I've somehow found myself with free and unfettered access

Turn yourself into a part human part fly.

I was running an ecstasy pill assay business on the side when I was in the lab.

steal lab equipment

>>973515

Have considered drugs but I feel that not only is it risky but it also wouldn't net me much profit, and there's way too much competition - I'm in a major capital city so drug production tends to be on a massive scale.

>>973506
Make some art.

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>>973533

Great idea thanks

>>973506
>biotechnology
Pretty sure you are an idiot, m8

>>973550

Please do not bully

>>973506
>advertise yourself as a naughty little crossdressing lab assistant slut with a tight little buttpussy
>bring the clients into the lab for maximum role playing
>let clientele fuck your mouth and anus
>easy money

>>973603

I don't have a tight little buttpussy though. I've got an ass of steel.

Regardless if I wanted to whore myself out I'd do that at home.

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>>973649
>implying people don't lie in advertising all the time

quit making excuses and start renting your anus out like a good little butt slut.

offer cheap dna sequencing for people

>>973506
Are you in Oregon?
And I'm helping you learn the R language... Or we are supposed to be working on that.

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>>973674

why do you want me to be lewd so badly

>>973689

Nah, not me, sorry.

>>973693
Well that's good. Because that means I can make two practical connections. Would it be alright for you to email me?
Are you the "get rich quick" type?

>>973699

No offense, but I don't like the idea of connecting up with someone on /biz/. Plus, I'm not in the US so I suspect we wouldn't be much help together.

>>973709
Fair enough. I'm just scratching at what I can.

Maybe we should both take that perspective seriously. This place is mainly just for hopeless moping

>>973728

Yeah, always good to ask man, just not sure it'd help in this case. But yeah. Trying to do something to get out of the 'hopeless moping' rut is mostly about taking opportunities head on, as far as I can tell.

>>973506
Make some chemicals for big bearded guys in the middle east. Anti-depressants preferably.

OP is a complete retard

>>973506

Don't you have something you want to research?

When I was in your situation, I used the lab to create a rose callus, inserted luciferase with a cheap little gene-gun we put together.

I was in the process of regenerating the modified tissue into plants when the prof discovered what i was doing and destroyed all my cultures.

I was hoping to publish a standard protocol for modifying and regenerating roses and then using that to get my foot in the door at a proper AgSci lab somewhere.

>>974328
Why did the Prof stop you?

>>974267

please explain

>>973506

Do you have connections to bioinformaticians so you can actually sequence shit that works?

>>973521
He means testing drugs dipshit.

What degrees-for-cash place did you waste money on that didn't tell you what an assay was?

>>975268
>>973506

because I could really use a two state microbe.

A) multiplication,
B) triggered production, takes co2 + light (or even better, heat, or even better than that, a current) out of its subsstrate and shits it back out as some sugar. in this stage it shouldn't multiply, but maintain the population/structure

It also needs to never get smaller than a specified size so it can still be filtered. Better: if it arranges itself in a lattice sort of structure.

can you do this? it would probably take several months of computing...

>>973506
extract ricin and sell it to right wing groups

You should try to clone hitler

>>974267

This

>>973689
>tfw I'm in Oregon and I'm starting to learn R

>>975270

i legitimately didn't see the word 'assay'

>>975268

yep

>>975271

for what purpose

make drug producing bacteria

i think a paper about this was published recently

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1. screen self and customers for nonwhite ancestry (probably can't do sanger sequencing shit though)
2. S T E A L, I mean who will notice a few microliter pipettes gone missing?
3, Clone yourself and never work again

produce chemical weapons and sell them to north korea.

Sup i am a scientist to i am a chemical analyst. I am thinking about starting a big lab producing xtc and molly.

>>973506
Do DNA testing at a cheap-ass rate

I want to know where my family came from without paying $200

>>976180
>for what purpose

CO2 scrubbing, of course.

If the filter is a sort of artificial high surface area plant then you can skip all the expensive catalysts and may even be able to construct a permanent self-contained system. If you don't have to bring a carbon scrubber scrubber to maintain your carbon scrubber then you may be able to reduce cost by a massive amount (depending on the efficiency you can achieve ofc)

application: aerospace, nautical, cleanrooms, urban carbon credits, etc.