Lolita Comms

My comm seems to be turning over and I couldn't be happier lol bye bitches

We only have one comm here and it's full of itas. There's only one in there that is almost decently dressed but always decides to set their brand off with terrible accessories, wigs, and shoes.

I'd love to go to a meet but... I feel like I'd be completely out of place.

I want to join my comm, but everyone that's semi decently dressed are so cliquey that I can't budge in. I don't want to be stuck hanging out with newbs, so I've failed to join. Any ideas on breaking cliques?

>>8776761
>I feel like I'd be completely out of place.
Are you implying that you dress better? If so, I would say go and show them how much better Lolita could be. I mean, if all they have to go on is one bad Lolita after another, you can't blame them for not stepping up their game. Just don't go in their all elitist and shit. Help them out if they generally want it or are interested in getting better.

>>8776779
Ah, I didn't mean it like that! I mean, I do think I dress better but I meant it more so as in I'd feel out of place because of how fancy my dresses are?

I wear sweet so you can figure what my dresses look like. But all of the people in the comm usually wear normie clothing that's bright colors. That's what I meant by being out of place.

Plus, I've tried to help before but they're all very uppity about their clothes and believe that they know best.

>>8776788
>Ah, I didn't mean it like that!
Haha... Wasn't attacking you. Sorry for my wording. It was just a question.

>But all of the people in the comm usually wear normie clothing that's bright colors.
That's.... not Lolita?

>Plus, I've tried to help before but they're all very uppity about their clothes and believe that they know best.
Screw them then. Start you own comm that's actually Lolita then. Lol.

>>8776775

Hosting a small meet can be a great way to meet girls that aren't in cliques, because the elitists most likely won't come lol

>>8776775
What's in your wardrobe at the moment? Any brand pieces? Of those brand pieces, any particularly popular or rare pieces? Wear something like that that will make the statement that you are one of "them". When you wear it, make sure it's a good-ass coord.

Pick a meet that will be good for socializing. Big meets will often naturally have people splitting off into smaller groups, so if you want to introduce yourself try not to go to a big meetup with lots of people like a tea party or a museum meet. Try to go for small or medium sized meets where it will be easier to introduce yourself to everyone. Maybe you even want to take note of the people going to certain meets and go to one with a bigger amount of the decently dressed girls there. Arguably you could also try to gain attention by perhaps going to a meet with newbs but then posting pics to the comm of you look great with the newbs but idk how much attention you could gain from that.

Whatever kind of meet you go to, just try to do your best to introduce yourself to the well-dressed girls and try to stay engaged in the conversation for any moments where you could come in i.e. discussing brand releases, wish list discussion, etc. Don't try to force yourself into conversations though. The biggest thing to understand is that cliques or not, forming a social relationship with people takes time, and most of the time people aren't going to immediately bring you into their friend group right away. Like I said, your best bet is to just try to be open and friendly and do your best to make yourself seem like "one of them". You may have to start off on your own for a bit but try to gain attention with interesting pieces and great coordinates.

However, are the cliquey girls cliquey because they're elitist or just because they're better friends or have more in common with each other? (i.e. been in the comm for longer and are similar age vs. newbs who are just getting started and are young) former makes it harder.

There's a girl in my comm that I don't know very well and wouldn't mind getting to know or being friends with. However, she can be very off putting. Some of the things she does and says is borderline "edgy tryhard" without the annoying aspect; it's just kind of awkward more than annoying to me. I'm not entirely sure if she's really like that or if she's just trying extra hard to break the stereotype that "all Lolitas need to be nice". I don't like Lolitas who go out of their way to be super fake nice as Lolita, but I also don't like the ones that are all about "I'll swear as much as I want and sit like a dude. Fuck stereotypes!" Why can't you just be you?!

Anyway, does anyone here have tips on how to maybe friend her despite this quirk? Anyone else been through something like this?

>>8776795
That is so logical. I don't know why I never thought about it before. Wow.

My comm is pretty cool, but we have a strangely disproportionate amount of FB-group shit stirrers, and efame thirsters.
It's pretty bad in the "public" comms like RC:U, but they also carry their bitching and commentary over to their private FBs. I enjoy reading their "omg I'm so NOT flustered" private posts and mutual ass-licking.

They're pretty alright in person though and keep their saltiness contained to online interactions, and we have lots of normal people as well.

Majority of the comm is pretty well-dressed too.

I also really appreciate our mods, who shut down stupid/creepy posts really fast.

>>8776816
That's gotta be pretty awkward though. If you know who the shit stirrers are, isn't that kinda hard to interact with them in person?

There's a girl in my comm who has bought a few dresses that are much too small for her, with the intention of losing weight to be able to fit into them. I don't understand why she doesn't just get custom sized dresses for the time being until she can lose the weight. Or get them altered if she REALLY wants them. She basically has nothing to wear to meets because nothing she owns actually fits. It's so strange.

>>8776816
Toronto? (Or houston?)

>>8776802
Friend her like you normally would? Are you that socially inept and judgmental?

>>8776820
This so much. There is a girl in my comm that posts me to cgl all the time (despite being called out on a vendetta) then is soooooo nice irl. Fake bitches....

>>8776830
If she plans to lose weight and keep it off, the dresses would probably a really good motivator. It is a bit strange, but it makes sense in the long term.

>>8776874
Depends on how much of a weight loss difference it is. Like one dress size is ok and totally doable. If it's more than 3 dress sizes, I'd buy something to fit and just work my way down as I go. If she bought her dream dress in her dream size, that's understandable. But not to start a whole wardrobe that she can't fit into for years to come. Makes no sense financially.

>>8776874
>>8776878

That's the thing - it's not just a dress size or two, she'll have to lose quite a bit of weight. She isn't an enormous blob, I think she could look really nice in Lolita if she got some custom sized clothing (and she might not even have to get it custom made, there might be some dresses with shirring that could fit her fine), but as it is (as far as I know) she only has dresses that are too small for her. That's why I think it's so strange.

>>8776890
Also she could plateau before she gets small enough to wear them. Her bone structure could be too big too.

>>8776900
...big boned is a tired excuse, anon. Don't give her that. If she's fat, she's fat. No thin girl has a freakishly large rib cage that would inhibit her from wearing lolita.

Did anyone ever figure out which comm anon in the ita thread was from? The one that posted a girl's work in progress/help request photo, said her comm was okay with it being posted to cgl, and then deleted it? IIRC the photos in question were a black OP that had white polka dots on the skirt part. Want to know which comm she's from and if she got banned for being such a cunt as to post a WIP photo to an ita thread. If there's a comm out there that encourages posting newbies to the ita threads I'd like to know so I can avoid them like the plague.

>>8776869
Did you actually get her ip or something?

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How do you go to meet ups when someone you know is hate posting you on cgl will be there?

>>8777015
>bone structures are universal
Anon....what?

>>8777037
Look better than them.

>>8777030
She admitted to it to a mutual friend. She doesn't know I know.

>>8777037
I would go out of my way to start a conversation with them and be nice as possible all round. That way, when they're stirring shit, they have no reason to be doing it and once they're found out they'll look like the real asshole. If anyone talks about cgl or btb just say you stopped going to those websites and don't really care what's posted on there.
>>8777048
Also this.

>>8776830
There's someone in my comm who's done the exact same damn thing. She came to her first meet for ILD and wore a shoddy handmade skirt and put her coworker/friend (who doesn't wear lolita) in one of the dresses she has that won't fit her. And despite it being her first meet she was really pushy/bossy and outspoken, as if she'd been around forever and had every right to take control of the group. Sorry for the rant, she just pisses me off.

Out of curiosity, anon, which comm are you referring to?

>>8777053
I wouldn't suggest lying when there's no need. The person must have a reason for posting about anon so anything she says could make her more hateful.

>>8776833
The first one.

I think we have some nice meets, and everyone is nice - I don't think I've met anyone who is a huge bitch in person. Even the SJWs are tolerable.
But damn it's strange to see the difference in how some of these girls talk irl vs. online. Some of them are really meek.

>>8777051
Ah. That's a damn shame then.

>>8777048
Thanks, I'll try.
>>8777053
I do try to be very polite, I even try to compliment her and engage in light conversation. But as I do it, I can feel myself dying inside because I want to stand up for myself. However, I know how hateful and sad her life is. So I will just continue being polite and pretend I don't know anything, and focus on my real friends in the comm instead. It's hard to not think negatively about all this.

>>8777061
I'm not sure exactly what you mean. I don't think there's ever a reason to hate post someone's pictures online to laugh at. Im guilty of it in the past, but grew out of that after realizing it was immature. (Inb4 do you know where you are?)
The poster calls me fat, ugly, ita ect. I'm not a great person, but I've tried my best to be nice to this person and make amends for anything I could have done to wrong her. And it's hurtful to keep being made fun of. Call me a pussy, but I'm just sick of it.

I'll try to look nice and not give her a reason to attack me any more. I just hate going to meet ups when she's there. Maybe I'll just ignore her as best I can. Sorry for whining, everyone.

