Feels thread

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Reposted from the dead thread because I need advice.

I went to a con in 2012, and my friend got in a fight. The guy ended up hitting his head and dying, and my friend gets out of jail in two weeks.

How long should I wait before inviting him to another con?

>>9295044
don't invite him to another con

it might trigger his bloodlust

>>9295044
You can take him back to the conventions once he realized that words are not worth exchanging blows over. If an argument reaches such heights, take it to convention staff. I'm glad that he's not going to be charged with manslaughter, but he needs to understand self-defense is only acceptable if one feels their life is actually endangered. Otherwise, you are honestly suppose to turn tail to an aggressor and alert the authorities to handle the situation. I doubt he felt his life was endangered by the man.

>>9295048
realizes* Oops, bad grammar.

I hate it when girls with straight hair try to pretend like it has just as many problems as curly hair. I think they literally just have no way of understanding the pain of us curly haired girls.

>lacemarket messages
>"hi trade for a replica?"
>"can i finish paying in february"
>middle of december

I usually have really pleasant buyers on LaceMarket but these two in the same week just bugged me a lot.

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Just found out that some girls in the comm aren't glittering their pubes.

>>9295088
Disgusting. Did you call the lolita police?

The amount of money I've spent on my sewing this yearnis ridiculous. I could've bought my dream dress 3 times. Going to my first meet in nearly 10 years in January tho so that's ok. Merry Christmas gulls!

I tried so hard to make normie friends these last 2 weeks and met 5 different people from online.

It was all terrible self esteem destroying with two of them literally saying I was so old and rated a 0/10, and I literally wasn't even trying to hit on them, with another saying I was creepy and another cutting off contact after we met. Only one guy was chill enough to see me again but that was just so he didn't have to see Moana alone.

I really am just destroyed, and this is after the last of all my close friends left me earlier this year.

Thank god a gull from a con this year lets me vent to her and she is so understanding about the feels ;_;

I can never go to a convention again and it feels stupid to cosplay by myself at home.

>>9295165
Why can't you go to conventions?

>>9295167
I live in bumfuck egypt, midwest and all the conventions are too far away, I don't have much money to spare, and I lost all of my convention friends from past times so I want to avoid the places that I used to go on the west coast.

>>9295167
>>9295170
Losing all of my weeb confriends is the main reason, because I don't feel like running into them in person anymore. I know they don't want me around and most probably hate me actively.
I'm scared to even try making new friends because I'll likely fuck up and say a bunch of stupid things like last time and it'll happen all over again.

>>9295146
>tried so hard to make normie friends
Is there a reason you're looking for normie friends specifically? Why not try to make friends with people who share your interests?

I have a massive crush on a girl in my comm. Shes so pretty and we get on really well. Ive become a bit obsessed with posting things on social media so that she sees them, and everytime she likes a picture of mine or I see a pic pf hers or even just talk to her I get really blush-y and my heart starts pounding a milllion miles per hour. Its so bad it makes me feel physically sick sometimes. Ive never felt like this about anyone before, especially a girl. Unlucky for me shes getting married next year but I know she would never date me anyways

>>9295305
Awww anon, I'm sorry. I know it must hurt a lot but just be a friend and be happy for her. You'll find someone who will love you back just as much one day.

>>9295044
never

>>9295249
At cons alot of people consider me to be a creep/loser. It was a bit painful overhearing people talk about me like that not realizing I was nearby and could hear them, although it is justified some. I have been able to make a gull friend here and there but usually it's only at the largest conventions and they live so far away. I know now it was a mistake to try to befriend normies ;_;

>>9295060
I don't know how /cgl/ related this is but I feel your pain

> Saw a really cute girl at RuffleCon
> Friend requested her after the con and she actually added me, squee!
> Find out she's actually also the designer for an indie brand I like
> She later posts a somewhat mean rant about how she didn't like the designers who won the design contest
> Not long after she leaves her local com in a big huff because they banned someone she liked

Nuuu cute girl why you gotta be a jerk ;_;

>>9295362
Well, why not work on improving yourself? What is it about you that makes people (and yourself) think you're a creep and a loser? Is it your appearance? Your behavior? Both? Something else? Recognizing the problem is the first step toward solving it. No one is perfect but some imperfections can be changed for the better. Don't lose hope, anon.

>>9295146
Ughhh this is why I avoid making non-lolita friends online.

I feel you about wanting normie friends though. I think a lot of lolitas are nicer to me than they are to other people because I make stuff and I really don't like that. Normie friends are just nice to me for me.

I'm about to move too, so I'm going to lose all the normie friends I had from college ;-;

Why/how do people want to cosplay stuff like Harley Quinn when there are 30 other people doing it at the same con? I feel awkward/embarrassed if I meet somebody else cosplaying the same thing as me, because one or the other of us will always look better and the worse one will feel bad, so I feel like 'oh shit must not acknowledge we're both cosplaying the same thing'. Am I just an autist or do you gulls get it?

>>9295362
I'm sorry to hear that anon. Unrelated to your situation, but there's a man in my town who gets similar treatment. I feel terrible because he is special needs, but much older. He's very childish, and many people take that as creepy due to his age. (If he was a teenager, people would be far more understanding by putting two and two together.) He's a nice guy who is just really into anime and manga.

>>9295044
I'd probably wait 90 days

>>9295533
Honestly a lot of the nicer cosplayers will offer to take photos with the less nice ones and getting recognition from someone better than you feels really great!

>>9295576
I guess I've never met a cosplayer who would be friendly enough to do that- going by the average cosplayer i've met, I would expect people to sulk if you look better than them and shit talk you/look down on you if you look worse. But most cosplayers I've met personally and actually talked to have been through /cgl/ meets, so...

>tfw autistic and frequently struggle around people

I just want to be cute at meets like everyone else, but I always end up saying or doing something awkward and making it weird.

>>9295386
>tfw no lolita friends or normie friends
I tried joining my comm but couldn't attend too many meets due to living far away from meets + no car and even though I felt like I was getting along pretty well with a group of girls they had all been friends with each other for 5+ years and I ended up feeling like an awkward fifth wheel a lot of the time. I might try again at some point but I feel awkward just showing my face now because I just disappeared suddenly.

So recently I've been building up my wardrobe and stuff because I got my first job a few months ago. And I feel like my friend is copying me and I'm flattered she thinks it's cute and everything.. but she is literally just buying the exact same things as me. I swear every time I get something in the mail and wear it she goes "OMG I WANTED THE EXACT SAME DRESS/SHOES/CONTACTS etc." and asks where I got it from. She recently bought the exact same items as me and showed it to me and I had to pretend I thought it was cute but she is just blatantly copying me and it is so fucking annoying and I just don't know what to do without offending her or something. I'm just going to stop telling her where I buy my things maybe she will start to get it.

>>9295619
I feel you anon. I'm not autistic but I am super bad at interacting. Been in the same comm for 5 years but have no close lolita friends, and cringe at myself after every meet.

>be photog at a big event
>meet a few lolitas
>pretty, well-dressed, nice
>we hang out for the duration of the event and take lots of pictures
>see them posted
>watch as they're berated with nitpicky and petty comments on their coords and looks
>heart breaks

I don't think /cgl/ should be a hugbox, it's just a weird personal feel. It made me realize how little we take personality and positive traits into account. I mean, I'm a hypocrite because I laugh along with everybody else at itas and the like. But I feel like I've had a small epiphany after putting myself in their shoes and realizing that most of the things we say on here stem from pettiness, jealousy, or a pure need to stir shit for laughs. I think I'm going to start putting in more effort towards not being a dick, because most people don't deserve it.

tl;dr: u know my coord not my story!!!!!

>was gifted a beautiful 'blooming tea' set from secret santa (not cgl)
>feel frilly and pretty as I sip my pretty flower tea
>literally just left "share something you enjoy with me!" in the description box
>P E R F E C T

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Up until this year i'd been forcing myself to be friends exclusively with normies so I could feel better about being a closet weeb. But this spring, so much shit happened (got in a car wreck, tried to kms, spent time in psyche hospital) that everyone I had been trying to be friends with just gave up and ditched me.
Since then i've been able to start over, and the people I hang out with now have the same genuine interests as me. We joke about anime, talk about internet shit, and I can actually be honest with them about how i'm feeling. Friends that support your weeb interests are the best. They've made a huge difference and I just feel really loved and grateful right now.

>>9295170

>living in the midwest

I know you're pain

>>9295978
i cried reading this because im so happy for you

how did you meet the new friends?

>>9295978
>try to kill yourself
>actually socially competent enough to make friends
Try harder next time

>>9296026

This.

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>>9296026

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>be lactose intolerant
>tfw I already drank tea before realizing it's full of milk

I want to propose to my partner of 7+ years at our next convention, but I don't have anyone to talk to about this to make sure I have a solid plan or if this is even proposing is a good idea at all. I want someone to just bounce this whole thing off of to see if I'm nuts or not, but I basically can only talk to his best friend.
Are cosplay proposals still too cringe-y? We don't have any coordinating fashion looks planned other than lazy "I can get drunk and pass out in this" outfits, and I just don't want to be that awkward shaky cell phone footage of someone in a grungy outfit.

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I'm extremely excited to spend time with the family for the holidays. My family has a very traditional Christmas celebration with tons of decorations, and all the traditional foods: fried ham, sweet potato casserole, and fudge. I'm also excited about the shopping. I'm excited to get a few new tops and hopefully a bunch of thigh high socks since quite a few will likely be in stock. My family said I'm just going to pick my own gifts this year. I'm so excited. Unfortunately I developed a fear about riding in cars about 3 years ago or so. In a car, I can't stop imagining horrifying wrecks like "I'm going to die today". Not just the car I am in, other cars as well. I'm suppose to leave tomorrow morning. Instead of going to bed early, I'm sick to my stomach due to the unshakable visuals of automobile wrecks.

Going to watch some anime, drink some hot cocoa, smoke some cigarettes, and try not to wig out in the car tomorrow. I'm trying to stay stoked about Christmas shopping. I'm more then likely not going to spiral off the mountain into oblivion tomorrow.

>>9295381
Yeah, I've been trying to improve my apprearance and some of the things I do and say. So I know some of the problems to work on. Another thing is hard though because people like it and others hate it, but I enjoy the people that like that low tier lewdness/silliness that others find creepy. Ah well not sure if any of that made sense.

>>9296162
As long as you're trying to improve yourself there's hope It's been a long constant battle for me to learn basic social skills, but I've mostly gotten there.
>>9296055
I can't handle milk either as of a few years ago without a stomachache, at least cheese is still fine and that's what matters. Still sucks.

>>9296062
You know what you should do. You should get a kinder surprise egg, take the wrapping off really carefully, and then switch out the toy for a ring or whatever you want. Carefully melt it back together with a warm spoon. Then just casually give it to them.

The ultimate kinder surprise.

Got disappointed at two secret Santa events today. Just got candy at my office Secret Santa even though the limit was $20...Also when people ssaw what i got they kept saying "don't eat it all at once!" which really fucking sucked because I have a binge eating disorder (not fat, it's relatively under control, but the urge is always there) and seeing all that candy was already ~triggering~ and hearing that shit was just upseting.
Then I got my cgl SS gift tonight and my Santa is not even a seagull. Idk why they would sign up for the cgl SS if they have no idea about the topics we discuss here. I was looking forward to getting gifts picked out by someone who knew what I was talking about in my wishlist. I hate to complain but i put so much thought into all my gifts and these gift just feel llast minute.

>Live in Massachusetts
>Can't afford to go to anything other than Anime Boston
>It's basically a hair away from being DashCon at this point

Life, suffering, ect

>>9296170
>I'm going to bitch about food existing and someone being nice to me incorrectly: the post

>>9296170
What did you get anon? I'd be upset too.

