>>736604339 I've found cymbalta to really help with my depression. You should ask about it if you haven't tried it before. Whatcha taking for anxiety? With my bpd they won't prescribe me any benzos for more than a month at a time and it's rough.
>>736604558 Loud and clear. Yeah I've noticed some random outbursts of aggressive from seemingly nowhere since I started it.. idk I look at it as I'd rather be a little quick to anger from time to time than depressed all the time.
>>736604914 What do you take for schitzoaffective? They had me on Seroquel for a little bit but it made me a bit groggy the day after. Now I just get the refills to sleep lol. Them anti psychotics are great for sleep
>>736603673 I'm a diagnosed sociopath due a series of fires I started at age 8 as an act of protest.
I wanted an individual room in the orphanage I was living, they denied it arguing that those are reserved for the oldest or more problematic residents... and decided to be problematic. Locked the door and started a fire with me and my roomate inside (he was sleeping). I locked to door so the fire got the chance to get big enough as need to call the firemen. Eventually the firemen came, broke the door, extinguish the fire, and I got into disciplinary treatment (school-isolation room where the only thing you can do is homework). One week later, the room was fixed... I was assigned to that room... and also my roomate.
The very same day I did the same. Locked the door, started a fire, etc... just to show how determined I was to get my individual room. 1 week of disciplinary treatment and psychologist later I had my very own room. I won.
Bought a lock soon after (also against the rules).
>>736605578 I don't know if things are still like this today (i'm 42), and my experience is based in Spain sytem.
It's more or less like a college major, you got your room (normally shared), there is a dinneroom, a kitchen (were you're not allowed), etc. You go to school... to a normal school.
The singular is the residents. Once somebody is 3 year old, you fall in the category "not for adoption". Often they're children from disfunctional families that lost the "patria postestad", or child born sick that nobody wants (down syndrome) or children from immigrants that died.
Robbery is the first language in those places, other problematic behaviours are a constant too. But the main problem (for me) where the robberies.
>>736603673 Borderline can't be fixed with medication. Anyone in the medical community is in denial if they think it can. The best thing you can do is try different things to remember to be good to people, do anything to have calmness in your life and it will make your interactions with others more pleasant. Medication will make things worse for BP, you're right to stay away from them.
>>736606226 Yeah. I've been told time and time again to go to a DBT group (dialectical behavioral therapy).. I just don't think I'd do well in a group setting.. but that being said I've been to close minded to give it a try
>>736606235 I think that nowadays orphanages are near extinct in all the western countries? there must be some, ofc, but still...
Mainly, there are families that either want to earn points for a definitive adoption or just want money from the government that blindly adopt the kids. The families are the ones waiting for a kid, so it's a fast process.
This is due the "institutionalization" (I hope I translated that well) is considered a big problem for the education.
So you're basically in a family that didn't choose you. At this point you're not legally adopted though, this a longer process (years). You can't be adopted with a family that didn't go through this process (with you).
>>736606356 BP is a social thing really, so no wonder you don't want to go to a social setting. Ever think maybe it's just nature's way of telling you people are fucked and stay away from them? Like you might be fucked, but everyone else is fucked in a different way too. What kinds of things do you enjoy/are good at?
>>736607288 Yeah Borderline Personality Disorder isn't a social thing though, in terms of personality disorders. Also, meds are not indicated for the treatment of BPD, but may be useful in comorbid depression as another anon mentioned.
>>736607288 I'd like to go to college for computer science or computer engineering. have loved computers since I was young. Currently my life is pretty stagnant. Avoiding people and just learning from my apartment. Working from home and keeping to myself
>>736607566 Yeah. I mean I can fully understand how someone would think it is a "social thing".. I could see people thinking that about a lot of personality disorders. Also yeah medication doesn't help my bpd. But valium does make me be able to deal with anxiety and helps push me in the right direction. The anxiety being the cause of the anti social behavior of course
>>736608357 I mean sex was amazing. But it always had to involve some sort of bdsm. Usually cutting each other and licking the blood. We would constantly cheat on each other and lie about it. We got along perfectly as we have the exact same personality. But when one of us would get a fear of abandonment.. hell would break loose. We wouldn't hurt each other physically during arguments. We would more of try to force ourselves to abandon each other so we wouldn't be abandoned. Itd happy every few days and would last a few hours ending with everything going back to normal. Controlling each other and everything each other did
>>736608769 Oh yes. Constantly. Honestly I'm not someone who fully understands how my own condition works. But no matter what we would be inexplicably stuck together. It's an attraction I know we both still deal with and try to avoid contact if possible. We would constantly be paranoid and anxious about each other's actions. Constantly going on the other person's phone to try to catch them but we would both be cautious and hide anything. We were careless and hurt anyone that tried to help us and tell us we were bad for each other. Also thank you for asking me about this. Very nice to get it out there.
