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ITT: We share secrets

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 280
Thread images: 43

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ITT: We share secrets
>>
>>736554211
my friends fonger tried to drive me into my mothers back
>>
>>736554297
That's some dark shit.
>>
I had sex with Juliana Harkavy (she's an actress, IMDB her) years ago.
>>
I arranged for my good friend to fuck my hot mom
>>
don't tell anyone, but i'm black
>>
>>736555205
OH MY GOD! A NEGRO ON THE INTERNET!? WE TRULY ARE LIVING IN THE END TIMES!
>>
My cousin's half sister is crushing on me and it kinda creeps me out considering she's four years older than me and this has been going on since I was twelve.
>>
I framed a 'friend' of mine who's not really a friend more like a fat faggot who I've had association with for burglary.
>>
>>736554552
How was it? She's cute! Did she tongue your asshole?
>>
>>736555582
How much was stolen? What was the aftermath?
>>
>>736555462
Faggot
>>
>>736555901
What's faggoty about that, Anon?
>>
>>736555708
No rimming brah, sorry to disappoint. But she can suck cock like a motherfucker, hope her hubby's enjoying that.
>>
>>736555973
It's only gay if anon is a female.
>>
>>736554211
I found out that my son was with my former wife and I was happy about it because it invalidated the infidelity clause
>>
>>736556034
Nope, sorry to disappoint.
>>
>>736554211
i haven't had sex in 5 years :(
>>
I might be gay... I hope my gf won't mind
>>
>>736556158
Is you're...ex-wife the mother?
>>736556183
So...no, this is NOT gay.
>>
My girlfriend is cheating on me. I've been thinking about cheating on her with a coworker and then leaving
>>
>>736556413
Yeah exactly, I assume he just said faggot because /b/ yknow.
>>
>>736556413
She is.
>>
>>736554211
I've raped 3 collage aged women.
2 drunk, one forced.
>>
>>736556837
so, you've only raped 1 girl
>>
>>736556949
it sounds cooler when I say 3
>>
I'm a Supernatural fan who's dreading the Wayward Sisters spinoff because I'm afraid that instead of a story of any kind it'll be this pop feminism garbage a la Supergirl season 1.
>>
I spend a lot of money on hookers or sexual massage parlors :)
>>
I'm sick and tired of PG-13 summer horror flicks. Like fuuuck dude, with the success of Deadpool as an R rated movie and you faggots are still doing this? The hell?
>>
Been fucking a girl since she was 14. She's turning 19 soon. My wife hooked us up. She is to be my second wife soon. This will continue till I have 5-6 wives. Got to ensure my genes get passed on.
>>
I had a sexual affair with my neighbor. She was about 30 at the time and I was 17, we've been on and off fuck buddies since.
>>
The guy who fell off the hotel balcony and survived has no idea it was me who pushed him and I'm very angry that he's still breathing.
>>
>>736559794
How did it happen
>>
>>736560115
We first hooked up at a fourth of July party when I was hanging out inside her house where she was hosting, we kinda talked back and forth at first and I noticed she was very much being flirtatious and I just wanted a piece of that ass.

She /very/ much helped me through years of sexual frustration.
>>
Ejaculation for me precedes a short period of absolute depression and rage. I hear about this afterglow but I have never felt it. The darkness and anger is often so overwhelming that I am afraid I will hurt my gf. Please anons tell me I am not crazy.
>>
>>736560803
You should get some help my nigga.
>>
>>736554211
I faked my death and moved to mexico... i wanted a new life but im really star to feeling death. Like a ghost
>>
>>736557937
Have not seen deadpool nor will I. Fuck Ryan Reynolds and fuck superhero movies. U faggot
>>
>I kissed a girl and I liked it
>The taste of her cherry chap stick
>I kissed a girl just to try it
>I hope my boyfriend don't mind it
>It felt so wrong
>It felt so right
>Don't mean I'm in love tonight
>I kissed a girl and I liked it
>I liked it
>>
I secretly want to die
>>
>>736561021
Then why did you bother responding to his post at all?
>>736561060
Neat
>>
I fucked my best friend's girlfriend for a couple of months, who also happens to be my gf's sister.
>>
had been raped/used call it as you want by and underage girls when i was 20.. dont remember match. Never told anyone because was scared i will have problems because of that
>>
>>736561370
Who's a better fuck, your gf or her sister?
>>
>>736560955
That's what I'm afraid of. I have heard that lots of guys cry after they come. This would make my feelings kind of normal. I have never been abused and I'm pretty vanilla in bed. It's like ther are two men's and after I come the bad me is allowed to the surface and he wants to kill.
>>
>>736561432

