Feels thread: Soap edition

Posted this in the last thread but nobody responded and I'm just looking for input on this:

Does anyone feel like they don't have the right face for cosplay? I'm not ugly but have a very young looking round face, which I like but I don't see on other good cosplayers. I look at amazing cosplayers and think that even with makeup I just don't have the right features or something. I'm male too and most bishounen type characters seem to have really sharp features.

I can't explain it, I'd like to know from any good cosplayers if this is a normal thing everyone gets subconscious about.

>>9176669
We just cosplay for what we have or don't whine about it. Why don't you do shotas or something instead? You don't have to do bishounen characters just because you're male.

>>9176669
pls b bf?? u wan sum fug??

>>9176669
All "good" male cosplayers also wear makeup. Makeup can change your features a lot. How do you think so many women pull off crossplay?

>>9176707

I'm not trying to whine about it, sorry if it came across that way.

It's just something I think about a lot and I wondered if it was a common thought other cosplayers had. I guess it's like a self-conscious thought you get when you look at someone who looks good wearing something and you think "They don't look anything like me so I can't wear that", almost like you can only imagine their face in it. I don't know, it's a hard thought to put into words.

>>9176712
I'm still at a pretty basic level with makeup so I haven't really unlocked its full potential yet. When I've mastered eyeliner and contouring I guess things will open up to me.

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Lately I feel like jfashion is the only thing I care about. I just can't force myself to do anything, not even the things I enjoy. I never want to draw, watch anime, read, or play games anymore. I just can't enjoy anything, so all I do is look at cute clothes all day on my computer and plan what I want to buy next. It makes my life feel so empty, like I have no reason to be alive. I just want to enjoy a good story, or practice drawing, but I can't. Everything bores me.

>tfw you walk into a closet with all of your Lolita items

I don't know I just get so warm n fuzzy n happy every single time. If I've had a long day I'll go in my closet and just stare at it and remind myself I'm cute as fuck.

>continue school
>be able to cosplay and go to cons
>not have to live with shitty roomates and their polyamory fuck up drama

tfw I can only pick 2

>>9176669
I feel this. I have a very boxy face and have to REALLY focus on my angles when taking pictures/posing. I get my angles right, I look fucking amazing. You catch me off guard, especially if I'm smiling/laughing, I look straight up retarded :/

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>>9176669
I can relate to this although maybe reversed. I like cosplaying bishounen characters but have strong cheek bones and a slight nose ridge. It actually made me self conscious a few times which is an odd feeling for me. On the other hand my friends say I do look the part so that's encouraging.

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It's so hard to make a good friend. Don't get me wrong, I have plenty of casual friends, but no one I really connect with. Pretty much every girl my age I know is either basic as fuck or a full blown sjw. I have no one to talk to about anime or video games or toys or j fashion. And I'm pretty sure my 'main friends' just use me for a free therapist. They never even ask me how I'm doing or what I'm up to. They just want to talk about their shitty boyfriends or complain about people I don't even know. At first I thought I just needed to assert myself more and try sharing my interests. I loaned this one girl my absolute favorite book months ago and she never read it. I invited this other girl to the movies and the whole time she just wanted to talk about the guy she's liked for years and how he ignores her. Every time I put myself out there it's made clear no one really cares. I don't mind listening when someone is upset or has a problem but that shouldn't be all you care to talk to me about. Every conversation I have with these girls is always so one sided and sometimes I just feel like I'm being used.

I just want to be friends with someone who likes some of the things I like and who genuinely cares about what's going on with me. A balanced friendship where we support each other equally. I literally have no one to talk about cute little things with its so frustrating.

>>9176669
Iktf bro

My nose is crooked from getting broken and not being set right

Fucks up wearing sunglasses etc

Worried it fucks up wearing anything nice too :(

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>want a qt cosplay asian bf
>friend has been trying a bunch of dating apps and reccommends me one that has "people like me"
>try app, start a profile, only put up cosplay pics up
>shockingly get loads of attention
>confidence boost
>lots of people are actually super nice, no dick pics received
>they like cosplay/anime but all are still normie type weebs
>most like basic anime thats dubbed
>no cosplayers in sight just buff manlets
>mfw getting my hopes up and thinking I could find a qt cosplay bf on a damn dating app

I don't know what I was expecting on a dating app but damn the way my friend explained it to me sounded like a good way to meet other cosplayers ;_;


How do you guys meet/go out with other cosplayers cgl?
Some people talk about meeting people at cons, but I rarely have time to talk to people with panels, merch/AA buys, and gatherings
And I've always wanted to go to those mixer panel things but I think my friends would judge me for it, and I can't sneak away from them since we always stick together at cons

>also mfw wanna go to a con alone to meet people but also don't wanna go alone to a con because going alone is not that much fun

>>9177000
I know this feel. I always get friends that I make at events and then try to connect with and meet 1 on 1 later on and then they never ask me back for a casual meet or to hangout, but they only ask me for events. It makes me feel so bad about myself to not have normal friends in the same city. The nice people I know and actually would love to hang out with are more than 2 hours away. Sigh.

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>>9177042
goddamnit posted the wrong image GODDAMNIT

>>9176669
crossdress please

>>9177042
Picky as fuck anon that's why you are alone

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>>9177047
I am when theres only the same cookie cutter type of guys on said dating app

You're right tho I am picky as fuck, how do I stop pls help

>>9177048
Just give people a change. Don't think about too much how you want your partner to be, like obsessively. It's good to know what you want but sometimes the perfect one can be a bit surprising and sometimes you will need to give it a time.

>really want to cosplay Cindy Lou Who
>5'7
>sharp, angled cheek bones
>classic lolita/otome
>feel like ageplayer in sweet
>just want to be a kawaii Christmas girl
>purest. Dislike the idea of 'alt' or 'x-over' characters

Fuck. Do I go against my belief and do a 'Teenage Cindy Lou Who'?

> dream print #1 for sale, wrong size
> dream print #2 for sale, wrong cut
> print I like for sale, but wrong cut
> wrong cut here, wrong cut there
> cut is right, color is wrong

Why can't I like these other cuts? I'd be much happier if I wasn't this picky.

>>9177051
If you follow this person's advice you need to open yourself up to the possibility that your future bf won't be as into cosplay as you, and if you ask him to do more costumes with you he might or might not feel like you're pressuring him into things he doesn't want to.

If I were you I'd join facebook groups, con forums and the like, scout out people who don't look hideous, try their powerlevel by asking how many costumes they've done in the past.

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>>9177000
This feel is the worst and I feel it strongly anon. You're not alone in feeling alone. It's hard to find RL friends who share your interests. I just want a qt girl friend to talk to about cool shit and maybe match cute jfash outfits.

>>9177143
Never settle, anon. I know it sucks but have patience, your preferred cuts and colorways will pop up eventually.

I just have been feeling like going to another side of the country and start all over again. It would work since I would have to move somewehere to study anyway but I know I would be lonely af because there are no one I know or really even a lolita comm and I'm too pussy to just go.

>>9176935
I'm in the same situation. Lolita fashion keeps me going. But I have found other things outside of it so I keep a balance of things. I go for walks almost everyday and do a bit of gardening and crafting.

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>attempting to pay off car loan this year to give myself a bigger budget for Otome
>been paying 500-800 dollars a month to get rid of this fucking thing
>four months until freedom

There is a light at the end of the tunnel gulls

I just got blood on a Moitie blouse from a cut finger. Fuck. Already spit on it (it was smears, nothing saturating the fabric) and am rinsing that section in cold water. Fuuuuuck.

>>9177042
>qt
>cosplay
>asian

Pick one.
Also we're not here to fulfill your weeb needs okay

>>9177217
Oxyclean or hydrogen peroxide my friend.

>Long time friend will not stop whiteknighting me and my friendgroup on CGL. Has been doing this for well over a year or two
>Does not understand CGL social normals
>Really obvious typing style whenever he whiteknights
>People always assume it's me selfposting
>Tell him many times to cut it out. He either insists it's no big deal or denies doing it at all
>Have shitty selfposting reputation now because my friend is a dipshit

Pretty mild feels, but it pisses me off since "friends don't post friends" is such an easy concept.

>>9176974
One and three, anon! The rest can come with time.

>>9177048
Try going on a date with people

you don't have to fuck everyone you date retard

>>9177042 please take the advice of >>9177278. people aren't always how they portray themselves online in good and bad ways, and a lot of people are open to getting into cosplay or anime more but want guidance/help.

the guy i ended up marrying didn't even mention liking anime on his dating profile, but we shared other hobbies. when we met up, i learned that he actually had decent taste in anime and was excited to meet someone to introduce him to cons and cosplay (as he had always wanted to go but never knew anyone that would accompany him).

>>9176978

That's interesting, what's a boxy face? Is it like...square?

>>9177000

I totally feel this, I really want a super good friend to go to cons with and to start a YouTube channel with, but it's hard to find someone who matches my sense of humour who isn't 1000s of miles away.

>Met my unknown, blood-related half brother through /cgl/ via some miracle
>He gives me dokis

welp

>>9177295
anon, we need more details

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I made friends with a bunch of underage fujo apprentices on an anime app who remind me of being their age and I feel embarrassed to be alive. I still want to hang out, too, but I feel like I'm getting too old to not be a loser even though I have a good job and function responsibly otherwise.

They don't even judge me for it. I just... I'm not that young anymore, even though I look younger. I'm only 22 but damn. I've failed somewhere.

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>finally get to go to a con with my best friend for the first time in years
>will probably be the last con we go to together because she's moving
>start planning things out with her
>doesn't want to book a nearby hotel and instead wants to do the 2 hour drive there and back for all three days
>is planning on bringing her baby to the con (which will be at most 2 months by then)

I'm happy that I get to go to a con with her one last time, but I'm worried this won't work out well. I might try to gently convince her to find someone to watch the baby and convince her that we can pool together for a room.

>>9177295
>>9177299

He lurks here sometimes so I'll try to give some without giving myself away.I haven't told him a large extent of this so w/e.

>both our parents were involved in affairs and worked for the same company at the same place at the same time with other facts to add onto this that just make it stranger.
>remember my dad being in an affair with a woman with the same name as his mother
>uncanny resemblance to my brother irl
>weirdly similar mindsets and hobbies

>>9177295
>>9177335
Nice try at being subtle, but you also forgot:

>Same taste in fashion/style
>At one point also from the same general area of the country
>Fairly easy to guess what the other is thinking or feels most of the time

And that's not even scratching the surface of it if you're being truthful.

>>9177340
Is this a troll? If it is it's not funny. He's in class right now so I don't think he'd be responding. Nice try.

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>first semester of college
>been in town two years and never made any local friends
>keep getting asked if I've made friends at campus
>get angrier every time I have to say no because I get asked "Well why not? I figured you'd have made at least one by now."
>see other anime fans and maybe some cosplayers in the bunch
>I comment on their tshirts/accessories but get conversation goes nowhere
>give up trying
>stop talking to people at all unless talked to first
>get more depressed every time I each lunch alone outside
>feel like I'll just burst into tears if asked why I'm not making friends again
>embarrassed being seen and hide away in less popular areas to eat
>buy a bunch of bento stuff make me feel better
>been wearing cosplay jackets and thinking about going jfashion
>get nervous thinking it'll get me negative attention or comments
>realize just now why the duck does it matter? I'm not making friends anyway.
>going to start dressing how I want and eating bento because fuck 'em
>pic related for my sad life right now
Eating outside in frills here I come.

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>>9176669
>>9176724
I'm the same as you, round face and don't know how to make it more anime-like in terms of the cheeks and chin.

Wish I could find tutorials on how to improve. I don't wanna start asking my female friends to do my trap makeup for me.

>>9177353
>I don't wanna start asking my female friends to do my trap makeup for me.