Social anxiety disorder, depression with psychotic features but I realized over the last few years I think I'm a legit Aspie/high functioning autism, never officially diagnosed with it though. Been on every medication under the sun, Benzos, Anti-depressants, Anti-psychotics, mainly Serqouel and Mirtazipine.
>>736609102 Yeah. I know the pain of being put on everything. Seemingly pointless and nothing working. And if something DOES work it's usually short lived and stops working within months. I'd pay a lot of money if someone made a benzo like med that didn't have the horrible side effects and tolerance growth.
>>736609167 Honestly if you tell someone who doesn't know they have BPD the almost always childhood of someone with BPD. They'll be amazed that you know their childhood so well. It's not ALWAYS the background of someone with bpd. But a lot of the time it's on the dot. I thought that instead of a background for a diagnosis they were telling me just about my childhood and upbringing (only posting a picture because my app is saying I'm trying to upload a file and maybe actually doing it will fix this)
>>736609595 It's not worth it.. been in and out of hospitals for attempts and whatnot. I've finally actually accepted the saying "suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem" I believe that it DOES get better. Personally it hasn't yet. But I can have some hope that it does. Hang in there man. You're not alone.
>>736609634 Yeah it's what my exes told me about their childhoods that is part of how I recognize other people with bpd. There are certain ways they behave and react to the world that tips me off as well. I can usually hang out with them just fine, but I never get to the point of flirting with them.
>>736609943 Probably for the best. Its a lot of work to be with someone with bpd as you probably know. And yeah it's really easy to identify them. You can almost always be certain there was neglect or abuse in their childhood. As well as probably 1 parent or less. Usually we become sexually active very young (I was 10-11) and had a lot of sexual partners. Those are the huge red flags you can see right away. I haven't been able to find any study or actual facts surrounding it but from my experience people I know with bpd usually get sexually aroused by almost any fetish. It's pretty bad. I wish I could find some documentation on it. Currently I feel like it might just be the few people and I that I know with bpd that have that problem.
>>736603673 Aspergers, adhd, depression and dyslexia. Socially retarded can't have a worthwhile conversation with anyone and I am unable to be in public or be around people in general because of panic attacks.
>>736610319 I feel you man. Again. I swear by valium for being amazing for helping with socializing. Sadly. Bad medication for long term use. Might be a stupid question but how does dyslexia "work" for you? Like how do you see letters and numbers and anything else that it affects
>>736610299 Yeah, being with someone with bpd was just too emotionally exhaustive to me, that combined with my stress induced social anxiety just isn't a good mix. I usually spot them within the first 10 minutes of meeting them, if they're dating one of my friends I make sure to keep an eye on how they're doing, just in case things go tits up.
>>736610567 It's not an if really it's more of a when lol. But that's nice of you to keep an eye out for friends. I hope they know about their condition. I wouldn't want to have to force someone to deal with my shit unless they know what they're in for.
>>736610732 Respect that. But I hope you don't think that medication is for the weak. It's here to help. Don't get me wrong. People use and abuse meds because they're lazy and want everything easy all the time. Sadly it makes things harder for people who really need the help.
>>736610697 Well I know how lonely it can feel to be in a relationship with someone who has bpd, so I make sure to be near if they reach that point, so they'll realize they aren't alone. If either my friend or the person they are dating doesn't mention the bpd and I notice my friend acting confused about what is going on, I try to gently introduce the idea to them.
If im being honest I dont know much about dyslexia I was diagnosed with it a long time ago and havent cared to know what it does in detail. But I have a hard time mixing up certain letters when writing or reading. I often forget the meaning of very common words that will make an sentence completly fucked. So you just have to reread everything and its a slow process.
>>736611085 Tumblr tells people to just go with their mental shit and not looking for help. People here are talking about dealing with their shit. If the thread doesn't interest you that's fine, but if you want tumblr shit, go to a trap thread and argue with people about whether the feminine penis is gay or not.
Major depression being self treated by lsd microdosing. Been doing it since February and it's truly been a lifesaver. 0 depression since I've started and my life has gotten way better without it holding me back.
