CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE: Miner Dan Edition RULES: >first

>>736657218
Dan is actually guy fierri and tries to cook some FLAVORTOWN level burgers for him and his friend down there

Dan swings his axe at a rock.

Dan blows fire in his co-worker's face by farting into a lighter at him

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>>736657633
"HURRY UP DAN GET BACK TO WORK". Dan didn't take kindly to his co-corker bossing him around so he plays a prank on him by blowing fire in his face with his farts. Dan's co-worker is set ablaze! Fuck Dan! What kind of joke was that?! You're co worker is in pain! Help him put out the fire!

Dan sits down for a break to read a porno mag

OP, have you looked into /qst/ before? They'd probably be more accommodating to threads like this than /b/. Anyway,
>>736658149
Dan throws dirt at the boss's face until the fire extinguishes.

>>736658453
Roll

Dan pisses on the boss's face until the fire extinguishes.

Dan swings his pickaxe at his coworker's neck to kill him.

>>736658661
Rerollin'

>>736658476
Rerollin'

>>736657391
Dan runs over co worker with mining cart after pooping in the mining cart

Too easy, Dan unleashes a giant cumshot on his co worker's face to put the fire out

>>736658476
No, but I think everything there has to be safe for work which would mean Dan can't do something that would upset a moderator or others on that board (i'd have to read their rules to be sure). I want dan to be free to do anything he wants.

>>736658880
Dan eats poop from mining cart

>>73665888

The body of the dead miner becomes the body of a dead minor

>>736659034
Re roll

>>736659034
Re roll please

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>>736658844
BRUTAL

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>>736658844
"HELP ME YOU MOTHER FUCKER!" Looks like someone forgot the magic word (please).instead of helping Dan shits in the mine cart and rolls over his co worker in it. Dan makes race car noises and pretends to steer a wheel while he does this.

One of those giant red monsters from Dig Dug show up and Dan and his friend have ro dig for their lives.

>>736659034
Re roll please thanks

>>736659552
Dan uses pick axe to remove co workers face and wears it

>>736659669
Dan ties dead body to front of mine cart after covering himself (Dan) in feces

>>736659669
>>736659784
These two combined

>>736659286
Dan grabs the pickaxe beside the cart and starts chipping away at the ceiling, so that the debris falls onto his boss.

>>736659816
Ugh

>>736658615
Rerollin'

>>736659839
Check em

>>736659878
One more reroll.

>>736659816
Chica chica re roll

>>736659490
This except it's the dragon monster, not the red one

>>736659816
Fuuuuck re roll for this

A minecraft creeper causes a cave in

>>736659286
Dan kills him self

>>736659827
Rerollin'

Dan strikes a vein of GOLD and kills his co worker so that he can keep it a secret and all to himself

Dan puts out the fire with his piss

>>736659827
Roll

>>736660304
Dan jumps in mine cart and takes off down the rails with the dead body. He loves the dead body

>>736660399
Dan uncovers dead body and cuts off face so he can wear it

>>736660500
Strippers start appearing from the whole Dan made in the ceiling

>>736660573
Re roll but hole

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>>736660399
Dan thinks it would be funny to burry his co worker in debris so he tries to chip some away from the mineshaft ceiling. Instead on little bits of debris falling on Dan's co worker, a whole boulder falls and crushes his head. My god Dan, you've killed him. How are you gonna live with yourself?

Dan sticks giant googly eyes on the boulder to make it look silly

>>736660500
Heeeeyo

>>736661012
Roll

>>736660848
Dan straps the rest of the dead body to the front of the cart and goes
Off down the rails

>>736660848
Dan puts the poop back up his ass

>>736658453
Reroll

>>736660848
dan attempts to hide the body, but his only experience with such things is known from Japanese game shows

>>736660500
There's another get after the one >>736660848 details.
Should Dan follow through with it?

>>736661255
I suppose so.
>>736660500 should happen next, then.
Fucking psychopath.

