Lolita Meetups

>>8954831

I will never understand how people have picnic meets, but then choose to have them in the dead hot of summer/after a storm and girls will show up in their burando with mud caked shoes and sweating from head to toe.

please more indoor meets, or atleast reschedule meets when it's not satans fucking asshole outside.

I really want to host a meetup at a really great local arcade. It has so many games and even an indoor minigolf course. I'm just worried that people may find an arcade meet childish.

>>8954831
My local comm is planning one for May at a sushi restaurant and i'm terriffied.

It'll be my first meet and I don't own anything brand or all that super super nice really, I think the best item I own is my petticoat haha.

Also im allergic to shellfish (but not regular seafood) but I don't want to tell them because they're all very excited to go to this restaurant.

>>8954861
Sometimes you cant help that the weather played out badly for you and rescheduling can get complicated. But I get what you mean.

>>8955078
You dont need to make them not go to the sushi place because of you, but make sure you can eat the food. Be responsible enough to make your allergies known so people can be accomodating.

>>8955070
My comm has done multiple meets at arcades - they are usually well received. do it anon, I'm sure people will be interested

>>8955116
Seconding this. Arcade meets are fun--especially if your comm allows other Jfashions at meets.

>>8955106
I never make anyone do anything, but usually if I mention my allergies people get overly accommodating and then they get bitter at me even though I have never once asked anyone to change their plans for me.

So now I usually lean to just not saying anything at all and just keeping my epipen on me.

>>8955070
My comm hosts meetups at Gameworks very often. Do it!

>>8955142
Don't be a child. Adults can speak up for themselves. Let the restaurant know you have a shellfish allergy, they'll accommodate you.

I'm so frustrated with my comm when it comes to meets.
>Live in a town with
>2 cute tea rooms
>A speakeasy themed cocktail bar
>Amazing photoshoot locations
>But no one wants to have a meet here because it's a hour bus drive away from the "main" city
So we usually just end up stuck meeting in the same places. I might try hosting a special ILD meet somewhere fancy, but last time I tried anything like that only 3 others showed up. At least we had a fun time and got some amazing pictures.

>>8955078
Like >>8955153 said, act like a dang adult. Probably no one is going to really care what you wear and if they do they probably won't say anything. If you have an allergy, eat something else, eat before, let the staff know, or don't go. There are always other meets.

>>8955070
I'd say go for it! I've been thinking about hosting an arcade meet but I don't want to get my burando sweaty from DDR.


>>8955335
I know this feel. I wanted to go to one of the tea rooms in my town for June ILD but some girl already planned some meet at the boba place. It doesn't help my comm is already pretty slow.

>>8955078
>>8955142

I understand that it's nerve-wracking going to your first meet but please trust me when I say you're honestly going to be just fine.

Also, you're an adult with a medical issue. Just let the server know when you place your order and make sure you have whatever emergency medicine you need (epipen, whatever) is on hand and keep it somewhere within easy reach so you or someone else can get to it if you need. I'm a vegetarian and while it isn't the same, most sushi restaurants have non-seafood options if you are worried and want to forego it entirely. Most places at least have a couple noodle/stirfy/hibachi dishes. It's not that big of a deal at all to tell the restaurant you have an allergy; most places have placards or notices on the menus that say to alert your server if you have one.

If you aren't asking to change plans, than the other people don't really need to know, you just need to (and should) tell the restaurant when you get there. It's not as big of a deal or will be as inconveniencing to others as you think, trust.

>>8955070
If other people are interested, you should do it. I've hosted a bowling meet before and people had fun.

>>8955078
Call the restaurant and find out what you can safely eat since you have an allergy. Make sure you have epi-pen and meet hostess knows of allergy but that you have taken proper precautions to avoid the allergen yourself. Test-wear your coord in advance to make sure you are doing your best with it. Then go and have fun!

>>8955070
Some might, I would find it immature but I would not mind at all if someone hosted one in my comm either. I would just RSVP no politely and go to a different meet. Not every meet has to suit everyone.

>>8954861
Agreed about the hot picnic meets, ugh.

My favorite meets are teas.
Something that annoys me about meets is girls who don't have proper coord wanting to still come or whine because of clothing expense or meet expense and go all TMI on their RSVP post. Please just quietly click the 'no' button and come when you have a coord/can afford the meet.
Don't be a downer for everyone else.

We had a recent lolita sleepover in our Comm. It was p fun. There was brolita who decided not to attend. I can understand why. He's not a creep, but he keeps a personal space around the other lolitas. He and some lolita's bf who dresses up in ouji from time to time went arcade bar hoping in the city in normal clothes.

The sleepover was productive as we shared stories about waifu trashing and playing Idolm@ster. We learned while playing Truth or Dare one of the lolitas has a crush on the brolita so we're preparing to set him up on a blind date soon.