>>8777038
Not to mention that your bones can actually get bigger as well. Every cm seems to count in lolita.

>>8777085
I wasn't suggesting you did anything bad. I didn't know what she posted but I meant she must have a personal reason herself to be doing it. It might just be that she's a hateful person. Have you tried confronting her if you do have proof? You can't really confirm that it's her if someone does happen to post about you since there's a chance it could be someone different each time.
If you've tried to befriend her then it is probably best to ignore her. Try not to let her ruin your meets and hang around others you like.

>>8777096
what about it?

>>8777094
I don't have proof, just a strong feeling. Additionally, most of my friends think it's her as well. But I don't want to start anything, so even if it was her, I wouldn't say anything. I guess I'm too proud to let her know that it's gotten to me?

Thanks for your advice. I think I should just let it go. I don't like feeding negativity.

>>8777085
Are you me anon?

>>8776900
>big boned

okay Madame Maxime

>>8777133
Give it a rest, please.

Can we talk about the pdx drama that may or may not actually exist?
There's a vendetta chan and apparently two girls are using other girls to get attention?

>>8777038
Honestly though the only dresses that a healthy person might not be able to fit into solely because of their bone structure are certain MM and VM pieces as well as some really old stuff. If you can't fit into modern half-shirred Baby, AP, Meta, etc. that's not because of your skeleton, it's because of your fat/tits. Unless you're an actual Titan in which case you have a lot more to worry about.

>>8777259
Top heavy anon here.. I've been losing weight for awhile now... finally down to a 30 in waist, but my arms and rib cage have not gotten any smaller. I can fit into ap just fine, but I'll never be able to wear an op without it looking ridiculous on my arms. I'd have to become an anachan and I'd rather just eat spinach salads daily..

>>8777259
Some people have broad shoulders that can cause issues for fitting OPs and blouses comfortably.

Some people have broader hips or ribcage making their natural healthy waistline wider and causing issues for fitting skirts.

Some people are taller and proportionate, making all their measurements larger and making waistbands sit too high, say right on the ribcage.

Are you saying all skeletons are essentially the same dimensions once you strip the fat off them? Because I hate to tell you this, but there's an entire line of science that says you're mistaken.

Also, sweet brands aren't really a substitute for classic brands.

>>8777161
We'll get banned

>>8777015
>large ribcage
>broad shoulders
>thin enough to count my ribs, and my hip bones are stupid sharp.

Yeah, fuck you anon. You don't know shit.

I wish if people insisted on vlogging meets/events, they would do it for the sake of actual documentation and not a sad attempt to be efamous. I'd actually love to see well filmed & edited videos of big or interesting events/meets (not even just my own comm, but others too) but sadly the only people who actually go out of their way to film make the cringiest videos possible.

>>8777688
Agreed. I saw some great videos from AM thanks to Deerstalker but most people don't have the time or the interest to produce anything remotely close to that. Or to even just film a tea party/ILD meet up for the sake of it.

>>8776802
Dude just go and talk to them, what comm is this?

I sincerely hope none of you overly sensitive piss babies are in my comm. Jesus fuck, 32" waist chans. Nobody cares about your bone structures.

>8777688
What sort of stuff would you like to see included? I'd like to video some of my comm's meets next year but I'm not sure what would be of interest to people outside the group.

>>8777746
>32" waist chans
Jesus, that takes me back to the good old days.

>>8777823
Eh, personally, as an outsider (I'm assuming we aren't in the same comm) I would love to see a well done video of a big tea party. I think focusing on some really good coords and getting some detail shots is great. If there's cute/nice food at the event, I would grab a shot of it. If there's any kind of contest or awards, always best to capture that. I dunno, I just love documenting things and seeing highlights from meets or cons I wouldn't be able to attend.

>>8777838
this exactly, seeing nicely filmed and well edited footage of events I couldn't attend (or even ones I did attend) would be awesome

>>8777823
Like the other anon said, a tea party vlog would be nice. I really enjoyed the one LovelyLor did for summer ILD, she showcased nice coords, the food, and it just looked fun.

If you go to a con, highlights from big events! Fashion show clips, or cosplay contest clips, that kind of thing.

The thing is, you really need a nice camera for these kind of things if you want to catch all the details.

>>8777515
1. Don't buy OPs. Size up your blouses. Wear cardigans

2. 70cm (just about the average waist size on non shirred items) is not tiny. Most shirred lolita things go quite a bit beyond this. Unless you're over 6' tall, 70-80cm is not an unrealistic waist size (unless you are fat)

3. I am taller and proportionate (5'10"). Bodice length is an issue for me, true. This is why I buy long dresses, don't buy empire waists, and hike my petti higher to fake a higher waist with certain dresses


I wear classic exclusively, and I do not have delicate bone structure in the least. My shoulders are fairly broad, and I can't wear long sleeved OPs because my arms are too long. Guess what? I buy things for my size. Same is true with my normie clothes. It's unreasonable to expect to look good in everything, wear it anyway, and then be sad when you look like shit.

All I'm hearing are excuses. You dont have to be a skelly to fit into lolita, you just have to be average weight for your height, at almost any height. Yeah maybe MM is not an option for larger (taller or fatter) girls, but that really doesn't mean shit.

PS: people are "big boned" in response to being fat, not the other way around. In general, there is very little variation in skeleton size when assessed as proportional to height.

>>8777884
Thanks! Having a good example video to reference is helpful. I have a mid-range DSLR that does video, so no pro equipment but better than cellphone footage at least.

>>8777989
That's pretty much what I was trying to say but I guess I said it uh, stupidly and caused a bunch of butt hurt. Whoops. You said it succinctly. Thanks, anon!

>>8778161
I guess we can always try

>>8778186
I was banned for a short period for talking about Star-chan. And no, I wasn't the one posting about convincing her to leave Lolita or whatever.

Mint Kismet has always had someone who hates her or is jelly of her for whatever reason. It's because she's thin (something she's sensitive about) and because she's cute/has brand. It's the perfect jelly shitstorm. She's a sweet person, so vendettas are forced to make things up about her so they can pretend they are relevant.

I only know one of the two girls you mentioned, the one whose name begins with a K. I also think she's a lovely person and very cute, but I don't know her personal life.

Personally, it feels like someone is just trying to stir shit in Portland.

>>8778195
>Star-chan
Who?

>>8778238
Literally nobody

Careful everyone, mods have their ban hammers out.

I love my comm. the core group of members are great fun. But I sometimes worry I'll be seen as 'elitist' or whatever by the younger members of our group. I'll be honest, I rarely talk to them. Not because I look down on them or anything, it's just wtf do I talk to a 16 year old about?

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im a mod for a comm and i think that letting them know i come to 4chan was a mistake. how are other comms with 4chan? i dont know why people look down on it os much when everyone knows that everyone comes here anyway except for itas of course

>>8778658
You have the same hobby as them. You shouldn't judge them based on their age alone before you converse with them. Depending on your age they may just view you as an old lady so they wouldn't know how to talk to you either.

>>8778672
4chan is the boogeyman in any normal situation. People look down on it because of the history it has but /cgl/ is known for the bullying so anyone on the outside will immediately assume you are a part of that. People aren't mature enough to realise that browsing a website doesn't immediately make you a horrible person.

>>8778673
I just said I don't judge them on their age. And trust me I've tried. Just gets to the point I'd rather talk to the girls my own age the whole meet than even bother anymore.

>>8778658
Yeah same. I think fuck it now, it's my weekends, I want to enjoy myself, not make small talk with some chick in a training bra.

>>8778681
If they're not really communicating back then there's not much you can do. You can easily talk about lolita but if they're going silent or talking about subjects you can't get into then that's fine. You won't be seen as an elitist if you're the one making an effort. Just hang out with people who you're comfortable with.

>>8778678
4chan is the reason I avoided being a terrible ita and learned fast and i hate that most people don't see that. I used to self post a lot but I feel as if I can't do that anymore because my comm will judge me and it takes away the fun if it. I can't get honest critics anymore, and being a mod is ridiculously stressful

>>8778685
Thanks. I really do to want to come off as rude to newbies. But the amount of times I've tried chatting Lolita and brand etc and the responses I get are, I wish I could afford that! And things along that line constantly. I guess I've just given up by this point.

>>8778688
*really DON'T. whoops!

>>8778688
I have the same issue with some of the young lolitas in my comm as well. They're all nice enough, but conversation can be pretty repetitive.

>>8778686
People are very sensitive so even if you were to tell them you don't take part in posting negatively they will judge you for staying in the environment. Either they don't how 4chan works or they live in a little bubble where no one can get hurt.
How did you let them know that you browse here? Was there some kind of reaction?

>>8778688
In those situations I guess you have to kind of lower yourself to their level since you have more experience or knowledge so I can understand why it's not too fun. You can casually talk to them every so often but if the conversation doesn't get any deeper than that it's not your fault.

>>8778673
Found the 16 year old.