>>736661331
Dan then takes the dead body and cuts it into little pieces and eats them

>>736661012
roll

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>>736661233
Dan kicks back and looks at all the sluts in his porno magazine. He looses track of time, and another worker comes to check on Dan and the dead guy to see if all is ok. " OH MY GOD! What happened here!? Why were you just looking at porn instead of getting help!" Damn Dan, you're in trouble now. You'll probably get fired.

then dan kills this guy and fucks the two corpses

>>736661823
Dan then attempts to kill the other worker with his pickaxe.

>>736661255
Seems like there is some confusion with the rules, so i'll say it again: any gets after the a winning get will be ignored until the next turn, sorry. Reroll next turn if you want your thing to win.

>>736661894
Rerolling for no witnesses

>>736661823
You skipped him wearing the face


So now Dan kills other guy. Removes his face and his penis. Wears the face but cuts off the noes and replaces it with the penis

>>736662011
God damn it

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>>736662011
DONE

Well? We're waiting.gif

>>736662153
Gay

>>736662404
Dan fists the two dead body's and wears them on his arms like puppets

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>>736662011
Dan know's there is no turning back now, so he pick axes the guy in the head. Both the workers are now dead. However looking at that porno has made dan horny, he bum fucks the first guy, then finishes in the second guy. Ok Dan if this is the path you've chosen you better get out of there before anyone else spots you.

>>736662456
And uses his fart powers to propell himself to the city above

>>736662017
There was a winner two posts above that, so that one got ignored. Roll again if you wanna see that happen so bad

>>736662456
Re roll fo sho

>>736662589
Re rollirino

>>736662626
This

>>736662589
Double fisted puppets

>>736662669
Uh huh

>>736662698
Thiiiis

>>736662456
Thiiiis

>>736662779
Re re re re roll

Dan does a killer handstand

>>736662855
Lmao see. Mine was better

Dan gives in to cannibalism

>>736662888
Wtf

>>736662855
>>736662888
Dan does two killer handstands???

>>736662921
Waitijg

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>>736662855
Dan does a hand stand. Fuckin' bad ass. Look at'em go. Oh shit! Now he's only using one hand. Dan is the coolest guy out there

Dan kills himself

Monsters from dig dug show up and dan has to dig for his life

dan posts pictures of his kills to 4chan

Dan cause a huge cave in to bury the evidence

>>736663198
Dan wears the dead bodies like puppets

>>736663400
Finally

>>736663338
I like this rolling

Dam paints his face using the brown paint in the minecart and the red paint on his dead co-workers.

>>736663702
Poop and blood. Ahaha

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>>736663400
Dan is a psychopath so he has a overwhelming urge to wear his victim's dead bodies. He takes the torso of the first guy and half of the skull of the second guy, and wears them like a jacket and hat.

>>736663785
When I eat my girlfriends asshole when she's on her period

>>736663838
Dan then jumps in the cart and takes off down the rails while singing imagine dragons

>>736663918
This but he sings queen

Dan takes his poop and leaves the mine shaft with it

>>736663838
Dan runs out of the mine and steals the nearest car

Dan leaves the cave, and goes to the police station.

>>736663918
This but he doesn't sing. He talks to himself about how life is just one big cartoon

>>736664033
Holy shit.

>>736663918
Rawlin for this but he recites Hitler's famouse speech to the nation

>>736663965
this, specifically Dont Stop Me Now

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>>736657218

Dan does another fucking rad handstand

>>736664340
Two of them

>>736664388
This guy gets it

>>736664497
This guy also gets it

Where's the drawing?

>>736664719
I guess we're done herr

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>>736664033
Dan hops in the mine cart with his poo, and rolls out of there. As the dim lights pass him by, and he reflects on all he has done Dan has an existential crisis "am i real? Or is life just one big cartoon? Where do cartoons go when they die?" Dan reaches the end of the mine where his boss is yelling at him demanding to know what the fuck is going on.

>>736657218
This loli looks too real to be fake http://fuckmytoes.com

A little freaked out actually

>>736664781
Dan shoves his hand up his bosses ass and rips out his tongue through his asshole

Dan throws his poo in his boss's face

Dan rapes him, and then goes to the police station to turn himself in.

>>736664781
Dan ties his boss to the front of the mine cart. Cuts his eyes out and wears them in his new hat. And then rolls his boss back into the mine

>>736664923
Reroll for this.

