local lolita comms

> Log onto FB
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> New entry in Lolitas from anonville
> "I boughy the cutest flower berets from *insert cheap ass grocery store here*= today!!"
> Picture of a six pack of shitty satin flower clips
Seriously, nothing against the girl or offbrand finds. Those can be really nice if one's lucky but not every fucking floral hair clip are loliable.

Petition to stop talking about Marian/Angel in the AZ comm so that we can stop feeding her victim complex

How often do you get people showing up to meets who aren't wearing lolita ('lolita at heart' or otherwise)? It's happened a few times in my comm and I find myself wishing a dress code would be enforced, but we all know how that would go.

>>8903260
>signed

>>8903622
Only rarely. Usually it's someone's SO or a friend who is interested in the fashion, but not ready to commit. We also have a few older members who used to wear lolita, but move to other fashions/don't wear lolita as often. They will drop in on meets after work, or the like to say hi.

It's rarely a problem, really. Most "lolita at heart!" types stick to conventions or the other comm in the city.

>>8903622
It happens often in my comm but I'm okay with it depending on situation and who the people. I think it's fine if the person(s) at least contribute to the meet in a positive way, such as conversation rather than just not speaking hardly at all cause they're not in Lolita. Or anybody who just wants to get a feel of the community and make some friends before they dive into the fashion. However, I don't care for the ones who come to meets and NEVER dress up and just whine and bitch the entire time because they don't have any dresses.

>>8903622
We often get a few for each meet. Lots of them are trying, but end up pretty ita and use a lot of discordant "loliable" stuff. We have a lot of young members. I don't really care, as they are still fun to hang out with and there are some really well dressed people as well.

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I know nobody cares but I like to use these threads to vent.
Long story short, being Admin/founder of a local comm for a little while.
>+30 members
>Little to no participation
>Most the time is just me posting and 1-2 people replying
>Have to cancel meets several times due to no one going
>Plan GOs but no one joins
>Afraid comm will die soon
I've already tried reaching to my Kawaii embassador who told me "you can't control what you can't control."
All I wanted was to have a comm so newcomers could get excited about the fashion, grow together and go out in our frills.

>>8903645
Are you in TX? Because the rest of us in TX are sick of you whining all the time. You can't force a lolita community.

>>8903645
Dude it isnt a comm if no one is meeting up. You cant make people hang out with you.

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>>8903651
>>8903664

Yeah! stop whining. #youcantforcelolitas

>>8903666
What the fuck is this supposed to be. Just stop bitching on /cgl/. Also as a general rule you probably shouldn't use your e-mail on 4ch if it has your full name.

>>8903260
>"stop talking about it guys!!"
>keeps talking about it

>>8903260
Petition to stop talking about the AZ comm

>>8903260
>>8903624
At this point you guys are far more cringey than her. Give it a fucking rest.

>>8903645
Some comms die. Some just take a lot longer than others to develop, especially in less urban areas.

Have you thought about the factors that may contribute to the reasons why it's dying? It seems like a lot of the time newbies are also young, so they're either not very serious or just can't afford to build up a wardrobe, let alone go out for meets.

Like >>8903664 said, it's not really a comm if no one is meeting up. Maybe you can spend more time focusing on your own wardrobe and participating in the biggest comm nearest to you.

>>8903725
We've had 2 "successfull" meetups, in the sense that I didn't have to cancel them. The comm isn't in a rural area, but it's no big city either.
Thank you for providing some insight, I really appreciate it.

>>8903733
Good luck, familia. I was in the same situation for years.

Another thing you could do is actively wear lolita on your own time and hope to run into people who are into the fashion.

Can someone tell me about some of the European comms. I'm going there soon and was wondering if I should try to meet with any of them.

Austria, Spain and Italy are of particular interest.

>>8903718

signed

where is the one az girl who comes into every thread saying no one talks about az??

>>8903774
Will do, thanks again Anon!

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>tfw you love lolita fashion
>love the effort put into the outfits and love how it shows
>tfw you want to meet lolitas and just talk about the whole "subculture" or whatever you call it because hearing people talk about it in person is a nicer way to learn then just reading up online

>tfw because you look like a college football player (i am) you cant approach lolita meetups without being seen as someone who just wants to hookup

This is the bane of my existence.
I just want to talk with a group of lolitas and hear them talk about coords and shit. Ask them why they are in to it, etc etc. But i can't because i know ill just be seen as a pervy dude trying to fuck.

Smh senpai
>pic related

>>8903868
learn2ouji or learn2aristocrat or shut up and stop whining.

>>8903871
Thanks familia

I've got a weird question.

So I live in a major metro city and there's a big well known group of lolitas here. I haven't joined the comm yet but now I've got most of a wardrobe together I feel like I can finally join the comm and go to meets.

Here's my question.
How much trouble will I have joining a comm through facebook if I'm not using my legal name?
I don't want to have to make a separate account just for lolita but I also don't want my boss finding my facebook. I have a really unique name that he's already googled once and found nothing because I don't use my real name for stuff like social media.

>>8903868
butch queen

>>8903812
But omg anon they're so totally drama free and perf.

>>8903889
A lot of people do that actually. Let the mod know your situation and how you want to introduce yourself.

>>8903868
Honestly
Meets and comms are just normal girls dressed cute. It's disappointingly not fancy or subculturey. They literally just talk about whatever, makeup, politics, restaurants, anime. It's more like an excuse to wear the shit you buy.
Are you super tall? If you love lolita so much, just buy some dresses and live your dreams. At least one full coordinate, wear it to a con or somewhere where you won't look to out of place. Or just put it on a mannequin in your room. As for the subculture aspect, /cgl/ is probably the best place for lolita talk.
Or you can be the guy who has one unwashed outfit and goes to meets over and over again.

>>8903910
Really? even thought its against facebook policy?

>>8903889
>>8903936
It's rare that Facebook takes action against someone for having a fake name on their account. Only blatantly fake names tend to be targeted (eg. Rosie Palm or Koneko McKawaii or something). If you just use a psuedonym, Facebook generally doesn't do jack shit.

Three of our comm members use names that are different from their real names. Two use their actual first names, but fake last names, the third's name is entirely fabrication. None of them has had an issue, despite using Facebook for years under those names.

>>8903942
Oh but see I am using a pretty out there name. It's a nickname and none of my friends mind so I haven't been reported but I figured joining a comm where people didn't know me, yeah, I'll probably get reported for it.

One of my friends was using a fake name as well, that was more username than just a pseudonym and someone reported him and his account was deleted by FB.

I thought he'd left the site until he popped up again one day and told me what happened.

Sounds like I'll need to make a separate new account then?

>tfw some newbie posted an introductory post along the lines of "Hello frilly darlings! My favorite substyles are steampunk and neko lolita! Can someone tell me where to buy these clothes?" but with more spelling errors and emoticons, of course
>lots of replies by the comm's standards
>expect dramu where someone was too blunt and OP (or another sensitive snowflake) is freaking out at them
>turns out it's actually 30+ posts of various people encouraging her and sharing their own favorite 'substyles'
>all girls who I've never seen at a meet, while the well dressed meet regulars are notably absent
>other discussion posts in the comm don't get nearly as much traffic as this itafest
I wonder if the veterans in my comm are slowly giving up. I know they're still active in the fashion itself and with their friends but aside from the admin they practically never post in the comm FB anymore. I don't really blame them but I don't want to see it get taken over by ita weebs either.

>>8904044
This isn't my comm but it sounds like it. I'm a mod of my comm and I don't even care about the itas. At this point there's more people who dress terribly and have no clue how to act in public than there are actual lolitas, and they love calling well-dressed girls "stuck-up" or "brandwhores" when they try to offer guidance, even if it's not aimed at them. Why bother with it?

>>8903889

I know multiple girls in multiple different comms that have had issues with stalkers in the past that use 100% fake names on FB to avoid being tracked down. You're hardly alone. Let someone know what's up and if they're not a total jackass you should be cool.

>in bathroom at local con a few months ago
>two people come in, I'm in a stall so I don't see who it is
>one girl starts screaming, like honest to god screaming at the top of her lungs, about "that stupid little bitch"
>realize she's flipping her shit about one of the young girls that participated in the "anything goes" fashion show
>(basically a cosplay fashion show meant to be characters wearing jfash versions of their regular outfits or something, like five people showed up to watch it)
>starts going on about how "that little bitch needs to show me some fucking respect"
>"She's fourteen fucking years old she needs to respect her fucking elders"
>"She's not in the comm but if she was I would post her shit on /cgl/ and drag her so fucking hard"
>She's in like her late 20's
>screaming in a bathroom about how a teenager that has never met her before didn't pay her some unknown quantity of respect
>don't leave my stall until she's gone because I realized about a minute in who it was and didn't want to deal with her shit

this is why the portland comm can't have nice things

Was really excited to join the local comm since I moved here but the majority of the members seem to be total itas. I feel like some of the girls could do so much better if they weren't spending their money on drugs. They're public stoners and it's not even legal in my state.
I'm not about to tell others how to spend their money but I've already heard two of the girls mention financial reasons being their excuses for owning replicas.
I feel shallow but I just can't stand them.. I've gone to a few meets but I think I'm back to being a lonelita again.