>>8778658
There is one girl in my comm - I think 15-17. Attention whore! Arrived over an hour late for one meet and asked people to wait for her at the meeting spot. They had a reservation so couldn't. Arrived but asked if someone could come outside for her. Spent the whole meet on her phone, not communicating with people even though plenty of people tried. Just ranting.

>>8778718
I've noticed a lot (not all!) younger newbies are like this lately. Super demanding and think they know it all.

I just found out that the biggest dramaqueen in my comm has started a 'nice lolita' group after she publicly left our comm two weeks ago. It's almost as if she wants to start drama so she can feed her victim complex.

>>8778762
It's always the drama queens that start those comms. We had a girl who did the same exact thing a couple of years ago, after making a public post about how we were all mean, fat, spoilt princesses.

>>8778762
what is her nice group called

>>8778686
4chan is actually part of why I avoided being an ita too. I ended up on a very small handful of threads but most of them were nitpicks that I used to improve. That said, I judge people who outright talk about their 4chan involvement, especially when you first meet a person. 4chan is a place where really smart things can happen, but it's also a place where people talk shit. Openly admitting it puts you in a place where people aren't sure if you will also talk shit or if you read. My comm had small flare ups of drama and some girls equated it to one girl who talks about her panels here. It may be positive but when things flare up people point to her first. Because of that, I mention this place in small doses and usually around those I trust, because anonymously you never truly know. It's not always bad but it's known as a Bad Place so that judgment comes from the mention.

>>8778672
I don't announce it but if I'm asked or if it comes up I don't pretend I don't browse here, and I know several other girls are gulls as well. to me it's just a fun site to browse and can be a really good resource as well.

I think the only people who look down on it are itas or efame-whores, and even then the efame whores are still checking it every day

does your comm look down on you now since you let them know?

>>8778672
My comm is super chill about it, and most (openly) girls go here for some reason or another. We're low drama in general, though, so finger pointing and all that has never been much of a problem.
We do have a few tumblrinas who still think the site is evil, but whatever.

>>8778762
You're talking about the Dutch comm aren't you?
It feels like she's looking for one big echo chamber.

>>8778847
Most girls openly**

>>8778828
Same. A handful of girls in my comm are pretty open about coming on here occasionally. It really shouldn't be a big deal and I can't stand people who make it out to be.

>>8778848
I just have no idea what's she is trying to accomplish other than trying to divide our comm. I really wonder how open this "Lieve Lolita's" page is when someone adds people she doesn't like.

>>8778935
Only open for people kissing her ass is my bet

>>8778672
I'm a mod of my comm as well, and I think most of the other mods are here actively as well as many of the members. We don't really care. Vent anonymously about issues, that's fine. Just don't go posting pictures, pointing us out or namedropping for the love of all that is holy. Some people just don't get this and join in, then namedrop the comm. It's like jfc you were doing so well until this asshole came along.

I don't think most of us really care, but there are probably some that are see it as a very black and white issue. If you're here, you're shittalking everyone. I personally don't partake in that side of this board, but I'm sure other people assume it because I've been a little open about being here.

>>8778672
Also a mod, many of my comms members browse here and i nor do any normal members care. Some selfpost, others just like to stay up to date with releases in the lolita general, or like myself, lurk the nostolgia threads since im a bitbof an oldfag in the lolita community as a whole. We have a handful of people who like to stir shit and name drop, but for the most part the comm itself is really nice. We kind of keep tabs on the people we know shit post here. Jesus i wish people could vent anonymously without pulling the whole comm down, or bitch privately to a friend if you really have to name names like a normal person.
Christ. I mean honestly there is nothing inherently wrong with being on or posting on cgl, but if you choose to be that ass who likes to post your own comm members or air out your dirty laundry then you suck. Fortunately most of our members understand that and feel the same. I think the only thing that has been said about me on here is a shit stirrer tried to say how they new me personally and how they know for a fact that i post my own comm members here, which anyone with half a brain would know isnt true.

>>8777989
>If you can't fit blaming your structure is just an excuse fatass!!
>I can't fit x because of my structure.

Anon do you realize that you just contradicted yourself?

Btw, congrats! Your personal experience definitely measures the rest of the worlds experience.

>>8776830
I do this. I usually buy rare prints when I see them because I know it'll be hard to get them if I wait until I've lost enough, even if they won't fit. I think about half my wardrobe fits me right now, it's a really nice motivation.

>>8778672
I'm not a mod, but the mods in my comm and a few other members that I'm close to know that I go on CGL. Fortunately they're adult enough to understand that there's more to it then shit talking and drama, though I did come under the radar recently when there was some drama on here, but I talked to the mod and cleared things up. I also export useful information from here, such as the Taobao store list and interesting tutorials, to the main Facebook group page so newbies get some basic help and are in less danger of making idiots of themselves by selfposting.
I guess the only "bad" thing I do here is vent about the newbies and itas in the comm because my non-lolita friends won't understand.

>>8778672
When I first joined the online community, I heard a lot about cgl and btb, but didn't know anything about them. That's how I ended up on here. And honestly, I don't see what the big deal is. I've never seen something that horribly posted about a person/comm. A lot of people on here are quick to call out vendettas or nitpicks. Even more so when that girl got called out for posting another Lolita's personal pictures in the ita thread. It just goes to show that there is some decency here. If someone posts a picture in a public space, it's fair game. Don't want that? Don't post it publicly. It's really not that hard to avoid being posted on here.

>>8779211
Seconding this. The only time people have really been shredded here is if they've either done something really nasty, or if they've come on here to tell everyone how horrible and mean they are.

>>8778672
I mod my comm, and selfpost occasionally. A bunch of the other girls in my comm use it, we talk about it at meets sometimes.
If people dislike you only because of one site you use, regardless of purpose, that's their problem.

>>8779211
I've found that the majority of people I've met who post here, lolitas and cosplayers alike, are decent people. I've met two of my best friends through this board and they're the nicest lolitas ever. I really think there's a vocal minority that's particularly salty--that and because it's 4chan, people always assume the worst. But honestly, I like it here. I can get honest concrit and feedback and there are always such great artists in the draw threads.

>>8779102
There's a difference between being too tall for something and being too fat for something.

Please see
>
PS: people are "big boned" in response to being fat, not the other way around. In general, there is very little variation in skeleton size when assessed as proportional to height.

If someone is tall, their skeleton is proportionally larger. Someone at the same height who is fat has just about the same bone structure as the skinny person. "Big boned" is a BS term, because there is very little skeletal variation between people, and while obeasts have bigger bones it is BECAUSE they are fat. If they went down to a normal weight, their bones return to being normal.

>>8779341
Ehh i mean, im 5'4" and weigh 135 and cant fit brand skirts unless they are fully shirred, and can only wear brand jsks and ops with at least quarter shirring. Though because of my rib cage(not to mention bust), even underweight at 109 i still couldnt fit unshirred jsks or OPs. I could fit partial shirred brand skirts, but never wore them becaus the way my ribs stuck out it always looked like i was spilling fat over the waist band, even when i had no fat to spare.

>>8779522
>m 5'4" and weigh 135 and cant fit brand skirts
Anon, that's chub. I'm not being mean, but be real with yourself.

>>8779526
Yeah, I'm the same height and weight and brand was not made for that size.

>>8779219
cgl is full of petty trolls who single out anyone regardless of "offense". (Just read your own comment, when does someone deserve to be bullied, exactly? Cgl has the authority to decide apparently.)

From what I've experienced myself I can safely say the less time you spend on here the better. It's a haven for immature, superficial idiots. Stupidity is infectious.

>>8779539
then why the fuck are you on here right now, lol

you're pretty much good if you've lurked even a little bit, you're not obviously underage and you don't start acting like a lolcow for attention

>>8779539
> It's a haven for immature, superficial idiots. Stupidity is infectious

you would fuckin know

>>8779539
You're exactly the type of person I'm talking about.
I see more people saying that cgl is "toxic" than I see actual shit things happening on here for no reason.

Got posted in an ita thread? Dress better (unless someone's posting vendetta).

Got bitched about? Ignore it if it's bullshit.

People on the 4chan didn't like it when you called everyone a troll and a meaniepoo? Well what did you even expect?

>>8779540
I reckon SOMEONE got posted in an ita thread.

>>8779341
(citation needed)

Bullshit. Have you studied skeletal remains? East Asians has more delicate, smaller bones on average than Europeans. Yes, at the same heights. What are you smoking?

>>8779547
show us a picture of a fat skeleton

>>8779526
I know im kind of chubby, im not denying that, im saying even when i was underweight due to the way my bones are constructed i couldnt wear all the brand i wanted. My waist is 78cm now, and i worked really hard to get down to 125 a few years back and got to 72cm, but all the beautiful brand skirts i had saved and my unshirred jsks that i was dying to wear still wouldnt fit or looked like shit even if they fit my waist because of my damn ribs

>>8779558
break your ribs and reform them its the only way

>>8779558
why on earth were you wearing skirts on your ribcage

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>>8779552
Literally could have just googled it.