>>9296177
Idc that food exists I just don't know why I put in so much effort and other people don't. I guess I should just write "please don't buy me candy" next time I do a secret Santa but I just didn't expect to get ONLY candy since the limit was $20 and it's relatively hard to spend $20 on just candy lol. Less candy plus a cheap little keychain that matched the interests I wrote would have been great. And in my bitchy opinion it's not nice to sign up to an SS for a niche hobby that people participate in so they can get gifts from people who know about that hobby and then not put in any effort to learn about that niche hobby before you shop for it. I was very nice to the office person's face and my Santa hasn't posted in the SS thread ever for as far as I've seen so I really think he doesn't even go on cgl so he won't see this. I'm glad they fulfilled their end of the deal and bought gifts. I'm just disappointed.

>>9296183
forward their name/gift ID to the helper anon and whoever will be organizing the next one

I want to go to Fanime and AX, but I only have enough money to go to one since I'm coming from out of state. If only plane tickets weren't so expensive.

>>9296181
I posted recently on the SS thread.I'm not trying to do a call out of my Santa but I do think that they shouldn't be allowed to participate in the next even. They literally wrote in the short message on the Amazon gift receipt (wasn't personally wrapped or shipped from his address) that they have no fashion sense and that they were aware the gift may be bad. Why participate? It seems selfish to me, like they just want to see "what's that Lolita business all about!" or something.

>>9296188
>a bunch of shitty cheap bows

RIP you

>need to finish cgl SS gifts
>too depressed and anxious to move or make any noise because I do not deserve to live
>jump at every creak and snore in the house as if I am about to be punished for existing
>tfw will never coexist comfortably with people

>>9296184
I was planning on doing that. I feel bad bitching here where there is a possibility he will see it but I don't really have many other people to talk about this stuff with, hence why I signed up for the SS in the first place.

>>9296188
I know that feel.

>>9295665
>iktf
The girls I get along best with in my comm are all around my age, but they're been in the comm longer than I am and are al SQUAD YAAAS about each other. And then there's me, who joined the comm last year and doesn't understand any of the in-jokes. They're very nice to me and I do think they want me around but it still feels very fifth wheel-y. Funnily enough I've been in the fashion longer than most of them, I just didn't feel like joining a comm until recently.

I'm in the process of losing all my normie friends because we just don't have anything in common anymore. Most of them I know from high school and uni, but since graduating and getting a jerb we stopped meeting up. They're not interested in my hobbies and I'm not really into theirs, plus I think my boring adult-about-to-be-married-and-buy-a-house lifestyle doesn't jam with their youthful partying ways. Goodness knows if they don't think I'm a bore now they will surely avoid me once my husband and I decide to have a kid, because most of them actively HATE children.

Sometimes I feel like I should find some nice and frilly middle-aged ladies to cozy up to, because at this point it's like I can no longer click with people my own age. I'm only 25...

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Mfw I've been really getting back into anime lately and just got my Friday sewing machine so I'm really tempted to get back into cosplay but then I remember the last convention I went to all my "friends" completely ignored me and even ditched me at one point and I spent most of my time in the hotel cryin. Maybe i'll have to try again when I make another anime friend.

>>9296218
I know that feel so well
Don't be like me, though. Go make new friends and keep trying.

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>>9295044
Invite him to a Christmas cosplay event. Most cities have them.

If not, con season starts in a few months! Bonus points if you take him to the con where he got in the fight.

>>9296218
This was me through most of high school. I would look back fondly on those cons and outings because my friends would talk fondly about them, and I'd pretty much repress the real memories of how I spent much of the time hiding somewhere and crying. It would only come back to me when they ditched me and it happened again.
Make new friends, anon. Try to find a con buddy who actually wants to be there with you and walk around together. Make new memories and kick the shitty association because otherwise it will follow you around.

>>9296243
>>9296218
Aw I am so glad to hear it's not just me who had that experience. I had some good times but I'm a quiet person and easily fall to the wayside when the real "memorable moments" are happening cuz I don't handle excitement well haha. and my friends at the time weren't really accommodating/understanding of that (albeit we were all young and still learning about ourselves).

For me at least I just have learned to be okay with the fact that I'm gonna sit a lot of the excitement out and that it is usually not my friends trying to ditch me but just us having different constitutions/tolerance levels. It could never hurt to talk to them, casually, and say "hey, if you see me falling behind could you just shoot me a quick smile or encouraging hand gesture to let me know you do still want me around?" However if these friends are purposefully ditching you that obviously unfortunately won't work but it could be a useful tool in the future at least.

But yeah, getting ditched and crying at cons sucks hard, especially when you've been looking forward to it for so long. Hope you can make some better friends soon!

>>9295044
>>9295330
This.

Bad etiquette. Wait for him to bring it up.

>>9296249
Oh I have! I'm fine now. I managed to make real friends who are understanding about me getting overwhelmed, and won't ditch me for being "a bummer" as soon as I get tired and my enthusiasm droops. It was kinda creepy actually how they expected me to be happy bouncy smiley 100% of the time. Sometimes people just get tired, yo.
It took me a while before I could enjoy cons again without feeling bad about myself. Understanding friends helped a lot.
(Also having a decently-paying job and not having to room with tons of people to save money. That helps too.)

>have a massive wardrobe of casual-cute clothing
>can hardly bring myself to part with much

my focus shifted onto lolita, so whenever i go out (which is very, very rare) i'm in frills. all of these cute clothes are collecting dust. i think i'm really going to try and put in an effort to clean out my closet a bit though. why the hell do i have so many anime t-shirts? when did i get these? i'll never wear these, so why can't i part with these?

>>9296315
Getting rid of stuff you once loved is hard. I start out with the lowest tier stuff and once i get the satisfaction of selling that I gradually start warming up to selling the rest. It also helps if you sell them on a platform that is quick and easy for you to use so you dont dread the selling process. I've been using depop lately and it's not bad for me.

>>9296186
also if you're only buying your badges now rates are higher too...
what state are you flying in from?

>>9296328
oh man, i didn't even think about selling. it just seems like such a large undertaking! every time this happens i just dump my clothes off at Goodwill or Salvation Army because none of the stuff i don't want is namebrand or anything

but i'll check out depop, maybe my weeby stuff will sell.with luck. thanks anon! and goodbye, hot topic skater dresses

i wish i could be better emotionally so all my personal worth didnt rely on AA and what people there think of me

>>9296335
Selling is more work but somehow it makes me feel more motivated to get rid of stuff than donating does, I guess it's the positive reinforcement in the form of cash lol. Although I do donate stuff that doesn't sell after a while. I'm also on the lookout for organizations that give clothes directly to the needy rather than thrift stores just cuz I personally like that better, but again, do whatever works best for motivating you! Gluck

>>9295681
I have a friend like this. My easy way out is to say it was a gift so I dunno where it's from. It's simple, not as rude as a flat out refusal to share, and saves the trouble of everything you do being ripped off!

>>9296188

Cry harder DESU, I go every year without caring about getting gifts! Maybe it's time to grow up?

>>9296221
How do I make friends to go to cons with that aren't cringy? I'm a cute girl, I cosplay, but I don't really talk to people much and when I do I just end up finding them cringy and weird. It feels like there's exclusively 14-year-olds at cons now. I hear the whole "go to comic/sci fi cons" but I'm a weeb through and through and have 0 interest in any western franchises.

>>9296369
I think I know this feel. I know I'm pretty awkward and spergy myself and my voice is very quiet and doesn't carry well where there's a lot of background noise so I usually don't approach people for much more than asking to take a photo. Otherwise I'd have to start repeating myself every second sentence. However the few times people have started conversations with me at lineups and such 3/4 times they talk in this odd stilted way or they start talking about why their waifu is so great. I start feeling like a super normie.

Do you get hit on a lot? Ever go to fandom specific panels or other events at cons?

Maybe try the friend finder thread? Lots of other girls posting there.

>>9296055
Get some lactase pills! I carry 12 on me at all times because what if surprise icecream? >:

>>9296171
You aren't far from all of the NY cons

>>9296166
He's severely lactose intolerant but has a weakness for kinder so this would actually be hysterical. Now to get someone to smuggle me kinder eggs...

every time a shitty 14 year old cosplayer makes a musically to some awful nightcore song and posts it on their cringey insta i lose 10 years off of my life span

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Since we're talking about lactose intolerance...
> Cut dairy because it's calorie dense and I want to fit in pic related because I feel the cut is more flattering then JSKs on me and love the print
> Dairy Queen has customer Appreciation day, everything is half off.
> Stock up on Dilly and Buster bars because having a treat once a week or so won't ruin my diet and they'll last in the freezer for a few months.
> Get horrible gas and realize I'm starting to become intolerant
> Deliberately eat one before I go to work because I know I'll be working with douchebag male coworker who wants to fuck anything with a vagina and keeps giving me shit for watching what I eat and bringing my own meal rather then the free food we get at work
> Every time we work together, "A cookie won't kill you" "You're not fat" "Why don't you eat?" even after I've explained I'm trying to lose inches to better fit in clothing
> Gas him like an enemy soldier in World War I
Not my proudest moment, but we also had cabbage that night, so he thought it was the cabbage and was complaining loudly the entire time

>>9296486
I have similar goal Anon, let's make it! I'm also getting a treadmill next week so I hope I will get more drastic changes. Somehow reading about your will power boosted mine too.

>>9296504
Glad I could give you a boost, just remember, the treadmill won't do you any good if you don't use it, so make sure to schedule in time to get on it. I'd recommend in the morning because then you aren't tired from doing other things and will have the most motivation

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>>9296166
This reminds me of when my last gf was giving me romantic proposal ideas... when we'd only been together for a month.

>>9296391
I wouldn't say I get hit on a lot, it's just spergy male behaviour. I spent my past 2 cons working at the maid cafe too (a non- shitty one) so that might affect the type of people I met. I tried making friends with the other maid girls but it never gets past the acquaintance stage, I'd feel weird following them around the con. I guess I can try going to more panels and such yeah but I don't think there's anyone from my country in the friend finder thread. Thanks for sharing my feel, anon.

>>9296336
I understand this feel. When was the last time you did art for yourself and not specifically for an AA/other people?

I ordered four things for my boyfriend for Christmas. They are all nerdy, and pretty much worthless to most people except for him. One was a sweater, another was a poster, another a mug and then a specially made card.

Both the poster and the sweater were delivered to my address and stolen from in front of my door. Just gone. I've put up signs asking for them back if someone got them accidentally, and even offered a reward. But I have heard nothing back.

The mug was sent to the wrong address and I've been trying to get the shop to just let me reorder it and send it to the correct address, but the person doesn't speak English and is being really, really difficult.

I am going out to the mall tomorrow to try to pick up something for him to open up on Christmas. I just can't believe that people would steal packages at Christmas. I've cried twice already because he got me some really nice, thoughtful things, and I've nothing to give him and I have to reorder everything and have it resent to my house and hope they don't get stolen this time. I'm so upset, guys. I asked USPS to leave slips if I'm not there when the package is delivered, but I don't know what else to do.

How do you guys deal with stolen packages? What kind of person does that?

>>9296759
That's terrible anon... But be sincere and explain everything that happened to him. Make him some nice sweets, or chocolates, a cute letter, and give him a "gift voucher" for when his gifts arrive. You should know that, even if it's awesome to get and givve gifts, this should never be an obligation between couples. Be nice to him, go out somewhere, but don't worry that much.

Also, file a complain on the police and the mail to see if they can find that.

>>9296759
I no longer order to doorstep, I have a PO Box and the post office keeps my mail.

Here's my bi-feels thread post about being lonely and wanting new weeby friends in my new country. I've met some cool people that live 4-5 hours away, so that's a start.

>>9296426
Nah, the eggs aren't even worth it. Very little chocolate. See if an international store near you has the Kinder Bueno bars.