>>736664983
Too late

>>736664908
Roll

>>736664781
the blood spilled in the underground tunnels where light hasn't touched stone in millennia summons the blood thirsty dwellers of the ground: the mole kikes. they walk out of the mine as boss yells at Dan

>>736665375
That gave me a boner

>>736665375
Don't stop there. What else

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>>736664977
Dan has had it with his fucking boss yellong at him all the time--he was gonna quit anyway. Dan bitch slaps his boss, ties him up to the mine cart, then rips his eyes out of hos skull and buts them on his skull hat. Then dan kicks the minecart back into the mine. His boss's screams han be heard echoing in the cave

He then goes to the police station to turn himself in.

>>736665480
Dan the sets that truck on fire and sends it in the mine also, but first drinks a refreshing cup of his own urine

>>736665480
What about handstand number two

>>736665572
Reroll this baby...

>>736665592
Re re rolll

>>736665636
Heyyyyyo mama

>>736665375
reroll for mole kikes

>>736665592
Gaaaay

>>736665701
This but Dan mates with them when they come out

>>736665774
This but he mates with them. Then kills them and wears their mole skins and uses it to go to their mole city

>>736665829
This... but he does all this while singing queen

>>736665480

Dan tosses C-4 into the cave to seal off the entrance and to trap the boss until he dies of exhaustion and thirst.

>cool guys don't look at assplosions

>>736664781
Dan drives truck to closest town and shoves coal up kids' assholes like a deranged ice cream man

Dan kills himself.

>>736665900
Think we got a winrar boys

Dan decides to set the coal on fire in order not to be so co(a)l (d).

dan faps

Dan kills himself.

>>736665943
How the fuck are the mole people going to come out for Dan to fuck???

dan goes on rape spree

>>736665480
Dan uses coal to give himself black face and now only speaks in ebonics

>>736666031

Dan drills a hole in the ground and fucks it

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>>736665900
For his final act before putting putting everybehind him. Dan takes some c-4 used for mining and blasts the entrance of the mine. Dan gives no fucks, and walks off without looking at it like it's nothing

>>736666194
Dan drills hole in mole person... fucks it

waiting for >>736666666

>>736666247
REROLL

Dan takes remaining c-4 and wears it a a suicide vest then this happens: >>736665572

>>736666286
Re roll

Dan consumes coal.

>>736666245
Dan decides to turn his life around and open a fruit stand near a retirement community

>>736666245
Dan takes coal. Does black face. Picks up black woman. Lynches her. Feeds body to mole people.

Santa comes and fucks up dan for destrouing his coal mining operations

>>736666315
Re rollllll

Dan goes to the police station and confesses his crimes.

>>736666381
Re roll

>>736666429
Dan decides he will become an accountant. He enrolled in community college

>>736666501
Mole people

dan suddenly conjures up a giant steel mining dildo that he can use to mine

>>736666245
Dan creates a wormhole that takes him back in time to the very first picture from this thread

>>736666698
Dan goes home

>>736666055
i win dont i

>>736667000
No

>>736667000
again

>>736667000
check em

>>736667000
Nah, the Police Station Anon was first.

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>>736666433
Dan knows he is a menace to society and belongs behind bars; it is the only place where dan knows he will fit in. So he walks into a police station and confesses all he has done. An officer is now going to cuff dan.

>>736667092
Dan says sorry. Blows his brains out

>>736667092
dan escapes while turning into a cyborg ninja

Dan ascends the physical plane of existence and becomes an omnipresent being of destruction and malice.

>>736667092
Dan wears the police offices as slippers

Dan gets sent to a cell with a man named Bubba.

Before the officer gets to cuff him, he did some crazy fancy magic trick and cuffed the officer instead. He takes his gun and go on a rampage at the police station. John Wick style.

>>736667092
Dan dies and goes to heaven and rapes Jesus

>>736667092
after being sent to jail
dan rapes the biggest toughest guy in prison and causes a riot

>>736667241
Roll

>>736667092
Dan secretly took the remaining c4 and strapped it to himself. He detonates the explosive as the cop cuffs him

>>736667092
Dan allows himself to be cuffed and go to prison for his crimes

>>736667092
the mole kikes awoken by Dan's underground sacrifice break through the ground at the police station to save their savior. they steal all the money and gold in the police station and kill all the officers by pecking their faces in with their jew noses.

