Lolita Comm Thread - 1am Edition

>>8716442
i am attending the LA comm's 'winter lumiere' for the december ILD. The previous ILD event looked nice so i hope this one will be also.

Feeling really good, gulls.
For the first time ever, my comm and that of our sister city south of the border will be having a meetup together. Thanksgiving weekend! Our own members have expanded now that we have more exposure and there will be great feasting in this international metroplex.
>Living the First Thanksgiving dream

any news from Paris lolitas?

>>8716605
None yet
I hope everyone's alright

>>8716605
We are shocked but okay.

>>8716632
Glad to hear everyone's okay!

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Shameless rant because it's been bugging me for quite some time now, and I just need to vent.

I'm not usually one to bitch about "OMG COMMS ARE SO CLIQUEY!" but the admins in our comm are getting ridiculous.
There are a handful of active mods but they're so fucking buddy-buddy that it gets in the way of planning things and doing whats best for the comm on many different occasions.

EXAMPLES:
>admins decide to add 2 new admins
>tells no on in the comm
>no applications
>picks 2 girls from immediate friend group
>one of which has only been in the comm about a year
>other can't coordinate herself out of a bag

>comm tea party with coord contest
>mods choose winner from immediate friends circle
>every. fucking. time.

>comm trying to come up with a new banner
>mod puts up an ugly piece of artwork she commissioned
>"k guys! lets use this!"
>many people dislike it
>"well...lets put it to a vote then"
>large majority picks either group photo or art contest for banner
>barely anyone picks ugly commissioned art
>"well, lets combine them all! so all images submitted must have ugly commissioned pic in it somewhere!"
>wat. no one likes it.
>"doesn't matter! I'm an admin now lolololololol"

its like the mods use the comm as just a huge circle jerk for their friends without any regard to whats best for the comm, what will entice new members to join, or what will give everyone the best experience.

>I want to start a new comm in our state but I'm too chicken-shit to be seen as that kind of bitch

>>8717582
Heh anon yes. I know who you're talking about. Start a new comm, fuck it.

>>8716442
How was tea? I really wanted to go but couldn't due to work conflicts. I'm sad that we aren't having an ILD meet (yet again) given that someone from our comm came up with the idea.

>>8717622
I'm honestly hoping I'm not the only one fed up with the BS.
I'm too much of a coward to start a new comm, but if someone else did, I'd join in a heartbeat

>>8717628
You're def not. I feel the same and I'm sure there's others that do. I'm waiting for them to come in and start whiteknighting themselves though.

>>8717627
I could not go either. I thought there was an ILD event last year IIRC.

>>8717651
they usually do. or they just keep quiet and hope it passes.

Regardless, I'm not actually expecting anything to change. their heads are too far up each others asses to see any flaw in their wonderful group.

I just came here to vent.

>>8716450
dat price tag tho

>>8718207
And it's just to look at vendors and buy their stuff. Not worth it in my book. My friends and I wanted to go badly but we couldn't justify how little we get as guest for the price. Hopefully we do something fun for new years.

>>8717627
It was fun! I'd definitely prefer the Palmer House since it feels more open and spacious, plus better lighting overall. A bunch of people went to Chinatown afterwards for dinner, so it kinda worked out well for a late afternoon event that had an optional extension.

>>8718227
If it's like the previous ILD they ran, I think the price is fair. They had a giant raffle with some really nice prizes that all guests were automatically entered into, decent food, and a cute little gift bag for each guest with pretty art and a button and the lolita outfit planning notepad. I don't understand people who said after that first ILD that guests got nothing. Yeah, we didn't get brand in our gift bags- what were you expecting, honestly?

>>8718326
People complained not getting brand in their prizes? That is stupid to complain about even though I believed the prizes were good and fair. It was fun and the raffle was fair (except the coord contest since there should of been some sort of a walk so everyone can show off their coords properly)

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Hey, fa/tg/uy here.
I just came to /cgl/ to look at cosplay tits, but got dostracted by this thread.
Tell me more about those "comms" is that like a community of lolita cosplayers?

This is kinda cool. I always like it when people with niche interests have little groups to hang out with.

Anyways. You folks have fun.

>>8718578
>lolita cosplayers

1/10, you got me to reply

>>8718649
I don't even think they meant it that way but it still ruffles my jimmies hearing "lolita cosplayers"

>>8718578
And yea basically we have communities for having the same single interests of being in lolita fashion, not lolita cosplay. We make plans to meet up once in awhile to talk about our same interests and make friends which is pretty cool. You make pretty good friends once you get comfortable with everyone.

>>8718578
This
But /v/ instead

>>8718578
Yeah, we have communities in most decently populated areas that do meetups for people into lolita. They're usually pretty fun, but some are really awful. It usually depends on the size and ratio of newbies. The more newbies, the more drama and bad outfits.

Also, lolita is a fashion, not a form of cosplay.

>>8718649
I don't think he's trying to bait, his post was nice and he states he's unfamiliar with our ways. It's pretty easy to have that misconception if you don't really know anything about the fashion. I mean, there's a huge lolita presence at cons, many of us wear wigs and contacts, and the clothes are really princessy and most outsiders know it from anime.

>>8717582
what comm is this?

>>8718868
Are you just going in every thread with this question

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>>8718207
Is completely reasonable for an event with food in a nice space. Why are so many lolita such cheapskates?

Do comms usually list all their events on their main FB page or are some kept separate for some reason? In the event tab for my comm there are no upcoming events and the last one listed was in august. But I know there's an event for Christmas planned, and they had a really big Halloween meet too.

>>8719012
I know for one comm (Idaho) they have a separate comm for posting events, but that's not the norm. I think fb doesn't allow you to invite everyone in a group to events anymore. I would recommend PMing a mod and asking them to do an event sticky post for the fb group so open meetups that are made on a personal account can be viewed at a glance too.

I'm hosting a holiday meetup in my (cosplay, not lolita) comm and would appreciate some suggestions as to what we could do and how to organize it. We have a lot of "just meeting up at a café and hanging out" but have done more organized meets before. Last halloween we did a contest involving a treasure hunt, for example, and in the winter we usually have a few ice skating meetups.

I've considered going to the local yule market but I think there might just be a lot of people there and that keeping a rather sizeable group (I'm guessing we'll be around 20 ppl or something) organized. I also considered doing some sort of secret santa as in everyone brings a gift around X amount of money and then we just kinda mix it up, also allowing people to trade among each other, but as we're a fandom community I'm not sure how that will turn out. What are some suggestions you guys might have?

>>8717582
I could care less about them being cliquey, they're pretty welcoming otherwise but PLEASE make a Phoenix-based group. It seems like all of the shit is in Tuscon, I hate spending hours driving for some tiny meetup. There's definitely enough girls in the Phoenix area for another comm, and the Tuscon girls could always drive up if they wanted to. I feel like this would give the younger ASU girls a chance to plan some meets instead of the same girls.

>>8719110
You don't need another group for that... You can host a phx meet anytime you want.

>>8719135
It's a good excuse to make another comm, though.

How does your comm (or you personally) handle new people who don't take any initiative to socialize during meets? We have girls who come to meets and talk so quietly, barely involve themselves, and leave as quickly as possible. Multiple members report trying to spark conversation with them, but the newbies are so unresponsive. I can understand being this way at your first meet up, but for some of them, they're still the same way at their 3rd or 4th meet. It's really hard to befriend someone who doesn't seem to care about your efforts.

>>8719196
Just keep being kind and trying to get them to join the conversation. Don't alienate them or make them feel bad. Keep on keeping on.

>>8719196
Maybe she's actually enjoying herself as much as she can. Maybe the short contact that's silent on her part is good enough for her.

>>8719196
I'm going to guess that maybe this is me as I am new to meets and am quiet, I'm trying to involve myself but am just shy, it does make me really upset when I go home and realize I didn't get involved as much as I should have because I would love to make more friends and I'll be keeping it in mind & trying a lot more in the future, I'm sorry :) we people do appreciate it but we're just really socially awkward in groups until we get comfortable and get to know everyone enough which could be a while.

>>8719196
I was so nervous my first meet, I only talked to one person and someone later asked if I was feeling alright.

I had never met other lolitas, so I was dying inside the whole time. It's super intimidating, especially when everyone's so nicely dressed and already talking to one another.

Keep on trying anon, ask if they'd like to sit next to you!

>>8719284
Sometimes it seems like everyone knows each other already but unless your comm is super small they probably dont

>>8719196
They're most likely really nervous. It would probably be helpful if you and a friend or two went to talk to them and assured them everyone there was super sweet and act like you're excited to get to know them.

>>8718239
Hopefully we can go to the Palmer House next month. I don't feel qualified to host a tea and there seem to be a few people who think we can't have another one so soon (even though it's not like everyone in the comm went to the Drake/not everyone in the comm is poor) but I hope someone organizes it.

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>>8718649
>>8718666
>>8718685
Hey I ended up rotating to your board again. Sorry if I offended anyone by saying cosplay.
I didn't mean to be insulting.
Comms are a similar concept to our FLGS. Where one is a sort of club the other is a store where people hang out.
We have our cliques and faggots and drama. Except where you people get anal about dresses and hairbows we get ass devastated over games of pretend and expensive army men.