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>>9296249
Yea unlike >>9296279
My friends actually purposely ditched me. I'm really glad that other seagull found friends, I hope I can achieve that soon! My "friends" I had went back to the hotel when I went to take a call outside the convention center. I asked them to stay in the dealers room until I got back (it was only 5 minutes at most) I searched the room for an hour or so and texted them constantly. I just assumed they couldn't feel their phones but when I gave up (atleast two hour of searching) I went to the hotel room and they were both in there eating and playing on their phones.
I won't give up though! Especially since now I can sew my own costumes. I feel like it's really going to open my eyes to another side of cosplay. I bet it's an amazing feeling to know you made your outfit entirely.

I wish I had friends into anime and cosplay who weren't absolute attention whores and only want the famez.

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Ugh. I wanted to get my 5yo sister into lolita today, but she wet the damn bed this morning. How can I trust her with $16576675826 dresses?

>>9297187
what dress for a 5yr old costs as much as your adult dresses?
custom order her something from taobao, or buy her something from Catherine Cottage on rakuten.

hell, milanoo's better designs would be okay for a child's firt main piece. don't let your dreams be dreams...just be smart and plan for mud, scrapes, and bodily messes.

>>9297187
Why would you ever want to get a little kid into wearing an expensive fashion that they'll get messy and quickly outgrow? I'm sorry, but you're an idiot.

>>9297187
Maybe you just shouldn't spend over sixteen billion on a dress??

I agree with the anon who said Milanoo.

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>>9297187
Sixteen billion, five hundred and seventy-six million, six hundred and seventy-five thousand, eight hundred and twenty-six dollars...

Maybe get her a cheaper dress?

i need to get this off my chest, ive done three lolita related secret santas this year two were where everyone got a gift at random, i put a lot of thought into bringing appropriate lolita related gifts and got crap non lolita stuff in return. .

The last one i participated in the Uk lolita secret santa. Everyone is assigned a specific person with a wishlist. I read through my persons wishlist and but together a box of thoughtful gifts themed around their wishlist. My santa obiviously ignored my wishlist and bought the first cheap thing they could find. It's so not me my first thought was i got someone else's gift. I know i probably sound like a brat and that its the thought that counts but thats the point i put a lot of thought in to everything and got thoughtless gifts in return.

>>9297352
I complained about the same thing earlier in the thread and a ton in the secret santa thread as well. you're totally justified in your anger. it's not about the gift itself but it is about the thought and when there's no thought on one end and tons of thought on the other it really does hurt. You deserve better anon. :( Was the person you got the gift for thankful at least? That's what really helped me feel better, the girl i bought stuff for was so happy and it made me feel like my thoughtfulness was appreciated, even if it wasn't reciprocated by the person assigned to me.

I don't get how can other people get good friends so easily. It's not hard for me to make friends at all and I consider myself quite sociable, but for some reason I can never bond with anyone strongly enough to become more than just casual friends.
Last year I had an amazing group of friends and around this time we were even exchanging Christmas gifts; this year I don't even have plans with anyone and that same group of "friends" didn't even congratulate me on my birthday (which was earlier this month).
Maybe I suck at choosing friends or maybe there's something wrong with me that drives people off.
Anyway, it's almost Christmas and I'm feeling super depressed about this, but the bright side is that I can spend all the money I could use buying presents for friends in brand so that's nice (and not sad at all).

>side has been hurting for awhile now
>pain comes and goes, thinking it could be ovarian cysts based on timing/symptoms
>still can't be sure and could be any number of things
>lowkey terrified about it turning out to be something worse
>too scared to call the doctor
>keep wondering if it'll turn out to be bad/require surgery
>don't want to miss out on meetups and a huge trip I'm planning next year
>would literally rather not know and suffer
I won't be able to hide it forever since my mom has already figured out that I'm not feeling well. I know it's stupid and I should just get it checked out but ugh.

>>9297187
I think Bodyline has child size dresses and blouses that won't cost a fortune, anon.

>>9297899
Meetups and trips aren't worth sacrificing your health. Please go get that checked out, anon.

>>9297899
I really don't get this line of thinking. Ignoring your health problems doesn't change that something's going on, if you know what it is then you might be able to get treatment so you can actually enjoy your trips.
Basically, grow up and get checked. The diagnosis doesn't change depending on whether you see your doctor or not.

>>9297899

My mother had back and stomach pain that would come and go. She also ignored it and refused to see a doctor. Now her kidneys are fucked. She's been hospitalized 4 times since August.

Go get it checked out. I don't know when your trip is, but putting it off could create an emergency situation that'll cause you to end up missing the trip anyway.

>>9297907
>>9297937
>>9297954
I know, I shouldn't mess around with my health. I'm just so scared that it's going to be something major since things have been going pretty well lately but it's better that I know.

I needed to get it off my chest since I've pretty much just been lying/playing it off whenever anyone asks if I'm okay. I'll probably call once the holidays are over and before classes start again. At least then, if it turns out to be something, I can deal with it.

I'm so happy there's another girl working in my store now, even though she's in another department. I recently found out she's only 18 though, but we became friends! She actually baked cookies for everyone in the store. She gave all of the other mechanics cookies today, and tomorrow she is is bringing them in for the parts people, but I won't be there. So she's bringing mine in on Monday, which gives me time to finish leveling up the pokemon I bred for her as a gift.

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>>9296426
Just do something kind of nerdy as a nod to your interests. For example, that couple who got engaged dressed as Power Rangers, or more lowkey, they have Zelda themed proposal boxes. What's a series you're both into or means a lot to you? Go from there. It doesn't have to be something performative and internet worthy, but something that will make him feel special and know how much you love and value him.

feel kind of crappy because at my work there was a cashier talking to her friend for 45+ minute. it bothered me a bit but no managers where there so i know she wouldn't get in shit. it just sucks because if i talk to my boyfriend for more than 2 minutes when he comes bring me lunch of i forget my wallet i'll get talked to by a manager. when my shift ended and i walked out there was a lady waiting at the cash for a cashier but she was sitting at the table with her friend. i tried to point it out to her but they just brushed me off and i felt awful because they probably made fun of me and just had awful bitchy stares. i just feel bad because the other 2 cashiers had to do all the cleaning and work and had to take the customer instead of the bitch who is sitting with her friend while on the clock. im so bitter now because she doesn't give a shit, and even though she's only like a year or two younger it makes me hate spoiled teens who don't work hard at all. thankfully she doesn't get too many hours.

anyways, to make it cgl related i got my order of contact lenses ! i am happy about that, they look really nice.

>>9296208
>The girls I get along best with in my comm are all around my age, but they're been in the comm longer than I am and are al SQUAD YAAAS about each other. And then there's me, who joined the comm last year and doesn't understand any of the in-jokes. They're very nice to me and I do think they want me around but it still feels very fifth wheel-y.
I've felt like this in every comm I've been in. It's always either girls my own age who are already really close friends, or girls much younger or newer than me who I have nothing in common with. It feels awkward and I don't know how/who to make friends with.

>>9297962
Just because you get checked out doesn't mean you'll have to do away with all the trips you had planned! Communicate with your doctor, and most will try and schedule around your commitments. I understand worrying that it could require surgery, but unless it is life threatening, they can work around your schedule. The meetups are important, but the trip is the big thing. I don't know when your trip is, but often they can schedule things after the trip if it is concerned. (I'm assuming the trip is in the next couple of months.) If it's not for awhile, they may can get you scheduled well before the trip if you mention that you cannot miss it.

>if it is concerned.
I mean 'if it is a concern'.

>Husband tells me his company is paying for everybody's health insurance next year.
>That's almost $500 a month pre-tax.

Hopefully I can get him on the same page with saving so we can get moved out sooner.

>>9298064
Maybe anon was worried about it affecting travel insurance if they're going abroad? You're often legally obliged to declare conditions you know about, i.e. have had diagnosed, and then it can raise your premiums.

>>9296062
>7+ years
you waited this long?

>be me
>have career switch
>be confined to desk job for past year and a half
>gain 15lbs
>clothes all getting really tight, thighs of jeans too tight for comfort, favorite dress starts looking like sausage casing
>focus on healthy eating, go to gym 3-5x per week, make effort to do small physical tasks throughout each day
>tries on jeans, thighs now comfortable again
>tries on dress, a little extra room in the waist

Feels good, man. I still have a ways to go; I think I've only lost 5lbs since starting, but it feels really good to see progress and know I'm on the right track. My fitness inspiration dresses are all starting to fit a little better and even though I'm holding a little extra fat that I didn't have before, I'm confident it will all be gone soon. Wish my luck, gulls.

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>at least 15 lbs over my desired weight due to depression
>low self esteem makes it worse
>strict diet, exercise, really commit
>1 month later
>Dream dress up for sale
>"hey I've been good I'll treat myself!"
>Dress arrives
>Doesn't fit
>Mfw

I am making progress so its not all bad but still.

>be me, haven't been in a good place financially to do anything cgl related for a while
>decide no, I need to get back on my game
>start going to the gym again
>less out of shape than I thought I was!
>making mental plans for dream cosplays
>making mental plans on what I'll buy when I want to restart my lolita wardrobe (sold all of it a year ago)
>go to work today sans makeup because dry skin
>"you look tired, anon"
>used to it, whatever
>"yeah, I didn't wear makeup today!"
>"oh, but it looks like you got punched in the face or something"
>suddenly don't even want to get back into cgl things

I'm not even that unattractive, I think. Just kind of plain without makeup. But ouch.

>>9298164
bruh you shouldnt let a petty comment ruin your plans. whoever told you that is a shitty person. you gotta work on yourself and a build a stronger will and self esteem because you're so fragile. love yoself senpai

>really stressed out because of the holidays, work, etc
>i have been prone to random nausea with no real medical cause since i went through puberty (i have seen a doctor for this several times in the past few years, none of them have ever found anything physically wrong with me that would cause it)
>nausea gets worse when i'm stressed
>literally do not eat unless someone reminds me because i'm nauseous/don't feel hungry
>this has been happening on and off for years

every time i've brought it up to a doctor or therapist they assume i'm anorexic. i don't do this because i have a problem with my self-image or my weight. i'm already very small, i don't want to lose more weight, i just physically cannot make myself eat because i'm sick to my stomach all the damn time. i wish i could get help for this but the only help medical professionals want to give me is about self-image/typical anorexia nervosa stuff, which doesn't apply to me?

it's really hard to cope with. i've started setting alarms to remind myself to eat, and it's been working okay but that doesn't help with the nausea.

to make it cgl related, unless i gain weight i can't fit into new brand releases. i almost bought antique chocolaterie, but it would have been too big. every time i see it, or any other recent releases i wanted, i just feel really sad.

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>>9295044
My friend's bro was in jail from 2010 to 2015 for burglary. He didn't go to an anime con for moths after he got out.

>>9298198
That really sucks anon, stress can often mess with your bowels.
Have any doctors recommended a low fodmap diet? it might help with nausea after your meals

how do I reach out for help in my community when I'm so despondent and sad?

I am known as a happy and fun person and worry if people see me in any other manner that I'll end up bringing down their fun or enjoyment of me personally.

-because at cons then they won't only view me as the happy guy, but someone more complicated

Does that make sense? thanks for any help

>>9298198

I've had very similar problems to you, along with a grab bag of other chronic health issues to muddy the waters and make diagnosis and treatment more difficult. From experience, the most important thing is that you keep making yourself eat. I know it's miserable, but I just gave up and ate less and less, and now I've reached the stage where it's a struggle to eat 500-600 calories a day, which makes me sicker, which then makes me feel more nauseous so I can't eat, and so it goes.

Do you have any problems with pain, or is it just nausea for you? If you do get pain, where is it generally located? Is it stabbing pain or an ache? Do your symptoms worsen after eating? Have you managed to get a referral to a Gastro and had any GI specific testing done? If you're stuck at GP/Family doctor level and not getting anywhere, try to make noise until you get a referral.

