ask a psychic anything

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what am i thinking of now nigger

What is in the afterlife?

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>>739157887
If you're paddling upstream in a canoe and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes fit in a doghouse?

>>739157887
Is it going to happen?

>>739157887
What is my middle name?

What is the Integral of sec^3(x)dx?

shouldnt you be awnsering without us having to ask?

what was I gonna ask you

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>>739158400

>>739157887
What is the winning numbers in eurojackpot?

what am I drinking right now?

impress me

>>739158999
semen

>>739158303
sec3xdx=12secxtanx+12ln|secx+tanx|+C

>>739157887
What's my name

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why are you poor...FUCKING RETARD...

>>739157887
Midget porn or furry porn?

Should I leave my gf for her?

>>739157937
Porn.

>>739158079
Just a bowl of cherries.

>>739158093
Purple, because boneless water tastes good.

>>739158130
Sure.

>>739158253
Michael or some shit.

>>739158400
Yes. I should.

>>739158498
A question.

>>739158980
A lot.

>>739157887
What's my name

>>739159475
John Smith.

>>739160153
Because my welfare check never came in.

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>>739157887
What's my name?

>>739160535
I'm more of a Mexican suger dancing kind of guy.

>>739160643
Oh, absolutely.

>>739160964
John Smith II

>>739157887
Very serious here m8:
Is the baby that was born to my ex girlfriend that she is claiming is mine, is it mine?

>>739161012
John Smith Sr.

>>739160977
Hey! You're not OP.

>>739161081
>asking a serious question on /b/
K E K
E
K

>>739161081
You don't have a baby, fuck off out of here.

>>739161037
Word. Thanks bro.

>>739161123
I am asking a psychic, retard.

>>739161094
How would I know? It's not like I'm psychic or anything...

So I pray to god, or some higher form of intelligent life somewhere in space, to let me rule over the people that rule over me in hell. I would also ask that there was ten trillion of me with a single connected mind. The people throughout history who have caused pain and or suffering like Hitler, Genghis Khan, Vlad the impeller, Sun Tzu, or even the devil to name a few all of these people or things combined would seem like a saint compered. There aren’t words to express my disdain for these so call people. However suffice it to say if you took all of the misery and pain throughout history and multiplied it a googolplex to the googolplex power it would not begin to come close to the retribution I’m going to impose on these fucks throughout eternity plus. All the while mind you they will be watching me enjoy all the things that they cannot have just as I have watched the rich and middle class enjoy all of the bust things on television and the internet all the inventions, best foods, and enjoyable things to do. All in all if I get my wish and or prays answered somebody somewhere that knew of my plight and could have done something to make my life better and dent will sure as hell wished they had because I have something special in mind for them. I’m not joking I am going to increase these so called people’s consciousness to the point that they will be able to experience every last couple of minutes of every death simultaneously in the back of their consciousness all the while experiencing other heinous things that they can’t even begin to contemplate and I will have super computers that take up whole dimensions that will make modern computers seem like some retard pounding on a rock and these computers only function will be founding ways to make these so called peoples existence more miserable

>>739161185
Please state your response in the form of a question.

OP here, any answer you have received except >>739161094
>>739161131
are from some LARPer fag, i was away because i was watching GOT.

Will be answering now.

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>>739157887
Oh keen psychic, i've fallen at a crossroads in life. And its all too dark to be able to see which way to go.
what is your educated advice??

>>739161247
well I get my wish?

>>739161262
Please stop trying to act like me.

>>739161262
>some larper
>some
>not giving actual name
"psychic", eh?

>>739161262
Psychic bro,

Can you tell me if the baby is mine or not? She says it is.


Also the episode was great,
ok thanks.

>>739161417
Sure, go nutty.

>>739161340
Grab that flashlight over on that shelf.

>>739161495
Yes, it absolutley, 100% is your child. Congrats. Have fun living an empty life.

>>739161595
No life is empty that is lived to fullest,
thanks, super happy now. I was sure it was mine, but who knows.

Hot damn wish I had a watermelon

>>739157887
what is the word I'm thinking of right now??

>>739161660
Please state your response in the form of a question.

>>739161683
Something sex-related.

>>739161757
whoa, holy shit, it was poop

>>739161262
what's the point of watching it when you know what's gonna happen?

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>>739161919
dude

Where's my 2 liter mtn dew?

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>>739161919

>>739162108
In my urethra. You get it yourself.

any opinion on double numbers? Or people born on double numbers?

>>739161919
E X P O S E D
X
P
O
S
E
D

>>739162220
They are gifts from the heavens above and should be treated with utmost respect.