Can we do a poll?
>about how many members are on your comm page
>about how many relatively active members
>about how often does your comm have meetups a month (or how many a year)
>about what percentage of these meets are meets that people actually want to attend

>>8955861
Starting out:
>about how many members are on your comm page
300
>about how many relatively active members
20
>about how often does your comm have meetups a month (or how many a year)
1.5
>about what percentage of these meets are meets that people actually want to attend
50%

>>8955864
I feel like this is AZ except

>about what percentage of these meets are meets that people actually want to attend
10%

>>8955898
> 10%
More like 1% because almost all the meetups happen in fucking Tuscon.

>>8955861
>about how many members are on your comm page
~130-~140
>about how many relatively active members
20-30
>about how often does your comm have meetups a month (or how many a year)
Once a month
>about what percentage of these meets are meets that people actually want to attend
60-70%?

>>8955861
>about how many members are on your comm page
100
>about how many relatively active members
10?
>about how often does your comm have meetups a month (or how many a year)
Small meets, once a month
>about what percentage of these meets are meets that people actually want to attend
Probably 100% want to attend, but things get in the way I guess.

>>8955335
Funny, I don't remember typing this. So Cal by any chance?

>about how many members are on your comm page
140

>about how many relatively active members
10ish

>about how often does your comm have meetups a month (or how many a year)
1 every 3 months or so

>about what percentage of these meets are meets that people actually want to attend
Most I guess

>>8954831
I just want my comm to have more meets. Anything will do. Once every 2-3 months is not cutting it. The few events there are tend to get canceled or the mods try to plan a meet 5 days before the event which leaves me no time to request time off work.

Has anyone done a meetup where they brought a non-lolita friend with them to the meetup and dressed them in lolita? Thoughts?

>>8956813
A girl in my comm always does this. only one of them ended up joining the comm and liking lolita, all the others just end up being ita tag-alongs. If they were dressed better I wouldn't have a problem with it.

>>8955929
Nah, not even in the US.

>about how many members are on your comm page
300 or so
>about how many relatively active members
About 30, but 10 of those are new people who are still kinda ita. They are slowly improving though.
>about how often does your comm have meetups a month (or how many a year)
Once in a blue moon, maybe 1 every 5 months or so? I don't count just meeting at conventions.
>about what percentage of these meets are meets that people actually want to attend
People want to attend all the meets, but usually only a handful of them make it to every meeting. I think our biggest one was about 15 people.

>>8955898
Nice guess
I sort of agree, especially since the comm is so large but just kind of... Lurky. I feel like the mods should try to encourage/organize better meets than "come check out my jewelry" or "go to a fucking zoo in the middle of summer" but even the meets that sound nice tend to have low turnouts. I don't want to say anything because no one's getting paid or anything but it's kind of a downer.
>>8955900
Is that you, revolution-chan

>>8955861
>about how many members are on your comm page
A bit over 200

>about how many relatively active members
This is where I'm not sure. "Main comm" meets get anywhere between 10 and 30 people, depending on the event, and people rotate coming to meets based on scheduling. But there's also smaller groups within the comm that do their own thing. So anywhere from 75 to 100, I'd say. The other 100+ are either from the outskirts of the comm and don't show up often, or are new and building a wardrobe.

>about how often does your comm have meetups a month (or how many a year)
There seems to be at least one meet per weekend, though the size varies. There were two this weekend, and one mid-week, hosted by different people because not everyone could attend the same ones, and it was for a specific festival/event.

>about what percentage of these meets are meets that people actually want to attend
It seems like every meet hosted has some degree of turn-out. There was a mini-meet last week for people who work weekends and couldn't go to the festival, and I think they had about 8 girls show? Most meets have at least a dozen attendees, and meets planned well in advance have had up to 50 turn up all at once.

Our comm is pretty good about getting meets off the ground. The problem is getting people to show up on time. There's always at least a few stragglers, though it's rarely the same people each time, which I always find odd.

>>8955861
>about how many members are on your comm page
400
>about how many relatively active members
30-40
>about how often does your comm have meetups a month (or how many a year)
2
>about what percentage of these meets are meets that people actually want to attend
80%

>>8955767
That sounds so fun I wish my comm was this close

I'm probably outing myself, but I cohosted a tea meet at our other mods house that ended up going on for 7 hours.

Aside from the tea and standard outfit shots, we played that game where you guess the card on your forehead from hints you get from asking the others at the table. We ran out of the cards I brought so we had fun coming up with lolita related topics for each other.

I thought it was a very successful meet.

>>8957027
Dominique? Hell no lmao

>>8957027
(I'm 8957630 btw)
Honestly, I wish Arizona was split up into at least two separate comms. It's annoying seeing the majority of meets that I actually would like to go to in Tucson, and imo, there are just as many girls in the Phoenix area as there are in Tucson. Honestly, it's not worth it imo driving two hours down to Tucson one way, either. I wish I could do something about it, but I haven't been able to attend enough meetups to have a proper say about it.