I did this desu and aside from the fact that they were super happy to help it also was really helpful to see it done in person so that I could replicate it more easily.

>>9177345
Give me a call on Skype in 15 minutes then Victoria. Though I do appreciate that you think I've been studying hard, but I already told you I got out at 11:15 TWICE yesterday.

>>9177345
>>9177367
Just fuck already

>>9177048
People change their interests and their hobbies, especially for their SO. You're fishing from a small pool because of how specific you want them to be. Getting interested in cosplay is not hard

>>9177214
Same here anon. I've been saving for school and a move. It's so tough because that's literally money I used for burando. I should focus on something more productive instead of whining and just know that I will have a bigger budget to work with

>>9177367
>>9177374

I'm ashamed

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>>9176320
>went to small private school since Kindergarden
>Never make friends
>get into anime around ninth grade, still can't relate to anyone
>Hope college will be better
>Connect with some girl I knew when we were younger, she's ambivalent towards me but she doesn't have anyone else either
>Make another friend through her, actually get along great
>Original friend starts getting more passive aggressive over time for no apparent reason, and I'm like 99% sure it wasn't jealousy
>Three of us go to Supercon, she gets there three hours earlier and then says she wants to leave after an hour
>Ragequits on us, never see her again, enjoy the rest of the con
>Later find out around the time she started distancing herself from us is also when she connected with her new college roommates on Facebook
>This is the person who was complaining about getting abandoned by her friends less than a year before
>Friend leaves to Vermont for College
>realize I'm back where I started
>Not really sure how to keep going from here

I'm wondering if I'll actually befriend anyone here at college. Not because I can't myself, but because I just can't figure how I'd find those people. I've had online friends for years that I'm extremely close with, but they're all much too far away and we're all young and poor. There's a con coming up and for the first time ever I feel no incentive to go, because I have nobody to go with.

I just noticed that a girl from my comm has been posting ddlg commentary and tags alongside pictures of her in lolita and lolita fashion tags. Stuff about hard dicks and being kawaii for her daddy.
>ick ick ick ick
She brings her greasy bf to meets too, so I feel extra gross about this. What do?

>>9176946
I can't wait until I move into a bigger place and fix myself a walk-in closet! It sounds wonderful.

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>>9177411
Don't worry anon. I have a similar background as you. I went into college with no friends and without knowing anybody there and by the end of the first semester I had a nice group of friends. If your college has some sort of student lounge that would be a good start.

The first interaction I had was somebody asking about my shirt (a DR shirt). If you see someone around with something that makes it seem like they have a similar interest, try approaching them and using that as an ice breaker.

You can do it anon.

>>9177434
>>9177411

Or you could wind up like >>9177346 and just be alone and make the best of it. No shame in being fine by yourself if you find it hard to connect.

My dog died. I don't want to even look at my lolita clothes. Everything I cared about gives me this sinking feeling & I was just starting to feel like life isn't all scary uncertainty & now just feel unanchored & whats the point & all motivation gone. Fml. All I want to do is sleep & cry.

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Still lifting and living in the mountains missed the con in Denver Because wage cucking and forgot to check the dates fuggggggg my life

>Winter is coming soon

>>9177558
I'm sorry that happened Anon. But I promise the feel about your clothes will be away in the future. Think about all the lovely memories you and your dog have and how the dresses can remaind you about them. Also, your best friend had a good life. He had you and you loved him. I can't think about anything else to say, but I feel you a bit. We were so sure our little dog's time was up but she has a while with us left. It's so sad they have to eventually leave us so early.

>>9177302
Wait until you end up having friends who are 5-10 years younger.

>>9177642
If anon is 22 and her friends are underage they're at least 5 years younger already you idiot.

>>9177642
>Be in the military
>Experience this feel all the time
>New guys are 18
>Fuggggggg I'm getting closer to 30
>Do you wanna go smoke some cigs and eat some dank food?

>>9177642

My friends are like 14-20, I'm 25 and everyone thinks I'm 15 because of how I look/act. They all know I'm not, but I dunno...I've never felt like age is a big problem, I guess it helps looking very young. The idea of being 22 and feeling that 17 is really young just seems weird to me, I don't really see a lot of difference between someone who is 17 and someone who is in their 20s, it all just merges into ambiguous young adult age. If you're a young person and you still live like a young person and don't have like a spouse or a kid or something then most of the time your lives aren't very different anyway. Millenials being screwed out of jobs and not having the money to buy houses and stuff has put pretty much everyone age 30 or so on the same playing field.

>>9177726
I kind of agree with you. I'm 25 also, and even though I have my own business and house, I still feel as lost and fucked up as I did at 18. Life is blurred together. It feels like I was still a freshman in college just yesterday. I have friends of all ages, but the youngest one is 16, so that is kind of weird.

>>9177642
>be 26
>friends in lolita comm are all 16-22, living with parents and still in school/college whereas I've graduated, have a job and have an apartment with my fiancé
>never really mentioned my age except to one girl who started treating me kind of oddly afterwards
>gonna just keep quiet about it now and let them assume whatever they want
H-hello fellow youths! How's about those meano teachers and that sucky homework amirite!?
>oh god I feel so awkward

>>9177411
Yeah... Supercon would do that to you.

>>9177726
I think it depends, I'm 19 and have friends who are 16 and 29 who I can hang out with to just fine but I also have "friends" who are 16 who I can barely interact with because they just feel so young. I think that it in this case has something to do with them being Tumblr people and really involved but not competitive cosplayers because people from those two groups always seems so young and idk, irresponsible or something like that.

>>9177781
>I think that it in this case has something to do with them being Tumblr people and really involved but not competitive cosplayers because people from those two groups always seems so young and idk, irresponsible or something like that.

Could be, then. I pretty much fall into the last category to a tee. I know it's maybe a bit taboo on 4chan but I spend so much time on tumblr, I'm def a tumblr person.

>>9177735

Yeah, nothing really changes does it? I think the idea of 'growing up' is just some social meme for people who want to desperately fit in or something. If something is supposed to happen to you at some age then I didn't get the memo, I'm just as much of a cringey weeb now as I was when I was 17, I just have more money now to actually go places and cosplay more.

And I can just be like 'LETS GET PIZZA' and just order a Pizza for everyone from the Dominos app wherever I am without having to worry about money and its goddamn pizza everywhere, I'm like the pizza god.

>>9177217
honestly anon saturating it with your spit is the best way to get your own blood out of clothing. Just spit on your fingers and then rub it in until its gone.

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>>9177840
Yeah, agreed. It's the same with more money. I moved out when I was 18 for university, and even though my parents paid for my rent and gave me a small food allowance to cover basics, I worked full time for extra food money and spending money while attending uni full time. I remember when I would have a particularly bad week, I'd go to chinatown with a shitty bootleg anime store and let myself spend like $50 of my check on garbage.

Back then, I was always the youngest person in the group, but I was one of the only ones who had a job. I used to always be the one to order pizza or buy a round of drinks, but I would be secretly crying over the money. Now it's like you said -- you just order it and whatever! Same with merch online. I used to spend DAYS planning my taobao or mandarake purchase, but now I don't think too hard about it, because I have the money. However, I also want much less shit than I used to...

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Anyone have any lolita regrets?

Mine would have to be not ordering certain dresses. However this is never a main brand piece for me, its always like smaller brand or taobao dresses that are harder to find second hand or for reasonable prices

>2 taobao dresses I wish I ordered when they were up
>Sweet Grave from RPA when it came out like what... two years ago?

>>9177384
I believe in you! I've been distracting myself from longingly looking at auctions and lace market by cross stitching and going to the gym more. Someday, we will have our pretty dresses again.

i did my first commission this last week and gave it to the client today. very nervous, afraid they won't like it. she sent me pictures of her wearing it saying that she loves it. i am so relieved

>>9177901
Congrats anon!

>Get a great job in my industry
>Company is friendly as fuck
>While no one else in the office cosplays/larps no one mocked me for it
>Kitchen full of snacks, beer fridge, and events galore
>Attend my first one today. Cocktail party in the office
>Drink a beer while standing around pretending not to be awkward for 10 minutes
>Leave in shame

God I can't fucking function in with people. Like I have people Im more familiar with there, but don't want to just latch onto them because I would hate to be that person. Stood in a group talking about having kids and houses and reminded how little I care about that.
I have the same problem at larp, where I tend to gravitate to the people I know there. Then I try to go off on my own, sperg out, and just end up sitting in the woods alone. Not that I don't enjoy the woods solo, but just fuck.

>>9177901
Thats pretty huge. That first step is the hardest. Next thing you know, you'll be selling stuff full time, riding high

>>9177335
>He lurks here sometimes so I'll try to give some without giving myself away

I think you already gave it away in the first post. I doubt anyone else has met their half brother through cgl

>Compliment a woman cosplaying something from a western comic/show/game
>Delighted, offers to take a picture with her, sometimes hugs me

>Compliment a woman cosplaying something from a japanese anime, manga or show
>They literally stammer, avoid eye-contact and speed walk away as if Im about to assault them

For what purpose

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>cosplayed for many years
>made friends, but eventually everything fell out
>years later
>went to con I haven't been to in awhile
>the people I once knew completely ignore me
>haven't been to a con since

I feel like such a failure. Cosplaying doesn't make me happy when I know it will never lead me to friendship. Why did it have to be this way?

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>>9176935
My stepdad died a couple months ago, and since then I have no passion for anything outside Lolita. My art sucks, even when I feel like doing it. I know my friends are growing tired of me always being depressed, but I don't want to burden them anymore than I have telling them I don't want to live on this planet.

I wish I had better advice like that other anon, but I totally feel this.I'm just hoping it gets better.

>>9177940
They have watched enough anime to know that men are perverts, and any confrontation by men is just because you want to fuck them.

You're not enough of a Chad to pull it off.

>>9177863
Anon I know that feeling all too well. I searched for about a year for fucking Krad Lanrete's Phantom of the Opera in black in at least medium (large would have been ideal). When it finally showed up I was broke from paying for college and couldn't afford it. My boyfriend was kind enough to buy it for me as an early birthday present though thankfully. Shit is my dream dress and I'm so happy I finally got it. It was so worth all the time I spent looking for it!

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>friend wants to learn craft I know
>she comes to learn
>she doesn't pay attention to a single fucking thing she does
>does not listen to my directions
>no measuring, no educated guesses, impulsively does things so there's no time to stop her
>she spills shit, makes a huge mess
>"wah anon it's unfair yours turned out so good and mine looks like shit"
It was so frustrating and I am never doing this shit with other people again.

>>9177726
>>9177735
>>9177857
I'm guessing you yourself still have a lot of maturing to do, because there really is a huge difference between 17 and mid twenties. A 17-year-old's brain has not properly developed yet. Certain functions like higher reasoning don't develop until someone's early twenties, which is obvious to anyone who's ever discussed serious life stuff with a 17-year-old. They think they're adults but in many respects they're still children.

>dream dress has flower and vine motif
>dream that I managed to snatch some seeds in a Y!A sale
>plant them and see them grow into a my dream dress
>wake up
>bummed

>want to start building proper lolita wardrobe
>go to get myself a job, haven't worked before due to issues with suffocating parents and some pretty heavy traumatic bullshit
>decide that because standing/physical labor is out (joint instability! whoo!) to apply at local call center.
>get the job without any difficulty
>super anxious on first day but tell myself to muscle through it for the brand. manage to survive.
>go in for second day, start crying and can't stop before I can even log in to start taking calls. No real idea why, think it might relate to the aforementioned shitty traumatic life events
>HR director decides that telemarketing is obviously a bad fit and they let me go.
>earned only 32$

I know it's not super cgl related but... Ugh. I feel terrible. I was really looking forward to building up a nice wardrobe because I would've been making a decent amount of money on top of having someone who's supporting me financially for basic needs. I can't stop thinking of all the great things I was going to be able to buy and feel like a huge wimp.

