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SOs and Jfash

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Thread replies: 191
Thread images: 21

What do your non-lolita significant others think about you wearing the fashion? Or have you never thought to ask?
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Mine respects that I have a hobby that I feel passionate about but he doesn't like it. Not in a negative way, just in a "meh" kinda way. He does help me buy stuff sometimes, like main pieces, but for the sake of getting some amusement out of the experience he always asks for a sales pitch as to why this dress over some other dress or why this dress will really add to my overall wardrobe options. He's amused at the passion a lot of girls have for Lolita; but he'll never like it.
(however, we did strike a deal; he'll drive me to meets if I turn him into a historically-grounded steam punk)
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>Tfw will never have a SO into this
>Tfw won't ever carry her bags
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>>9290506
Mine's pretty much the same. He does find some classic and gothic coords pretty but in general he's not really a fan. He still helps me buy dresses though. He's interested in steampunk but doesn't think it would suit him so sadly he hasn't let me dress him up.

Because of the unfortunate rep, I also once asked him if he's worried that someone will think he's into ageplay because of the sweeter way I dress sometimes and he said he doesn't care what people think about him, but that he'd be furious if they said anything bad to me. My heart grew three sizes, ngl.
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>>9290508
One way you can "steampunk" him is to buy a period-accurate or semi-accurate waistcoat / vest that matches the color of his suit (if he has a suit).
My bf has one suit for work, hates spending money, so I bought him one in the same colors as the suit he already has and it's enough to at least make him blend in for tea parties. He's no dandy but looks like a modest, respectable gentleman.
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The price tag freaks him out. Then again, he has an entire drawer of nothing but t-shirts, wears his jeans out to oblivion, and regularly wears his workboots when we're out and about. At least he likes polo shirts.
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My fiancé loves lolita. He thinks I look unbelievably adorable when I wear it (I wear classic and sweet). He helps me shop and has bought me stuff and encourages me to wear it.

He's the best.
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She loves looking at it but is too insecure to wear it, and doesn't like the attention. We also have different tastes, I'm very into oldschool and gothic, whereas most of what she likes is simpler, AP style college and sailor OPs and the like, a little bit of military. She also has a hard time matching clothes even with normie outfits, so I help her out with that most days. Been thinking about buying her a few simple dresses and seeing if she'll let me dress her up for meets, though.
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>>9290511
That's a good idea anon! Hopefully I can coax him into wearing at least that.
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Like most aspects of my personality, my boyfriend doesn't give a single shit and probably couldn't tell you what I wear if he was asked and I wasn't in his immediate line of view.

Soon.
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>>9290520
What's holding you back?
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>>9290525
dick too bomb
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>>9290520
>Like most aspects of my personality, my boyfriend doesn't give a single shit
Anon, you ok? I hope that soon means that's when it's ending.
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my partner has super expensive hobbies of his own, so he's definitely not one to judge for how much i spend on dresses. he thinks i look lovely in lolita and he's always happy to go out with me when i'm wearing it. he gives honest opinions on outfits/pieces, and he gives helpful concrit too. he'll lend me money to buy a dress if it comes up and i don't have the spare cash, and he's not fussed on how quickly i pay it back which is very sweet!
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>>9290525
>>9290529
Oh, yeah. We've pre-paid for a holiday in April.
It's not about the money or anything, rather not wanting to ruin the whole trip for him and the friends coming along.
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My ex hated it and made me feel bad for liking it. Kept saying that people thought that she was a pedophile for it. My current girlfriend though loves it and finds it quite beautiful when I wear it. Although she doesn't wear it her self, she thinks it's absolutely beautiful and glad to be with me when I wear it. This causes me to wear it more and feel more joy that she's soo supportive of it.
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My boufriend has his own hobbies and interests and it's perfectly fine for me. He wears only poor-fitted jeans and superhero t-shirts. I'd never drag him to meet-ups.

Sometimes he tooks my oufit photos, though.
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My last partner thought lolita stuff was cute on me but wasn't interested in participating it. I would love to have a lolita gf/ouji bf/brand buying SO of any kind etc.

>>9290507
hey there
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He calls me cute and is happy to help tie waist ties if I ask him. Basically overall supportive but generally uninvolved.
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I actually met my boyfriend through a cgl room party and he was already familiar with lolita. I befriended him and he actually gave me decent concrit when I showed him pics of my coords. He's really respectful of my passion and loves it as well. He thinks it's appealing in all sorts of ways, even though my style (toned down sweet/sweet in black colorways) isn't his preference (2010 nonOTT sweet/classic). He's starting to get into ouji himself, albeit slowly, and even has helped me buy pieces or gifted me lolita. I've never had anyone appreciate me or the way I expressed myself so much before so I really cherish him.

Lately my issue with him is his tastes though. It's been shifting to really sweet with bright colors, BTSSB frilly rocket dresses, and overlooking weird component in dresses. We used to agree on what looks good in jfashion but not anymore...
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>>9290546
my ex was similar.
he was molested as a child and would constantly freak out on me about how I was contributing to the sexualization of children.
he refused to take the time to get educated and stuck to his assumptions, even though I'm a grown ass 6ft tall woman who has never even remotely been into ageplay. the name and the frills were all he needed as proof, apparently.
it was really stressful, hell, the entire relationship was a fucking stress frenzy.

I promised myself that my next partner, whoever they are, is going to either be chill with lolita or love it as much as I do. I'll wait as long as I need to in order to find them.
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My husband is fully supportive, I wear OTT sweet and he thinks it looks cute. I also wear fairy kei and menhera and he supports that as well. He wants me to do whatever makes me happy.

He has helped me buy stuff a few times and is helping me put a room together for all my stuff.
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>>9290566
Pretty much how mine is.

We used to get into tiffs about "but it's really deep down about ageplay right?" or "oh posting more outfit pics for attention I see" or "you shop so much why so expensive" but he has calmed down and realized that I've finally found something I love and am kind of good at and he respects that. I think he does think at least some of the clothes themselves are cute/pretty but he perpetually has a judgemental stick up his ass and I have to remind him to take it out about things that are important to me.