>>8957639
Here we go again

>>8957639
In what universe are most or even half the meetups in Tucson, anon? 3/4 of the currently shown meetups are in the Phoenix metro area, one is in Tucson. In March both events were in Phoenix. In February 2/3 were in Phoenix. If you want more Phoenix meets or you think the currently available meets are boring, plan some your DAMN self. A lot of the veteran girls who used to spend a lot of effort herding cats to plan meetups are burnt out. Take it upon yourself to plan a meetup or three and maybe you'll have something new to bitch about - how fucking annoying it is to plan meetups for these flakey cheap bitches.

>>8955900
No they don't, and you continuing to bitch about it shows how recent to the comm you are.

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>>8957639
You are literally the one that thinks all the meets are in Tucson, it's mind boggling how you even get to that conclusion. The girls in Tucson have had to commute to Phoenix for years, it's only been within the last year that the Tucson comm has had more than like 5 active girls.

If you're that ass pained, make more meets in Phoenix than there already are? I will never understand this

>>8957639
Are you new? You can show who you are by quoting your own post ("I'm >>xxxxx") And there's a Northern AZ and AZ, so there's already 2.
We definitely talked about this before. By splitting the comms into two small ones, you'd probably lower the activity on the FB page and we'd have even less meets, and more shitty ones too. Girls between Tuscon and Phx are friends anyways. Stop trying to make the "ita free" comm.
We should probably aim to be more like >>8957029 considering the size and number of active members. The group would probably be less fragmented and lethargic then.
The issue is not meets in Tuscon, it's the lack of proportional participation in the phx-valley area. The comm needs more damn meets, from what this thread shows. Host one.

Sorry to everyone not from AZ, we need to set revolution-chan on fire.

>>8957677
I have a couple ideas for meets, but when would I ever do them?

>May to September
>desert sun will melt brand into puddle around body whether you are indoor/outdoor
>seriously, will not get into brand for anything at this time for fear of damaging
>October to Feb
>too busy with holidays
>also cooleg
>March to May
>????????

It is a serious WIP though.

I always think the desert is tough to do lolita with, but they manage it in Australia?

>>8956627
You could always host your own meet up.

>>8957690
Not all of Australia is a desert anon, lol.

The outback areas are the least populated. I live in Victoria, and it's all green and very suburban. The weather actually gets very cold here for a lot of the year, it's only ever hot in the peak of summer.

Very similar for NSW + South Australia, Queensland and WA are more tropical but still manageable.

>>8957696
I figured this question would pop up. Only mods can host events in my comm.

>>8957690
Indoors should be fine, why not? You'll sweat regardless outside, but it's very well air conditioned everywhere here. Almost everyone drives or gets a ride in an air conditioned car. The only issue if we have to walk outside a while between buildings, that's a discouraged. Meets at night work as long as it's a Saturday or maybe Friday.
What are your ideas?

>>8957700
Stop forgetting about the stupid island. We have the most similar weather to Vic.

>>8957709
LOL I'm genuinely sorry, I always forget Tasmania.
I went there once on holiday and it was just as chilly and grey as home, I actually kinda liked it.
You guys get it even worse than we do though in bad winters, I feel for you.

>>8957705
what on Earth?

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>>8957700
I am really not sure about anything in Australia I will be honest

>>8957717
I'll give you points for the Kangaroos, there are a lot of them.

I think everyone just forgets that the bottom of Australia is quite close to Antarctica.

>>8954831
>picnic meet without screaming ita weebs
livin the dream
For some reason my comm's picnic meets attract more itas and outright cosplayers than any other type of meet, especially if there's a blooming cherry blossom tree anywhere in the vicinity. Is it because picnics are seen as more casual so they think it's okay to show up in a cheap eBay costume?
I just want to eat handmade sandwiches and pick flowers with other lolitas without having to deal with Mikus screaming about their kawaii shota husbandos

>>8957705
That sucks

>about how many members are on your comm page

600

>about how many relatively active members

50 ~ 75 members

>about how often does your comm have meetups a month (or how many a year)

1 ~ 2 'public' meetup every month. 3 ~ 4 meetups every month if you would count private meets.

>about what percentage of these meets are meets that people actually want to attend

75 %

>>8957712
Worse in winter, but generally pretty similar to vic in the other seasons. Our hot days feel hotter, however, because of the ozone thing Went to the mainland on a 40C day earlier, spent the whole time at the beach without applying sunscreen and I'm pale af. It was fantastic. I want to exist anywhere but here in summer, basically.

>be giving out goodie bags at meet as a thank you for attending
>goes out to store to get little items to put in the bags
>cashier asks if I'm getting ready for a child's birthday
>just laughs and doesn't say these are for people in their 20s

>>8955861
>about how many members are on your comm page
A bit over 200
>about how many relatively active members
About 10-15 girls that are super active, about 30 girls attending meets
>about how often does your comm have meetups a month (or how many a year)
Once a month regularly, then maybe 1 other smaller meet (like a picnic or hitting up a restaurant)
>about what percentage of these meets are meets that people actually want to attend
I'd say 80%? Most people want to attend the main monthly meet, and the meets outside that are much smaller. If it's a really well planned event (like you need a reservation paid ahead of time) and there are limited spots, they fill fairly quickly. Lately, I've never seen us NOT meet our minimum to break even on reservations.