Anyways, /cgl/ is cool in my book.
I think that I will lurk your board sometimes.

>>8719110
Are you retarded? 90% of all meetups are phoenix based. There are only a small handfull of tucson lolitas who plan meetups in tucson (maybe 2?) and even they occasionally plan meetups in phoenix. We have plenty of meetups up here, if you want more, plan some yourself.

>>8719442
I'm pretty sure there is some fa/tg/uy and seagull overlap, to be honest. I dated a 40k nut for a while, and my partner and I turned our linen closet into a board game closet after buying one of those hydraulic lift beds to store sheets and towels instead. I know a few other lolitas in my area have board game nights, and at least two are part of regular D&D groups.

... to be honest, I kind of want to DM a lolita-themed game just for shits and giggles. But I've never DM'd before (only FFRP style and one campaign of D&D), so I'd need some serious help setting it up.

>>8718877
I'm just a curious and salty gull.

>>8719515
>Are you retarded?
Probably
The Tuscon area just seems busier now than before with the newer people in that area. I just think the split is enough to warrant 2 comms, not like it's exactly super busy right now. But then whoever keeps bitching about the current mods on /cgl/ can finally be a mod.

>>8717582
Oh man. Completely different comm, but I'm about ready to make someone in my comm a mod since she's one of the only handful who regularly attends meets, been an active lolita long enough, and have hosted a few meets herself.

I'd hate for the other members to start bitching about it - in terms of us being immediate friends, but then again, we're too small of a community and most members don't even bother posting or liking posts.

>>8719442
lolita is a j-fashion and cosplay is, well, cosplay. (I'm sure I don't need to explain the difference between a fashion and dressing up as a character) our jimmies get rustled when people call it cosplay/a costume.

>>8719554
>But then whoever keeps bitching about the current mods on /cgl/ can finally be a mod.
I wouldn't join a comm like that so they can have fun being a mod of their own comm. The mods are level headed and nice. Have a problem? Just send them a message.

The only issues ive seen pop up lately is there was one person who was originally salty about the new mods being added. The new mods are nice people who are active in the community. I am fine having mods who actually contribute to the comm. Sure it sucks that we didnt have an application process or a vote, but positions as a mod shouldnt be a popularity contest, and im not sure how I'd feel about some people grasping at the oportunity to be in power. Anybody remember Sam and her "if i was in charge of this community" attutude?

As far as the tea party, there were two hosts. A mod, and a regular member. From what I heard Anna was salty as fuck that her coord didn't win. I saw photos and she looked like shit anyways. I also hear she is an attention whore and aggressive to other people and throws tantrums when she doesnt get her way. Jenny the cosplay ita was also there apparently, so im wondering if this is her because she's allready in another thread whiteknighting herself.

A lot of the girls in the comm are friends with eachother. I haven't seen any special treatment. Basic bitches need to step up their coord game or quit crying about how they didnt win a $2 sailor moon necklace at an anime convention tea party.

>>8719583
>everything I wanted to say, but said better
God bless

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>>8717582
Who disliked it? No one voiced that, at least not publicly. All I saw was "no cactuses"? You sound hella fuckin' salty and misinformed.
>pic related oh god it's so ugly get it the fuck out my face

>>8719442
Basically calling us cosplayers is similar to comparing you to Catanfags.

>>8719095

Indie anon?

>>8719628
Did it win the vote? Did it even come in second? If it didn't win the vote then I'm sure there are plenty of people who don't like it. Speaking as someone not in your comm I think it's ok looking but very plain and amateurish.

>>8719398
What's the big deal with Russian Tea Time? I've never been to a meet there but for years have always walked past it and wondered what it's like. There are some people in the comm adamant about avoiding it, it seems, but the people who I talked to at the Drake about it said it wasn't RTT's issue, there were just problems with people flaking out on that meet and causing interpersonal problems.

>>8719583
>>8719110

could there ever be a comm thread without az lolitas? what is wrong with you girls that you can't keep your drama off cgl?

>>8719727
Anon who's been there, I like the place a lot. Good tea, good food. But the atmosphere is a bit dark and cramped, although the decor is nice imo, so maybe some people don't like that? I don't think the prices there are bad either.

>>8719750
aren't there a bunch of az lolitas who support PETA?

>>8719750
I fucking wish. Unfortunately every time we loose one drama mongering idiot, we gain two more who cry every time their super special unique coord doesn't win the best dressed contest and are proclaimed queen of the comm. And it always seems to be the younger fresh out of highschool/i just started colleage so i know everything about everything kids that like to kick up the dust too. The majority of us know to keep personal drama on the dl or actually communicate with eachother when an issue arises.

>>8719702
uh, sorry left my trip on, but I update that comm masterlist (I recommend indie brands from time to time)

>>8719750
It's Arizona there's nothing to do there

>>8719757
Cool, thanks. That seems to be all I've heard from people who had something to say about being there besides something along the lines of "I won't go back". I honestly hope we get to try it again some time, I'd love to go, especially since the prices are good
.

>>8719727
A year or two ago we had too many meets in a row there so people got burned out, and the last time we had a really large meet there some people skipped out on the bill so everyone else had to pay more. (I believe that is when the comm instituted rules that people have to prepay if there's a reservation.) It is dark and a bit small but the food is good, though some of the selections are not traditional tea (it's Russian so it doesn't have that British feel that standard afternoon tea does). I really like to go there for lunch.

>>8716442
I'm looking forward to a potential "TeaHC Party" after reading that one secret today.

>>8719628
Not that anon but I'm in the comm and I think it's ugly too, not to mention super plain.
No one wants to be rude and say anything about it to the person who commissioned it.

It clearly came in dead last (the numbers weren't even close!) So people don't want it as the banner.
Why try to force it?

>>8719628
Also, way to call our comm out.
We have enough bad rep as it is because of Dom and such, do you really have to throw our name around to make it worse?

>>8719583
Found the mod guys!

Seriously though, you say you don't want voting for new admins to be a popularity contest, but why not just take applications?
>it shouldn't be a popularity contest, so I'll just pick all my friends!
It doesn't make sense.

As for the tea party, I agree that Anna wasn't the best coord but come on...all laura did was slap on some normalfag boots and a kids party hat. There were dozens of much better coords, but she got picked because she's friends with the mods.

I'm not even the original anon and this post made me angry.

>>8718982
I'm normally with you on this sentiment about not being cheap for events but they usually offer a little more. I think $60 for hors d'oeuvres and a raffle ticket is a little steep. I'd go for a breakfast, brunch, tea or light luncheon for that price though.

>>8720144
I'm another socal anon, and I agree. I might understand the $60 if there were drinks (and I mean wine or something) involved with those hors d'oeuvres. So I'm passing on this event.
Which leaves me nothing to do for ILD. Sucks that it's only this event going on in my area.

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>>8720089
>dozens
wut
I don't even think there were a dozen entries. Stop spazzing out so hard over a fucking smalltime anime con tea party, jesus. You people have been bitching about this for months. It's not the end of the world because you didn't win a cheap replica SM necklace. Tell me, anon, who would YOU have picked for the best dressed to theme? The child in an Alice costume? Or maybe you liked the girl with the clock bag? Pic related. Please, I am honestly curious who you think should've won the best themed outfit.
>>8720080
Lol. As if it wasn't obvious to everyone exactly what comm this was.
>No one wants to be rude
So it's better to go on cgl and anonymously call it ugly?

>>8719533
I've never actually played a tabletop RPG (there's a shop nearby but the guys intimidate me) even though I really want to, so I'd be 200% down with this. Would you be okay with noobs or would that be too annoying to DM? We're probably not in the same comm but whatever.

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>>8718578

unrelated to your post but...
>mfw I instantly recognize the artist
>mfw they're my favorite doujin artist

My comm is really huge with almost 300 members but we only have one very inactive admin. Its really irritating and I wish we had a few more. Not that we have any drama pop up that would need an admins intervention. But for more basic things like people being accepted into the group or being able to invite the whole group to a meet up (since facebook changed that to an admin only thing for some reason).

Ive met a few lolitas at conventions and had asked them if they were part of the local con. Often they would say they tried to join and even messaged the admin, but never got a response.

>>8720411

>local comm
sorry

>>8719442
Don't worry about the cosplay thing. People just get defensive because it's a very common misconception and people often say it in a weak attempt to bait us because they know it's a major annoyance in Lolita world.

I hope you enjoy lurking our board, but please keep in mind that /cgl/ is where some of the bitchiest people in the fashion dwell. People often end up thinking that Lolita is this merciless bloodbath of a subculture when their first true exposure is /cgl/ because were pretty awful here, but overall it's really sweet and accepting off the bitchier sites like here.

>>8720367

everyone looked like shit and the theme was awful and tacky.

>>8720347
You get to eat as many hors d'oeuvres as much as the venue can supply before the time is up.
Also they have a good number of sponsors for their raffles just like the summer ILD.

>>8720367
Lol why are you so mad? You must be a mod

>smalltime anime con
>biggest anime con in AZ
O-okay...