Really wish members would stop treating the comm page as their own personal diary.

It's always just people I have honestly never seen at a meetup in the five years I've been in the comm. they are always just random itas with nothing significant to contribute.

Not Arizona btw

>>8904067
Yeah, remind me never to move there

>>8903800
you know that most countries have more than one comm right

just use your brain and the comm google doc, and then ask about the specific ones you're interested in

>>8903958
just change your fb name to something reasonable, so that people such as myself won't report you for being named princess meowmeow-chan kawaiidesu
I've had fake names on fb before for safety/anonymity (one of a kind full name) and have never had an account shut down, because I don't name myself something like benefuck cucumber or desudesu neeflower. my personal tip is to pick a lesser-known secondary character from a book or something, with a reasonable name. or make up a normal name with some random name generator.
and before anybody asks or bitches, I report blatantly fake names because it's a shit system and should be flooded as much as possible. facebook's real name policy made me lose access to my first account because I didn't type out my middle name, and my passport was apparently not enough proof of my identity.

>>8904044
I feel like as a veteran there are so many newbie itas you help steer in the right direction that eventually you just run dry, are tired of drama or being called snobby by helping, and you just want to chill with your own established friend group.

>>8903800
Austrian here. Our biggest comm is based in Vienna and we like to welcome visitors. Just drop us a message on our fb page and we'll arrange something. I think we're pretty drama free, nothing more than the usual minor troubles that happen sometimes when people get together. Over all, we're a pretty inclusive group and many of the members are friends with each other.
If you're not going to Vienna, there a comms in Linz and Graz as well, but they are tiny in comparison.

>>8903684
You seriously need to calm the hell down.
Why are you so pissy that anon wants to attend meets with other lolitas and shows actual concern that their community is dying?
Why don't you just get out of your community if you don't plan on attending meetups or clicking "going" on events without actually showing up?

Anon, I would make a new community and recruit people that wont flake out on events and will show actual interest.

>>8904044
It's so hard sometimes. You want to punch the girl posting a tutorial for "kawaii neko ears totally fit for sweet lolita" in the throat, but at the same time you're afraid that even super gentle criticism will come across as patronizing and elitist and will scare off all the decent newbies. Sometimes it's better not to say anything at all and let the itas vanish with time. They always do sooner or later.

>>8903889
I have a fake name on my Facebook and had no trouble with my comm. I just told them all my real name in my introduction and nobody cared.

>>8904194
Soooo... because something didn't work out for you, you took it out on everyone else?

>>8904450
par for the /cgl/ course

>>8904067
Any hints who? I'd like to avoid her.

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>>8904083

Red eyes aren't kawaii.

>>8904450

I think the idea is that because it's a terrible system, if Facebook have to deal with it as much as possible they might reconsider it.

>>8904450
you didn't read my full explanation did you

and yes, basically what >>8904569 said. I have 0 issues with a normal name (come on, how the fuck could I even confirm it), but there is no reason you *have* to name yourself something retarded. I've seen people who literally have their facebook middle name as 'Carroticecream'
bonus points if ita or insufferable weeaboo. yes, I'm sort of a prick, but it's facebook's problem for caring about it, and I'm providing a service to future employers by giving them the ability to google the weebs and nope out in time :^)

>>8903930
This. I've met people from other 4chan boards who have a much more distinct subculture than the comm lolitas. Not that the girls from my comm aren't fun to hang around with, but it didn't feel *that* different from my college friends.

>>8903622
Someone came to a Harajuku fashion meetup in my city wearing jeans and a hoodie. Said she wanted to get into lolita but jfc.

>>8904527

Not the person you're asking, but it sounds like Yi. Even if it wasn't Yi in this case, you probably want to avoid her anyway. She tried to spread a rumor that a friend of mine hailed Hitler at her at a meet a few years ago when all she actually did was ask her to sit down so the waitresses could get by.

>>8904726
She wasn't in that fashion show, was she? I thought she was just in the lolita one?

>>8904153
>Not Arizona btw
It doesn't sound anything like AZ why would you even mention it?

>>8904856
She was in both. But ngl, I think it could be a few different people.

>>8904255
Because she posts in like every comm thread. And her comm isn't dying, it doesn't exist. Also
>Why don't you just get out of your community if you don't plan on attending meetups or clicking "going" on events without actually showing up?
?? What's your reading comprehension, I don't even know what you're talking about. I don't live in her city hahaha, Also
>samefag

>>8904906
I think it exists but has low participation

>>8903645
You need to just accept your comm the way it is. Do you get along with those 1-2 people? Are they actual lolitas and good company? There's nothing wrong with a small, tight-knit comm, especially if you become good friends. Sucks that there aren't more people interested in J-fashion but you could at least appreciate the members you do have. Or reach out to nearby comms and plan joint meetups.
>speaking as someone who was a lone lolita for several years

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Who lonelita here?
I dislike meetups or any kind of social meeting involving lots of people.
I live in Belgium,Brussels and the comm is half snobby bitches/rich kids/famous girls (Lunie and Beescuit?) And eventually one or two girls cool enough to fit in their secret club.
On the other half is lol-itas,weaboos, tumblr fatties,...So nope. Not going to get involved in either.

Though i like being in my own bubble,rarely speaking to anyone besides my dog,family and maybe 3 people online nearly everyday or so. I like that a lot. But it can get lonely so i sill have some lolitas and jfashioners and stuff on my facebook/instagram,i post pictures,speak sometimes,.. So this way i have my share of attention and it's fine. I might go out and see a lolita friend or a friend and go to a con or something but it's on really rare occasions. Also less money spent on going out mean more money for lolita.

(Sorry for the retarded english. Am french)

>>8904960
Ah and don't even get me started on Tea Parties. I might as well take a dress matching the wall.

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>>8904960
I'm about to become a lone lolita, but even that could be a problem.

I'm moving soon for work related reasons in a major city. The company no longer wants me to telecommute after multi-year sabbatical from their onsite location and I'm finally done with college. The Comm is quite huge. I have a feeling I'm going to be apart of the 'rich comm'. I'll be living a wealthy neighborhood and I don't want to commute from the suburbs since I'm young and single. Due to the secrecy of my work, I want to keep a low profile and I don't want them to find what I'm doing. Certain cliques often have private events so doing lone lolita events might even be a problem. They seem to be great people working hard, lolita hard, and doing events outside of lolita.

I wonder how can I avoid them. I'm friends with several of them.

>>8904960
I've gone to a few meetups but somehow I feel like there's this "barrier" between me and other girls. It's not that I don't get along with her, a few complement my coord and I usually manage to find a small group to join when in a big meetup, but I never feel like I'm fully integrated. I only manage to make small talk for 5 minutes before being kind of forgotten and just "being there". I've only made like two friends in the comm. Though I guess it's different from your case since most of them are nice and gentle, despite being a little bit too tumblrina for my taste. I don't particularly blame them, too; feels more like the problem is with me than them. Most of them dress well too, but idk, I think I'll end up lonelita'ing more by myself in the future.

>>8904067
this happened?! I missed that fashion show. Damn...

>>8905091
You did not miss very much. Yi is always insanely bitchy. The show was full of bad outfits too.

>>8904875
Because I didn't want anyone being assblasted at me for some reason. Looks like that failed.

>>8903241
Can relate

>>8904875
because there have been multiple people who have used the comm page like it's their personal blog?

>>8904960
Lunie and Kitsch are real sweetheats, but Beescuit and Dody make me want to avoid Belgium like the plague.

>>8904726
>Yi
Ok so I was in the comm only a short time and know there were two girls going by very similar names, is Yi the tall older one that was involved with the one mod or is it the younger hyperactive one that was always whining about being excluded somehow?

>>8905385
Yi's facebook name used to be Yi Antoinette, Antoinette is the alias of the tall one dating one of the mods. That's where your confusion comes from.
Yi is literally crazy and accuses other comm members of being racist, transphobic, ableist, etc etc etc. She's like the worst of tumblr SJW put together. I wish she would get on medication or something.

