Tell me about your lolita friendships. Like, the ones you're

Why is Kamikaze Girls so good?

>>8771710
is it worth a watch? haven't seen it yet.

>>8771718
It's pretty amazing. Especially watching it now because the bad old school coords are more of a novelty. Some of them are really cute, though. I watched that movie for the first time in like eight years a few months ago and actually liked it more than when I first saw it at 15.

>>8771722
>bad old school coords
Which coords in the movie do you not like, anon? I think they're all pretty damn cute.

Have any of you ever converted normie friends to lolita? I'm currently a loner (both in lolita and out lol) so I can't really contribute to the main qs. but I have a few normie friends that are just weird enough to maybe get into it with me if I frame it right and I would love to hear some inspo stories

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>how did you meet?
I have two friends that I met through online communities. One got me into lolita, and the other we both got her into it. We are currently working on converting 3 of our other friends that are also interested in the fashion. >>8771737
>what are your substyles?
Friend A and I are both gothic/classic, friend B is sweet.
>how big of a role does lolita play in your friendship?
we talk about it frequently, but we also have a lot of things in common.
>do you ever do "lolita" things like have tea parties, go to cons, or shop at lolita stores together?
Both live pretty far from me, and I think we've only worn lolita with each other like two or three times? B lives closer to me than A, so we have gotten tea and gone to cons. A and I go to a con at least once a year, so that's when we dress up around each other. It's not always in lolita though since we both cosplay.
>do you ever twin? If so, what's your favorite dress to do it in?
We haven't twinned, although A and I have some of the same things.
>are you more or less "equal" in lolita (both as good at coordinating with no big difference in wardrobe size) or is one of you well behind the other?
I'd say A is ahead of the game since she started dressing in lolita first. B has a smaller wardrobe because she started dressing in it after both of us.
>is there ever any tension or jealousy related to lolita? (for example bitterness over one of you having a more impressive wardrobe or being more popular in the community)
I don't feel that way, and I don't really think they do either.
>what advice would you give about being friends with lolitas?
idk treat it like a normal friendship.

>>8771737
I have a friend who's getting into the fashion, but I wouldn't say she's a lolita yet even though she has a couple of outfits. She's fat and likes the clothes, but she has no interest in learning about the fashion and comes to me with all of her questions. I think she only got into it because I'm in it.

I don't have the time to answer all of them right now, but I do want to address this one.
>is there ever any tension or jealousy related to lolita? (for example bitterness over one of you having a more impressive wardrobe or being more popular in the community)
I know this sounds really shitty, but I have dealt with this several times and now just don't befriend people who don't have a good wardrobe. I've been a lolita for 8 years and have somewhere between 85 and 90 dresses/skirts, mostly brand. Anytime I befriend someone with less than like 20, there's inevitably conflict centered around lolita at one point or another. I know plenty of people don't do this, but it's so much easier to just avoid risking it altogether than waste the time and emotional energy.

>>8771737

I am in the same boat as you, anon. I'm the only one into Lolita fashion out of my normal group of friends. None of them have ever said anything bad to me about it; they all think it suits me just fine, but they would never participate. They appreciate it from afar, but have no desire to do it themselves. So I do not "force" it on them or even try to covert them.

I only started participating in the Lolita community both online and in my local group, so I am hoping to make some new Lolita friends. But this is a lot harder than I thought. Everyone seems to have been part of the community/group already, and they have all established friendships with one another, that I feel like I'm somehow "intruding" as a newcomer. I'm not new to Lolita fashion just new to the community, so I'm not an ita or a weeaboo or some annoying newbie that asks too many questions. Still I find it a bit hard to break the ice so to speak.

Anyone got any advice on how to make friends in an already established group of Lolitas without being seen as a total ass?

>>8771718
Probably an unpopular opinion for a lolita, but I thought it was terrible. I only got through 75% of the movie and then I had to stop.

You should give it a try anyways though. There's no harm trying and you might like it.

