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>26 >neet >never had a job before How would you get

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>26
>neet
>never had a job before
How would you get a job as me? I'm applying but getting no interviews here. I'll take pretty much anything at this point. I don't want to end up like pic related.
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>>979957

Do what everyone else does and lie on your resume FFS.
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>>979957
jobcore
temp work
construction lie for constructin
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>>979957
Commission sales
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i was in same place as you and i got a job after half year of looking
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>>979957
start sucking dicks?
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Do some volunteer work. Get references.
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What the hell have you done since high school?
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>>979957
suck dicks bro
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>>980552
Vidya and anime, typical NEET stuff. Also attended community college for a short while but dropped out.
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>>980653
Why choose to be a NEET for so many years? Sounds boring.
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>>980653
>Vidya and anime, typical NEET stuff. Also attended community college for a short while but dropped out.

What kind of cukkold parents did you have that wouldn't kick you out?

Shit if my son was refusing to do anything for over 5 years I'd completely disown him.
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>>980673
>>980675
I apply to jobs every once in awhile but it's easy to get stuck in a cycle of NEETdom if there is no huge motivating force to push you out of it.

Anyway, I've applied to a few retail jobs recently. Does anyone know how to successfully lie for construction a la >>979968 >>979970? Honestly I'd probably rather be doing that than working retail / fast food.
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>>980695
>I apply to jobs every once in awhile but it's easy to get stuck in a cycle of NEETdom if there is no huge motivating force to push you out of it.

I get that man but 8 years after you graduated highschool? Seriously?

That's an unfathomable level of laziness and lack of self awareness.
You never stopped and said "Ok all the people i went to highschool with are all done college now and several years into working their jobs now yet im still at home playing videogames. I need to fix this!"?
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>>980699
I don't think this discussion is helpful. That said, I see alot of people on fb who don't seem to have made much of themselves.
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>>980701
Where do you live where you've been applying for 8 years and couldn't find a job?

Or did you just lazily apply to 1 or 2 places every few months?

What do your parents say when they see a grown ass man sitting at home watching anime and playing videogames with no plan on going to college, working, etc? Do they even care?
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>>980703
>Or did you just lazily apply to 1 or 2 places every few months?
Precisely this.
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>>980703
>What do your parents say when they see a grown ass man sitting at home watching anime and playing videogames with no plan on going to college, working, etc? Do they even care?

>implying caring sane parents would have allowed this neet bullshit to start.

Degenerates keep popping out more degenerates.
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>>980532
This.
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>>979957

learn how to cook and get an ez job working at any resteraunt. i have trained countless apes neanderthals and retarded spics to cook and they all get paid. ez to find a job cause theres always 10 restaurants in every town and they are always hiring just walk into any kitchen throw some shit in a pan and say bitch pay me or idk go pro in dota 2 lul fuck should i know
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>>979968
What are some good lies to put on my resume. Harvard business school?
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You're a beer, you don't have to have any marketable skills, you just need to lie on your resume to make it appear that you've consistently held a job since you got out of school. Create a fake work history with no gaps between jobs. Choose realistic wagea for those jobs.

Tell them.something like "I was a shift manager at McDonalds for the last 18 months. I was hired at 9.75 and was making 10.50 when I left, I left becauae it was a night shift job and the hours didn't suit me.".


If you're worried about them checking your work history, use fake companies and create gmail accounts, then use those accounts to create Google voice numbers. Get your mom to make a voicemail message like " you've reached bills computer repair, our office hours are blah blah, leave a message"

Copy your fake work history, you may need it in the future if you're promoted or whatever.

I'm a high school drop out who spent all of his 20s being a piece of shit who never stayed at a job more than a year, now I make 42k annually in retail management. Not worth bragging about, but even that seemed impossible when I was a 25yo uneducated neet. Lies solve everything.
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start padding out your resume with bullshit. employers dont check unless your going into some prestigious position.

go bartend or do construction. get a retail job or do sales. alternatively check out fedex/ups. they are almost always hiring warehouse workers and pay well. pretty boring work though
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>>979957
The wage, work, benefits, and schedule suck all absolute dick, but you will need to start working retail and fast food.

I honestly think that some of these jobs are so incredibly desperate to hire people,that the gap won't matter to them.

If you want to lie on your resume, it can be risky.

I don't know about retail and fast food, but in my current job I got calls randomly asking to provide pay stubs, a contract, anything to prove my employment at my previous locations.

I think of all the mcjobs, if you want the most flexibility you can try working at a call center.

The people that I know that worked in call centers had, at least, a decision of when to come in and do their work. At retail and fast food, you can get a call ANY time (most times on every sick day) because you are working with a lot of teens, some without cars, and they can't get to work because they want to get drunk on the weekend and are too hungover so they call in.
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>>979957
>26
>no work exp
What the fuck have you been doing for 8 fucking years? Please don't say you're a virgin too
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>>981537
>some of these jobs are so incredibly desperate to hire people,that the gap won't matter to them.