Clearly if people have been bitching about it, there is something wrong, yeah?
Maybe the mods need to take a long look at themselves and how they run things rather than run back to their friends to cry about how everyone is mean and tries to ruin their perfect comm~

>over winning a SM replica necklace
I never understood you people bringing this up as a point. There were plenty of other prizes, even brand prizes, available.
Even if there weren't, I care more about the principle of it than the actual prize. Mods shouldn't throw up their hands and say "oh well all the coords suck so I guess I'll just pick my best friend" it's really tasteless.

If you want my honest opinion, I really do think Anna should have won...even with as much of a bitch-fit she threw. None of the coords were great, but hers was the best that stuck to the theme.

>better call it ugly anonymously
Yes actually it is.
Someone wants to put out a blunt opinion but not have their name or face attached to it, so they won't be seen as such a meany-poo or have negative flack from the mods since they're insulting the mods very best friend evar!

>>8719931
Lets see if it becomes a thing. I'm local and I'd go.

>>8720724
Another LA anon, but that isn't even the point. It is literally cocktail party food on a table plus the ILD event is mostly just to look at vendors (which is literally half of the hosts who will be bringing their stuff) to buy from them. I rather pay $60+ for a good lunch or dinner meet than to sit around some salon and talk to people while food sampling.

Its not us being cheap but not willing to pay that price to look at vendors, which I can do at a con t.b.h, sit around to take pictures, and talk to people with little pieces of food. Many of us had high expectations after the Summer ILD and many were flat out disappointed how the new one is being hosted.

>>8720732
>implying AZs biggest anime con isnt a piece of shit smalltine con

You must be Anna if you think hers was the best coord. Honestly I thought Alex's coord was the best, but we'd still have a bunch of crybabies bawwing about how the meanie mods only pick their friends and continue to ignore the fact that it was a joint decicion made by both hosts, only one of which is a mod. And yes there were bigger better and brand prizes, but those were reserved for the raffle. Best dressed only got the first choices of a selection of little trinkets, which if i recal correctly, Laura didn't even care if she got one anyways.

>>8717582
>>8717628
>>8717651
>>8717622
>someone made the rant & it wasn't me!

I have wanted to start a new community in Arizona since the two new mods got added with no voting or application. Someone else in the comm was supportive of the idea but I didn't want to deal with the drama. It seems as if people are interested though?

>>8720997
>Left AZ comm a couple years ago, checks out comm page to see who the new admins are
>Laura

Why the fuck is she an admin, she can't even dress herself what the fuck.

>>8720982
>you thought Anna's coord was best? Then you must be Anna!
I guess that means you're Alex, right?


Jfc I don't understand why the mods can't take any concrit on the way they run their comm, even from their own members.
This comm is more of a cluster fuck than the original anon probably even realized

>>8720982
You're retarded. You asked them to honestly tell you which coord should have won
>Anna should have won
>omg you must be Anna
Guess you're Alex then, huh?

>>8720997
The new mods are way more helpful and friendly than the older ones. I don't think this is the problem, how salty are you about not getting a chance?
But yeah there are other problems. Arizona is not as drama free as the mods keep trying to claim.

>>8720997
Anon, please do this.
I'd join immediately. I'm sure there are tons of girls who are fed up with all the shitty AZ drama from the Tucson side.

>>8721018
I don't even want to be a mod, but it's shitty for them to only pick their friends rather than holding applications to find who the best fit for the job would be.
If the original poster of the rant wanted to be a mod so bad, maybe they should suck Candice's dick some more and then they'd probably win tons of contests and be a new mod as well.

>>8721027
>maybe they should suck Candice's dick some more and then they'd probably win tons of contests and be a new mod as well.
lmao I can think of a few people who do this but aren't mods yet

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>>8716442
shit what the fuck happened here?

>>8721005
Where is there any con crit? All i see is bitching and whining about how life isnt fair because someone didnt get choosen as a mod or how they didnt win a stupid contest

>>8721015
I am a different anon i havent asked anything, i was stating who i thought should of won. As much as i like Anna she was borderline ita and definately didnt deserve to win.

>>8721027
There is a lot of drama but i see little to none coming from tucson. Making a new comm would not eliminate drama because the majority of drama comes from salty bitches in the valley. It may be nice now with everyone circlejerking eachothers hateboner, but sooner or later someone is going to want to be top bitch and that wont work in a group of bitches who are thirsty for drama and asspats.

Real question is, who would you prefer to be a mod? The mods we have are nice, helpful, and actually plan and organize things for the comm. There arent many other kind helpful and active members in the comm, let alone people i would even trust in a position of power. In theory I would like to be a mod, but the comm is full of so many salty bitches that I would never want to do it because they will never be happy and will continue to bitch and complain no matter what unless they themselves were in charge.

>>8721045
Context anon? Which comm is this?

>>8721115
It's the Toronto Comm and I have no idea what's going so I posted this here hoping someone would have caps or at least knew what happened

>>8721122
Maybe in reference to the 420 tea party?

>>8721147
sign me up!

>>8721147
someone suggested a 420 tea party????
what the fuck???

>>8720967
How many people do you actually speak for?

>>8721045
Somebody posted looking for fellow lolitas who enjoy 420 / smoking up. Since we have a bunch of minors in the comm, the mods decided that was Not Cool and deleted the post.

>>8721122
I would be so down if I lived near that comm

>>8721096
>Real question is, who would you prefer to be a mod?

Arizona community should dethrone the current moderators, have members submit applications and put it up to vote. H is the only acceptable person moderating at this point, one is inactive, one is too busy with cosplaying and conventions, no one can solve the mystery of how L got picked and C should step down. It would be the fairest method, it ends all the "you're just salty you aren't a mod" arguments, because the community would have decided in a just method.

>>8721045
Sounds like buzz killington

>>8721096
Please see the original rant post.
Mods are shitty because they only do things to benefit themselves and their friends. The concrit would be STOP FUCKING DOING THAT.
People aren't complaining about not winning, or not getting chosen as a mod, but rather that NO ONE got any chance because the mods always pick their friends. I don't want to be a mod but I was super pissed when the new ones were picked without any warning or applications. There wasn't even a facade of choosing, it was just "oh, you're my best friend...wanna be a mod?"
It's bullshit.

And don't kid yourself about Tucson. Everyone knows all the drama whores come from there, including Candice and Dom. Everyone from Tucson is insane.
Although, seeing as how hard you're white knighting, it wouldn't surprise me if you were Candice herself.

>>8721186
I agree with everything except H, simply because she's only been in the comm about a year and into lolita for only slightly longer. At least that was my understanding.
She's a sweet girl, but she only got picked because the other mods are friends with her.

>>8721159
In a BtB secret

>>8721180
But what's wrong about a 420 teaparty? It is just smoking weed, I don't see a problem about it even if there is minors. You see kids smoking everyday at schools where minors are at.

>>8721266
It's illegal, duh. The mods just want to be sure that the comm doesn't get any flack.

>>8721271

It's not illegal everywhere

>>8721271
It is in Canada, which is where this comm is based.

>>8721266
Even if they're probably exposed to it constantly, you still don't want them thinking it's a normal thing to do in lolita. Unless you actually want stoned teens at your next tea party?

>>8720378
Maybe I'll run a skype version some time, but if I ever do come up with something, I'd probably test it with local players/comm members first. I've never DM'd anything in the first place, so I have no idea how easy or hard it would be to do over Skype/long distance. Especially with potential timezone differences.

I started brainstorming last night and thought it'd be fun to have all of the monsters and loot/gear converted to lolita items for the game. Like fighting a Lace Monster, or changing helms being bonnets or different types of weapons as bladed parasols or OTT sceptres or something.

>>8721318
Holy shit. I am so down for this.

I wish my comm would be into this

>>8719931
why not call it high tea?

>>8721318
I play Rogue Trader with not frilly friends this way. We use Skype or Google Hangout for talk and roll20 for dice rolls and maps. Works out great.

>>8721342
Yeah. A friend wanted to continue our campaign this way a few years ago and people were resistant because (for our group) it was a social thing, not a gaming-only thing. I think it might work out okay for frilly fun, but I'll test it out on local comm members first to work through any kinks in the plan.

>>8721348
I mean, it's social for my friends and I too. We don't live near eachother and those that do have full time jobs so this is the only way we can play. I hope it works out for you!

>>8721045
I feel like the mod was completely in the right. Currently in Canada Cannabis and its derivatives are illegal unless under strict dispensing rules for those using medical marijuana. Im sure the person who asked about a get together about doing an illegal activity probably doesnt have a medical marijuana licence (Im just guessing) and if they are stupid enough to post that shit on social media then what ever... but they could have done it with a little more tact... make a normal meet and just set their feelers out to see who is pro-420 and then just privately message them for a get together. I mean that would be the adult thing to do. the comm is full of members who are either pro-420 or at least think its fine but none of those people actively post shit about smoking pot on the weekend or partying and getting high just use common sense is all im saying.

>>8721352
Yeah, we all live within about half an hour of one another. Hahahaha

That's why people responded to the suggestion so negatively. I think it'd be different if we weren't so close geographically.