I don't even know where else to start looking for work because of my physical issues and that was just about the ONLY place that doesn't require a lot of physical labor in the area.

>>9176935
Tfw iktf

>>9178156
>Why would my ex bring me as a third wheel on his on date?

probably wasn't sure if she would show and wanted someone familiar around to soften the potential rejection.

shoulda mentioned it up front though, what a sneak

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>feeling satisfied with costume for the night
>cons on saturday, just have to attach lining to fashion fabric for bodice and hem the fucking skirt
>cool I can sleep well tonight
>marathoned Stranger Things while sewing
>now I cant fucking sleep

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>buy dream dress for cheap
>finally arrives
>full of tiny snags and two small dot-like stains
Second hand chiffon never again, I knew there was a catch!

>>9178297
It might sound like a silly way to go on about it but have you tried googling? Search for simple office jobs, or maybe even jobs that can be done from home, and see what you can find. You might come across something that suits your needs that never would have occurred to you.
I've done the same thing when I was job hunting and found plenty of options, a lot more than I thought there would be.
You can do it, anon! I believe in you!

>>9177000

Get a bf no joke

>>9178309
Why not ask for help online? I'm sure someone on reddit wouldn't mind helping

>>9177000

Rahh! This so hard! I recently broke up with my best friend of a couple years because I told her my mom had a brain tumor and a stroke, and two sentences in of trying to talk about it she changed the subject to her shitty college drama. (Which was her usual habit of behavior for anything I wanted to talk to her about honestly.) It would be so nice to find a bestie who wants to have an equal back and forth, and actually talk about fun stuff... ;;

>>9178362
I'm sorry to hear that, anon. That's tough stuff to go through. I hope everything works out for you.

>>9177000
I feel you so hard anon.
I have a lot of different hobbies and so I end up having casual friends or even just plan acquaintances for those hobbies. Even my best friend has no interest in anything I like (skincare, makeup, lolita, BJD's) aside from a minor interest in cosplay. I just want one good, close, true friend that I can talk about a lot of stuff with. It's so hard that I pretty much just gave up trying and now feel super awkward around other people.
The last time I stretched out to make a friend I thought would be good ended in complete failure. Literally every single time we talked he'd override what I had to say to make the exact same complaints about his life and relationships with people. It was absolutely agonizing.

>>9178309
What's your essay about anon? I hate to volunteer myself for ideas because I'm also super swamped with work but maybe if you post the topic a few anon will help you figure out a way to finish it quickly.

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>>9178207
As the Op of the post that sparked these responses, I kind of have to agree. I am an immature person but there are social things that some people dont pick up for a long time.

They don't seem capable of understanding why you would be uncomfortable saying suggestive things or making rude jokes to 12-14 year olds, because development is extremely varied. Some 12 year olds or even younger act thirsty as fuk while some are still quite sweet and innocent, and others are a hybrid of the two.

Weebs under 18 are always hard to talk to, even if they're nice or fairly mature, because it still isn't quite enough for them to understand what position you could put yourself in just by trying to be friends with them. People might assume you're either a perv or mentally a baby.

They aren't bad company by any means but a lot of lines have to be drawn in the sand and they still respond like younger people when you have to be firm with them about something you feel is serious.

It doesn't help that I'm pretty laid back and look kind of young for my age, easily mistaken for a 15 year old. A handful of years might seem like not much, but in childhood and teenage years even a year or a couple months could make a world of difference in understanding or behaviour. That's just how it is.

>have online business
>ship an average of 250 packages a month
>international customers opt for standard, uninsured shipping
>most countries don't update tracking
>handful of customers sperg out IMMEDIATELY
>have 100000 disclaimers about standard international shipping
>still get a paypal dispute

I keep warning people that I won't give them a refund if their package is lost/delayed, and they check the box which says they've read that they won't get a refund and also that most countries don't have tracking, but they still complain? And I've had people demand full refunds (meaning I wouldn't just lose out on the time/labor I put into the stuff but material costs, shipping supplies, shipping costs, etc). 99% of the time, I am able to convince the customer to wait a little bit longer, and the package has almost always arrived. There have been 3 times that I am aware of where it hasn't made it at all.

I still have the original receipt as well as the customs form for the package in question, so hopefully that is enough for paypal.

There's this cute girl who wears Lolita at my uni and I've been noticing she has been sitting alone at dinner many of the times I have seen her. I also noticed she was mouthing words to herself. Should i ask to sit next to her next time I see her alone at a meal?

Note that I'm a dude, I don't want to make her uncomfortable. What should I do?

>>9179132
Sounds like you need to make a notice saying due to issues with buyer complaints, you're not longer offering uninsured shipping or the slower tracking options.

>>9179255
Do it anon! At most she might tell you no and make a blog post about it on here.

>>9179255
Approach her and ask if you can sit with her, compliment her outfit/makeup/dress if you want an easy ice breaker, leave her be if she seems uncomfortable with your presence. Don't make a big deal out of what she's wearing, just treat her like you would anyone else.

>>9179267
I can imagine the blog post
>omg this fucking lanklet hipster with a manbun asked to sit next to me
>tfw no Chad bf

>>9178310
Thank you, anon. I really appreciate it. I'm looking around for stuff that I might want to do. For now, I'm doing illustration on commission again until I find something stable.

>>9178497
Sound like PCOS. I think the birth control was helping control in the first place. Hope you figure out what's wrong anon.

>>9177411
Following up on this I've feeling less down and more in despair about this whole being isolated and alone thing. Everyone told me to go to clubs and hang out in areas people frequent, but of the two clubs I have any interest in one is full of cancerous spergs who made all the decent people leave, and the second is just dudes I see once a week. And my entire dorm floor is full of sports dudebros I have nothing in common with. And of course because I've literally never had friends my parents are on my ass about the whole thing. The fact that I don't see my situation actually going anywhere is what concerns me, like I'm going to just go to class and go back to my room and nothing else every single day until I stagnate.

>>9178497
Hey anon, this sounds a lot like me and I was diagnosed with PCOS. Hope you get some answers!

>>9179438
You're boyfriend sounds like such a bro. Keep him

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>Join FB lolita community
>I have never seen so many itas

>>9179591
What course are you studying anon? Perhaps you'll meet people you can relate to in some of your classes- especially if you have sessions which involve a smaller group or are more flexible about interaction like seminars or labs. You may have less in common with them than your online friends but still meet nice people (on paper I have little in common with my uni friends other than studying the same subject, but I still had fun hanging out with them).

>>9179679
I'm only taking four courses and none of them are of any note other than drawing. I figured I would find some relatability in that but for the most part everyone seems to try and mind their own business as much as possible and it's not exactly a class where you can talk to everyone. School kinda sucked for me so I'm kinda autoinclined to believe everyone will have a negative impression of me right off the bat. I know that sounds like self-vicimization but it's just so ingrained into me by this point it's hard to get out of my system. It gives me little incentive to interact with people in my other classes so in a way I'm fucking myself over but at the same time I feel so disconnected from everyone else.

>>9177214
Thank you for giving me hope, I have two more years to pay off my siege tank of a jeep.

>chronic migraines
>hosting first meetup soon
>rainy weather this week has brought on daily migraine or migraine-related suffering
>the cognitive symptoms pre- and post-headache are often the worst part
>thoughts often scrambled, foggy, and slow, i.e.: forgetful about everything (including common words and familiar faces), logic failures, delays in simple tasks (such as disseminating meetup info)
>don't even have energy or willpower to browse /cgl/, feels too complicated
>but will not let this disease kill the meetup
>it is a rare chance to see cool people
>check weather forecast to plan coord type
>thunderstorms due the day of meetup

challenge fucking accepted motherfucker. bring on the barometric mayhem, i've been saving my abortives and i am not going down without a fight. i'll take a fucking Uber if i have to. i'll slather my whole head and shoulders with peppermint oil so thick my brand will forever smell like Christmas. i'll piggyback Tylenol and Aleve and wear my sunglasses indoors. i will enjoy one day of frilly friend adventures, no excuses.

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>>9179743
That's the spirit, anon! Also thanks for the laugh and I hope your meet goes well.

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>>9179743
Holy shit, I wish I had your determination. Hopefully you'll be okay at the meet up, though, and I'm sure you'll look absolutely adorable, even with kawaii as fuck sunglasses

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>>9176320

>have had anxiety pretty shittily for the past month or so
>cut myself off from everything fun until I get better because I hate not feeling well when I'm doing fun things
>stopped caring about my skin
>fell into a pit of health anxiety and I can't get out
>going to try to get back into anime
>weeaboo feelings resurfacing
>going to get back into odottemita
>going to start loving myself more

I'm so excited. Any recommendations for a good and cutesy anime to get me out of this funk I've been in for awhile, gulls?

I just sold my first AA-related art! It was fairly priced and totally anonymous so I can't help but let myself feel validated about it.

>>9177000
>>9177177
>>9178496
I feel like a lot of gulls are looking for something like this... but then we never show up to the cgl meetups.

>>9179976
Or they are from a different places where cgl meetups perhaps don't even exist?

>>9179976
I know there's a meet at my local con but I never show just because I don't want to be outed as a seagull in my local community.

That one friend that is always up for going to cons with you, no matter where they are, and is super fun to be around. At least there's one person that I can count on 100% when making plans for next year.

>>9179960
Tamako Market.

>>9179729
Stay the course - I believe in you!

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>Meet really cute guy from here
>Talks for hours with me
>Sperg out over fashion, cosplays, and makeup with him
>How can this guy have such good taste in fashion holy fuck
>We both buy each other cute gifts and he constantly
>Funny, sweet, smart, very cute, cares about me and shares very common niche interests and tastes
>He's taken by a girl who hardly shares any interests with him and ignores him a lot
>He has no friends so sometimes vents to me about her
>Keep holding onto hope that they break up and feel sick to my stomach for wishing it

>waiting for 11/11 to order lolita stuff
>using that as motivation to keep going despite being bored with everything outside of classes
>trying to save money for that order
>been boredly browsing ebay, aliexpress, and taobao regardless
>even just had a taobao order shipped today

School refund check doesn't get here until the end of the month so I can't do a big order but that isn't stopping me from just boredly bidding on anything out of having nothing else to do.
Being alone sucks and my online friends either aren't talking to me or aren't online due to work.

I think part of it is because usually this time of year I've got a con I need to get ready for but being a new student means I can't go unless it's on holidays because I have classes on pre-con days.

Should I just buy some little things to cheer me up or just not touch my money and save it for another two months?

>>9179960
Love Live, it also has good songs you can dance to. I liked the second season best for some reason.

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>>9180202
Oh god, similar feel but reverse.
>Meet really amazing dude
>Get along super well with him
>We talk all day
>He's into jfash and helps me pick out clothes
>Buys me a ton even though I tell him not to
>Really like him but can't tell him
>He likes me but doesn't overstep his boundaries
>I'm in a relationship that isn't particularly bad but I could potentially have a better one with new dude

Don't wanna leave my relationship but I really like this guy. I really like my boyfriend too but we don't click as well and honestly he could care less about my fashion interests.

>>9179132
Is the shipping info on your terms and conditions too? That way if a PP dispute comes in, pull up the fact that they checked the 'I have read the terms and conditions' bullshit and slap them in the face with it.

>>9180297
Yes, it's in that as well. I've been waiting on the buyer to respond since yesterday, but now I got another claim just today. In eight months of this work, two of my claims happen at the same time. The first time, paypal sided with me within minutes. A guy tried to file a claim when his tracking had marked his item as delivered. When I emailed him about it, he said some bullshit about how his gf was getting impatient so he filed a claim (but it got there that day which was within a week of purchase date even though my processing time is 7 days). He even said "you know how little girls are" to me, and I was so annoyed that I banned him.