>>8779572
This is illustrating differing base fat/muscle types in people and has nothing to do with their skeletons. Try googling those words.

>>8779558
you aren't chubby anon, you're average

>>8779576
If you don't think that's chubby, you're very, very deluded.

>>8779581
It isn't chubby. It really comes down to what someones fat distribution and muscle mass is.

>>8779593
It really is, though. I'm not even speaking ill of the anon in question, it's a fact.

>>8779576
Haha thanks anon, but ive accepted it. I just know how to dress for my body type and find brand that fits well. Id like to start eating better and excersizing again in the new year.. But for now im going to eat as much chinese take out and mash potatoes all the sides of my family throw at me for the remainder of this week haha. My goal weight is 125 again by my birthday in the sunmer!
>>8779562
I dont? My ribs stick out so much even on custome made to my size skirts, my ribs look like a muffin top in the front? I even tried high waisted skirts, but my rib and waist measurments are so dirastically different it warps the boning or makes the waist band portion bunch up and look bad.

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>>8779526
I'm 5ft and 135. I fit brand just fine except for tights

>>8780326
>mfw I'm 5'6" and 135lb
I share the same thighs as you but I has massive muffin top and a lot of belly fat.

>>8780326
>mfw you have my dream body type

>>8778672
Its been called Satan's asshole by an efame hungry girl who in the same post will post lolita memes that originated Here. Its obvious at meets who uses by what Lolita topics they talk about. At the last meet a member showed they browse here to me by the fact they wore a themed coord I saw being talked about a week or two before on cgl. A few of us who are a meet or two short per year of being comm regulars lurk and discusse it outsiden of meets often but i never see them self post or say anything about the comm.

>>8777015
As a lolita whose waist is small enough to fit pretty much any brand with breathing room but whose rib cage often will not fit into smaller sizes, I feel comfortable telling you to shut the fuck up.

>>8778928
I agree with this, but I have a couple friends who basically announce whenever they can that they browse cgl and love the drama, and they tend to out me, too, and I just wish they'd stop. I don't mind being honest about it, but I hate being lumped in with these two or three who are really loud about it when I mainly lurk and actually couldn't care less about 95% of the drama in the community.

>>8780326
People on this board tend to forget that muscle is slimmer and weighs more. I look just as lean at ~130 lbs of muscle at 5'7" as when I was restricting calories and around 118lbs. Leaner, in some ways, actually.

>>8778195
I hate the "just jelly" argument, but whatever.
I think someone is trying to stir shit as well

My comm is having a really awesome absinthe meet up, some girl had to comment that she wasn't going because she's not ~comfortable with drinking~ that's all fine and dandy but what does she expect, everyone to drop the event and cater to her special snowflake ass? Why even comment?

>>8780477
You think that's bad? I had a girl in my comm ask if the event we were having/hosting had to be at night.... because she wasn't comfortable being out of her house after dark.

>>8780477
To be a special snowflake, really.

>>8780477
I'm in your comm - I thought that post was really amusing but also so rude, like don't go then? Literally no reason to post that other than to try to look superior to other people.

I also enjoyed the other girl's post about how having a 21+ meet was ~~unfair~~ to people under 21, and could she get a waiver signed so she could go to the meet. What establishment is going to allow an underaged person into an absinthe room. Jesus

>>8780477
I thought that was ridiculous, as well. There are plenty of people who might not be comfortable with alcohol, and no one else felt the need to comment on it.
Also the one minor who got in a fucking tiffy about it being a 21+ meet up. Get a grip, not everything is going to cater to you.

>>8779526
> implying weight over 130 means fat
> implying girls can't have muscle

Im 150. But I'm a soccer player and my legs are pure muscle. My stomach is completely flat. This assumption that people are fat/chubby by there weight needs to stop. Everyone's body is different.

>>8780361
The thighs have always been the bigget part of me (25 inches). It is mostly muscle but a healthy amount of fat too. There is not a pair of tights in the world (let alone brand tights) that don't look at least a bit stretched out so I stick to offbrand solid tights most of the time, but I hear a lot of people say that looks 'cheap'

>>8780371
As an ex anorexic/bulimic that means alot to me. I used to be 30lbs lighter and starting to feel more ok at this size, hence jumping in to try and prove to myself (and others) that this height and weight isn't rail thin, but not quite 'fat' either. It doesn't mean you're an automatic lardball or have proportions that mean no brand bodice will fit you. Or if you're an apple shape I'm sure there are enough empire waists that could work and you're likely to have skinny legs.

Sage for /fit/ OT

>>8780501
This

It seems everyone assumes when girls mention weight they do no physical activity at all.

>>8780501
This. I get tired of people mentioning their weight in general, it says very little about the actual shape of your body, and always devolves into "Well, I weigh x pounds and I look like this, so everyone else does too!".

>>8780501
5'10", 160lb rugby player and I'm the same way. My legs are power houses haha

>>8778762
This happens all too often in comms
Wish we could just kill the trend but I already know thats not going to happen

>>8778762
Our comm's SJW special snowflakes tried to do the same thing. It failed miserably.

>>8776741
There was this girl who used to be in my community who was initially sweet until she started to throw money to get really rare coveted pieces of brand. All of sudden she flipped and became a stuck up bitch. With all the attention from buying rare pieces, the efame hunger started to develop, and she was dicksucking other efamelolitas left and right. Later on she made a post about how our comm wasn't cool enough for her big head and got called out on it then flounced.

Not GH by the way.

>>8776816
The SF Comm is into singling out people.

>>8780490
>>8780491
Another member here.
I couldn't help but laugh at those posts. Thank you for responding the way you guys did to them. I would not have handled it quite as well.

>>8780552
AZ?

>>8780851

who would this even have been in AZ? not every comm post is about your shitty comm

>>8780857
Touched a nerve, have we?

>>8780964

every comm thread ultimately gets derailed by AZ comm drama, I'm sick of seeing 200 posts about some smalltime comm in the USA

>>8780552
ATX?

>>8781000
If it's ATX I think I know who the other anon might be talking about. Said person made a post basically saying our comm was shit and she didn't relate to anyone and that she was quitting lolita. Yet I still see her posting in other comm pages and on the online communities too. I'm sure she's still attending events and buying brand too. So much for "quitting." I'm not sure why she acted like she was too old and mature for the comm when posting about it on FB is reeeeally immature. But like, good riddance, I guess.

>>8781000
>>8781133
Yes she is from ATX. Just had to vent because I know she is going to Ikkicon and I won't be able to enjoy the con very much knowing I will see her stank bitch ass gloating.

I find it ironic that she left ATX comm because of drama but is still part of HLC, the most drama inducing comm just for the sake of drama.

>>8781171
Hmm maybe I'm thinking of someone different from you. Well, at any rate, I'm excited for Ikki! And I personally like HLC because I have a bunch of friends in it but I do know there are some shit stirrers in their midst. It's really unfortunate because most of the members are really nice.

>>8781173
Who were you thinking of? ATX does not have many shit people. The person I vented out about, her name starts with a C, and pretty well known.
I'm still excited for ikkicon even though she will be there of course.

HLC is ok, not like what it used to be but is better now.

>>8780326
Yes, but you clearly lift, which which makes a huge difference in how mass is distributed.

>>8777578
Is one of the pdx lolitas a janitor?

>>8781203
The entire point of her post was to show how a blanket statement like "x weight at x height is fat" is stupid because not everyone has the same body type and fat distribution. Are you even trying?

>>8781203
I've never lifted weights in my life unless a handbag counts

>>8781399
This. I mean obviously there's a limit (as in if you were >200lbs at 5ft) but the average jane could very well not be a hamplanet immediately above 100lbs and someone who does lift could be healthy, have a greater BMI than me (28 or something I think, can't be asked to recalculate) and measurements that allow you to fit brand without being delusional that you're not fat.

My only issue is height; a lot of dresses are calf length and make me look more like a child in their mother's clothes rather than the OTT-classic-I'm-wearing-an-underskirt-so-it's-meant-to-look-like-this look

sage for OT again

>>8781202
You should see her review for ikkicon 2016. I saw it yesterday when I was looking for the schedule on the con facebook.

>>8781133
>>8781171
>>8781173
If it's the same C I know (does she own Puppet Circus?) then to clarify she was never QUITTING lolita, she was just quitting going to comm events and giving herself a comm name. What she said for the ATX community was a bitchy but the less involvement you have with her the better.

>>8781516
Yep, it's the same person I was thinking of, then. I guess I misread the post at the time. My bad! But it did rub me the wrong way because, IMO, ATX is a really friendly comm and there are members who have all kinds of interests outside of lolita. But it's as you said: The less involvement the better with people like that.

>>8781513
Caps please.

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>>8781618
Nothing juicy so not be too disappointed. But here ya go.

>>8781636
Oh I thought it was a review of her schedule plans for 2016. I read your post wrong. Lol I really wanted to avoid her. Thanks anyways.