>>736658149
Dan decided to quit his job and go to the beach.

>>736667092
Dan dies in prison. Goes to heaven. Rapes Jesus Christ

Dan is placed in the same cell as Andy Sixx and Dan Schneider

>>736667437
Jesus comes down, mates with the mole people, antichrist is born

>>736667523
Rerolling

>>736667212

>>736667538
>>736667437
>>736667395
What.
The
Fuck

>>736667597
Welcome to 4chan.

Dan stops time as he becomes Dio Brando.

>>736667092
Dan is karate master beats up cops steals gun the shoots them both in the balls

>>736667266
After Dan rapes another inmate, his old mining buddy Cliff busts him out of prison by digging a tunnel under the prison and blowing a big hole with explosives

>>736667754
rolling for THIS

>>736667868
Dan becomes the day man

Fighter of the night man

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>>736667266
Once dan is sent to prison, he tries to prove himself by raping the toughest guy in the prison. When everyone sees this happen it destroys all the ballance in the prison's hierarchy. A riot starts. Look what you did dan, you're just making things worse!

>>736667092
While in prison dan is gangbanged by five traps, and drowns in their cum.

>>736667092
Guess we're done here

Dan then rapes Jared Fogle.

>>736668088
Fin

>>736668052
During the riot, Dan takes his chance to escape, and crawls through the sewers

Dan shits in the toughest guy's butthole

>>736668088
The mole people save him last second by creating a hole to drain the cum and they eat it. All of it

>>736668052
Dan assembles an army of child molesters and prison bitches. The hierarchy is truly upended. With the rise of the cruel and cowardly comes a reign borne of true debauchery and rape runs the halls.

>>736668052
Dan farts toxic fumes

>>736668397
Dan pulls a butt plug out of his ass. Releasing the fart he's been holding in for 6 years 236 days 7 hours and 53 minutes. It rockets him to the moon

Jabba teh Hutt

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>>736668088
A bunch of traps see dan and rape him. They bukakke all over his face and body. Dan looks traumatized.

>>736668619
The mole people come up from the ground and save Dan. Killing guards and prisoners alike

Dan rapes the traps back.

>>736668619
drawing from his hidden power, he became super saiyan and kills everybody.

>>736668538
Re roll yeah

>>736668619
Traumatized by the incident. Dan decides he needs more protection and enters a prison gang

>>736668619
He fucks every trap that was, is, and will be as revenge

>>736668619
Dan sucks his own dick, then cums all over prison

>>736668733
WINNNNAR

>>736668619
Dan swallows all the cum to survive

>>736668619
But from the depths of pain humans find true strength. Dan starts smiling and realizes the male glaze covering his face is giving him a throbbing erection. The traps back away in fear from the crazed look in Dan's gleeful eyes.

>>736668807
8888

>>736668739
Roll

The cum seeps into Dan's skin transforming him into a big breasted bimbo, with a vagina large enough to accomadate all the worlds men. Thus does dan bring about word peace and redeem hisself.

>>736669055
damn wasted.

>>736669055
That Escalated Quickly!

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>>736668733
Dan removes a but plug from his ass which has been up there for ages. The gas pressure that has been building up over the years is released all at once and dan skyrockets out of the prison with enough thrust to reach the moon

>>736669334
Dan thrusts cock first back to earth

>>736669334
Dan yells for ayy lmaos, but alas he can't be heard

>>736669334
Dan gets makes friends with moonbears

>>736669435
Rerollin

Dan then dies due to the lack of oxygen in space.

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>>736669444

>>736669444
Nice trips mr winner

>>736669334
space niggers come out of the dark side of the moon and ask him for the time

>>736669499
Thanks, nice dubs

>>736669499
WASTE OF DUBS! CONTRIBUTE TO STORY!

>>736669334
Dan launches himself from the moon towards the earth, as he nears the ground he readies his dick, and thrusts into earth shattering the planet in two.

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>>736669444
Dan spots an ayy lmao on the moon. Wow that's amazing! Dan tries to call out to it but his voice cannot be heard in space. The alien has not noticed dan, and is messing with some sort of button dievice in it's hand

>>736669821
The device gives dan the ability to teleport and summon anything

dan sees how far he can put his hand down his throat in an attempt to communicate

Dan Fucks its brains out!

