

or are most groups female only?

>>9311562
GTFO that's the general sentiment.
We dd not make a comm to get hit on by knucle draggers.

Because you intend is not to do it caus eyou like it but to "meet girls" which is cringey af.

Stay the fuck out. It's creepy to try to get in a fashion club to hit on the chicks.

>>9311566

>lack of reading comprehension skills
and you call me a knuckle dragger?

I like the dresses, I think you all look cute wearing them. I'd like to learn more about it in a way that isn't me lurking the internet for hours alone in my room.

Maybe you don't understand the meaning of the words "friends" and "hope"?

I'm sorry the guys you interact with are douchebags who only value you for your vag, but don't project that shit on me

>>9311582
honestly dude you're better off going to cons and trying to hit it off with the lolitas you find there. joining a comm with a bigger interest in the people wearing the fashion than the fashion itself is gonna get you auto-labeled a creep. So either join the fashion with coords and a genuine interest or do the above mentioned

>>9311562
I think it depends on the comm. In my comm guys were equally welcome as girls (brolitas, we didn't have any dandy guys). And honestly, some lolitas are pretty thristy so if you dress up fancy I think they would love you in their comm.

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>>9311582

>>9311562
>>9311582
>sentiment towards guys who want to meet girls
>I'd be willing
This is your goal so fuck off creep. It's a place for me to enjoy lolita and I don't wanna be oogled by a guy that's just there like it's a fucking singles club.
Just no.

>>9311582
we don't want you
kill yourself

>>9311595
>>9311596

Thank you for the genuine replies, I appreciate it.

>>9311605

Holy shit work on your reading comprehension and be less of a man-hater. Excuse me for being straight. Also, willing to dress up as in I know how stupid I'd look showing up in casual clothing.

>>9311608

thanks, you too!

>>9311595
>>9311596

I have a question now, what do guys wear in the Lolita fashion community? I'm not a "dandy" or whatever (guessing that means gay?) but dresses are hella cute and the one time I wore one to a genderbend party I thought it was the comfiest fucking thing in the world. I also love to wear suits and feel mad sexy while wearing one.

Obviously the fashion is more complex than a regular suit or a sundress, so I'm looking for a little guidance and a push in the right direction.

Thanks for your time !

>>9311596

>googled brolita

holy shit I just had a good laugh. Those guys are cute as fuck. Respect

>>9311627
>dandy means gay

Oh my sweet blind prince. You have a lot to learn. Dandy is just a style that many people wore. It's not called that much any more with the rise of aristo and boystyle. But it's the same thing in most terms.

>>9311627
the spoonfeeding you want could have been found in the second link of the pinned read first >7196511

>>9311627
No prob anon.

Dandy isn't gay lol. It's like a male counterpart of lolita. There is also "kodona", "ouji", etc.
I confess I don't know exactly the differences between them except that some substyles are more mature than the others.

For more information I would recommend checking a page called Lolibrary (I think it's down right now tho) or Lolita fashion Wiki.

>>9311211
Read about pulex irritans, also known as the 'human flea'.

>>9311743
Kodona isn't an actual thing, please stop using it. It's ouji, boystyle, or EGA.

>>9311743
Can you stop sucking that guys dick? We don't want shit like that in comms. Lolita is not a hookup club. It's for sincere lovers of the fashion

>>9311627
If you don't even know that much you haven't lurked enough and are clearly a thirsty creep.

>>9311867
Anon pls you can't expect the guy to spend time researching the fashion just to get a qt loli gf, that's so unreasonable. Spoonfeed him instead, you man-hater!

>>9311644
>>9311743
>>9311663

Thanks for the info! I didn't realize the sticky had links, I'll check it out.

>>9311905
>>9311867
>>9311841

All that sodium chloride will fuck with your water retention levels and make these pretty dresses stop fitting properly, you girls better be careful!

>>9311796
It was a few years ago. How New are you?

>>9311933
Kodona was just the name the Western comm came up with. You take one look into the boystyle comm and they're flat out tell you no one uses that term anymore and they're sick of hearing it.
How fucking new are you?