>>8904960
I'm lone, too chicken shit to join the comm since I'm pretty sure the comm leader has something against me (she doesn't know I'm into lolita, but we're in some other groups together) and I don't believe in my coording skills yet. plus I might be moving soon and don't want to tear up my heart even more in case I somehow manage to get along with any of them

>>8904960
I'm a lone lolita but I feel like I don't have to be. My comm seems generally drama free and most the girls were nice, but I feel like I'm holding myself back. I had a huge ordeal a few years ago where I must've cut off like 20 friends total, some unfortunately being really close to me and all turned very toxic. I'm really still affected by losing my entire friend group and rebuilding from scratch, which is awful to do for someone who's already an introvert. My social life never really fully recovered and I've sort of become a recluse.

I just don't want relive some lolita version of all that, so I've made myself kind of a lone lolita instead. I hate being lonely feeling sometimes, but honestly, I can't help but think it's better than drama. I think I'd need to start slow and get a few chill online lolita friends before jumping into a big local meetup. I have real issues with groups now.

Is the Dallas, Texas comm okay? I am moving there soon and applied to join the group. Don't know if they will let me as it still says I am where I am now and haven't posted any lolita pictures on FB.

>>8904960
wew lad, thanks for steering me away, I guess.
Low tolerance for unwarranted self-importance.

>>8905347
I haven't seen much of that recently. The only one who I've seen do that a ton was M and those two cosplay noobs, but that all stopped several months ago after the mods got tired of it and updated the rules to get rid of unrelated clutter and made haul/coord threads. I dont fb religiously, but i do pop in now and again to see whats going on.

>>8904153
We have this same issue on our comm page too and its really annoying. If I was a mod I would have said something long ago but it seems like they dont care.

>>8904584
So you are on board with getting rid of people who have unique names.

My friends boyfriends name is actually Wolf. Like it really says that on his birth certificate and on his id, etc. You know how many times his account has been reported because of a dumb facebook rule?
My name is similar to that situation. I can not help what my parents named me and I'm not changing my name because facebook has enacted a dumb rule.
It's a fucking social networking site, why does anyone have to use their real name?

>>8905906
m8, you have to be dumb if you don't understand what I'm talking about at this point. I'm not going to report a name if there's any fucking chance it's real. if your name is something like Wolf Smith, I don't give a fuck, but if it's Steven Wolfunicorntiger Smith-chan, I'm sure as hell going to report it.
you also clearly didn't read the part where I said I agree it's a dumb rule, and the reason I'm doing it is so that facebook would stop enforcing it when they've had enough of the shitty reports.

>>8905958
>>8905906
not to mention, I literally fucking said I have a one of a kind name myself, and have had fake names on my accounts before - I just don't name them retarded shit and everything's good

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>be TN lolita
>make plans for Opry Mills every other week
>nobody cums

G-guess I'll go be kawaii alone then.

>>8905398
>>8905385
>>8905249
>>8904726
Wait is yi really that bad? I met her a few years back and she was fine. All I knew about was the cockroach incident.

>>8906055
I heard she was kicked out of the comm

>>8906026
Where in TN do you live anon

>>8906196
Nash

>>8906026
>cums
really anon?

>>8906149
She hasn't been banned, I think she's on her last strike. She should have been kicked out a while ago, but she's very good friends with one of the mods so they let her off the hook way too much and use her mental illness as an excuse for her shitty behavior

>>8905398
I get so uncomfortable whenever she's around at meets. She goes around and compliments every person's coord but then shit talks about it behind their backs. I heard that she once made a girl cry at a meet too.

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>>8906260
She must have some interesting lolita friends.

>>8906324

For real though, the first time I ever met her she was wearing a little kid's first communion dress to a meet and thought she was hot shit? She was talking to a friend of mine and as soon as she was done she turned around and the smile fell off her face so fast you'd think she'd smelled a rat. She needs to go. She's fucking nuts.

I don't like hosting meet ups. I wish my comm members would stop asking or volunteering me to do this shit. I don't give a flying fuck and a half if they think I'm good at it. Have an idea for a theme? Wish we had more meet ups other than the main comm ones? Want an excuse to wear your new jsk? HOST YOUR OWN MEET

I don't want to be a shining star or a leader in my community. And honestly, all these extra meet ups just suck out the fun for me. I just want to dress up, show up, and look cute. Is that so much to ask?

>>8906342
I feel like my comm is the same way. It's always the same handful of people who host meet ups and everyone else just has super great ideas for them. I'm going to be hosting some meets and I hope I can take some of the stress or pressure off of the other girls who do it all the time.

>>8906324
The lolita community can be pretty Mean Girls, eh?

I'm still kinda new and have only found nice people so far, but some of the gossip and shit can be high-schoolish.

>>8906358
Why can't we just take turns? I feel like they're just spoiled little brats who just want to have fun but don't want to put any work in. Why suggest ideas if you're not willing to turn your dream meet into a reality?

>>8906371
The thing is is that unless it's some huge tea party or something, I feel like hosting a meet is not that difficult. So it's really just laziness. I personally would feel really awkward suggesting someone else host a meet that I wanted...

>>8906364
It's not the whole comm, just this one crazy girl. She's not even popular, I'm pretty sure most of the comm dislikes her because she's mean and looks like shit.

>>8905349
UGH DODY
This girl is such a fucking bitch. Holy shit.
And she looks awful in sweet lolita with her middle aged mom face.
Bee is sort of a bitch too. That and she think she is hot shit for modeling for GLW when really she is pretty boring out of it.
Lunie is sweet i guess but she seems kinda...pedantic? Idk. But she is from a rich family so...
Never talked to or seen Kitsch though.

>>8905088
>somehow I feel like there's this "barrier" between me and other girls. It's not that I don't get along with her, a few complement my coord and I usually manage to find a small group to join when in a big meetup, but I never feel like I'm fully integrated.

Fucking same. I don't know i just...don't feel right? Maybe this is my Asperger talking but i really feel different from them.

>>8905636
Lots of well dressed girls. Some on the annoying side, others on the more mature side. I'd say it's a normal balance of the two, nothing too spectacular.

>>8906055
Oh ok so she IS cockroach chan. That straightens things out.

>>8906026
Did you join the TN lolitas Facebook page? It's p good.

>nobody cums

Ffs

>>8906342
My comm only wants the mods to create and host meets so we're lucky to get one every few months. We have two mods and they're constantly busy. The members have good ideas for meets but if the mods can't be there to co-host then thats too bad. Its tiring for the same handful of people to hold events so I think this rule is horse shit.

>>8906196
What about you, anon?

>>8906055
what was the cockroach incident?

>>8906867
She brought her "pet" cockroach to a meet.

>>8906913
>>8906867

To a meet that took place in a restaurant.

>>8903622
our comm has a desscode rule that beginners who don't have a full coord yet have to come at least "inspired", so normie shit is not allowed

>>8906857
Can't anyone make a private event. Maybe even not invite the mods. I can't imagine them being able to oppose someone organising a birthday meet for example.

>>8906913
Yeah and everyone was okay with it beforehand and waited until aftewards to bitch and moan.

>>8906857
If only the mods in my comm could make events, we would be going out once in a blue moon. I think part of building a community is having regular IRL contact with other members. At first, a lot of us were afraid of hosting meets without telling the mods, but one of the members just started doing it out of the blue and others followed suit. How old is the average member of your comm? If you guys are all adults, I think its pretty stupid that you need a mod to chaperone every meet.

>>8907168
I was there and I didn't know she brought it until someone made a secret about it.

I don't have anything against plus sized lolitas, but some of the bigger girls in my comm do not know how to dress for their size. Seeing people squeeze into brand that barely fits or buy replicas instead of just getting something that would fit them better from an indie brand makes me sad because I know they could look good if they weren't so hung up on having brand/popular prints.

>>8906959
Oh I thought it was a meetup at a picnic. Either way, groce.

>>8907324
gross*

>>8907104
>>8907237
ELITISTS! EXCLUSIVE MEETS ARE MEEEEAN!


In all seriousness, just make meets without mod permission. What's the worst that happens? They ban you from the comm that doesn't actually bother to have meets in the first place? Big fuckin' deal. It's not like they can bar you from seeing people privately even if they ban you.

Get your frills on and have fun with your comm, girl.

>>8906913
was it called Siu Keung?

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>>8903622
A few of the newbies showed up to my comm and I don't know if they are not wearing lolita on purpose or think they are wearing lolita. Pic related

>>8908378
I think that's a jab at ouji.

>>8905958
>the reason I'm doing it is so that facebook would stop enforcing it when they've had enough of the shitty reports.
But that helps enforce their rule, dumby.

>>8908378
This is a girl? Holy hairline.