>>736610991 That's very nice of you. Need more people like you lol. The rapid mood swings are an absolute friendship ruiner too. I've had friends that I'd hang out with and I'd be especially "bad" that day and they'd see me go from a euphoric almost high state to angry to depressed to happy to sad to stupid and ready to make mistakes all within a couple hours and it'd scare em off. I don't blame them in the slightest though. It's hard to keep up with that and alter plans and everything with someone like that.
Mental health is just another fashion statement nowadays.
95% of those who broadcast it publicly don't have it.
Schizoaffective, GAD and ADHD here. Mainly see and hear things others don't, mania, depression, random panic attacks over nothing and forgetting pretty much everything.
Currently on no medication as the side effects are too much.
Also, some bitch my girlfriend knows always goes on about her "bipolar" on social media, we were out one night in front of 6 or so of her friends and I asked how long she'd been on medication for, she replied "Oh like 3 or so years".
"What's the medication called"?
She didn't know, because she's not got fucking Bipolar the cunt, takes it all off of her social media.
>>736603673 I have just one sympton of OCD: compulsive hand washing. Nothing else related to that, but I was them roughly every 10/15 minutes, constantly. If I am in a place in which I can't wash them I bring tons of hand sanitizer and I constatly use it.
>>736611277 Very interested for more information. Dosage amounts aswell as how you function with day to day tasks. Working/driving/keeping your cool so people don't know your tripping. I love LSD as much as the next guy but I'd like some info
>>736611366 I've got a friend with bipolar disorder who functions kind of like that, but we somehow make it work, he accepts me for my way of being and I accept his. But he is rather good at verbalizing what is happening in him instead of just going with it, so we can kind of reason our way out things as they happen, with very few misunderstandings between us.
>>736611432 Yeah I agree.. I keep my borderline and other problems mainly to myself and close family and friends. I don't broadcast at all. Hell in the OP I only said BPD because when you start listing things people tend to say "this person is just showing their "accolades" of probably fake conditions" it's shitty but media has turned mental health into an accessory. It's awful. Hell even I assume people are faking when they post shit on facebook
Honestly I don't know what I have, maybe caused by lack of a father and being bullied. Anyway.
-keep 99% of my thoughts/emotions to myself -quick tempered -super unorganized (wont study for anything, no matter how much I want to succeed) -pretty forgetful -self conscious (walking alone makes me feel weird) (reason I'm a virgin, girls have asked me to hang out and I avoid them) -really good social skills in conversation but very shy -overly active sex drive -decently intelligent (understand things within seconds while it takes other people a longer time)
>>736611734 Yeah it's always nice when someone is able to explain what's going on. It's not always easy for sure but it's helpful for people to understand. Years of therapy makes you pretty good at talking about your feelings. Who would've guessed lol
>>736611997 Well it was certainly what enabled me to be more honest. Cognitive behavioral therapy and mindfulness meditation got me to a point, where I just openly share how I feel and people just relate to me easier.
>>736611987 Honestly you might find some info looking into bpd. My dickhead of a dad not being in my life is one of my problems. I'm not saying it's necessarily what you have but if you look at the background and info on what someone with bpd looks and acts like. You might notice that you fit the bill
Severe Depression Mania Psychotic Tendencies took medication for a long time but they didn't help. Started smoking marijuana to help with depression. Haven't needed the bullshit medication the doctors prescribed to me. Every once in awhile i get waves of depression but they don't last long.
>>736612138 People with bpd are amazing people to have to confide in about things. They're very emotionally invested in the friends they keep. Personally if I can help a friend figure out something going on in their life I love to help.
>>736612284 Yeah I can see how that would work. I just tend not to because I've already been burned twice. I can talk about it and give advice, but I don't really make a habit of getting emotionally vulnerable around people with bpd.
>>736611394 Honestly, if sucking Pepe's fat cock knocked out my depression, I'd even swallow. I had cycled through antidepressants for years trying to find one that didn't make me suicidal until I lost health insurance and found while I'm extremely depressed unmedicated I'm not suicidal.
>>736611680 10ug every 4th day. So 10ug, two days off and then repeat. I started with 20ug and I'd find myself either using the wrong words or not being able to remember what things are called. E.g. calling a truck a van, cat a dog etc. Dropping down to 10ug cleared that up completely. You don't really notice the dose otherwise, no hallucinations but I do find myself way more introspective since I've started. Also, much more mindful and aware of the world around me and how people perceive me.
The biggest plus side is every microdose day is a really good day, the next day is good, and then 3rd day is baseline but still no depression.