Also, please don't try an elimination diet like FODMAP unless it's prescribed by your doctor and you're getting proper guidance from a professional. Elimination diets can do more harm than good, and when a person is already de-conditioned it can get dangerous: even though I was following a plan from my dietician, I still lost another 3 kilos trying FODMAP with no improvement in my symptoms.

>>9298231

You don't because you'll be seen as a weirdo, man up and fix your own problems.

>>9298198
Do you manage food supplements (like meal shakes that are kinda aimed at people like yourself and also at old ladies that are recovering from surgery) or things like smoothies and shakes?

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>make new friends with some local cosplayers
>they invite me in conversations, try to include me in stuff, add me on social media rather than me add them
>still feel like I'm not really their friend and am too scared to talk to them

Bonus points is that they've talked about their own similar fears and lumped me in with the "cool people" they're friends with. Guess I'm not used to having friends?

>>9298198
Have you considered seeing a nutritionist or other type of specialist? One of my friends had a similar problem that she developed from stress as well, and it took well over a year of very careful eating and planning before she could even start eating "normal" foods again. Not sure what sort of doctor she ended up seeing for it but definitely find someone who'll actually listen to you rather than jump to conclusions.

>>9298152
Count calories.

>>9298152
All the more reason to use the dress as motivation! You can do it, anon!

>>9295042
>join /cgl/ secret Santa
>gotta wait till I have some money freed up to get my targets gifts
>be sick most of mid December
>finally better but still pretty broke
>try to pick good gifts despite financial limitations and lack of fashion experience
>in a rush to get them ordered in time for Christmas
>gifts ended up sucking
>not as retailer described, poor quality, wrong type, etc, etc
>I am become Grinch, destroyer of Christmas
>feel like an asshole
>devote large chunk of most recent pay check to reordering all new gifts for targets
>they won't get there til mid January

I'll have to try harder next year.

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>>9298216
Why would a human go to an anime con for moths?

What would moth cosplay even look like?

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>>9298394

>be awkward nerd who doesn't care for her looks in high school and the beginning of university
>during that time, make group of cosplay friends who are also awkward and unkempt
>good times all around, these are my best friends
>second year at university, finally start getting a fashion sense, taking care of my looks, hitting the gym
>start getting invited to parties by class mates, get a normie boyfriend
>still into cosplaying and anime, new friends and boyfriend aren't but don't shit on me for it and some even think my costumes are kind of cool
>old friends, however, start acting like I'm a fake geek and tease me about how I don't even watch anime when I probably watch more than they do
>cosplay together for a while still
>start getting snide remarks from them about how people only want my photo more because I'm pretty/thin
>might be true since our construction is almost on par, but still a rude thing to say imo
>eventually they stop inviting me into their cosplay groups
>reason is that we aren't interested in the same series, which has always been true but had never stopped them from encouraging me to cosplay with them before
>now they just make weird comments alternatively about how uncomfortable it must be to date a normie and how lucky I am to not be forever alone
>suggest they do as I did and work to keep their appearances better and be more social
>they mad, basically stop talking to me

I'm just sad, I guess, that in bettering myself physically and social skills wise, I feel like I've lost a group of people I genuinely would have called my best friends not that long ago. And now I don't have anyone to cosplay with as most of my other cosplay friends are people I hang out with casually at cons a couple times a year.

>>9298198
Oh gosh anon, your description is uncannily like my experience. Warning: this is going to be a gross blogpost but I hoped some of the details of my experience might help anon with hers, even if she doesn't have the same exact cause for her symptoms.

From around 14-16 I started getting nauseous easily and throwing up randomly. I've always got a little nauseous when I was anxious and lost appetite when I was really stressed, but it got to a point where even feeling slightly sick would trigger me to retch and vomit and I was throwing up 2-8 times a week. I went to the doctor several times, but they just implied I was making it up/bulimic or prescribed me anti-nausea pills that didn't work and sent me home. About two years into this I had a really stressful situation in my personal life, which led to more doctors and counsellors saying I was manifesting mental health issues as anorexia, ignoring the fact that I'd started feeling nauseous years before when I wasn't stressed. It was a vicious cycle where eating a lot making me sick so I ate less and lost weight, stress meant I had little appetite, then I lost appetite again because my low weight meant I had no energy and was cold all the time so my body didn't feel hunger properly because I was barely moving.

Even though I didn't lose weight because of an ED, I ended up with some disordered thinking while I was trying to recover because so many people told me I had a "perfect weight" or made comments like "Anon's just naturally skinny!" when it was anything but natural. All the "Wow, anon eats so much yet she's still so skinny! Lucky!" when I was throwing up all the time and it seemed impossible to eat enough calories to even maintain my weight really pissed me off, and it got worse once I worked my way up to actually being on a caloric gain (no, I don't eat a ton and not gain weight, I've gained 5kg in the past few months and you didn't notice because I'm still scary thin).

>>9298419
Long story short, it turned out to be something stupidly simple - I was lactose intolerant. In hindsight I'm amazed it never occurred to any of the doctors I saw, but they only tracked what I was eating and didn't realise I was having several milky drinks a day. I cut out dairy for two weeks (while on holiday so I wouldn't have the results of the test affected by work-related anxiety) and had no nausea, gas, or strange feelings in my stomach the whole time.

Unfortunately, by the time anyone figured out I could have fixed my symptoms with a change of diet, I'd already lost a ton of weight and nearly three years of throwing up and no longer feeling sick afterwards had trained my brain into a psychosomatic response where it responded to mild nausea with instant vomiting to try and fix the problem. This meant that on top of cutting out most dairy, I had to avoid a lot of other foods that could have helped me gain weight, as any meal that might make a normal person feel a bit full/sick (say eating a whole chocolate bar or a greasy meal) would make me vomit. Likewise, feeling slightly anxious about a test or something would make me full-on vomit instead of just feel nauseous.

My digestive system was generally fucked as well - I'd get nauseous from having an empty stomach and it'd make me retch, so I had to eat regularly, but years of being sick all the time and not eating much had caused my stomach to shrink so I would throw up if I ate a large or even normal-sized portion as well. I got acid reflux really easily, so I couldn't lie down or lean backwards for several hours after a meal and therefore couldn't eat between 5pm and sleeping.

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>get into fight with bf because apparently i'm "too quiet" during sex
>christmas rolls around and we are both spending it with different friends instead of together
I think it's a stupid thing to get mad over, am i wrong though?

>>9298420
It took me a year of forcing myself to eat small portions at regular intervals early in the day before I stopped having acid reflux all the time and got a bit of my appetite back. It was two years before I was able to stand having a large meal or an empty stomach, and stopped having mild anxiety make me vomit. I didn't get back into a healthy weight range for three years, and I was in my early twenties by the time I considered myself fully recovered and able to mostly eat like a normal person. I still lose my appetite and forget to eat when I'm stressed or busy, and I avoid large, greasy meals out of fear of being sick again, but other than that I'm okay.

/cgl/-related part is that I got into lolita and jfash while I was in the middle of this, and ended up buying quite a lot of clothes that no longer fit - either Taobao/indie stuff that was custom-made to my measurements, or Japanese and Western brand stuff that wouldn't fit someone of my height unless they were underweight. I'm in the process of selling off and giving away the last of them now. Feels like a lot of wasted years and a lot of wasted money.

>>9298387
it's ok travis, you did and are doing your best so don't feel bad

>>9298422
>"too quiet" during sex
tfw no japanese gf to make maiming noises because all other ethnicities are 2quiet4sex.
I feel bad for your boyfriend.

>>9298423
Also forgot to mention, the reason I bring up lactose intolerance as a possible cause (obviously there are a ton of things that your mysterious symptoms could be caused by and I'm not a doctor) is that you said you started feeling sick at puberty, which is around about the age lactase enzyme production drops off in people without lactose tolerance genes. Even people who are lactose intolerant in adulthood can usually digest lactose as a kid, as babies evolved to survive on milk, but your ability to tolerate it drops off as you age.

Also IDK if this is true but my GP told me that lactose intolerance doesn't get picked up on medical tests as they can only test for allergies, not intolerances (since your body is likely still producing a small amount of lactase, just way less than it should), so the only way to see if you have it is to try cutting stuff out and reintroducing it. I'm fairly confident I'm not misdiagnosing myself or having placebo effect issues, since I have eaten stuff in the past that I didn't know had milk in, and then ended up really sick.

I was also slim to start with and never intended to lose weight, it's patronising how people assume that. When I was trying to get into a system of eating more regularly (living away from home), I started syncing up my mealtimes to my flatmate and taking it in turns to cook for each other.

>>9298422
It's not something to react that badly over but you making noise during sex does tell him that you like or dislike what he's doing that way he can do it more or stop it to suit you

By you being quite (even though its not your fault) he may not have any idea what to continue or if something is hurting you, Perhaps just talk it out with him?

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Why does this hobby attract so many SJWs?

I just want to have a nice tea without hearing an obesey preach about how she does this to "escape" from evil males.

thank you everyone who responded! it was actually very encouraging to hear from people who have had similar problems, and you've given me a lot to think about. also i apologize for the huge post. not responding to everyone because this got long enough already, whoops.

>>9298238
to answer your questions, i do have problems with pain, in my mid back, but they started after a fall, not concurrently with the nausea. i haven't had an MRI to confirm, but the last doctor i saw is fairly certain it's a herniated disk. unfortunately my health insurance
is with an HMO so it's extremely hard to get any non standard testing done, let alone get referred to a specialist. if nothing else works i'm going to try to get referred to a gastro though! and i'm not planning on going on a fodmap diet unless prescribed, i agree it probably wouldn't be good for me to do an elimination diet right now.

>>9298250
i hadn't thought about that, i'll look into this! i do find it easier to consume things in liquid form rather than eating, so those supplements may be a good idea.

>>9298419
>>9298420
>>9298423
>>9298432
that definitely sounds very similar to what i'm going through, i'm so sorry this happened to you too anon. lactose intolerance hasn't been bought up by any of my doctors, but now that i think about it i do drink milk every day in my coffee. even if i don't eat anything else, i will always have a cup or two of coffee in the morning. other than that i don't eat much dairy, occasionally some hard cheese. i'm going to buy some coconut milk or something for my coffee instead and cut out dairy for a couple weeks, hopefully this makes a difference.

>>9298408
What a bunch of jealous failed normies.

There is a reason why envy is a sin, it turns people into vicious cunts.

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>beautiful girl has a con crush on me

Holy shit, what do I do??!!!!!

>>9298614
If it does help I hope it turns out well for you anon, in hindsight it's really fucked-up how badly I messed my body up just from not realising I had an intolerance. I probably went into too much detail but I hope it helps you out. I'd never really talked to anyone outside my family about it before, since it's a bit gross and I'm always scared telling the truth about why I was so thin back then sounds like I'm making stuff up to hide an ED. It was milk in coffee/tea that was affecting me too - I was having an average of six cups a day, every day, regardless of what I ate. Shops sell lactose-free milk now and that's really great for things like tea where substitute milks affect the taste too much, so I just have that and very mature cheese and no other dairy. I hear Americans recommending Lactaid a lot but it's pretty expensive compared to just changing your diet so I've never tried it.

It sounds like you do have sickness related to being stressed as well, but it's a lot easier to sort that out once you've cleared up nausea from physical causes.