This girl is trying to scam me, I think. I shipped her order yesterday, and just now she's saying it wasn't authorized (3 days after purchase).

>>9179976
I went to Akon last year nd saw the meetup and got so afraid that I'd look like a weirdo for bringing it up that I just bailed and hung out with my friends that thought the con was boring.

>>9179255
>>9179267
>>9179276
Well, I did it, felt like vomiting the entire time out of social anxiety. Luckily she was a bit spergy so I don't think she noticed. We had a nice little conversation that lasted for the 45ish minutes dinner took. Mathed out that she's 24, felt strange eating dinner with someone 4ish years older than me.

>>9180592
Why did her age make you feel strange?

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>Been frustrated for a few days trying to make or find fabric with the correct pattern of the character's skirt
>New PV for the movie the character is in is uploaded today
>Perfect view of the skirt
>Screenshot everything from her clothes to her hair
>Feeling pumped to do this cosplay again
Today is a good day.

>>9180592
>only 4 years older
my friends are all about 5 years older than me. its not weird unless you're a 15 year old with a 20 year old friend or something but once you hit 20 the age difference doesn't really matter when you're hanging out with people with similar interests.

>>9180611
I guess the whole only really being with young people roughly my age during highschool and at my job during my gap year made me unaccustomed to talking to a woman who isn't a teenager or a customer. I still feel very young, (and a bit like a fake adult) despite being an adult.
>>9180614
I turn 20 in a month, so I guess I should get used to talking to other 20 somethings. Jesus how do I turn 20 in a month? I still feel like I belong in highschool despite graduating over a year ago.

>>9180643
If it's any consolation, you're not alone. I'm nearly 26 and I feel like a "fake adult" too. Most of my friends are about my age or older and we get along well but I still feel like I'm too young to be 26, if you know what I mean.

>>9179976
I don't go to them because it's always a bunch of neckbeards

>>9180643
>I still feel like I belong in highschool despite graduating over a year ago.

the older you get, the quicker time goes by. I feel like highschool was only 2 years ago but I'm 24.

it gets a lot less weird when you realize adults arent some sort of grand mature beings but rather just like you and fumbling to get their life together. I still avoid anyone who is 40+ though

I wish I weren't such an anxious mess when it comes to socializing. I just want some weeby friends to go to cons with and wear cosplay and lolita, but I'm too fucking shy and awkward and spergy and just assume everyone dislikes me, so I never can make myself speak up and don't even try. And I'm afraid I'm too old to learn better.

>>9179475
>>9179613
my gynecologist thought of that, but said that it probably isn't it because my periods are pretty normal. they also thought it might be thyroid or diabetes but those tests came back normal too. Here's hoping I find out soon!

>>9180826
Adrenals maybe? Especially if your cortisol is a bit weird.

>>9180655
My counselor is in her sixties and when I brought this up to her she literally told me "I still feel like that."

it never really goes away, sadly.

>>9177866
She knows you're a lesbian, but does she know you like her? That's the real question.

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>>9178309
Where do you guys all find these lolita comms and meetups? All the sites I visit are dead....I want to make friends.

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>Be at work, home, or whatever
>Trying to have a conversation
>Always have people speaking over me

I'm not even that shy or quiet, but lately I've just lost the will to speak because everyone around me just talks over me or interrupts me. I feel as if nothing I say has significance. I've even begun talking to people with a stutter and I don't know how to deal.

>>9180861
They've migrated to Facebook

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>>9180427
>Little Tokyo
>every anime convention under the sun
>all screenings of anime films go there by default
>moving away from all of that
Yeah, bad idea

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>increasingly difficult, monotonous life leaves little time for hobbies, which no longer seem magical/fun to begin with; closest friends have changed drastically for the worse, and I'm stuck in the past, forced to acknowledge that the brightest parts of my life have gone
>have been selling off as much stuff as possible to collect money to give back to family and also as a sort of delaying mechanism to see if maybe I'll stop wanting to die in that time
>no difference in feeling after 11 months
>mom notices me selling off lolita, cosplay, and merch and asks, "Aww anon, why are you selling everything? I liked this dress on you."
>pang of sadness thinking about the pain I'll cause my family and how much cons, jfashion, and weeby life in general have shaped me and once gave me so much joy
>no turning back now since nearly all of my stuff is gone (only 2 main pieces left to sell), and I've planned things out in any case

I know it's kinda weird to bring this up in an anonymous board of all places, but I hate when people constantly tell others they know about wanting to die. Call my opinion awful, but if you really wanted to die, you'd do it, since sitting around troubling others about it implies you want someone to stop you.

In any case, I've learned so much from gulls about everything from outfit planning to crafting techniques, and I hope every anon here never runs out of cosplays, coords, or goals to look forward to.

>>9180888
>TFW you're too autistic to even have a Facebook

O-okay, I guess I'll just remain friendless...

I developed POTS back in February and the life adjustment is killing me. I had to duck out of lolita meets early, I can't sew anymore because it raises my heart rate to intense cardio level, even dying my friend's hair yesterday made me unable to move for five hours and left me bedbound for all of today. I have to wear old lady compression tights in a nasty beige color under my OTKs until the nice colorful ones my insurance covers arrive in a month too.

I know I shouldn't be bitching because I am certainly not the worse case and many people have it much wose, but I was extremely active before this started and on my feet all day doing things and walking everywhere.

>>9180985
It's okay, Anon, I've felt the same way. I'm saving up lots of money and have my planned expiration date for sometime next year.

>>9177042
What app was it

>>9180985
For what it's worth anon, you aren't alone in planning something like that. I'm waiting until a family member of mine is gone and then I'm going for a camping trip that I won't come back from. Gonna go out in nature.

>>9179132

Anon, I feel you so hard.

>work for online orders of a small makeup company
>old department manager is on maternity leave, I am now in charge
>over labor day weekend we get three non-expedited orders that the customers expect to be shipped out asap in spite of the weekend
>disclaimers all over the website saying that we are closed on weekends and holidays
>all three of them file credit card claims by labor day evening, even though we haven't charged them
>boss threatens to fire me for this

Some customers lose their shit when it comes to postage. If you need something by a certain time, expedite and track it! Especially internationally. And don't blame us when it's stuck in customs.

>>9179960
Servant X service
New game
Aki no kanade
Barakamon
Flying witch
Gokusen
Hanayamata
Hataraki man
Isshuukan friends
Kamichu
Kimi no todoke
Kuragehime
Nodame Cantabile
Only yesterday
Saint young men
Space brothers - i really recommend this one- It got me out of a huge depression period.
Turning girls
Golden time
Shirobako

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>been having trouble with my neck and back (but not my pussy or my crack)
>sister hasn't called in a month, may be dead
>can't muster motivation to do anything
>favorite con is in under a month
>haven't finished cosplays
>job sucks since they demoted me
>I'm bad at makeup

I just want to be kawaii at the con.

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> be me
> big regional event happens and usually people get sick
> I go but don't get sick
> my brothers caught that sick and passed it onto me
> "OKAY, I can kick this sick away. I got the flu shot for this year"
> 2 weeks later "oh yeah I'm recovering"
> the very next day get sick again from my brothers who were sick AGAIN

> two days ago did an oral presentation which finally broke my voice
> literally no way to get an extension on it because it's group work
> spent the whole 3 hours watching other students presentations and coughing/dry-retching
> got one of my group member sick

> went to a high tea today
> coughs the whole entire time
> trying to hold it back the whole day
> I'm so embarrassed

It's been a month and I just want to stop being sick. I'm always tired and hungry. My throat is always dry, and my voice broken and hoarse. I've seen the doctor to get a medical certificate because since being sick I've skipped university for the past month (officially diagnosed with the flu now). I'm so behind and have another wave of assignments due. I had to get an assignment extension for the first time ever in the four years of uni, just so I could deal with it. Also...

> con is next weekend
> I need to watch kubo before it stops showing in a few days
> I have no energy to do things that help with my depression
Someone magically heal me please before I neck myself

>>9181069
Get some rest! Drink hot teas/soups, sleep near a humidifier, and use saline nasal spray to help with your dry throat.

>>9181069

people like this make me want to do a stop in Mom service because someone clearly isn't caring for you the way you need to be cared for.

Like for $100 someone stops in twice a day, makes you a nutritious breakfast, makes you shower and change, and leaves a cup of nyquil at your bedside.
Then they return near the evening, make you a simple dinner, give you more medication and then leave.

>>9177000
>tfw you're always the one to start a convo
>tfw if I don't nobody ever talks to me
>tfw even the people you've known for years will randomly pull the most SJW shit out of their ass
>tfw can never be truly good friends due to this

Most of them are very nice but when they go "omg I can't listen to white people music, they're so problematic" I just stare off into the distance like what the hell

>>9181069
Don't go to the meets etc when you are sick. Please.

>>9178309
aaaand I skipped the meet fml
At least I didn't ruin it for anyone else I guess?

>>9178342
It's not so much that I need help with the subject, I just need someone to hold me and tell me it's going to be okay because I'm a big crybaby.

>>9178501
It's about the differences between benign and malignant colorectal cancer stroma and how the extracellular microenvironment regulates local dissemination and invasive behaviour of colorectal tumours with certain mutations but not others. The topic is pretty clear, but I'm having difficulties getting anything intelligent on the page since my brain just keeps going "derp derp cancer bad".

>>9180861
>>9180987
Yeah, Facebook. I'm too autistic to use FB properly too, which is why I only have one for lolita comm stuff. People probably think I'm weird for only having like three friends on there but whatever.

>>9181111
It is going to be okay.
I'm guessing they want you to focus mostly on the cell physiology rather than the structural differences between benign and malignant cells given that you have to talk about the microenvironment and behaviour of the tumours. Have you tried doing it as bullet points or doing some freeform writing to clear your head? I find if I can't get anything relevant on the page that I can sometimes get my brain to focus by scribbling down what I'm actually thinking no matter how stupid it is as getting it on paper sometimes stops it rattling around in my head.

>>9181069
Get well soon, anon. Please give yourself some time to be sick in.

>>9176320
> tfw you save your money for a dress and only one colourway
> tfw it's the only colour you wanted anyway
>tfw you start seriously questioning your taste

>>9180985
>>9180992
>>9180997
Another anon with that feeling. Right now I'm in school to earn a degree but past that I have no plans and really, I want to just take a trip to the few spots I've always wanted to go to and then just not come back. End up like those in Aokigahara where you go into the forest and just never come out until they find your remains months or years later.

>>9181072
I'm buying a humidifier right now, and I just woke from a nap. Thank you for the suggestions.

>>9181089
Please go mom-mode on me so I get better.

>>9181109
I paid for my place when I wasn't sick. I didn't want to throw my money away, but I'm not going to anymore until I'm better.

>>9181127
Thank you anon.

>>9177065
Just be regular Cindy Lou who, fuck everybody else. Short people cosplay tall people all of the time and they don't have to say that they're being the baby version of a character. You got this

>tfw you're breaking out like mad for some reason

Why universe?! Must not pick. Bad bad things happen then.

>>9181260
I'm from the North East anon, Sunderland to be exact. If you really feel overwhelmed try to take a trip to the beach. Honestly it's one of the best beaches i've came across in the UK and its what I do when I need to get away from it all. It's worth the train/bus ride down there, even when you're alone its always so peaceful you don't really feel so lonely.
I hope it helps anon, Keep your chin up!

I met a cute Jewish girl at a Con last weekend. We have the same interests. We talked in good length about Madoka. I've always been fascinated by Jewish culture and I would spend my life with someone who is apart of the tribe. How do I get contact with her without being all spergy?