>>739161171
My sides

>>739161340
We all die anyway, do what you will.

>>739157887

>>739157887
How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?

>>739161495
You have no child.

>>739162321
Around 39.

>>739158093
Purple

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>>739161919

how come i am only 12 btw?
also dubs

>>739162424
Already answered, Imposter McDickweasel.

>>739162461
Because you were born 12 years ago. Also get out.

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>>739162444
nice trips

>>739162511
chek'd and rekt

>>739161919
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=3kLg1K-pajg

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>>739162487
The real psychic (me) will roll trips

>739162777

give or take a few numbers, i'm Australian, my internet is shit.

>>739157887
thoughts on fidget spinners?

>>739162782
>782
It's too late, my man.

>>739162855
Like many things, they have their purpose in life, whether we choose to use them correctly is decided by you.

>>739162855
They are the absolute worst and should be banished to the void.

>>739162918
I was 5 posts off, blame my ping.

>>739162946
>>739162950
Wait, who's the real one?

>>739162985
Both.

>>739162985

this one
>>739162946

>>739162977
but you still didn't get it nonetheless. nice try.

How to kill yourself?

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>>739163088

>>739163088
Suicide

>>739157887
What's the answer to the question I want to ask you?

>>739162977
>being this desperate

Will I have Esmeralda again?

>>739163158
Only on fridays.

>>739163158
Yes.

>>739157887
What color and style of underwear am I wearing right now?

>>739163193
Not in a million years. Alternatively, if you find a way to live more than a million years, then yes. Absolutely.

>>739163226
No underwear.

>>739163199
dubs of truth

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Was she for real? Using me? Or just fucking with me? What happened psychic op?

>>739157887

Will I get together with the girl I'm interested in?

Also, what is my current main concern other than this? (and what will be the outcome?)

>>739157887
Whats my name

>>739163381
Johnny McSmithburg

>>739163337
She was not real. She was actually just a basement-dwelling pedophile.

>>739163490
Now you're getting it…

>>739163491
Only on fridays.

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>this entire thread

arent u meant to know question already?

>>739163565
It is only because you have been all so focused on ignorance or dislike that you all took the bait regardless.

>>739163686
Yes.

>>739163596
Glad to be of service, friend :)

dubs say you will live a long and prosperous life

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>>739163720
Congrats! You solved the mystery! Have some nuggers!

>>739161185
Hey didnt know this is a cringe thread

>>739163731
But you didn't get dubs, for you are yet another mere imposter.

>>739163822
>gets dubs
holy shit op
i didn't believe in psychic powers until today

>>739163786
Actually, there was less of a 'mystery' and more so watching fellow humans shove bullshit down my throat out of fear of the knowing. Too bad I now realize it was more so keeping a blindfold on to have everyone follow suit.

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Is this real?

>>739161919
/////thread

>>739163898
But i'm OP!

>>739164007
Blobo will never be a meme. Just like Milhouse.

>>739157887
How does it feel to be off by one, scriptfag?

>>739158303
2
>>739157887

anyways tell me where im from

>>739164034
>not getting dubs
only real psychics get dubs

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>>739164056
Feels bad man

>>739164068
Pretty bad.

>>739164095
NZ

>>739160911
Allah's dubs have spoken

>>739164095
A hospital.

>>739160911
oh shit
9/11 GET
man you really are psychic
how is this possible

How old am I

>>739161919
Off by one, still pretty epic looking digits

>>739164366
Take your age. Subtract five. Now add 2. Spin around to get the spirits charged up. Add 3 more. That is your age.

>>739164366
Old enough for most people

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>>739164468

>>739157887
How old am i?

>>739157887
Best ice cream Flavor ?

>>739164572
See >>>>739164468

>>739164601
TV static.

so let me get this straight. this thread was started by a baiter, wanting to seem smart, only to get hijacked by an actual psychic?

>>739164664
What does tv static taste like

>>739164845
TV static, dumbass.

>>739161185
Revenge is a fools gambit

>>739164900
dubs again?!?
can we start a religion based around you?

>>739165050
If you really want to. I'm not forcing anything.

>>739157887
do you ever experience remorse over scamming gullible, naive, morons?

>>739162782
K E K
E E
K E K

>>739165132
Nope. Not at all.

>>739165233
how
did
you
get
dubs
again
?!?!?!?!?!?!?

>>739165264
Magic.

I am afraid I can no longer answer any questions because of reasons that don't make sense when you get to the meat and bones of it. Feel free to turn this into a Spiderman thread.

>>739165454
Asked too late, my man.

>>739165510
I can't believe you took my own thread and made it yours. Well played