I dose by dissolving a 100ug tab (pictured) into a 100ml dropper bottle full of distilled water. 10ml=10ug. Makes it super easy to figure out your dose and be accurate.
Nobody notices my microdose days, my wife can tell when I'm on a baseline day sometimes because I'll get a little moodier.
>>736604339 same here. I have disabling social anxiety. My depression is so bad, I don't even want to get out of bed in the morning. I think about suicide probably a hundred times a day. I take paxil and klonopin. I recently started taking amitriptyline at night to help sleeping. I talk to my doctor about the depression and he has me taking welbutrin. I've taken it before and didn't see much results. when this first started I had severe paranoia and locked myself in my room for a week and my parents finally made me go to the doctor. The doctor told me that some day I would look back at the way I've acted and laugh about it. I've taken a number of anti psychotics, anti depressants, and benzos which I am now dependent because if I stop them I get withdrawal sickness. I'm still waiting to laugh
Hey /b/ros, Anon here. I am living with Schizoaffective disorder and take Risperdal, an antipsychotic, During the height of my psychosis I stayed up for 5 days straight and thought I was the pope. Ended up being hosiptalized and took a break from college during my sophmore year. Broke up with my gf who had undiagnosed BPD.
Anyways 3 years down the road to recovery here are some things I have found that helped me. First was getting a job to fill the void left by school. It is just a shitty dishwashing job but whatever it's alright. I also journal a bunch and keep track of my days and what I did in a small journal. It helps me remember stuff. Some other helpful stuff has been exercising and eating healthy.
Really one of the best things to help me was getting involved with the organization called NAMI ( National Alliance on Mental Illness). They are a grassroots family based organization that offers support groups and peer to peer classes to learn more about the various diseases. I took the training and became a mentor to lead the peer to peer classes as well as Connections, the more support based class. This opportunity has allowed me to meet other people with lived experience and to help others.
Helping with this organization has helped me realized that I want to do psychology and now I am back in school and set to graduate next year with a B.A. in psychology.
At this point I want to branch out and find more people my age living with mental illnesses and get them involved with going to groups or just having a social night once a month or something. Just getting people together to help each other on the path to recover would help everyone out.
If any of you guys have questions or comments feel free to leave them below. Peace.
Paranoid schizophrenic and depressed (uncertain whether depression comes from the schizophrenia or not). Been on meds but they made my episodes worse so stopped taking them years ago and working just fine in society.
>>736612820 Well I'm not gonna reject the notion of that ever happening, but it would be after the person spent enough time with me to get past my wariness. As I said earlier, I don't avoid people with this, I'm just cautious.
>>736612776 >getting involved with the organization I have trust issues with everyone. when I go to a mental health facility I'm on edge because I think someone is going to sneak up on me and inject me with a tranquilizer and I'm going to wake up strapped to a bed. Honest to god truth, I am ready to take a swing at anyone who gets within arms reach of me
>>736612776 I would love to be able to find some sort of chat room to have other people with bpd to talk to.. I'm glad things are looking up for you! I've noticed that for almost everyone. Adding structure to your day is a really powerful thing. Not taking over the world. Just small things that mean something to you.
>>736612663 Things will get better. I hate how that doctor talked down to you like that. As long as you keep trying, you're moving forward and taking steps in the right direction. The only thing that doesn't help is giving up and staying in the same spot.
>>736613050 >brag about it for cool points. nobody is bragging. It's a relief to tell someone, someone who actually knows, how you actually feel and it's anonymous and in the safety of my own home. You're a fucking cunt
>>736613050 Yes. That's why behind complete anonymous names we are having civilized conversation. No need to try to tear down others trying to help each other because you don't understand. It's just a bit edgy
>>736613050 Do you really think anyone wants to be labeled as having a mental illness. Commom... given the choice would you rather have people say you have a mental illness or that you are normal?? Everyone wants to be normal.
People like you are the reason why stigma exists against people like us.
>>736612585 Sorry for the late reply. I get all jumbled up trying to respond to everyone. I want to talk to everyone. I'd love to try that. Sadly LSD here in Maine is a little too expensive to be doing that lol
>>736613539 I'd love you if you could help me out.. I've had no luck in the past and I agree just talking like this is extremely helpful. I plan on starting more threads like this more often. I'm also happy to see whenever someone comes and tries to talk down to us multiple people are correcting them. It's very nice.
Most of you people aren't mentally ill. You've just been held back in life because you're not attractive to the opposite sex. You're boring and unremarkable, but have this notion that you're somehow special and should be achieving greatness.