>>9181451
>the tribe
First of all, stop saying shit like this.
Like this anon >>9179255 Just talk to her like you would anyone else and don't make a big deal out of the fact she's Jewish. She's a person first and foremost.
If you're interested in her culture, traditions or religion then ask her about it (though I'd be wary about asking about religion because it's very personal; that's just me though), be prepared to receive vague answers because not all Jewish people are religious, and seriously, just treat her like a person. It's not that hard.

>>9181251
hydrocolloid patches

CosRx if you can get them fast, otherwise look for Nexcare in your pharmacy or trim down a regular hydrocolloid bandage (they are marketed for blisters).

using the CosRx acne patches has not cured my picking, but it has saved my face from the worst of it as well as working well to clear my face up.

>>9181260
Go to your university support team anon. Explain your situation- they may be able to help you with your financial and housing fears, and advise if there is any alternative paths available to continue with your degree if your result doesn't go your way.
Have a little faith though anon- if the exam was tough, it will be graded accordingly.

>>9180991
I feel you, anon. I'm still not sure what's going on with me but two years ago I started to get HORRIBLE joint pain, have joints constantly slipping out of place, have days when I can barely walk or I'm in so much pain I just want to cry. It's okay to be upset about a sudden disability, especially when it interferes with your life. My favorite thing to do used to be going for long walks out in the woods -- now I can barely get to the grocery store down the street (5 minute trip, at most) without coming back exhausted and in horrible pain. It sucks horribly.

>bad breakup last year really fucked me up
>guy ended up spilling deep secrets I'd told him whenever I wouldn't talk to him post-breakup
>can't make friends because I'm afraid they'd betray me if we stopped being friends
>ended up sticking by him but couldn't do it anymore, repeat the breakup
>can see him already twisting things by posting how I'm fake etc less than 24hrs after leaving
>was just reaching out to make cosplay/lolita buddies the past few weeks
>anxiety kicks in, trust issues back in full swing
>retreat from new friends, abandoned all plans

I just want to be able to make friends and not feel like I have to hide myself and become a fake person because I can't trust them. I'm so afraid he'd start to harass my new friends if they're male, or act like I'm a backstabbing bitch who uses people. Nobody wants to be friends with someone who has a crazy ex that won't leave no matter how many places you block them.

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>tfw all these favorites on my listings but no sales

Just buy my shit.

>>9181910
Feeling this.

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>Teach 2 hour Sewing Machine 101 type class
>guy has never sewn before
>brings in yards of really thin, orange 2 way stretch fabric and the Yaya men's bodysuit pattern
>Says hes trying to make a skin tight, water proof suit for a deformed monster body
>proudly shows all the pieces he cut out so far
>it's all a single cut from each pattern piece that he's says rook 3 hours
>Also he didn't know what size to use he just cut the biggest size
>try carefully to explain that each piece shows how many pieces you need to cut out, the arrangement diagram, cutting on a fold and the alignment notches
>also that two way stretch won't work and this stuff isn't waterproof and no special sewing will make it so
>"oh wow I was hoping I could just take the sewing class and be able to run around the city like a super hero in a few hours"
>

>>9181876
This was a full on abusive, manipulative fuck who you were dating. I think most reasonable people would understand if you explain and would probably be sensitive to your issues that he brought on. I'm sorry anon :(

>>9182029
He actually made an entire account on a site just to post things about me, and I've never gotten over that. The worst thing is that people humor him, they have this mentality of "let the baby cry himself out" and it fucking sucks.
I had to watch him methodically rip apart my reputation and friendships with other people and now I'm afraid he's going to do it again.
Everyone tells me to just be the bigger person, to take the high road. But nobody ever tells him to stop.

I just want some frilly friends, man. I'm horribly afraid to make friends with men now. The last time I became friends with a guy he harassed me nonstop and once the guy and I started to get closer, the ex told him to have fun with my body and to not let me manipulate him.

Fucking sucks. I'm just afraid he'd publicly harass the new people I make friends with and most people would go "well I've just met this girl and this random guy is fucking with me because of it. Might as well move on, don't wanna get stuck in that drama"

>>9182076
He wants to tell everyone you're a manipulative bitch? Well then be it. Make anonymous accounts and just dish out all HIS secrets. Start shit with HIS new friends. But don't put your own face/name on it, and play dumb if you get called out. Yeah, it's gonna be hard because of him, but you're gonna make his life hell too.

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>mfw I'm going to have to suck it up and get dental work done to fix the damage caused by my parents neglecting my teeth as a kid and see an optometrist about my failing eye sight.

>>9182350
That won't solve a problem and probably make anon more miserable tho. I'm in a same kind of situation but not that bad. My ex spreads lies about me and turns everyone against me and when I confront him he just says he never said it and agrees with me. If I started to go crazy and started to spill the things about our relationship it would just make me look even worse. Unfortunately it seems the only way to me is just try to ignore it and wait if someone realises what kind of person he is. Trying to convince other people doesn't work if they are already at the crazy one's side: they have already believed whatever those kind of people has said and decided to side them which is kinda understandable if they are friends. They won't believe it and it probably just has an opposite reaction. It feels absolutely awful to just keep your mouth shut and being bashed when you have said absolutely nothing bad but atleast I don't want to be the kind of person I hate and I believe anon feels the same. Can't say what's a solution to this tho. I'm just probably going to move the fuck away and start over because this is a small place so I'm fucked up basically.

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>>9181876
>>9182076
>The worst thing is that people humor him, they have this mentality of "let the baby cry himself out" and it fucking sucks.
This has become infuriating to me, but I'm too dead inside to speak up about it. My ex did similar to me. I had to leave her because she had been manipulative and abusive and threatened to kill me in my sleep, that level of craziness, so I pretended things were ok and then left all at once. She demanded all her friends immediately cut off contact with me and spun it as me being an abusive asshole that left her for someone else and thought she was unattractive, that sort of stupid crap.

She tried to get me removed from the comm and could still be trying, because she just became a mod.

Between people not talking to me because they think I'm a huge asshole and people not talking to me because they're just plain afraid of her, it sucks. I'm afraid to post any lolita stuff publicly, and she'll probably try to start a shit storm here to hurt me if I post on CoF or anything. She's at most meets, so even though I'm still in the comm, it barely feels like it when I have to avoid her.

My job involves using my hands constantly. I mostly cut things with scissors, hand sew, and use various tools with triggers like an airbrush. Lately, my hands hurt so much that I can't sleep. I have no trouble with them when I fall asleep, but ~4 hours into sleep, both hands will keep going numb no matter which position I lay in (so even my free hand will be numb when I'm laying on my side and not just the arm I am laying on). I've been taking painkillers and drinking teas that are supposed to help, but it's not really working.

>>9182666
It sounds like you might have developed carpal tunnel. You can do stretches for now and see if it helps, but you would need to see a doctor if it gets worse.

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>A couple months ago buy fabric for new cosplay
>oh boy I can't wait to start I'll just put my fabric right here on the desk for tomorrow
>Get busy with work/college. Professor needs new datapack done in like a week
>husband changes to night schedule
>get even busier with work
>put fabric on shelf, I'll get to it later
>Start applying for career jobs, no one is hiring in my field in this economy
>start grinding and clenching my teeth more
>put fabric in closet
>more work, falling behind, can't keep up with workload because I'm the only student professor has left who knows how to do the work properly
>still no career job
>start to slowly have suicidal thoughts creep into my head
>finally get free time, don't even feel like working on my costume anymore, get rid of fabric
>grinding/clenching teeth so badly now that often feel tiny chips come off their enamel, when I run my tongue along their surface it feels like broken seashells

I've never felt this way before, where I don't actually want to work or even do the things I like. I used to be a workaholic, I loved working and I loved my hobbies. Now I don't have any interest in things like cosplay, videogames, or anything. It's so hard to find a reason to get up in the morning.

My husband says I should seek professional help but I'm so worried that somehow it'll leak that I'm depressed or whatever this is and no one will hire me, or I won't be able to keep my firearm CCW (inb4 nogunsallowed, I live in a bad area and I'm less than 100 lbs) or something like that. I don't want people to know I'm now like this because I don't want to trouble anyone or think less of me, it's bad enough my husband knows and is constantly worried about me and looks at me with that pitying look. I also have these pains in my extremities on the inside, like if I were to cut them open it would go away. I wonder if it's muscle tension from stress, that would explain the jaw clenching/grinding too.

Tutorial unrelated, I just wanna feel useful.

>building lolita wardrobe
>spacing out my purchases, trying not to buy everything at once
>next on my list is a gothic skirt for a couple events in October
>have my eye on two that I like
>one is spooky print, very pretty but very bold, not sure I could away with wearing it to work
>the other is plain black but with lovely lace details, much more appropriate for everyday wear
>print will definitely fit, but its a little more expensive
>plain black might not fit (closet child measurements are smaller than me but it looks like it has partial shirring) but its cheaper.

What do.

>>9182788
Please listen to your husband. You deserve to get better.

>>9182793
I dunno, I'm still worried about whatever therapist not keeping their Hippocratic oath. Do therapists even have to take one? If I go get "help" and all it does is make life harder for me because it makes it even harder to get a job/keep my CCW then I'm afraid I'll only get worse.

I dunno, maybe if Trump wins then I won't have to worry so much about at least my CCW. This is my life now. Hoping Trump, of all fucking people, wins the election. I have hit rock bottom. Just kill me now, /cgl/.

>>9182804
I can't imagine why your therapists/doctors would be interacting with your potential employers. If you're so stressed and depressed you're in physical pain you should seek professional help.

>>9182812
Actually it's pretty common for certain career fields to be affected if you've seen a psychiatrist/psychologist. There's still a lot of stigma behind it, and I'm in a field mostly dominated by men, so it would most likely make me look weak in comparison. Some applications even ask for things like "do you have a disability, including depression", or "have you seen a psychiatrist/psychologist in the past X months", so I'm pretty sure they take it into account, at least for maybe AA or EO.

>>9182804
First you need to go to a dentist and get fitted for a night guard. It sucks having one but prevents damage to your teeth and tight muscles in your jaw that give you headaches. I got one and my headaches and stress improved a lot.
Secondly, take time from your day to stretch your body, it physically helps you relieve stress and makes you feel a bit better even if it's only temporary.
Thirdly, you need to talk to someone about stress management and anxiety. I honestly fear getting a therapist for the same reasons you do.

I felt the same way about my life and losing interest in my hobbies. I started to multi-task stress relief techniques into my daily life and while it didn't help all of my problems it made them seem a little less impending.

Little things every day can build up and help you feel 10x better. When you take a bath, chuck in some bath oil or some path bombs and let your body soak. Grab a cup of chamomile tea and sip it while you're in there. Hell, if you need to review some paperwork or read something for work, do it while you're in the tub drinking tea.

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>>9182815
Thanks for the thorough response, it's nice to hear from someone who had the same experience. I've tried a hard nightguard but ended up misaligning my jaw from bulldogging my lower jaw forward and clenching over it when I slept. I also have tried one of those soft ones but they make all my teeth hurt and I can wiggle them like they're loose afterward. Is there another nightguard solution? Maybe if I get a sportsguard, one of the ones you dip in hot water and bite down on, would work better?

I have been trying to get back into contortion, I used to be able to oversplit as well as some "bonebreaking" and now I can barely get to a full split, I really should get back into stretching.


Have a tutorial, I feel bad posting nothing but text all the time.

>>9182804
Therapists are supposed to keep total privacy unless you said you plan to kill you self or another or there is reasonable evidence a child or elder is being harmed.

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>>9182848
Another anon here with nightguard experience. I've been using one like pic related ever since I chipped one of my teeth and had to get cosmetic bonding about 1 year ago. I also started grinding my teeth out of stress, and one morning, I woke up and spit out a pretty big piece of my tooth. You sound like you're grinding/clenching really hard though, so I'm not sure if this kind will help you.