>>8908378
Hopefully they'll realize it when hanging out with lolitas in a group. Thankfully there are plenty og well-dressed girls, too.

>>8905636

It's hit or miss, as are the coords. There will be periods of lots of activity and then some with hardly none. Meetups at anime cons are popular. The other meets are really more of what the individual members want to create. Mods make meets sometimes, but there's no real leadership in insuring there are meets. Expect meetups to be things like a convention gathering, the occasional swap and sell, mall or some type of non-fancy shopping, and food. No teaparties really. Birthday meets were really popular at one time but I think they've either fallen out of local favor or have become private.

Because the overall group is so large, it can be cliquey at meets. If you show up well dressed, you'll have no problem getting involved in conversation. It's unfortunate, but I've noticed that if you're new and not well dressed, people tend to almost completely ignore you (even though some of those girls are really young and could probably use a good lolita role model). I would love to see our comm implement a Big/Little Sister program to help new lolitas and create a better sense of community. Again, because the group is so large, its a real mixed bag of who shows up to meets.

>>8903889
I have mixed feelings personally about the name rule thing. On the one hand it sucks to think that your prospective jobs will try to find you, like why? Even in fucking Japan people are allowed to have privacy in their private lives. On the other hand so many cringy weebs use it to try to make people think it's their real name or dumb shit like making their names Sakura Ayumi Neko Chan, which is pretty disgusting.

Most of my friends have either different last names or have their names changed slightly with everything private, but most people don't care unless the name is cringe.

Another fun fact, one of my friends got their account deactivated a few times even though his name was legit, no one knows why.

>>8907666
>ELITISTS! EXCLUSIVE MEETS ARE MEEEEAN!
dude my comm loves to cry this, it's such a pain in the ass. We have to invite the entire comm the meets, and cannot exclude anyone. Which in theory wouldn't be too terribly bad but they extend it to age-related exclusions which means I can never host a frilly wine tasting meet up

>>8909033

This is just my opinion in general, but If people want private events that's something you organize with a small group of friends and don't share publicly. Posting pics is bad taste, too. The whole point of a lolita community though is to have a community, and that would include inviting everyone. I've got no problem with the concept of private meets it's just when people share them all over social media and it becomes very clear that were was a lolita meet, just not one open to everyone. It can create division in a community very quickly if the idea of "secret meets" becomes known. it's also very frustrating and difficult for new people to break into a community if there's the atmosphere of secret meets.

>>8909132
Yeah I 100% get that but my comm seems to take it a step further. Like say someone wanted to have a meet up to go see an R-rated movie or something. The comm wouldn't let you do that because some members are under 17

Like I get that excluding certain people is rude but wanting to do something such as a wine tasting or other age-restricted events with your local comm should be fine.

>>8909132
Well you can't be upset if a group of friends hangs out and posts pictures to social media. If I do a tea party with my friends, I'll post pics to my Facebook.

>>8909148

Well, if it certainly looks like a small group then no, you're right. I guess I meant it more in the way that if the group looked big, like it was more of a "selective invite" type of gathering. There is a very fine line between private friend gathering and secret meet and I guess it's just more of size.

>>8909146

Completely agree about the age thing. It's ridiculous that you can't have age restricted things. I could see where it might be a bigger issue if your community was like 90% teens but that's a different problem altogether.

>Cool meet idea. Lots of people interested
>Event page made.
>First person going is the annoying dramaqueen.
>Everybody else waiting it out until she won't go anymore
>She will go because she doesn't get invited to other meets and she still thinks people like her presence

I wish there was a way to silently block the meet killers so we can actually have meets again as a comm. Everyone is only hosting private meets or meeting at cons.

>>8909007
I agree with you. I have my FB set to my real first name with a similar but fake surname so that I'm not so easily found by people at my job and would be really pissed if my account got deleted for that. At the same time, though, it drives me nuts to have to communicate with someone calling themselves "Senpai Uke".
>yes, there was actually someone in my comm referencing weeaboo gay porn in her FB name
>she's changed it, though, fortunately

Does anyone else try to keep their lolita friends separate from everything else? How do you keep them separated?
I have a different persona when I'm in lolita. I don't try to be all **~teehee oniisan kawaii desu ne~** but I try to keep the shitty parts of my personality to myself. But it's getting to be a bit much now because I have this one friend who's trying hard to integrate himself into my everyday life. It's really off putting, and gives me major anxiety because I don't want to lift the veil and blur the lines. Having him push so hard to be my every day friend makes me want to take a break from lolita... I get messages from him every day, tagged in things every day. Not to mention he acts differently at meets every since I invited him to a party I was hosting with my non-lolita friends. Looking back, I probably shouldn't have muddied that line. But he caught wind of the party and asked if it was okay for him to come.
At meets, he clings onto me for dear life and gets sassy if I'm giving someone else attention. He also talks to me in a condescending tone sometimes, I'm not sure if he is doing it on purpose. I don't really have the social etiquette to handle this gracefully, so I'm open to suggestions. I usually just ignore until it goes away, but I don't want to hurt his feelings. He's a good person, but I like my privacy...

>>8909184
>if it certainly looks like a small group then no

From personal experience: group size doesn't matter.

Friend of a friend's boyfriend threw her a surprise party for her birthday. One person wore lolita because she went to the party after a meet that was on the same day. Photos went online via a few other lolitas who were invited to the same party, but were dressed in regular, normie attire. People screamed exclusion and elitism and private meet.

The girl whose birthday it wasn't even a lolita. She's a cosplayer that said lolitas know from conventions. She wasn't part of the comm. It wasn't a lolita meet. But because someone wore lolita, and a couple of other lolitas attended, people got their feelings hurt and demanded to know why they weren't invited to the "private meet". Who has a cry over not being invited to the birthday party for a girl they didn't even know? So I've given up giving a shit about whether people get their feelings hurt by "private meets", because someone will always feel slighted and left out, and that's their insecurity to deal with. Not mine.

>>8909184
What can you call a small group though? If I hosted a tea party for just my friends in lolita, the attendance would be larger than what most comm meets are. You're victim blaming here. I shouldn't have to avoid photos because someone wants to feel butthurt.

>>8909002
>I would love to see our comm implement a Big/Little Sister program to help new lolitas and create a better sense of community. Again, because the group is so large, its a real mixed bag of who shows up to meets.

I'd actually be up for helping with that, or even coord helping activities. I saw we do have that polarizing effect with outfits, It came out with the attendance at the New Years versus Christmas meets. I hope the community starts to get more active in the spring and early summer. It's too quiet right now.

How is the Denver Lolita community/con scene?

>>8909677
There's a few itas who post on the fb group a lot, but most of the girls who show up to meets are decently dressed. Little to no drama for the most part.

>>8909632

I'm not sure if this is something we can bring up ourselves or would have to go through mods. I personally have a lot of uncertainty about the role of the mods in our comm. I feel like this should be a top down initiative, but I also don't want them to drop the ball on this or to nix it because they personally don't want it (I have no idea how it would go over, not trying to say they will nix it). I've kinda had an unofficial Big and Little and it's honestly the best way to improve and get critique, is to have that person you trust. I'd love to be able to share that with other girls just getting started.

I'm not the best at socializing, I'll admit, but at New Years it was very clear there was a table for the people who were better engaged with the mods and then a more newbie/ita table. Not all the girls at the mod table were well dressed, but the disparity was pretty obvious. I've been to two meets within the last few months were almost no one talked to the ita but obviously really young girls.

The more meets we have, the more chances these girls will have to improve. There were a few this winter but didn't look well attended. This fall seemed really active, and the weather has been quite mild. Hopefully there will be more meets (looking forward to the gardens personally).

>>8909677
I really love the Denver comm. it's full of great girls. Some of them are shy, some are a bit too loud for my taste but I'm kind of an introvert. But most of them are easy to talk to.

Most of the itas that post on the comm page don't even come to meet ups. But many of the girls who come to meet ups are very well-dressed, friendly and kind.

There was a tiny bit a of drama between two friends, but I think that's been resolved now and wasn't related to the comm. there's a few other itas that kind of make a spectacle of themselves sometimes, but it's nothing like cockroach-chan levels of crazy.

Overall, Denver is a good comm that has frequent meet ups and a really excellent mod team.

>>8903645
You can try polling your members asking some questions about what direction they would like the comm to go, why members are inactive and just be honest and tell them what you've posted here.

>>8904083
It sounds like a pretty sub-par group. I don't blame you. Is there another comm in a nearby place?

>>8904240
This. I'm done helping noobs. I just tend my own wardrobe and my friend meets where we all already know what we are doing.
But...
I know several good Lolitas who really DO enjoy helping noobs and do it right so I can throw the noobs I meet to them.
Everyone wins.