The fact is you're probably ugly and don't wash enough. Unfortunately, professionals can't help that.
NB. bit of background so it makes sense -head on collision - we were going 85mph+ my friend was overtaking another car so we were on the wrong side of the road, other car going 60mph.
very violent experience, i had internal bleeding in 6 different places inc my bowels, abdomen, small intestine. The seatbelt tore my insides to pieces, it also broke 4 of my ribs and punctured my left lung so i felt like i was suffocating.
had to wait 1.5 hours for the ambulance and any painkillers and it was this period of time that definitely done the damage. I cant describe the pain i was in, curled up screaming/flailing it was brutal, kept losing consciousness too so thought i was dead every time.
i get flashbacks to this event, the muscles of my stomach tighten up and constrict in the areas that were hurt, i find it hard to breathe, it legit feels like its happening again and im dying again.
Also feel on edge all the time, a constant knot of anxiety in my chest, frighten easily, rarely eat, hard time getting to sleep and i always get nightmares with the sound of the crash and the feeling of cant breathe. These rather sudden changes to my life have left me rather depressed too
>>736613973 You, on the other hand - you could get therapy for being such a sad, angry, brittle little man that you're reduced to trying to get your kicks insulting complete strangers on an imageboard. Yet, you persist - are you yourself mentally ill? Or worse, are you someone that relishes in being a waste of life?
>>736614213 I can't even imagine how awful they must've been and must be to deal with all the time.. does it make getting around difficult? Fear of cars and whatnot? That sounds like an accident that I'd probably rather die it.. I hope that's not taken with offense. I just mean I imagine that's far worse than any physical pain I've ever felt.
Hardly a waste of a life. I'm a qualified accountant, my partner is a highly-qualified veterinary surgeon, we take 4 holidays a year, we live in a brand new 4-bedroom house, have 2 amazing dogs. I'm currently learning French in anticipated of a move to France, and I'm looking to double my salary before the end of the year.
Get out there and achieve something, you weird looking person.
>>736614484 Sorry I don't remember if you said or not. But are you in school for anything or what field do you work in. You seem like the kind of person who could probably do a lot of good in the mental health field.
>>736614018 This is correct. From experiece I was diagnosed with a mood disorder for not saying anything to anyone while I was in the hospital and just keeping everything inside. Couldnt explain how I was feeling to people and lost a sense of self.
For most other people the mood component refers to experiencing either manic or depressive tendencies.
>>736614807 I'm about to start an education as a Forest and Nature Technician. I've considered a career on that path, but I think the education for it would be too taxing on my stress. Besides getting a job doing manual labor in a green environment would help my mental disposition greatly. >>736614857 Fair point and right back at ya buddy.
Schizophrenia is a complex and highly individual illness, marked by positive and negative symptoms, for a period of years, that can't be attributed to any other cause (drugs, disease, damage).
Psychotic depression is depression - the withdrawal, lack of joy in life, blunted affect - but also with a real element of delirium. Depression can be bad enough, but it's worse when you can't think clearly or are hallucinating, or have false beliefs.
"schizoaffective" is a term used to describe schziophrenic-like symptoms, but it's most used to describe people who haven't experienced those symptoms long enough to be given a diagnosis of schizophrenia.
To be clear, schizophrenia is the shittiest diagnosis anyone can get mentally. The mortality rate, the prognosis, the recovery itself... they want to be sure when they tell you if it's Schizophrenia because it is a LIFETIME. it becomes part of who you are.
>>736613789 Still looking for the app. I have found it to be a little tough finding people my own age ( college age) that have been affected so I could meet and talk with them. The people in my peer to peer classes have all been older adults but that's ok.
>>736615034 Sounds like anxiety mate, go talk to your doctor about a referral to a cognitive behavioral therapist. They'll help you figure out what your brain is doing to you and give you tools to deal with it.
>>736615092 I'm not trying to patronise. I'm simply saying that we are having nice discussions and people have no idea about mental health are coming in here yelling and name calling... That shows a lot about your character.
>>736615138 Yeah, I grew up in the countryside, so nature has always had a calming effect on me. Doing a job like this also means I get the mental resources to be of help to my friends who live with problems like these, so I can still see myself being of help even though I don't choose it as a profession.
>>736603673 Type I Bipolar After making a suicide plan I decided to get help. Currently on tegretol and I guess it's working, really hard to tell. One day I'll believe I have the power to show everyone how miraculous it is that we are here at all and how much beauty there is to see and share, and then another day I'll believe that my fate is to never accomplish my dreams and the only thing in my future is loss and dissapointment so that the rational thing to do would be to end it now to prevent the future where I'm on my death bed unfulfilled, empty, and alone.