You know, I've been thinking about it ever since it happened. Hard to decide, for some reason. It felt like GF had a tighter pussy, but the sister did dirty talk better or made out better. Felt like she was sluttier?? Not sure, there's always the factor that because it was an affair, it made it more exciting. In the end, both make for a good fuck!
>>
Girl I knew since second grade fisted me on our first date. We were together for 3 years after that. There is nothing we didn't do sexually, except shit. No scat fetish. Best part, her father is the owner of a mega church in our area. He has no idea how evil his little angel really is.
>>
Everything I post is a lie.
>>
I blow my gf's brother and his friends on a regular basis.
>>
Russia hacked the election.
>>
Writing is pretty much the only thing I've ever been good at. Ever since high school, teachers would tell me I'm the best student/writer even when I would put minimal effort in the advanced English courses, and pretty much every professor I've had in uni so far has praised my writing. Receiving praise like that is one of the few things that has kept me from killing myself. Also I write shipping fanfiction.
I've been mocked by girls since elementary school and now I'm deathly afraid of women and can barley make eye contact with them without the help of paxil. You would have to put a gun to my head to even make me consider asking one out.
Batman versus Superman is unironically my favorite movie. Watching it is insanely cathartic.
I'm staying up all night in order to study for a Spanish test I have tomorrow, but I'm still procrastinating.
>>
I suffer from depression and suicidal thoughts but I cannot get help becuase of the career field I am going into :/
>>
>>736563102
What field is that bro?? Don't kill yourself.
>>
>>736561205

Join a club nigga

Seriously
>>
>>736563001
You should consider writing short stories on /r/writingprompts on reddit. The place is friendly and you will be able to share your work, if your into that
>>
>>736563001
"put FORTH minimal effort"

Fucking retard.
>>
>>736554211

I still play neopets
>>
>>736563194
Aviation, ive been accepted to a college and I leave in two moths. Also two weeks ago I got my private pilots lisence and getting help would duck me becuase of how much time amd money I have imvested so far
>>
>>736554211
Currently crushing hard on this 8/10 chick, gonna try and bone. She's a jew (and I like it).
>>
>>736561759
maybe be more aggressive with her in bed. Fuck her hardcore as if ur hatefucking her. That should give angry man some peace.
>>
>>736563554
We get it Dave Franco, you can fuck Alison Brie anytime, just post your wife's nudes faggot.
>>
Italians are the best qts.
>>
My friend used to show me pics of his wife. We hooked up about a year back. Now she sends me pics.
>>
>>736562918
Tell us something we didn't already know Comey.
>>
>>736556649
Jesus Cristus
>>
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>>736563303
newfag from reddit

>>736563364
oldfag from 9gag
>>736554297
oldfag
>>
En este momento me estoy metiendo los dedos en el culo
>>
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I sucked my cousins cock 2 times when he was asleep
Pic related
>>
>>736563478
Self medicate bro. You know I do.
>>
>>736564084
Reddit fag here, ive been here a while not to much of a newfag just not old fag
>>
>>736564176
What's it like being a fag?
>>
>>736564184
How would I go about doing that, I can take anything that will show up on drug tests
>>
everytime ive had sex ive committed statutory rape
>>
Hoy mate una persona por que me debía plata, le corte la garganta con un cuchillo
>>
>>736564385
White girl only stays in your system for 3 days. 5 if you're a heavy user. You should be able to clear out. Just dose as necessary. I've been getting away with it at my job, which ransoms, for years.
>>
>>736564527
It's sad that my dad is straight from Mexico but I still need someone to translate this.
>>
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I regularly cheat on my military husband with Andy Sixx's warm, creamy, steamy, and oh so dreamy logs of shit. Feels so good slidding down my throat in the Georgia heat.