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>severely depressed and often suicidal because of mental illness
>no motivation in life whatsoever
>only leaves the house about once a week
>haven't had a real job in half a year
>applied for this half time job at a fashion store
>I get it and get to do one "test day"
>everything goes well and we're going to talk about when I'm available next
>gets email two weeks later saying they won't need more people until the spring/summer
>thinking of killing myself
>goes to the mental ward for two weeks
>get out, visits friend at his super awesome job
>they ask me to leave my portfolio
>I get really excited and leave my portfolio a few days later
>makes collages and save so many pictures of cute larme-ish office wear, daydream about buying stuff and dressing up for work
>haven't heard anything from friend about the job
>can't stop daydreaming about parallel universe larme me
>gets slammed back to reality and starts crying every time I think of it
>feel even worse

tl:dr; I'm a mess, can't stop daydreaming about being kawaii, and everything sucks

>>9298432
Can confirm it's impossible to test lactose intolerance (not allergy, which is different) on blood tests. You can look for low lactase on small bowel biopsy but it's not really worth getting a gastroscopy for. You can have low levels without symptoms and normal levels with bad symptoms as well so it wouldn't even necessarily give you the answer.
A strict 2 week elimination getting rid of all lactose in your diet and then reintroduction with symptom diary while both being on and off lactose is much more helpful. I strongly recommend the symptom diary so you can definitely tell if anything changes (e.g. how nauseous you feel, whether you throw up, how long it lasts, what you ate). Many people cut out stuff then keep cutting more things out because they think they feel a little bit better, and given you're struggling with maintaining a healthy weight anyway having a restricted diet isn't really helpful unless it improves your symptoms.

>>9298696
I gave up on having an art job ages ago.

I bought a new sketchbook today because it was on sale, but what's the point? I'll never use it.

>>9298699
Derp meant to direct it at >>9298614 as well. Your plan to replace milk with other stuff is sensible as rather than not eating, you're just substituting. Beware of milk solids in other things, if you're very sensitive to lactose they can set you off too.

>>9296218
I knew this feel last year. Fuck 'em. I'm going to make a new cosplay in 2017 and go to a convention and have fun

>>9298701
I'm actually a web/3D designer, I can't draw for shit.
But fill that sketchbook Anon, I know you can do it. It might not give you a job, but I'm sure there are tons of people who would love to see your art.

>>9298699
I have a lactose allergy confirmed by testing, and according to the doctor I really need to stop ingesting milk products. I agree they give me some severe symptoms (skin ulcers, general lethargy, and the diarrhea), but apparently allergy can cause actual damage to the digestive system if you keep eating it?

I still don't quite understand the difference between a lactose allergy versus lactose intolerance. I thought they were the same thing.

>>9298696
I know how this is. I was selected for a job I want really badly like 2 weeks ago but they have to do a thorough background check on me before actually hiring me and it's taking forever for them to get back to me (partially due to the holidays I'm sure but still) and even though my history is clean and all my past jobs loved me I'm sooooo stressed theyll find a reason not to hire me anyway. I just want to start the next chapter of my life. I'll be relocating if I get it and I just want to start decorating and furnishing a new apartment and get rid of all my old stuff and start fresh.

>>9298724
Lactose allergy is when your body has an inflammatory response to the lactose molecules and directs the immune system against them. This inflammation if chronic can cause major damage to your gut lining and eventually lead to GI bleeds, infections, IBS, etc.

Lactose intolerance is when your body cannot make enough of the enzyme lactase to break down lactose into glucose and galactose which your body can absorb. So bacteria in your gut end up having an abundance of lactose to eat and a by product of their metabolism is gas which causes bloating and discomfort depending on how severe your case is.

>>9298742
Well fuck. That actually makes total sense. My doctor was more concerned with some of the other test results and glossed over the allergy thing. All he said was, 'You did test for a milk allergy so you should probably avoid such foods,' and then jumped to the other problem. I thought all people who were lactose intolerant experienced the same things I did so I didn't think it was a big deal. I thought it was the same thing.

>>9298745
Yeah allergy is definitely more serious. It can also lead to cancer later in life. Though it's also bad for lactose intolerant people to ignore their intolerance because bloating and diarrhea can also irritate the gut. They have easy outs with lactase pills though.

To stay on topic,
>trying to buy a LUSH hot oil treatment
>using work computer during break
>payment won't go through because of firewall crap
>idk how to feel because I guess I just saved money

>>9298701
I used to draw and always wish I'd kept at it. Practising daily and drawing things you see will improve your skills and help to build a portfolio, and I think it's worth doing even if you can't get an art job.

I only do shitty biro doodles now and I always wonder what I'd be like if I hadn't given up art five years ago. Keep trying, anon.

>>9298751
It does help to practice everyday. I've been really practicing with anatomy and proper proportions and I've seen a huge improvement in merely a year. I'm not even drawing everyday either. (Some may laugh about /ic/'s 'Loomis', but sincerely I've never in my life been directed to study proportions. I just kind of doodled as a hobby.)

I couldn't imagine giving up art for 5 years. I've definitely gone up to a year without drawing, but never 5.

>>9298751
I used to draw a lot and wish I hadn't wasted my life with it.

You were smart to give up. I wish I was smart.

I'm tired of getting hit on at cons. If I get another 5 foot nothing dwarf sheepishly commenting on my character and bringing up if I'm "free later" I'll have my bf pick them up and throw them.

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>>9298781

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>See cute characters
>Get excited
>Add to to-do list
>Realize there's too many costumes for the amount of free-time I have
>Cry
>repeat
Damn you Japan for making such well-designed characters

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>>9298776
I was doing caricatures at a school fair last year and a kid asked me if I had advice for him, an aspiring artist.

I wish I'd told him "Stop. Do something else." I could have saved him from a shitty life.

>>9298781
Sorry I have to try. Plus it makes fapping to NTR so much better because there's the actual rejection for deeper cuts.

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Santa came!!!

All of my cosplay friends make fun of me for being the most flat-chested of our group (I'm not even DFC or anything, very average bust for someone my size) and any time I mention that I'm thinking of cosplaying a character with even a minor amount of cleavage, they say I'd be better off leaving the boobs to someone else.

It takes everything I have not to tell them boobs don't count when you're just fucking fat. Somehow it's okay for them to make fun of my body, but if I were to point out "hurr you don't want to look like the obese version, better leave that character to a skinny person", they'd freak the fuck out.

I know I shouldn't care, but I'm salty. Especially because we're in our mid-twenties, who still talks like this?

>>9298776
Same. I went to school to study animation, I fought to get into the major but once I graduated I realized in the end I disliked drawing. Could have studied something else that had better job prospects too. Wasted 6 years of my life.

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I've never had to worry about my weight until now and the sad thing is if it wasn't for wanting to look like a skinny anime bitch for cosplay i wouldn't even care
I've been annoyingly checking the calories on everything and eating salads. i fucking hate salads. at least i have motivation but after the con ends i know i'll go inhaling crates of mac and cheese triple cheese again

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>>9298882
I wasted ten. Five in art school, five struggling to make something of myself while working a shitty dayjob.

Now I have to find something new to do with my life, so I guess I'm still wasting time.

Fucking kill me. End my flabby, untalented life.

>making Christmas cards for my comm
>alone on Christmas so nothing else to do
>sick to my stomach because of intrusive memories
>used to visit grandparents as a child with my family every Christmas
>one relative would molest me every time
>have always felt dread and nausea around Christmas
>been years since I broke contact with my insane family
>still have pseudo-PTSD cringe-inducing intrusive memories this time of year
>trying to make cute Christmas cards for my comm
>they are all spending time with their families
>I am trying not to touch the stickers I put in their cards in "inappropriate" places
>tfw so fucked up this time of year I project victimhood onto fucking stickers
>tfw I am AVOIDING EYE CONTACT with PIECES OF SHINY PAPER

My brain is dumb and it's time for eggnog

>>9298903
Holy... anon, I wish I knew what to say and I wish I could help. This comment probably doesn't help at all but I hope you're okay and I hope this time of year gets better for you.

>>9298872
LOL DO IT FUCK THOSE FAT FUCKS WATCH THE WORLD BURN

Anyone else wish you got nothing for Christmas instead of shitty gifts?

Please tell me I'm not the only one who talks to my boobs?
My friend gave me a really weird look when I told her.
I feel kinda outcast now...

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>get into /cgl/'s Secret Santa
>send out multiple gifts and have the best time shopping for anons
>get my own gifts
>excited opening them
>get good gifts
>feel nothing from it
>volunteer to send out extra gifts, feel excited
>still waiting on last gift to get to me and a card
>feel nothing

I get the same way about Taobao shopping now. I spend weeks or even months planning an order and I'm so excited but after everything gets here I just put it away and don't do anything with it. I bought a bunch of merch for a series I love and they've sat in a box for two weeks now forgotten.

I'm already working on my Taobao order for my next convention but I'm wondering if it'll be the same where I drop all this money on amazing costumes only to feel nothing except when I'm posing for pictures or getting compliments.

I just want the happiness to last.

>>9298950
I used to get nothing but Hello Kitty and random Asian tea sets/trinkets for my birthday and Christmas because no one else knew what to buy me. Now they just give me gift cards because I told them that's what I liked.

As for family, that's a bit trickier but we've got a tradition now that we make a holiday out of traveling to a big mall together and buying our own gifts with money from Gran/Mom/Aunt/etc and then give the gifts back to them to wrap and we get them on Christmas. That way nothing sucks aside from any random stocking stuffers.

>>9298666
just relax and wait, she will get over it and forget you eventually.

>>9298872
Holy shit anon, some people do the same to me every time I pick someone with boobs.
You could point it out like you are now "You wouldn't tell a cosplayer they are too fat for a character so stop."

>>9296049
Get a load of this sperg

>>9298892
I've figured out the trick is unless you have contacts and some of knowledge of graphic design, you're better off pursuing another career with art on the side.

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Question:
why do girls struggle so much with weight problems?
As a guy you can quite easily change weight by
>eating better
>working out
Does this not work for girls?

>>9299063
Depending on height women usually have to eat way less than men to lose weight.

>>9299063
I think we have an easier time with weight because we naturally build muscle more easily. Also women naturally have more body fat than men for child birth and whatnot.

>>9299063
Because most of them "diet" by simply not eating which does not work.

>>9298950
Absolutely. I'm not ungrateful or anything, I appreciate the thought, but like, just give me money instead of some random bullshit you're not even sure I'll like or use.

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>meant to e-mail my dad a pic of the Miku cosplay I want for new year's
>accidentally sent him a picture of Miku spreading her butthole

Well shit, now we wait for the reply. Merry Christmas.

>>9299063
>http://www.humankinetics.com/excerpts/excerpts/learn-why-women-carry-more-fat-than-men

>>9299063
I see stupid bitches at the gym on their phone 24/7.
All they do is sit on a machine and text.

>>9299206
Probably also taking selfies of how they are "working out" lmao

Some of my friends are giving me shit for not coming back to our home town to celebrate someone in our group's birthday when it's a day's drive just to get there. When I held my birthday in our home town this year, only one of them drove the maybe hour max to see me; the birthday boy in question wouldn't have had to drive more than twenty minutes to drop in and see me for my birthday this year, and no one shat on him for it. And I didn't even care because I'm an adult, and if someone doesn't want to come to hang out for my birthday, it's not a big deal, I just mentioned it to illustrate the double standard going on.

We're all going to a con together and do a group cosplay in February, but they're acting cold toward me about this and sort of shrugging off my attempts to say "but we'll all get to hang out soon". It's bullshit. We're too old for this crap.

>>9299063
It does. It goes awry when either men or women expect results immediately and get frustrated when that doesn't happen, and we're probably seeing the results of that here.

>>9299201
The pictures should be switched.

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>>9299239
>>9299201
Just for you because I like your style.

>live several hours from home city
>try to make it home for major events/holidays
>none of my friends or family have ever come to visit me in the three years I've lived elsewhere
>can't afford to go back for the holidays this year
>a few of them are trying to guilt trip me for it
>spending Christmas in my apartment alone

A-at least I can dress up in lolita to make myself feel better.