>>736615323 I envy that. Living in the city restricts my access to nature. Whenever I get out of town I usually go walking through the woods. The sounds of the animals and the trees and the smell of the air. The peace of it all is so amazingly therapeutic. I thought living in Maine would be all woods. Turns out there is quite a bit of city.
>>736615641 Bipolar and bpd are pretty similar. (People with bpd often get misdiagnosed with bipolar myself included) I know what you mean with the whole one day I feel great, next awful. Idk if it happens with you but I even notice some days I find myself to be "hot or attractive" and other days I think I might be the ugliest person in the world.
>>736615573 I like how you think me laughing at your bourgeois pretensions somehow boils down to "bitter and butthurt". I'm mirthful that you think waving your tiny middle class e-peen is going to somehow make us all jelly. I'm actually thankful - thankful, for example, that I'm not idolising about moving to a city full of obnoxious cunts, whose streets are thick with dog shit, bad drivers and the smell of piss.
You'll fit right in.
Also, I notice you said nothing about the fact you've clearly substituted children for dogs. Have fun when your wife goes looking for some fine Albanian Brown and spits out a child the colour of coffee! Biological clocks wait for no man, and women are most likely to conceive when they cheat. Tick tock, tick tock....
>>736615691 Well I'm lucky enough to live near a park that has enough trees for it to pretend to be a forest, if you squint your eyes and tilt your head a bit. So I can get my nature fix even though I'm living in the second largest city of my country. I'm really looking forward to starting in school again, it's going to be great to learn stuff again and work in a forrest.
>>736615673 >Is it that hard to believe some people don't want children? Bizarre.
Well some of us want a lasting legacy. You've obviously never thought about that, which is why you've become the most boring professional on the planet as well as the most replaceable. Accountants - calculators with halitosis and poor social skills as standard.
>>736615966 Learning and nature. Two amazing tool for mental health. Yeah I need to get into college. I'm 21 and just haven't had the financials to support myself in school. I would love to start learning again.
>>736614608 yeah it was pretty hard getting back into a car at first, got abit better with time. And nah haha i can understand that, definitely 10/10 on the pain chart nothing else has ever come above a 4. Its supposed to be a mortal wound for a human being though and had it been 50years ago i'd be dead. Kinda makes sense my brains a bit surprised its still alive
>>736616005 It's great to see us sticking together. I know there will always be ignorance and sometimes you just have to deal with it (especially on an image board where there is 0 possible repercussion.) But I'm glad people stand up for themselves
>>736616095 I just turned 30 the other day, I spent the last five years dealing with the fallout of a mental breakdown. Getting the help I needed and working towards being ready for school has been really rewarding for me. I'm sure you'll be able to do the same.
>>736616021 Look at that guy's post and tell me that latte sipping prick isn't planning on moving to outer Paris. Then fuck yourself for assuming your 3rd grade knowledge of geography should earn you praise.
>>736615840 yeah the attractiveness thing is weird. I was made fun of a lot as a kid and called skinny and stuff but as soon as I hit puberty and got my braces off people started treating me different, I think that's the basis for my flips with that. I just recently got the diagnosis so it's possible that it's not completely right. Tegretol is lowkey as hell I still get emotional about things but it's less 'all or nothing' I guess. If I get down on myself for one day now I can usually bounce back easier than before and I don't get quite as fatalistic.
>>736616095 While college is great it is not the only way to learn. I have found that the library has wonderful book on a range of subjects " Classics, transcendentalists, Hobbies like art, chess, drawing," Just find something that is interesting and that speaks to you and you are on the right path.
Shut the fuck up, you weak little baby fart. You know full well that shit is there for legal reasons. People can and do get arrested for crimes they were stupid enough to admit to here, do some fucking research.
>>736616189 No. Not "kids" you small minded buffoon. My legacy is that my genes will live on in the great unbroken chain of humanity that even today preserves fragments of Neanderthal DNA. You represent a genetic cul-de-sac. A dead end. Your legacy will be ashes in 50 years. In a century you will be nothing more than a name on a decaying headstone. I will live on in something greater than you show any ability to comprehend.
>>736616411 Yeah. Sadly the business world revolves around a very expensive piece of paper that "proves" your knowledge. So if I ever want to get into my field I need to go. I'd much rather learn on my own at my own pace.