>>8780991
I haven't seen a thread derailed in months. Get over it already, our drama is over.
polite sage for no contribution.

>>8781342
No, just any mention of any drama seems to bring the risk of the banhammer nowadays

>>8780552
Caps of post in comm before flounce? I don't understand why someone would make a post saying alrighty guys I'm leaving because....... Just leave without causing any drama or making the comm feel shitty

>>8781636
I hope she trips during the fashion show. Whaaaaat a cunt. CHRIst.

>>8781829
The same reason they make stupid posts in the first place: attention.

They feel slighted that they're not getting something they want (usually attention/praise), so they try to make everyone feel guilty about it and pay lipservice in hindsight. It rarely works, because most of the time, the person in question was a non-event.

We had a girl flounce, but her post was on her personal page rather than the comm page, and it was a huge rant about how unappreciated she was, and how no one appreciated her in the capacity of leader, etc. etc. etc.

She had tried to host a handful of events, all at her house or in her part of town (which isn't really a great area to wear lolita), she had tried to host events that conflicted with other, previously established meets, and had tried to stir drama up between members in the guise of "helping". The only people that lamented her leaving on that post were non-lolitas, who encouraged her belief that we're all meanie poopieheads who don't appreciate her genius.

TL;DR: Attention whores are attention whores to the bitter end.

>>8781636
It hasnt even happened yet what a brat

>>8781829
She posted on her personal fb. I don't have caps since I unfriended her after that post. Maybe someone else can?

>>8781970
Same here. I can sum it up. Doesn't get along with comm at all doesn't like comm and only likes people from outside ones. It was strangely worded though. You can say you only like hanging out with a few people without coming across as 'I hate you all I'm leaving bye'

>>8781838
Lol wait, wait. She's gonna be in the fashion show and she STILL left this scathing review? If I was in charge of the fashion committee, I would boot someone who posted stuff like this publicly. Why should someone who has no qualms with shitting on a con get to participate in something fun that involves a special guest?

>>8782198
Yep, for AATP. And despite her known past behaviors of blatant drunkenness and rudeness towards jfashion guests at other conventions she modeled at too.
I don't see why they don't just find a replacement, there's plenty of time and based on the other people who were accepted, they have fairly low standards for the models.

>>8782198
>>8782270
The designers choose the models not staff. They have no control over that and I doubt the designers would know who the models are personally. They don't care as long as you look good in the clothes.

>>8782289
Ah, I see. I assumed it was the staff because that's how it was for the con I modeled at. Thanks for clearing that up! It's just kind of funny that she swore that SJ would be her last lolita event. And here she is...

>>8782292
What con did you model at? Usually staff will send all the applications to the designers and they choose who they want and then staff contacts the models.

>>8782297
Probably AM, where John-sempai picked his favorites to model

>>8782317
Yeeeeah it was AM but I had never met John before. I just thought the protocol for the con shows was the staff picked then sent the info to the designers, who I guess determined what to bring for fittings based on measurements and number of people given. But I don't really know much about that stuff (obviously) so I was just making an assumption. Makes way more sense for the designers to just hand pick, though.

>>8782342
Oh AM is notorious for doing shady shit but I don't want to derail the thread any more than this. lol

back to Lolita comms.

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>>8780490
But I've got a permission slip, Mr. Bartender

>get invited to meetup
>look at description
>"we'll have a Q&A session for our newbies to ask our veterans anything!"
>my comm has maybe 2 somewhat well dressed girls in it and a bunch of hit-or-miss girls who wear the weirdest shit
>rsvp no

>>8780490
I don't know where you guys are talking about but where I live there are places that minors are allowed to be as long as they aren't in the same room as the alcohol being poured. Meaning there are places you can take your 19 year old friend and you can buy beer, drink it and then still hang out with the 19 year old and it's all legal. It's usually only during certain parts of the day and every place that sells booze has to have a sign in the window saying when minors are allowed and when they aren't.

Source: I had to take a dumb test to learn liquor laws to pour beer.

>>8780504
>everyone assumes when girls mention weight they do no physical activity at all.
Because it is a large stereotype of this board that we're all a bunch of fat cows who spend all day shopping online with money we didn't earn.

>>8779544
I don't agree with little miss SJW that is here for some reason even though she doesn't like it but...

I see some awful shit on here. Especially during con season. I mean... I was in the self post thread where everyone attacked a girl for self posting... in the self post thread.

Sorry, but we're all little bitches apparently.

>>8784032
But the entire point of the meet is to drink absinthe, and there's a room designated for it. It's not like we're going to take the absinthe out of the room to hang out with a minor, it's not our obligation to cater to someone who has no business being at a 21+ meet.

>>8784032
you mean like fucking restaurants that are bars at night? also it doesn't sound like you learned much...

>>8784032
If the meet is based around drinking alcohol (like say, an absinthe meet, or wine tasting), it kind of defies the point. Not every meet will be for everybody, and it doesn't need to be.

>>8784481
This. I'm so sick of grown ass women complaining on comm pages about xyz meet not catering to them. A 21+ meet for something like wine tasting (or absinthe--fuck yeah) sounds like a BLAST. Minors shouldn't be offended because it's not like they can go to those places anyway. People who choose not to drink shouldn't be offended because nobody is forcing them to attend. People need to suck it up and coordinate their own meets if they're so butthurt.

>>8784457
Where I live most places have bars, like even game stores have them. So they have to have this rule. I'm not saying you have to cater to everyone, but where I live, you can.
That's all. Not sure why you seem upset over it.

>>8784560
Not that anon, but perhaps because they were already venting about people getting fussy and trying to weasel their way into 21+ meets (in >>8780490, it's made pretty clear that wherever they're from, minors aren't allowed), and you basically came and said "Well, where I'm from, you totally can, so why the big fuss!!"

You're basically acting like the girl they're complaining about.

>>8784576
>You're basically acting like the girl they're complaining about.
What? How?
I'm saying in some places its different. They can't cater to this girl, okay fine.
I'm not actually trying to argue, sorry I wanted to share knowledge.

>>8784576
I bet they don't have this issue in the UK.
Topkek murrican laws.

>>8784580
NWYART but because you're hypothetically shoehorning your underage self into grown-up plans.
>share the knowledge
To what purpose? Anon already clarified that the location of the meet is 21+ regardless, so arguing about where YOU live won't change the fact that those are the rules where THEY live. And hell, maybe they want only 21 and up there in the first place, so they don't have to hear all the entitled whining about wahhh meets don't cater to me and bawww mommy won't buy me $500 burando.

>>8782072

This sounds a lot like drama from over two years ago. Will you give it a rest. Now that Candice and Alex are running the comm let it just run its self into the garbage bin and be a thing of the past.

Seeing this shit is the reason I'm glad I'm no longer active in the main group. You guys hold on to old drama that the rest of the world couldn't give two fucks about.

>>8784580
well, you came in sharing information about where ~you live. which would be fine but the information isn't helpful - it's not like they thought they couldn't bring minors, but you came in with useful info to share that they could, your post esp in >>8784560 comes off as "I don't know why you're complaining because where I live I can do it, why can't you?" which isn't really relevant if someone doesn't live where you live. you even say that you know the organizers don't have to cater to that girl, so again I don't really know what the point of sharing that information in the first place was.

it was really just beside the point because the meet is supposed to be for drinking alcohol, not just hanging out.

>>8784582
I'm from Europe and considering that I've been visiting a pub with my father since I was 3 or 4 years old, it's definitely not an issue.
>underage people aren't allowed in the room where drinks are poured
what, will the alcohol fumes make the kiddies drunk?
little kids (6-12) regularly go to alcohol stores to buy soft drinks and crisps over here, it makes up part of their revenue. alcohol sale in stores stops at 10pm and there's some limit to how small an alcohol store can be, but that's it on regulations.
then again, we are one of Europe's biggest drinking countries, but no one knows the cause of that for certain.

>>8784582
As an American, I'm grateful for 21+ meets because they allow for me to get away from the special snowflakes of the comm. Sometimes I just want to talk to reasonable people, is that too much to ask?

>>8784596
>visiting a pub with my father since I was 3 or 4 years old
but did you have taytos and fanta

>>8784596
Anon, where are you from, Ireland?
Either way, I'm from Europe as well, and in my country they'll let basically anyone into a bar (you just can't order alcohol under 16), but there's still no point in going to a drinking meet if you're not gonna drink.

in general if you can't participate in something for some reason there's really no point in going and forcing people to make the meet so it can include you. unless they're doing things specifically to exclude you, just don't go or make your own meet.

to whatever eurofag - it's like someone hosting a meet at an average-priced restaurant and a minor (since it's almost always minors who do this) complaining and saying it's not fair to go there because "not everyone can afford it" because said minor can't be assed to pay more than $5 for a meal.

with the absinthe meet though I really don't fucking understand why people have to be dumb bitches...why doesn't your comm/the organizer just tell them to make their own meet? like literally, just make a separate meet at the same time for people who can't or don't want to drink. i will never understand why people complain about meets - unless it's a really shitty/stupid meet like going to mcdonald's no one is forcing you to go. make your own damn meet.