>>8721159

what are you, some sort of fuckin prude?

>>8721427
No, just not a degenerate. You can't deny it's the antithesis of the lolita culture baka sempai desu

>>8717582
>>8719110
Hey anons if you want to start a new comm I'll back you up and support you. Where are you in the state? I hate Tucson so I would love a Phoenix-based group. Flagstaff made their own group so we should be able to, too.

I don't even want to go to meets anymore because they're just full of fat itas and their creepy boyfriends. Send me a message so we can talk about this some more.

>>8721499
Please don't let Dom in.

>>8721514
Wouldn't that be funny if she was one of the people wanting to make a new comm?

>>8721528
I wouldn't be surprised at all. Thankfully, though, she no longer vehemently fights every time her name is brought up on the internet, so who knows, it could be her, it could be anyone, there's no bitch fit to indicate.

>>8721499
I'm so in! I'll send you an email later anon!

>>8721514
This.
As shitty as the mods were, Dom was even shittier. Please make sure she is still banned from this new comm.

>>8721499
100% down, I'll shoot you an email tomorrow morning. But yeah no Dom.

>>8721179
A good solid 6 girls have told me the same exact thing and then there are few more in here who feels the same. Like I said before, I am more willing to spend over $60+ on a really good high tea event than just standing around and talk to people. I am positive there are a few more girls who feel the same.

>>8721499
>I don't even want to go to meets anymore because they're just full of fat itas and their creepy boyfriends.

This 1000x

>>8721333
>high tea
I like you.

Lolita Comm Thread, Arizona creates a whole new /cgl/-comm edition

>>8721499
Some serious questions:

>how do we decide who to let in and who to keep out
>How to decide mods
>what the rules are

Are we going to exclude people just because we don't like them, or they're fat, or don't like their coordinate? Do they have to submit an app? Do they have to have been in lolita fashion for a minimum amount of time? Do we give trial periods? I only ask because I've been giving a lot of thought on how to make a separate community as successful and fair as possible while preventing itas, dramamongers, people bringing boyfriends/children to meets. I agree to to no Dominique.

>>8721683
People were already bitching about the $40 price tag for Summer ILD, I feel like the mods just decided they might as well up the price and weed out people who thought that way.

in regards to new AZ comm
>red the blood of angry men
>black the dark of ages past
>red a world about to dawn
>black the night that ends at last!

>>8721277
From what I understand, the PM just began the drafting process for legalization. Isn't setting up such a meet way too early?

I'm just some dumb American from Washington state, where it's already legal, but I have to say that I'm with the mods on this one. It's still illegal to serve the stuff to minors here, just the same as alcohol, so there's liability that could potentially land on the mods if something goes wrong.

In addition, I don't want some nervous lolita who's trying it for the first time, and have her freak out from paranoia and have a terrible experience while everyone else is giggly or laughing at her. I know paranoia is one of the less common symptoms, but it can happen.

Sure, you can call the mods buzzkills. But you know what else are even more of a buzzkill? Fines. Spending time in the courthouse, to explain why the facebook group you directed, might have overseen a party where minors partook in alcohol or weed.

No, fuck all that.

If I'm having a tea party with edibles, it's going to be just three or four friends I know very, very well. We'll all be of legal age, at my house and have a goddamn sleepover. We'll start wearing casual lolita (technically any lolita is fine, but you're risking your dress with all the crumbs from the upcoming munchies, just saying). We'll take the edibles, and do activities while we wait for the stuff to kick in. Then when it starts hitting us, brew some good tea and pastries. Talk more. Dinnertime: order thai takeout from the Internet! Change into the frilliest of pajamas. Watch beautiful films, animated or otherwise. Drink herbal tea like chamomile, and then each of us fall asleep in sleeping bags.

The whole damn comm, though? No way no how.

>>8722017
you're absolutely right

>>8722017
Mmm can I come to this meetup? You sound like an awesome host.

>>8722029
>>8722017
I will get on a plane so fast for this.

>capcha: select all the food

Oh I will, capcha.

>>8722017

the secret was about the sf comm, definitely not toronto, why is everyone talking about canada?

>>8722017

Not to mention cyclic vomiting syndrome.

People treat marijuana like it's a completely safe version of alcohol with amazing medicinal benefits and it rustles me to no end. Use it responsibly and don't overdo it.

You sound like you'd be a great host for these kinds of things though. Keep hosting your edibles tea party responsibly.

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>>8722017
I've always wanted to go to WA and this sounds amazing haha

>>8722001
I didn't even think there was people complaining about a $40 ILD tea party. It was pretty damn good and I got stuffed full of sandwiches and tea along with my friends. The venue was pretty cute but it was really small due to all the petticoats and the tables being too closed to each other but nonetheless, it was amazing imo. Well worth $40 and would have paid $50+ for the quality it was.

I hope we have another tea party for new years though that isn't Chado, even though I am okay with it either ways.

>>8721318
This sounds like it would be so much fun!

>>8722061
So sick of Chado, why do so many lolitas think its the pinnacle of tea. I for one am glad stuff is happening elsewhere.

>>8722101
Because that's all they knew when they still had their own Lolita store? Any special guests they had were hosted at a Chado tea party.

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>>8721045
>>8721180
>>8721384
>>8722017
Here's the original post. WTF, at a park, in November?

I'm confused about everyone trotting out minors as an argument against allowing this. They could be excluded, just like how comms have 19+ events. Everyone could also be required to bring their own stuff too.

Being that it's still illegal, I understand that the mods want nothing to do with it right now, but I hope they let up once decriminalization/legalization happens.

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>posts rant to vent about cliquey comm
>doesn't check cgl for a couple days
>meanwhile AZ comm splits because of my rant

Holy shit guys.
I really was just venting, but if you're gonna go ahead and start a new comm, I guess I'm with you.

>>8722101
Basically what >>8722107 said. It is so expensive for the quality of food and the service is horrible.
Are there any tea houses in Hollywood or anywhere else that is good? I went to one in Rancho Cucamonga and it was pretty good for the price however that is the only of the two, the other being the Tea Rose Garden, tea houses I know of.

Also would anyone like the idea of a meet at the Rose Garden by the science center? I would think it could be a good place to host a picnic meet but I don't know since it gets packed on weekends.

>>8721266
I've been trying to organize a High Tea for the last year. I know a lovely cafe where you can freely smoke, bring in your own food (I bake a lot), drink from a selection of freshly brewed tea/juices/alcohol and buy delicious chocolate truffles or turkish delight. Every single time everyone bails on me on the day. It hurts because I don't get that much free time and these days my sessions are just having one doob to myself after work then going straight to bed because I get home so late. I just want to be frilly and get baked.

Even when I went to Amsterdam, I wore loli for the whole trip but the entire group (bar one) that planned the trip in the first place bailed out at the last minute.

Pls London and South East anons, can we smoke up? Weed and lolita are the two things that have forced me to come out of my shell (sperg) and be more sociable

>>8722125
Rose Garden can get kinda boring, theres been a few meets there. Though it might be nice to go when its warmer out.

>>8721683
6 girls? Thats a lot. But desu I kinda agree the price is too high. Maybe there'll be some sort of surprise that makes it worth it. Probably just wishful thinking though.

>>8722119
Eh, in my time off school I would dress up, make myself a picnic and go get high in the park by myself, whatever the season. Bring a good book and some music/an instrument to play...

>>8722119
Wow, this is what inspired the freakout? I get that it's illegal but it's an "illegal for now" situation where it's basically inevitable for it to be legalized and countless people smoke it recreationally. She asked politely enough, it feels like the mods and some gulls ITT are pearl-clutching and being paranoid.

>>8722119
>>8722157
Deleting a rules-breaking post and reminding people of the comm rule that's been broken is hardly a "freakout". It's not like the poster was banned from the comm or the mod posted a big lecture about how "smoking isn't kawaii!!!".

The poster was a dude who afaik has never been to a meet before & doesn't have any photos of himself wearing lolita, which is always a bit of a red flag. People have brought up smoking at meets before with no problems, and I'm sure there are comm members who get together to 420, but I think it's pretty reasonable to ask that it not be put in writing on the comm forum while it is still illegal.

>>8721991
Just quit being a pussy and tell people how you feel instead of bottling shit up and anonymously being a cunt. Is it really so hard to tell people to not bring boyfriends/non lolita friends/kids? Every one who does always asks, so quit being a pussy and just say no. No body is going to be upset with you for it.

The type of people the new comm is attracting, how can you think anything could be "fair" when youre allready shit at communication and the type of people youre attracting are people who say "i wont buy something from you if i think youre ugly" or "i dont want to be in a picture with you because youre face ruins the picture" im all for a new better dressed comm but not if the whole comm is full of dramalamas.
>wanting a comm without fatties, noobs, itas
>calling the az comm cliquish
>not wanting Dom in the comm when she's at least upfront about being a bitch and not a two faced coward

>>8722486
>not wanting Dom in the comm when she's at least upfront about being a bitch and not a two faced coward
The realest shit in this thread.