As far as losing interest in your hobbies, I feel you. I just tell myself that I will seriously regret it if I don't go to the gym, and that usually makes me go. I hate that I can't force myself to draw or play videogames. Then when I try to draw again, I am out of practice. It's not like I cant' draw as well anymore, but even doodling something takes me hours when I'm out of practice vs half an hour when I have been drawing consistently for a week. There just isn't enough time in the day.

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>>9182848
>>9182873
I had a hard one for my upper teeth, the kind that's molded to fit your mouth. It's also yanking my bottom teeth out of place but it's because my dentist is a lazy dick who won't remove my permanent retainer (the wire on the back of your teeth after braces) when it slipped down and moved my teeth with it.

Perhaps you can find one like this that goes on your top and bottom teeth? Since it's grinding against pure plastic it may not change your teeth nearly as much.

>>9182873
>>9182881
Thank you so much for the replies! I was gonna head out to the store in a minute anyway, so I'll look at some nightguards and see if I can find one that either doesn't squeeze my teeth or maybe fits both the upper and lower jaw.

>>9182814
Since you're voting Trump, I assume you live in the United States. In which case it is illegal to ask these questions and you are not obligated to answer them. You're protected by both the ADA and HIPAA laws.

Like the other person said, you deserve to get better. You deserve to get help.

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Last night I got all dressed up and did all my makeup as professional as possible.
I wanted to final start filming myself for a YouTube video.
I was looking really good in the mirror and even pictures...but as soon as I turned on the camera I thought I looked horrible, my face looked long like a horse and my fake eyelashes from valor looked like spiders not pretty...
I can never make a YouTube at this rate I feel so ugly.

>buy pair of baby shoes secondhand off wunderwelt for my halloween coord, listed on the site as black, look black in photos
>babby's first brand shoes
>get shoes today
>still in shoebox
>shoebox says "br" under color
>what
>open box, shoes are actually a very, very, dark brown
>can't mix brown and black in my.
coord
I'm going to scream. At least they're in excellent condition (no real signs of wear) but I am not spending more money on another pair of shoes so i think I'll just suck it up and deal with it and hope no one looks too closely at them (from a distance they look mostly black)

>>9182452
I'm still in that boat. My mother refused to take me to the dentist and she didn't teach me brushing habits. By the time I figured out they were important when I was 11, it was too late.

I've probably spent 8k on my teeth. Part of it I got done at a dental school because I didn't have insurance at the time. (Which if you're lucky enough to live near one, like only a couple hours away, it's worth it to save money)

It's been 2 years and I'm in the home stretch now. I just have to get a crown for one tooth, then a root canal, post, and crown then I'm done. So I'll probably have spent around 10k all on my teeth when it's over.

It sucks, but it was worth it.

>>9182988
My teeth are fucked that I'm looking at probably 10 teeth being pulled(almost every tooth past the incisor is fucked up)? I'm consideting asking the dentist to just pull out the rest and give me partial dentures.

It was bad enough that they would take me to the dentist, and then refuse to let the dentist do the work because it cost money. My parents rather spent money on shopping and drugs then their child's dental care(yes I'm bitter about it)

>>9181524
Damn anon, you're a godsend

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Good feels incoming!
>put on pink Melty Chocolate skirt in my wishlist which is a dream item of mine ever since i was a noob
>take a nap and wake up to a friend of mine messaging me saying they're selling it
>i get it for 120 bucks instead of 200 or so, perfect condition
>life is good

Also:
>get messaged by other friend
>he was at a "harajuku meeting" the other day
>message me saying people talked about me
>get super nervous and ask what they said
>says he found a group of lolitas and imporessed with with his "knowledge"
>when he got asked how he knew that he mentionned my name and how i taught him a thing or two about the fashion when we were hanging out
>Apparently at the mention of my name people said "oh her, she's so sweet and so cute, lolita looks adorable on her!"
>mfw

I'm feeling all fuzzy inside now

>>9182571
I'm sorry that happened to you anon, at least my ex lives far enough away he can't drop by and fuck with my friend groups. One day we should just burn them all to the ground and try to pick up the pieces of our lives.

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>Entered the cosplay contest at local con this weekend
>Next day friend wanted to go to her first con so let her borrow the cosplay
>people kept coming up to her on sunday telling her they thought she did a good job in the contest

I mean I cant blame them for not being able to tell some one else is in the costume, but I'm actually really flattered people remembered my entry and thought it was a good job.

>tfw you can't find March of series at a con even after asking almost every vendor
It's not even an obscure series

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>mfw my friend who fell out of lolita and into ouji decides to just give me the stuff he has left of his lolita
>brands include metamorphose, innocent world, and AP
>also includes shoes
>tfw we're the same size in clothing and shoes too

Feels good. I love him to pieces. I can finally properly get started.

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>Move to a new city
>Go to a comm tea party
>Meet another Lolita who ends up living pretty close by me
>Tons of stuff in common
>Exited to maybe make a friend
>Add/message her on Facebook
>Wait too long to reply
>Message her back finally and never get a reply
>Have avoidant personality disorder
>Know i'd probably just let the friendship wither and die
>Never send anther message

>>9179960
Nisekoi
K-On
No Game No Life
Food Wars

>>9183482
Just send a link to something funny or cute and see if she responds. If not it's nbd because you weren't even really starting a conversation.

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I've been single for almost three years now and I feel like a whiny kid when I complain about it, but it just really sucks being lonely and being the only single in my friend group. All I want is a cute gf or bf to cosplay with holy shit.

>tfw no qt goth lolita gf

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>tfw got my first negative feedback on lacemarket
It was one of those "pay in 3 days" deals, and I forgot, of course. Communication is also hard because potato internet.

>>9183732
>tfw qt goth lolita sister

>>9183758
YDI. You violated the terms the seller had.

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>>9183721

If you're a girl, honestly it should be super easy for you to get a bf if you try. Took me over 2 years and a lucky encounter on OKC to meet my current gf who's a worse weeb than me.

>>9183393

>fell out of lolita due to extreme dislike for the community
>want to give my friend all my brand as handmedowns, too lazy to sell and hate most other lolitas too much
>she'd feel too guilty about it

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>>9183814
I know. I'm not saying it's the seller's fault. Just that it's a bad feel and I wanna complain, so let me complain

My bf doesnt like roleplaying when we have sex anymore, he says it's too much hassle for us to put on the cosplay and makeup each time...but it's the only thing that makes me cum and I've tried explaining it to him but he thinks since I cum from him eating me out when he's in cosplay that it should feel the same when he doesn't cosplay....but it isn't the same at all

>>9181260
Please follow up the advice of >>9181642

I had a lot of struggles during my early years at university due to circumstances beyond my control in combination with high levels of general anxiety (I'm also a major depressive - didn't help). The student advocacy programs, counselling and other support services were an enormous relief and extremely sympathetic and understanding of my situation. I know what it feels like to want to be independent and carry it all on your own shoulders, and how hard it can be to admit you faltered, but if you reach out to these people, they will help and things will get easier.

>>9183981
>but it's the only thing that makes me cum

Then you have some kind of sexual/emotional problem, anon. The same way a guy would if porn was the only thing that could get him off instead of regular sex with his partner.

>>9181910
Not nec a feel but fellow sale anon, could I get some advice? Someone won an auction of mine last week and messaged me asking about another item I have listed, but hasn't read my response or my further polite request for a paypal address. How long should I wait before assuming they're ignoring me and relisting the item?

It does say in my terms that I usually only give 3 business days to finalise payments.

>>9183920
>tfw no bf because potato face and I'm taller then most of them

I wish I was cute and short like most girls

>>9184099
>most girls are cute

lol

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I feel like shit, I'm tired of being poor, I'm tired of living in my tiny city were nothing happens (the main con is turning more and more into normie shit and a yaoi con has been moved to the capital city this year) with my parents, I'm tired of college and want my degree as soon as possible to get my own home and money to spend into weeb shits, outings with friends and traveling to other countries. I just bought a video game I was enthusiastic for and now I have no idea when I get money so I have to wait to get skincare products, makeup and decent clothes because I always look like a greasy neet. I know it looks like first world problems and all that but it's far from being the worst, it's just an accumulation of that and other things that's making me so upset these days.

>>9177000
Same for me, until I went to college and met a bunch of weebs who are actually pretty cool. My friends are as nerdy as I am and we can talk about shit like BL and how boring and annoying tumblr became recently and how we miss lj. It feels great.

>>9184113
my confidence isn't the best and I keep thinking about how everyone else is so much prettier then me when I'm outside

>>9184156
You have it good if you're a girl wanting a relatonship; there will be a guy 99% of the time who wants to date you. Would ask for face pic to confirm but that'd be weird. At any rate, you'll be fine.

>interested in cosplay for years but never really found a character design + character that suited me and I like enough to cosplay because I'm a picky bitch
>finally find a design that I love
>look up other cosplays of character
>there's only one and it's... not good
>oh well I'll just have to figure everything out myself then
>part of the character's outfit is clearly knitted
>cables, bobbles, openwork and some kind of lace hem
>I can knit a little but have never done cables so designing my own knitting pattern for this costume is a big learning experience for me
>enjoy it anyway even if it's taking a long time
>friend who has been cosplaying for a lot longer tells me I'm crazy for knitting it myself when I could just glue fabric strips down onto a base and cut out the holes with small scissors
>links me picture of that other cosplay to show me how amazingly great this hot-glue-and-fabric-strips technique looks in practice
>repeatedly calls me insane for incorporating knitting in a costume since "Who even knits still? That's for old ladies lol"
>she's starting to wear me down

Is she right? Am I crazy? I want to try recreating what the character would actually wear if she were real, and nobody really wears sweaters with strips of fabric glued on and holes cut out. Am I missing the point of cosplay?

>>9184212
If you're enjoying the process, go for it. If you're unhappy with out the glue and holes look, go for it. Personally I love getting projects that force me to learn a new skill, even if it takes a long time.

>>9184180
Lol no there's never been a guy interested in me but thanks for trying

I just iron burned a pair of SOLDIER 1st Class trousers trying to straighten up the interfacing. I've never done it before, and I'm so mad with myself. I had them nearly complete as well.

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Lately I've been more and more jealous and angry towards everyone I know. It's seems everyone else is doing just what they want to and then there's me who always tries to do the right thing. People waste their money, take a loan to visit japan, buy clothes/figures/cosplays/etc. and at the same time they skip school or tell how they are too depressed or have anxiety so they can't study or work. And even so, they just complain all the time so they'll also get all the attention and cheers they want. First they'll tell how they are fat and ugly, then they post selfies or first they'll tell how they are too depressed to function and then they'll go to travel with friends. And then there's me. I save my money, I keep silent on my problems so that I won't be annoying, I go to every class and work hard, I try to be a good friend and cheer up other how stupid their problems might be. At the same time I'm dealing with sickness that affects my everyday life, I'm lonely and I'm depressed after losing a family member a year ago in accident. And no one ever even asks me how am I because somehow their lives are so hard. So at the same time I'm angry about how the other people are attention whores who make bad decisions and on the other hand I am jealous that some people got friends to listen and support them and they can do nice things without feeling bad about spending money/skipping school/etc.. I feel like I am punished for trying to be a good and responsible person. Am I just a salty person who doesn't know how to enjoy life? Are others really as stupid as they seem or have I started hating everyone I know just because I'm so pathetic myself...? I used to be compassionate person...

>>9184212
I absolutely love realism in cosplay. I hate seeing cheap tricks so I'd love to see progress pics of your knitting!
Don't let her say your skills are outdated or force you into doing it a faster way. If you want to knit it, you knit your heart out anon.

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Regret and despair. I just wanted to be a lolita and find love. I wasted 7 years of my life being a 300lb kissless virgin NEET, a lot of people in my family died in a short time (one is now perm disabled), I was forced to get a job, or be homeless, so I did.

