anon, how are you fighting your depression? do you see any progress

also, my therapy
>225mg venlafaxin
>lithium
>30mg mirtazapin
>talking to a psychologist
>doing shit i like
>sports

listen to music almost 24/7 and try always be doing something to stop long periods of time wallowing in depression.

>>745536136
amphetamine

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>>745536136
Stopped fighting a while ago. Just accepted I'm going to die a lonely old man wishing I'd died much younger. I'll never get what I desperately want because I was born defective and then had every last ounce of self confidence crushed as I grew up. I'm at the bottom of a pond of sadness and loneliness set to drown over a lifetime and my only hope is that someone grabs my hand and doesn't let go.

The thing some may find strange is my guns are one of the only reasons I have not killed myself. Dumping a 40 round mag in a few seconds is a quick rush that won't fill that void, but it helps a lot to have something that makes a day good once in a while.

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I'm not. I've been seeing shrinks for years. Been medicated and evaluated numerous times. Nothing seems to work.

Worst part is most of the time I don't even feel down or sad or whatever, just numb to everything whilst I ignore it all.

>>745536428
did the same until i saw a psychotherapist. if it gets you down too much, please seek medical attention
take care anon

>>745536642
whats the defect you were born with?
if your guns keep that feeling of making a day good, keep on doing it. its important to do stuff that you actually like

>>745536760
whats your general attitude towards psychotherapists?

>>745537230
Fine, honestly. I know that they want to help and I see no reason to lie to make their job harder.

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>>745537188
Bit of a list. The worst one for ever finding a relationship by far is the gods damned autism, the social phobias that came later don't help either. Higher function autism is basically this. People often call me a liar when I tell them I'm autistic but then I'm really good at faking normal.

>>745538466
why did your attempts with them fail though?

>>745538753
being an outcast of society is hard, true. noone is like you though, you dont have to seem super interesting or something. people think youre worth spending their tine with you without it aswell
hang in there anon

ITT underage kiddos don't understand what depression is

>>745539025
I've not been able to develop a want for anything, I suppose. I'll do what I need to survive and be fairly comfortable, but aside from that I've got no drive to do anything.

No want for a relationship, travel, fancy things, etc. I have a hard time truly enjoying anything, find it near to impossible to find joy in things and so on.

I've tried cognitive therapy and whatever else they've thrown at me, but it's not really worked I suppose.

If only I could want something enough to strive for it. I feel like it could be exciting.

Started taking prescribed anti depressants a while ago. They work, but I often forget to take them for a few days so I go through ups and downs. They seem to actually be helping

>>745539052
what about you tho? do you know how it is like?
>>745539365
i do know how you feel like. when i used to be at home i played alot of videogames to at least be distracted for the moment but i couldnt do it in the end, especially cause i played alot of competetive games.
are you playing an instrument or do you have a hobby at this point?