I don't think he'd ever participate himself but I luckily have no desire to see him dressed in jfash or bring him to meetups haha. He's cute enough and could probably pull off some of the casual boy styles you see in street snaps (sporty, big baggy shirts, bright colors) but I can't picture him looking at home in ouji or aristo ever and I'm not even a fan of the styles myself.
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My boyfriend is supportive of me wearing lolita but at the start he was a little shocked to see how much I spent on clothes I wear infrequently. He has always liked dressing up in cute/fancy clothes and told me he wanted to match when I wore lolita. I finally got him his first ouji coord this year and he also went to his first meet. The only sad thing is that I'm not allowed to buy him any more main ouji pieces oh well!
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>>9290499
>holding hands

lewd
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My boyfriend loves the way I dress. We both have a mentality of the more black the better. I feel really cute when I go out with him because I feel like we match a little. We've been mistaken for brother and sister more than once and somehow that's just really cute to me? Not a fetish or anything haha. On the other hand, he hates pastel super-sweet like in the OP image ( though I kind of agree with him there ) but he's fine with say, Holy Lantern in lavender.
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My husband doesn't really care most of the time about me wearing lolita, sometimes he says I'm cute and helps me zip up back zippers if I can't do it myself.

He's kind of skeptical when I wear gyaru (amekaji (co&lu, marpleQ)) however, he once asked me why I dress in "attention-grabbing" clothes.

as if lolita isn't any more attention grabbing lol

but he has his own hobbies and i support him and let him do what he wants. we just want each other to be happy
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>>9290566

Sounds like my husband, too.
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I wear classic/gothic/otome styled in very vintage and historical ways, and my fiancé thinks it's very pretty. Even though clothes aren't his thing, he is very supportive and loves that it makes me happy.

He hasn't bought me any actual brand, mostly because he knows he's not 100% on what I'll love (and since we have shared finances I kind of appreciate not having our money spent on random things I have to pretend to like haha). he will buy me perfume, pretty decor, cute stationary, etc. because he's got a better handle on that kind of thing...

I can always count on him to factor in time to shop at vintage stores when we go out, or help me decide between two different hats when getting dressed. it's lovely and I appreciate the little things.

>mfw he has a better sense of color balance than I do, oops
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>>9290533
>>9290520
>planning to end the relationship
>not just doing it immediately

That's a shitty thing to do and you're a shitty person for doing it.
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>>9290687
I don't think it is shitty to want the guy to have a good holiday.
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my bf is really supportive, he even helps me choosing dresses and accessories. I love him so much
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Mine is like
>"Why is it so expensive and why do you need so many dresses?"
But he has accpeted this now. He even has dresses he like more than others and gives me advice on which dress to wear sometimes.
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My husband has always been supportive of jfash- We've been together almost 6 years, and that was around the time I started wearing it, so he's been with me since the beginning. I wear mostly Lolita nowadays but I started out wearing gyaru/general Harajuku streetwear. He prefers gyaru/larme to Lolita, but he doesn't mind Lolita and will buy me stuff from Angelic Pretty when he has extra money. I had a job interview for an office position recently, and he asks me "so are you gonna dress more Larme for the office then?!" I about died, it was so funny seeing him get excited about me dressing in a new style.
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>>9290533
Oh ok. It's tough when it's that sort of situation. Good luck with that, anon.

To actually add to the thread - had an ex that hated all of the fashions I liked and couldn't dress for shit himself, and another ex that loved it and was super supportive to the point of wanting to dress with me. I don't need the next bloke to be super into it but a basic mutual respect for each others' hobbies is critical.
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I used to feel really unsure about how my then-boyfriend felt about lolita, because often when I was browsing websites, messing around with my wardrobe or doing my makeup he'd hang around and make childish little jokes. Not exactly mocking me, just these dumb little comments that are supposed to be funny but aren't really. At one point I asked him about it and he admitted that he likes seeing me browse cute stuff and get dressed up, he just felt uncomfortable staring at me while I did it so he made stupid jokes to make it less awkward. I'm not sure if he understands that just made it MORE awkward, but hey.

Generally he seems to be fine with it. He doesn't really seem to care what I wear out of the house, whether it's a full lolita coord or ripped jeans and a sweatshirt. That said, I do make an effort to dress semi-appropriately for the occasion and wouldn't wear OTT anything to visit him at work, for example. He doesn't feel the need to "correct" me on my style of dress and I'm grateful for that.

He mostly wears jeans and t-shirts or knit sweaters and absolutely refuses to wear anything resembling a suit, so I'm not going to try to dress him in aristocrat or ouji or anything like that. One time he did say he'd like me to make him an outfit to match mine, but he did refer to my outfit as a "costume" at that time so I don't think he really gets it. The closest he's gotten is saying he likes steampunk, but again only as a costume for special occasions. He's shown zero interest in meetups so far.

Basically it's a "do what you want as long as it makes you happy (and doesn't drain our finances)" kind of deal. I'm perfectly fine with that. I just wish he'd learn how to tie a decent bow.
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>>9290750
>I just wish he'd learn how to tie a decent bow
the one true use for SO's in lolita...
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He doesn't really care but will give me his opinion about my coords if I ask (not just like an "oh that looks like shit" but actual critique, like "i think these tights match better" or "i think this colorway is cuter because etc."). He'll also let me dress him up in lolita if I want to, since he fits into most of my dresses and blouses and makes for a pretty good trap.
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>had SO that got me into it
>SO left
>now alone
>still wanna do it but it's not as fun
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>tfw no lolita SO

Why even live?
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My SO didn't get it at first, but I expressed how important it was to me and he had a change of tune! He thinks I look really cute (I'm a sweet lolita), buys me things when I'm obviously fawning over them, and plans to take me on lolita dates when we live together since I'm too shy to join a comm. He's just a jeans and t-shirt kinda guy so it took him a second to get used to the prices, but he makes good money and doesn't get shocked by the tags anymore.
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>>9290499