>>9311930
Getting into any hobby for the sole purpose of wanting to pick up chicks is highly questionable, why do you expect to be welcomed with open arms? You don't sound like you're into the fashion at all with the painfully basic questions you're asking, and it doesn't matter who would ask these, because if they can be answered with a single google search we're not gonna spoonfeed anyone. Are you new to 4chan or something? Lurk moar.

>>9311930
>can't read or do basic research
>bitches are salty lololol muh dick
pls go and stay go

>>9311454
publicly where?

>>9311939
How does that prove that it was never used before? It was used and some still use it because they are stupid. But it was still a term used no matter how out of date it is today.

>>9311984
Where the fuck did I ever say it hadn't been used before?

>Kodona isn't an actual thing
And it isn't. It isn't an actual style, it isn't an actual term recognized by regular boystyle wearers.
This is literally ALL I said about it.

>>9311562
>I just don't want to be treated like a creep
>I want to find a cool girl to become romantically involved with

Fuck off and don't ever join a comm. You're the definition of a creep. You have negative intentions to join from the start, not because you enjoy the fashion.

>>9311454
it's fairly obvious which one she was referring to

>>9311987
The term was used before to describe the style. It wasn't recognized by your crappy rori gods sure. But that doesn't strike it off as never being a term people used to describe the style. It was literally every where to descrie boystyle in 2008. Even brands said kodana pants in their descriptions often to appeal to western buyers.

>>9297037
>She's one of those sjw types of PoC people.

We had one of those girls in our comm for a while and I thought she was pretty cool. She talked a lot about race and ableism, cause she was disabled as well, but she never went off the handle and I found a lot of it interesting. She'd post a lot of articles about those issues on her fb, and it was always a good read.

And then she lost it in a group chat on some other girl for being racist and proceeded to "quit the fashion" because of all the racism she saw in rufflechat. It was like a switch was flipped. I've never seen someone become so spiteful in such a small amount of time. She was threatening violence on people and unfriended half the group.

I still find it pretty sad. I think she'd bottled up all that anger for a long time, and it was misdirected on facebook. Black people face a lot of violence, especially in the american south, and it's sad to see what that does to a person's mindset. If you're out there girl, I hope you're doing better these days.

>>9312028
"kodona" was used by Ryutaro of Plastic Tree, to describe his childish-adult style. EGL used it mistakenly for many years.
>Even brands said kodana [sic] pants in their descriptions often to appeal to western buyers.
Yeah that never happened.

>>9311950
>>9311955
>>9312000

You're acting like I want to go to these events to sneak under dresses and sniff panties or something. If the others who responded did so politely, and you three are unable to do so, the only conclusion I can come to is you have some type of problem with guys.

I think the fashion is cute, otherwise I wouldn't be here asking these questions. That's interest in the fashion. If you've had negative experiences with guys in your communities, that's not my fault and I am not them, so don't treat me like an intruder. To call the things I've said creepy is a huge stretch of the imagination.

>lurk moar
no this board is saltier than /pol/

Thank you to everyone who treated me like a human being, I'm off to read the sticky and find IRL lolitas to be friends with. Ciao

>>9312338
I'm sure they will smell your thirst a mile away and rightfully ban you~

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>>9311562

This is the saddest thing I've read all day. You want to spend $250, just to learn that lolita's not some special princess club and we're not all besties. But you don't give up. You buy more clothes. You go to more meets. Maybe you even get into makeup. Another $250. And what do you learn? Of the single women in the group, there are two varieties: normally functioning humans who have better options than some guy that needs to shell out hundreds of dollars in the hopes of meeting a girlfriend, and women with the social skills of toddlers.

Just make a lot of money and go on Seeking Arrangements.

>>9312338
bro, your first and biggest mistake was mentioning that you'd like to find a girl to date among the lolitas.

It's nice that you think the fashion is cute, some of us can appreciate that. The problem is that kind of interest in it is more voyeuristic than anything. When you say you're interested in the fashion you should mean that you're interested in wearing it and immersing yourself in the subculture that comes with it (however shallow that might be but yeah).