Depression. Could be manic due to recent events. I was on larger and larger doses of prozac but then I took acid and stopped taking them cause they don't do anything for me. I think depressions pretty much it aside from minor niche personality disorders maybe
I have autism, depression, adhd, and anxiety. CBT in middle school pretty much cured the anxiety. The adhd caused me to underachieve and fall into a deep depression after I dropped out of the engineering program i busted my ass to get into.
Also lack of romantic relationships has been a big issue. At this point I have good hygiene and am attractive but I can barely talk to people nevermind women. Not that I am afraid of people, I am a car salesman.
But its more of a lack of interest in other people for anything other than sex.
I don't know, I want to go innawoods and try homesteading. That sounds calming.
>>736616805 >You have genes just like anyone else. I don't know why you're trying so hard to convince yourself you're special.
Again, you betray your ignorance and lack of understanding. Were you dropped on your head at birth?
My genes will contribute to the pool. You vasectomy loving fucks will not. The entire reason for your existence is self-perpetuating DNA as part of a larger species. It is why you were (I presume) born with genitals. You are supposed to contribute to your species, but no, you've fallen in love with your own ego.
I have no delusions. I am a face in the crowd. A link in a chain, no different from my father or his father before him. You are the one who clings to the hubris that you are somehow unique, that you have "something to offer the world". Bullshit, you're shitposting on 4chan. Where are the cancer cures? The immortal artwork? The flawless social cures? Even Hitler wrote a book, you layabout. You fail to live up to your own bullshit expectations.
>>736617364 Yeah we were talking about that before. The woods can be extremely helpful and therapeutic. I love the woods yet at the same time I feel like I'm going to be attacked by some sort of animal.
>>736617549 Computer Science. Have loved it since I was young. Have done a lot of learning on my own but would really love the benefit of a structured plan. Plus they provide resources I can't really find on my own.
>>736617487 Ha, its absolutely possible but you can take steps to prevent it. Firstly I would research local fauna and see what if any predators are in the area can harm humans. Most of the time you you have nothing to be worried about as animals are generally afraid of humans.
I would also more than likely be armed if I were to attempt to live away from civilization.
Pretty sure I might have bpd, although haven't seen a doc about it. Spent my teen years dealing with severe social anxiety and panic attacks particularly when conversing with groups of unfamiliar people or girls. Luckily I'm not ugly af and have always had good friends and girls have always been interested in me. In more recent times I've been able to fight the terrible feeling I often get in the lead up to a social event causing me to want to stay home alone much more easily. Probably partly due to substance abuse of alcohol, weed, mdma and acid over the years. But using the drugs to cope and mixing with different social groups and finally dating girls starting when I was 17 has put me in a much better place. I've dealt with pretty bad trust issues and still am. I've had a habit of checking girlfriends messages even though there's no good reason to suspect cheating. Finally acknowledging that it's unhealthy I've completely stopped. Now I just have to get better at dealing with my often intense emotional response to things. I often stay pretty quiet as I'm constantly in a battle within my own mind trying to deal with irrational emotion. But yeah things are looking up and I'm proud to say I've done it myself and with the help of close friends. Fuck those meds.
>>736617711 Here in Maine I think my only real worries are bears or moose... Probably unlikely but you know... I carry a good knife with me at all times to help with anxiety. It's pretty good. I'm definitely going to look into what actual things I should be worried about around here.. I assume it's probably not much.. there's nothing poisonous or venomous or anything around here.
>>736617562 I'm my own best help I guess, as long as I integrate good habits into my routine and continue to work on interesting things and keep my mind busy and engaged it works out for the most part. I have a pretty boring job currently (comfy but boring, not stimulating at all - fixing computers and phone screens) so I have to keep up my side projects and basically work on something everyday or else I feel like I'm wasting my time, which I've felt I've done a lot of already. If everything went according to my plan I'd be halfway through a phd by now, but life is messy so it's gonna be another 5-6 years for that. Also keeping in touch with people, that's pretty important for me too. I can very easily isolate myself to where I don't do anything outside of walk to work and go back home and not talk to anyone for months. I've done it multiple times and still am kind of doing that, so I try to call up some family or friends at least once a week now.