>>8722486
Eh, on the bright side, if the comm splits, then these two groups wouldn't have to deal with each other and everyone would be happy. Except I highly doubt there would even be enough people for a split to happen.

>>8722486
>>8722545
Nobody wants Dom because she can't dress herself, is abrasive and humiliating to be seen with in public, can't hold a decent conversation and has the manners of a pig.

>>8722486
The people bringing their boyfriends/kids are not asking. One of the girls who keeps bringing her boyfriend and baby is a moderator, nobody wants to be the person to ask her to stop at risk of getting put on the blacklist. Another is a girl who claims "social anxiety so I can't step out of the house with my boyfriend at my side 24/7" so no one wants to be the "big meanie who isn't understanding of social anxiety" and ask her to stop.

>>8722583
Lots of girls in my comm bring their boyfriend and it's fine. Unless they're clearly miserable being there or have awful personalities, I don't really see the big deal.

>>8722583
I still don't understand how people with social anxiety get boyfriends.

>>8722622
Yeah, I don't mind boyfriends. Most of the time they'll dress nicely or join in on discussions, or they'll go hang out with the other guys while us girls do our thing.

I can get pretty awful social anxiety, it was bad at first, but now that I know my comm pretty well, I no longer have it as badly. My husband doesn't like lolita much so I never asked him to tag along. I just sort of bit the bullet and did it. But then beat myself up for weeks on end worrying that I said something stupid.

>>8722545
TOPKEK. Ok dom. That's why you were always backpedaling on half the shit you said anon. Even when there was proof it was always ~~omg shoop!

>>8722691
I'm not Dom, she's not stupid enough to comment in this thread. Y'all got problems, stop pushing it off on her like it's her fault. You already banned her, what's the point in continuing to blame her?

>>8722696
I don't give a shit what she does and I'm not blaming her for anything. But if you're gonna be a huge bitch don't lie when a bunch of screenshots surface. Own it or shut the fuck up.

>>8722713
no u

>>8721991
I know I'm seriously in the minority here, but I really don't mind it when people bring their boyfriends or children.
They aren't hurting anything and they aren't openly making any scenes or inhibiting anyone's fun, so why does it matter if they come?
Maybe make a rule that boyfriends must be dressed up at least to business casual, and children must be over the age of 5?

>>8721991
>making a comm without fatties or itas
I really don't think there is a way to do this 100%
R is one of the sweetest, most genuine people in the comm. She tries really hard and has made a ton of improvement on her coordinating. I wouldn't want to exclude her because of her weight.
On the other side, what do we do about new lolitas who just don't have experience?
How do we differentiate between forever-itas and someone who is new and improving?
Can we accept people on a trial basis?
Or should we just make this comm for "more experienced lolitas" and say we won't admit anyone who hasn't been in lolita for longer than a year.


I really want to join this comm, but not if it makes me look like a catty bitch. I'm just sick of the old mods jerking each other off all the time.
If the current mods stepped down (especially C, L, and D) and new people APPLIED, I don't even think there would really be a need for a split

>>8722763
Say that the current mods stepped down and applications were taken. Who would pick from the applications if the mods stepped down? Are you suggesting a public vote?

>>8722763
I think that "Experienced Lolitas" would be a good mask for the group at least. Or something related to being experienced/older.

>If the current mods stepped down (especially C, L, and D) and new people APPLIED, I don't even think there would really be a need for a split
As for L, even if her coordinates are questionable, she's still doing a good job as a mod. Basically all of the mods other than H and L seem pretty useless right now.

>>8722644
Seriously this. Any normal guy would get pretty sick of their gf clinging to them constantly. If you can't leave the house on your own, you've got fucking problems.

>>8722787
different anon but yes

>>8722803
Actually, a lot of guys are really into clingy girls, it boosts their ego and they think it's cute. I for one would feel really smothered by someone who couldn't leave the house without me.

>>8722763
I second the experienced lolitas comm. I would still want people to apply to get in, because there are people who've been in for over a year that stir drama.

>>8722813
Creepy. Guess they see it as some power trip or something.

>>8722803
It's that and also... how would you meet anyone? I'm just an introvert and I get super nervous about talking to people online. Can't imagine what it would be like to someone with social anxiety.

what are the pnw comms like? Vancouver Seattle Portland etc

>>8722821
Very true! If you had that much anxiety how would you even date? And say they can't leave the house without their boyfriend, what the hell did they do before they even had a boyfriend???

>>8722829
Portland is pretty cool, there's almost always a meet in the making

There's a good number of girls that are well dressed, and the admins are super sweet

>>8722644
Friends of friends. Or work. Or any hobby. Or anything? Just because someone has social anxiety doesn't mean they don't attempt all the normal things everyone else does.

>>8722803
Not true. When you truly love someone and understand their flaws/insecurities, you help however you can. Most of the time if my bf absolutely doesn't want to go, we just don't go, or I take my service dog, or a family member, etc. But generally my bf is super supportive and pushes me to try new things.

>>8722820
Absolutely not.

>>8722821
I have really bad social anxiety but I have never had an issue getting a boyfriend, or girlfriend, or now husband. Sometimes I've met people online but usually it was just through comon friends or at the few social gatherings I do manage to drag myself out to. I guess I don't have it as bad as some people because the thought of "never being able to leave the house without my SO by my side" sounds really unhealthy and abnormal.

>>8722787
Same anon, and yes.

>>8722796
I might have an unpopular opinion on this, but I really think that being able to dress yourself should be a requirement for an admin.
I mean...if she ever stepped up to a normie and said "I'm an admin for the AZ lolitas group" and she was wearing something hideous, how does that make the rest of us look? Like "really....that's your ADMIN?"

>>8722816
If you're looking for a drama free comm, I really don't think having everyone with a "no noobs, no fatties, no itas" mindset is the best way to do that....

>>8721991
You could do a mandatory mentoring program for noobs.

How about one of you just make the new comm and discuss it there, instead of airing out all the information on here?

New comm hasn't even started yet and it sounds like a train wreck, Jesus Christ.

>>8722883
You mean you don't want to rubberneck?

>>8722873
>If you're looking for a drama free comm, I really don't think having everyone with a "no noobs, no fatties, no itas" mindset is the best way to do that....

So true. Please make a new comm and leave. No one will miss these people. Im sure the majority of them will be dramamongerers who allready flounced from the comm because they didnt get enough people licking their butthole when they were apart of it. No one is as fragile from being told no boyfriends/no kids as people are suggesting here. Every event i always see people ask if they can bring their SOs and there has only ever been one person to bring their obnoxious child without asking and she isnt even active anymore. No one is going to ban or blacklist you for making an event and asking for everyone to be 18+ and have a manditory lolita dress code. Holy fuck paranoia-chan where do you bitches even come up with this shit?

>>8722141
I know who this is haha
me and lela will smoke with you sometime maybe get jess involved too

>>8722061
$40 is a great price range. I'm disappointed that it's $60 and only going to be hour derves for food that will run out quick and looking at vendors to throw even more money at.

>>8722545
>upfront about being a bitch and not a two faced coward

If you call making secrets about mentally challenged comm members being upfront and not two faced, then okay Dom, you live that lie of yours far away from us.

>>8723272
>still this mad over a member that was banned and is no longer in the community.

Calm down. You won, she isn't around.

>>8723311
I'm not mad about anything, I just like to get her mad.

>>8722873
>I might have an unpopular opinion on this, but I really think that being able to dress yourself should be a requirement for an admin.
I disagree. Admin needs to be able to organise and have invested interest in the community. This should correlate with being able to dress well, but it's not as essential as being passionate about the position.

>>8721045
OT, but those hearts are making me read this in a cutesy shouji voice with lots of sparkles and kawaii uguu sound effects.

>>8723322
But by that logic, then someone who doesn't even dress in lolita could be an admin, and that's not right either

>>8721147
I wish my community would do something like this.

>>8721465
>all pot smokers are degenerates

Were you born in the 50's or something? You sound like my grandmother.

>>8723634
Obviously anon means it needs to be a mix of both, but id rather have someone who is invested in the comm as admin who constantly puts out meh coordinates to someone who has god tier coords who only wants to be a mod for the sake of being a mod but doesnt contribute in any way and just sulks in the corner bitching about how they dont understand why THEY didn't get chosen as a mod and flounces to make their own comm so they can make themselves mods.

>>8722479
I meant more here, where everyone is flapping their hands over "omg ILLEGAL DRUGS! think of the CHILDREN!" Of course it's reasonable to delete a rule breaking post especially if the member isn't even really into lolita, that is not the freakout I was referring to.

>>8723673
>implying you can't dress well and be a good mod
>implying Laura has done anything for the comm so far
>implying current mods don't suck, and new ones would be a bad thing

stay mad

>>8721318
Omg yes. I'm totally up for that

>>8722967
Arizona moderator detected

Not sure what I'm doing for ILD and totally bummed. I was planning on going to a different comm's meet (more friends in that comm despite it being nearly 3 hours away) but their location is really far outside of the city and I don't think anyone from my area would wanna come with. And frankly, my comm just isn't as warm as this other one. Sad day...