And yes, we've had many negative experiences with guys. Someone who's primary interest in the fashion is to look at cute girls should probably stick to looking at photos because that kind of attention makes many girls uncomfortable. Maybe some gulls have been salty towards you but that's with good reason. You should be getting involved for the fashion's sake, but because you like to look at the girls wearing it, or want to impress them, or want to date them. It's not gonna end well for you. And saying "I'm also willing to wear the clothes" is not enough. The clothes should come before anything else.

Not to mention, so many lolitas are catty, or high maintenance, or socially awkward...sometimes all three at once. A lot of are also gay as fuck. It's not like you'll find a concentrated group of girls who make good girlfriend material, trust me (and those that might are probably taken already).

Whatever you do tho, best of luck, but please back the fuck off if you make people uncomfortable, we deal with enough shit as it is. Thanks.

>>9311562
As a guy who is a member of a Lolita community, I urge you to fuck off. There are some of us that really want to go to meetups to look fancy and discuss releases and topics with like minded people in the fashion. Your attitude and intent just reinforces a shitty stereotype.

I can't wait til this guy >>9312338 tries to join a comm and gets banned. If anyone gets messages from a dude trying to join please report back.

To the guy who's trying to join a comm to find a girlfriend, you're going about it all wrong.

What you need to do is watch them from afar and wait until one of them leaves a parasol behind and come here to reunite it with the lovely princess who lost it by inviting her to meet you in person for it.

>>9313137
Yes please holy fuck it was so much fun the first time around!

>>9312016
if you're implying the person who i think you are, could you spare some deets? i've had a few interactions with the mods and they seem pretty chill.

>>9313141
I really hoped someone capped that as a warning.

>>9312338
You dumb cunt, only two people responded positively to you. Most of us hate you but posting "GTFO" twenty times would be pointless when a couple of us already said it plain and clear. The fact that almost everyone who responded to you (except only 2 people) told you to fuck off should be proof enough that they don't just "have some type of problem with guys".

>>9313137
Why does this sound familiar? I feel like i've read a manga that had this shit in it as a plot device >:/

>>9312338
we don't accept girls who are "Interested and willing" we don't accept weaboos who're trying their very, very best at lolita and failing. We don't really accept boyfriends or family members who want to come along to a meet with a real lolita.

It's not a spectator's event. You either wear the fashion (and succeed at it) or you don't come. Comms aren't even for non-participant females. Why did you think for a moment you'd be given special treatment in this regard?

You wear the fashion, and then you get to join in. Think of it as buying entry to the club. This is why everyone is so mad at you. You're asking if you can have membership in a very expensive and exclusive club without paying any of the fees simply because you want to look at the people there? No way dude. No way.

>>9313341
Someone made a thread because they had a parasol left and were trying to turn into a love quest and it was creepy as hell

>>9313341
It was a story in a feels thread like a year ago.

>>9311562
Women join lolita communities to make friends and participate in a group where they feel comfortable wearing the fashion.

You'd be going into the group as a tertiary purveyor, seeking romanticism, and would probably drop away if you did manage to bag a gf. You'd make many very uncomfortable. Since you don't care to spend the hours learning about lolita, your intent would be very obvious.

Maybe you're nervous about getting called a creep because you know that's the label you'd get for willfully ignoring the blatant conflict of your actions. Salt aside, don't do it.

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>>9313341
>>9313364
>>9313141
>>9313181
Found it all in the archive and made a handy DenkoLolita cap.

>>9312338
You obviously don't get it and your levels of autism is painful.

People are acting like you want to infiltrate a comm because you immediately announced your intention as joining a comm to make a lolita gf. Are you seriously dense?

If you want to spend hundreds and hundreds of dollars on a wardrobe to join a comm with an ulterior motive then that is suspect as fuck, since a comm is specifically designed only for people to dress up and share a common interest, nothing more.

If instead you said "I am a dude and I want to be a lolita," or "how does one get a lolita gf" without mentioning anything about joining comms, then wouldn't you think people would be kinder?