>>8784596
The "not being allowed in the room" is specific for this situation. The room is for drinking absinthe which may or may not be communal and there would be no way to ensure minors are not drinking if they were allowed in, which is a liability for the establishment and potentially the host of the meet as well

Everyone debating this just sound like minors who are upset that not everything is for them. It's a drinking meet. It's not for you.

>>8784614
naw, fried dumplings and apple juice was the shit

>>8784618
nope, Estonia - we place 3rd or something usually on the alcohol bought per capita rankings (but we usually blame the Finns for it)

I don't understand why newfags and minors expect everyone to babysit and cater to them - were they really that spoiled as children?

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>host mini-meets a couple times a year
>max of 6 people per table
>do everything I can to prepare in advance-get rsvps, call and make tea reservations, always keep information updated, check in with people 2 days before event to ensure my reservation number is correct
>always get last-minute dropouts anyway, usually due to BS or reasons they would have known about in advance and didn't bother to tell me
>actual meet comes around and people still show up 30+ minutes late
Fucking christ it is so embarrassing to have people dropping out last minute or showing up so tardy to a formal event. And these are all grown adults (20+) with their own forms of transportation that just can't be bothered to do anything properly. Having to apologize over and over to the hostesses of the tea house is so painful but these are some of the only times I get to even wear lolita and have tea and all that.
>get new, responsible loli friends
We all know that's easier said than done. Especially since I work weekends so I don't go to comm meets.

>>8784631
start hosting meets that require deposits first.

seriously, this is the best way to stop people from dropping out last minute. even if it's a smaller meet. and if people ask for the money back, just set a date and say after that date it's non-refundable.

>>8784592
>Candice and Alex
FFS Arizona will you shut the fuck up? That post clearly wasn't about you. Also no one cares that you left the group, Divina.

I used to wear Lolita a few years ago when I was around 21-23. I'm 26 now and I feel the call of the frill. Am I too old to get back into the fashion? I don't mean too old for the clothes, but older than the people in comms and such.

>>8784709
Honestly it just depends on your comm, some comms have more underage teens while others have more college students and adults. Scope out your local comm and see who's in it. In my own comm personally, there's next to no teenagers (there's only like 1 girl in high school that I know of who regularly attends meets) and everyone else is mostly in college, while there is a solid smaller group of older like 25-35 year old working, professional, etc. adult ladies in the comm.

>>8784481
My comm is having a wine tasting meet, but the organizer is fabulous and talked to the owners of the winery to find out if they have juice or something or the people under 21. They do, some wineries have that option so people can bring their kids for some reason. Unless it's specifically to exclude certain cringey underage members, that's an option.

>>8784709
I just joined my comm this year, and I'm 26 as well. If we're too old then oh well, right?

>>8784709
There's plenty of women that are 25+ in the comms in my area, and chances are you can still find someone who's on a similar wavelength as you, even if they're in they're early 20s.

>>8784719
That's nice of them, but I'm not sure why you would go to a wine tasting meet and not drink wine, children usually tag along because their parents can't leave them at home or they're on vacation. That's like going to a cheese tasting room as a vegan. It was lovely of your organizer to do that, but you don't have to try to include everyone all the time, sometimes adults just want to go out and have fun with other adults who share the same interests.

>>8784727
I gotta agree with you, I don't really see the point. For me personally (i'm 20) I wouldn't go to a wine tasting meet just to drink juice...the point of the meet is to drink wine.

You really just can't include everyone all the time. It's a fact of life. Unless someone is being excluded on purpose for a sour reason you just have to deal with the fact that not everyone can be included. I second the idea that if someone doesn't want or can't attend an age restricted meet-up, someone should just organize a separate meet-up for those who aren't going. No one cares that you don't drink and no one cares that you're too young - there's no rule that says every single thing a comm does HAS to be able to have ways to include everyone. Like I said unless something is being done on purpose for bad reasons then just suck it up and go to the next meet.

>>8784709
Every active member of my comm is 25+. It's a dream come true.

>>8780477
>>8780490
>>8780491
Late to the party, but I'm in the same comm as well. I felt bad for the mods, especially since it took direct assurance from them that there was going to be another all-ages event at the same venue in a few months. The sense of entitlement is strong - I'm just glad the comm's mods aren't so hand-holdy as to bar attendance/age-restricted meets like a certain comm just across the state border.

Out of the two notable complaining posts I think the ~I don't feel comfortable around people drinking~ post was worse; get off your damn high horse, bitch.

>>8784930
Lol I am glad our mods are not super sensitive and basically put both girls in their places.
Some of our members are bad enough, if the mods were the ~everyone is special and perfect~ type, I would be gone in a flash.

>>8784594
Yeah, I do talk about where I live a lot because I guess I only know the places I've been.
I know they can't do that there. I feel like people get real huffy about anecdotes here and it kills any conversation and instead we get petty arguments like this one.

Whatevs.

STL peeps, I'm going to make the fb page tomorrow and link it here. I'll have several mods of course. Obviously, only let people join that are clearly lolitas. I'll let someone think of some other rules, probably similar rules as in the original Missouri comm. Do you guys think there should be a short application before mods vote on whether to accept a new member to the comm, like show 3 of your best coordinates and answer a few short questions?

Also I was at the 2014 Japanese Festival meet, but wasn't in the group picture.

>>8785200
Am I missing something? I thought there was already a page specifically for StL?

>>8785200
You don't want to limit yourself to people who are "clearly lolitas". This excludes the people who are just starting and don't really have a full outfit yet. And just hanging out with some lolitas can really help push someone in to investing in nicer clothes. Just weed out pervs, photographers, and people who are only interested in Japanese fashion who never plan on wearing it.

>>8785229
To be honest, with how much information and how many resources are available on the internet now, I don't think people should really join local comms without owning any lolita/being a lolita.
Maybe an unpopular opinion, but still. Also, I'm not >>8785200, just for clarification.

>>8779526
>>8779522
It depends on your shape. I'm 5'4 145 and fit easily into unshirred brand, some of it is too loose. I have a 67 cm waist and disgusting big legs, this fashion fits my shape perfectly

>>8785206
Yes, but several anons have expressed frustration with how hugboxy the comm has gotten, plus the existing page is for all of Missouri which includes KC, another large comm.
>>8785229
I would, but how do you tell if someone who's just starting w/o an outfit is ever going to get an outfit for sure? As for nicer clothes, I'm okay with nitpick-level coords because it means they tried and still have potential to improve, and bonus if they're willing to accept concrit.
>>8785233
I agree. Pretty much all of the noob questions that pop up can be answered with a quick google search or the lolita handbook on tumblr or whatever.

>>8785247
Ahhh. You're over the itas.

Making a new, open-to-applications comm isn't going to fix that. The same people you're annoyed with are all going to request to join, and get butthurt when you reject them. This isn't going to make a better comm, it's just going to cause more drama.

I'd suggest not making it open to public view at all. Invite your friends and the people you like, and leave it at that.

>>8784592
>Now that Candice and Alex are running the comm
You clearly have no idea what you're talking about. Jesus christ quit shirring the pot even when there is nothing to stir. Talking about not letting old drama fucking die, you should take your own fucking advice you fucking walnut.

>>8785262
Yeah, maybe that's a good idea. I think I read in a thread here once about a seagull being part of the regular hugbox comm and a more "secret" comm and showing up to hugbox meets in order to see if there were any well-dressed lolitas around to invite to the secret comm. Maybe we could do that?
I'm definitely open to suggestions.

>>8785268
Honestly, discretion is the key to this one. Or to any sub-group in a larger comm.

Pointless drama will just drive people away, even the people you want to attract/like.

>>8785247
Generally if a person never gets an outfit, they also lose interest in trying to come to meets. If they for some reason show up to a couple meets without an outfit, you get to do your mod duty of saying something.

>>8785200
Was this inspired by our wonderful ita in the ita thread? I love how a mod told her to stop posting so much, and she replied "Ok."

Also, are you friends with any of the current mods?

>>8784592
This is about ATX, anon... I don't even think we have a Candace or Alex...

>>8785500
Partly yes. I wanted to help her, I even gave her a suggestion before very gently, but there was no suggestion for that latest outfit. And she's been told to stop posting so much before, hasn't she?

I'm fb friends with 3 out of 4 of the current mods, but have only met 1 IRL.

>>8785523
What are they like? I know one

>>8785523
>>8785535
All of them are lovely, although I don't know how active they are right now (who can blame them, they're students & a mom).

And yes, one of the mods has told said ita to stop posting repeatedly, and said mod is getting super frustrated. There's a lot of private laughter though.

>>8784727
>>8784762
Because people don't go out just to socialize? I know plenty of people that go to bars just to socialize not drink. I asume the same with wine tasting.

>>8785694
No, going to a bar to hang out with people who may or may not drink is different from going somewhere where the whole purpose is specifically to drink alcohol.