Just sent Christmas wishes to my dead cos-friend. I feel so sad for her parents today.

>>9299240
Thanks, senpai. I love it.

>was looking forward to coming home and seeing family for Christmas
>been studying for exams and hadn't worn lolita in three months
>brought four coords with me to wear at home
>got flu and forgot blouse so I haven't worn anything
>comm all broke after ILD and not doing anything anyway
>family are poor, know my younger siblings don't go out much as parents can't afford it
>I live independently and have a fairly well-paid part-time job so I take them on a few days out
>costs more than expected but whatever, I can take on a few extra shifts
>then manager tells me it's been quiet over Christmas and they have lots of new people to train so I probably won't work again until mid-January
>had just sold my bell-shaped petti to a friend getting into lolita as she needed one fast and I'd was going to order a couple of new ones anyway
>look at my finances and realise I probably can't afford to replace it
>had an unusually nice time at home with no family drama, but now dreading going back to university
>loads of tension between people I'm living with because of petty arguments over chores
>the cleanest one wants to move to a bigger place in a nicer area but I can't afford to move with them
>I'm a socially anxious autist who hates mess so feel sick just thinking of having to replace friend with a stranger
>being a lolita makes it worse because I'm scared a drunk or dickish person might come in my room and take/damage my stuff

>bf and I go to a con, room with his cousin and my friend, who are dating
>I'll call them Harry (friend) and Sally (cousin)
>I have a weak bladder and get hungry often
>say so to Harry and Sally
>Sally, a light sleeper, is fine with it, Harry says no problem
>fast forward to night time
>wake up hungry, also need to pee
>get some snacks out of my bag and run to the bathroom
>get back to bed
>a few hours later, need to go again
>when I come out of the bathroom, Harry taps me on the shoulder and pulls me out of the room
>bf joins us
>both start shitting on me and calling me rude and irresponsible for rustling bags, pissing, eating and *gasp* flushing the toilet even though I explicitly told them I would do so
>Harry starts calling me names, bf doesn't step in to defend me at all and instead eggs him on because I unintentionally slighted his fragile princess of a cousin
>both act all huffy in the morning
>meanwhile Sally slept like a log, looked really happy throughout the con and told me she had a great time when we parted

It's not the cousin's fault, I'm just angry at the guys for mollycoddling her and making me the bad guy when I explicitly told them what would happen.

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>>9299062
I've been really discouraged ever since my mom told me I'm going to be working at Starbucks for the rest of my life.

I'm 27. There's still time for me to turn things around... I hope?

>>9299338
27 is a good age to get into escorting, pays a lot better than starbucks too.

so many happy feels

>parents gave me $400 cash, $15 taco bell gift card, and annual passes to the local zoo for me and my SO
>SO got me a bunch of cute things and got both of us annual passes for Busch Gardens and Sea World
>bunch of cute stuff from extended family
>SO's mom gave me a $50 ulta gift card

I am so lucky!

>>9299341
I'm not a grill. I don't want to whore myself out to old-timers.

>parents buy new tires for my car for x-mas, which was super nice

But
>get about 150$ in money from family
>parents take all of it to help to pay for the tires they bought for me as a "gift"
>basically ended up getting no other gifts because the tires were my main present
>left with tires and a billion pairs of socks

> spent a lot of money this year on presents for family, so too broke atm to buy my own gifts

Not trying to be an ungrateful brat, 'cause not having to buy tires is nice, but that money wasn't to pay for the tires.

>>9299344
Just shape up so you can get the middle aged homos instead of the oldtimers ;^)

>>9298064
I didn't realize that! The trip isn't for a few more months so I'm sure I can get things squared away before it gets close. I've just been really looking forward to it since I haven't been on a real vacation in years and I'm meeting a friend for the first time. I'm also going to be taking more classes next semester which means more stress so I'm hoping not to have a medical issue on top of it. I'm going to call tomorrow or Tuesday and see when I can schedule an appointment.

>used to be a mute due to horrible abuse
>forced myself into acting to suppress anxiety and learn to be social
>it was a horrible struggle but also a success
>befriend pretty much any social group
>... Except nobody wants to be my friend when they find out that I'm not as cool as they think and that I'm an anxious mess
>friends enter and leave my life like autumn leaves
>friends just tell me to get therapy as their advice even though I can't because if my mother found out she'd hit or disown me
>they take this as me not trying to help myself in spite of my progress
>realize that when I get too honest about my life even to close friends I just make everyone uncomfortable
>forever decide to be fake and superficial, somehow this takes all of the fun out of meets and cosplay because it leaves me feeling drained

All I've ever wanted was just one patient friend with the same interests where we can share anything with eachother and it just... Wouldn't be awkward. Like I just want things to be simple. We can talk to eachother when we're sad and then talk about new releases after, idk. I realize this is super cringey but I never thought it'd be so unrealistic. I just thought that's what a good friendship was supposed to be like

>>9299366
I don't think what your friends did is justifiable, but how do you hope one to react/say when you confide in them? I've had people in the past confide in me, and never know what to say in response.
I hope you will be able to find the friends you can trust, anon. And as a complete outsider to your situation, I don't think you should let your past define you, and have to act superficial as a result.

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>>9298734
Christ, I'm in this same hellish job-waiting situation. Back at the end of October six of us interviewed for three available internal full-time positions, and between us they let us know which of us three "were still under consideration," myself included. But soon after the interviews, HR comes back to us and it turns out that the whole place is under a hiring freeze until the new quarter starts in January. So we've been waiting over two months to learn whether we've got them or not.

The good news is that the positions are still open, and we're still the ones lined up for them but ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS A "YES YOU HAVE THE JOB" so I can start making life plans, jesus

>>9299379
They don't have to fix anything... I guess maybe just talk casually to me about it and listen. Like, don't make it seem like a big deal and make it seem like it's not super weird to have these sit-down conversations. Does that make any sense? Is that super unreasonable.. or?

>>9299366
Do you not have any childhood friends? I've found that the friends that are the most accepting and open are the friends that I've had since middle school. I'll occasionally find other people that will listen but, generally, I avoid being to open about my life or problems with new friends. Most people (especially in your twenties) seem to run at the first sign of perceived trouble. I will admit that I had a friend that constantly complained about her life and every bad thing that had ever happened to her and it drained me emotionally and we eventually had a falling out. I knew her less than a year.

Try to seek out people that seem to be friendly and, as you get to know more about them, you'll figure out who is going to be supportive and who is going to leave

>>9298105
We're only in our mid-20s and his parents don't really like me and refuse to acknowledge our relationship, so I figured proposing before we moved in together would just cause too much drama.

>>9299395
You aren't being unreasonable and that makes complete sense. You should be able to talk to your friends about shit, you should be able to turn off the persona and just be you around them. I hope you find people who want to be your friends and not just hang out with your persona

>>9299335
It's dumb of them to be THAT upset with you over something so minor, but if you KNOW you have this problem, prepare for it. Leave a ziplocked bag of unwrapped, soft snacks in the bathroom so you don't have to rustle around more than necessary, try to empty your bladder as much as possible before bed, etc. I'm sure if you were just slipping in to pee and eat something that made very little noise, flush, and be done with it, it would be way less irritating to your roomies than digging through the bags and unwrapping whatever and munching down. Just saying. I don't agree with them making it a big deal, but if you know you have habits that are annoying for other people paying to stay in your room, try to mitigate that as best you can.

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>>9299003
I got invited to a new year's party in the city where she lives. It's a four-hour drive.

I was thinking of PMing her on Twitter and inviting her to go with me.

>>9299395
It's not unreasonable. At the same time, I bailed the hell out of being too close with someone similar to what >>9299399 experienced because the person in question also drained all my energy.

In my case, it wasn't the complaining that was bothersome since we all complain in some form or another - I lost my patience because they'd complain and then completely shoot down any sort of suggestion or comfort I'd offer to the point where it was clearly obvious that they were far more invested in being miserable than improving or taking any sort of action.

If you're not like that then you probably need to find better friends. If you are like that and just want someone to complain to and do nothing about whatever it is you're unhappy about, then yeah you're gonna have a harder time keeping friends.

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>want to cosplay as ramona flowers
>boyfriend who half asses all his cosplays wants to be scott with me
i'd love to cosplay with him but i feel like he would ruin mine by him being really bad and iv'e tried to give him tips on how to make his better (wearing a wig for instance) and he refuses to and dyes his hair for his last two cosplays

>tfw i know he'll just buy the shirt off amazon and wear his normal bluejeans with gross stained sneaker and dye his hair a lighter shade
>won't even try to make a prop
>tfw he will act like a dumbass the whole time

i really love him but Jesus is he a different person when it comes to cons

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>>9299576

Just make it for him. That's the only way he's gonna look any good next to you. it'll be worth it because pictures are forever. If you are lucky and he's observant enough to realize he got more attention with a good costume he'll realize it's worth the effort to do a good job.

>finally realizing I'm being used as a wallet
>still buying lolita for my crush even though I know nothing will come of it
>probably going to end it all soon

At least I had fun at my last con

>>9298953
I talk to my boobs, my bra, my hair, everything and anything.
I guess it just depends on the conversation- Like I tell my bra 'Come on bro, don't start making me uncomfortable now' not 'oh bra your always there whenever I need support and uplifting'

>>9299619
See this? This guy will be a virgin for fucking life. I'm not even joking or exaggerating. He will literally never see a pussy unless he's changing his niece's diaper while babysitting for his little brother (who is successful with women and out on his honeymoon).

Who the FUCK buys brand for a girl they aren't even dating? How lowly of a fucking human do you have to be? How little self respect do you have? How desperate do you need to be?

This
Is
Creepy

Nobody wants to be with this dude. I don't know him but I'm sure of that. Karen probably doesn't even talk to him often. He is so desperate to talk to her than he's trying to find her posts here. Sad. All beta men just kys already. Literally just fucking die. Nobody likes you. You are all only good for free brand but nobody will be with you ever. Leave us be, we want hot guys, not you fleshlight fucking freaks.

Yes I'm salty. I post in the fucking friend finder thread and all i get are beta fuck heads treating me like a fucking goddess after I show my insta

>>9299633
Fair enough. Little brother isn't getting much of anything any time soon, though. I figured a belt around the neck would be okay, but the inground pool and cinderblocks will do.

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Just planned a cosplay meet up for new year's eve! I'm so excited. I want to end this awful year in style.

Also, I just completed my first Christmas since age 13 without jerking off.

>>9299633
Pretty sure this is a troll post to make women all seem like the type of bitches that would accept such frivolous gifts from someone who isn't their boyfriend.

>>9299619
She sounds like a cunt, she is knowingly using you. Cease all contact. Just because that girl is a bitch doesn't mean you need to kill yourself. You'll find someone, trust me. Focus on your hobbies and work/study and it will happen.

>>9299633
Uh, calm down son.

You're nothing special. And even if you are, there are girls only 1 or 2 years from being better than you (with a much better personality, too... jeez).

That said, my feels:

Being stuck with only 1900+ followers on Facebook.

I can't get any traction in getting people to follow me. I'm just a photographer, not a cosplayer, so I don't have any tits to show. Therefore, no page likes. There are transgender cosplayers with 5 times the amount of likes I have. People will literally click on man-made tits with a dick and balls attached before they follow quality photography. Shit is crazy.

>>9298903
This made me want to cry.

If you want to be friends, I'll give you my info.

>>9299352
how come your parents have access to your money?

>>9299619
as someone who has a friend that is accountable for 90% of my lolita wardrobe, i hope to god this post isn't about me

i doubt it but seeing posts like this makes me so sad because it makes me question if i'm a good enough friend in return. talk to her about it? i probably come off as really materialistic sometimes but it's usually just because i love seeing cute stuff and i'm not necessarily asking for all of it. maybe there is a miscommunication going on.

but if you're very sure and you feel as if she is demanding things from you without at least being a good friend in return, i would say to cut it off. the friendship or the gift giving, not your life. that would just be silly. she seems worth it now, but i promise you that nobody is worth dying over. nobody. unless you're in a movie situation where you have to die for your kid. then maybe die for your kid.