SO is pretty supportive but I can't tell them the price of anything because it gives them anxiety.
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My husband is a pretty casual office worker. He prefers jeans, tshirts, slacks, button ups, and pullovers. I don't think I'll ever get him into j fashion, but he respects my interest in it and helps give critiques. He thinks it's cute too.
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my partner is very supportive! he knows it's important to me so even though he thinks the price is a bit much he's used to it by now. we've been together almost 5 years and straight out of highschool so we've both grown a lot together. i go through a lot of phases and obsessions but lolita is one of my true passions and he gets that. he thinks i look cute in my coords but doesn't like to go out when i'm dressed up because the attention makes him uncomfortable. he deals with a lot of anxiety right now so i tend to just tone it way the heck down if i wear it with him or i'll just wear it out on my own. he is very much a band shirt and jeans kind of guy, it's only been recently that i've gotten him to wear shirts without words on the front (he likes mostly baseball tees but is getting into sweaters and button ups). for christmas he has a typical 'dad cardigan' with a collar that he'll be really cute in. so definitely not to ouji type but i wouldn't want him to be unless he was really into it!
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>>9290687
>>9290693
It really is so shitty. My ex waited nearly a month to break up with me because I have my birthday right before christmas and he waited until after new years. In those weeks I was so anxious, I could feel something was not right but he didn't want to talk about anything. He already decided he was going to end it but he didn't want to say it until after the party's because he's sooo nice. The ''happy'' memories of that time are a lie. Besides I could have used my holiday to cry about him instead of having to call in sick in january. The sooner you break up the sooner that person can move on. He loved gothic lolita tough.
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>>9290499
They think it's adorable, and I notice that they're extremely affectionate when I'm wearing it in public and we're together. When they visit I will show them new dresses I've bought. The only negative response was when he said, "I wish I could look good in that, I don't think I would look good wearing it."
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>>9290506
My boyfriend is the same way. He gets that it's something that I really like but doesn't really care for it himself. It's sort of a "you do you" thing. He has his hobbies that I'm not into. We just want to love and support each other.

I do enjoy talking about the community with him and joking around about lolita stuff with him. Like we'll point to an old couch and go, "wow, classic lolita!"
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I wear sweet / country lolita, and my boyfriend thinks it's really cute. We laugh at cgl drama and itas together, and he is overall very supportive of me in all things including this.

He's very minimalist himself (whereas I've very extravagant), he wears the same dozen jeans and t-shirts every day. But has expressed some interest in dressing better, though he has no idea what style he'd like to go for and he's awful at shopping even if he did. I might buy him some aristo pieces for him next year and see how he likes it.
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Mine actually met me through jfash and I couldn't be happier. I don't think I could ever be with someone that at the very least doesn't respect what I wear since I love this fashion so much. I dress in lolita, aristo and ouji but he only does aristocrat. He's a little interested in ouji, but doesn't like shorts too much.

We plan on twinning in aristo soon.
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>>9290899
I hear you on that, my ex waited several months to break up with me when I already felt things were wrong for a while.

At the same time, the anon in question has made it sound like the guy's not terribly observant, so maybe he won't be as affected by a delayed breakup as we were. Who knows, this sort of thing affects each person differently.
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>>9290970
Aristo's probably too far for a guy like that, why not ease him into it gently with something like interesting knitwear or sportswear? IMO cableknit sweaters, good-quality leather jackets and the like are already a step up from T-shirts and hoodies but they're not uncomfortable and won't make someone stand out so much they swear off dressing nice forever.
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>Split up with bf, he's moving out.
>I get the walk in closet to myself again.

Onwards and upwards
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>>9290899
Just because something effected you doesn't mean it's gonna effect someone else the same way. You are literally projecting.
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My fiance is a "t-shirt and jeans" kind of guy. He's really not a fan but sees that it's a hobby I love and respects it. He also supports me by giving me honest, good critique on my outfits (ex. "I think these tights go better with that dress," "no, man. You need to start over wtf is that??" Or" That accessory matches color wise but it doesn't make sense with the theme," etc). He doesn't mind me walking around in it around him (I'm classic and gothic). Though one time my friend and him decided to joke around and say I was cosplaying "lolita Elsa" when people would ask about my outfit. It was hilarious but at the same time I'll take my revenge for that.

He's bought me brand sometimes but he does balk at the prices for it like the one anon that said their SO is like "why so expensive and why do you need so many of them???"
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>>9291020
Thanks for the attempt at advice but I do actually know my boyfriend a bit.

He doesn't give a single shit about what attention he gets, or what people think of him, and if he did he probably wouldn't be dating me (a lifestyle lolita).

Plus the one time he ever had to wear a suit he picked one with tails and wore it with a top hat, gloves and a cane. He likes the aesthetic. Me buying him an aristo coat and vest is not outside his comfort range and if it was I wouldn't do it.
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My boyfriend absolutely loves it which throws me off. He loves that it's different and and tells me everytime I step out in lolita or send him pictures that I look amazing. This will be our first Christmas together and he apparently bought me brand for Christmas. It's almost scary how supportive and interested he is in the fashion, considering he isn't into japanese culture aside from an anime or two. He has super expensive taste and his style is very GQ-esque so most people don't expect him to be into it. Seriously I thank the lolita gods everyday for bringing him into my life <3
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>>9291054
Godspeed anon.
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>>9291337
Most people wouldn't appreciate it if their SO wants to break up but keeps it a secret until fucking April
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>>9290533
Are you the gull who fell for her friend while with this dude, whom you were also going on a trip with, and plan to ditch this dude for your friend after?
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My SO calls them costumes and tells me never to wear them around him. It makes me feel like shit. The only time a guy complimented me on lolita, he was too nice of s guy so came off as creepy. I don't think I'll ever have a partner supportive of it.
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>>9293458
Why are you wasting time with someone who makes you feel like shit? Please love yourself, anon.
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>>9293460
I deserve to be treated that way though desu.
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>>9293462
I doubt it. Better to be single and happy than in a relationship with some asshole who makes you feel bad about something you enjoy.
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Boyfriend doesn't like lolita but never berates me about it. If I'm showing him dresses I like he'll say "I think something like this would suit you better" and then shows me some /fa/ tier outfit; which usually isn't terrible but not something I'd pick up for myself. I just jokingly tell him if he's buying I'll wear it.
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>>9293458
man seriously fuck him. I had an ex tell me constantly I was "embarrassing" and wanted me to dress in jeans and shirt when we went out.

These assholes so obsessed with being "normal" need to be dropped.
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>>9293458
>The only time a guy complimented me on lolita, he was too nice of s guy so came off as creepy.

So it's true? Being a nice guy will just get you hated and shunned?
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>>9293644
It's kinda creepy, yea. Like gives the feeling of "what's wrong with him that he thinks I need such special treatment? I'm a piece of shit. He's weird." and generally feels like they're trying to hard and so not really likeable.