Depends on your location. I did 2 years in the food industry then 3 years in part time IT, got my degree in CS, had a passable resume at the time, and got declined by 3 walmarts and 5 fast food chains. MA is filled to fuck with desperate people working second jobs to prosper (as cost of living takes away their salary).

I later got a job in a help desk for 40k, ditched 2 years later for a 60% raise in systems engineering.
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>>981609
imo only white trash peopke have some kind of a resume at that age. most people have been in school.
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>>981674
Wouldn't your educational experience serve as part of a resume?
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>>981674
OP doesn't have any education so..
And also, every normal educated person has done several internships and summer jobs at that age.
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>>980796
>Degenerates
/pol/ pls leave
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>>979957
Do some kind of voluntary work. Try to make sure it involves working in a team, independently, and also uses a computer. You can now legitimately put "team-player, work well collaboratively and independently, experience of administrative and data entry tasks, skills include knowledge of Microsoft Office software" on your resume.

Then get a job, any job. Groundskeeper. Hospital porter. Dish washer. Whatever. You now have verified work history and can call upon at least two former employers for references (the voluntary and paid roles).

Keep applying man. You'll get something. In the meantime monetise your hobbies. Draw hentai commissions, do online surveys, whatever. You have to feel busy and productive to become busy and productive.
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>>980701
>I don't think this discussion is helpful

You don't think a reality check is helpful?
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>>979957
I had the idea that you can use a chain that closed down as work experience, can account for blank years but you just say you can't get a reference or get someone to say they used to be your manager.
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>>980701
>others did it tooo!111!!

Why are you on /biz/? You belong to one of those shitty boards on this forum about Cambodian fly fishing that only cares about which waifu you'd print on a pillow and live with for the rest of your life.
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>>980653
Did you watch Welcome to the NHK?
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>>980695
>How to get into construction

The construction job I had sort of went this way:

Show up at site and ask for the head guy/foreman. Hand your resume and let them know you're interested in the trades but would like some field experience in order to help your decision. If they need extra hands or like your enthusiasm during your chat, they'll tell you what you need to buy and when to show up. Don't be fucking late. Have fun hauling lumber 8 hours a day.

If they're not interested, try the next company. Labourer is generally pretty high turnover because people either go into a trade and off to school, or they get tired of lifting shit all day and quit.
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>>979957
Also, don't need to lie on your resume. Get a couple personal references and tell the interviewer you had some personal reasons/family issues that needed your full attention, but now you need to pick up the pieces and get on with life. There's lots of people with not much work experience ranging from sick people, to divorced housewives, to yes, neets who now have to fend for themselves. They can all get jobs.

No one is gonna care if you worked at McD's or not 6 years ago. Especially in the positions that you'll be applying for, the managers are pretty much just looking for a body that is going to show up on time every shift and not be a complete fuck up who quits in 2 weeks or steals shit.
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>>980653
same fampai
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>>982510
OP do not take this advice.
In the real world, you are competing with other workers, who do not have unnecessary backstory problems and no questionable work ethic.
You haven't worked for 6 years, means you need to put the work into your resume. If the job is laboring related, you say you worked part-time for 2 years (or more) for a local gardener, put a family member/friend down as a reference for that and have them lie.
EVERYONE UNDER THE AGE OF 30 IS LYING ON THEIR RESUME

You are trying to sell yourself, people aren't buying your problems.
If you resume is shit, then lie, the company you want to work for is probably lying about their products to customers.

Welcome to the real world OP
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>>982665
>you say you worked part-time for 2 years (or more) for a local gardener, put a family member/friend down as a reference for that and have them lie.
>EVERYONE UNDER THE AGE OF 30 IS LYING ON THEIR RESUME

Lmao and what if they ask OP what the "local gardener" 's name was? Or what the company was called? Sketch as fuck tbqh. Imagine him stuttering trying to answer thinking "FUCK /biz/ never mentioned this part!".
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>>982668
lol well that was an example, surely he has a family member that works, who can give him a reference.
But there is no way he is a serious candidate with a resume that says:
Past experience: Birth
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>>982669
Yeah op kind of really fucked himself there... It's amazing to think someone can get to that age with no experience at all. And someone obviously had to enable his behavior!

I mean if he at least did something in those years... Any skill at all and it would probably be acceptable in the employers eye for any low position.
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>>982452
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>>979957
Seasonal help at a fulfillment center for an online retailer. They need thousands of people and will hire anyone. It's literally packing/unpacking boxes all day. They could train monkeys to do it. I'm pretty sure a lot of my coworkers are ex cons or sell drugs after work. That's how I got my first job. This year they keep offering more money for perfect attendance and signing up for extra hours because they need people so badly. It's insane.
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