Don't mind me while I live vicariously through this thread
>tfw can't make lolita friends for some reason
>girls on my comm in a similar life stage (twenties, job, stable relationships, shit relatively together) aren't really open to befriending anyone new and keep to their established friend groups
>girls who are more open to befriending new people are all teenagers living with their parents
>they're pleasant enough but still have a lot of maturing to do and I'm definitely not the mother hen type
I wish I would've joined the comm back when I was still an awkward teenager myself. I was pretty ita but it's so much easier to make new friends when you're still so young and excitable.
>polite sage

>>8771760
Best way to make friends, ask about their lives. People love talking about themselves and if they are polite they'll ask you too.

I met my best friend through lolita. Now we don't wear it that much anymore except for big planned events or something small between us and some other friend in her house. We share a big fair of interests and that's what ultimately brought us close, lolita was just a way to meet each other. She's a sweetheart and I'm kind of a cunt so I'm not sure how we ended up being such great friends.
I also had a good friend that I met in the same circle but her attitude became really shitty, paranoid and quite immature and I have a 0 tolerance policy with that kind of people so we parted ways.
Lolita is intense.

>>8771791

Good advice. Do you have any idea on how to broach the subject if the person I want to talk to is always with someone else? They look like bff's and I always feel like I'm intruding. And I don't mind getting to know them both, but then it just feels like I'm forcing myself into their thing and playing third wheel. It fuckin sucks trying to get to know people like this.

>>8771737
I have a friend who's interested, I've gifted her a skirt + petti, and she borrowed pieces a few times to go out with me. I think she's a bit too shy to just wear it by herself though, and the cost doesn't appeal to her either.
Generally though:
>how did you meet?
I have another lolita friend, who I met through a mutual friend. That other friend has since left lolita, so she's my only lolita friend right now.
>what are your substyles?
I'm mostly toned down sweet/sweet-classic, and she is full-blown OTT sweet.
>how big of a role does lolita play in your friendship?
Definitely a big part, we talk about lolita things a lot, and we also both craft a lot of lolita items.
>do you ever do "lolita" things like have tea parties, go to cons, or shop at lolita stores together?
We mostly do pretty unremarkable things like going out to eat and shopping in general, just wearing lolita.
>do you ever twin? If so, what's your favorite dress to do it in?
Not yet, but our tastes are pretty different, so I don't know if it will ever happen. I'd like to though!
>are you more or less "equal" in lolita (both as good at coordinating with no big difference in wardrobe size) or is one of you well behind the other?
She has been in lolita for a lot longer, but I feel like I'm more savvy about things like buying from Japan, and I can help her out with some things, so it balances out. Not sure who can coordinate better, I don't think I can judge that.
>is there ever any tension or jealousy related to lolita? (for example bitterness over one of you having a more impressive wardrobe or being more popular in the community)
She does have a pretty active local community (we live a few hours apart), and I'm way too spaghetti and anxious to join any groups, so I'm a little envious of her always going to meets etc.
>what advice would you give about being friends with lolitas?
Make sure you have common interests besides lolita.

>>8771737
I only have normie friends and one ex-weeb friend (we outgrew it together). They all know I wear lolita but it doesn't pop up much because I already have an eccentric fashion sense out of lolita, except with the weeb friend who makes fun of me for talking too much about Angelic Pretty.

I wanted to make lolita friends, but my local comm is closing down pretty soon. They are all older than me as well, and I don't really want to hang out with 30-year old cringey weebs.

Tips on getting lolita friends online? Though I don't want to go back to tumblr.

>How did you meet?
Friend finder thread on cgl, actually! Turns out we lived in the same city and were both starting out in lolita at the same time.

>Substyles?
We both lean toward classic for sure. I'm getting into gothic now, too.

>How big of a role does lolita play in your friendship?
Pretty big role! We talk about it pretty often. But we have lots of common interests that we also talk about, so our entire friendship isn't based on lolita.

>Do you ever do "lolita" things together?
Oh yeah. We've been to cons and meets together and we've gone out on our own in lolita a couple of times to grab drinks or coffee.

>Do you ever twin?
We haven't. Maybe some day! I've print twinned with another Lolita friend before, though. It was fun.

>More or less equal?
I'd say her wardrobe is way better than mine! Her coords are always very cute and balanced.

>Tension or jealousy?
Never. Even if we both wanted the same prints, we would never be bitter about one having them while the other didn't.

