Sell me this pen.

buy this two dollar pen or ill murder your family

>>981310
>Be grorious nippon girl
>Put pensu in vaginu
>cam
>serr pensu for yen
>baka desu senpai

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>>981310
You have never won a fucking Oscar. Sign this paper and you'll get you one next time.

Yeah, thought so.... bitch.

>>981310
But it's your pen already.....

>>981310

I am going to kill your family whether you buy this pen or not

>>981310
That is the pen I intend to sign my contract with.

I want 300k starting, and in return, my expertise will bring returns worth 1M to your business.

In short, a 300k investment in what this pen that is worth two dollars has to offer will bring you 700k in profit over the course of this coming year. But only from this seller.

Or you could go to another retailer and buy this pen for two dollars and save yourself 300k right now. But it will cost you up to 700k.

The choice is yours.

>>981310
This pen right here is 1 of 500 rare Alaskan made beauties. Its materials are made up of 15 rare and extinct minerals. If you were to buy this pen from lets say ebay, you'd probably pay $100. But I like you, so im willing to give you this piece of rare excellence for just $60.
Just $60 and its all yours. I wouldn't even use this if I were you. I'd frame it and put it up on a wall somewhere. Your friends will be fascinated by it.

>>981310

I'd take the pen and put it in my pocket and act oblivious when you ask about your pen. Stall the show a bit, then eventually say "ok, you want to keep doing your show? 5 bucks and you can have your fucking pen back"

>>982708
creative and cynical, you'd have to be one cool customer to pull it off

>>981310
I'll take $10 for this pen. You should write me a counter-offer.

>>981381
anyone think this is actually really good?

>>982780

no

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>>981310
what if i engrave it

>>981310
2 words:
Superhuman memory.

>>981310
Only people with big dicks have pens like these. Would you like to buy one?

>>981310
I dropped a few gay pills in your drink before you went on stage. This pen is the only thing that will make you ungay.

>>981310

Why don't you write down you're number for me?

I'll take you out to a nice dinner, then back to my place where I'll treat you like the slut you are.

>>981310
I'm not a part of your bourgeois capitalist money making scam. This pen is a scam! What value does it offer the worker or the peasant? What use is it to the revolution? In what way does this ploy of a product advance the greater cause of socialism?

Unless it unshackles the factor worker or enlightens the simple agriculturalist it is nothing more than capitalist fakery. The means of production belong to the prolateriate. Vive la revolucion!

Do you understand what this pen means? To you, it means nothing; it's simply just a writing utensil. It means that to you because you are at the bottom of totem pole. You see to a CEO this pen is power, it's money; it represents that he is above everyone around him. He doesn't get complacent because he knows that the power isn't his, it's the pen's. So he keeps this pen close to his heart. Well, he did before I blew his brains over his desk. Do you know what this pen means now? It signifies that no matter how much power you hold, anyone can take it away from you. I could give you this pen, you could take this pen, or you could buy this pen. Remember this pen is power. Will you buy your power, take it, or earn it? Power is power, and you have the opportunity to have said power right now. So what do you say, hmm? Are you going to sit at your desk and hope for the power to be great or are you going to take what you can and make it great? This pen could be yours, all you have to do is buy it.

>>982780
No

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>>981310
Honestly pens are just a fad, I see no real reason why a pen can replace a pencil.

You'd like me to sell this pen? Ok how about 5 dollars? Cool. Happy to make business with you.

I'll let you take my daughter's virginity if you buy the pen.

Write your name for me. What? Don't have a pen? Buy this one.

dubs ,u buy pen

>>984245
For a second, I was genuinely convinced this was a Bernie Sanders quote upon skimming it.

>>982780
Its classic Carnegie, my friend :^)

>>982780
No

>>981310
This is a spring assist high ink volume pen. The government is going to ban this dangerous pen tomorrow! Buy this pen now for the low price of $(your soul here).

Remember they are going to ban this pen. Get one now before it's too late.

>>981310
You can just have it if you want it

this is a really nice pen, you know. feels heavy, fits nice in the hand glides across the paper making bold lines and sharp corners plus its refillable. you could be known for because of this pen. why not make a name for yourself instead of someone writing it down for you?