IMO do yourself a favor, stay the fuck away from comms and don't even bother trying the fashion. You were more interested in the relationship part and couldn't care enough to look up the fashion before asking to join a FASHION community. You'll just get laughed at for your terrible coord.

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>>9313364
>>9313374
>>9313399
THANK YOU! I now remember reading this, i knew i had read it somewhere, forgot it was a feel story.

>>9297379
Tell him boys are allowed to like pink frilly dresses and that you can't change your sex, help him realise he'll never be a woman before he sinks the majority of his life into trying, failing and ending up killing himself over it

>>9313168
If by chill you mean got her ex also because he decided to walk out on her crazy ass then sure

So I just got a message from a lacemarket staff saying they reversed / edited feedback I had left on a dress because it is 'not correct'. In short the seller and I had a polite disagreement over if the print had been damaged or not. We agreed that it was an inconclusive thing that would be difficult to settle unless we could compare it to an identical make IRL so we agreed to neutral reviews and leave it at that. So now, weeks later, I get this letter from a mod saying they did not like my review, that they're changing it for me and that I am categorically wrong. So did... Did the other person basically come to an agreement with me and then turn around and report me? Cause that's what it looks like.

>>9314106
crap, wrong thread. sorry.

>>9314106
It's okay

I can confirm that is what happened. I would strongly urge you to go to the fb page and cp this message you just posted here and it will get addressed.

>>9313931
>implying telling him "he'll never be a woman" won't make him kill himself

>>9314184
If he's that mentally ill, he needs professional help regardless. Not asspats and "you can be anything you want to~" speeches

Suicide happens to people who transition. Suicide happens to people who are told they can't transition.
It's more important to get these people /professional help/ regardless of whatever mutilation they want to do to their bodies

>>9314115
numb nuts went to rufflechat and they shut it down

>>9313399
>immediately assumes the girl is some depressed NEET who will eagerly jump on his dick
I almost forgot just how cringy he was. Thinks for reminding me.

>>9311543
yeah but in your case the mods weren't actively looking for a reason to permanently get rid of you to shut you up either

>>9314429
you disgust me

>>9315377
Suggesting professional support and assistance for a serious condition is disgusting?

>>9314429
You realize when they go to get professional help... the psychologist is just going to help them transition to become a woman, right? You seem to be in the understanding psychologists talk people out of transition. That's not quite true. On the contrary, they are going to teach them that there's nothing wrong with wearing frilly dresses and they can be anything they want to.

>>9297179
I met the owner (of Shop in Wonderland) at my job and she personally invited me to work at her SiW booth at Matsuri. I've only recently gotten into jfashion and I was wondering what kind of people I'll be meeting.

>>9315394>>9315377
Anon's right, it's literally a diagnosed condition. Gender dysphoria is the real condition, not Tumblrfags deciding they want to wear pink clothes today and blue tomorrow. Get your head out of your ass and stop embarrassing yourself.

>>9315403
Haha. You need to check the archives for that shitfest

>>9315403
I thought she was nice when I first met her and she wooed me with con fashion show shit and what not. You're an adult so I won't tell you what to do, but I would just be wary of the Leighs. There's quite a bit of old drama surrounding AM/HLC and John's creepiness. >>9315421 is right. Just check the archives and you can read it all for yourself.

>>9315403
Apart from the Leigh's, the place seems alright. I might get shit for this but I ordered something from their online store recently. One of the items was out of stock after I'd already bought it so they refunded me and were really kind about their apologies, even going so far as to include a personal letter to do so and sending some freebies along.

Wondering if it was all just damage control though (for what happened w/ the Leighs).

>>9315401
>>9314429
Psychiatrists will also spend a lot of time evaluating the sanity of the patient's desire to transition - ie, no Tumblrinas who are gonna regret it the second it stops being trendy, or Buffalo Bill types. They carefully examine, over the course of months, how well the patient understands the process before, during, and after transitioning. They get to the root of whether the patient wants to transition fully, partially, or if they are mixing up their interest in the opposite gender's clothing (transvestites) with being gender dysphoric.