>Advice?
I would say to befriend other lolitas who are on the same level of maturity as you--and they're not necessarily the same age as you. I would also suggest finding other interests in common with your lolita friends if you can. Then you'll have other things to talk about and can always hang out outside of lolita meets/cons.

>>8771801

>I don't really want to hang out with 30-year old cringey weebs.

What makes them cringey? I'm 30 years old and still wear Lolita, so I'm curious if it's because of the age aspect or the weeb aspect. I am not a weeb.

>>8771797
Is this at a meetup? Usually at meetups, most people do want to chat with everyone, but there are some people who only like to talk with friends. Maybe try sitting next to or near the one you want to talk to and when there's a lull with her friend, ask her what she's wearing, about her coord, etc. You could also instead ask about her life to try and get a longer conversation.

I have no lolita friends, I've been admiring the fashion for a year and a half but I only own one dress so I guess you could say that I'm not really a lolita. But still, I would like to have someone to talk to about the fashion.

>>8771844

Yeah, at meetups. I find that there are just too many people sometimes to be able to get a one on one conversation with anyone. So if I single one person out to talk with, it just feels odd to me. If we are at a seated event, all the Lolitas who know each other already try to sit with one another, so it's not like I'm going to butt in between 2 Lolitas who already know each other just to be able to sit next to the one I want to talk to. That's just rude. Opportunities seem few and far between.

>how did you meet?
We were wearing the same dress on a meetup so we kinda ended up walking together the whole time.
>what are your substyles?
Both of us wear sweet.
>how big of a role does lolita play in your friendship?
Pretty big, we usually meet up in the same dress and go for cake somewhere.
>do you ever do "lolita" things like have tea parties, go to cons, or shop at lolita stores together?
In my town there's the cutest little cake shop where we usually go. That or we go window shop online.
>do you ever twin? If so, what's your favorite dress to do it in?
Nearly always, our tastes are super samey, but we don't really have a favorite dress. It's more of a what-dress-fits-the-weather, since her wardrobe isn't big.
>are you more or less "equal" in lolita (both as good at coordinating with no big difference in wardrobe size) or is one of you well behind the other?
Our coording skills are pretty equal, but my wardrobe's a chunk bigger. Lolita is my only expensive hobby while she's also into cosplay.
>is there ever any tension or jealousy related to lolita? (for example bitterness over one of you having a more impressive wardrobe or being more popular in the community)
No, not at all, luckily.

>>8771703
>Tell me about your lolita friendships

I don't have any.

>>8771862
Ah I see. I end up sitting next to people I don't know well at events I've been to even though on the other side of me is friends. But if the girl you want to talk to is always surrounded, yeah, I guess it'd be difficult. You could try and start a conversation online by asking about a coordinate, or if she posts that she plans to wear a certain dress ask if you can talk to her about it at the meetup. Ask about details, how it fits, etc. Hopefully that's enough to get a conversation going, but you will likely feel like you're butting in if she's always surrounded.

>>8771930

She friended me on fb, but hardly posts anything on either her personal page or the comm page, so I'm not entirely sure I can get a convo going online. I mean, I could msg her, but I feel slightly stalker-ish doing that. Haha. I wouldn't even know what to ask her about because she doesn't post anything. I have very superficial relationships with the rest of the girls I have spoken with in my comm, but I just felt like I could be real friends with this one if I got to know her. I have no idea why I feel this way when I know nothing about her anyway.

I'm gonna be honest. My 3 closest friends in lolita are all way the hell better than me at the fashion. Doesn't make me jealous or anything though- I'm newer than they are and still trying to find and define my own personal style and build my wardrobe. They love me through it, luckily.

I also have a normie friend I want to convert- she's expressed some interest and has a really great body for lolita. She'd look so fucking cute.