Why the fuck does anyone reply to any of these fucking meme threads anymore? Is it because you all want to be this jackass and end up getting cornholed in jail?

>>981310

the pen doubles as a dildo so you can fuck your asshole over your lunch break

Buy the pen or i kill myself

>>981310
hello would you like an pen please the crows are after me

>>981329
this desu

>>982780
ur joking, right?

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>>981310
Did a intelligent, admirable rensponse has ever
appeared in these threads?

I'm from /co/, so I have no ideia.

Off of leddit:
Don't sell the pen. Sell the solution to a need.
Qualify them: "How long have you been looking for a pen?"
Establish / Implant need: "Do you use a pen for every day tasks, or only for business occasions?" "So, since you don't own a pen, what do you do now if you need a pen?" "Do you find you use other pens often?"
Find out their specific needs: "Do you prefer black, blue, or red ink?" "Do you prefer a wide or fin tip?" "Ball Point or Fountain?"
Sell the solution to their problems: "You know, I think this pen will fit all your needs. It's a fancy, fine point, Black ink, fountain pen which you can use to sign all your important business documents. It'll look great in the board room but you can still use it for everyday tasks."
Establish urgency: "Fortunately, I still have a few left."
And close: "How many would you like? If you need more than I have on hand I'll get you started with a few and put in an order for the rest and have them to you asap."

>>984267
>clapping

>>982646
QVC-tier.

>whips out check
>pay to the order of (blank)
>value $1000 [One-Thousand Dollars]
>from yours truly
>memo: buy the pen if you want to cash the check :^)

>>985844
>Qualify them: "How long have you been looking for a pen?"
in about 5 minutes when thge waiter comes back with the check.
>Establish / Implant need: "Do you use a pen for every day tasks, or only for business occasions?" "So, since you don't own a pen, what do you do now if you need a pen?" "Do you find you use other pens often?"
hm. I don't really know.
>Find out their specific needs: "Do you prefer black, blue, or red ink?" "Do you prefer a wide or fin tip?" "Ball Point or Fountain?"
I don't really care.
>Sell the solution to their problems: "You know, I think this pen will fit all your needs. It's a fancy, fine point, Black ink, fountain pen which you can use to sign all your important business documents. It'll look great in the board room but you can still use it for everyday tasks."
>Establish urgency: "Fortunately, I still have a few left."
great, may I see one?
>And close: "How many would you like? If you need more than I have on hand I'll get you started with a few and put in an order for the rest and have them to you asap."
thanks, I've satisfied all of my pen-needs for the moment.

>>981310

Take that pen and shove it up you ass!

>>985844
>"How long have you been looking for a pen?"
I haven't been looking for one, I have a bunch back at my office.

>"Do you use a pen for every day tasks, or only for business occasions?"
I use a pen when I need to write something down, what the fuck do you think retard?

>"So, since you don't own a pen, what do you do now if you need a pen?"
I said I already own a pen, everyone has pens how else would they write?

>"Do you find you use other pens often?"
Yes when I need to write something down.

>"Do you prefer black, blue, or red ink?"
Doesn't really matter, im not a poofter cunt m8.

>"Do you prefer a wide or fin tip?"
What's the difference?

>"Ball Point or Fountain?"
I don't know what this means, I just use a pen to write things down.

>"You know, I think this pen will fit all your needs. It's a fancy, fine point, Black ink, fountain pen which you can use to sign all your important business documents. It'll look great in the board room but you can still use it for everyday tasks."
I don't care about looking good, i just need something to things down and i can buy a whole pack of them for a few bucks at walmart.

>"Fortunately, I still have a few left."
Wow what a scarce product, how long does it usually take you to refill your pen supply? It must be hard work.

>"How many would you like? If you need more than I have on hand I'll get you started with a few and put in an order for the rest and have them to you asap."

I got some at the office fuck off faggot.

>>985966
>Samefag

>>981310

How many times a day have you had a great idea, but forgotten it later? Think about it. I'll tell you the answer - you don't know. You don't know because you forgot about it. You've forgotten a countless number of business ideas, solutions to problems, how-to knowledge, and jokes. At least one of those ideas could've changed your life. Don't forget anymore - write it down.

>>986214
Thanks bro. I'll go grab a pen from the office supplies. You have inspired me.

>>986054
not even