Hard to explain. There's nice and then too nice, I guess. If a guy will like buy you a fancy dinner while he's eating ramen and crackers then it's a red flag. If you're taken already and he likes you but is too nice to actually try ripping you apart from your bf then it feels really icky. Like you KNOW he likes you but he's "too nice" to actually put his needs before yours.
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>>9293644
>So it's true? Being a nice guy will just get you hated and shunned?

It's a big difference if you are just being nice or if you are "nice".
Being "nice" does refer to people that do either put their person of interest on a podest while disregarding themself as a human being ("You are my queen and I am just dirt under your shoes") or people that do nice things, not out of pure generosity but followed by disproportionate expectations such as give me a kiss for "being nice" to buy you some ice-cream f.e.

So yes, being nice in a reasonable manner while still keeping your dignity and self-respect will make you someone that people feel comfortable to be around and tend to be more likeable. Being "nice" on the other hand will make you a mere nuiscance. People find you annoying, creepy and probably even think that you are a pure asshat for doing what you are doing.

I'm talking out of personal experience and observation of a friend of mine, who is still pulling this shit.
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>>9293718
Karen? I thought you said you didn't mind me always buying you brand...

I don't expect anything in return though. Sorry. I didn't think you would feel that way. I hope you aren't mad at me.

I really do think you looked cute in Holy Lantern though. Is this why you haven't messaged me on skype since getting the package? I wanted to get something nice for you for Christmas, but i feel like im burdening you now.
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>>9293737
See this? This guy will be a virgin for fucking life. I'm not even joking or exaggerating. He will literally never see a pussy unless he's changing his niece's diaper while babysitting for his little brother (who is successful with women and out on his honeymoon).

Who the FUCK buys brand for a girl they aren't even dating? How lowly of a fucking human do you have to be? How little self respect do you have? How desperate do you need to be?

This
Is
Creepy

Nobody wants to be with this dude. I don't know him but I'm sure of that. Karen probably doesn't even talk to him often. He is so desperate to talk to her than he's trying to find her posts here. Sad. All beta men just kys already. Literally just fucking die. Nobody likes you. You are all only good for free brand but nobody will be with you ever. Leave us be, we want hot guys, not you fleshlight fucking freaks.

Yes I'm salty. I post in the fucking friend finder thread and all i get are beta fuck heads treating me like a fucking goddess after I show my insta.
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>>9293745
r u OK?
>>
>>9293747
It's a copypasta.
>>
My husband gets really into it. He requests that I wear Lolita on special occasions like dates and always dresses to match my coords when I do. And he'll buy me small things for coords fairly often, and sometimes he'll buy me my dream dresses out of the blue for surprise gifts.

He's really into historical fashion himself, so I think he uses me as an excuse to dress up and be extra gentlemanly.
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>>9291337
You're a fucking crazy bitch.

Crazy bitches gonna crazy and there's nothing anyone can do to talk them out of it.
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>>9293644
Only if you are fake nice to get sex
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>>9293395
Oh yeah, do you know most people?
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>we're both addmitted attention whores
Boyfriend loves lolita, especially sweet.
My ex always asked me to tone down outfits when we went out (which I was okay with)
But my current BF says he loves the feeling that everyone is looking at me and he's proud to be by my side when they do.
I didn't realize how much confidence this would give me until he said that.

He plays a card game professionally and I'm starting to be known as "that poofy girl who's with _____ at tournaments".
I'm not good enough to get recognised for my playing, but I'm more than proud to be associated with him at tournaments anyway.

He also helped me pay for my dream dress, and calls me his princess (which is admittedly really cheesy and cringey but I get giddy every time)
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>>9295781
>dude brings his Lolita cheerleader to YUGIOH tourneys
>All the neck beards fawn over her and lose focus

YOU'VE ACTIVATED MY TRAP CARD
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>>9295870
That's pretty great.
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>>9295870
Kek.
Thanks anon, I never considered this but it'd be hella funny if it were true
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>>9295719
It's amazing. I can almost smell your fucking crazy through this post. That's how much of a crazy fuck you are.
>>
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>>9293745
i understand that feel bud. you gotta sift through a lot of desperate horny dumbasses before you find yourself a decent friend.
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>>9290499
Mine is very supportive. He doesn't always admire the attention the style gets but he thinks the aesthetic is cute. He likes the fact that the details are intricate and there is something new to notice with every outfit. He likes to see how happy it makes me and that I make new friends all the time because of my style. More than anything, I think he likes the cost when compared to mainstream couture.
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>>9290499
My SO thinks the fashion is cute, but isn't that interested because it's not sexy. He'll usually compliment the way I look when I'm heading out to a meet, but he gets bored hearing me talk about lolita and is embarrassed to be seen out with me wearing in it. At first I thought that was no big deal, as it had taken me months to work up the courage to deal with the attention lolita gets outside of meets so I didn't want to force other people into dealing with it, but I had to sit him down and talk to him about altfashion when he sperged out at the thought of me wearing western goth on a date. He comes from a country where altfash barely exists, so as far as he's concerned they're all regarded as equally weird by the public and he'll be tainted by association.

Goth/punk/etc are widely known here, and were probably more popular among older generations than they are today, so even if you're wearing something that looks really extreme like ripped fishnets and a mohawk, the average person will see you and just think "Oh man, I haven't seen a proper punk in years!" Virtually nobody knows what lolita or decora is, so when people see you you have to deal with them running through all the possibilities in their head thinking "Is that person wearing a costume in public? Are they a street performer? Is there an event on?" or "...are they dressed like a little kid? Is this a fetish thing? Her boyfriend must be a pervert."

Overall though he's not bothered about me being a lolita and just considers it another hobby.
>>
My bf lets me do my thing, which I like a lot. The only thing is that he tries so hard to like it but it falls through and ends up a lukewarm 'oh, that's nice.' He vastly prefers something form fitting and normie - e.g. Ann Taylor, banana republic, etc.