I also let my nieces shower with Andys warm logs. Nothing sexual, the parents know about it and are cool with it.
>>
don't tell anyone /b/, but believe it or not, I am Spartacus
>>
>>736564352
Easier than I thought.

I still dont like men besides him. Incest just turns me on.

I want him to bang me but I dont know how to tell him.
>>
>>736555118
story?
>>
>>736564527
Dayum man.
>>
>>736564632
He says he killed a man who owed him money.
>>
Today I killed a person because he owed me money.
Cut his throat with a knife
>>
my sister gave me her virginity when she was 13.
>>
>>736564816
Oh ok so like typical spic, gotcha.
>>
>>736563773
Well, I'm not him... but the chick looks like Alison Brie with freckles...
>>
Just showered with my niece to save water. Her parents won't be home until late June.
>>
>>736564632

He said today he killed somebody because the person owed him money. He cut his throat with a knife. (assuming it's a man)
>>
>>736554211
I once shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die.
>>
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>>736564648
>>736564648
>>736564648
>>736564648
>>
use el traductor de google
>>
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>>736558529
how did you convince the wife to take in others?

>inb4 just be chad
>>
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>>736564084
oldfag - the autistic, aloof one that immediately hits a secrets thread with mom fonger car - needs the recurring themes. This was the time that nobody on 4chan had ever had a gf. These were the glory days of weirdos that made /b/ a haven.

oldfag from 9gag - the OG cancer that took /b/ from weird to caustic. It was a fun time, full of lulz at others' expense. The days of dox.

newfag from reddit - the fullblown aids that brought wwyd, cuck, gf exposed, banana, and niggers to 4chan.

cancer didn't kill 4chan.
4chan already had cancer, when the 9gag cancer came, 4chan just assimilated with it dawson's creek trapper keeper style.

it was reddit that killed trapper keeper.

never furget 4000000 get.
>>
I fucking LOVE Train.
>>
Soy de pais Argentina,
provincia de Santa fe,
Ciudad de Rosario.
>>
>>736565004
Go home johnny. You're drunk.
>>
>>736564527
>>736564632

its called "Plata" (silver= money)in South America, so anon must be south american, not mexican.
>>
>>736564557
I might try it but I do, white girl is coke right
>>
>>736564729
"Hey cousin, wanna rawdog my faggot asshole??"

So easy.
>>
plata = dinero
Droga = drug = falopa
>>
>>736565325
I was saying how I don't understand the language at all, dude.
>>
>>736561021
Fucking THIS!
>>
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>>736565428
might be a little more difficult than that.
Even when drunk or something.
>>
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>>736565182

The transportation, lining up outside a room at the Best Western or that shitty band?
>>
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>>736565513
En Colombia se dicen "lukas"
>>
>>736565352
You do what? Yeah it is. I've literally been snorting blow since I was 15, ten years now, never been caught. Just gotta play it smart. I also have a decent life, I make $41,000 a year after taxes, I'm not rich, but I'm not in poverty by any means. Play it safe, and you'll be able to get away with it and be a little bit less miserable. Just don't turn it into a $1000 a week habit. Keep it low, around $1000 a month, and you should be good, if you're into it.
>>
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>>736564862
bye you fucking idiot
>>
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>>736564927
>>736564927
>>
I make out with my 6yr old niece when Im drunk.
>>
>>736565586
Then let him catch you naked with a hard on.
I managed to fuck a housekeeping lady lady that. Should work the same with a cousin.
>>
>>736565703

He's from Rosario Argentina. Not the USA.

