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ITT: We nerf each others' superpowers >Ability to conjure

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 121
Thread images: 8

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ITT: We nerf each others' superpowers
>Ability to conjure anything in my pants out of thin air
>Pic related
>>
>>739274998
its always very sharp and always next to your cock and balls.

>can turn invisible
>>
>>739275187
But only when nobody's around

>can read minds
>>
>>739275299
But only of people with schizophrenia

>Can turn anything i want into solid gold
>>
>>739275434
But only on Tuesdays between 7-8 in the morning

>can travel through time to whenever I want
>>
>>739275576
Always ems up back in the civil war
> thought manipulation
>>
>>739275576
But only by drinking a liter of bat urine

>Can fly
>>
>>739275681
But only by plucking hairs off ball sack
>>
>>739275650
Only by maintain eye contact from half and inch away
>>
>>739275681
into buildings

>make a really good pasta sauce
>>
Ability to perfectly emulate anyone else's voice
>>
>>739275752
The mob breaks your legs every week for stealing their sauce recipe
>>
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Ability to mind control crowds
>>
>>739275752
Only at funerals

>Able to cure disease
>>
>>739275777
You have to drink said persons cum
>Can duplicate objects
>>
>>739275864
You go insane in the process due to your mind pinging too many ports
>>
>>739275777
but only in german
>x-ray vision
>>
>>739275777
You have to emulate your own too.
>>
>>739275911
Only can duplicate object that are in 3 foot deep of your colon
>>
>>739275889
But you receive the disease and can't cure yourself

>dont need to sleep anymore and can't get tired from it
>>
>>739275983
Now permanently confined to a wheelchair
>Has super strength
>>
>>739275864
By becoming jewish
>>
>>739275983
You have to drink one 5 hour energy every 5 hours
>>
>>739275889
But not your own

>Can turn into a fish
>>
>>739275983
but has ED

>negromancy
>>
>>739276085
Negromancy
>>
>>739275940
Get cancer in the process
>>
>>739276085
They will always chimp out after

>can go on a one man war path like the punisher
>>
>>739276085
Wait what, negromancy?
>>
>>739276085
You have to supply them with fried chicken and koolaid
>>
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>>739276064

>>739276182
But you we feel the pain of every shot
>>
>>739276053
Does Not have invulnerability, the force will hurt your own body.
>can use the internet in my head.
>>
>>739276182
Only if the person has the downs

>Able to run at extreme speeds
>>
>>739276259
You have to tell anyone who asks what you are currently browsing

>my farts smell of lavander
>>
>>739276259
No wifi
>>
>>739276268
You can only eat chili dogs and have to collect a single ring each day at the least. You lust for more rings
>>
>>739276268
No protection, dust in the air can kill you if going too fast.
>>
>>739276328
You shit poison ivy
>>
>>739276351
i said brows the internet kek. that just removes the entire power.
>>
>>739276328
but your breath will always smell like farts

>can predict the future
>>
>>739275681
But only while jacking off.

>Can magically create anything I want
>>
>>739276328
You must shove plants up your ass every hour.

>can survive in space.
>>
>>739276259
at the speed of old 56k modem and every time you want to use the power you need to sing out loud https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p8XKhCfsTts
>Power to make perfect copy on any object
>>
>>739276427
But you can't remember the past
>>
>>739276466
As long as you can memorise the entire atomic structure of what you want to make.

>can Travel through time.
>>
>>739276083
But only on a dry land and near cats
>>
>>739276564
Only once
>>
>>739275434
>>Can turn anything i want into solid gold

hyperinflation caused by rampant abuse of this power drives down the price of gold, making it virtually worthless
>>
>>739276328
Blood comes out every time you fart
>Irresistible to women
>>
>>739276508
Must eat the object you want to recreate.

>can see everything in the universe.
>>
>>739276564
but only in 1 minute intervals

>can sense danger
>>
>>739276648
but can't focus on any one thing at once
>>
>>739276643
>>Irresistible to women

some women have dicks
>>
>>739276643
You have ED
>>
>>739276657
Can sense All danger to everything ever all at once.

>always looks good
>>
>>739276564
>>739276620
I was hoping someone would asnwer with this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gzxQgRbTesA

But only when you're asleep.

But it will turn to shit in one hour.
>>
>>739276643
But only obese women
>>
>>739276750
Anyone in a 2 mile radius goes blind
>>
>>739276124
No controll over anything you conjer up
>>
super human strength
>>
>>739276981
But you have no arms.

