CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE: Miner Dan Edition
>first dubs or better each turn decides the fate of our main character
>any other dubs or better after this will be ignored until the next turn; so sorry
>if there is already a winner, wait for the next turn before trying to decide Dan's fate--check'em and don't waste your dubs
>next turn starts when OP posts the next picture
>the game ends when i say it ends
Dan and his co-worker are mining for coal right now. Mining is a very dangerous job, what with all the cave-ins, explosions, and noxious gas. I hope you have good life insurance Dan. Well, better get back to work now. Dubs or better decides Dan's fate.
Dan's previous adventures (they're archived somewhere if you've missed any of 'em)
Dan Gets Mugged By A Black Edition
Dan Gets Mugged By A Black Edition Part Two
Dan The Ice Cream Man Edition
Dan's Saucy Date Edition
Dan's A Dad Edition
Marooned Dan Edition
Dan's Delivery Edition
Sir Dan's Quest Edition
The Great Houdanny Edition
The Great Houdanny Edition Part Two
Funeral Dan Edition
Chef Dan Edition
"HURRY UP DAN GET BACK TO WORK". Dan didn't take kindly to his co-corker bossing him around so he plays a prank on him by blowing fire in his face with his farts. Dan's co-worker is set ablaze! Fuck Dan! What kind of joke was that?! You're co worker is in pain! Help him put out the fire!
OP, have you looked into /qst/ before? They'd probably be more accommodating to threads like this than /b/. Anyway,
Dan throws dirt at the boss's face until the fire extinguishes.
No, but I think everything there has to be safe for work which would mean Dan can't do something that would upset a moderator or others on that board (i'd have to read their rules to be sure). I want dan to be free to do anything he wants.
"HELP ME YOU MOTHER FUCKER!" Looks like someone forgot the magic word (please).instead of helping Dan shits in the mine cart and rolls over his co worker in it. Dan makes race car noises and pretends to steer a wheel while he does this.
Dan thinks it would be funny to burry his co worker in debris so he tries to chip some away from the mineshaft ceiling. Instead on little bits of debris falling on Dan's co worker, a whole boulder falls and crushes his head. My god Dan, you've killed him. How are you gonna live with yourself?
Dan kicks back and looks at all the sluts in his porno magazine. He looses track of time, and another worker comes to check on Dan and the dead guy to see if all is ok. " OH MY GOD! What happened here!? Why were you just looking at porn instead of getting help!" Damn Dan, you're in trouble now. You'll probably get fired.
Seems like there is some confusion with the rules, so i'll say it again: any gets after the a winning get will be ignored until the next turn, sorry. Reroll next turn if you want your thing to win.
Dan know's there is no turning back now, so he pick axes the guy in the head. Both the workers are now dead. However looking at that porno has made dan horny, he bum fucks the first guy, then finishes in the second guy. Ok Dan if this is the path you've chosen you better get out of there before anyone else spots you.
Dan does a hand stand. Fuckin' bad ass. Look at'em go. Oh shit! Now he's only using one hand. Dan is the coolest guy out there
Dan is a psychopath so he has a overwhelming urge to wear his victim's dead bodies. He takes the torso of the first guy and half of the skull of the second guy, and wears them like a jacket and hat.
Dan hops in the mine cart with his poo, and rolls out of there. As the dim lights pass him by, and he reflects on all he has done Dan has an existential crisis "am i real? Or is life just one big cartoon? Where do cartoons go when they die?" Dan reaches the end of the mine where his boss is yelling at him demanding to know what the fuck is going on.
the blood spilled in the underground tunnels where light hasn't touched stone in millennia summons the blood thirsty dwellers of the ground: the mole kikes. they walk out of the mine as boss yells at Dan
Dan has had it with his fucking boss yellong at him all the time--he was gonna quit anyway. Dan bitch slaps his boss, ties him up to the mine cart, then rips his eyes out of hos skull and buts them on his skull hat. Then dan kicks the minecart back into the mine. His boss's screams han be heard echoing in the cave
For his final act before putting putting everybehind him. Dan takes some c-4 used for mining and blasts the entrance of the mine. Dan gives no fucks, and walks off without looking at it like it's nothing
Dan knows he is a menace to society and belongs behind bars; it is the only place where dan knows he will fit in. So he walks into a police station and confesses all he has done. An officer is now going to cuff dan.
the mole kikes awoken by Dan's underground sacrifice break through the ground at the police station to save their savior. they steal all the money and gold in the police station and kill all the officers by pecking their faces in with their jew noses.
Once dan is sent to prison, he tries to prove himself by raping the toughest guy in the prison. When everyone sees this happen it destroys all the ballance in the prison's hierarchy. A riot starts. Look what you did dan, you're just making things worse!
Dan assembles an army of child molesters and prison bitches. The hierarchy is truly upended. With the rise of the cruel and cowardly comes a reign borne of true debauchery and rape runs the halls.
A bunch of traps see dan and rape him. They bukakke all over his face and body. Dan looks traumatized.
But from the depths of pain humans find true strength. Dan starts smiling and realizes the male glaze covering his face is giving him a throbbing erection. The traps back away in fear from the crazed look in Dan's gleeful eyes.
The cum seeps into Dan's skin transforming him into a big breasted bimbo, with a vagina large enough to accomadate all the worlds men. Thus does dan bring about word peace and redeem hisself.
Dan removes a but plug from his ass which has been up there for ages. The gas pressure that has been building up over the years is released all at once and dan skyrockets out of the prison with enough thrust to reach the moon
Dan spots an ayy lmao on the moon. Wow that's amazing! Dan tries to call out to it but his voice cannot be heard in space. The alien has not noticed dan, and is messing with some sort of button dievice in it's hand
Dan sneaks up behind the alien and snatches his device. "Hey nerd what'chu got there, something gay i bet!" The alien tries to take it back but dan pushes him away "stop earthling, that device can teleport and sommon anything, it is extremely dangerous if you do not know how to use it!"
Dan pressed the button summoning hitler from the depths of time and a new Reich rises up and the earth is saved from kikes, faggots, traps, niggers, shitskin and further degeneracy. Everyone lives in a utopia forever.
Dan rapes the alien to shut him up. Afterwards he pushes the button. Oh shit, cthulu is summoned! Do you know what you've just unleashed upon the world dan!? No don't rape cthulu, you idiot!
Dan sees a shooting star and wishes upon it for a dick ten times larger. His with is granted and then dan uses his dick to face fuck cthulu so hard that his dick goes out his other end
Sticking his dick into cuthulu's mouth was the last mistake Dan would ever make. Cuthulu bites off Dan's brand new dick and slurps it up like a spaghetti noodle. Dan is mortified to loose his dick and dies from blood loss
>the end. Thanks all who participated