>>736617741 Probably them pushing anti psychotics onto you and maybe some mood stabilizer. If you don't like how something makes you feel. Tell them you don't want it. It's their job to find what works and fits for you. Those anti psychotics can make you sleep like crazy. And the mood stabilizers I've been on tend to have some nasty side effects. Lithium being the one that pops into mind. Though they don't prescribe that very often anymore. I don't suggest it. It's very strong
>>736617950 also I've been on tegretol for about 3 months and it's lowkey as hell. After hearing nothing but horror stories about meds I was reluctant, but I was breaking down and crying in public 2-3 times a week and had a suicide plan so I was willing to try anything. It's been weird because I can't really tell if it's even doing anything (which I guess is what the right meds are like?) but for the past few months I've only had 2 days that I've felt that crushing feeling of deterministic failure looming over me and feeling like a weak failure of a person. So I guess it's working, it might just be because it's summer though and I'm getting out a little more who knows haha
>>736617967 Extremely. I think the fear of them comes from one chasing my friend and I once. They don't keep chasing very long but damn are they big and scary.. hell sometimes I see them walking down busy streets. There's signs on the roads that say moose crossing on highways and in towns too. It's pretty funny to see
Severe Anxiety Disorder and Drug Induced Psychosis. Was diagnosed with both at 16, all i ever did up until that point was smoke street weed. Now taking another go at cannabis since it helped with my anxiety so much. Trying pure CBD, any other anons try this?
>>736617879 Nice, I'm in NH so I am pretty familiar with the area, I am also an eagle scout so I have done a lot of camping. You only really have to worry about black bears, coyotes, and, foxes. Luckily all of those species are timid around humans and will leave you alone if you secure your food supply. Maybe some bear spray too, but I have been camping for 15 years and have yet to see a black bear.
have major depressive disorder MDD always nervous throughout the day and have bad depressive and panic episodes most days. i've taken benzos for anxiety before like klonopin and xanax. and lorazepam and valium also took stuff like lexapro,zoloft,cymbalta,etc. for depression.i started medicating when i was about 9 yo for adhd. everything was fine started getting sad at 12/13 stopped adderall for adhd and got depressed and then my dr. gave me lexapro. then eventually when iwas 14 i started then benzos. that got me by till i was 17. then nothing worked. i took a 6 months break from all meds. started again, nothing helped. not even 10mg xanx didnt do shit like im totally resistant to benzos. (still am) flash forward to me, 20 yo. generally down all day. easily paniced . think about life after death all the time, i've been atheist for 7 years.have severe back pain. rod in femur and take pain killers for nerve damage. only thing that makes me slightly comfortable. used to like to smoke weed, but now it sometimes like 1/6 times will make me panic a little im currently getting hired for a job tomorrow at 10am though. hopefully it'll help me mentally. idk what i should do anymore
>>736618717 I suggest just trying it. Hey it can't do anything bad can it? Just remember yes there are good therapists. But there are also awful ones. It took me quite a few to find the one I now have had for almost 10 years.
>>736618322 yeah I've only stopped once and it was because I was on a trip and forgot it, and it was really weird. I was hanging with a friend at a park and I got a weird kind of social anxiety and all I wanted to talk about was shit like epistemology and philosophy and theories about the ultimate fate of the universe and how strange it is that life and conciousness exists at all and what our role is in the chain of life with relation to AI and shit. Then a couple guys left the group and one was smoking a cigarette and something about the image of him walking off and some music playing off in the distance made me tear up it looked so beautiful. Then I was walking with my friend on a sidewalk and I was weirded out about the cars passing by - they were so close and each one of them had people with lives in them and everything was so fragile it would just take one rolled ankle or slip up to shift over 3 feet to the left and be horribly mutiliated or killed. The sunlight and the city was so beautiful but suffering was right on my shoulder readily available by chance or choice. It scared me so much I felt like maybe it'd be better to just destroy awareness through dying, but everything was so beautiful too, it was a strange mixed state of everything being so beautiful and horrifying that I couldn't decide if I should laugh and cry tears of joy or scream and crush my skull under the tire of a truck So I got back on my meds and now I'm back to manageable hypomania and dysthemia haha
>>736618850 Definitely bipolar lol. Yeah anyone I know who thinks "this shit isn't working" I always tell them not to just stop and talk to their doctor first before they stop a medication... It almost always ends bad.
>>736619134 yeah it was an interesting experience, I try to encourage people to try meds too if they are struggling. It's a treatment plan for you and you are in charge, if you don't like it then communicate with your psychiatrist that you want to stop the medication they aren't going to force you to just keep taking something that is making you feel horrible
>>736619585 >OCD >4.0 GPA mech engineering Strengths and weaknesses are paired together haha I like hearing about others who's brains are falling apart yet they still keep a life together, good for you anon I'm proud. Keep going I believe at you
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