>btw, Messi is also from Rosario.
>>
>>736565607
Hey, Train is a great band if you're high.
>>
I wet the bed till I was like 7
>>
>>736564469
Ages of you and them?
>>
>>736556524
leave her first. if you cheat on her back youre just as shitty as she is anon. At least have moral superiority over her so when she texts you again she wont hit you with that shit
>>
I've hooked up with a friend's mom a few times.
>>
mi hermana , 13 años
quieren. fotos desnudas
>>
>>736565780
He is straight I know he has some weird stuff he likes but Its a big stretch to just bang a dude let alone bang you male cousin
>>
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>>736565777
>6yr old
>>
I once moved an object with my mind, but it was so much effort and I feared people would kill me so I stopped trying.
>>
>>736556524
Do it? She deserves it mate
>>
>>736566139
Hi, what's the situation?
>>
>>736566139
>mi hermana , 13 años

mentiras. esa tipa tiene por lo menos 20.¿porque mientes en la internet tio?
>>
My whole neighborhood heard a strange whining/screaming sound a few weeks back. There were dogs barking afterwards and we've yet to have been able to find the source.
>>
>>736561759
how often to you jerk off anon, that might have something to do with it?
>>
>>736566139
Mas
>>
>>736566312

aliens of course.
>>
I'm in love with another woman
>>
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>>736566305
Segundo
Por hay es la madre
>>
>>736563478
Is it wise to be responsible for lives in your state?
>>
>>736566443
>Por hay es la madre

cierto. si vos miras su cara la tiene igual que el niño.
>>
>>736566424
Thanks Giorgio.
>>
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tiene 13 años
>>
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i sniff my friends gf panties and cum in them, cum on her toothbrush too, i piss in her shampoo stuff also
>>
>>736566576
¿Qué está ocurriendo aquí?, por favor levanta las manos
>>
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>>736566576

si, y yo tengo 21 anon.
>>
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>>
My brother started to sexually abuse me when I was 7, and hasn't stopped. I am 16 now.
>>
Hello ladies 'n Gentlemen my name is Brett Keane from GodTVRadio, be sure to check out my gaming channel, GamesULove as well and if you wanna show some love to the Keane family there's a link to my paypal in the description or become a patreorn.
>>
>>736566436
Who? My mom?
>>
The South Park underpants gnomes are living in my pockets :(
>>
>>736566808
Fucking hot! How old is he
>>
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>>736566808

esto es bait.
>>
>>736566899
Cool beans.
>>
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Ahora.
>>
i have trouble being attached to any girls since my first love, i broke up with her because i couldn't do long distance, and still long distance is shitty and i wouldn't want to do it.

every girl i hook up with is trying to start a relationship and i break their hearts everytime when i'm not interested
>>
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i was made watch as 3 guy's raped my gf on a vacation
>>
>>736567149
story
>>
>>736566778
mas negrito
>>
>>736554211
I let my dog lick my dick. He fucking loves it
>>
>>736556837
Green text the forced one
>>
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>>736567255
>>736567255
>>736567255
>>
>>736560963
why fake your death?
>>
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>>736567246
Alguien sabe que paso con hispa
>>
I know who did and didn't die in the Arrow finale.
>>
>>736556524
yeah just leave her, don't even bother with letting her know you know (unless she already knows you're aware). just walk out on her man, then you're free to fuck whoever you want anyway.
>>
>>736567331
no se, no habia tratado de entrar, esta caida.
>>
>>736565694
I meant I might, idk but autocorrect is a cunt sometimes
>>
I have a great girlfriend but we almost never have sex any more and another female on facebook keeps posting really sexual thing. She not that hot but i bet i could throat fuck her and i really want too, my gf isnt into that. And ive been thinking about doing it more and more though i never have cheated on her and would feel bad cause my gf is hotter than the other girl. What do
>>
>>736561370
Why did you end it?
>>
>>736567415
>>736567331