Worst was when I tried on Antoinette Fleur and got a lukewarm answer. When I asked why he was like "it looks like a chambermaid outfit from the 19th century."
>>
My SO really likes lolita, he's big into modesty so it suits his tastes. He also thinks it really suits me too which is a big bonus, and wants to coord together.
>>
My husband doesn't care. It's not his thing really but he thinks it's cute. He buys me things on occasion. He knows it makes me happy and that's all that really matters to him.
>>
Question for lolitas with boyfriends

What hobbies does your bf have, And do they ever get in the way (financially or practically) of your relationship?


My ex was lolita and our lives were sorta incompatible. Although we did meet at a con, so it was probably just con love, idk

>why do you spend so much money on your car anon
>it's too low
>why do you have guns
>where's the cup holders
>STOP DRIVING SO FAST
>why do you have so many guns
>why do you spend so much money on tools
>you should buy this ouji outfit
>why do you dress like a "school shooter", can't you dress up a bit every once in a while

Is there hope for me?
>>
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>>9303098
You sound like a real catch.
>>
>>9293458
Ohhhh man. I have a friend whose husband is like this. He never admits to it being a fashion, he always calls it a costume. He's uncomfortable with the attention my friend's outfits receive and he doesn't want to be associated with it, going as far as refusing to go out with her when she's dressed up.

She's also into kimono (she owns a ton of vintage kimono stuff, is decent at dressing and coording) and he acts the same about that too.

That's not even the worst part - all of her inlaws are huge assholes to her about it too. They get really salty when she goes to meets and call her selfish and ask when she's going to grow out of it.

It breaks my heart because she's such a sweetheart and deserves to be happy and treated well. I mean, ok, her husband isn't a bad guy, and he has nerdy interests himself so idk why he can't relax about hers. It's not even like lolita is that much more out there than her regular outfits, as she's always dressed very modestly (long skirts and super girly etc.)
>>
I mostly wear classic lolita and my boyfriend really likes how it looks on me and he thinks the details are cute.
He's willing to discuss dresses with me and we have a very similar taste!
He does however think I spend too much money on it, and he's a poor student 50-100 dollars for a secondhand brand dress to him is already a whole lot. (I've never spent more than 100 on a dress having been in the fashion for ~2 years.) He tries not to mention it since we don't have any shared finances or anything and he doesn't buy me things.

I have good hopes of getting to dress him up for a con someday, since he's comfortable with crossplaying in frilly dresses turning him into a brolita wouldn't be too much of a change. He has the perfect figure for it too, despite being tall.
It's a shame I won't get to dress him up in aristo or something but he likes the dresses way more than the men's stuff. It's okay though, I have a thing for crossdressing boys.
>>
>>9303098
>where's the cup holders
This is legit, though.
>>
I dated someone who originally thought the fashion was cute, and even wanted to do ouji/crossdress with me in it. Problem was, he was overweight and when he found that the fashion doesn't have many options for people his size, went off about how fatphobic it was and then called ME fatphobic for wearing the fashion, since I ~supported~ it. Needless to say, that relationship didn't last much longer.

I'm jealous of those who get spouses that support the fashion and even indulge in it sometimes.
>>
>>9303098
Me and my SO are into fursuits, LARP, and cosplay on the side. there's not much we're not both into
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>>9303112

My car has cupholders but they're directly behind the shifter, so I can't operate the manual transmission because the drinks get in the way of my arm.

I'm going to mount cupholders somewhere else so people stop bitching about cupholders.
>>
My bf is basically a sugar daddy with some sort of lolita fetish (specifically watching me get dressed/undressed). He buys me new stuff on a semi-regular basis and loves taking me out in it which is a really nice 180 from guys who rolled their eyes at the idea of lolita.
>>
>>9303098
GT-S?

That's just one girl. In general you would probably need to consider how important shared interests/hobbies are to you as a whole, lolita or not. Successful couples have enough intersection to make it work but you don't have to have it 1:1.

Plus it sounds like you guys straight up had shit communication.
>>
>>9303136
Lucky, though I can't imagine getting turned on by watching us get dressed lol. Wig cap with a dress half done while trying to pull on two pettis? Not a turn on
>>
>>9303098
Any sort of relationship with disparities in hobbies, income and attitudes to finance is going to have its issues.

SO I had back in college, before we were sharing finances
>complained I spent too much money on lolita, even though I controlled my spending and otherwise lived frugally
>apparently me budgeting well enough to afford a luxury hobby is more irresponsible than him spending his entire (larger) paycheck on consumable non-essentials like take-out and alcohol
>not counting eating out, he spent 5x what I did a month on food because he wouldn't do things like cook or use a reusable water bottle

>started smoking during the relationship even though we had a no-smoking rented apartment
>wanted him to quit because that shit stinks and is really bad for you
>always said he didn't smoke that much and could quit any time he wanted and therefore I was being a controlling hypocrite because I spent more on lolita than he did on cigarettes etc.
>$300/month on cancer-causing one-time-use items
>totally the same as $350 a month on an impractical but fundamentally harmless dresses that I could sell to recoup most costs if needed

>I actually wouldn't have given a single shit if he had been spending more than me on anything that wasn't harmful to his health, even if it wasn't something I cared about
>he spent a lot on trading cards and MMO character skins previously, which I'd never complained about, but he got bored and never found another hobby to replace them with

>after a few months he quit smoking of his own volition because his stamina and lungs were fucked
>complained even more about me spending on lolita now he'd quit his "hobby"
>he still didn't manage his day-to-day finances well enough to have money over at the end of the month but apparently I was the irresponsible one???
>>
>>9303202
Should have kicked his ass to the curb the moment he started complaining about your spending imo, he had no right sticking his nose in your business when you were spending your own money responsibly.
>>
>>9303208
We worked it out in the end but it caused a lot of tension in the relationship. He was never irresponsible enough to get himself into financial difficulties, but he had no real incentive to save because he had comfortably well-off parents to lean on in the case of an emergency. Both of us were a lot more immature in college than we are now (we were 18 and 19 at the time), and in that year in particular he was basically depressed and in denial about it - lost all interest in things he used to enjoy, threw himself into work and leant on stimulants to keep himself going. He got better over time and eventually did a complete U-turn, learnt to cook and started taking turns with me to cook together, quit cigarettes and alcohol, started saving when his parents ran into financial difficulties and he realised he couldn't rely on them, and joined a bunch of clubs to find new interests and friends rather than only talking to me and old friends from high school who lived across the country.

