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Hey /b/. I need to talk about my life and how it fell apart.

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 71
Thread images: 29

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Hey /b/. I need to talk about my life and how it fell apart. More accurately, about how I made my life fall apart through a series of mistakes. It's a story about heartbreak and betrayal that my family keeps telling me I need to sell the rights to so Lifetime can make a made for TV movie about it.

In 2007, I married the girl I'd had a crush on since middle school. She was sweet, funny, liked sci-fi stuff like I did, and was prettier than any girl I could ever normally snag. There were some red flags but I ignored them. The worst was that she had a bizarre and almost hateful relationship with her mother. This would be the catalyst for a series of events that would end with me in the hospital, fighting for my life in 10 years time.
Suck a fat chode
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A side of her I hadn't seen before came out after we married. She would lie about nearly anything, behave childishly, and became very cold towards me. A couple of years in, I noticed that she was getting very friendly with a couple of my coworkers. She kept talking about one of them, a guy that worked in the warehouse of the appliance store I worked at. I got especially upset when he took my wife out for a ride on his motorcycle one night when she came to pick me up from work. She wouldn't stop talking about this guy and how cool he was and how we should become closer friends with him. Then, she mentioned that he and his wife were swingers. I could see the writing on the wall already. Angered at this, I said, "Jesus Christ, if you like this guy so much, why don't you just fuck him?" Not to my surprise, she walks out and disappears into the night.
I often wonder what would have happened if I hadn't said that to her. Would she have still cheated on me? Would she have still felt the urge to be defiant and childish and screw the guy? Sometimes, I think that it is my fault...that I pushed her into another man's arms. Knowing her, though, it wouldn't have made a bit of difference. She was always going to fuck him. And afterwards, she came home and got into bed like nothing was wrong, at about 3 am. I could smell his sweat and alcohol. I told her if she wanted to share a bed with me, she'd have to shower first. She didn't argue that point, fortunately. They had a little off again/on again fling that seemed to cause her some stress. She assured me that he didn't really mean anything to her...that she was just having some fun and that she still loved me. And of course, she reminded me that I was the one who told her to fuck him. I was an idiot, and I let her justify it so simply.

Thanks man.
kill her and bang her dead body, problem solved
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Things went too far, of course. She used her connection with both him and me to get a job at my place of employment. I thought it might work out, because she'd be around me all day and wouldn't want to misbehave. But no...she was a shitty employee. She did the bare minimum at best, and would often blow off doing her work and hide out at various places inside the store. Often, it was the warehouse. One day, the boss gets pissed off and fires her. He never gives me a reason. A couple of days later, he fires me too. Again, no reason given. We lose our apartment and have to move in with her mother, whom she hates, and her disabled brother, whom she hates. Soon after, she decides she needs to get away from the negativity, and tells me she is taking a little trip with warehouse guy. I object, but she already has her bags packed. She doesn't even give her mother an excuse as to where she is going, leaving me in the lurch and having to lie for her.
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Fast forward 6 weeks. She's had nausea for 3 days straight...can't keep anything down. I know immediately what's going on, so I go to the store and get her a pregnancy test. She pees on the stick and it comes up positive before the time is up. She begins freaking out, saying she can't do this. I told her that everything would be ok. In my heart, I was overjoyed until I realized the timing meant that there was a chance this wasn't my baby. She claims they always used protection, but she lies about everything to me. Her and I are both white and the guy she had the affair with is a very dark hispanic, so I figure we'll know the truth once the baby is born.
This is just a cuck fetish thread!

Op is fapping to your replies!


I'm interested so far
Judging by the pics, you were getting hella fat dude. Just saying...
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It's not a cuck fetish. It's what happened to me. It's my life, unfortunately. I don't like it or enjoy it or get turned on by it.

Again, super helpful, thanks.

Just in case you're wondering, the baby was mine.