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>poor student who never gets presents or money from my family, I have a scholarship that's barely enough to buy food and clothes
>trying to save money to replace my 5yo and slow as fuck laptop, which is falling apart as I'm typing this, to get a cheap tv set and to be able to go to the biggest con in my country this summer with friends
>mfw I always have a bunch of unexpected expenses like when I had to buy a new cellphone because the previous one stopped working all of a sudden a month ago, right before a small con in m city
>mfw I know I'll be too depressed to not treat myself this semester, so I'll waste money in junk food and manga I won't even read like an idiot anyway
>hesitating to sell a bunch of video games and manga I don't want anymore but what's the point, I'm still irresponsible with money anyway.
>all my friends have money because their parents are rich or because they don't live in my city but in places where it's easy to find a job so their moral support makes me feel even worse
>mfw my family don't support me financially AND morally
I know I only have myself to blame except for that last one, just wanted to complain a bit.

>>9299760
The joys of living at home with your parents

>>9299777
Could your friend be classified as the "beta orbiter" type? Be honest with yourself now.

If a guy is buying you multiple lolita items unasked, especially expensive ones, he probably is crushing or pining for you, or hoping for some "more than friendship" affection down the line. Even if he denies it to you. Even if he denies it to himself.

Of course I don't know anything about your situation. He might be wanting to help you because you're poor. He might be wealthy and likes to spread his money around to his friends. (Does he buy stuff for anyone else?)

Whether you keep the frill gravy train rolling is up to you. It might be fine, or it might crush him in the long term and leave him as an actual non-ironic misogynist. You could try starting to send the new stuff back, at least the expensive ones. People in these kinds of one-sided situations always say they're worried about hurting the friendship if they try to verify the other's intentions. Is it really a friendship or is it a relationship on layaway?

>>9299576
I mean Scott is a pretty basic ass cosplay. Just buy him a wig and new jeans. If he screws that up then there is no hope

>>9299887
i wouldn't accept a bunch of expensive stuff from somebody who doesn't know my intentions or from somebody whose intentions i don't know. we had the conversation. he has a generous history with other people, so i really don't see the big issue. but people will still translate it as me taking advantage of him, or him plotting to guilt me into something into the future. good people don't do that, and some good people do exist. it's just unlikely on this board.

>>9299921
This status translated: He's buying me stuff I want, so I'm not going to say no, because he bought other people stuff they wanted too. I still think I'm a good person, even though I'm using this guy for gifts pretty obviously and shamelessly.

>>9299951
That's pretty much what I got out of it, too.

>>9296170
Did you get Travis'd?

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I love my job but it's a very un-kawaii job (warehouse) and my schedule sucks. I haven't gone to a meet in months, I have barely any time off to take to see my lolita friends and it's making me kind of depressed. The 1st of the year promises big change so I'm praying that my manager switches to a better shift and I can follow them. But if not, I'm not sure what to do. I'm not about to quit my job because I get almost free college out of it come April, and turning that opportunity down for frills is completely stupid.
Anyways, I'm rambling, I'm sorry, I needed to vent. I feel a little better already.

>>9299951
>>9299962
>>>/r9k/

>>9297859
I don't know anon all I can say is that you aren't alone in feeling that way.

>>9299777
>>9299887
I hope the post referred to is not the friend buying your wardrobe. I agree with other anon in that if they are that wealthy, they may spend money vicariously on other people. The could also be wealthy and spend ridiculous money on women they want to attract. Either way, both can be really bad. It's trying to buy either friends or love. It may be good to confront them gently about the behavior, and maybe explain it isn't a good habit. People can't be bought, so the person buying is perpetually going to end up hurting inside.

>>9299639
Why value yourself on likes? They are entirely meaningless to most people and it takes zero effort for people to give you one. Value yourself based on other better more productive metrics like customer satisfaction or the quality of your photography

>>9300044
Likes are good for the career. If you have a big following, clients feel more reassured about the reach your work will get. It makes sense: I'd hire a guy with 100,000 followers over a guy with 1000 followers. At the least, a good chunk of this guy's fans will see the work, if no one else does.

I just didn't get a sponsorship situation because I didn't have enough followers on social media. But all the average cosplayer does is throw on a shiny wig and some bra and panties, and they get all the likes in the world. Shit is trash.

>>9299815
>tl;dr Live cheap, and pick one hobby.
I've been living on my own for almost 7 years, and I've learned to live cheaply. You could settle for an old fashion TV from a thrift store. It's often 10 to 15 dollars. I never feel guilty about buying clothes because clothes is a necessity. I would think about what hobby you love the most, and invest any extra money solely into that. Don't eat out, buy junk food at the grocery store so you don't end up at the convenience store at whatever hour. Learn to make simple things! I like chicken salad (in a tub) on English muffins, very cheap. You could sell the video games and manga to immediately go buy a new laptop or computer. If you can go without games, a notebook can be bought for 100 dollars at Walmart or other stores. I've sold a lot of my old books and games for financial reasons. Don't get down on yourself or the world. Life will improve.

>>9298422
It's kind of a deal because you two should be mutually giving input during sex. It probably hurts his ego because he wants to make sure you're feeling good too, but if you're just silent it's almost as if you don't want to so it or he's hurting you or something.

Obviously you can't force yourself, you may be nervous or just not the kind of person that vocally gets into it. If that's the case, maybe try using more physical queues.

Something to take into consideration - any fight regarding sex can be somewhat serious because of how important a role it plays in how we express intimacy being one another and how it gives input as to how our partners feel about us.

>>9298696
I know this feeling, anon. I have no hopes or dreams and I've grown so apathetic towards everything. I live out everything in fantasies, but I've gotten to the point where I'm so cynical I don't even let unrealistic things happen in fantasy anymore.

I'm only alive because others would be affected by my death. I don't want to die but I don't want to live either. I can't afford meds or a psychiatrist, but even if I could they've had ill effect in the last so I feel it'd be hopeless to try that as well.

>>9300125
If it helps at all, TN and MA have very good behavioral health safety net programs. I would look to DHS to see if similar programs exist in your area. (There are many for uninsured patients.) MHA has state rankings for accessibility, so you can look at the rankings to see if it is likely in your location.
>http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/issues/ranking-states

You could at least afford a therapist through the program perhaps. I understand the problem with medication, but it helps to see a therapist and have one on call for emergencies.

>>9300061
You can play retro games and get a kindle for books. Lots of free sources on the net.

>>9300061
I've always lived cheaply so I'm already used to it, but I'm so tired of it. I'm not buying any electronics in thrift stores because I'm insanely unlucky. I always take good care of my devices and I ended up with my laptop being so fucked up it had to be repaired 3 times and my previous phone stopped working for no reason at all. I'd rather spend way more money and have an extended warranty just in case. I've seen small tv sets for 100€ or 150€, I think I will buy one of these. As for the laptop I'm not using mine to play video games so you're right, I should get a small cheap one. I only need microsoft office for college, the rest is a bonus. The only problem is the food. I'm living with my parents because I can't afford to move out and I'm not allowed to cook or my parents would threaten to kick me out because I'm using their food, and if I buy my own ingredients, it would get stolen by my family or I would be yelled at by my family because if I have enough money to buy food for myself, why am I not buying food for everyone? Which is why I buy pre-made food outside. I know it may seem weird but that's what I have to deal with everyday. It's the same for clothes and makeup, my three sisters tend to steal and damage almost everything I have so I stopped bothering.

>>9300200
I don't think getting a kindle would be a good idea because the books I read are as expensive in kindle format as they are in physical copies. At least I can resell the "real" books. I don't play retro games that much, but I mostly buy the ones I couldn't play back then on a PS2. They're pretty cheap these days it seems.

>>9299760
It was money I was given from Christmas cards, my parents don't actually have access to my accounts or anything like that.

>>9300231
Girl... Who buys kindle books? I pirate mine.

>>9299639
That was a copypasta. It gets trotted out whenever someone posts about creeping over lolitas and cosplayers.

I feel so salty and sad /cgl/.
I am salty about rich people. Like the ones who just inherit from daddy and mommy. Having a financial stability without having to do anything and spend your life in a fun way, buy things you want without worrying,... why is life so fucking unfair? I am middle class/lower middle class and i feel tired of being a poorfag, and everytime i see this rich girl from my comm post her new purchases while i have to give an arm and a leg to even hope afford a tiny weeny appartment. It makes my blood boil.
I also feel utterly salty because this girl is rich and pretty (and healthy). She is a 7/10 at 29 while i am a 4/10 at 20. I feel angry at everything and I just wanna fucking die. I was even bullied in high school for being so ugly and liking weeb shit.
I feel worthless. I'll be a wageslave forever, age and become uglier and die alone. If i ever get a bf he will grow tired of me and my ugly aging face and probably just see other better younger,cuter girls. What even is the point in living? I am shit and life is shit. I just hope i'll die somehow as soon as possible. A noble death would be cool so at least i would serve some purpose. I feel tears welling up my eyes as I write this because of how tired I am to feel like such a loser.

>>9300259
I was just replying. My point in my previous post was that whether I buy or pirate books I probably won't read them so why bother?

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I just found out that 4 years ago my grandma bought me a $50 gift certificate from AP USA for Christmas and it never showed up, but they took the money out of her account. So thanks AP USA for stealing $50 for my grandma who was trying to support my weird hobby.

>>9300285
Live your life for yourself and try to compare yourself to others as little as possible. OR become rich and successful enough to make these rich spoiled brats salty as fuck instead. I can relate, I'm with you anon!

>>9299777
It's not (at least I don't think so) and thank you for the advice. Drunk sad posting is a bad idea, but your post definitely is helping me in my sober state of mind.

>>9300285
post pic and I'll fund you anon

>go out drinking with nonlolita friend
>she tells me two of my comm members have crushes on me

I'm going to spill my sketti next meetup trying not to act like I know.

>>9300290
I should. I just feel like I am not good enough. And I am too lazy/not motivated enough this is kinda all my fault in the end lol

>>9300306
Even if you were being serious I couldnt accept because I would feel like a leech and I am too scared to even post face anyway. But that is really kind of you anon.

>>9300285
Pick a hobby that isn't so dependent on your social class then, you weenie

>>9300285
become a registered nurse and be rich
or become a nurse practitioner and be even richer

I was born poor but luckily I'm super cute and was able to secure a rich husbando

>>9300285
I'm sorry anon. The only advice I can give you is to work really hard. I used to have one of the shitties jobs at my office (poorly paid and heavy) and I had to work exhaustingly hard to get promoted. Also, keep in mind that Lolita is a luxurious hobby, so if you are struggling economically, it's best to solve your issues before thinking about spending.
Also, about the ugly thing, half of the gorgeous girls you see on the internet or on the street are ugly or average girls with amazing makeup skills, so don't get upset for it, just improve your makeup.
Hang in there, anon!

>>9300311
Stop basing your life on material possessions. I know that sounds ridiculous but once you start trying to enjoy your life and do things that make you happy instead of wondering what rich people's lives are life, you'll be better off. Work hard but don't kill yourself trying to reach some ideal status that doesn't exist.

>>9300324
>came to term with the fact that i was a dyke years ago
How old are you anon? To be really honest it sounds like you have some deep issues you need to come to terms with before exploring any further relationships and are getting in the way of you really knowing whether you're lesbian/straight/etc. If you've had shitty relationship experience all around and decide based on that, and if you continue to have shitty experiences, you may end up normalizing feeling shitty in a relationship in general. I can't really give relationship advice though; I say go get some professional counseling.

