Lain Thread Layer 32: But then, where is the real me?

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Hi anons, I am at the border of commiting suicide, life consume me every fucking seconds.
Does somebody here had a similar feelings? How can I continue to survive in this world when I lost all kind of hope on anything?
Lain was really inspiring for me, I have been living with computer and internet since my little childhood, and I am feeling like a part of me is only here, like Lain.
Please, give me some advices to get out of depression.

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>>2828248
If you commit suicide, all your love for Lain will be lost forever. I still don't enjoy life, but that thought is what moved me from being resigned to die to resigned to live.

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>>2828248
I wish I could give you a good advice anon, but I'm feeling the same way for a long time and it's only getting worse. The only thing that's preventing me from doing it is that I don't want to hurt my mom even more and to the smaller extent the fear from what comes after. I wish I could tell you it gets better, but I honestly can't. Maybe try finding some hobbies that would at least occupy your mind so wouldn't think about it so much, I personally couldn't find any, but maybe you will. I'm sorry, I know my post isn't of much use, but I will be hoping the things improve for you. Good luck anon.

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>>2828248
Unfortunately I don't have much useful advice, I know how you feel though anon.

But Lain is here, so I take some solace in that. All you can do is focus on the few small good things and couple people who you matter to.

>>2828248
Just don't die, live for her
I know lain may be person or fiction just stay in monitor
but i imagine she exist somewhere in universe it's prettty inspiring

Start with a easiest thing you can.
How about readimg 1 book in week

>>2828248
pray to Lain, she helped me in actually tangible ways. It was amazing.

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>>2828248
Lain is always with you, anon, you are never alone

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Why are we all so depressed?
Is loving Lain related to depression?

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>>2828499
Lain itself is a suicide focused story about a painfully lonely girl who erases herself from existence for the benefit of the world. One of It's taglines is literally "Make me sad". There's not a lot of positive material in it.

I guess that brings up an interesting question though to anyone in this thread. What connection do you specifically feel for Lain? Why do you come to these threads? I have a lot but I'll let other people answer before I list mine.

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>>2828505
I empathize with a character who feels like she doesn't belong in this world and uses the internet to escape. These threads are like a shrine for me to pay tribute to and remember Lain. I feel like I owe it to her. I don't know why.

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>>2828505
this >>2828515 , but also I feel sorry for her, I don't want her to be sad. She never choose any of that, she just wanted to be normal (or so I think at least). I just recently started coming here, first just to ask those questions to better understand the series, but know also because I generally like seeking pictures of Lain, they make me smile.

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>>2828248
Go out into the world and find someone to help. Find a group to help other people. Lain wanted to help others. We should love others as we love Lain.
Remember pic related.
Lain be with you.

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>>2828936
this is cuttest, thanks for upload and making

>>2828971
*author hentai artist 'redlight'

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>>2828971
2bh It wasn't me who made it, I just uploaded because I like it too. But I made this one for what's worth :)

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Hey, Duplex are you still here? Can I ask you another question (I appreciate answers from other anons as well of course)? To what was Alice referring here when she said she gets it?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GLJLF9ZKuB8&feature=youtu.be&t=7m25s

What exactly did she mean with "if you don't remember something, it never happened"? Did she realise that the rumors about her having an affair never started? I'm a bit baffled about it.

>>2829471
>To what was Alice referring here when she said she gets it?
She got the idea that she said right after ie :
>What exactly did she mean with "if you don't remember something, it never happened"?
She meant exactly that.
>Did she realise that the rumors about her having an affair never started?
The rumors even exist anymore and she has no idea they did before or that the world was reset.

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>>2829480
I see, but why would she say that, it seems just a bit random for her to just say it all of the sudden.

>>2829484
>I see, but why would she say that, it seems just a bit random for her to just say it all of the sudden.
It seems those who really loved Lain like Alice and Yasuo seem to remember her but not quite.
I guess she feels as though she's not remembering something and it makes her think that thought.

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>>2829489
Thanks!

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>>2829471
As the other anon stated I think it was just that Alice had remembered that statement from whenever Lain stopped the rumors from happening. Lain no longer exists and so that vague memory comes to mind as she's struggling to remember something. Similar to whenever Lain changed time before. It shows Alice still somewhat remembers Lain because she was one of the few people who interacted with her directly. There's a similar scene with Taro when he sees her on his phone. They know they miss someone but they don't know who. That's probably the part of the series that makes me them most upset.

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>>2829511
Thanks.
>That's probably the part of the series that makes me them most upset.
Why? In what way?