>>8903868
You have the wrong idea about what goes on at Lolita meets. RL Lolita =/= online Lolita. We don't sit around talking about 'the subculture'. I've seen a few try that but they get weird looks and are kind of seen as more 'online weeb person' than Lolita. A meet is just more like a frilly fashion party than anything else.

>>8909132
As long as a comm has fairly regular public meets, people need to suck it up if they are not invited to additional private meets that friends host with and for other personal friends. And no it is not in bad taste to publish your photos on your own page. Go host a friend's meet of your own and grow up. Quit creeping on others' personal lives, their photos and stop being such a jelly whiner.

>>8909873
I'm pretty sure they meant posting pictures on the comm page.

>>8909934
That is still ok, to post photos in your comm of you and/or your friends going here or there in Lolita. Since when are you expected to invite the whole comm every time you feel like getting together with a few Lolita friends and dressing up? And why wouldn't you show off those coords in your comm just like you would any other kind of Lolita coord you wore? Comms aren't JUST for posting official comm meet coords/photos. This 'oh it's exclusive/elitist if you don't invite EVERYONE' attitude is just simply bullshit.

>>8909148
This

>>8909944
this. all day.

>>8909944
Different anon, but assuming all those who attended are friends, I don't see the need to share it on the comm page. I think on your own personal page is enough.

>>8909358
Either you be upfront and say like you need your privacy or maybe be too busy to see him out of lolita? Like it's not really a lie if you make plans or say you're doing homework or whatever you do with your life. That's just advice I'm giving from personal experience. He'll either get the picture and back off or if he persists then don't feel you have to handle it gracefully if he's not? It is a hard situation to be in for sure. Good luck anon.

>>8909944

In my experience as soon as people start posting pictures from friendly get-togethers where they happen to wear Lolita (rather than Lolita comm meets) SOMEONE will get it into their head that secret meets are being planned and they're the only one in the entire group not being invited because everyone hates them. We had a couple tinfoil headbow types like that a while ago that got pissy when someone posted pictures from a private party where everyone happened to be in the comm. They made a stink like you wouldn't believe, and the only way we could placate them was by implementing an "everyone in the comm gets invited to all meets ever" rule so now only admins for the group can make the event pages because that's the only way the entire comm can be invited to the event or something. I don't even know at this point, and I have yet to give a fuck.

>>8906866
also nash. I'd hit you up, but I'm not in the comm anymore. Try joining the facebook page, there's some awesome people there who'd be down I'm sure.

>>8910387
>"everyone in the comm gets invited to all meets ever" rule
Well that's just retarded.

I'm moving to Michigan soon and I want to join the local comm. Specially the mid-Michigan area. How is the comm like over there?

Is the Seattle comm pretty decent? I'm from Portland and I don't have major issues with the one here I just want to know it sea is better

>>8911540
define decent

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>Detroit
>tfw all lolitas in my city have been murdered

>>8906358
My comm pretty much leaves it to the mods to make meets and if the mods happen to be too busy they get shit talked for not doing anything for the comm.

Anyone can host a meet up....I hate this unwritten rule that it's the admins job to make them all.

>>8906857
I feel like we're in the same comm anon.

>>8910037
Comm page is for our Lolita stuff. All together, together in groups, solo. I don't see the need to censor any of my Lolita pictures in a community made for posting and sharing all kinds of local and regional Lolita activities. It was never intended for 'only official comm meet photos'. If I have a tea party, my house holds 6 people in poof nicely at my table. My comm has over 100 people. Is it some sneaky private elite meet if I invite 5 friends to my house for tea? No, it's how much room I had. And there's no reason not to post those photos in my comm. Convention teas are limited to ticket buyers. I'll post those photos in the comm. If I visit a neighboring comm, I'll come home and share my photos if the comm I visited gives permission for their photos to be posted. These groups are a general local fashion comm to, yeah...share the fashion.

>>8911438
I'm in the Michigan comm, anon. Most meets are in metro Detroit, but the last few have been in Lansing. Our comm is so chill, it's great.

>>8911610
Agreed. I think it is polite to check with a mod before hosting and posting a meet but anyone can host a meet in our comm, and we do.

>>8911646
Our comm is the opposite. Only two mods, and we want other people to host meets and have encouraged it, but no one wants to. Schedule a meet? No one shows. We had a decent turn out for ice skating but everything else, attendance is a huge issue.
The only member who has asked to host a meet on their own wanted it on a week day and baby friendly, and then still wanted both mods - who work Monday - Friday -- to do all the planning.
So frustrating.

>>8910387
Tin foil headbows. So funny.
I'm not gonna cater to them.

Small friend groups form. Not part of one? Tough shit, make a meet of your own and invite some friends you like. Or just pipe down and go to the official meets. And nope, if I want to post photos on my comm of me and 2 cute friends meeting for ice cream, I'm going to do it.

>>8911677
Nope, person who has the 'great meet idea' needs to host. I wouldn't expect my comm mod to hold a meet I had an idea for, I'd check with her about it then plan and host it myself. 'Idea people' really piss me off a lot though if they don't have the initiative and ability to implement those ideas and expect others to do the work.

>>8911704
>they don't have the initiative and ability to implement those ideas and expect others to do the work
THIS

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Could anyone give me info about the ATL comm? I've been wanting to join for years but I've heard some sketchy things/drama.

>>8911438

Also in the MI comm, can confirm it's very chill. Most meets are in the same area but there's girls all over the state and anyone is welcome to host meet ups, so you'll usually get decent turnout even if it's not near Detroit.

Does anyone know anything about Manchester?

>>8909944
I think this really depends on what your comm page/group is like. For my comm I think it would be in bad taste to post up your personal/private meet ups because the page just isn't very active. We don't really have OOTD posts or discussions on prints or lots of discussion or posts generally to be honest. To suddenly start posting non official meet up photos when some of our official meet ups don't have photo albums just feels a bit off.

Whereas I feel like for a more active online comm where there's lots of discussion it would be much more acceptable to post something like 'outfit for tea with friends!' type thing

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>>8905088
are you me

>I never feel like I'm fully integrated. I only manage to make small talk for 5 minutes before being kind of forgotten and just "being there"

fucking this. im not super active and im a bit younger than the group average so that's probably half of it, but...fuck. i got food spilled on me last time i went, too, which just makes me wanna go solo even more. unno. paranoia kicked in and shit and i was thinking they meant to do it(they 100% totally didn't). was holding back tears like a motherfucker for a bit.

i like everyone, my anxiety just fucks me out of going 9 times outta 10 after i'm all dressed up and shit. honestly even the girls who aren't dressed as well are so friendly and fun that it doesnt even matter. but yeah, i look at myself and don't feel good enough...so i just end up going for a walk in the woods so i can play the lonely princess banished to the forbidden forest, lol.

>>8912117
sorry about that last part, kind of makes it sound like i get off on my sadness. i dont, it fucking sucks and everyone must think i'm the biggest flake.

>>8907287
i would blow mr yan to see this secret! PLEASE LINK! it would make my year.

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>>8912127
I couldn't find the secret but here's a pic I found in the archives. Apparently she hid it in her tits at one point during the meet?

>>8912142
Didn't she deco it too?

>>8910868

What's even better is that half the event pages get deleted and remade because "a bunch of people didn't get invited", so I'm RSVPing to the same event three times in a row because twenty people out of four fucking hundred comm members (active, passive, and retired) got left out of the "select all" option on the invite list.

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>>8912145
No idea. I barely remember the ferret-chan scoop and I actually liked that whole thing. (Not sure if this image is the same ferret of the girl who brought one to a meet but hey, it's cute.)

>>8904584
You'll be glad I'm a weeb trash lolita with a unique name on full time salary $117,000 per year income, my government employer doesn't give two shits about my private life so suck it!

>>8912142
That's fucking disgusting.

I like creepy crawlies mostly.
Frogs? Coolio
Snakes? Awesome
Tarantulas? Pretty cool
But roaches are the sign of filth and disease. I hope she never sells anything that thing has been crawling all over. I would never buy anything that's been infested with roaches.

>>8906913
Omfg
>No

>>8912187
I imagine pet ones are cleaner or something. They scare the shit out of me the way the move (s-so fast), but that one just looks all chubby and docile. Now I'm just imagining all kinds of frogs and spiders as loli companions though. I like pretty much everything except for parasites, flies and stuff. Cockroaches and even earth worms are neat, but mosquitoes and leeches,, n,o

sage for pretty much unrelated rambling

>>8912142
I am legit terrified of roaches (childhood trauma) >>8912145
and world have had to leave the meet had I seen this. How inconsiderate can you be?