Sure, it's a mental illness. But like pretty much all mental illnesses, it doesn't mean that person is completely irrational or dangerous or stupid or whatever, just that they might need to manage the illness.

>>9315865
Anon; thank you for referencing Buffalo Bill as a fake transsexual. I was starting to feel old and alone.

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This guy who I've only seen once despite being local is trying to organise a major (£110-£240pp) meet in the TPC. I believe he wore the same coord two days in a row at W&W and looked incredibly awkward. I got the impression it's the only coord he owns. People who actually organise major TPC meets are giving him a total smack-down about it and I think, given the way he writes, he's genuinely retarded.

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>>9316353

>>9315872
You can still feel old but at least we're not gonna be old alone, friend.

>>9316353
Yeah that thread is not going well for him. I also didn't realize that was him from the facebook picture.

>>9316353
Well, uh... at least the coord is pretty ok?

>>9316406
If you look closer it's way too long for him.

>>9316353
I noticed him at W&W too, he definitely wore the same coord twice and was alone every time I saw him.

>>9316353
The answers are way too nice, and with his spelling and writing style I can't even understand why anybody would comment "good idea"

>>9317160
I'm not part of the comm so i dunno if he said some other retarded shit but it does sound kinda like a nice place to hold an event to me? Although judging from how he types and what all you guys have said about him he's probably not the person to be organizing this.

>>9316353
L O N D O N
O
N
D
O
N

>>9316353
>smokey eyes and bright red lipstick with cutesy lavender lolita coord
Sissies always get the makeup wrong. It doesn't matter to them whether it looks good, they just slap on whatever they associate with womanhood. Actual brolitas may suck at makeup initially but will at least attempt to do lolita-appropriate makeup.

>>9317176
The venue is probably lovely (whether it'seems a good meet location or not), but anyone who thinks working in corporate security makes them qualified to run an event, and brags about how no hidden costs would sneak up on them, having previously said they would rely on in-house staff to do basically everything is clearly delusional about their own competence.

>>9317264
The thing is he's from London School of Makeup

>>9316353
Oh I was wonder who tf that was, thanks for the background

>>9315580
>Apart from the Leigh's, the place seems alright.
the Leighs are the place.

if you live in the US, there is little reason to order from them. you will save money buying direct from brand; customs fees never happen.

>>9317296
I go every year, working there this year, its a wonderful venue.

How's the St. Petersburg Community like or the Russian community in general? I may be spending the year with my mother and want to know if the community is worth checking out while I'm there.

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>want to plan comm meet
>it's wintertime in New England

if the prizes are nice enough, what are the odds of getting people to show up?

>>9318037
I mean it depends on where in New England you are. If you're in the Boston comm you'll probably get some bites (at least I'd be curious). If you're in RI or somewhere else it might be harder since I've been told they're less active.

Your real enemy might be mbta if anything...

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>girl in local comm likes to talk about how /cgl/ is so horrible and mean, how nothing good comes from it and how everyone who posts here is a spiteful bully loser with no life

>going through old draw threads in the archives for funsies, really looking at many of them for the first time
>mfw above mentioned girl is all over those threads posting her outfits and begging to be drawn
>doesn't even respond to the people who drew her half the time
boo, you whore

So many girls in my comm are so two-faced when it comes to posting on /cgl/, it's really starting to piss me off.

>>9321651
Oh is this that one pdx girl? Said people on cgl should die or something along those lines.

>>9318025
St. Petersburg comm is small but very welcoming. Fun and creative meets.

>>9321656
Nah, this girl doesn't really have a rep outside our country.

>>9321651
So many girls are just two-faced in general. I've about had it with every comm in my state, they are so fucking bubbly and sweet in person, then they're the ones who come on here saying the nastiest things.

What is the New Zealand community like? do they just have one comm or? was looking at moving there.

>>9321656
I was wondering when someone was gonna drag this comm into the thread.

>>9322082
Right? they get some weird honorable mention in every thread but it always turns out to be nothing.