Absolutely freaked out, she breaks off the affair and claims she'll never do that again. Part of me is hopeful, but another part of me is disgusted with myself for putting up with this. Our relationship didn't improve when she became pregnant, though. I tried like hell to be a loving husband, caring, holding her hair back while she had morning sickness, attending to her every need. She just seemed irrationally angry all the time. I thought it was just hormones. God, I wish it had just been hormones.
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Yeah, they're not all in chronological order, just more related to what I"m talking about at the time. I definitely gained a lot of weight, but so did she. TBH, I don't tell people this much, but I had a sympathetic pregnancy. My stomach swelled up when she was pregnant but never went back down.

It was like pregnancy broke something inside her mind. She slowly started becoming angrier and angrier at me. The more I did for her, the more I supported her, the more she fought against it and screwed shit up. She got beligerant about taking her prenatal vitamins and eventually started refusing them entirely. Her eating habits became horrendous, and she was spending all of our money eating out. When the baby was born, I thought that might fix things. She insisted on being a stay at home mother, depsite seeming distant and awkward around our child. I suggested my mother coming to help out for a while, but she wouldn't hear of it. Nor would she talk to her doctor about post-partum depression.
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I had a better job at this time that was supporting us all quite well. I worked more hours, of course. Sometimes I'd work up to 60 hours in a week. Yet everytime I came home, she was waiting at the door with our son. She'd shove him into my arms and tell me to deal with him now. He was almost always crying, wet, and often in dirty clothes and a diaper that looked like it hadn't been changed in hours. I was so burned out mentally that I couldn't put two and two together. She was neglecting our son. I eventually figured out she would put him down in his crib while he was crying and being fussy, close the door, and go put on headphones and listen to music, sometimes for hours at a time.
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When I finally realized this, I told my mother, who immediately stepped in to help take care of our son. She would watch our son while I was at work, and I eventually convinced her to go back to work. Yet another mistake on my part. She found work at an apartment complex, and for once she seemed almost happy. We even moved into those apartments, partially because her mother had begun acting so crazy that we couldn't risk being around her anymore. Things go alright for about a year, with her enjoying her job. I won't claim those were great times but we didn't fight too much, and she eventually accepted that my mother and I were more qualified to take care of our son than she was. I even convinced her to stop taking our son to the shitty doctor with the thick accent. When I found a real, intelligent doctor, he dropped some bombs on me about my son.
I honestly don't know if this is real or not, but if it is you are a fucking sad, pathetic pussy. you got exactly what was coming to you because of your own spineless, cuck personality. I hope she's the last thing you think of before you blow out your autistic brain, NIGGER.
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I had been in denial, but I had noticed our son wasn't meeting a lot of the milestones that toddlers do. He was also very small, despite being well fed. His doctor found that he was suffering neurological delays due to malnutrition. I told him that my wife had severe post-partum depression, and he seemed to buy that enough to not call CPS on us. On top of that, my son was also on the autism spectrum, although an atypical form of it. It broke my heart at the time. I told her what the doctor said and she immediately deflected it away from her. She refused to believe she'd harmed her own child. Despite that, I pressed on and did a ton of early intervention therapy, worked with Easter Seals, and took him to several specialized doctors. It helped. My son was originally non-verbal and they got him talking.

This is 100% real. This is the life I lived. Yeah, I'm a typical beta male type. I think that much is obvious.
OP, who are you and why are you using pictures of me and my wife?
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Shortly after, another bomb was dropped on us. We got a call from a hospital in a major city here in state. My wife's mother had been rushed to that hospital, 5 hours away, because she had a massive brain tumor. The brain tumor was attached to her brain stem, and the surgery was incredibly tricky. She was in a coma for 2 weeks after the surgery. When she finally came out of it, I took time off work and we drove up to go see her. She was on a ventilator, with a tube in her throat and a tube in her stomach. Her whole left side was paralyzed. My wife was terrified to even talk to her. Even though she has a passionate hatred for her mother, it was difficult seeing her like this. I talk calmly to her mother and let her know that we'll take care of all of her bills and her disabled son while she's in the hospital and that we'd figure out what to do after that. I didn't want to tell her that they had said she probably wouldn't live much longer. I think she knew, because she asked me, "Is this it? Is this the end? Am I going to die?" I wanted to be compassionate and I told her, "It's not the end if you don't want it to be. You can come back from this. It'll take hard work, but you can." She half smiled, and we left.
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That's cute, but this is me. That's her. I've blocked out the eyes, but I can tell you my son and I have brown eyes and my ex wife has blue eyes.