Ok so mini rant about a girl in my comm (if you're part of it, you'll know who it is).
So pretty much she us the biggest ita ever and at some meets goes not even in lolita but calls it so. Complains about being fat but saying at the same time that she's hotter and cuter in lolita being fat than the skinny girls. Complains about how nothing fits her and it is too expensive even though she spends the same amount of money on stupid things (we have a girl who is way bigger and can dress herself perfectly fine). Wears a mlp dress and brings her plushie of one of them. Is loud and rude and uses that's she's autistic as an excuse.

But the worst fucking thing is that she smokes whenever we're outside right new to all of us. When asking her to smoke farther away from our dresses and sick people she doesn't listen.

Really everyone I've talked to wants her gone but I don't think we have a solid reason to get her banned. Gahh

>>8722157
>>8723703
>pearl-clutching and paranoid
>Think of the children

The adults who are OK with pot, would be concerned about themselves more than the "children". The minors can go get blazed on their own; if they really want some they will find it (from other adults).

The legal problem with such a meet is that if there are a bunch of adults present (and I assume this also includes the mods), then the court might have precedence to go after the adults who may have supplied the stuff.

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>>8723868

>>8722829
>Portland
Don't be scared off by what will at first seem like a lot of ita or sjw antics on the page. Many of them don't show to meets at all and the ones that do will flock to their own and you can have peace with the nicer girls.Also, generally, the nicer the meet sounds, the better the girls attending will be, as the weird ones all seem to want cheesy, childish, and cheap.

>>8724232
I second the last part, the more expensive the meet, the less itas. But I've never had a bad time at a meet personally, although I know that will vary from person to person.

Everyone's pretty cool though

>>8724232
What kind of attendance will the swap meet have?

>>8724311
I wouldn't expect much, I don't think the last one turned out very large

>>8724032
>But the worst fucking thing is that she smokes whenever we're outside right new to all of us. When asking her to smoke farther away from our dresses and sick people she doesn't listen.

That warrants at LEAST a mod warning. Disrespect to fellow community members at meets.

I found out the place I'm moving to has no comm and I was considering creating one. What do you guys think of making it 18+ or 16+?

>>8724060
This. I'm a huge stoner living in a decrim state, but I absolutely refuse to be around minors smoking weed. It has pretty much nothing to do with the "think of the children!" mentality and more to do with the fact that the second minors get involved, you risk getting arrested and possibly going to jail. Plus, smoking weed with teenagers is extremely lame.

>>8724311
It varies, I've been to really big ones and small ones. It's hard to say due to it being free so people aren't actually committed to going.

>>8724457
I think you're bound to have people get pissy if you have an age limit on your comm. I wish mine had, but really, it probably wouldn't be possible unless you're prepared to take a lot of shit from people who are angry about either not getting in or "muh discrimination"
My comm has no age limit, but often 18+ meetups where we go drink beer or do another 18+ activity.

>>8724032
Kek, I know who you're talking about. If anything, see if a member has asthma or weak lungs and use that as an excuse.

>>8722829
Vancouver has a fair amount of well dressed girls. Seattle is a crap heap and a lot of girls browse cgl.

Can I rant a bit?

>Be a lone lolita.
>Sudden neccessity of having lolita friends to go to museums and shit.
>Search nearby comm.
>Full of fat itas that dress terrible and think they are special snowflakes because their dresses are handmade and original (colors that clash, short skirts, not even lolita related clothes, etc.)
>Or full of old shit women that think they are special snowflakes because they've been in lolita since 5ever.
>Pin-up style everywhere (also very special).
>Everyone is special.
>Shit.

>>8723026
I think she hates me now for posting this. Also probably not a good idea to mention names, it will exacerbate the situation, but I would like some company rather than sitting in a park in the middle of the night by myself. That is if I can even be part of the community anymore. Reconsidering Hyper Japan...

>>8724703
are you too special to associate with them or

>>8722849
I'm the same. Very awkward but I met my first boyfriend online 3 years ago. He moved to my city last year but I usually go to the few social events in my calendar alone and sort of hover around one or two 'safe' people

>>8724853
No, I just feel uncomfortable the way they are.

>>8724572
Are there even any 18+ comms?

>>8724849
Why don't you think you can be part of the community anymore?

Planning my first meetup on short notice! What kind of things should go in a free goodie bag, I bought some cute little shaped erasers and will buy some candy. What else? I considered buying earrings since target had lots of them cheap. Where should I go to buy stuff before Dec 5? If anyone has lots of stuff like jewelry and bows that I could buy around 10-20$, email me. I found some cute sprout hairclips on amazon but the shipping will take too long from china, I want stuff like that. In the US

>>8725147
When I've done goodie bags in the past, I'd add home made gifts or accessories, bows, or rings, things I can easily and cheaply assemble and try to keep everyone's tastes in mind if I knew them. Candies, chocolate, bags of tea and/or this time of year I'd include little packets of hot cocoa or apple cider mix. Another friend bought some vintage jewelry from thrift stores for really cheap and included them.

>>8722846
This. It takes something major for me to go somewhere alone. I can do it, but I prefer not to if at all possible. My comm is cool about having boyfriends there. If the guy was being creepy or miserably bored or weirded the majority of people out, I can see how that would be a problem. But a nice guy who talks to everyone and is having fun, I don't see why girls are always weird about that. Don't hate just because he's not a brolita or ouji. Just make friends with both and let that girl be happy that he came with her. damn

>>8724860
Help them! Make some friends. There may be at least one nice girl you click with, and when you're good friends with someone you will rub off on them a bit at least.

>>8724311
>>8724317
>>8724565
I'm not in the comm anymore but I'm trying desperately to get rid of a dress and it just ain't selling. Do you think anyone would get asspained if I went to the swap? Its literally my last dress since I quit last year.

>>8724860
>>8725705
Seconding helping them and trying to make friends. There may actually be one or two people who are getting tired of the same old stuff.

>>8722803
Not all people who have social anxiety are clingy. I guess it depends on the level of anxiety you have. Some people can have it but can be fairly sociable if the situation calls for it and are open to making friends but tread very carefully. Others can't function at all in any social situation and need someone to hold their hand through the smallest of everyday social tasks.

>>8725711
Nah, swap meets bring people out for the woodwork for that purpose.

>>8725711
No and if anyone did so what? You're not participating anymore so who cares what they think when you're gone.

>>8725729
Just be kind about the way you say things and don't embarrass them in any way and people will generally listen once they know you.
There are some ideas I had for outfits that worked _so_ well in my head--but then I'd show my best friend and she'd be like "That green looks so off from that mint that it looks blue. Don't do it. I think this one would look really pretty though." and pick out some item I had sitting there but didn't think to pair with the outfit. We taught each other a lot just hanging out and touching up our coords before meets! We also have introduced each other to new music and movies and other interests too, so I wound up with a really good friend just because I went out of my comfort zone and tried talking with someone new.
There's also a girl who tells me all the time that my honest answers to her questions with explanations of why, along with advice and concrit I'd send privately (I don't like posting concrit for everyone to see, I think it's rude. And I always ask the person if they would mind if I shared my thoughts first.) helped her out so much when she was new. So people really do appreciate it. It's really just how you say it and the situation.

>>8725711
Have you tried the buy sell trade thread on here?

>>8725082
>I think she hates me now for posting this

For posting shit about other people on 4chan. Names make it worse.

As time passes, I've come to realize how much I dislike my local community and a majority of its members. It's not that they've done anything to me per say, but their personalities are not my cup of tea. They're either into yaoi/cosplay/jrock crap, or they're elitests. I have quite a bit of brand myself, but I don't get along with the brand whores. I'm kind of just there. Should I just leave and become a lone lolita? I feel like that meme of the lolita standing in the corner.

>>8726793
Why does everyone have to make a big deal about 'leaving' a comm and going lone wolf. It's just clothes, it's not like splitting off to form your own band or whatever.
If you aren't enjoying yourself then don't go, you can always go to meets in the future when you feel like it. If you don't want to go, but still wear the fashion, then just do it
Not every decision is an irreversible life choice that needs a label.

>>8726828
this
THIS
>>8726793
just stop participating as much, you're not special.

>>8726831
>>8726828
>never left a comm before
you guys are so wrong. even after i moved out of the country, some girls in my old comm asked why i don't come anymore. alot of comms will think it's them, or think something's wrong if you want to take a break. unless people don't like you at all, people will become concerned, especially since disengaging from group activities like that is a sign of depression. people will ask if something's wrong, they will assume there is something wrong.

>>8726836
Is your community quite small? Unless you were particularly good friends with them, I don't see why they'd be concerned.

>>8725147
Candy/chocolate, single serving teas, hot chocolate, or flavoured coffee, stationary like cute pens and stickers, makeup samples or minis such as nail polish or lip gloss, cute art or custom made accessories. You could do other seasonal stuff if everyone is into Christmas like cookies or ornaments.

>>8726836
That's why I'm hesitant to disappear abruptly. It's not that I think I'm "special" or something, it's because the comm is small and takes shit personally all the time. They consider themselves a tight knit group, but they don't realize how many loose threads there are. I'll probably just use school as an excuse to leave to comm if people still see me in lolita.