hispachan es una mierda de censura y autoritarismo. 10 veces peor que 4chan. espero y se quede muerto.
>>
>>736567523
throatfuck your gf during a bj
>>
>>736566875
Someone I've known for a long time and recently contacted. I'm in a relationship rn
>>
matala
>>
I've gathered enough evidence to bring down every corrupt politician in my entire city and links to their endeavors in organized crime.
>>
>>736564176
G R E E N T E X T
R
E
E
N
T
E
X
T
>>
>>736567632
lmao
of course
>>736567415
Desde hace 1 hora
>>
elegi una de las dos y a la otra ahorcala cuando se la estas metiendo
>>
la primera vez que me vine dentro de ella tenia 13 años.
>>
>>736567723
Are you a lawyer willing to die for a cause or are you Batman?
>>
>>736566184
slap the faggot out of you, faggot
>>
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My parents disowned me when I was 19 because I chose to transition mtf instead of stick to their great plans for me.

My mother neglected and showed a bit of resent towards me as a kid, and my dad never told me anything about his life past age 13. I didn't find out that my mom was his second wife until I was 17, and I still don't know why he left her or why he hasn't left my mom yet.

I'm afraid to trust anyone and don't know how to keep friends. I don't know what a loving relationship looks like.
>>
So I had this crush on this girl freshman year, being the beta fag I am I did absolutely nothing. Next year find out she has a BF and come up with a fucked up plan. For the entire first quarter of the year I would slander her name on random boards and walls through out the school. It's a private school so it's a bigger deal to see stuff like that.
>>
>>736565018
>>736564648

Samefag. Take your shit posting off /b/.
>>
Years ago, I met my current best bro on here. Ever since, I've given him info on my GFs; things they like, things they dislike, hobbies, etc. I send him texts when they going to be places, and coaching him on how to talk to them, etc. The girls never know he and I are friends. The two of us have mutually banged 4 different girls.
>>
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>>736568050

te equivocas anon.
>>
>>736561021
Agreed, fuck superhero movies.
>>
I don't care what I have to do, I just want them to stop making these stupid ass fucking Transformers movies.
>>
I've had headlice for 16 years
>>
>>736554211
Im a decent looking guy (7-8/10) who havent had sex in 8 years now, due to having a micropenis (3.5 inches).
Im not even asian so i cant explain it, it doesnt help that im relatively tall either (6.2 feet)
>>
>>736568032
Good luck with one of the worst mental disabilities out there. If you decide to take your own life, make sure it's because you can't take it anymore, not because of being bullied. That said, most candidate friends just like interesting and genuine people, so developing personality traits that don't revolve around your transsexuality should be your first goal if you want to try.
>>
>>736556524
why not just fuck 2 bitches since your relationship is a relationshit?

2 vaginas= same amount of effort
once she finds out you get revenge and a 2nd vagina..

its a win !
>>
Noone asked but fuck it i will tell my story.. Never told it to anyone because i was afriad but hell with it. I was on vacation in hotel resort which pn the back of it had a big club just on the beach. Very popular place in the region. I was drinking with entertainers(the one that do sport activities in the hotel) at the bar and after couple of hours i felt sick.. today i think it was some kind of drug in the drink buti will never be sure. I went from the bar without saying bye to anyone straight on the beach. I was very dizzy, sleepy and tired so i found some beachbed and felt asleep on it. I remember only that some girls from hotel found me and were siting on the bed next to it and drinking, chatting. I new them because they were all the time running around me as in firs love (probably 14-15?). I remember that they took my swiming shorts after a while and started to take pictures. I was probably drugged so could not do anything really. I only remember that onee fucked me when two were holding my hands and saying to shut up.. i was 20 and believe it or not that was rape
>>
>>736568737

post penis. i want to see it.
>>
>>736564648
I hate this meme but I love the jab at the one guy who always posts the same shit about showering with his niece.
>>
i love wearing womens lingerie and feeling like a total slut...
>>
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>>736569073
>>736569073
>>736569073
>>
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>>736568032
I feel like you want something to be wrong with you. What does it matter if you don't know anything about your parents? It shouldn't effect who you are at all.
Love comes from within. You cannot love another person if you don't love yourself. What does loving yourself look like?
>>
I have a woman that most of you would find to be the "dream" girl

