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Organisational Existential Crisis

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How do I stop feeling guilty about not working non stop? Apart from things all humans do plus going to the gym, I feel guilty about any of my habits. And I have no goals.

I want to read books but I feel guilty about reading a set number of pages a day. I am worried about being called a pleb for not reading ten trillion boring Western canon novels. I feel like an ADD pleb for rarely reading more than 60 pages at a time. I hate that I'm more likely to put a book down at the end of a chapter.

Similarly for working. I know I could always be working to become better off. I know that people who talk about taking breaks are just lying to themselves. I feel bad for not having the willpower necessary to work non stop on one thing for 10 hours. If I work on one thing then I miss the big picture. If I work on many things I am a dilettante who doesn't achieve anything.

And the funny thing is that I'm a Stirnerite. When you stay unspooked then everyone else's belief system feels like a personal attack. Fuck these people who say that X is so important. X is always working hard / enjoying yourself / focusing on one thing / focusing on many things / reading history / classics / philosophy / other shit.

The awful thing is that I know everyone else is a fraud. That NFL player who everyone loves and says is hardworking has never read a book. That mathematics professor known as a genius is a disgusting dyel. That literary figure who goes on about Shakespeare being a god doesn't know any maths or science greater than an 18 year old yet claims to be worldly. That billionaire who goes on about humanity's big issues does nothing but write checks for people who make social media apps.
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>>1693973
>Stirnerite
i was going to give you some advice but then it turns out you're a fucking retard so i won't bother
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>>1693973

See a shrink.
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>>1693973

I know that feel anon.

If you are like me then the only thing you can do to sleep at night is to work towards your goals every single day, even if only for 30 minutes.

Especially the last part. It pisses me off so bad when fucking literature "professors" act all high and mighty about their "intelligence" when they can't even do basic algebra to save their lives.

And I say this as someone who personally prefers literature over maths...
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>>1693973

Free bump for you OP
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>>1693973

Just remember that no one gives a fuck any you or what you do
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Work is a spook
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>>1693973
>I feel bad for not having the willpower necessary to work non stop on one thing for 10 hours
>everyone else's belief system feels like a personal attack
you have a general inferiority complex and
>I know everyone else is a fraud
you're making up artificial flaws in others as an excuse.
Now of course you're right that everybody has not only strengths but also weaknesses. What you need to accept is that having shortcomings does not make you a fraud. You've also set unattainable standards for yourself. Instead, set yourself some clear goals and judge yourself based on whether you're making an honest effort towards them or not.
(it's all easier said than done I know)
Thread posts: 8
Thread images: 1


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