>>8955861

>about how many members are on your comm page
500+
>about how many relatively active members
20ish
>about how often does your comm have meetups a month (or how many a year)
Once a month if lucky
>about what percentage of these meets are meets that people actually want to attend
Judging by recent RSVPs and the number of cancelled meets because of low interest, I'd say 1/3 or less. There are probably only about 4-5 meets a year which more than just 5 people really want to attend and most of those are con meets.

>>8955861
>about how many members are on your comm page
120
>about how many relatively active members
5
>about how often does your comm have meetups a month (or how many a year)
1-2 a year
>about what percentage of these meets are meets that people actually want to attend
15%

Here's a question for you all: how was your first meet? Be it hosting or attending. My first meet with my comm was one that I hosted.

>2014
>I'm 18
>new to comm
>decide to host meet at zoo to meet other members
>people rsvp yes
>super stoked
>day of meet comes
>me wearing dumb bodyline dress with pink twintail wig and looking ita as fuck
>waits at entrance for people to show up
>wait for an hour
>one person shows up
>she's 12
>her mom brings her and asks me to pretty much babysit
>hell

Back then I thought that the members were so rude for not showing up, but I realize now that it was probably because I had just joined the comm not long before hosting the meet. I'm hosting another zoo meet this weekend and I'm hoping for the best.

>>8958935
>12 year old

I feel meh about total underage bans but this is why I think comms should at least have a 15/16+ age limit if they want to keep it open to younger members. We're not babysitters, and for a parent, I have no idea why you would just leave a 12 year old with a group of random strangers that isn't an "official" group like something linked to school or some sort of organization that specifically does outings for kids and stuff.

>>8955070
One of the most fun meets I've ever been to was at an arcade/fun center.
Lolitas ran around in those plastic hamster balls and it was a blast.
Definitely don't wear your best burando though. I have an old somewhat unflattering skirt that I don't care about that I only wear for activity meets.

>>8955861
>about how many members are on your comm page
800+
>about how many relatively active members
I'd guess 60-100
>about how often does your comm have meetups a month
Usually 3+ a month
>about what percentage of these meets are meets that people actually want to attend
I've never been to a public event with less than 15-25 people. So probably 50-75%

>>8957746
Picnics are the cheapest meets.

Some of the posts here got me thinking about hosting a meet. I'm pretty new to the fashion, though, and I've never hosted before. Any tips?

I wanted to do an arcade meet like what >>8955070 mentioned.

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>>8958943
>Lolitas ran around in those plastic hamster balls


Oh man, I'm trying to picture this. I wish I was there.

>>8958003
iktf

>>8962322
Just suggestions, but stuff I've found works well over the years:

>give people a "we'll meet at ___ and leave at ___" time that's at least 20 minutes ahead of when you ACTUALLY need to do anything; someone will always be late
>give out your mobile to everyone attending; there's a FB option to "PM attendees" for events, which only gets sent to people who chose "going"
>don't do "interest gauging" posts, just create the event and go for it
>find a co-host if you can, so that you're not trying to herd everyone on your lonesome
>plan out nearby, equal-cost alternatives in case something goes wrong (ie: arcade is booked out for a party or something)
>book ahead if you have a group of 10 or more
>provide info on public transport or parking in your event info; people are lazy, and if you don't provide this info, I can promise that someone will either not show up at all, or be late

>>8962351
Thank you!

>>8962350
>hamster balls
oh shit I know a place that has these, but it's also a general athletic activity center/gym
>buncha people in frilly dresses surrounded by sporty people in jerseys
>lolwut

>>8958942
I think 16 is reasonable for a public local comm. That way you don't really have to allow moms tagging along to make sure their precious pumpkin is ok. Sometimes that's a real downer to have a noob and their 'so what is this lolita thing all about anyway?' mother along.
I prefer 18+ comms and desu 21+ meets so if we go for drinks any time we aren't automatically excluding by age just because of a bar or club being the venue. If I host, I sure don't want to be responsible for under 18s though.

>>8962322
Co-host before you host and get an experienced meet hostess in your comm to help you out on your first one. Everything other anon said plus knowing how to make reservations and posting a link to the menu if going out for food and making sure anyone with a special diet or food allergies knows it is their own responsibility (not yours) to check with the venue for suitable things to eat.

Make sure everyone knows the venue tipping policies for groups (some places automatically add set-price gratuities for parties of X or more) or that 15-20% is usual (in the US at a sit-down restaurant).

>>8958961
>800 members
Holy shit anon, where are you from

>>8954831
If picnic meets were nice like this, it might be fun. Tired of weird cold soggy food and shitty sweets. If your comm members aren't good cooks why have potluck picnics?