Nowadays he doesn't say much about my lolita spending, although I know he wishes I spent slightly less on lolita. I might be making my ability to budget back then sound better than it was, since my approach was to basically spend nearly all my disposable income on lolita and never buy anything else that was a non-essential, which wasn't particularly healthy either. With stuff like groceries especially, I think the compromise was good for both of us.
>>
>Be a dude really into Lolita
>Multiple Lolita friends
>Lolita friends talk to me about new releases
>Ask me to help them window shop because they trust my tastes
>Spend hours playing games, watching videos, and chatting online
>Have crushes on most of them, they all know
>They complain that guys that hook up with them have zero common interests and ignore them unless they wanna fuck
>Literally had one say "I wouldn't mind dating you someday because I want someone I can actually enjoy spending time with, but I'm just exploring a little first."
>The only girls who are into me tend to be cute but share zero interests and bore me
>"You'll always be single if you're so picky all the time"

Is it really too picky to just want someone that you enjoy being with for more than just playing the hokey pokey with their vagina and then bouncing? Real confidence burner. Maybe I'm just too available, but I feel like a jerk if I ignore a message.

Also highly doubt I'd go out with the girl who wants me to essentially wait on standby for her to wanna settle down. I may be lonely and like her but I'd really feel like shit knowing I was just the safe side bitch for her to lasso when she's done playing cowgirl around the good ol' range.
(I say that now, but at this rate I almost feel like I don't deserve anyone remotely interesting unless they "settle" for me).

I hate that I'm stuck between either continuing the cycle of "girl into guy who has zero interests with her and just fuck" or "wait for girls who are into guys with zero interests in them to get the fucking out of their systems so they can give you a shot"

This felt like a feels thread rant. tfwno seagull GF.
>>
>>9303314

Do some of your own hobbies m8. Don't let these loLITTERS drag you around like a toy. Have some self respect.


Do your own thing, and ignore the lolitters for a while. They'll Start to like you more.
>>
>>9303098
My bf has too many expensive hobbies to count (PC gaming and updating his PC, expensive coffee and coffee equipment, counter strike skins, vaping and going thru shit tons of juice and having to always have the best mod...Not to mention the things he used to be into and wants to get into in the future.)Basically, if he's interested in it, he needs the most expensive version of it. He also has very little income to support these hobbies. So every once in awhile he'll spend money on this shit and not pay me for his share of the bills until late. Which of course leads to me not being able to spend money on my hobbies because my money goes to his share of bills. So when he tries to get on me about my expensive hobby I really can't take him seriously, because sure I spend a lot but I do it responsibly. I wouldn't mind his expensive hobbies if he had a way to pay for them that didn't screw me over...
>>
My husband thinks lolita is cute and encourages it. He comes to meets sometimes and he has fun but we usually fuck off and do whatever together afterward too. He remembers most of the lolita stuff I tell him so I know he's not just smiling and nodding to make me happy.
But we have a good relationship and share most our hobbies to some extent. If your partner hates things that are important to you it is a super bad sign guys.
>>
>>9303323

Yikes.

Date me instead anon. I pay on time.
>>
>>9290499

Lolitas are trash
>>
>>9303323
Yikes. So you are supporting this guy why?
>>
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>>9303314
You poor fuck. give yourself some distance from these girls. You're spoiling them too much with your company so they're taking you for granted. You deserve to find someone that appreciates you entirely and not because you're a unicorn of a person. Seriously a dude that likes girls and is interested in Lolita is rare.
All the guys i've ran into in the past that partake in the fashion are usually a fags. So be proud of yourself senpai and stop being those ungrateful hoes' orbiter-kun.
>>
>>9303343
>>9303327
Dumb but what bothers me more is his negative attitude about Japanese pop culture (it's unoriginal and copies America, according to him, and is just made to pander to others...He thinks Japan is a pussy for no military etc)
And he has to bring this up any time I talk about Japan. Or how he thinks everyone on cgl just wants t be Japanese or is some tumblr tard...It's like I can't talk about my interests without him interjecting the same negative opinions I've heard over and over. He's gotten better over time I guess but I've had to talk to him about it so much. At the end of the day I'm left feeling like my interests are stupid and not worthy of being talked about.

Inb4 dump him I've tried and it takes a lot out of me emotionally because he's manipulative as fuck and because I've been with him for years and years so being without him is scary. I hear "dump him" from my family all the time.
>>
>>9303535
>Inb4 dump him I've tried and it takes a lot out of me emotionally because he's manipulative as fuck and because I've been with him for years and years so being without him is scary. I hear "dump him" from my family all the time.
Anon, please dump him, and maybe look into abusive relationship dynamics.
>>
>>9303535
Dump him. Rip him off like a band-aid. Make fun of his hobbies and see if he likes it.
>>
>>9303098
There are some gulls who talked about decoden type stuff for guns, so if that wasn't a joke, you should fine them.

My bf likes computers and cooking, and I like having a nice computer to play games on, so we work pretty well together. The only thing that we have to work on is organizing all of our crap since our hobbies take up a lot of space. But neither of us get salty about it because we are making progress with getting rid of stuff from when we were students.
>>
>>9303535
Good to know there are still people who believe in American exceptionalism
>>
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>>9303535
what a fucking faggot. love yourself anon and dump him he doesnt deserve you. you should get with orbiter-kun from this thread kek. but seriously you have to take the plunge and grit your teeth through the break up. youre destroying yourself and wasting away your youth on some greasy trash can that should've stayed a lonely virgin.
>>
>>9303323
>>9303535

He's toxic. Life only gets harder as you get older, if he's already like this now it's going to get worse. I had a best friend like this who would screw me over with money not pay me back, ditch me at events, ext. and liked consuming tons of shit like cigs, coffee, booze, and clubs but would get jealous or mad about how much I could spend on clothes/makeup, cons, comics ext... It was really hard but I let her go. She was just feeding off the good nature in my heart that would justify that she was in the end a reasonable person, because I approved. Even if I didn't say anything, just being around her was approval. You have to stop being reliant. Otherwise you'll get stuck in a bad situation over and over again, even your family thinks so
>>
>>9303512
>>9303320
Thanks for the supporting words. I guess I'll try but it's just really hard for me to ignore a message and I fear contact breaking off.