>>736669821
The alien presses the button, and Dan is morphed into a sexy bimbo and teleported back to the mine.

>>736669925
Reroll

>>736669943
reroll

>>736669821
The device arms a laser that would destroy planet earth if pressed

>>736669955
Trip dub dub

>>736669821
Dan gets mad about being ignored and rapes and kills ayy lmao. wears alien's skull and face and walks around using the device to look for other alien's to fuck

>>736669821
Moon Bitches have an orgy with dan and his new friend.

Dan dropkicks the alien

>>736669998
So fucking close to quads...

Dan kills himself only to wake up in the mine again

>>736670293
Roll

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>>736669955
Dan sneaks up behind the alien and snatches his device. "Hey nerd what'chu got there, something gay i bet!" The alien tries to take it back but dan pushes him away "stop earthling, that device can teleport and sommon anything, it is extremely dangerous if you do not know how to use it!"

>>736670293
Rollol

dan inserts the device into his own asshole, and gets it stuck.

Dan Simmons Kim Jong Un and proceeds to rape him.

>>736670391
Dan uses the device to teleport to a retirement home in Florida brining the alien with him, there are many old folk about wondering what's going on

Dan rapes the alien and summon cthulu

>>736670391
Dan uses it and teleports to a gay bar

>>736670570
Rr

Dan summons a really sharp stick and shanks the alien.

He gives up

>>736670570
This but he also rapes cthulu

>>736670645
Reroll

>>736670645
This but he also rapes himself

>>736670473
Reroll

>>736670645
Reroll

>>736670391
Dan teleports into a fluffy thread

>>736670391
Dan summons cthulu to wreak havoc on earth

Dan summons long cat and travel on its back, back to earth.

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>>736657218

>>736670744
Well damn

Dan dropkicks so hard that he flies back to earth

>>736670391
Dan pressed the button summoning hitler from the depths of time and a new Reich rises up and the earth is saved from kikes, faggots, traps, niggers, shitskin and further degeneracy. Everyone lives in a utopia forever.

>>736670883
Rawl

>>736670883
roll

Dan fucking dies

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>>736670744
Dan rapes the alien to shut him up. Afterwards he pushes the button. Oh shit, cthulu is summoned! Do you know what you've just unleashed upon the world dan!? No don't rape cthulu, you idiot!

Dan realizes there is no oxygen on the moon and he suffocates to death

>>736671397
Dan summons his waifu to also rape cthulu

>>736671397
Dan then rapes the moon

>>736671498
Reroll because so close

>>736671397
Dan cock gets 10 times bigger and facefucks cthulu

>>736671494
Reroll

Dan teleports back to earth and rapes more people than Eminem has name dropped.

>>736671585
Rer

>>736671494
Roll

>>736671517
This but the moon also rapes dan

>>736671634
Roll

>>736671652
Reroll

>>736671666
Trips again, nice

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>>736671666
Dan sees a shooting star and wishes upon it for a dick ten times larger. His with is granted and then dan uses his dick to face fuck cthulu so hard that his dick goes out his other end

>>736671494
Do this

Cuthulu then turns Dan into a gay Merman.

Dan dies. Horribly. Probably ripped out by cthulus tit

>>736672149
Reroll

>>736672152
Com on

>>736672055
Dan summons cthulu a pussy and summons a moon cock to fuck the cthulu pussy with

>>736672055
cthulu unwillingly begins to enjoy the rape. he then becomes Dan's waifu and Dan flies back to earth on Cthulu's back. He keeps the monster dong

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>>736672199
Sticking his dick into cuthulu's mouth was the last mistake Dan would ever make. Cuthulu bites off Dan's brand new dick and slurps it up like a spaghetti noodle. Dan is mortified to loose his dick and dies from blood loss
>the end. Thanks all who participated

RIP In Pepperonis...

>>736672710
When are you planning on doing another one?

>>736672710
If only dan could have summoned a new dick to stop the blood loss before he died

>>736672827
I have no schedule unfortunately. I Just do them at random.