Had Lor fly down for our Japanese Festival this weekend, we had a meetup with her today.

>>8964006
I'd guess HLC or one of the NYC groups. They're huge, but mostly "padded" with non-lolitas, members who have moved away, or people who joined to watch some drama.

>>8955861
>about how many members are on your comm page
~220
>about how many relatively active members
~15-20
>about how often does your comm have meetups a month (or how many a year)
Maybe 4 or 5 a year
>about what percentage of these meets are meets that people actually want to attend
60%, it's difficult because everyone's so spaced out. So even meets where people want to go can be poorly attended

>>8964091
How was that meetup?

>>8964104

It looks like a lot of these comms, even ones with 200-500 people are padded. If there are hundreds of members but only a few dozen regulars I'm not sure what that says about how lolita comms are organized. Does anyone's comm have a minimum meet requirement I'm in a niche anime club that does but it feels like something that would be hard to implement on a large scale.

>>8958942
We usually allow 14+, and we've had the good fortune to have no trouble. As well as that, one of the first admins of the group was 14 and she was great, so we're pretty open as long as members are prepared to not act like they're 7, and goodness knows we've had people 20+ like that...

>>8955861
>about how many members are on your comm page
200
>about how many relatively active members
Maybe 20-30
>about how often does your comm have meetups a month (or how many a year)
1-2 times a month
>about what percentage of these meets are meets that people actually want to attend
70%

>>8964617
Our comm has 200+, but we also have an application process that was put in place a few years ago when we kept getting a lot of photographers or the like trying to join. The comm was basically purged of anyone inactive, out of state, or no longer/never a lolita.

You now can't get in without being a lolita and within the same state. Not everyone shows up at meets, but it has increased the activity level on the comm page a lot (in good AND bad ways) and increased the number of meets per month. Still hard to gauge how many of those 200+ are active when you only meet 20-30 people at a time, and don't go to every meet though.

>>8965265
Several lolitas I know travel to neighboring states to attend meets, do you not allow those to join or do they just message your mod and explain that they are out of state but would actually be active members?

>>8955106
Alternative plans for weather are common in places that have summer storms, it's not that difficult. Wet and muddy and still trying to picnic? Just no, I'd cancel or if I arrived and it was like that, side-eye a few of my friends and we'd leave and go someplace decent. I've shown up at a crappy meet before and 'suddenly been called away'. It happens.

>>8965276
They don't join the main comm, but generally know someone in the comm to plan a meet around their trip. It's rare we get someone visiting who doesn't know somebody to set things up on their behalf. That said, we have two members who semi-exceptions. They're part of the comm page, because they're originally from our comm, their families still live in the area, and they attend at least two meets per year when home visiting. But casual visitors from interstate generally just message a friend and say "hey, I'll be in town soon. Any meets on?"

Lolitas who travel for conventions, etc. generally just arrange meets around the con pages.

I'm hosting a tea party soon for the first time and am realizing there's going to be a lot of empty time. Do you guys enjoy activities for tea parties or do you prefer those saved for more casual meets like picnics? If you do enjoy activities, are there any games that you like in particular? Also games that you hate? I know most people despise ice breakers at this point.

>>8965315
Unless the game has a secondary purpose (you have a guest of honour and the game allows people to interact with them) or reward (such as winning team/player gets a prize), don't bother. Just let people socialise freely.

>>8965315
I like bingo at tea parties. But I like party games in general, unless the comm is full of awkward potatoes without basic social skills. Why do people hate ice breakers? The only complaint I've ever heard about a local tea were that it was a little hard to socialize when sat with a table of people they did not know. 2 people said this and both are pretty new to lolita and shy.

Does your comm have friends-of-friends who aren't registered with the comm but show up at/want to come to meets? How do you handle that?

>>8965348
My comm requires that they too are dressed the part in aristo, ouiji, or lolita regardless of their involvement.

>>8965326
>>8965337
Since this is a fairly small tea with no special guests and small raffle prizes, I was thinking it might be fun to have a mini lolita themed game show, with questions like identify this brand/print, general lolita history, etc.

>>8956813
A girl in my comm brought a friend to a meet up who was interested and she just wore really nice dress clothes. After talking with everyone she decided she wanted to take the plunge and start wearing it.

>>8964006
I'm from SF.

>>8958942
I'm ok woth 12 and 13 year olds if they are with an older sibling. Like we had a girl in our comm who started at 12 and she was with her older sister who was 16 or 17 at the time. They both were and still are such sweet girls. And i have been guilty of bringing along a 12 year old. My youngest sister loves Lolita and she admires my friends who wear it. So Ive put her in brand, given her a wig of mine to wear and taken her to meets when she is in town.

>>8958942
all of our comm is 18+ except for one girl who is 13/14 and her mom sometimes takes her to the meets to make sure her daughter spends her afternoon with decent people. but she's really nice and mature so no one minds her age.