I'll take a vacation next week from work and just shit my phone off.
>>
>>9303136
my bf has a fetish for peeking under my skirt, and watching me get dressed undressed. So he encourages the fashion a lot and buys me dresses
>>
>>9290499
my boyfriend thinks I look cute and supports it totally, and for my birthday got me a jsk and some new accessories
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>>9303847

Isnt that just normal sexual taste? I mean peaking under skirts and watching girls get naked isn't exactly taboo.


>tfw swimming through layers of petticoat to get to the pussi.
>>
>>9303900
Probably, he does have one very weird kink but that's not Lolita related. I can barely get through all the layers of petti no clue how he does it
>>
>>9303900
What is that gif from?
>>
my fiance loves supporting my lolita lifestyle and buys me whatever i ask for. he doesn't know much in the way of lingo or what makes a good coordinate, but i don't really expect him to. he thinks it's really cute and suits my looks and personality. in turn i'm interested in all of his hobbies, so it works out. it's nice to get the princess treatment.
>>
>>9303847
My bf is the same, except he also loves it when I wear U/OTKs and sees my thighs between the top of them and my petti. When we're alone he's always grabbing them and lifting my skirt.
>>
>>9304479
>what is reverse image search
>>
>>9303098
>STOP DRIVING SO FAST
This is legit complaint. Save the speeding and dropping clutch after a stop sign for the track or at least when you're driving alone. Have some consideration for a passenger and give them a comfortable ride. No, I don't care how good a driver you think you are.
>>
>>9303098
Guns would be probably too much for me but I come from a society where they are pretty much prohibitet. On the other hand, I love cars, especially older ones. My bf collects all kinds of cars and fixes them and a good amount of them are older ones. He likes when I dress in lolita because it matches the cars and all. We are supposed to start a car project together and he is planning to get me thag suit or whatever it's called in English that mechanics use so I can participate fully. My ex never included me even though I said it would be fun.
>>
My bf loves me wearing lolita. He says it makes me more girly and reinforces myself as an otaku. He asks me to wear lolita when going out on special occasions. When we're alone in private, he pulls down my bloomers and spanks me on the bed. It gets me into the mood to give him a bj and I make to swallow so I won't spill semen on my clothes.
>>
>>9304620
Because you're not a girl out of lolita?
>>
>>9303314
any girl or guy who admits they have something they want in front of them but say they want to "explore" or "find themselves" are just male and female sluts making excuses so they can fuck around and are not worth waiting for.
>>
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> GF cross-dressed a lot, especially before we started dating
> Tell her i'm brolita early in relationship (I don't crossdress otherwise, just wear lolita)
> Go to a few Cali meets/events with her where we both wear lolita
> Plan a cute matching ouji for her & JSK for me from R-series
> She doesn't want me to do brolita anymore
> Not liking it is one thing but ask how she'd feel if I told her not to cross-dress
> "fine"

Still keep my lolita wordrobe, she borrows from it sometimes and it hurts. I can tell she misses cross-dressing too. Now were just a couple of frustrated normies waiting to burst from our shells :^)
>>
>>9303109
Oh jesus I've got to chime in because this sounds too familiar, but I won't go on about my boyfriend's (who spends thousands on watches and computers) mother calling me a prostitute for wearing lolita again or I'll end up on BTB again.
>>
>>9304632
And why are you still with this person again? Neither of you seem happy. Break it off before you both get bitter and resentful.
>>
He's supportive of me doing what I like and listens and pays attention because he knows it makes me happy, in the same way I don't care about his hobbies but still listen to him and show him things I think he'll like. Not having your own separate hobbies and forcing your SO to join in with everything you do is weird and unhealthy.

If he ever expressed interest in dressing in any sort of J-fashion I'd be really offput, honestly. I like him because he's him, he's not a doll for dressing up. It's also (in my opinion before anyone gets mad) not manly, none of the mens j fashions look like they're for adult men, they're feminine or look like children. I'm not into that.

He does consult me on what he wears in terms of fit, colour and quality though, and almost always wears nice shirts and trousers which is nice.
>>
>>9304632
>>9304641

Agreeing with 2nd anon. The relationship isn't going to last long with something that both of you really enjoyed gone. End it and move on.
>>
While I would love a brolita boyfriend... I'm much interested in clashing tastes. Like the picture!

I'd love an alt boyfriend who supports me wearing lolita and enjoys the difference in fashion too. I like how the clash looks, and the entire aesthetic of it. Sadly, most alt boys are usually still stuck in their emo/goth phases and trying to be edgy, while also hating feminine girls and pink. It's pretty disappointing.
>>
>>9304620
Sounds like a sissy's wank material not real life t b h
>>
Male EGA here, I think lolita is fucking sexy. I wouldn't date a non-loli.
>>
>>9305106

How the fuck do you only date lolis?

I mean the community isn't even that big, if you fall out with a loli, be prepared to move atleast 2 cities away, because she will have told the other lolis about you.
>>
>>9305106
Gross.
>>
>>9304632
This doesnt sound healthy.
>>
>>9305106

>I only date lolitas
>>
>>9305261
>>9305140

Fatlitas angry because they can't date an EGA boy
>>
>>9305106
>>9305263
>finding lolita sexy
>lolis

Sounds more like an ageplay guy than an EGA guy to me.
>>
>>9305282

Why can't it be both?
>>
>>9305287
Gross.
>>
>>9305106
>Male EGA
lol gay
xD
>>
>>9305288

I don't get it.
>>
>>9290507
i feel you
>>
>>9305299
I am calling you and your ageplay fetish gross.
>>
>>9305304

I wasn't the other anon though, I was asking why can't a guy be into ageplay and also EGA at the same time.
>>
>>9305135
You know there are tons of lolita's who aren't part of a comm
>>
>>9305135
>lolis
Stop.
>>
>>9305321
it was a joke friendo, don't read so much into it lmao

still gross af tho
>>
I'm a brolita and my girlfriend doesn't like it but tolerates it. She likes a few pieces from lolita brands here and there. Still I wish I had someone more supportive sometimes. I'm glad she doesn't want to go to meets though because she has a tendency to start shit with people.
>>
>>9305450
How did you find your gf?