>Ability to shapeshift into any animal
>>
>>739276981
Only works on things under 1kg
>>
>>739276981
Paraplegic.
>>
>>739277027
Can only transform into a female in heat
>>
>>739276981
Only when tired as hell.

>I can shoot with any gun without ever it running out of ammo
>>
>>739277029
So can he be an incredibly malnourshed bear or only things that would reasonably weight a kilo?
>>
>>739277098
It will always miss
>>
I HAVE A 600 INCH PENIS
>>
>>739277096
I dont see any problems with that
>>
>>739277029
That wouldn't be so bad, just flick pennies and shit at mach 3
>>
>>739277147
Only fits 600 inch vaginas
>>
>>739277147
you're impotent
>>
>>739277147
Your ugly as fuck.

>i can grow and shrink at will, infinitely.
>>
I have a 600 inch vagina
>>
>>739277260
NICE
>>
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>>739277147
It's only that size when you rape someone.

>You can throw things at supersonic speeds
>>
>>739277260
It has teeth
>>
>>739277260
You have no other limbs or senses.
>>
>>739277256
Only one body part at a time
>>
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>>739277256
you have to star in shitty movies with Rick Moranis
>>
>>739277288
You cant.
>>
>>739277256
But once you to either shrink or grow, you're stuck with it and you must shrink into a building size or an ant.
>>
>>739277256
Shrinking will cause memory loss & growing will cause painful migraines.
>>
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>>739277256
You cannot chose your height

>Can call a drone strike upon any location with any payload below 50KT
>>
>>739277334
>>739277339

happy with that ;)
>>
>>739277288
the constant exposure to sonic booms has left you completely deaf
>>
Can expertly play any instrament I pick up
>>
>>739277378
In the name of Allah
>>
>>739277378
amnesty international and the ICC accuse you of war crimes and you are taken to the Hague and hanged
>>
>>739277442
You discover 'instrament' isn't a real thing and your chosen power is useless
>>
>>739277442
Can only play nickelback
>>
power to make people shit their pants wherever they are.
>>
>>739277493
You bastard
>>
>>739277442
you can only play polkas
>>
>>739277504
You have to be touching their anus
>>
>>739277504
but you will also shit your pants in the process
>>
>>739277504
everybody gets explosive diarrhea and shits all over you
>>
>>739277539
>>739277542
no my dudes it's psychic
>>
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>>739277475
>be New Zealander
>ICC
>first thing that pops up in my head is cricket
>>
>>739277442
Any instruments you pick up turn to gold while they are in your hands. Golden instruments look nice but have terrible acoustics
>>
gold medalist level skill in every olympic event
>>
>>739277442
Anyone who hears it goes deaf.

> time control
>>
>Complete resistance to any element.
>>
>>739277721
Special Olympics

>Can control animals with your thoughts
>>
>>739277818
You become more brain dead as you do it
>>
>>739277735
each use will cause someone you love to die
>>
>>739277818
You end up disabled and in a wheelchair. Animals are also immune if they wear a metal magneto helmet

I can walk through walls
>>
>>739277735
you age faster every time you alter time

i can do a backflip
>>
>>739278053
you have a two second timespan to travel through the wall. If you're still in the wall after two seconds the parts of your body still in the wall will fuse with it forever.
>>
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>>739278109
you always do it the wrong way, causing a front flip
>>
>>739278109
but you can't land it
>>
>>739278109
But always fuck up in front of the person you like

>Super intelligence
>>
>>739278053
You cant walk through air
>>
>>739278219
but you're completely paralyzed and unable to speak
>>
>>739278219
so intelligent you can't communicate to anyone or anything.
>>
>>739278219
You have to wear a fedora and end your sentences with m'lady

>ability to grant wishes including my own
>>
>>739275187
Only when you're alone
>>739275299
You hear thoughts in a different language
>>739275576
Can only go backwards
>>739275650
You're a nigger
>>739275681
Have to hold your breathe to stay flying
>>739275752
Your sauce is poison to you
>>739275777
But you're a nigger
>>739275864
Have to make eye contact with the entire crowd at once
>>739275889
You get that disease
>>739275911
Objects you duplicate appear in Your ass
>>739275940
You see through everything until the end of the universe
>>739276053
Only while jerking off
>>739276182
But you have an unquenchable thirst for cock
>>
>>739277761
Completely vulnerable to impact force. A feather could kill you.
>>
>>739278856
you're a nigger

> i can do whatever i want because the laws of man dont apply to me
>>
>>739279792
So fucking mad cause you cant think of anything
>>
>>739279851
well, and you're a fucking faggot
Thread posts: 121
Thread images: 8





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