(of course the one time when her mom wasn't here is the one time our local creep showed up.)

I´m a massive noob and I just got a ticket to Under the Sea tea party for my birthday. I don´t even know what a tea party is all about, you just sit there and have tea and food with other lolita´s? What else happens, why is it so expensive? Thinking of selling my ticket but that would be rude to the person who gave it to me.

>>8965286
Oh, I joined another comm's FB page (they're in a different state--at least 8 hours away) after meeting a handful of them at my local con. I'm randomly visiting them soon and will be in their city again for their local con, so I figured I'd join so I could arrange to hang out with them. They're super friendly and it seems to be the norm for lolitas in my state to join their comm.

>>8966038
It's expensive generally due to:
1. Venue
2. Quality of produce tend to be higher, generally lots of small nice foods
3. Generally some nice table wear
Basically, you're paying for the experience. I feel like selling a gift would be kinda rude...

>>8958942
dunno, i started years ago in our comm when i was 13, a bit of an ita but nobody ever had an issue with it. i guess if they can behave themselves it's fine.
also we've had a super lovely girl who was just 14 as well!

>>8966075
Yeah, I think so too. But I also think another lolita would have way more fun there, I hate smalltalk, don't know anyone else going and I think it was sold out really fast. I'll go tough, I was just wondering what to expect.

>>8964415
pretty neat, glad to see shes down to earth and easy to talk to.

>about how many members are on your comm page
643
>about how many relatively active members
I don't know because I just joined
>about how often does your comm have meetups a month (or how many a year)
I think around 10 meet-ups a year
>about what percentage of these meets are meets that people actually want to attend
From what I've seen so far, only around 10 people go to meet-ups, but there is a harry potter meet when the new book comes out and already 40 people signed up!

I just recently moved here and I never went to any meet-ups in my home country, but now I want to start going because I don't have any friends here yet. I've been wearing lolita for more than 5 years but my favourite style is casual lolita and that's how my wardrobe is.. So I wonder if I wouldn't be very welcome to meet-ups and big events because I only ever wear casual lolita?

What substyle would you all say is the most popular in your comms? I was surprised to see that my local comm was predominantly gothic since I honestly thought sweet would be the most popular.

>>8970549
Mostly gothic? That's awesome, anon. My comm is dominated by sweet--pretty much everyone wears sweet prints in more "mature" coords or standard sweet. I'm often the only person wearing black in a sea of pastels (but they all look cute.)

>>8970549

It used to be sweet but now it's just Ita.

I preferred it when our comm was snobby, maybe. It was a little bitchy but nothing I couldn't handle.

>>8970549

If "bag lady" was a Lolita substyle I'm pretty sure that's what my comm would be defined as.

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>>8957722
I find going out as a group and doing an activity is more fun than a picnic.
Pic related.

I'd love to do an aquarium meet sometime though.

>>8970599
Midwest?

>>8971135
This actually freaks me out because I've heard kangaroos and wallabies can freak out and really hurt people. But went to an aquarium meet once and it was awesome! It was nice and cool inside, we all had marine themed coords, and we had a nice turnout.

>>8970549
Definitely sweet.

>>8970549
Depends on whether you count the itas. I hate to admit it, but even though socially the comm is pretty level, there's probably 3 tiers of fashion-sense. Infin-ita, perpetually-awkward, and usually-decent. I can't think of anyone who looks stellar 100% of the time.
For itas, they're usually sweet, awkwards are probably gothic, and the decents are usually classic-sweet

>>8970549
I have a lot of sweet and gothic in my comm. Though a lot of people also wear classic. I'd say sweet dominates, but many of the members who have been around for awhile switch it up and wear a variety of styles.

>>8966528
I think it's inappropriate to wear casual lolita to big events and meet-ups

I feel like all me meet eventually just become this big friending session, and then you've got maybe a close knit group of people who share similar values . And then you stop going to the big meets because desu the bigger the group the more butthurts tumblrina and itas there will be....

>>8972784
> how did i get that many typos in a post. why is there a random desu in the middle of the sentence.

>>8966528
I'm guessing Dutch comm? Casual is okay. Multiple other girls wear a more casual style. It still needs to be recognized as lolita, I guess. The only real dress code is always just lolita. A good casual outfit is also preferred over an OTT bad outfit. We aren't very judmental, though. We definitely have way more meets than ten, but not all are posted on the comm page.

Would it be strange to make a group announcement that everyone who has attended at least one or two meetups is free to host one? I feel like the only one who hosts them, but I don't want to feel like I'm "pushing" it to anyone else. We've always let anyone host but in the last year or so nobody else has bothered.

>>8970549
OTT sweet dominates my comm. We have a few that wear gothic (myself included) and a couple that wear classic.

>>8970549
My comm used to be predominantly gothic but now it's mostly sweet, whereas the more experienced members have turned to classic. Our itas are mostly sweet and sometimes anime-style BxW gothic.