My wife berated me in the car for giving her mother false hope. At this point, I didn't argue back much with her. I knew that any sort of argueing would lead to a huge fight. I asked what she'd have prefered and she said, "They should have just let her die so this wouldn't be our problem anymore." A few weeks later, her extended family (aunts and uncles) shows up at her work unannounced and tells her boss that they need to talk to her and me. I'm off that day, so I'm available. They begin to talk about how the hospital is getting ready to discharge my wife's mother. They say that none of them are able to take care of her, and there isn't anyone else in the extended family who will, and the responsibility falls on us to make arrangements for her. A couple of days later, they quite literally dropped her off at our door. After seeing how bad of shape she was in and realizing the level of care necessary for her, I knew that I couldn't work AND care for her. So I quit my job to become a full time caregiver to a 62 year old woman who had just had a golf ball sized tumor removed.
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I didn't really understand how much my wife hated her mother. I thought it was just a bit of the normal tension you see between most mothers and daughters. I was very wrong. Caring for her mother proved to be well beyond my capabilities at the time. We had no financial assistance and this was in the days before Obamacare, so she didn't have insurance. So I studied as much as I could find online about her condition, feeding tubes, elderly care, rehabilitation, physical therapy, even nutritional supplements. Shockingly, I seemed to be making a difference. Within the first month, she was strong enough to lift her arms above her head and sit up on her own. By the third month, she was able to control her bowels again. Not only that, thanks to all the handicapped accessible stuff I installed in her bathroom, she could actually get up off the toilet herself and even wipe her own ass. By month five, she walked for the first time in over a year. And at month six, she was able to eat soft solid foods for the first time since her trach. We even had the feeding tube removed. Her doctor was amazed at her progress and attributed a lot of her recovery to my nutrional supplements and workout routines. There were still some mental aspects to deal with, some psychological trauma she suffered, and she couldn't make sense of things like her finances. So even though she was somewhat better, she still needed my help.
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On top of all of this, I was also caring for her son, a man several years older than me with cerebal palsy. He could do a little bit for himself, but I still had to do all the meal prep, take care of his hygiene, and keep him from hurting himself. Through all of it, I noticed my wife getting more and more irritable. Eventually, she's irrationally angry about everything. I can't do anything right. I attribute some of the beligerance to the Ambien she used to take. It made her really honest and unfiltered. One night, when my son is 3, she had taken Ambien and had a couple of drinks. She's behaving incredibly raunchy for some reason. It was uncharacteristic of her, as her sexual interest in me started declining the moment she found out she was pregnant. I ask her what has gotten in to her and she said, "He hasn't gotten it in....yet." I realize that I'm about to get my world shattered again, so I turn on the recording feature on my phone and ask the question I don't want the answer to. "Who is the he you're talking about?"
show her dick
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As it turns out, it was the maintanence manager at the apartment complex. She'd been spending time with him socially and things "just happened". My heart is broken, again. I don't know why this one surprised me, but it did. I tell her that I am not going to sit around while she cheats on me. The next day, as she's getting ready for work, I remind her about our little chat. Ambien can cause some short term memory loss. She goes pale and said, "I thought that was a dream. So...I guess we're over then." Without another word, she heads off to work. When she comes home, I ask if we're going to talk. She says, "No, I'm done talking. Here's the truth: I am not in love with you. I never have been. You were my friend and I knew you were a good guy and you'd treat me right. And I thought that would be enough, and that I'd come to fall in love with you in time. But I never did. This guy gets me. I want to be with him." Then she changes into a really slutty outfit I didn't know she had and tells me not to wait up. Then she left.