I don't really have any lolita friends but my boyfriend does wear lolita with me. He doesn't really wear it casually like I do though just to meets and cons. I think he doesn't really like getting the attention that comes with weird clothes and cross dressing.
>how did you meet
We've just known each other for years and grew up together
>what are your substyles
We both wear classic but he's been looking into Gothic more recently and I've been looking into sweet as well
>how big of a role does lolita play in your friendship?
Well its something we both have in common and enjoy but its not really the biggest common thing in our relationship
>do you ever do "lolita" things like have tea parties, go to cons, or shop at lolita stores together?
We go to cons and meets a lot but aside from that we don't really do very lolita like activities
>do you ever twin? If so what's your favorite dress to do it in?
Weve only twinned once before and it was just a bodyline dress
>are you more or less equal in lolita?
I think we're about the same at this point. I own more main pieces than him but he owns more brand and we both just kinda share our wardrobes with each other
>is there any tension or jealousy related to lolita?
Nope none at all!

>>8771938
I would say message her anyway and see how it goes. I'm also kinda like that on my Facebook page, hardly post anything. Do you remember any dresses she has that you could ask about? Do you have similar styles? Maybe ask where she finds her accessories if they are offbrand. But I would say go for it. If she thinks it's awkward, she just won't reply much. Every time I've started a conversation on Facebook, it's gone really well. You just gotta try anon. You'll know if she doesn't want to talk. But knowing is better then not knowing.

>>8771889
>1889▶
>>>8771703 (OP)
>>Tell me about your lolita friendships
>I don't have any.
well why reply?

>how did you meet?
School!
>what are your substyles?
I'm gothic/classic and she's otome/gothic/classic
>how big of a role does lolita play in your friendship?
Not a lot, we hang out in lolita sometimes and send each other links, but we'd be best friends outside of lolita, too
>do you ever do "lolita" things like have tea parties, go to cons, or shop at lolita stores together?
Yeah, cons and meets
>do you ever twin? If so, what's your favorite dress to do it in?
We have three dresses we can twin right now. Forever working on getting more, but my fave is Alice Portrait
>are you more or less "equal" in lolita (both as good at coordinating with no big difference in wardrobe size) or is one of you well behind the other?
I've had a bigger wardrobe and we've both been "known" about online, her before me. She's known for her creative coords with colour, and I'm more everyday, so we're different in that regard.
>is there ever any tension or jealousy related to lolita? (for example bitterness over one of you having a more impressive wardrobe or being more popular in the community)
I don't think so. Maybe low key, since she's naturally competitive, but she also knows I work hard for my brand and she has a better job now so she can totally catch up.
>what advice would you give about being friends with lolitas?
Stop encouraging each other to buy everything....

>>8771940
Voldie?

>>8772069
Negatory. I'm in southern California. Actually, I don't even know where voldie is from.

>>8772004

Will give it a go after the holidays (since everyone seems so busy) and see how it goes! Thanks, anon!

>>8772290
Good luck anon! Hopefully you'll gain a new friend!

>>8771722
Do you have a link? I thought it was on youtube, but I can't find it, and the only one I can find is in portuguese.

>>8772050
Newfag much?

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>>8771961
>your bf dresses up in frilly dresses

Life goals. You must be a lucky girl who is happy.

>>8771737
I'm not in a comm, so all my lolita friendships usually bud from me wearing cute dresses and others who are already interested in cute stuff will start buying lolita clothes.

>how did you meet?
>what are your substyles?
In high school and college class. I got lucky freshman year with a girl who had sanrio plushies, and now she has a sizable wardrobe.
>how big of a role does lolita play in your friendship?
Not much. I have made friends through playing up the "we both like cute things!" aspect and then getting closer from there.
>do you ever do "lolita" things like have tea parties, go to cons, or shop at lolita stores together?
We've been to cafes and lolita stores.
>do you ever twin? If so, what's your favorite dress to do it in?
Nope. We all have varying styles and degree of interest so it's pretty rare that we wear similar things.
>are you more or less "equal" in lolita (both as good at coordinating with no big difference in wardrobe size) or is one of you well behind the other?
For the most part, I have more clothes than my friends, but there are a few girls who have bigger wardrobes in less time. Out of my lolita friends, only two had wardrobes before I met them, though a couple knew about lolita and simply didn't have anything.
>is there ever any tension or jealousy related to lolita? (for example bitterness over one of you having a more impressive wardrobe or being more popular in the community)
Nope.
>what advice would you give about being friends with lolitas?
Use lolita as a starting point rather than the basis of your friendship. Friendship is based off compatibility of your personality, but your appearances. Also, don't let yourself be taken advantage of or take advantage of someone else (both money and clothing wise). True friends that you will keep for life are hard to come by, don't let clothing ruin your relationship.