>>9297055
>that smug feel when you bought the last JSK in pink off of AP's site and it's all sold out now

>when someone posts "omg I can't come bcus muh anxiety is soooo bad this week ;_; " on an event page
1) who are you
2) why are you telling complete strangers about your mental health when a simple "I can't make it, sorry" would be more than sufficient
3) seriously who are you, I don't recognise your face from any previous meetup and your profile is 100% cosplay shit
I wish my comm would do a purge.

>>9321715
which country?

>>9321915
Varies between cities. Activity waxes and wanes depending on whether someone takes an active interest in organising stuff.

So looking forward to my comm's Beauty and the Beast matinee meet! March will bring so many good things.

>>9316353
oh man that post kept me entertained!
>be a nobody in the comm
>have no experience planning events
>want to organize overnight event
hahahahahaha

>>9322903
People oversharing on the group page is so cringey. My comm just had a girl post that she's not attending any more meets at this time because she is "risking homelessness." What do you even say to that. And less than 24 hours after she no-showed to a reservation-required meet too.

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>>9315403
Just do it anon.

so the mods of my comm made a black history month meet but it sounds really cringy like only black people can go.

>>9324764
What exactly does one do at a black history month meet? Go to the National Civil Rights Museum?

>>9321651
lmao, me.

Nah, I don't and won't do petty shit like talking smack about my local comm member to anons, sharing their pics here, nor let alone tell people to not go to places like here or BtB when I check up on cgl every day.

I often feel like a two-faced bitch when I air out my frustrations about the state of the comm/individuals with other lolita friends though.

Eh, hell, I'm a two-faced bitch (I doubt I'm in your comm anon; mine's too small and have too many youngins who would avoid this shithole).

>>9324774
They have two black history/culture museums listed, a tour, or seeing Hidden Figures. So they don't have anything planned or a date set.

>>9324764
This bugs me because we'd pitch a fit if the shoe was on the other foot. Having a black history month is cool but excluding it for only black people sends the wrong message.

>>9324764
The way you word it makes them seem like black panther sjw types. But really it's not like you can't go to a museum about black history and not be black. Education is for all not just your skin pigments. But if you're seeing it as a "blacks only thing" then maybe the problem is you and not them.

>>9323473
Hi Cordelia!

>>9325305
Not even close!

>>9325235
I understand it's different for a country like the US, but as someone from a country that doesn't have anything like BHM, having a fashion meetup to celebrate a certain race just seems weird and awkward to me. To outsiders, the US's focus on race can be kinda strange.
Personally I wouldn't mind visiting a civil rights or black history museum but I would never make it into a lolita meetup.

>>9325379
...If you're not from here I'm not sure how you can accurately weigh in on race issues in america let alone how something fits for a meet in america. I'm not from Europe and so I don't weigh in on their issues with nationalism. You don't live here so of course it will seem strange.

>>9325835
Different anon that's from the US. I wouldn't go to a meet centered on race or anything related. Keep that shit ten feet away.

>>9325844
I'm >>9325835 and I see your opinion as vaild as you're from here. My issue wasn't really if the meet was good or bad, my issue was that the other anon is from some-non-us country weighing in on something that literally is an issue unique to the country. Of fucking course it's going to seem strange that we focus on race so much if you're not fucking from here. I find tons of European issues strange but I don't weigh in because I don't fucking live there.

I wouldn't want to go to a meet like that either but don't claim an issue is "kinda strange" if you don't live here, don't know the history, and don't even have other races from what it sounds like. Worry about your goulash or whatever.

>>9324764
Literally who would care about this. Let them have their meetup. Seems like you just posted this because your comm is either that boring or you're just trying to stir shit.

>>9324764
>>9325208
Those sound like fun activities and entirely appropriate for the meetup? I'm not in the comm but I'd be super interested as it's a good topic for discussion and learning and I don't see any reason why you've interpreted it to mean ONLY BLACKS KILL WHITEY ON SIGHT except that you're feeling threatened for some reason by people celebrating and learning about other races.