>>8785744
Exactly? If it's purely a wine tasting and you can't drink the wine, why are you there?

>>8785535
They all seem to be very nice, and if they'd like to help mod the new comm I'd be all for it.

>>8785611
I'm a student also (science major) so I'll try to be as active as possible. One of my friends at my college knows the frustrated mod pretty well, they're good friends as well. I probably know the lolita mum the best, we're both into science-y things.

>>8785694
>I assume the same with wine tasting
Do you have any idea how expensive wine tours are? You don't go wine tasting and not taste the wine.

>>8785744
>>8785694
Usually wine tastings are offered by wineries with the expectation that if you like one particular wine enough, you will buy a full bottle of it to take home with you.

>>8786026
>>8786030
Yeah, I've done small town wine tasting at wineries and it's really cheap. But an actual winery tour in a shuttle that goes to multiple locations and usually has a few more added perks is really expensive. The latter wouldn't be ideal since too many lolitas are flaky, but the former could be a nice meetup.

Alright, I'm trying to create the fb group but it's wanting me to add fb friends or from an e-mail address. Can someone drop an email for me to add them?

Is there a Lolita group in Las Vegas? If so, what is the community like? My mom is flying out for a business trip in a couple of weeks and asked if I'd like to tag along.

>>8786140
Why not add one of your potential mods? Or do you not trust them to keep mum about it?

>>8786424
We have a FB group page under "Las Vegas Lolitas". We're a small and quiet comm. There are a couple e-fame thirsty people, but other than that, the comm has mainly decently to well-dressed people.

>>8780376
You make /cgl/ sound like a drug, anon.
>people use it in secret
>just one more thread and I'll stop
>one more kek
>just one more
>one more

>>8786140
I'm not sure making a new comm is gonna help anything. There's already a secret STL comm, anyway. Try going to more meetups or making meetups and befriending the well-dressed girls instead.

>>8786473
I already voiced my opinion further up thread, but I agree with this.

A "new" comm isn't going to fix much.

> having dinner at a restaurant during a meetup
> some people in the comm leave at one point and come back later with a stranger who wants a photo with us
> sure, why the hell not
> we gather for a photo with him in the middle and someone else holding his camera
> at the very last second, he wraps his arms around all the girls next to him before taking the photo

That was probably the most uncomfortable and awkward thing that has happened to me during a meetup.

>>8786473
There is?

>>8786476
It would fix frustration with the worst of itas, but if there's already a secret comm I guess there really isn't a need for another secret comm.

>>8786488
Yes, there is. You mentioned you haven't been to a lot of meetups, right? (or was that another STL anon?) I know there haven't been many lately, but try making some or going to more and introducing yourself to the mods and well-dressed girls. We used to get together a lot more, but there has been such an influx of itas and poorly dressed newbs lately...

>>8785523
There's no helping her, trust me. If you ever meet her irl you'll see, she's completely delusional. I'm just hoping she'll get bored of lolita and move onto something else someday.

>>8786498
Yes, that was me but other anons may have said that as well. I was planning a zoo meet but school got crazy and one of the mods got kicked out of the zoo apparently. I also considered a casual mall meet, but then I remembered one from last summer(?) that had like 5 girls come and none actually wore lolita.

>>8786513
I'd nix zoo meets for the time being, based on that mod's experience. Past meets were fun, but we always used to get stopped for photos, and that can be really disruptive.

>>8786513
I know it's been done and it's a little on-the-nose, but maybe one of the tea rooms or French restaurants? In the past they've been pretty good for meetups. It keeps away broke noobs, for one, and is conducive to conversation, unlike the zoo or mall where people tend to break up and wander with their friends...

>>8786498
The problem is that even the secret comm isn't doing things or making meets. If there were more events that the well dressed girls were doing, it'd be different.

>>8786547
True. Not to be totally ego-centried, but I feel like after I moved away from the comm over a year ago (anyone who knows me will know who this is now, I don't care, I love all y'all) all the meetups stopped. I did make a lot of the meetups in the past, but not all of them, so I'm not sure why it died (especially with all the influx of new people after I left, too?)

>>8786513
I would honestly just like to have a meet up where we could hang out somewhere in lolita, even if it's at someone's house, and just did normal stuff. But there's no way in fuck I would ever want to try and organize something with the entirety of the STL comm since they are fucking horrendous. It would be nice to just have normal lolita friends who could talk about things other than lolita fashion itself.

>>8786559
I don't know you personally, since I am new to the group and am only good friends with one of the mods and know of some other people, but the meets now are basically non-existent. I have never attended an actual meet up thrown by the comm, just hung out with friends/know people I have met on the group. There is one every once in a while that someone throws together, but barely anyone attends other than the weeb and ita shits, primarily because the entirety of all who attend are embarrassing to be around.

>>8784493
This! I really wanted to host a tour of a local vineyard/restaurant and so many people complained about it not including everyone that I decided against it.
Its a damn regular restaurant though.. no ones forcing you to drink. And alcohol isn't served on the tour. Its just a nice walk through the vinyard and through the processing area.

>>8786559
I think I know you haha! Did you give some advice about the zelda fabric? T. b. h. it does look better than I imagined it would...but the super busy stars fabric with it definitely wouldn't work at all.

>>8786454

Thanks anon! I will have to look into this and see if it's still alright with my mother if I tag along.

>>8786118
>>8785694

okay, but either way, if the literal point of the meet up is to primarily drink alcohol (wine, absinthe, whatever) and then secondarily socialize, it's kind of dumb to ask to be catered to as a person who isn't think (for whatever reason)

people go out to socialize yes, and socialization is a main part of meet ups, yes, but you're missing the point. alcohol-tasting meet ups or alcohol factory tour meetups are age restricted for a reason and, again, literally based around the fact that you'll be drinking. the socialization aspect is very much intertwined but it's secondary mostly due to the fact that there's an age restriction.

another anon brought up a good example - it's like being a vegan and going to a cheese tasting party and demanding them to have food that you can eat. there may be other non-dairy products there for you but really, what's the point? just go somewhere else.

bars are different in that the socialization aspect is on the same level as sitting down to have a drink. at a wine tasting you don't sit down to have a taste, you're there to taste wine and that's it, it wasn't made to be a social event.

likewise, if a meet is alcohol based and age-restricted, unless people are specifically trying to exclude you for ulterior reasons, don't fucking go. damn. why is this so hard for some of y'all to understand? not every meet is gonna be for you. make your own or just wait for the next one jesus christ

>>8786637
>as a person who isn't think
*drinking, not 'think' wtf

>>8786513
There is a secrect com but they all seem to be the older well dressed girls??

>>8786560
That's what the secret com does dude

>>8786664
Wait so who are the girls in the secret comm??

>>8786686
Taylor if you don't know you won't find out.

>>8786679
No you don't. Lmao.

>>8786615
Yeah that was me.

>>8786690
Oh, I'm not Taylor, I'm just lurker #3.

>>8786690
I THOUGHT I WAS THE MEANEST IN THE SECRET LOLITA GROUP.

DAMN GIRL I DIGRESS. REVEAL YOURSELF.

>>8786690
WE'RE CRACKING UP OVER THIS, WHO ARE YOU

>>8786700
Seriously, whoever you are, we love you

Not really getting what is the issue with the STL lolitas. Go to meetups and see if there are cool people. If there are a couple cool people, try to set up simple, small meets to get to know them better. If there are "established" lolitas you're interested in getting to know, do the same thing. Get to know them better online and then invite them out for coffee/ dinner/whatever.

People think that "secret lolita groups" are founded because those girls all look good. If that's the reason, that's kind of pathetic. More often, I think those groups get established because they are actually friends who talk about shit other than lolita sometimes.

Bitches need to stop making lolita into a fucking football draft for friends.

>>8786637
>booze first, talking second
This is how the other side of this argument sounds. Booze shouldn't be more important than socializing, like god damn. Are you all alcoholics?

>>8786794
Fuck off snowflake

>>8786794
>we want to have a nice meet where we sample wine and also talk and dress up, but mostly sample wine
>BUT WHAT ABOUT MEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>8786752
There really is no community lol. That's the issue.

>>8786810
>>8786808
Yup, sounds like the rage of alcoholics.

>>8786794
Meet ups revolve around a central activity. If the activity is drinking then it's going to be a 21+ meet, and even if there wasn't a requirement, why would you even bother going to a meet where you can't or don't want to participate in the main activity?

Literally the only people who would complain about a 21+ meet are minors who are mad about not having access to every single meet regardless of if they even want to go, and it's not fair to the girls who want to just have a nice meet doing something they're interested in. It's not their fault that there are age requirements, the hostess of the meet did not create the drinking age and laws about it.

I'm in the comm going to the absinthe room and we pretty much never have 21+ meets so I think it's ridiculous that people are being so rude about this meet. Host your own fucking meet then and stop expecting everyone else to cater to you.