She doesn't have one. Hence her desire to acquire others.
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She wore me down. Eventually, I stopped fighting it all, just gave up and went with the flow. It was easier that way and there were less fights.

I have to admit, I ugly cried for about an hour. I even started preparing to commit suicide. As I'm sitting on the floor with a razor and almost a 3 month supply of blood pressure medicine, my son opens my door and walks in. He walks over to me and wraps his little arms around me. He says, "It's ok Daddy." And he just stays there, hugging me while I'm sitting on the floor, crying my eyes out. He doesn't leave. I try to put him to bed after an hour, but he gets out of bed (and keeps getting out of bed) to come sit on my lap. It's like he knew what I was planning and that I shouldn't be alone. And it was that moment that gave me hope for my son and what he could become.

She came home pretty late, again. I thought for sure she'd be happy as can be, but she looked sad. She slowly walked up to me and said, "I think I made a mistake." As it turns out, one the guy fucked her, he got off of her and immediately said, "Yeah, you should go work things out with your husband. This isn't gonna work for me." Apparently, this guy has a habit of getting married women to fuck him and then kicking them to the curb afterwards. I told her I didn't give a shit and that I'd been cheated on enough. I could see this crazy look in her eye. She said, "Yeah, well, it wouldn't be that hard for me to bash my head on a kitchen counter and convince the cops that you're abusive. You'd never see your son again."
how many times did you fuck?

Jesus, at this point I hope you just took your son and left
Are you gonna drop some BS bomb about how you're actually the child of this seriously cuckold bipolar relationship
so your whore ex wife has a dick collection?
So I stayed with her. I should have called her bluff, but I didn't. I knew what she had said the other night was true...she didn't love me. I tried everything I could to try to salvage things between us. I even got us set up for couple's counseling. The therapist stopped us halfway through our first session and said that there was no point in us continueing on, because clearly only one person was willing to admit fault and make an effort to fix things. She recommended that my wife have individual counseling, which she naturally refused. But staying meant I didn't lose my son. Staying also meant that I could care for her mother and brother. I took the easy road. Yet another big mistake. And man, did I pay for it.

The next few years are kind of a blur. I became more reclusive, hardly left the house. I developed hypertension and diabetes (I stress eat). Then I started experiencing pain in my face. It started one day as a dull ache. It got worse. Gradually, the pain started increasing in intensity and frequency. I thought it had to be something wrong with a cracked tooth I had. When the dentist got in there, the tooth basically broke apart, so I had him just extract it. I hoped the pain would get better, but nothing helped. This went on for 3 years.

Um...best way to explain would be to say that we had more sex in the first year of our marriage than we had collectively in the rest of our relationship.
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After a threat like that i hope your called a lawyer and broke things off
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Fast foward 3 years. It was June of 2016. I'd been married to my wife for 10 years. I'd supported her through thick and thin, nursed her mother back to health, took care of her brother, and ran the household well. I had even gotten our son into a charter school, despite his obvious setbacks. They saw the same potential in him as I did. One day, I get sick. It starts with vomitting, then diarrhea, then I am sweating uncontrollably even though I've turned the air conditioning down to 62 and have a fan pointed straight at me. By the end of the day, I am so dehydrated and weak that I can't walk. I remember being pulled out of the bathroom and saying, "Call 911. I need to go to the hospital." My wife and her mother get me into my bed (we had separate beds at the end of our marriage), put on my CPAP mask, then grab my phone and leave. I pass out. I don't really remember much, but here's the story from my mom's perspective:

My mother hadn't heard from me in 5 days and was worried. She comes over to our house looking for me. My wife doesn't want to let her in, but my Mom is a big woman and she pushes past her. She walks to my bedroom and notices the doorknob has been reveresed: the lock is on the outside now. She unlocks the door and finds me in bed, near death. She gets me to the hospital, where I babble incoherantly at the medical staff and scream that they are trying to kill me. They have to try 9 times to place an IV because my veins have basically collapsed. Doctors admit me as I pass out. For the next several days, I appear to come in and out of a light coma. When I come out, I start screaming in agony. It takes max doses of morphine to get the pain to a manageable level, at which point I'd slip back in. The doctors do a huge battery of tests and eventually just start throwing tons of antibiotics at me. I'm holding on, but just barely. I was in intensive care for weeks.
you lot can thank me later
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Eventually, they figure out that my immune system had essentially shut down and I became infected with both Typhus AND Dengue Fever. They manage to cure me, barely. I suffered some organ damage as a result. The pain in my face is still intense though. In fact, it's worse than ever.