>how did you meet?
We met in high school. We were two total weebs, and she was actually pretty tomboy-ish
>what are your substyles?
I'm a gothic lolita and she's more into sweet/classic. But she'll wear gothic here and there.
>how big of a role does lolita play in your friendship?
A huge one. Pretty much every conversations starts with something related to the fashion these days
>do you ever do "lolita" things like have tea parties, go to cons, or shop at lolita stores together?
We have micro-mini meets where we'll go out for coffee dressed up but for the most part she doesn't participate in the nearest comm the way I do. To each their own.
>do you ever twin? If so, what's your favorite dress to do it in?
We can't make up our minds on what to twin! Every time we both like a print we like it in opposite colorways
>are you more or less "equal" in lolita (both as good at coordinating with no big difference in wardrobe size) or is one of you well behind the other?
Oh she's way better at coording than me. I'm still a baby rori
>is there ever any tension or jealousy related to lolita? (for example bitterness over one of you having a more impressive wardrobe or being more popular in the community)
Not really. There's jestful "jealousy" but not much beyond that. Like that time we both saw a print on Closet Child we wanted and she got it in every cut before I could get it without knowing I'd seen the listing too lol. But we share clothes sometimes so it's not that big of a deal.
>what advice would you give about being friends with lolitas?
Sharing is caring and borrowing each other's pieces is a great way to get a bigger variety of coordinates as long as you give everything back in a timely manner and end up taking advantage of your friend/being taken advantage of by your friend. It's never happened with either of us but I notice it being a problem with other lolita friendships.

>how did you meet?
We met at a pastry shop meet up. It was one of my first events back, and I felt really alienated by a majority of the attendees. It was really nice to find that she and I had so much in common!

>what are your substyles?
I'm sweet4lyf and she's part sweet/recently turned gothic

>how big of a role does lolita play in your friendship?
Lolita is what started our friendship, and it's a pretty big part of it too. We always talk about lolita stuff together! She's the only one I share my coord or crafting ideas with, and vice versa. We also plan meets for our community together!

>do you ever do "lolita" things like have tea parties, go to cons, or shop at lolita stores together?
Yes!!!! We're trying to plan a little girls day soon.

>do you ever twin? If so, what's your favorite dress to do it in?
I wish we could! Unfortunately we don't have any matching things yet. Hopefully next year we can do a twin coord, that would be fun!

>are you more or less "equal" in lolita (both as good at coordinating with no big difference in wardrobe size) or is one of you well behind the other?
We're both equally skilled in coordinating, but my wardrobe is larger than hers.

>is there ever any tension or jealousy related to lolita? (for example bitterness over one of you having a more impressive wardrobe or being more popular in the community)
Not at all!! We may get jealous of one another from time to time, but it has never affected our friendship.

>what advice would you give about being friends with lolitas?
Not everyone is going to like you, not everyone is going to want to be your friend. The community is meant to bring people together, and from there it's up to you and your social skills! Find common interests other than lolita, ask open ended questions, and be nice. You'll find your diamond in the rough!

>>8773632
I definitely am! He makes a pretty cute girl too which is nice. My only complaint is that we can't share shoes or blouses haha

>>8772338
Diff anon.

I think you can find a link via the lolita guide book blog.

>>8771737
I dress up my friends and take them to meets all the time. Some of them aren't quite weebs but they're weird enough to want to at least try it. It's a win-win too because I get to put together 2 coords for one event and styling someone else is a lot of fun