I finally had money, I lost 175lbs, my hair grew back (stress), so I bought my first lolita dress. I was so happy to fit into my first dress I cried for hours. When I posted my outfits online a lot of people said I looked pretty. I realize now at 26 years old I just want to hold a man's hand or kiss them for once. I went 7 years locked in my room without talking to another man or even going outside besides funerals.
This is stopping me from going to a lolita meet, what if there are men there? What if they're attractive? Anytime I see an attractive guy all I think about is cocks and freak out. I just want to make friends who also wear lolita and try to be less awkward but I'm scared. I feel so disgusting, how do I get over this?

>>9184306
While you probably shouldn't take it to the level those people are with the attention seeking, no one's going to know if you're troubled if you don't ever bring it up. Also, if they're as self centered as to seek out sympathy constantly for their problems then that's the problem right there, you need to find better people who'll care. Basically, don't expect people to automatically know if you're not the sharing type. You only know all their problems because they aren't shutting up about them. And don't bend over backwards for everyone, treat yourself first.

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>>9184306
>I keep silent on my problems so that I won't be annoying

I used to be like you anon.
But then I realized with this kind of "I keep my problems as my own so others won't worry or be bothered," made it impossible for people to really know me and therefore care about my life. While I always made myself available for everyone's single little problem nobody ever reciprocated. Then I realized it was because I never said anything and so nobody ever thought to check up on me since they didn't know I had problems myself. And isn't it fair anon that unless you speak up nobody can really read your mind?

You seem like an open person if people are coming at you with their feelings about mental and financial struggles so I wouldn't ruin that. But the next time a friend tries to rant to you why not mention you've struggled with loneliness and depression for a really long time and you're in a deal of pain? If they're any kind of friend then the least they can do is lend an ear to your feelings and be there for you. You're making a bad decision by keeping quiet and you don't even realize how your pent-up emotions are turning you bitter. Don't suffer alone anon.

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>>9184332
I read this as OP being a 125lb closeted gay virgin who bought his first dress and is now terrified to go to a lolita meet because he'd lose his spaghetti over another attractive MtF or manly aristocrat senpai.

I don't know why I read it like this, but I really like my version of this story.

>>9184332
Anon, you gotta spend more time around attractive dudes. It's the only way you get over the constant "OMG THEY HAVE COCKS" thoughts. I had the same issue until I started playing D&D every weekend and I just...got over it.

(Also got me a great bf that I'm now engaged to.)

>>9184382
>I went 7 years locked in my room without talking to another man
>another man
Might be because of that.

>>9184353
>>9184365
Thanks for your replies guys. I've had a hard time bringing up my problems to others since I don't want to come up as attention seeker and I don't want to make others feel uncomfortable since some of my problems, like a death of family member or domestic violence, may be too much to handle for someone. I need support right now but at the same time I don't want to make others feel uneasy because I talk about difficult and depressing things. And since people open up to me I feel like it's my duty to cheer them up, not make them feel bad about my problems too. But I'll try to work on that and try to come up a way to get my friends know that I'm not doing that great at the moment. Maybe my anger and jealously will too fade away if I'll get some support in return and I wont be just the supporter. I'm scared of opening up to others but this bitterness is turning me into a really ugly person so I guess I need to change.

>>9184390
I have two very kind female co-workers/friends who are bringing me to an event this weekend that will have guys into other stuff I like (video games, anime). I'm hoping it'll be a first step into interacting with men, even if they may look like what I used to. I am going to wear my favorite dress and stay very close to them, but I know I'm going to run into issues.

>>9184394
>>9184382
I'm biologically female, but I guess looking like a fat greasy bald man for so long gave me gender issues. I know I'd be worst off if I were born male in my situation.

>>9184405
I've got some bad news and good news for you. The bad news is that you may find that some of your friends can't handle all of the problems that you have. They may not know how to talk to you about the feelings you have or they may not want to deal with you at all.

The good news is that assuming your friends aren't entirely shitty, some of them will be happy to listen, and some of them may even have good advice. I hope you open up to some of them. Good friends won't think that you're a bother.

>>9184441
That sounds like a good way to get started, anon. Interacting with the opposite sex/people we might find attractive can be pretty hard when you're not used to socializing. I'm sure you'll make it through and do fine.

>just recently found the perfect 2kawaii phone case for my iPhone 6s
>but I'm getting the 7 plus soon

I cry erry time. here's to another year of trying to find the perfect case.

>>9182788

I really needed that tutorial, thanks! Hope you feel better soon. Don't give up!

I feel so mentally alone that I'd like to die.

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>>9184306
Anon there's nothing wrong with being responsible. I absolutely get how you feel though. Sometimes I just wanna spend all of my money on new dresses and go on frivolous trips because god damn it feels like everyone else spent their summers going abroad and doing cool things while I worked. I know in the end though it is going to pay off. I am not going to be (too) deep in debt and I am going to pass my classes and get my god damn degree and I am going to make some good ass money and I am going to go on as many fun trips as I fucking want to and someday I'll be able to buy new release dresses straight from the brand. Don't give up anon! You'll graduate and make lots of money someday!

>>9184624
Hey just another anon chiming in to say this is what I did (turned down a trip right after graduating so I could find a job and start saving money) and three years down the road I have a well paying job, disposable income, a sizable savings, plus three trips this year (including a trip to Japan!) while my friends are unemployed and struggle to pay their student loans. It feels awesome!

>>9184634
I feel like this has less to do with the fact that you saved money and more to do with that personality of responsibility.
People who spend frivolously are less employable and usually don't work as hard.

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I'm "that guy" now and I'm not sure how ashamed of it I even am.

PM'd somebody on their sales post at like 3am last night, totally sleep deprived and panicing because dream dress, offering a trade for a dress worth half of hers and a little over half of what she was asking in cash. I can't take it back now so I might as well roll with it and hope for the best.

Totally related feel:
>Other dream dress is being sold locally with basically an entire coord at the price of the jsk.
>Jump on that shit.
>It fits awkwardly because of the high-waist but I can't lengthen straps because of the weird psuedo-OP cut.
>This is what I'm trying to trade now because the other jsk will also go perfectly with the rest of the bundle I just got.
>I just want to be pretty.

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>Been with my bf for over 4 years now, loved him to death
>he's the sweetest guy ever, always takes me out to fancy restaurants, takes me shopping, and just generally spoils me rotten
>A few days ago I decided to go to his place for a surprise visit, as I wanted to relax after rushing to finish my essay for uni
>I walk in to find him sprawled out on the floor, a belt around his arm, syringe on the floor and a baggy of what I now know was heroin in his hand
>Ran out of his apartment in tears
>Days later he texts me saying how he's so sorry I had to witness that, and that he wants to change but can't
>apparently he's been shooting up heroin everyday for 6 years now, constantly hiding it from me, and even being high around me without my knowledge

I'm honestly lost. I still love him dearly, but the fact that he's hid this part of himself from me for all those years coupled with the fact that he doesn't think he has the willpower to quit is incredibly concerning to me. I want him to get better desperately, and am thinking maybe me leaving him is what he needs to realize that he needs to seek help. I just don't know anymore gulls.

Sorry for the rambly disjointed mess of a post, I've been so distraught these last couple of days that my head is almost as fucked up as his haha...

Why do people always catch feelings?
I'm so checked out from dating but I still want to hook up and hang out with people. Every time I get a good thing going on, they catch feelings and ruin it.

Side related note, how do you tell people that you want to hook up in cosplay? I find it incredibly hot.
Or anyone you attends larp, do you get dirty? Is there a proper way to bang someone in character?

>>9184700
>shot himself in the head 13 times

i lol'd

>>9184698
What the fuck, anon... I'm sorry to hear about your situation. Can you get him help?

I'm afraid people think I'm a beginner at lolita because of how shy I am. I don't claim to be an expert, but I've been wearing it for 4 years now. Maybe it's because my coords are lacking. idk I guess I need to step up my game.

Also I've been attending meets since I was 16 and I feel like I look older than I actually am. Even back then people didn't seem to realize how much younger I was than them. Granted I hadn't learned how to apply foundation back then, but I'm scared shitless that I look significantly older than I actually am.
>tfw girls older than me unintentionally humble brag about how they get mistaken for a teenager

>>9184719
don't worry, anon. you probably just look your age or maybe older by a year or two. a lot of girls just THINK they look younger when they don't. i have a lot of friends who genuinely believe they look 15 when they definitely look their age (mid 20's) and could pass for 20 at the youngest. also, people get mistaken for teenagers more often because of the way they dress and act rather than their face. plus, a lot of people are terrible at guessing ages, especially elderly people.

>>9184726
>a lot of girls just THINK they look younger when they don't

>tfw I've been told I can't buy alcohol because they thought my ID was fake

Chubby cheeks while being slim and big eyes are a curse.

>>9184703
is this some joke reference like the wizard of oz greentext I'm not getting or just a really bad, really long fake story?

>>9184726

>people get mistaken for teenagers more often because of the way they dress and act rather than their face

Lmao no.

I make sure to give a strong (but friendly) impresson when I enter the room now with a client. I give a strong handshake when I enter the room, and I make sure to make eye contact with the person while asking serious questions, and I still get questioned over my fucking professional title.

I've made serious changes to my professional personality and confidence which have been reflected in all my evaluations by my supervisors, and I still get questioned over whether or not I'm actually old enough to do my job.

Sure, some people may be mistaken for teenagers for the way they act, but from my experience people are much more superficial than you would believe.

>>9184717
I really want him to get help, but judging by what he's been telling me he isn't willing to quit, even with me threatening to leave him. The thing about him is that he's a creature of habit, as long as he's content he sees no reason to change/do anything outside his norm. I'm planning on dropping by his place again and telling him flat out that if he doesn't go to rehab/therapy/anything to help him quit I'm leaving him. I'm sure him losing me will wake him up out of his supposed "self-inflicted hell". I'm so angry at him for hurting me, but at the same time deeply disappointed in myself for feeling angry when its him who is really hurting...

>>9184734
But then there's Pixyteri who is 30 and thinks she looks 16.

>>9184766
>Using an example of someone who is literally mentally ill and taking it as the example for how everyone else will be

You okay?

>>9184754
Sadly you can't win against drugs, please don't delude yourself

>>9184754
Please do not put any blame on yourself in this situation. Addicts THRIVE on that. They need you to feel bad so you can enable them.
The most you can do is walk away. If you want him to get clean and he doesn't really want to, he will not get clean. It does not matter how much you care or nurture or support him. He'll probably be less likely to make any changes if you're there fixing things when he fucks up.
Don't take any responsibility for anything. Wash your hands of him and watch from afar.

>>9184747
I said more often, not all the time. Plus, I said dress AND act. The people who approach me when I'm wearing jeans and a t-shirt in Gamestop vs business casual type clothing downtown are very different.

It's possible that you do look very young and that trumps your actions. No one here is saying that you are unprofessional and/or immature and that is why people think you're young. If it's people who know your age, they might just be intimidated and trying to nitpick at you out of their own insecurities.

>>9184734
Sometimes people are dumb. I've been asked to leave a liquor store, too and get carded for M rated video games even in my mid 20's.

>>9184779
I know, but I still hope that I can at least give him a wake up call that he needs to turn his life around.
>>9184786
That's what I'm going to do, even if it means ruining our relationship I'll be happy knowing he isn't slowly killing himself anymore. I love him so much, I'd rather lose his affection than lose him completely. Doing it tomorrow, wish me luck.

>tail end of long depressive period
>lose a bunch of weight with CICO
>finally cleaned up and redecorated my room so I can take cute pics
>got a steamer to clean up my dresses
>currently working on clothing repairs so my coord options are open again
>about to get back on medication for my sleep disorder so I can be a conscious and coherent human being again
I'm so excited to participate in the community again! I've been avoiding so much and felt like I lost control of my life, but here's another shot at being happy.