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>>8786794
>>8786872

>wine tasting
>activity literally all about tasting alcohol
>WOW UR JUST A BUNCH OF ALKIES HUH

i'm sorry that you couldn't go to your comm's wine tasting or absinthe room meet, but if you ask chuck e cheese might be available

>>8786794
I never said talking wasn't less important, what I was trying to get across is that the fucking meet is focused on a goddamn age restricted activity that is the main fucking event. you arrange a booze-related meetup to drink booze with other of-age lolitas. if you wanted to just have a regular meet-up to just socialize and do something like normal, then you would just host a damn regular, non-age restricted meet.

i don't understand why this is so hard to understand

literally if you can't fucking go host your own shitty meetup holy shit

inb4 u mad
yeah i fucking am mad cause i don't understand why we all have to act like retards when we don't get what we want wtf
my comm has hosted meet-ups before that i couldn't go to, you know what i did? i shut the hell up and waited for the next meet because the world doesn't revolve around me.

why does a booze meet-up have to cater to people who are underage or sober? like, ignoring everything else, please just tell me why a voluntary meet-up where the main event is drinking or tasting alcohol needs to cater to people who don't or can't drink.

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>>8786794
>>8786872
This immature, self centered attitude is exactly why they want 21+ meets in the first place. Hell I'd organize a 21+ meet just to get away from all the childish whining. Wahhh people don't agree with me, they must be alcoholics/bullies/elitists/etc. No wonder your comm wants to have a meet without you anon, you must be intolerable to even be around.

Here's a novel idea, y'all. How about some of the younger members who can't go host an alternate meet. Like go shopping or out to eat or go see a movie! It doesn't have to be a huge group, even if there are only a couple of y'all (I'm not from your comm so I have no idea) you can still get together and go do something. Ask your mods for permission to post it to your comm page, so no one thinks you're trying to disrupt things and totally eclipse the other meet, though.

>>8786993
Sorry, I didn't really click on any posts to reply because there are so many, but to clarify, this was in response to the huge debate about the alcohol meet.

>>8782289
>>8782292
Seconding the sentiment that staff has some power.
For certain cons, baby/aatp would choose models, but con staff is capable of booting people.
That's what happened at jpop summit.

unfortunately a lot of our snowflakes are over 21.....

>>8786794
>>8786872
Kek, get the over yourself. There's tea tasting as well, I guess you'd go to that as well and then complain you don't like tea.
If someone doesn't like alcohol, they can go and make their own meet. But I guess it's easier to be a little baby and complain.

>>8784686
Wasn't me, man. Don't give two shit about none of y'all.

>>8787014
>get the over yourself
Ease off the wine buddy.
Kek.
I like alcohol and tea, btw.

>>8786923
I'm not in a comm yet. I haven't even joined.

Look how defensive everyone got over being called alchies, tho. That's not something that non alcoholics do.
And I live in a city full of them. You're all the type of people thinking you don't have a drinking problem because you're young and that's when you should be drinking and having fun, right?
But if you're having a casual beer or glass of wine a day, you're probably in denial and same thing goes for if you're white knuckling it.

>>8786931
>arrange meet to "taste" absinthe
>implying it doesn't always taste like gasoline
>implying you're not all gonna get tipsy and act like retards

Yeah ok

>>8778935
Well, I just found out people don't think I'm nice apparently, cause I'm not invited...

>>8788455
This is crazy bad logic. People dont join a comm. We do not need more stories about that dumb person who makes meets intolerable.

>>8788455
>if you don't like being called an alcoholic, you must be an alcoholic, LOL!
You sound like a cheeky cunt, please don't join a comm.

>>8788480
>People dont join a comm
The fuck are you talking about?

>>8788620
Do what I want, bitch

>>8788455
If you think a single beer or glass of wine a day makes you an alcoholic, you should probably read up on what alcoholism actually is. Also, I'm pretty sure most people get offended and up in arms when they're accused of being something they're not.

Honestly, this whole argument is why I stopped being active in my comm and started just hanging out with my lolita friends. None of us need this petty fucking drama caused by people who think the world should revolve around them but can't be arsed to actually do or organize anything themselves.

>>8788707
Anna, I'm pretty sure your fat ass is addicted to food and sitting in front of the computer for long periods of time (so maybe you shouldn't throw stones about "addiction"). I'm certain you're racist too as you refer to black people as "coloreds"

>>8788717
I love that everyone replies to me like I'm the girl who complained in the comm or that my behavior on an anonymous image board would immediately translate to the same way I'd be in person or how I'd act in a comm.

First of all I'm way over 21, so I wouldn't be complaining about a 21+ meet. I also wouldn't complain about meets I couldn't go to even tho I'm not sure what that would be as I'm pretty much up for doing anything as I tend to be a pretty chill person irl and very accepting.

I even work at a venue where meets could be held, and gasp! We serve alcohol!!

Second, you can be an alcoholic if like I said, you're trying to white knuckle your addiction, or you have to have booze for certain occasions, or you think justifying a glass of wine a day with "its good for your heart!!" - my friend helps a rehab group. Some of my friends are alcoholics but at least they can admit it. Most don't.

And uh, "tasting" absinthe? Tasting 90 proof hard liquor? Sounds like an excuse to get hammered. Which is fine, unless you act like a stuck up bitch about how important it is not to include people because they're younger.

But hey, no one here agrees with me because they can't get past the amount of upsetness that occurred from "we don't want to hang out with underage bant, stop sympathizing with them, they are being self centered!!! Waaaah!"

>>8788724
Good thing I'm not Anna, she sounds like trailer trash.

>>8788455
I don't drink and I think you sound like a fucking moron.

Sage for responding to shitpost bait

>>8788732
A drink a day still doesn't make you an alcoholic, anon. Are you American, perchance?
Moreover, liquor tastings are not uncommon, and absinthe is pretty distinct with several varieties/flavors. It's no different than going to a whisky or scotch tasting, which are very much a thing.
Why are you so butt flustered that people want to have a drink, anyways?

>>8788774
>Why are you so butt flustered that people want to have a drink, anyways?
projecting, from the sounds of her post.

some of my friends project hard when someone says something that triggers them, but at least they admit they are being unreasonable when confronted. most people would rather defend their fear than face it.

>>8788455
I'm a teetotaler for personal reasons and I still think you're being a pathetic projecting little bitch, anon. I'm sorry you're surrounded by alcoholics but normal people can perfectly well go to a wine tasting without getting hammered. Please stop letting your personal issues crawl up your ass so far that they start speaking for you.

>>8789153
>wine tasting
>absinthe tasting
Sorry, not the same

>>8788774
Whiskey and scotch, sure. But absinthe? One shot and you've pretty much got the taste. Like I really don't see something of that high of a volume having different tastes unless you water it down with something else.

It really sounds like they're all gonna do shots.

>>8789255
>drinking absinthe in shots

Yeeeah. There's your problem. You're not supposed to drink absinthe from the bottle that. It's a pretentious fucking drink because of the ritual involved, not because you're actually going to hallucinate or get off your nut.

The local absinthe place in my area has a three drink limit specifically because it's high volume and meant to be enjoyed as a part of said ritual. Not shots and cocktails.

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>>8789255
Do you even know what absinthe is beyond "some really strong alcohol"?

>>8789255
Absinthe is a great communal experience because it involves ~5 minutes of preparation, which can be quite beautiful. Absinthe fountains are ornate tabletop water dispensers with 1-4 nozzles that slowly drip water into your absinthe, causing it to louche: a chemical reaction that is lovely to watch. Drinking absinthe is a slow, time-consuming activity that evokes an earlier time, like afternoon tea. Seems like it would go well with lolita. And it's not about slamming down shots.

http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-louching.htm

You sound like a spiteful fucking 15-year-old.

>>8789285
>nozzles that slowly drip water into your absinthe
Yeah and what did I say?
Oh right
>I really don't see something of that high of a volume having different tastes unless you water it down

So yeah.

>>8789258
Why are you defending it when you find it pretentious?

>>8789516
Lolita is pretty pretentious but a lot of people still enjoy it

What is even being argued here???? You all know how up tight the Jans are here; stop derailing

>on topic
I'm too chicken shit to join my comm

>>8789539
>I'm too chicken shit to join my comm
Why's that?

>>8778678
to me I assume everyone still using tumblr religiously a sjw.
always proves right at the end.

I'm getting really sick of my local comm. Especially one member in particular. A perpetual victim, extreme SJW and just sucks the fun out of anything. Organise a meet where there's not adequate wheelchair access even though no-one attending is using a wheelchair? Y'all are ableist. Always going on about how unprivileged and fucked over financially by the government they are despite never working in their life and live in a luxury apartment and frequently brag about all the new expensive dresses and makeup they've bought and come across patronising to those of us who have had to save up for our luxuries. But don't mention that or again, you're ableist. The rest of the comm are kissing her ass about how brave she is and I'm sitting here biting my tongue and nodding along as I don't want to deal with the fallout and tantrum that would happen because I'm a total coward.

>>8792511
MS?

>>8776830
UK by any chance?