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>how did you meet?
first year of college, through friends. had no idea he was a weeb or that he was into lolita at all. I had "left lolita for good" at that point lmao but all his talk of scoring dresses off of auctions and meta luckypacks and dream dresses and all the things I loved about lolita dragged me back in!
>what are your substyles?
Gothic (him) and classic-sweet (me)
>how big of a role does lolita play in your friendship?
Honestly, we were good friends before so now it's just like a "hey let's hang out" and we both know it's always an excuse to dress up if we want to
>do you ever do "lolita" things like have tea parties, go to cons, or shop at lolita stores together?
Yessss, brunch is a thing we did. He moved away recently which makes me sad but he visits a lot
>do you ever twin? If so, what's your favorite dress to do it in?
I think we have different versions of the same Moitie print so it is possible. never have tho
>are you more or less "equal" in lolita (both as good at coordinating with no big difference in wardrobe size) or is one of you well behind the other?
Honestly I think he's better at coordinating. Our wardrobes are about the same
>is there ever any tension or jealousy related to lolita? (for example bitterness over one of you having a more impressive wardrobe or being more popular in the community)
Nah. We're both usually just busy salty about other drama and shit going down in lolita
>what advice would you give about being friends with lolitas?
It's great that you share an interest that's important to you with someone, but make sure you'd still be friends with that person if they didn't wear the same frilly dresses as you, shallow friendships are bullshit and unfulfilling

One of my favorites is a girl who lives on the opposite end of the world. I have quite a few longterm lolita friends but I'll go with this one.

>how did you meet?
Online. She was a friend of mine online from other hobbies and I'd post my photos, and it turns out she was into lolita a year or two before I started and had given it a break. I inspired her to come back.
>what are your substyles?
We're both sweet, but she's a little more classic sweet and I'm more OTT and Decora-inspired. We own a few of the same dresses.
>how big of a role does lolita play in your friendship?
It's just another good thing for us to chat about. We can talk about dresses and meets and shopping now, and she's one of my new coordinating consults, lol
>do you ever do "lolita" things like have tea parties, go to cons, or shop at lolita stores together?
I want to! If I could make it to Japan while she's still teaching then she said she's taking me everywhere. But it's like that almost now, she sends me pictures and videos all the time and I do so too.
>do you ever twin? If so, what's your favorite dress to do it in?
We haven't yet but we both own a duck print.
>are you more or less "equal" in lolita (both as good at coordinating with no big difference in wardrobe size) or is one of you well behind the other?
I think I'm behind because I'm newer, and I took a break during the season when she went buy-crazy, but she's also cuter than me. I own more dresses because I hoard.
>is there ever any tension or jealousy related to lolita?
Only a little regarding one specific dress - it was a Japan-only release, and we wanted the exact same cut/colorway. I told her to get it, and tried to look into SS's, but the service to get it seemed way too costly so I passed. I'm vicariously living through her.
>what advice would you give about being friends with lolitas?
If you get along with each other, run with it, but also be honest. It also helps if you like things that aren't just Lolita.

I don't have too many lolita friends outside of people I like to talk to at a meet. But I do have one that I've been friends with since the first meet up I ever attended. She's kind of spergy but she always means well. She also isn't super salty and genuinely loves lolita and does what she likes while keeping within the guidelines, which is always a refreshing contrast from the online comms.

>what are your substyles?
I dress in sweet and so does she. I like pastels however and she almost always prefers black

>how big of a role does lolita play in your friendship?
At first it was definitely a larger role as we felt obligated. But we've been friends for long enough we dont mind wearing normal fag clothes around each other.

>do you ever do "lolita" things like have tea parties, go to cons, or shop at lolita stores together?
I think so ! We don't specifically go out of our way to do strictly lolita activities, but since we both like that sort of thing it often happens. We go to tea shops for lunch or do some crafting together. But we also just do normal stuff like go to the movies.

>do you ever twin? If so, what's your favorite dress to do it in?
She's really into twinning but since we only have 1 dress that we both own a version of , it gets boring lmao. We both own candy sprinkle.

>are you more or less "equal" in lolita (both as good at coordinating with no big difference in wardrobe size) or is one of you well behind the other?
This is actually quite a funny question since she has a massive wardrobe, way more than myself. But I think I generally coordinate better than her.


>is there ever any tension or jealousy related to lolita? (for example bitterness over one of you having a more impressive wardrobe or being more popular in the community)
I hope not ! Shes been through some rough stuff like bullying in school, so I couldn't imagine she'd be the type to be bitter at another girl for such a mundane reason. For myself I have no jealousy towards her