>>8909358
Are you me?
I have a guy friend like this though he's on the weeb/trash side of the spectrum. He'll be the first to like or comment on everything I do, my family, my lolita & non lolita friends had asked if he's my bf because he seems really keen. I just tell them he idolises me and doesn't have friends and that I've already had words with him to calm down but my FB pretty much feels like his interaction place with me. It's claustrophobic. I've had to tell him to not talk to me for a couple of months while I'm studying and it's great, other friends have crept out of the wood works and I can breathe again. But he's still tries to message me. Sigh.

>>8912205
Oops, didn't mean to quote the second person. Finger slipped.

>>8911603
What

The fuck happened to the LA comm? Everything is dead.

>>8912142
I have a phobia of cockroaches, I can't even expand that pic cos I would wretch and have cold sweats.

Please tell me her LM user or handle, I never want to go near her stuff without the urge to set fire to it.

>>8903260
I haven't seen anyone talking about her but for the one btb post

>>8912207
Holy shit, we're living the same nightmare anon. My Facebook has become his second wall. He's always tagging me in things and I just don't understand why? I feel like he's legitimately obsessed with me, probably because he's lonely? I don't know how to shake him because before he got creepy, he was one of my best friends. Now he's just weird. Am I overreacting?

>>8912142
What the actual fuck? That's disgusting. Why would someone want to keep one as a pet?

>>8912215
>wretch
*retch

fyi

>>8912212
I think she's just joking about how criminal her city is.

>>8911836
I agree with this. My comm is not very active aside from one mod and a bunch of newbies who don't even own a full coord, so it hurts to see a group of girls constantly post pictures of their private get-together that nobody but their own clique were invited to. The only 'open' meetups my comm has are tea parties at cons a handful of times a year where a bunch of cosplayers also attend, and I'm personally not very comfortable with cons/large groups. I've tried hosting my own smaller meetups at cafés or museums but had to cancel most of them because there was no interest. So it hurts to see these girls post pictures of their get-together at the exact same museum for the exact same exhibit a few weeks later and know that they didn't even bother contacting me about it. Of course I don't 'own' that exhibit but it feels like it would be common courtesy to at least message me to ask if I were still interested in going or something. I wish these girls would keep their photos to their own pages when they're clearly not interested in engaging with the rest of the comm.

>>8912142
>hissing cockroach
Well that's not nearly as scandalous as I imagined. Not the bringing it to a meet I mean, that's stupid, but I was imagining a regular street roach.

>>8912311
Do people actually keep normal "scuttle around a house" cockroaches as pets? I always see these big ones as pets.

>>8912205
Can't disagree with that. I guess I was just defending a roach's ability to be kawaii in general, definitely not bringing it to meets without the consent of everyone there. That's just bad.

>>8912215
I'm real sorry, don't feel icky! I don't know what it is, I only know the ferret girl was themugence I think.

>>8912292
If skeeved-out-chan wasn't in this thread I'd go into detail about their cute lil crawly legs and antennae just to fuck with you. Bringing it to meets is downright stupid, inconsiderate, etc...But they might make nice pets.

>>8912311
I knew there had to be a difference. That fella doesnt look all flimsy and scuttly like the ones outside.

>>8912269
Oh man, I think we are living the same nightmare, and you're right, it sounds like he's obsessed with you (takes one to know one!) My guy friend based all his female drawings on me and even went so far as to model a doll based on what I wore to a chav themed party. It's so hard to figure out what to say, like for me, he's a really nice guy but he's living his life through me online. In small dosage he's hilarious but when it's all the friggin time I'm so tempted to block him!

I know what you're going through, you have my sympathy!

>>8912299
Thanks ! (Only time iPhone didn't intervene on the spell check)

>>8912154
FB events for groups simply don't notify everyone when the group is that big. There's no way to fix that.

>>8912326
I think the kind people keep as pets and the house pest kind are different. The pet ones I think are Madagascar hissing cockroaches

>>8911570
Not full of itas and drama whores?

>>8912269
You could turn on the tag request setting on Facebook so everything he tags you in won't show up on your timeline until you review/approve it. Also I believe you can use the custom sharing feature on all your posts so you can share with everyone except him? Might be a good idea.

>>8912142
the point is (scandal aside) pets besides service animals don't belong at restaurant meets unless they ARE there like a Cat Cafe, etc. It's just rude to bring them and it is almost always disruptive and a bid for attention.

>>8912127
: ^ ) I'll email Mr Yan to tell him of your kind offer, email in the field please.
(this comment cracked me up, thanks. )

>>8912387
>living his life through me
I have chills, that's what it sounds like to me! The drawings, the doll, that's beyond creepy. Like playing pretend with your image...creepy as fuck
Why can't we just be cute without these weirdos trying to emulate us? If your obsessed friend also obese? If you end up blocking him, please tell me how it goes! I live in a small town so blocking isn't an option at the moment.

I'm really sad for us. This is one of the most awkward and uncomfortable social situations to be in.

>>8912603
Thanks for the suggestion, I wasn't aware that you could filter your tagged posts before they go on your wall! I'll be using that feature immediately.

I'm just kind of scared that he could go bat shit and try to ruin my lolita life if I start boxing him out. Or that he's going to harass me even more. "Are you mad at me? You seem mad. Are you mad?" I'm scared.

>>8912214
If you ever find out tell me? The last time I said something about LA's deadness on cgl someone told me to host a meet myself so I guess the mods are too busy or something?

>>8912155
yeh he's kawaii but they smell awful to those with sensitive noses and a decent amount of people are pet-fur allergic and would have to decline the invite or worse yet, get there, see it and have to leave so yeah, pets still not appropriate at 99% of meets.

>>8912711
He's a bit on the podgy side, not ugly though. He's meant to be one of my good friends but I think we both know he's taking advantage of the friendship to curb his loneliness. I've never had to tell any of my friends to back off in such a long time (I'm talking high school days here) but I know that time will come. Think of it this way anon, if he really values your friendship, he will take it on the chin and respect your wishes for 'space', but if he's going to be a bitch about it, block him. They can either choose to stay in your life within reasonable range, or they can be that weirdo that got blocked and go find someone else to annoy. It's going to be tough because I actually value him as a decent person but he's not giving me room to breathe! I'm sure you know what I mean. Good luck anon, if it ends badly for me, you'll find me whinging on the feels thread!

>>8912855
Bless you anon for your sound advice! I wish you the best of luck too!

>>8912566
We have a lot a itas, few drama whores. For the most part it's like all of Seattle where people do what they want, and others don't care.

>>8911751
Atl had some drama a while back when a member posted them on lolcow. It's pretty drama-free right now, desu. There's a lot of new girls that have come in lately and diluted the salt. They are a well dressed bunch; it's probably a bell curve in terms of coords. It seems like everyone owns brand.
>Sweet making a comeback

>>8906317
Anyone else in the pdx comm that I should avoid? I'm moving to the area soon.

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A girl who was super annoying and would beg people to buy her dresses finally got banned from the comm. God is real.

>>8913358
Wow, that was a surprise to me.

>>8913358
Which comm is it? Did she beg on the comm'so page, or on her personal page? We had a girl like that in mine, and she is also banned now.

>>8912734
LA's deadness comes from their loss of a central hub (fairytale boutique is gone) and the fact that everyone has finals/work right now. Not to say meets haven't been going on, just nothing large scale. There's the Harajuku Meet every month although it's hosted by a photographer not a Lolita, and there were some small meets for art exhibits and stuff in the past few weeks.

>>8912215
Me too, I got them one time in a shitty apartment I had and I lived in constant stress and anxiety. I became fanatical about cleaning and now my boyfriend is driving me nuts with how gross he is.

>>8913444

The San Francisco comm. This person would ask repeatedly on the comm page, on her personal page, on event pages, all the time. She would claim that she wasn't allowed to buy things online, but would say if someone could order it for her she would pay back with cash. It made no sense and it made her look like a creeper.

>>8913534
Ariella Yue is obnoxious. I feel like she's trying to scam someone. She harassed a seller into trying to sell her CDC full set for $350. Contacted people in the comm via a group message asking everyone to buy her shit.

Thank Mana she got ban.

>>8913461
Do you know if any meet ups will happen this weekend? Ill be visiting from out of the country. I would love to attend a meet up in the US.

>>8912214
Dead? There is always something going on, like almost every weekend.

>>8908378
Wasn't this last month anon?
I feel like this month was better.

>>8913220

Nah, everyone I've ever met besides Yi has been pretty sane. There's a cloud of tumblrite hugbox that hovers over the entire comm, but as long as you call people whatever they want to be called people won't be able to find much fault with you.