>model
>quirky & cute
>lets me fuck other women
>stays loyal to me
>finds partners for FFM 3ways
>loves me to end
>bought me a plane ticket to Europe last month because she knew it would make me happy

Yet... I abuse her.

Sometimes I feel like I hate her. She has never even wronged me. Not once. I bring up her past, I feel jealousy when she even talks to another guy...

Shieeet
>>
Romain Reigns is gonna turn heel at GBOF.

Brock Lesnar won't be dropping the title until Survivor Series.
>>
>>736569154

post pic of girl.
>>
I fap to a family members Fcb pics way too often
>>
I'm dating my first cousin.
>>
>>736569133
straight by day... fag by night. everyones got something
>>
>>736568917
Where they good looking?
>>
>>736569300
Found the one guy who voted for trump
>>
I've sent death threats to the actor who plays Meaty Meaty Moo, I can't fucking stand Meaty and I think he drags the show down.
>>
>>736569382
>everyones got something

very agreed. sometimes i wonder if life would be easier for everyone if everyone knew what other people liked. maybe less judgement?
>>
>>736566139
Pasa mas puto
>>
>>736566576
Quiero maa
>>
>>736555118
>>736564736
Yeah, what are the details with this fucking story? How long ago was this? Is your mom still hot? Was your mom married? And why did you choose the friend you chose?

And did your friend tell you details about it afterward?
>>
>>736563478
Heakey??
>>
>>736566778
Cual es tu kik?
>>
>>736569932
>>736569595
Samefag
A lo bien, ni que estuviera 10/10
>>
>>736569393
not ugly for sure but still concider kids.. Worse was that last week i had to pretend i dont remember anything because i was really scared of the situation and they were just laughing to eachother all the time etc. I woke up naked on the beach and they took my swim shorts that they gave me later at the hotel laughing that i forgot it. I just said something like "i must left it after swiming in the ocean" pretending i dont remember anything
>>
>>736569154
fuck you!
>>
I fap with my nieces panties
>>
>>736570420
story?
>>
>>736570500
Grabbed 2 pairs from her drawer last get together. She's 20
>>
>>736570142
ACM1PT
>>
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>>736570685
what's her size and build type?
>>
>>736554211

My news year resolution is to suck off 50 guys.
I am now up to 13 after sucking off 2 guys last night.

I'm a guy by the way.
>>
I clapped to cover up my coughing between slow movements at a classical concert.
>>
>>736570225
why didn't you invite htem up to your room for a fuckfest?
>>
>>736571035
5'6 petite amazing ass
>>
my aunt once watched me jack off
>>
>>736571264
u clearly dont know what rape is and how u feel after it.. and they were underage so i was scared that they can say whatever against me.. and the pictures also
>>
I've masturbated in a YMCA shower several times.
>>
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>>736571542
>>736571067
>>736569974

We're going to need some greentext.
>>
Sometimes when my nephews stay at my place I let them shower with me and my gf so they can see her naked. Their parents are conservative jesusfags so they are pretty sheltered from reality especially when it comes to nudity/sex stuff.
>>
When I sleep at my friends and his sister is out for the night, when everyone is asleep I go into her room and put on her thongs to fap with
>>
>>736571982
How old are they?
>>
>>736567149
story
>>
>>736571747
>why?
>>
>>736572150
8 and almost 10. There's no issue with me and them, but their parents would definitely not be ok with her joining us.
>>
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>>736554211
I feel empty and disconnected from everything.
>>
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>>736572340
>nepalese rug naming forum needs details to survive
>>
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>>736554211
>>
>>736572371
Is it just for education or is there a slight sexual component in doing it? I'm surprised your gf would be ok with it unless it arouses her some.
>>
I tried to molest my friend's 6 y/o cousin when I was 13... gave up on the last second. I could actually have got in trouble because of this since her mom was really close by...
>>
Im in love of the girl i lost my virginity to.