>>8726026
...you didn't post shit about anyone though
I think you are being paranoid - if you are worrying you might have upset someone just PM them to check. Chances are it's a misunderstanding and you can nip feeling shit in the bud.

Are there any of these around Dallas?

Can anyone tell me about the Jacksonville, FL comm? How are they there? I think we're moving out there next fall and I'm debating if I should start trying to join now or wait til it's a bit closer to the move date.

>>8725884
Pretty sure I have? I've tried a ton of places so its hard to remember. Its been a year and has technically sold twice but the first time the girl never paid customs and the second girl measured herself wrong and sent it back.

>>8726964
Look up Metroplex Lolitas on Facebook.

>>8727153
Gotcha, thanks! Figures that wouldn't have showed up when I searched.

>>8725711
I'm in a different comm and someone who had left lolita is coming to sell her last things - she asked on the fb event page and a few people said it was cool.

>>8724060
>>8724457

Are all of you too thick to understand that "no people under 21 (or whatever the legal age in that state is) at the meet" is a possible rule? You could check ID if you had to. People have done it for meets with alcohol.

>>8727168
Re-reading that I don't think it make sense. I'm in a different comm and we are also having a swap soon, is what I meant.

>>8716442
Hey, sempaitachi, are there any lolita groups in New Zealand?

>>8727057
Shits cursed.

I'm planning to attend the ILD event with the southern Ontario comm - however it's my first one, and unfortunately my only Lolita friend isn't not able to go. I'm wondering how friend it is? Is it cliquey, or do they readily accept newcomers?

>>8727411
Only slightly cliquey. At an event this large, you'll have no problems meeting people.

>>8727355
Guessing you are the same anon, but
>>8727701

>>8724703
>iktf
At the time I didn't realize there were multiple comms in my area and so I joined the first one I found, which was full of fat women who (badly) made their own dresses out of cheap quilting fabric and sat around talking about how they were so much better than skinny bitch brandwhores because at least they were unique. At the time I was quite young but still managed to save up for two or three brand pieces, and I also liked to make things myself. The first time I wore a brand piece to a meet was a fucking nightmare that scared me away from lolita for years.
>be 15 or 16, completely in love with my new dress bought with money scrounged together from babby's first job
>simple jsk with embroidery/applique
>arrive at meet and at first the other girls fawn over me
>"how did you do the embroidery, anon?"
>oh I didn't make this myself, it's actually BtSSB, I finally managed to save up and was so excited to wear it out etc. etc.
>see their faces fall
>one of them quickly turns around and starts loudly praising another girl for her handmade dress (which she had worn to nearly ever meet before this one so it wasn't exactly new)
>everyone sits down
>people seem to make it a point not to sit near me
>I'm obviously being excluded from conversation
>conversation quickly turns to brandwhores and how terrible they are and at least we don't all look like clones and how do they even fit those ridiculously tiny dresses anyway are they all anorexic or something
>starting to feel extremely uncomfortable now, staring at the table
>the effort it takes not to cry is drowning out the rest of their conversation
>suddenly hear my name
>"sorry, what?"
>"we were saying, now that Anon thinks she's too good for the rest of us, she might as well join the elitist comm, right Anon?"
>wait, what comm, what are you talking about
>"ha, aren't you keen to leave us behind!"
>they turn away from me to talk about something else and I run to the bathroom to cry, then quietly leave
>cont.

>>8727810
>get home, take off dress, push it to the back of my closet and don't look at it again for several months
>don't go to any more meets
>push lolita to the back of my mind and focus on school
then
>graduation, moving to uni
>find dress at the back of my closet
>instantly fall in love again
>spend the rest of the day browsing the internet for lolita things
>want to talk to other lolitas again but afraid of local comm
>remember they mentioned something about another community
>scour the internet for this mythical group
>find them on FB
>nearly everyone is well dressed, good mix of brand, BL, handmade, indie etc.
>everyone is super nice
>my people.jpg

And I guess that's the story of how I became an evil elitist.

>>8727411
Yeah, you'll be ok as long as you're not one of those snowflakes that likes to look ~mysterious~ sitting in a corner alone, then wonders why no one speaks to her (we have had this).

I'm a barely-active oldfag in the comm, so I don't really have any friends at meets either, and I just chat with whoever's around. I find people who bring friends/are in cliques are worse off, since they just talk to the same person all evening.

>>8727818
>>8727810
Name and shame the comm? If they haven't disbanded or anything. You might save someone from the same experience.

>>8727818
Ah im sorry anon. At least you finally found a nice comm to hang with! Unrelated, but what dress was it? I love brand dresses with embroidery!

A girl in my comm got really angry because another girl posted her coord (without credit) on her personal page.
Is she just being irrational? I never had my photos reposted, so I don't really understand.

>>8728686
I guess it depends? Is the personal page a FB fan page or just her own timeline?

I guess I'd be flattered by the latter, but consider the former potentially creepy/invasive, since fan pages are typically public, and I keep most of my photos limited to friends only or friends of friends.

>>8728688
I think it was the personal timeline, but it was public, because I could also see it.

>>8728693
If she was raging about the lack of credit, then she's just being an idiot. If she's upset that someone she knows shared a friends-only or friends-of-friends photo in public, I'd share her annoyance.

But a hissy fit or tantrum is pretty uncalled for, regardless. I don't understand why people don't just PM someone when they have a problem. FFS.

>>8728698
On her FB rant she said she messaged the other girl to remove the post, or credit it, but the poster ignored it, so that might also be why she was raging about it. I think she did try to PM the other girl.

>>8728703
Fair enough, then. Not much else she can do except possibly report it for IP violation with FB, I guess.

My comm's fb group moderator just added a fuck ton of rules to the page
"Must attend one meet a year"
"Must pre approve male guests with a moderator before coming to events"
"If you plan an event or meet a moderator must be in attendance"
"If it is discovered that a member has made a negative post about another Lolita, in this group or any other, that person will be removed from the group."


Liiiiiiiiiiike okay your majesty??

>>8730319
I think for "official events" the pre-approved male rule is actually not a bad idea. Everything else is stupid though.

Out of curiosity, do you guys like to visit other comms when you travel? If so how do you go about it and what are your general experiences.

>>8730319
Lmao @ "If you plan an event or meet a moderator must be in attendance." Someone is on a serious power/ importance trip.

I do like the male guest rule as well though.

>>8730359
I am also curious. I'd like to plan a trip to texas and visit family in corpus christy and Houston, and visit both the comms out there. Im allready apart of the fb groups, but i dont post since my trip wont be for some time, plus i dont know anyone there. I'd really like to do something with lolitas while im there but ive had friends try to visit comms before while on vacation and be blown off, even after asking a mod for assistance

>>8730371
>I've had friends try to visit comms before while on vacation and be blown off, even after asking a mod for assistance

can confirm, I don't bother anymore

>>8727153
Metroplex comm sucks

>>8730400
You suck

>>8730371
Check out the events for the comms and see if any work for your schedule! And i'm in hlc and I'm very sure our mod (Becky) would be happy to help you plan the meet! We've had people visit our comm before and had successful cute meets welcoming them. Just try, there won't be any harm done if you do imo

>>8730360
Actually my comm instituted this rule after a couple meets hosted by people who either cancelled their own meet hours before/didn't show up to their own meet/planned an expensive tea and didn't have people pay ahead so the bill was short. It's been a big help avoiding problems.

>>8730359
YES! I've visted a few and everyone was really nice! One of the main ones i wanted to make a meet, it was a bad time due to con season so it didn't work out. But, i'm gonna visit again next year and give it another go, I've never not felt welcome =D

>>8730319
>must pre approve male guests
Not trying to sound like meninism here, but I feel like "must preapprove noncommunity members" should be a thing instead. So you can cut out both creepy men but also catch some of the non-lolitas friends who just show up and try to be friendly with everyone while wearing random tumblr shit

I think the rest of the rules sound pretty fair. Were you planning to shit talk comm members at a rogue meet with unapproved men?

>>8730319
My comm has gotten so large, 300+ now in the facebook group and only 20 constant attendance, and 50 max at ILD meetups. Everyone else is just former lolita or "admirers" of the fashion.

I wish my comm would move off facebook and go use meetup.com instead. After a certain body count, meetup starts charging annual fees, and mods can ask members to donate like $5 per year to be part of the comm. Anybody who can't afford $5 per year probably should not been in this fashion anyway.

>>8730319
how many people are in your comm that sounds absolutely terrible?

>>8731058
yeah totally.

>>8730666
I second this

Are there any lolitas in College Station/Texas A&M area? I might be moving there soon for a job. Which Comm should I join?

>>8730400
nah they aight

The Kansas City comm is going to hell in a hanbasket right now, thanks to all the Kentucky and StL leaders needing to post their thoughts

>>8732171
Thoughts about ... what?

>>8732171
What, when, where, and why?

>>8732171
How dare you not post caps

>>8732171
Who is saying what now?