>>8913549
Every time she posted in an event or anything else, it was always to post an excuse or some pity post about why she couldn't go or something like that. I thought it was just me, but I guess not.

>>8913423
I'm not surprised.
One of our mods kept commenting on some of her events, and would delete her posts quickly.

>>8913358
Good riddance, she's such a nuisance to the community. At one meet she kept creeping up to people's behind to examine their dresses up close without asking for permission. She came up to me at one point and I immediately walked away because I felt so uncomfortable with someone being that close to me.

>hosting a meet to go along with a charity event in my city (bakeries and stuff give away free shit, donate a portion of proceeds to a charity) hoping to eat some free pastries with friends and then have tea at a participating location so we can give to the charity.
>newbie from my comm RSVPs yes
>said newbie posts their cringy webcam filmed youtube "Angelic Pretty haul" complete with probably the worst coord featuring a brand dress I've ever seen: melty ribbon chocolate low waist JSK in bitter, red normie blouse, black bowler hat, black leggings, no makeup, septum ring
>they're ita af but seem nice, maybe we can help them
>they post in meet event page that the original plan to go for tea doesn't seem like it'll work out, since we're such a large group and probably won't get a reservation at any of the places I was looking at
>they make a fucking event poll as if they were a host like "let's meet at one of these locations instead and just hit up the free shit!!" poll includes the tourist asscrack of our city, public transportation stops, and everywhere that would be inconvenient and tacky to meet up as options
>mfw nobody fucking asked them
>I am able to get us a reservation for tea at a tea parlor participating in the charity event.
>this newbie is taken aback that a tea service costs $40 per person (that's fucking cheap desu) and comments that the price is INSANE.
>my friend makes a sarcastic "you must be new" comment
>newbie bitches about how my friend didn't "pop out of the womb a perfect lolita" and that she was in their place once too.
>nah because my friend did her damn research and has social skills

I'd be surprised if they don't end up on BTB this week.

>>8913918
She's dumb but you might be dumber, since anyone in your comm reading this now knows you shittalk on cgl

>>8913869
Not to be rude but I almost wonder if she's actually autistic. She's not good at socializing at all and seems to display the signs of being an actual autist.

>>8913918
Top kek nice going retard

>>8913930
I'm pretty certain she is. Being non-verbal is a pretty big sign. She doesn't understand any social norms online or in real life. She seem to live under her parents' guardianship too.

>>8912214
Its a shame really. Thankfully OC comm seems to be getting more active.

I'm planning to start my PhD next fall at Ohio State. How's the Ohio Comm and Columbus in general?

>>8914578
Imo there are three distinct groups in the comm. You have the Columbus girls, the Cincinnati girls, and the Cleveland girls. If you want lots of meetups happening on a regular basis you'll have to plan them yourself since meets occur once in a blue moon and are generally more casual and inexpensive. The Cleveland side is more active but also more ita. There's really not any drama but it's not like we're buddy buddy all the time either.

Tldr it's average

>>8914578
The Columbus group is definitely the better dressed of the three areas because of people like M and J. It'd be nice if people could host more meets desu. The reason there haven't been any is because before only a few people constantly hosted and got tired of doing it all the time.

>>8903208
Anything about the Boston comm?

>>8913461
The LA meets are boring so you arent missing anything. The guy who hosts it takes pics and thats about it. He isn't into lolita fashion and people hang out, since there are no activities planned. There are a few nice lolitas and decora girls that attend but most are ita trash.

>>8913918

Wow, nice work Kat, now I'm going to avoid both of you.

>>8916774

oh come the fuck on, you're clearly somebody who browses here as well so don't be a hypocrite. I'm not even anything to do with your comm but get off your high horse ffs

>>8913918
Um ok..
>make a meet for Macaron day where the whole point is to get free macaroons. Sounds like a fun day in the city.

>Host at expensive place not participating in the event.

Um ok. And now we know you like to bitch about people on cgl. I will definitely know to avoid you as well. Maybe don't host any more meets.

>>8913869
Ngl I kinda wished I could've seen her in person. I've only ever seen her post online.
On an added note, she did manage to stalk me down on Twitter which isn't connect to my Facebook, Instagram, or any other social media. I only give it out to my close friends too so it's not like I run around telling people what my Twitter is.

>>8913918
You were an ita noob not even a year ago, you shouldn't talk.

I messaged a comm admin on facebook a week ago to try and join and they have yet to respond. Should I message a different one? Or is that too pushy? I really just want to see what's up in my area.

>>8916874
Try a different one. If you're in my area, our admins are crap and are notorious for ignoring requests.

>>8916795
There's a difference between browsing here and shittalking about someone in your comm in great detail (and no I'm not from their comm)

>>8917062
This. I like to know what is going on in a place where people can speak freely but not into posting people here.

>>8912207
>>8909358
They aren't friends, they want to fuck you

>>8917062
But everyone does that lol

>>8917160
What shit-talks people? No. Many do but many would never do that and are here for lots of other reasons. I can't deny that those situations sometimes turn amusing but I would never post someone here.

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The thirst is real. Who the fuck is she?

>>8916864
>>8916809
>>8916774
>>8913918
I'm actually really sorry about this. This shit ain't cute, and I shouldn't have ranted here. I was frustrated that they were being whiny and negative (the tea spot is participating in the event FYI) but then I reacted by being bitchy.
My coords weren't always cute, and i shouldn't be so buttmad and salty.

>>8918077
Adding that I won't be such a cunt in the future, and people from my comm reading this I hope you forgive me. Desu it's time for me to get off 4chan and repent until I can use this site without being so disgusting.

>>8918046
One of the mods of the LA comm, she's usually super sweet and kind. The post sounds kinda egotistical but I don't think she meant it that way. Just shit wording. Though the autograph session is weird not gonna lie.

>>8918077
>>8918133
You're only sorry you got caught

>>8918133
I smell fear and panic. Learn to vent better if you want to use cgl as an escape. If you keep it general enough to where people can relate, give advice, without you revealing too many personal details, this won't happen again

>>8913918
>>8916774
>>8916809
>>8916864
>>8918077

This is gonna be one awkward meet.

>>8918077
why the fuck did you even add so much detail to the story?

also those calling her out are here too so you guys don't have much room to talk either...(not in your comm btw)

>>8918310
again. It's not about being here, its about how much you share and how specific you are. No one gives a fuck if you're here.

>>8918310
There's nothing wrong with calling out someone that is acting like a jerk online and trash talking others. I'm glad when people get called out because it reminds people that you shouldn't be a bitch just because you see it online. This girl is so new to the community and she already started talking shit about others. That's the kind of rep we get and newbies start to follow it because they see it as the norm.

Also it helps me know who I shouldn't get close to.

>>8918171
>>8918287
Nah I actually genuinely am sorry and am incredibly ashamed to have stooped that low. I 100% deserve to be dragged. I am not this kind of person usually, and I know I'd be crushed if someone talked about me that way. This is not the kind of person I want to be, and as a relative noob I got swept up in exactly what >>8918443 is talking about.
Anyway, I won't be such a petty bitch again and I apologize to those I've hurt.
(lol I have hella anxiety so the anon smelling panick isn't too far off because that's just me 24/7)

>>8912195
Pet roaches are very different, hygiene-wise, from typical urban roaches. There's a reason why you are allowed to keep them as pets.

Moving to Houston in a few months, joined the comms and they seem dead. I know basic public knowledge of AM and NF and that drama between HLC and the new comm. So is everyone just hurt and unactive or is it all private meet ups now? Peeps that have been friends a long time and are just done with all this shit? If so this sucks my comm was good and actually really active.

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This seems to be new. What's going on PDX?

>>8913918
how are you this dumb?

>>8920438
Guessing with no context except pic: someone wants to purge all brown members from the comm? Build a wall around Portland? Become comm moderator even though they have no experience and everyone hates them? Openly mock people's disabilities at meets?
I can keep guessing.

Hm

>>8920541
Calm down tumblr, clearly you don't remember the reign of the PDX lolitas on livejournal. They were the queen bitches. And they went down in a blaze of glory.
Now it's just a normal comm.

>>8921697
> what is a joke?

>>8921697
I missed the livejournal days. How so?

>>8918613
you'll have to prove that with your actions over time. a girl in my comm got caught in the same shit, being too specific about something and she pulled this whole turning a new leaf spiel; we were all (especially me, i feel pretty bad about it now though) pretty skeptical for awhile but now she's well-loved in the comm

>>8921697
Can you elaborate please? I was wondering about this too. I don't get it.

>>8917108
Seconding this.