>>9184800
good luck

>>9184699
i'm assuming 13 times was a typo or.. something. it's a nice story, i had a similar relationship with a girl but she pushed me away because she didn't want me spending so much time and effort to take care of her, disappeared for a couple years and when i had finally heard she was back in town she hung herself that weekend, before i managed to talk to her. the amount of effort you put in almost certainly saved her life. some people might tell you the debt is repaid and if she ever sinks again not to let her drag you down with her but.. eh. i wouldn't mind having been dragged down a little more if my friend was still around to do it.


>>9184707
odds are they have no one else they can touch, so they get greedy. physical affection and human closeness is a pretty important part of interacting, i think, but most people reserve that for family and relationships, sometimes close friends but with men that's less likely.

i don't know anyone who has fucked in character but it certainly happens, every few years some larps will get a girl who joins, sleeps around, usually doesn't stay that long. i know a good number of larps who are run by guys who will pay special attention to new girls who join so they can get close and sleep with them, i think one dude has over a dozen sexual assault claims against him but for some reason nothing has happened.

in general larp is camping out in the woods in heavy gear, running around in the hot sun and not-showering, i'm not sure how ideal that is for you.

>>9184808
iktf, i've had a pretty fucked up couple years with an abusive relationship and have spent the past 5 months reeling, finally restabilized my life and things aren't great, but I can finally breath. Just set up my sewing machine and got a bunch of camera equipment, planing to resew around 60 buttons in my lolita wardrobe and alter some things because I'm not going to waste time worrying about resale value or anything anymore as long as it makes me happy

>>9184819
Good luck to you anon!

>>9184699
>>9184700
>>9184701
>>9184703
This is a terrible work of fiction and you should be ashamed.

>>9184698
>the willpower to quit
It's heroin. It's not about willpower anymore.
Just throwing this out there.

>>9177755
You are me, except I don't hide my age. We are the target group for this fashion, not whiny teens that cannot even afford bodyline.

>>9184726
I agree with you anon. So many girls in my local Jfash community like to talk about how everyone thinks they're still teenagers and they look sooo youthful, but I'm pretty sure a big part of that is that they dress and act like weebs. Normies don't expect a 26-year-old to dress like a child and act like a retarded anime moeblob so of course they're going to ask for an ID when they see someone like that buying a crate of beer and giggling about it. This doesn't mean nobody ever gets mistaken for younger based on their face alone but most of the time, behaviour is a big part of it.
Personally I get mistaken for ~20 most of the time but if I'm nervous or shy and letting my fiancé do most of the talking people suddenly think I'm 15. It can get pretty awkward.

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>this thread is being purged
>my on topic post got deleted and i got issued a warning for it

k den

>>9184698
If you think you can exert enough emotional and physical energy to help, then you should stay. I don't want to guilt trip you into staying in what might end up being a draining relationship, but he obviously needs help and you could offer more emotional support than you might think you can do. Also, obviously, get him into medical help. Tell his family and friends. This is an intervention that needs to happen immediately, especially after an addiction for 6 years.

>new qt cosplayer in my local coscomm in late spring
>friend becomes friends with them
>qt cosplayer is bi!!
>i am an overweight weeb and bag bitch for my friends when i'm not playing otome games
>decide to whoop my ass into shape in probably not particularly healthy ways by going all saitama on myself
>lost 50 pounds
>got into better skin care
>sold all my old clothes and thrifted new ones that fit and looked good
>started wearing make up for the first time since goth middle school phase
>last week qt cosplayer got a bf
>anxiety ate all weekend and feel terrible for moping over loss of qt gf and the fact that i never even was a blip on her radar to begin with

>>9184989
How do you know you were never on her radar? Most chicks wait to be asked out and dont do anything

>friend posts cosplay test on facebook
>full body photo, great cosplay
>first thing i notice is the absolute mess of her room

why can't people just tidy up just a LITTLE if they're going to take photos like this? no one needs to know how disgusting you are with 5 trash bags and clothes/underwear on the floor.

>>9184754
I've dated a drug addict. Please stop thinking in terms of 'if he loves me he'll change' etc. Because he probably does love you but that doesn't magically make his addiction less serious or any easier to overcome. He became an addict for whatever personal reasons led to him trying heroin, now he'said an addict because it's physically addictive. He needs professional help to overcome that, but if right now he's not ready for that it doesn't have anything to do with his relationship with you.

>post coord pic on tumblr
>gets reblogged by ddlg blog
>politely ask if she'll take it down
>she does very quickly and apologizes, thanking me for not being a dick about it
>we go our separate ways
>receive new message from her
>"hi anon, i was on fetlife and saw that photo of you in lolita posted and wanted to let you know"
>internallyscreaming.png

I'm seriously thinking of watermarking my coord photos with a "not for your fetish" type message because jesus christ. Now I'm off to make a fetlife account so I can fucking ask them to take it down gdi. I'm just glad she told me since she really had no obligation to.

>>9184989
I love chubby lolitas. Gain your weight back and id fuck you like crazy!

>>9183813
>tfw handsome loser aristocrat brother

>>9184989
See, you're doing it wrong. You gotta make a move. The hurt of it not happening will always hurt worse than the hurt of rejection.

>>9185049
Nobody cares what your penis wants here.

>>9185337
>having a relationship where you let your s/o stick his tongue down other women's throats freely without any repercussions
>being surprised and hurt that it's leading to sex and you getting cucked

Sounds like you just need a dick to suck to get even and take your mind off it. But seriously, your relationship sounds like a joke.

>>9185247
Love takes work and is not super strong all the time. Work on it, let them know a little bit of how you are feeling and see if they are willing to work with it beside you.

Counseling, scheduling more date nights, talking it out, all of these are helpful things to get it back up.

>>9185337
Break up. You clearly know you aren't ok with his actions and if his make out turning into talking about more is a pattern, he likely is going to cheat if he hasn't already. I bet they did more than just kidding too but he hides it to lessen the sting. There is no reason for you to suffer because he can't make sure you are ok with the open relationship before doing stuff. He is cheating under a different name.

>>9185247
I would say think about why you got together in the first place.

Sometimes love isn't the same burning love you have when you first meet. Long term relationships are really partnerships.
>>9185374

>>9185337
You'll never be able to satisfy him and it sounds like your relationship already isnt very deep.

Dump his ass now and find a guy who'll be fine never having PIV sex or get with another girl if you've never tried that.

>>9185247
Are you sure you aren't just coming out of that honeymoon phase? Everything has settled and you're probably in a routine. Like other anons said, love takes work and when things start cooling off you can do fun things and go on dates.
But really look into why you feel you don't love them anymore, think about what led you to this point.

>>9184766
Anon, PT doesn't think she looks young. She's just insecure and juvenile and acts like she is, she's already admitted she's too old for idolru. She hates herself.

Terrible example.

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>meet this super cute guy and make friends with him
>try super hard to know his interests just so I can be interesting to him
>he's into anime aw yis
> mentally note down any anime he mentions so I can watch it and talk about it with him
>currently struggling through clannad for him even though I hate it
>he doesn't respond to me at all outside of college
>my stupid hearts too dumb to give up

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>>9185494
>being so vapid that you have copy somebody else's interests and force yourself to endure something you dislike just to be able to hold a conversation with them

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>>9185499
I need to at least rope him in before I unleash the holy hell that is my interests

>>9185494

It's not worth it to change yourself to win over somebody else. Just be yourself. Eventually someone will love you and you will love them back and everything will be ok even if your interests are different. Love isn't about what you necessarily find in common, it's what attracts you together and eventually makes you stay together through both the easy and hard times.

TL;DR: don't be superficial. Be yourself because ain't nobody got time for that. Cue disney song or whatever cheesy shit.

To continue this stories from >>9179132 and >>9180315, the international buyer reported to paypal that the dispute was resolved amicably (I sent the buyer their virtual receipt which had the untracked and uninsured shipping method selected AND said they read the terms of service). However, the girl who claimed it was fraud has already received her package based on the tracking, but Paypal is still "reviewing" the case.

AND... she just bought from me again. Going to call paypal about this then refund her and ban her.

>>9185383
>>9185434
Looks like my post got deleated but either way. We used to cosplay and do nerdy con things together, but their interest faded away, now we hardly do anything.

>>9185509
This. While my husband and I share a lot of interests, one of the things that makes us a great pair is our conflict resolution. Also being able to call each other out on bullshit whIle being constructive and understanding. Also being able to fat in front of each other and being okay with it.

Our media focuses way too much on the beginning or end of relationships and none of the actual meat of it. I think this is a part of why people focus on the wrong things when seeking out a partner

Also don't be ashamed to try online dating. It's just a logical way to save people grief and time.

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>tfw no cosplay gf

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>Open a semi-successful online store for art stuff.
>About 6 months in, hit this weird depressive cycle of "Everything I make is awful because I feel so awful." and "I feel awful because everything I make is awful."
>Slowly start to make new stuff, build up a small stock to re-open after 8 months.
>Dead broke, just trudging along.
>Spend a whole lot of money that could be feeding me on Lolita instead.
>A whole lotta money, /ceeg/.
>Sudden burst of motivation and enthusiasm!
>Driven to work really hard and get stuff done to 'make up' for buying stuff, also excited because if I keep it up I can buy MORE stuff.

I want to make and buy all of the things.

>>9185012
This is my ULTIMATE pet peeve

>cosplayer takes pic in front of mirror
>cosplay looks good they look good
>their mirror is fully of guck and smears

WHY
is it that hard to find something and clean it up a little before taking pics!

look at your surrounds when taking pics not just your cosplay please

>used to be really into sewing/cosplay
>two years ago threw right shoulder out sewing a lolita skirt for a local festival
>was only the beginning of an avalanche of joint issues that got unbearable within less than 6 months
>can barely walk some days, keep having joints get thrown out/pinched nerves, can't put weight on ankles some mornings
>losing fine motor skills (have to wear a wrist brace for months at a time and have difficulty using my fingers
>start using a cane, helps with the leg/back pain but aggravates wrist issues horribly
>gained 70lbs, want to exercise but was told by a physical therapist NOT while was in the ER (unrelated issue) because "could aggravate condition" since no one knows what the fuck it is and they don't want me to make it worse. Especially since just walking down to the corner store can cause me to sublux my hip.
>only eat 1 meal a day as it is, don't know how I could possibly cut down more
>want to cosplay and do lolita again, miss being cute and feeling nice about myself
>can't sew anymore, can't afford cute clothes, can't even exercise until I get a diagnosis
>bc of being in US have to go through HELL to get insurance thanks to not being able to work due to aforementioned joint pain, can't get in to see a doctor without insurance.

I've been planning to get a membership to the YMCA to at least use their pool to swim since it's the only physical activity that doesn't leave me in agonizing pain. Probably a bad place to complain about going from 130lbs to 200lbs but don't care. The worst part is I could have easily fit into brand before this and didn't even realize it because I fell for the "brand is only for super tiny Japanese girls!" myth. Sorry for the text wall. I just feel so fucking dejected. The pain is so bad sometimes that I'm suicidal because of it (was actually the reason I was in the ER -- had such a bad pain spike and felt so hopeless that I tried to overdose on painkillers and cold medication)

>>9182974
Just sell them on LM and get black ones, there's plenty of time left even with airmail

>>9180826
okay so apparently i misread the cortisol test results and they are fine, but now my period has been over a week early for two months in a row. i go back to the doctor on the 24th but I'm wondering. when you guys started getting treatment for pcos did you lose the weight you had gained? i'm feeling super insecure about my body and want to lose the weight so badly, and i'm frustrated that going to the gym hasn't helped at all.