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After one wild night of shilling buttcoins, asking how to get

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After one wild night of shilling buttcoins, asking how to get into JP Morgan, and general shitposting on /biz/, you go get a glass of water.
When you turn on the faucet, a Djinn comes out, and he allows you to pick one of the following wishes:

I-) You can reduce your lifespan by any number of years, and for each one that you lose, he will give you the equivalent of $60K in any currency that you chose. You won't grow older because of that transaction, just naturally dying sooner, however, he won't reveal how long you have left.

II-) He will flip a coin. If it is heads, you will gain $2000000 in cash, if it is tails, you will die twenty years sooner. The flip is absolutely random and, because of cosmic laws, the Djinn can't cheat.

III-) He will clean your house, fix broken stuff lying around and give you €20000 in small bills.

Which one do you chose and what do you do with your potential gains?
>>
Sheeeiit

It's be happy with just having him clean the house
>>
>>974857
Easy. Number 1. I would take 30 years off of my life (assuming I have 30 left) and take the last few years of my life investing it so my kids never have to worry about money.
>>
>>974857
The first one.

I don't give a fuck about dying 10 years earlier, it's boring as fuck anyway when you're like 60+.
>>
What the Fuck is the downside to number 3??
>>
>>974878
Opportunity cost.
>>
>>974857
cleanie my house mr genie
>>
>>974857
3
>>
>>974857
2 cuz fuck it
>>
>>974878
He throws away your cum bottles and poop jugs.
>>
>pick 3
>it turns out you were going to get cancer and die within 2 or 3 years or whatever amount you choose
3 is baby bullshit
2 is the correct answer
>>
>>974857
pick wish 1

say i'd like negative infinity dollars, or take off negative infinity years.

life forever
no money
but sweet sweet life everlasting
>>
>>975035
The Djinn smiles with vile joy at your attempt to be clever.

" Your wish is my command, master."

He then proceeds to take possession of everything that you own - including your body and soul.
Engulfed by magical energy, you can feel yourself being transformed as the Djinn moves you to another dimension. Upon arrival, you are already at the form that you will spend an eternity as: an everlasting human toilet.
During the first millenium of a diet of shit and piss, you contemplate why you tried to cheat forces that you can never hope to comprehend...
>>
>>974878
>>974891
Also, you will always wonder...
>>
>>974857
Number 3, the first two are literally for retards.
>>
>>975574
And I'd use the money three ways:
Invest 50%, save 45%, spend 5%

Then while the majority of my money is in businesses and growing, the amount I saved will be accumulating interest, and I then just enjoy that initial $1000 until dividends start paying back.
>>
>>974857
Obviously 3). I mean I get it - its trading time for money either way, but Id rather be a dumb pleb about it.
>>
>>975035
kek, cosmic Jinns suffer from integer overflows too.
>>
Option A, give up 10 years.

I can easily retire 25 years earlier with 600.000k and capital gains, worth it.
>>
>>974857

TWO! (2)

>If heads, I invest a million in something awesome, half a million in something practical and a quarter million in something clever, keeping the rest in petty cash; if tails, I don't really give a fuck, because then I'd just die poor sooner.
>>
III for sure.

20k so I can start investing in shit.
>>
>>975683
Why retire ?
>>
>>974857

> he allows you to pick
Not forced to pick. As such, I'd remove the haunted faucet, fix it myself (/diy/ here, don't need no fucking middle eastern faggot doing my household chores) and sell it to some /x/ idiot willing to take ridiculous gambles.

Then I'd drink my glass of water, stop shitposting on /biz/ forever, and work hard so I can retire early and enjoy my full life.
>>
>>974857

Ask the Djinn if he wants to do something else, because I'm not interested in any of the choices.
>>
flip a coin
heads: I and 5 years
tails: III
>>
>>976346
The Djinn smirks at you and pauses for a moment before replying with a deep voice:

"No."

He then disappears, leaving you with nothing.
>>
Ok, OP here, meaning of answers:

I-) You are destined to be a wagekek for life. Enjoy =î)
II-) You understand how the current world works, and with some luck, might make it.
III-) You are a coward and a faggot. Probably a drug addict, as well.
Thread posts: 27
Thread images: 1


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