>>9295146
We are your friends, tho.
You can count on us, anon.

>>9300125
Fuck, you're just like me then.
I have a girlfriend whom I love and she would be destroyed if I died, but I just feel like a shitty girlfriend to her when I'm down, and that's most of the time. My family and siblings really count on me to make it.

We'll make it through this Anon. Please seek help, it really sucks but sometimes makes things at least durable. We will make it.

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>>9298903

You should probably get past that so you can be normal.

>>9299635

Don't kill yourself, nigger, just improve yourself.

>on vacation for the holidays
>sister is feeding my cat in the morning and night
>wake up they day after christmas
>she calls me
>someone fucking broke into my house
>"sis, take a picture of the inside of my closet"
>"it looks normal"
>"take a picture"
>she does
>my brand
>gone

>>9300467

No bueno, maybe this will help?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pXcNbYVQKs4

>>9300231
I'm not sure where you live at exactly. I live in the U.S. Have you considered explaining your situation to a hostel? It may be a better bet then your parents. I know such places are more common in Europe.

>>9300396
Is that the teacher from Malcolm in the Middle?

Anyway, fuck you.

>>9300467
I'm gonn cry 4u.

>>9300467
is your cat okay tho

>tfw when ugly but don't know shit about makeup and feel overwhelmed trying to learn and it probably wouldn't help that much anyway
>tfw keep buying lolita clothes but never wear them bc don't want to draw attention to self bc ugly
I wish there was such a thing as a wig for your face :'(

>>9300467
Who the hell would know the value of something like that though? Sounds like it was probably someone you know

>>9300648
Or a troll post.

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Went to an Xmas con, and some girl (who couldn't have been older than 14) in a Pikachu kigu started humping my friend's leg. She kept cooing "Pika pika! Chuuuu chuuuu!"

Then she asked him for $20 (he didn't give it to her) and she left.

WHERE ARE THE FUCKING PARENTS THESE DAYS??

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>>9300535

Sucks that it happened to you; it wasn't right, but stuff like that happens all the time and some people have had it worse... a lot worse. I've found that no matter what happens in life, only you are responsible for sorting it out. Dealing with the trauma makes you strong and healthy. Staring at Christmas cards and "projecting victimhood" is just kinda, well, crazy. You aren't really crazy, you just haven't dealt with it. This goes for everyone: if a negative memory from your past invokes an emotional response, then face it down and figure out a way to get that out of your past so you don't have to fish for sympy on a Taiwanese cartoon board.

Then again, hey, it's your life; feel free to milk it for as long as you want, but emotional baggage like that is really unattractive and red-flag-y... so, ya know, might want to sort it out. <3 Only love, maximum love...

(Also, I have no idea what it's from.)

>>9298903

this desu >>9300681

i'm not going to pretend to understand your sadnesses despite having experienced CSA myself, because it's different for everybody. but you sound like you need to work on yourself for your own sake because cutesy stickers shouldn't be making you feel this way. some people will hold your hand and say that it's okay to still be disturbed or unable to function, but their support is never a guarantee and that's why it's up to you to face your demons. maybe it's blunt, but you yourself seem to be aware of your issue so it only makes sense to actively pursue its resolution.

My emotional state is all over the place right now.
Not sure if I'm looking at a potential relationship or what and I don't even know if I want one right now either it's a bit of a mess. Nice fellow, there's a lot of good potential but I don't wanna get my hopes and expectations up plus I'm really starting to enjoy my general freedom.

Argh.

Proper cgl related, my itabag arrived and I'm gonna make it adorable and I'm halfway paying off one of my dream dresses. And I wore basic bitch otome for some get togethers and people were nice about it. So there's that.

Is it possible to be male and NOT be a sugar daddy?

I planned on going to magfest with five other friends, and our hotel room situation has been a clusterfuck. Now that we're (mostly) certain that everyone is going, one of the friends in the room has been treating everyone like shit and threatening suicide (shit like "I can make you guys hate me"). I had to call the cops on him last week and now I just don't want to be anywhere near him. I plan on paying for my share of the room anyway, but I really can't share a room with this guy.

>>9300467

Did you post on your social media that you were going away? because thats the fastest way to alert every fucker on your friends list that your house is empty and anything inside is all for the taking.
If I go away I dont say anything until I get back, even if I know people are home because I dont want them to be at risk.
Even if you didnt, its something to keep in mind, and for other gulls who like to post selfies at the airport before leaving their homes unattended.

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>Girlfriend wants to do super elaborate cosplays
>She can't sew at all and I'm the one always doing her costumes
>Try to involve her in the process of picking up materials, making patterns and sewing
>Every time she just gets bored and goes to play video games instead, leaving me to do all her shit
>The times when I have no time to sew or can't finish her costumes in time she gets mad and depressed, says how there's no reason to go to conventions without a costume and how she should just die because she has no cosplay
>Same if I suggest an easier costume for her
>I want to make her happy so I do her costumes anyway despite her being a whiny pissbaby, but I wish she would listen to rational talk

>>9300998
Sounds like a user.
>dump her

>>9300814
Yes.

The key is to have SOME FUCKING SELF-RESPECT.

I can see why you might be confused about this. In this day and age, that is a hard quality to come by.

>>9300639
Shes fine. I think she hid under my bed once she heard the glass broke.

>>9300648
I don't know. They didn't really get much because they couldnt open the safe. They might've just been grabbing what they could at that point.

>>9300666
I wish. Nice trips though.

>>9300895

Nah. I think my boyfriends crackhead of a brother had something to do with it.

>>9300998
dump her, holy shit
remember that the action's shes showing now in regards to stuff she wants for HERSELF is going to become worse in the future. Do you want to be 40 with someone who makes you work for all the income and sits on their ass all day complaining the house isn't clean? because that's how you'll get that. she clearly has no sense of personal responsibility and is just using you. she has no respect for you what so ever. i wouldn't be surprised if she doesn't even cheat on you.

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>>9301018
>I think my boyfriends crackhead of a brother had something to do with it.
Cunt-punt that bastard, whether he did anything or not.

>>9300814
Yes, don't buy shit for random thots.

>>9300287
AP USA, stealing from grandmas since 2010.

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is it okay to use your boobs to get ahead?
is it okay to use your boobs to get ahead if [spoiler]you bought them[/spoiler]?

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>When your step mother buys your father a licensed Indiana Jones hat for Christmas.

My father is very confused. He never wears hats. He only mentioned possibly getting a toboggan for the winter since he is now bald.

>>9301085
omg karenposters....i swear to god....

>>9301094
I have one. It's a nice hat, fits well, but I have nothing to wear it with. So it's been sitting in my closet for a couple years.

>>9301085
I thought lolita frowns on boobs and overt sexuality.

If you're talking about cosplay, well, you're a few years too late for that, bro.

>>9301104
It is a nice hat. I'm just laughing that when my father requested a winter hat for Christmas that my step mother thought, 'That means he wants an Indiana Jones hat for sure.' What's great is he has to wear it, or she'll be very sad. If you ever see a 50-some year old man in office attire with an Indiana Jones hat driving to work, you'll know who it is.

>>9300998
nobody likes a martyr

either stop doing the shit for her, stop complaining about it, or dump her

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>spend the last two years escaping from a bad friend group
>never any issues except for around cons
>decide to drop the entire group after both cons we went to this year resulted in drama
>tfw no drama or stress for the past 6-7 months

While it sucks to cut off friends I've had for so long, the weight off of my shoulders is a fucking blessing. I hope I can keep this good feel up and find some better con friends and maybe even a gf next year.

I've had lolita dresses for 2.5 years, and in that time, so many people have "grown out" of the fashion while I've barely started. I feel like a lot of the time I'd rather spend money on other things like eating out, and I feel like it's not worth it for me to wear a huge wardrobe since I feel like I can't wear the fashion every day. Because of this, I hardly feel like a real lolita.

>>9301267
I think it's more like they're binging and burning out, and you're enjoying it in moderation.

>>9301267
>so many people have "grown out" of the fashion while I've barely started
Why does that matter though? Why do you care about what other people are doing? If you feel like the fashion isn't worth it then that's fine, just move on to something else that makes you happier, nbd.

>>9301261
Good for you anon. It sucks to give up on someone, but it's almost always for the best.

Here's a related feel
>Grow a backbone over the last few years
>All of the friends that I've deemed unsalvagable due to repeatedly shitty behavior has been removed from my life
>The few friends that are mature and stable but like their occasional gossip are starting to learn that I want them to not talk to me about it
>Been drama free, free of gossip talk and feeling pretty good about life for a while now that I no longer have negative assholes in my life who constantly whine about their ~triggers and make me doubt myself about everything I do
>Everything is well, online
>Offline, some of these friends apparently still think they're welcome to hang out near myself and my friends whenever any event is on

I'm just not really that excited to go to cons anymore as I've yet to learn how to openly express my disdain and discomfort in person, but I'm still just really relieved.

>>9300681
>you

why do newfags assume anyone who responds to them is the original anon they had posted to? that anon didn't respond to anyone who posted support so why would you be so special as to get a response?

>>9301273
That makes sense

>>9301290
It's not really a big deal for me. I just don't want people to be judging me for being a rookie or immature lolita who should have gotten a bigger or more "mature" wardrobe by now.

Otherwise I'm mostly happy to be a lone lolita. But I feel like my status makes it hard to connect to anyone else in the community though.

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>>9301331

>>9301315
Speaking of which, where do you draw a line with shitty/flaky behaviour?
I have a friend who's nice to my face but whenever I try to talk to her she always says she's 'super busy'. I invite her to hang out and she's always 'working/super busy' but then I see her posting pictures of her piss-up in the local gay bar and playing drunken scrabble with middle-aged poofs. I finally unfriended her on FB, so she rang my SO and started bawling about it to him and he begged me to ring her and apologise even though I was super busy with school myself (not that she'd know what that feels like, she's an alcoholic and a dropout). All her friends are now angry at ME for being so terribly cruel, how dare I.

Actually I answered my own question, fuck her.

>>9301333
The only way any of us has any clue about each others' respective wardrobes is either through the annual wardrobe post or through coord pics.

If any of your posted coords are solid no one's gonna give two shits how big or small your wardrobe actually is.

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>>9296428
Ten years each time?
I'm surprised you where able to post seeing as you must be a ghost by now!

>>9295044
Help him society.

>>9301363
I can't say when alcoholics are involved. If they ever stop drinking and hitting up the bars vicariously, their social network starts dropping like flies. It's very troublesome for the drinker because they are well aware of this fact, and often very scared to lose the circle they call 'friends'. The bar life is very saccharin, it only takes a couple weeks of not appearing to be a 'nobody'. If you are not a drinker, she likely doesn't want to call you up because what interest would you have in activities that involve drinking? You could keep her added on social media, and perhaps just talk to her when she makes the effort. More an acquaintance then a friend.

>>9301363
>drunk
I swore to stop drinking alltogether after my second abortion. The first step was the hardest but now i don't miss it much.

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>mom telling grandma over the phone about my interest in lolita and a recent comm meet
>Very careful to make sure she knows it's not the wrong kind of Lolita
>Grandma still concerned because of the age range in my comm (16-36) even though I am 20
>Tfw grandma now thinks I joined a cult that lures girls in with the fashion so they can be taken advantage of by older women

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>leave my apartment this morning
>see the most dangerous create on the planet right outside my house
>a human male
>turn on my heel and go back inside
>cry in fear

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Making out with another girl is not gay as long as you're drunk right?

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>>9301924

Yeah, when you're thirteen and trying to impress the other boys at the party with how cool you are.

>>9301881
>walk outside
>girl comes out of her apartment
>sees me
>runs inside

oh well, I didn't need my self esteem today

>>9301924
>implying being drunk is an excuse
You're gay, Stacy.