>>8913220
>>8913841
On that subject, do you know who would be easy to get along with in the pdx com?

does anyone know about the dublin comm, I'm scared to check

>>8922389
Yeah I'm in the dublin comm.
It's a really laid back comm and the girls are all super lovely. It's quite refreshing as it used to be a bit bitchy but now with all the newer girls its really a good nice comm. The meets are usually once a month and we get around 10-15 girls come every meet. Is there anything you'd like to know anon?

>>8920430
the ones who are good have meetups with their other friends, and really hardly attend non-convention meetups. You can try making friends with them at the japanese festival I guess. Otherwise, 1/2 ~ 1/4 of the people who attend regular meetup are a little ita or wierd, but its a huge comm so its fine.

>>8920430
HLC mostly has private meets now and even has two separate communities.

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>>8921697

>>8922389

>used to be a little bitchy

Lol remember when they used to do PR runs here telling everyone how nice they were? Complete with how they were better than the so-called ita comm?

>>8922368
Everyone

>>8920430
Just go to one of the bigger meets, make friends & talk to them on fb, then you can do smaller get-togethers. Houston Japan Festival is coming up soon on April 16 & 17 so you'll definitely see lolitas around there!

>>8922877
Then what's the joke? I still don't get it.

>>8923058
How does it feel to be this retarded?

>>8922890
I remember that. However all the old members have left now and the biggest bitch doesn't attend meet ups anymore. The bitchyness was why I was hesitant to joing when I started into lolita but actually meeting the girls you can see a lot has changed since newer girls got into it. It's so much more relaxed.
I think the smaller "ita" comm dissolved. Is that true?

>>8923139
I dunno, wouldn't have minded some older members bringing their stuff to the swapmeet.

>>8923139
>all the old members have left
Anon I think two people have left in the last three years, what are you talking about?

>>8923164
I thought the ones who left the comm left the fashion and sold their stuff?

>>8923139
M8 we're still around, we just got bored of trying to combat all the shite talk, might as well try to reason with a brick wall. And clearly we are quite nice, as you've seen.

>>8923213
I feel like the ra or something now, "we haven't gone away, you know".

Right now I'm watching a very mild drama unfold on my comm's fb page. Nothing serious, just a couple of girls getting their ruffles feathered over a small meet up. Except every time I see Cadence post something I dislike her more and more.

>>8923225
Caps?

>>8922435
That's a relief... I'm moving to Dublin come fall and I remember having read bad things about it.

What do you guys do for meets? It's been a dream of mine to go to Powerscourt or the Sweet Republic with a bunch of other lolitas :x

>>8922915
Really? Everyone?

>>8923233
We've had a Sweet Republic meetup before, actually. Are you coming up for college or something?

>>8923233
Oh my god, Sweet Republic. So tiny and haphazard, but the sweets! Are! Amazing!
I recently learned the Dolls Hospital in the Powerscourt closed, actually. Very sad.

>>8923233
We had a sweet republic meet not so long ago! It was great. That's the sort of meets we usually have, we had a swap meet there on saturday which was good fun.

>>8923213
There are some still left but I haven't seen some members in a while and the comm has been very chill since. So I dunno.

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>>8923226
The post was just about some girls celebrating Macaron Day, nothing special, so I just took caps of the conversation. Reposting because I forgot to get rid of a name.

>>8923233
>>8923246

We held a meet there recently (we need to do that again!), we go to events, cafes, etc. We meet up quite frequently.

>>8923255
I don't remember there ever really being tension at a meet to be honest? That's just me though, and to be fair I have been here a good while so I could just be the comm equivalent of a white guy saying racism doesn't exist anymore.

>>8923213
What are the rest of the girls like?

>>8923263
Nice, I said.

>>8923263
Nice!
Some girls can't make meets much anymore due to life/college/jobs/etc.
>>8923262
Same, the comm has always been pretty much the same in terms of atmosphere- everyone chatting and normal.

>>8923255
The comm has always been chill. It's only when people woman up and come out with us that they see the rumours were just rumours.

>>8923246
My fiance got a job in the financial sector so we are moving into the city.

>>8923256
Did someone presumably under the age of 45 seriously use a Minions reaction in the year of our lord 2016

>>8923250
Aw no! The dolls hospital was amazing, such a shame.

>>8923283
Ooh, nice to hear employment in that area isn't extinct! Congrats to him.And I'm assuming since you said "fiancé" that you're in your twenties? That's about the comm average. We have some youngish teens, but they're not the majority.

>>8923288
I know, I had hoped to pick up a miniature porcelain doll to recreate an Alienmoe-style choker, since my favourite design sold out on their store.

>>8923292
That's good. Not that I mind the younger ones, but it would be nice to make friends around my own age - especially coming to a new town.

>>8923256
Same comm, was also watching this unravel. P seemed pretty immature to me, does she even go to meets? I've never met any of the girls in the picture.

>>8923058
Back in the lj days, PDX lolitas were the shit. They had the most brand in a time when most of them didn't ship outside Japan, so they posted lots of pics of their group of friends head-to-toe brand and that was enough to be admired. They also were heavily involved with online drama and were known as bitches. Ultimately they fell apart and none of them wear lolita, only a few are still friends. Their drama was pretty intense though, involving scamming, cheating on bfs, underage nudes, etc.

That secret made me laugh because sometimes I do wish we could be "great again" as a comm, but I don't want the drama and hate that would come with it. Ultimately lolita is a completely different thing now than it was then, these days I feel like none of them would really stand out with how huge the online community is.

>>8923374
>I feel like none of them would really stand out with how huge the online community is
Truth. Especially since we know that Alice is still active and now lives in Tokyo, but no longer puts herself in the limelight. Even though she was the "model" among them.

>>8923307
It just seems like one tight-knit group of lolitas is clashing with another

>>8923307
They dont go to meets, they just post pictures of the group of them together on the comm page. Its pretty awkward since its obvious they just want attention for going out but arent participating in the actual comm.

>>8922890
The current "good" comm is pretty ita now too desu. Admittedly, it could be worse though.

>>8923239
Not really. Lots of people are friendly, but distant.

>>8923485
Is it? There are a few newbies still figuring it out, but I wouldn't say that makes the whole group ita

>>8923485
Ah. There it is.

>>8923485
Here look, you're clearly either not in the comm at all or trying to stir shit for no reason. Give it a rest.

>>8924155
Right? Someone sounds bitter. But who could it be? Truly this is an enigma.

>>8924010
In what way? Are they cliquey? Any more opinions on them?

>>8924144
Just because you are new doesn't give free pass to be ita.

>>8924155
I am just laying it out as it is since someone asked how the comm was. I think you are in denial. The quality of the comm has gone down a lot.

>>8924420
You clearly haven't been to any recent meets so......
Mind you, its unlikely you're even a member in the first place!

>>8923102
About as good as being inside your mom.

>>8923374
Thank you!

>>8924446
>impossible for someone to have a different opinion than mine! they clearly can't be in the comm!

>>8924144
This anon didn't completely disagree, y'know?

>>8924446
I agree. The flow of complaints has given the impression of someone reaching for something to moan about.

>"They're bitchy and elitist!"
>Smaller comm fails
>We absorb all their genuinely interested members
>"Oh they're so much nicer now all the bitches have left!"
>No we're the same group we've always been, you now just have first-hand experience of what we're like.
>...
>...
>"Whatever, you're all ita anyway! I'm just being honest uwu"

Well.

>>8924607
Cos all the complaints are from the same person, right?

And you aren't the same members really. Have you checked the turnover lately?

I'm laughing here because it's so easy to your bloomers twisted.

>>8924601
Why are they even in it if that's their opinion then?
And are you seriously saying that a newbie finding their footing is automatically ita enough to drag the standard of an entire comm down? What are you like.

To the anon who asked what the comm is like :
We're welcoming.
We've a variety of ages and styles.
We try our best, but we have no large events like Regalia in our country, so there's no point in going mental making coords flashy and trendy. It's still got that street-fashion feel in a way.
And personally I've made some really strong friendships among members. Those that I'm not close with, I'm at least fond of.
Hit us up, we're listed on that Google doc, and we'll go to Sweet Republic and you can see how you feel from there.

>>8924622
Well then I guess it's just a matter of opinion then. I just hate the idea of someone who doesn't like us coming out to use us as their personal salt mine.

>>8924627
There's a couple of newbies. Sure, one of them is extra snowflake..

>>8924622
I'd say that's more a matter of the comm expanding than old members leaving, though. I mean, a few have left, obviously, but most of the oldfags are still around even if they're not as active as they once were.

>>8924646
Are you just salty because you aren't in our comm anon?

>>8925305
But I am... wow.
Should I post some of the pictures from the facebook to prove myself?

An you seriously wonder why the Ireland thread gets shat up so easily?

>>8925342
Yes