As it turns out, I have a condition called Trigeminal Neuralgia. Most people aren't familiar with it, as the disease is rather rare, but you may have heard it referred to by its other name: The Suicide Disease. It is considered the most painful chronic medical condition, with attacks being described as more painful than child birth. The disease tends to set on slow, which is why I thought it was a problem with my tooth at first. But the combination of diseases, the strap from the CPAP pressing on several parts of the trigeminal nerve, and all the other fun parts of this seemed to cause quite a bit more damage to the nerve (as well as some others). That was the source of my pain in the hospital.
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In case you're wondering why it's called The Suicide Disease, it's because the disease is so painful and so unresponsive to treatment and even surgery that a large percentage of people with this condition will either accidentally or purposefully kill themselves to escape the pain. It's THAT bad. I'm not exagerating...the pain is nearly indescribable. It feels as if someone has shoved an electrified icepick into my face. As you might have guessed, this whole thing was the final straw. Case workers at the hospital sat down with me and discussed my options, as far as filing charges. Stupidly, I declined to do so. Even after everything, I didn't want to put the woman I loved, the mother of my child, into prison. But she wasn't safe to be around anymore. So I had my mother pick up our son. While she did that, I called my wife and asked her to come see me in the hospital (she hadn't seen me except for when I was in the ER). When she arrived, I told her it was over. I was leaving her and taking our son and if she fought me, I'd press charges against her. But if she went along with everything and gave me an uncontested divorce, I wouldn't file charges and I wouldn't ask for child support or alimony. She didn't even seem upset. If anything, she seemed relieved. I told her she could also have unlimited supervised visitation with our son.
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It's been a little over a year. I have spent the last several months heartbroken but trying to convince myself and everyone around me that I was fine. I wasn't fine, though. I can't work anymore. I'm in pain, constantly. Very little stops it. Even in the hospital, morphine seemed to do almost nothing for the pain. My son and I live with my mother. He gets SSI (not even 500 a month) and we get food stamps. So while I can't help her much, I can pay for our food and pay our electric and water bill. I know she still struggles financially though. I hate that I can't do more to help her, but I'm stuck waiting for a disability hearing (could be as long as 18 months). I've thought about killing myself so many times. I've been so lonely.

My ex isn't lonely, though. She moved on a few months after we separated. She has a boyfriend in another state. We're still waiting on getting everything finalized until I can afford the filing fees, but I've got a signed uncontested divorce, just like I asked for. I've kept celibate, partially because I don't want to be a cheater like her, and partially because I'm having trouble getting over her. She was terrible to me...it should be so easy to move on. But it hasn't been. However, I saw a video that changed my mind on things. It talked about how men and women respond to heartache differently. Women feel a deep, intense emotionally pain...for about 3 months. And then they usually get over it and move on. Men, on the other hand, don't react as bad initially but the pain never really diminishes. They still report feeling the pain and heartache just as intensely as when it happened, even years later. Hearing that helped me realize a sad truth: I'd been waiting for the day the pain would be better. That day will never come. What I have to do is learn to live with the pain, both physical and emotional. With that in mind, I decided a couple of weeks ago to talk to my ex.
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I told her I wanted her to answer a question and be brutally honest and not spare my feelings, so I could have closure. I said, "Why was I not enough for you? Did you really hate me so much that you wanted me to die?" She said that she'd never hated me, but that she felt trapped and saw an opportunity and took it, but that she regretted it (as well as many other things). Then she reminded me that I hadn't been perfect in our marriage. I fought a lot in the beginning. I overreacted to a lot of things. I stopped dating her. I didn't let her spend our money the way she wanted to, and she felt like I was treating her like a child. I realized that all of that was true, even if there were reasons for it. And just like that, I stopped feeling like a victim. I've spent the last year wallowing in my sadness, hiding from the world because of my pain. I convinced myself that I had never felt the love of a woman and never will because I'm not worth it.