>>8972785
If you abbreviated 'to be honest', that gets wordfiltered to 'desu' since a while now.

>>8972843
Can I ask why certain meets aren't posted on the comm page? I can understand if they're private meets, but then you wouldn't count them as comm meets in the first place right?

>>8971506
I mean I think kangaroos are much bigger than people expect so they do have the potential to be harmful but I think if they're in an environment where they have a lots of space and are well cared for, the chances of that would be slim.

>>8973423
>>8971506
Not to mention that most kangaroos in "petting zoo" settings aren't the big reds, but rather little tree kangaroos or the like. They can hurt you, but only about as much as a goat or sheep would in a similar setting. They're more likely to run away if you're annoying them.

You only see the bigger ones at zoo walk-throughs that specifically say "stay on the footpath, do not pet/do not approach/do not whatever" and they stay a good way away from you. At least, in my experience. Private farm situations or the like could certainly do differently.

>>8973405
There like two to three girls who scare everyone away if they put themselves on going. They don't matter as much at a big meet, but no one wants to get stuck with only them for a couple of hours. Thus if someone is organizing a smaller meet they prefer to keep it invite only, but a lot of the comm still gets invited, which is why I count them as comm meets. Small meets on the comm page kind off die because they are usually organised by newbies who don't know any one yet. If you want to meet a lot of people I recommend the Summer Tales Boutique meet, the twinmeet and the big summer meet up. You can go to any of them in casual, as long as it doesn't look like normal clothes. They will likely have many people attending that you can get to know.

>>8955900
If all you're gonna do is complain and not host any meets yourself, you can go ahead and leave. We don't need your drama.
I was thinking of planning a meet IN PHOENIX where we'd be going to a Victorian tea house with a photoshoot in the historic district near by for those who wanted nice coord pics

>>8975379
>11 days ago
Dude

>>8975006
Hmm this makes me wonder if I'm one of those girls because I've never gotten an invitation to a meet-up

>>8975598
I wasn't invited so how would I know that was already a thing people did???

I saw the pictures and thought, "hmmm I didn't see this event on the comm page." I thought it was the stitch and bitch but that's not until next Saturday I think

>>8975743
I doubt it. I can't imagine any of them being on here. You need to know the right people, because only a few really organize them. A lot are also organised for the girls that live close by.

>>8975913
No, you dumb fuck
The post you were replying to was from almost 2 weeks ago, long after the drama had died.

>>8965348

My comm has it set up so that attendees let the host know beforehand and encourage people to dress up nicely (e.g.: no jeans, casual business at minimum/Sunday church clothes) and it's usually reminded in the event post. There are a lot of younger newcomers recently, so we try our best to welcome them and see what lolita meets are like before they can commit.

It really helps that most of our events are RSVP/requires fees (e.g.: events and restaurants), so it filters out people who are interested v.s. admiring lurkers.

>>8975913
Just check the event section every so often. If you're not a mod, you can't invite everyone in the comm only friends. Usually people are pretty cool about letting you add yourself to the event.

And if you're sick of not seeing events close to you, make your own damn event! Heck it could even be antiquing for all we care. We're just sick of all the drama.

>>8955070
>wearing doll's clothes
>worried about appearing childish

>>8976583
I think anon's worried people will accuse her of ageplay when she says "childish".

>>8964091
is lor trans?

>>8976590
For the fucking last time: No

>>8966038
It depends. Do you have a ticket for the main event or the small teaparty?

The main event isn't like a typical Lolita teaparty, normally at the SFE events there are only chairs for the VIPs and no tables at all, it is more like a mini-convention with panels, fashion show, ruffle and sellers. Food is also only for VIPs. It's big with over 200 Lolita's.

But the small teaparty on Sunday is like a typical Lolita teaparty with nice decorated tables and tea and so on.

>>8975743
If you just moved here it's probably because the people that organize them don't know you yet, as many only go to selected public meets. If you can read or write, aren't a loud know-it-all ita, and aren't a crybully you're safe.

>>8976808
I'm a different person from the girl who moved to holland from another country. The only meet-up I've been to there were only 5 other people. I haven't been able to go to other the meet-ups that were on the main page because I sometimes work on weekends. I must say I feel pretty left out knowing there are several meet-ups a month but whenever I ask when there are meet-ups I'm told to check the agenda that is never updated.

I know gulls will say "stop whining and plan your own meet-ups!" and maybe I will, I just want to attend more before I start organizing something myself.

>>8976899
I understand if you feel a bit left out, but I also get why people don't always like posting them on the comm page. We have such a large group and some people don't get along or occasionally just want to hang out with close friends. Private meets are more a way to get quality over quantity. If you just want to go to a small cafe or celebrate your birthday then you don't want to invite 600+ people you don't know. I think one thing that might have ruined comm page meets is that some people put themselves on going without planning to commit to it. Private meets are a lot easier for the hosts since you have more control over who and how many show up. You can also choose a date where you are certain many if your friends will show up, instead of a poll strangers vote on that might not even be really planning to go. Soon there will be many large meet ups where you can get to know many other girls. You don't have to make your own meet-up, I actually wouldn't recommend it if you are new. Just go to the larger meets first, mingle, make friends and then you'll notice more meet ups. Larger meet ups usually end with some groups going out to eat afterwards, they are also good ways to get to know people further. Large comm meets are for getting to know each other and smaller private meets are for when you already do.