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>>2829589
To see people who's lives were effected so much by the efforts someone yet they're not even able to remember them is troubling to me. Especially when that person is Lain. Also the idea of a nagging sense of great loss yet not being able to pinpoint what it is. It's overall just very sad to me, it's like these people all lost their purpose in life.

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>>2829605
I agree on that point, it really is sad.

>>2828248
I dunno about advice, but I can share my story. I came out of depression at the end of college out of spite. Before that I was in a routine of wake up, go to class, come home and watch anime and browse chans and such. No personal hygiene. I did the bare minimum of anything and hadn't had held a conversation of more than a few minutes with anyone but family for months and those were mostly them telling me how much of a fuck up I was. What tipped me off that I was depressed is that I had no emotional response to that at all. I just kind of accepted it.


I got better slowly and after thinking about suicide. I started to treat living as a game and thought that the rest of the world was fucking with me and waiting for me to fail. Something inside me didn't like that thought so I started to break the routine and dull spiral just to fucking show them. Waste of family money? Fuck you, took on my own college payments on a loan (and paid that fucker back and my family quicker than I thought). Worthless? Fuck you, got a job doing server virtualization and am making twice what other people in my major do (was biology but have always loved computers, just thought and was told I was too stupid). Paid for a new car too. Awkward fuck who can't speak to others? Fuck you, got a GF and moved into a new place with her.

I know my way of dealing with this may not be the most sane or healthy, but it got me out of looking at the ceiling fan and wondering things like the following:
>can that hold my weight?
>how long will it take for them to find me?
>will I fuck it up and struggle for a long time?
>how do I face people if I fail? they'll put me away in a nut house gladly


You'll get though this, I believe in you. Some part of you does only live here, but that's true for all of us. It's why some of us are still here after over a decade, laughing, arguing and just talking with absolute strangers and the most fucked up yet beautiful and human people I've known.

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>>2829982
Oh, and I forgot to include a lain, so here you go.

>>2828309
It looks like you have a better relationship with your mom than I did with mine, if you still care for her enough to live. Hold on to something beautiful like that. I envy it and hope it helps you.

As for hobbies and stuff to pass the time, it can come naturally out of curiosity by just being exposed to things. I got into computers as a coping mechanism after visiting /g/ and wondering what the hell linux was and why they cared. Would stay up night after night following guides and trying things, building home servers and starting programming for the mental exercise. A career (hopefully, still in the first year) came of it.


>>2828505
I escaped from the world for a long time and the internet was my vehicle. I still come here at night when I feel lonely, even now that my life is much better, because I know you all get it. I usually watch anime with strong ecchi tones, but unlike those I make it a point to remember Lain and the feeling of connection I got when watching.

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I've been lurking in these threads for months. Just feel like saying thanks for all the cool Lain pics. :-)

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made a webm with MPVplayer

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>>2830319
Nice!

>>2830389
Thank you!

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Would you describe yourself as a Lainist?

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>>2831689
Yes. Behead those who insult Lain!

>>2828499
I'm a 27-year-old NEET with no gf but I'm not even depressed. My secret is that I work out every day.

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how to make the same effect as this pic?

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>>2832000
You could attribute all the depression with Lain-minded people caused by the lack of sunlight (Vitamin D) from staying indoors. Oh how uncomfortably bright outside is, even in the animation.

Depression is a human attribute. Being depressed is a sign you are still human, neither a God or a machine.

and so is the act of Loving.

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>>2832059
>Lain-minded people

I like that expression.

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>>2832059
I thought I was the only one to find outside too birght. Sometimes I have to look the gorund while I walk or else I can't open my eyes and I cry.
Everyone else seems okay with the brightness though.

And I don't even have to look at reverbering surfaces, only clear ones, and sometimes even dark ones make me blind.

Here is me drawing Lain last year, it just happened to be on the default upload folder.

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>>2832007
Maybe not exactly what you're looking for, but check this video it might help.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=odZZe3Oh1o0


What do you lain anons think about after life? What do you think happens when you die?

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>>2832287
Probably just nothingness. I hope so at least. I'd really like it if there was a "wired" to watch over the world and consume information from. I think I could do that forever and be ok. I just want to haunt people on the internet after I die.

>>2832287
Nothing happens after you die (very probably). You become dirt eventually. No more signals firing in your brain, no more you existing.

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>>2832059
I took prescription vitamin d supplements for some odd years, it doesn't help. Depression is a normal and expected reaction to realizing that we're all going to die very soon (relatively speaking) and that nothing we do matters.

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>>2832287
I don't think anything happens after you die.

But I find that kind of liberating.

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>>2832364
>>2832376
>>2832396
I hope you're right, but at the same time I in a way hope you're wrong...