I was wrong. Yeah, I haven't been able to work, but in just a year, without the constant influence of toxic family members, my son has thrived. Most of the issues we had related to his autism got better or disappeared entirely. My son shot ahead to the top of his class and even completed the 1st grade curriculum by Thanksgiving. He blossomed, both physically and mentally. He's almost a foot taller, he weighs 15 lbs more than he did a year ago, and he's more self-sufficient than most kids his age. He's not in a special education class, like he was in regular public school. The school just made a few modifications, which I gladly went down there and showed them, and my son took the opportunity and ran with it. He's starting to take after me in some ways. I gave him his first PC a couple of weeks ago, and he's been so happy. Today, I caught him in the level editor in Portal 2, building his own maps. He's 7.
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I may have screwed up everything else in my life, but he's the one thing I got right. I put him first, always. I'm involved, unlike his mother, who elects to see him for about an hour, twice a month. I never gave up on him and I've supported him no matter what. I realize now that the years of pain and abuse I suffered, the emotional neglect, the attempted murder...all of that was worth it because it means he is with me now. He's safe, he's happy, and he's loved. We have four dogs and an Umbrella Cockatoo who's about the same age as me (34). All of the pets love him to pieces, and everywhere he goes in the house, he is followed by at least one dog.

I probably will end up being single for the rest of my life. I'm realistic about things...I'm not an attractive man, I don't have money, I'm a single father, and I am constantly in pain. No woman in her right mind is going to want to deal with that. And you know what? That's ok. I sowed my wild oats when I was younger. Hell, at 10 years, my marriage lasted longer than both of my mother's combined. It's ok. I'm learning to love myself again and be content with my life. I don't want to bring anyone into my life and my son's if they aren't going to add something positive. And maybe, with any luck, there will be some new treatments for my condition. Life doesn't have to be all doom and gloom just because some bad shit happened to me. I just hate that I don't have the means to provide my son with a better life. When my mom passes, we're probably destined for a trailer park. I don't see any way around that, but I'm still going to do my best to provide my son with a great life.

So...that's my story up until today. Hoping it improves somewhat, but I've learned to be content with what I have.
pretty interesting story.

You never know ahead what the futur hold.

I thought it would be funny.
You're a good man, any woman would be lucky to have someone as caring as you. I'm not gonna say that there is someone out there for you, there are a lot of really good men out there who don't have anybody, but that's okay because you are loved. Thank you for being you. Damn. I've been on /b/ for many years now, didn't expect to go soft on a story like this.
Okay, that's fair, gave me a bit of a chuckle.
I have read pretty much all of this, my soul yearns and screams in agony at the thought of what your life must have felt like. In the name of every son/schild that needed saving from either a malicious patent or any other wicked encounter, thank you. The offer you have made will nog fall upon deaf ears nor blind eyes. I hope you will find a sense of contentment in life, for the sake of thia horrific story i actually hope this is fiction.

OP, you have made my soul grief tour hardships, please do not fear, doubt, hate or spend any of tour thoughts on this wicked woman. You deserve something beter, may your soul reach Nirvana and sit far on top of the heavens, as your kindness shines over your son's future.

Godspeed anon.
Your first mistake was ever having relationships in the first place. People are like bombs, if you hug them too tight they explode and kill you. Therefore aim them at the enemy after priming to carve out the empire you desire.

I think so too. Also, never call yourself "beta" ever again. Assuming this story is true, you are caring, strong and honest. This is the essence of masculinity.
Nigger you are already failing in your son story

When you have no family get back to me
How could you not know you had a health issue with that black box always on your face?
Thank you. I've been on /b/ a long time too. I appreciate the kind and unexpected words.