>>9325911
In totally down for a museum meet. Black history it even holocaust wouldn't change the fact that I would love to go and see it to learn something new. You can still be respectful and be in Lolita. You don't need to be a cackling hen when your in Lolita. It's just clothes not a persona you have to live up to. I don't see how going to a museum about -insert subject here- is something you have to dress accordingly to.

>>9326029
I agree. I don't know why the original anon thinks that doing something related to black history means only blacks can join in. I don't understand that mentality at all. I'm not Christian but I enjoy seeing pretty churches when I travel. Things don't have to specifically relate to you for you to learn about them ffs

Is it awkward to host a meetup at your house when you live at home **IF** your parents have agreed not to be at home during the entirety of the meet?

I currently live with my parents in a really nice house in an orange grove (we have 16 orange trees right in our backyard, plus some other fruit trees)
I really want to host a potluck/orange picking meetup for Easter. Our backyard is enormous and filled with grass and trees so it'd be perfect for an easter egg hunt.
We have tons of space for seating inside and out.

My only concern is the embarrassment of "I'm a poor college student and still living at home"
When I spoke to my parents about it, they said they would be out of town that weekend anyway so they wouldn't be there at all.

>>9326034
If you're worried about judgment, I'd say just invite the lolitas that you actually know and trust. I honestly don't think it'll be an issue, as honestly only the tackiest and deluded of people would actually shame you for living at home while going to college, but I don't know your comm.

>>9326034
My comm often had meets at one of the girl's parents' place since it's a really nice turn of the century house. We've found it to be suitable with the decor and space for private meets.

I'm sure it's fine in your case as well. Have you asked members in your comm about it - maybe in a group chat with a mod?

I'm trying to increase activity levels in my local comm both online and at meets. We haven't had a meet in 4 months and almost nobody has posted on the group within that amount of time. It's pretty ridiculous. Our old comm leader moved away and all of the old (and most of the non ita) lolitas who came to meets stopped coming because they pretty much only came to hang out in her clique. Now it seems the entire community has disbanded.
I want to fix it, any ideas?

>>9326038
I might do this but I have an image in my head of planning a larger meet so I'd want to have more people. It makes potlucks more fun

>>9326039
I'm planning on messaging the mods soon to check if they have any meetup plans in the works, but our comm is too big to group chat everyone. I might post on the comm page about it to get a general idea.

Definitely outing myself here anyway considering a lot of our comm lurks on cgl

>>9325900
Someone's mad.

>>9326034
I'm from a smallish comm so idk how relevant this will be to you, but we have meetups like this all the time. Garden parties especially, and they always turn out wonderful. Even if the parents happen to be home and they happen to glide through for a minute or two or something. They're always super friendly and welcoming anyway. Plenty of people are in your boat of being in college and living with their parents. I wouldn't exactly say it's something to be ashamed of, it makes sense financially.

Of course, if your parents didn't like lolita, or insisted on hovering the whole time, it would be awkward as fuck lol. But it doesn't sound like that will be a problem.

Also, an orchard picnic with picking fruit and hunting eggs sounds like a dream.

>>9326034
People have meetups at their house all the time (as long as your parents are ok and know ahead of time, nobody really cares?) As long as your place isn't a dump, it's totally fine to host a meetup there.

>>9326043
Host a lolita 101 panel at your local con to attract newbies and get lone lolitas to know about your comm, have a newbie meetup, have a cheap event meetup (is the museum free during a certain month in the year? Ice skating? Mall?), post about a thread about new releases that might generate discussion (like copy a topic on rufflechat), post a free-for-all thread every month to get discussion going and so people can share their coords of the month if they can't go to meetups frequently and feel weird if they self-post...

>>9323109
Is it drama filled or would I be better being a loner Lolita

>>9327086
NZ has multiple communities by cities, my impression is that most aside from Wellington are pretty dead.
May as well join the comm and give it a shot, inactivity = no drama

>>9321915
The further down the country you get the more ita it is.

>>9312338
Go away and stay away you crusty autist

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>>9297027

>>9329333

So has this guy tried to join anyone's comm yet? I want pics/stories