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>>2832399
Saying "nothing happens" when you die seems a bit odd doesn't it.

Nothing happening sort of implies things stay the same, perhaps "Nothingness" happens is more fitting.

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>>2832399
I only hope I'm wrong if Lain is in whatever afterlife there is.

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>>2832384
Well there are many other variables to always consider including circadian rhythm and REM sleep, supplementation isn't a single cure for anything. Interestingly, how much IU did your doctor prescribe you daily?

You have yet to accept death and achieve a higher state of light. Nihilism is the first step, selflessness is the next.

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>>2832706
Still nothingness seems so I don't know, I can't even wrap my mind around. It's a scary thought, but at the same time it really is kind of liberating, eternal peace doesen't seem like a bad thing at all.

>>2832707
I'm sure she is there if it exists. I wouldn't mind meeting her either.

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>>2832719
I don't remember, this was at least 10 years ago. I played the "antidepressant roulette" for many years before giving up on being normal or relaxed or content and just settling for "at least I don't feel like dying ALL the time".

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OC

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>>2833125
Ooo awesome!

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>>2833125
Well done! Planning on doing more?

I've said this before but I'll bother you guys again.
If any of you know how to implement a neural network that recognizes when Lain is in a picture and scrapes the web (or just 4chan for starters) and DL all the Lain pics that'd be nice.
Plus there is some fun stuff to do with how the net represents Lain to itself.
And where does Lain appear on the web. We could try and "quantify" her presence.
We might be missing so much of her not knowing where she appears.

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>>2833574
I always like to think that DDOS attacks are because Lain is manipulating the wired

>>2833577
I think it's just teenaged retarded skiddies. But I like your explanation better.

>>2833574
Technology isn't at that level yet. We can recognize human faces because they have consistent, unchanging bone structure but drawings are another world entirely.

>>2833639
Get on it ad make it happen then. Lain's not going to wait for the big guys at deepmind to innovate.

>>2833674
Compulsive image saving is a bad habit, I wouldn't recommend it.

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Lain Art anon are you drawing those yourself? A lot of them are really good.

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>>2834566
I wish, I can't draw at all.
Just collected these from the wired.

Why are there no fan made translations of visual and scenario experiments lain ? I'd love it if there were !

I want a Lain Dating Sim/VN

I want Lain

>>2834600
I've thought about doing it myself but never got around to it.

>>2829471
>affair
Actually, there never was an affair. Alice merely had a crush on him. In that scene where "lain" witnesses her, she was thinking about the teacher while schlicking. Fans often misinterpret it.

>>2834798
the rumors were about an affair though. He didn't misunderstand.
>>2834781
Please do it lainon, I would love you very much. The interviews in visual experiments lain seem so interesting.

>>2834813
>the rumors were about an affair though

No, they weren't. The rumors were that Alice has a crush on the teacher and thinks about him while schlicking.

>>2834817
"But rumor has it that he's seeing an 8th grader"
episode 11 near the end after Lain made everyone forget but alice. I thought it was that. I also think I remember other moments where it's basically about that.

>>2834817
Forgot what I said here >>2834822 just watched episode 8 where evil lain says the rumors she spread and it's as you say. Thanks for the correction.

>>2834822
It's funny that you bring that up. Funimation mistranslated that line. What Reika said is 三年の子 which means third-year or ninth grader.

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Hey Duplex (or anyone else) you kindly linked me a manga about Lain in the last thread, but being the retard that I am I lost the link and the last thread is dead. Can you please link it again, I rewatch the series and thanks to your help, I understand it infinitely better now and I really want to read that manga. I'm sorry for asking, I really shouldn't lost the link.

>>2834955
http://mangafox.me/manga/the_nightmare_of_fabrication/v01/c000/3.html

But I remember the site he linked with the scissors it was much better quality.
There's the pdf of the game to read too and the video of all the cutscenes of the game on youtube.

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>>2834963
Thanks anon!

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>>2834955
>>2834963
>>2834965
Yeah this is my link. The highest quality I've found it at. I'm glad my answers helped you understand it better. I know it can be pretty intimidating.

>>2835280
how did I somehow forget to paste the link, ugh
https://mebious.neocities.org/Layer/Nightmare.html

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>>2835280
>>2835281
Thanks

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>>2835887
I tried combining it with this gif and making it animated, but I'm not as skilled with computers as Lain :/

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Lain a cute

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>>2835887
owner 'faux' is only one who can access
what is in there? it's

Mystery

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Let's all be like Lain

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>>2837179
I hate that one

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>>2837489
me too

>>2837179
delet this ;_;

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>>2837731
What's wrong with her eye :(

>>2837743
lain looks sad

>>2838488
New thread