This is all fact. It's my life. I wasn't perfect either, but I always tried to make my family's life better. I don't know if I'll ever find anyone willing to deal with my health issues and financial situation. But for the first time, I'm OK with being alone.

Yeah, probably.

Thank you very much. It's true. I could probably post more pictures that could provide some "proof" but I don't really see the point. I mean, if I were to prove that this all happened...what would it change?

Everybody has them here. It's the new trend.
anon is right. OP is a cuck.
Change your mind on child support.
>He's starting to take after me in some ways
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You sound like a wonderful person to me.
Good times will come sooner or later, you just have to believe in it, I am sure of that.
Never let anyone tell you, that you are a bad or terrible person, because you definitely arent.
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Damn dude. I know from personal experience that you can do everything to make something work but women will do what they wanna do. I'm glad your son's doing better and I hope your pain gets manageable.
Technically, yes. I fit the dictionary definition, but it isn't a fetish. It's something that happened to me that I still hate.

I appreciate you saying that. I'm learning to be happy with things as they, though.

I really did try everything I could think of to try and make it work. She was just too lazy to bother doing anything on her end. Thanks about my son and the pain. My son will be alright...he's doing super in school, and I make sure I help him with his homework every day. I'm nearly homebound because of my pain, so I'm always there when he needs me. Sadly, all medicinal treatments for trigeminal neuralgia have failed to make a significant difference in my pain. It just gradually increases in intensity and frequency over time. Used to be, I'd have remissions that would last a couple of weeks. I don't remember the last time I had a remission last even a day, now. There are surgical options but they're quite risky.

Yeah, I get it. He's got the literal version, not the meme version. And yes, I've considered that I might fall on the spectrum too.
Find a nutritional strategy. Stick with it. Exercise. Go to the gym. Take control of yourself, sort your shit out, the rest will follow.
Seriously OP
Get some child support from her
Maybe you can open a kickstarter for a company to make a made for TV movie from this story
Damn what a story.. thanks for sharing it. You sound like an amazing kind hearted man, I hope you will find the love you deserve, and that from now on you will be happy for the rest of your life, together with your son.
I am very limited on what I can do, but I have a recumbent tricycle. I'm going to start riding it daily.

I don't feel right taking money from her. She barely makes much more than me. She only works part time.

Haha that'd be interesting. I doubt anyone would pay for it though.
Hey who knows man new medications come out everyday.
I get that, most of it is nutrition though. Restrict your calories, be disciplined and consistent. Letting yourself get that far gone is done one compromise at a time. To get back you have to stop sliding.
Very true. The one (legal) medication that helped reduce the frequency of the attacks virtually lobotomized me. I had no short-term memory and would fall asleep anytime I was sitting down for very long.

My nutrition has improved quite a bit. I think my biggest problem is portion control. I find it hard to ignore the hunger pains that come when I don't eat a large amount.
If anyone wants to ask me any questions or want more details, just ask.
If your kidneys are healthy try Keto. I'm doing that right now, and although I could eat more and still lose weight, I'm pretty fucking impatient so I am restricting intake as well. I never eat until I am full. Just adapt to smaller sizes and get used to always being at least a little hungry.
Thanks for the story anon. You were certainly handed a bad situation in life and it's amazing you haven't killed yourself. I'm about to have a daughter and me and my wife of 7 years have been arguing a lot. I don't want it to be like this forever, and in all honesty compared to what you dealt with my arguments are insignificant. Maybe I should just learn to let things go easier. Good luck to you, I hope your situation will improve greatly.
You are a saint if you don't want to slightly hurt your ex's financial situation after she tried to kill you, among the other horrible things she did. Most men would have killed her, violently. I probably would have, hell I want to just reading your story.
Dude, you ARE NOT a fucking beta. You are a Fucking martyr....a saint even....your son will be there for you forever and always
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