>>8976918
I get only inviting people you like to private meets. I was mostly responding to this
> a lot of the comm still gets invited, which is why I count them as comm meets.
If it's a comm meet and you don't invite newbies, then of course those people will feel left out, 'cause well, you are leaving us out. We all see the pictures and people talking about it afterwards. But the only meet-ups I've seen on the comm page are the harry potter one, japanese garden and a fashion show. That's three meet-ups and I can't attend two of them because of work. The other one I don't know yet because it's so long from now. That's my problem but then don't pretend like the Dutch comm has several meet-ups a months if they are all private and stop telling people to check the loligenda that hasn't been updated since las year. I'm not counting the zoo and sushi meet-ups because it's being organized by a weeb and no one is attending.

>>8976469
I would love an antiquing meet honestly. Only thing stopping me from making an event is im a little frightened of multiple petticoats around small delicate things. At least in my city, most of the (good) antique stores have small narrow pathwats.

>>8976899
>>8976939
Only 5 people? That's a pretty normal number despite our large community. You aren't the only one who can't always go to certain meets. Most of the meets in our comm are too far away for most of the comm, too expensive for some, or they have to work. Most comm members are students who have classes during the week so meets are during the weekend.

And if people don't know who you are they have no reason to change things about their meets to suit your wishes. We don't have too spend time with you. Private meets are just friends going out for tea most of the time, 98% of the comm won't be invited either.

>I'm not counting the zoo and sushi meet-ups because it's being organized by a weeb and no one is attending.

I can tell you haven't in the comm for a long time if you haven't run into her yet because that weeb is our biggest meet killer and one of the first reasons why people would rather host a private meeting. Most meets are small meets and at small meets some people are just way harder to tolerate, thus when certain people are going the meets will probably die out shortly after. Having a private meet is sometimes necessary if you want it to succeed.

>>8977184
Not from your comm or area but why don't you just kick out the meet killers. It sounds like it'd benefit your comm.

>>8977653
It's difficult. The girl mentioned is a woman with severe autism who can't even read or write, she's basically a nine year old. I'm pretty sure she doesn't really know what lolita is either. Though she sometimes sexually harasses people she doesn't understand how her own behavior affects other people. I guess the mods feel sorry for her.

A few aren't in the comm but try to go to our meets from time to time. In this case it's up to the organizer to remove them but they don't want to cause drama and they often don't end up going anyway. Others are people that are very difficult to tolerate but being very annoying and embarrassing isn't against the comm rules.

My comm is full of cheap people who refuse to spend over £20 for a nice day out.
Or the vegans will bitch about how zoos and aquariums are so cruel, so it narrows down our choices. Plus there's so many fucking flakes, that planning things is almost impossible and our most popular meets are cheap, casual ones.

Please, I'm begging you Mana-sama, give me a decent comm.

>>8977184
You are not really understanding me. If you didn't make the comment I initially replied to, please read it for context. I'm not attacking private meets, I just think they shouldn't be counted as comm meets and the Dutch comm doesn't have many comm meets.

>>8978162
>basically a nine year old
>doesn't really know what lolita is
>sexually harasses people
Kick. Her. Out.
You're not being paid to take care of her, you don't enjoy her company and she's making people uncomfortable. Sure it might hurt her feelings but that's not really your problem. Why should an entire group of people be made to feel uncomfortable just to spare one person's feelings? If her autism is really that severe she'll probably forget about it pretty quickly. Kick her out.

>>8978577
Agreed with this, to be honest. If the meets aren't open to the entire community (even if it's for a good reason) then they're not community meets.

I want to host a meet at a big park outside of my town that has a working historic farm (mostly just a petting zoo now) and Victorian mansion and gardens within the grounds. Everything is well kept and all the paths are paved and even, so exploring the area isn't something that you'd get really sweaty and dirty doing.

The only issue would be lunch. Would it be weird to ask that everyone pack a lunch for themselves?
The only restaurants nearby are fast food, most people in the comm have special diets or are just picky, and there's always a ton of food at our potlucks that ends up wasted. From a practical standpoint, it'd be hard to do a proper picnic because there's nowhere to stash blankets/coolers/food while you walk around. And we're all a bunch of cheapasses anyway so it'd help not to have to blow $20 on a bunch of food nobody ends up eating.

>>8985128
That doesn't sound like a weird idea. I'd open the floor up that anyone that does want to bring something for everyone knows what sort of item to prepare, but otherwise pack lunches is fine.
Pardon Amy typos, I am toasted.