I've tried dating sites and most women said it was a huge turnoff or think I'm gay looking for friendship.
>>
>>9305600
Why not date another lolita?
>>
>>9305304
>>9305330
bruh you're super contradicting. don't judge a guy for his kink, and don't say it was a joke then immediately say it wasn't a joke. calm tf down would you rather he fuck actual kids or pretend kids? I pick the latter imo
>>
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>>9305669
>don't judge a guy for his kink
>>
>>9305669
Sorry I hurt your fee fees gross ageplayer-kun. Go back to your tumblr safespace, there is no kinkshaming there.

Also comparing yourself to actual paedophiles doesn't make your degenerate kink sound less gross by comparison, if anything it makes it more gross because you're comparable to actual paedophiles.
>>
>>9305669
Also, and I am going to samefagging like a moron right here, but my joke was about the guy sounding like an ageplayer vs an EGA guy. Not about whether or not being an ageplayer is gross (which it is), I don't see how I'm being "super contradicting" at all.

Maybe learn reading comprehension.
>>
>>9305700
Even Tumblr doesn't like people like that anon.
>>
Not sure if this is the right place to ask:

Is there such a thing as Lolita lingerie?
My wife is into lolita (she sticks mainly to Gothic Lolita when she dresses up) and she's mentioned she wants a new set of lingerie for our anniversary.
I don't want to just get her any old set from the local boutique, I'd like to get her something that fits her style.
>>
>>9307423
Not really. Just get some gothy thing in black or a jewel tone colour.
>>
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>>9307423
If she's a sweet lolita
>>
>>9307455
Kek
>>
>>9307423
Pay extra attention to the lace. Lolita's love lace. If the lace looks cheap or like it would be damaged easily, it's better to get something without lace tough. Perhaps something from Fifi Chachnil?
>>
>>9307479
Thanks,that looks like a good option.
>>
>>9290499
>that filename

It's just Cadney and some guy she dated from Toronto
>>
>>9304636
I'm sorry anon, cause that sounds really fucking frustrating. Esp. if your husband is close with his mother. My husband would defend me to death, so it pains me to see that the same can't be said about my friend.

>meetups are like once a month
>"hey hubby, can you or your parents watch our kid?" parents: "OH MY GOD. AGAIN? YOU ARE SO SELFISH. WHY DO YOU HO OUT ALL THE TIME, UNBELIEVABLE"
>husband doesn't say anything to defend her, just shrugs, or "well I wish you'd wear your costumes less often"

and some events are even kid friendly so it's literally less than once a month. she does all of the cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, and about 98% of the parenting. like give her a fucking break man. I could rant about this for hours.
>>
>>9307579
Guy isn't from Toronto lol but it is actually crazy viral now. I have seen ppl claim it is them, and even cosplay it..
>>
>>9307666
*go not ho, but I'm leaving it up cause as far as typos go that's pretty appropriate lmao
>>
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>>9307423
Purrfect pineapples has some cute stuff! Its made in Canada!
>>
>>9290499
>tfw want to have a lolita gf so we can be cute together
>tfw I'm a terribly jealous person when it comes to fashion and would compare my looks to her looks non-stop
Why can't I have nice things.
>>
>>9290499
I am the non-lolita SO, and here I am looking for ideas of things to buy her for her birthday coming up. I enjoy seeing her wear cute outfits, so I like that she is into fashion stuff. She seems really happy when she can feel cute, it's great.
>>
>>9290533
Don't do that.
Seriously, don't. You'll either end up ditching him during the trip (and the rest of the vacation would be insufferable for everyone included) or you'll leave him utterly confused and hurt (in a "we were having so much fun, why is she dumping me?" way). Break-up as soon as you can, than just let him have fun on this trip alone with his friends.
Unless they're your friends. In this case, just dump him and forget.
>>
>>9308828
If you do this, don't ask for your portion of the travel money back. You'll be a giant bitch if you do. Just consider it already gone and spent.
>>
>>9307423
A really nice pair of Bloomers would work
>>
>>9307423
I have sets from Lisa's Folly that fit a vintage/gothic lolita look, and I got them from a high end boutique. Go to a nice boutique, feel the fabrics and look at the construction. If it looks good and feels soft and sturdy, your wife will appreciate it.
>>
>>9305600
Why not date a lolita?
I'd kill for a brolita or ouji bf
>>
>>9308812
Are you trying to break them up?
>>
>>9305602
>>9309352
When I joined the fashion, my intention was to enjoy wearing cute clothes with others, not find a SO. I would be interested if someone asked me first. So far, that hasn't happened.
>>
>>9309455
Where do you live?
>>
>>9309356
Is that brand bad?
I mean, it's not her style, but otherwise it looks alright?
>>
>>9309461
The fabric choice is... jarring. It's vintage 50's meets etsy 'designer' and it's not appealing at all. In short, tasteless.
>>
>>9309470
Cheers, thanks.

I also noticed that the model on the left is pretty ugly.

>>9309347
Really after a full set as a big gift.

>>9309349
Can you link me to a site that sells that?
I couldn't find anyone with anything more than a robe.
>>
>>9309474
I'm >>9309470 and >>9309349.

The model on the left is very average. Not 'ugly' at all, but not entirely desirable next to someone better looking. Strong 5/10.

And I suppose it might have been a mistake to suggest Lisa's Folly. They're a Canadian brand that seems to deal directly to physical boutiques, but I always prefer them when I find them because of the quality. Agent Provocateur is a good online source if you have the dollars for it, otherwise, go to a good boutique.
>>
>>9307423
There's trashy.com that stocks several original collections. They mostly sell cheap lingerie, but they still offer their original collections. The issue is a pair of panties may cost 100 dollars. The full lingerie sets from their original lines can easily run 400 dollars or higher.

Carousel, Marie Antoinette, and Creme Chantilly fit more with sweet, Gothic would be the French Quarter, Corazon, and the Fleurette collection.
>https://trashy.com/collections/trashy-original-collections
>>
>>9309483
>>9309485
Thanks for the sites.

Money isn't an issue really, it is an anniversary present and I have a decent job.
>>
>>9309575
If money isn't an issue, you might as well spring for proper high-end lingerie instead of alt gimmicky stuff.
>>
>>9309597
Yeah, but I want it to be her style.
If I'm just going to buy it from the most expensive rack at the boutique, I may as well just get her a gift card.
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