>>8730400
Bro you are far too salty

>>8726943
She PM'ed me letting me know exactly what she thought of me and my behaviour. I've deactivated my Facebook because I just keep getting myself into this kind of trouble. I'm better off keeping to myself

>>8731176
Sorry, but you're probably going to have to travel to one of the big cities for meets. ATX lolitas or Houston Lolita Community will be the closest options.

>>8732725
Ugh. I've heard not so great things about the HLC in general. I think I'll go and join ATX Lolitas.

>>8727000
Those girls are nice from what I've seen. I'm in the comm despite being in another part of Florida but I know a couple of girls from that comm that are pretty cool.

wtf is going on in SD comm. Who keeps making shitty secrets about people and trying to stir up drama?

>>8732738
I'm in the Austin comm. I put my throwaway email in the name field in case you move out here! (But on a side note: I wouldn't take everything you hear about HLC to heart! They're a rather large comm which means they have way more members. They have a ton of sweet members and their meets are honestly really fun.)

>>8732808
Ugh I know. This happens every now and then, and in the past it's been someone who has left the comm trying to stir things up. But this time there hasn't really been anyone who flounced recently, so I don't know what is going on.

>>8732738
What's the ATX comm like? I've been hesitant to join...

>>8733095
Very nice! Meets are kind of spread out and some people are flaky (I'm guilty of this myself) but it's a nice group for sure. Lots of meets in north Austin since I think that's where the mods/most active people live. Feel free to shoot me an email if you ever wanna grab coffee or something. Always down to meet more gulls.

>>8730385
Unless you've met or chatted with someone from a neighboring comm, why do you expect strangers to bend over backwards to accommodate your visit?
Just because you share a common interest doesn't make it any less weird.

>>8733421
Agreed. I wanted to reach out to a comm in a big city I recently visited, but thought that might be a little odd. I think next time I visit that city, I'll be with another Lolita so we might throw it out there that we are visiting on whatever weekend and if there's an event going on that we could attend, we would love to join if it's not an imposition. There's a polite way to ask and I certainly wouldn't be butt hurt if I didn't get any responses.

>>8730654
I thought the same thing. Singling one gender out is a good way to seem unfair and upset someone.

>>8719583
>Jenny the cosplay ita was also there apparently, so im wondering if this is her because she's allready in another thread whiteknighting herself.

Is she ita-notorious where she's from? She got on my nerves but was giving her the benefit of the doubt cause she's newer.

>>8730371
I think it would be different if you were to visit another country. Like if I went to Australia, I would want to meet the local comm just to get the scoop on where to go and what to do. The US just isn't as interesting, it's pretty much the same shit all over

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Fucking hate it when people don't want constructive criticism.

"Ass pats only please!"
The dress is fine too, it's not like people would be ripping her apart.

>>8736776
>>8736776
>I know it's not perfect so not looking for constructive criticism thanks
>I know it's not perfect
>so
>no constructive criticism

>I know there's room for improvement so don't tell me what I could improve on

>>8736776
Yeah I cringed too. Come on, that group sucks, people ask because they are too lazy too look things up thereselves. OR they post stuff for asspatting, it's getting tired.

What happened with emoji dress girl?

Is anyone familiar with the Upstate SC comm? I'm interested but nervous about hopping into the Facebook group before knowing what i'm getting into.

Where is the list of the FB lolita comms? Sorry for dumb question.

>>8732171
Anon, you need to give more details. I thought that St. Louis was down for the event next year. And where the hell does Kentucky come in on this? Caps or it didn't happen or at least a back story. None of this is making any sense.

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I'm so sick and tired of being a mod honestly, it only leads to stress thanks to having to deal with fucking idiots who can't even read the event description. then so many flakes and cheapos. on top of that the other mod in the group never does anything and always takes credit for what they do not do, ive never even gotten a thank you from others and its starting to piss me off because i feel so unappreciated.

any other mod stories? how do you deal with people and do you ever feel unappreciated as well?

>>8743560
Cheapos, people complaining about lack of meets, people never planning meets themselves, trying to help the noobs and itas in the right direction without being a dick, nobody listens to your advice, people complaining about literally everything. Nothing is good enough for anyone. No one is ever happy. It's tough. Thankfully I have a great mod team and we share the burden equally. And despite all the bitching and complaining we tend to have a lot of fun interesting meets. I feel like most of the complaining comes from the 18-19year olds. Fresh out of high school and still in that shitty high school mentality. All the older members kick ass though. Maybe I should just start hosting more 21+ meets. The few we've had in the past have always gone really well.

>>8743560

I can relate to this a lot. It starts to get really tiring when 80% of the questions asked on the page are already answered in the description/FAQ.

>>8743618
Before i add people to the group i link them to the faq and 75% of those people go on to post questions such as "is x item lolita?" and "where can i buy lolita if i am plus sized" even when we have answers for those questions in the faq

>>8743614
Ugh, you hit the nail on the head. So many of these things are prevalent in the comm I mod for, and it's made worse by the fact that I'm practically the only active mod who attends or hosts meets on a regular basis. We have a lot of younger members who are brimming with ideas for meetups, but rather than reach out for help hosting, they sit and fume and post passive-aggressive little bits of snark or "reminders" that they want a meet at a certain place.

I'm not sure if that's worse, but we also have the issue of people deciding to host meets at the last second (less than 2 weeks out from the date) so there isn't enough time to drum up interest or people don't have enough warning to request time off of work or arrange rides.

Fucking Paradiso.

>>8721147
can someone set this up in the LA comm

>>8743614
op of that post here, we have a lot of noobs and itaa as well, and last time one of them didnt even reply to the long-ass advice one of the girls wrote for them. its so upsetting seeing that behavior in beginners, they want everything handed to them and dont bother to do their own damn research. and i wish we could do 21+meets but our comm isnt big enough

>>8743618
its gotten to the point with us where people ask for the time for the event even though it is right THERE

>>8743635
we've had members with ideas as well but they are scared to host their own meetup, which i dont understand? you just want me to do it for you? why are people so autistic

>>8743614
I see so many complaints about there not being meets in their specific region of the state. "All the meetups happen in x-area." They happen there because there are people willing to host meets more frequently. Host a meet, even if it's just a dinner and shopping outing and stop bitching that you can't make it because everything is too far away.

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>tfw want to plan meet
>been in comm for a year+ now, been wearing lolita for 2 years, hopefully not annoying or ita
>can never attend meets thanks to work+school, been to maybe 4 meets
>trying to make some more time and effort for meets, but there's not anything planned until January (understandably)
>pretty sure I'm on that "oh I know who that is" but "yeah we don't really talk" level with every person in the comm
>kind of spaghetti in one on one conversation so don't talk to anyone online
So would you attend I meet I held or no? I probably wouldn't, but I'd like to get some more opinions. And maybe some newbie meet ideas?

>>8743700
holy fuck thank you. i honestly think im gonna rip out my hair thanks to the people in my comm, makes me want to just stop trying to make this a decent comm and just not associate with it at all

>>8743710
just fucking do it. mods need help with this shit its really hard when you have to host everything, even if just one person goes its worth it because it gives you the chance to meet new people and become closer to them. its always best to try, youd be surprised with how much fun youll have. as a mod i try to attend every single meetup and am ecstatic when new people host them

sorry if im being a little passive aggressive right now im just really mad at my comm at the moment, hopefully itll pass soon

>>8741602
It's pretty inactive but very nice, so far as I know. A lot of the upstate lolitas meet up with the North Carolitas bc their comm is bigger. Meets are usually Greenville or Clemson based because the only people that host them live there. No one really wants to step up and host events. I try, but usually can get no more than a few girls together at a time.
You should join! I'd love to have another lolita to interact with.

>>8741289
Did you not see last weeks secrets?

>>8743780
anon its impossible to read this, perhaps yea do the separate sections

>>8743780
lmao why would anyone ever want to remember this
that being said, pls post it again, this one really is unreadable

>>8743719
Are you me? These are my feels lately too, as someone who is a mod of a fairly large comm.

>>8743780
Why? Honestly, as someone in the AZ comm, who fucking cares about 2-3 whiners saying they'll make their own comm. They won't do it, and even if they did good riddance.

>>8743947
i honestly dont think anyone else understands what mods have to go through, but mods. dear comm members please appreciate your mods more and actually try to make it a community by participating more in creating events and not causing bs

>>8724457
No need, just make certain meetups 18+ if you have to, say that under-16s have to have parental permission, etc. It's what my comm does. And of course under-13s aren't supposed to be on Facebook.

Personally my dream comm would have a no guys rule, or some strict-ass attitude to guys that aren't experienced in the fashion, especially if they're older. I have no objection to brolitas my own age but no matter how much they're willing to spend on AP, a 40-year-old guy that wants to hang around with a bunch of mostly 18-28-year-old girls is shady as fuck, and I wish people would give these guys less leeway. No "muh ageism", "muh transphobia" (because sissies are the same as trans people, right?), just fuck off. Time and time again these people have been shown to be sissies or creepers and I'd rather be in a comm that didn't let older guys in at all than one that waited until there was proof of an offence before kicking.

>>8743651
It won't be so bad anon. Let's just see what happens.