We haven't talked in 9 years, she doesn't even know i exist anymore and the only things i know about her are because i've been spending the last decade stalking her.
She is married now and has 2 kids.
>>
>>736554211
At crowded bars I purposely rub my dick on girls asses and hands when I'm walking through
>>
>>736572932
Nah. mostly just education/exposure to reality. Pretty sure they had never seen a naked girl up close irl before. My gf isnt very modest about nudity, she doesnt care if they just stare at her the whole time, which they pretty much do. the whole thing probably sounds weird to most normal people, hence why it's a secret.
>>
>>736554211
Went to a party at my sisters place. Got too drunk. Sister put me to bed in the guest room. Woke up with my equally drunk half naked neice. Felt her up. It was awesome.
>>
>>736573498
You realize they will probably masturbate to these memories later right?
I'd put money at some point one of them asks if they can touch out of curiosity. Then what will you do?
>>
>>736573726
I would have pulled her pants off and fapped to her in bed
>>
When I used to babysit my cousin when she was little, I'd usually molest her when she slept
I can cont if /b/ anon ask
>>
>>736566317
Agreed. This can drop your hormones super low if you jack off too much. I kind of had this issue, but I was also smoking weed. Me and weed do not mix, I feel depressed the next day.
>>
a list, not a story

>force-fucked first girlfriend's ass while doggystyle after months of her objecting to it, i "slipped" and kept going when she clearly liked it, was always a super wet girl and fingers proved ass wasn't too tight, so i knew no lube would be no problem
>fucked a 10/10 eastern european hooker in a western european brothel, pretty sure she was slightly underage, still fap to the entire memory of this event
>have fucked several women that were in relationships, i'd feel worse if i didn't get incredibly turned on by fucking taken women, it's a borderline fetish
>i helped friends hook up with taken women when i wasn't interested
>stolen 10s of thousands of dollars in equipment from various workplaces to sell for the cash, seriously so fucking easy compared to embezzling cash, with no paper trail on the company-to-thief end
>cheated through about half (conservative estimate) of my BS degree
>have blackmailed a few different supervisors/managers/etc., never asked for anything directly, more of a "you know that i know" type of situation so i don't have to deal with ego swinging and office politics while still getting great reviews for being mediocre, many instances had to do with infidelity
>can barely stand to be in the same room as my current girlfriend of several years but our finances have become too tied together, going to take a couple years to get away clean; she's dumb as hell (seriously has problems with middle-school-level math, science, social studies, and logic issues), is TERRIBLE with money (probably related to the previous point), getting fatter every month, rambles into incoherent tangents for even the shortest of stories/conversations, starts multiple home improvement projects before completing even one, has begun to use a whining tone almost every time she speaks; holy fuck i needed to get that off my chest
>pretty sure my mother is aging into dementia, but i really don't give a fuck, she's the textbook definition of emotionally abusive
>>
>>736573726
She was wearing a tshirt and panties.
>>
>>736574071
Why didn't you fap? I would have taken a 1000 pics and fapped. What kind of panties?
>>
>>736573923
Plz cont, fbi-chan
>>
>>736573854
I hope they do fap for many years about her. If they want to touch it that's her call, but im sure she would be fine with it. I think they are still a bit shy to ask to touch it
>>
No one is posting in the new one someone attempted so i am gonna repost here

Story time? Story time.

>be me 1year ago
>out on roof porch smoking a cig at 2am during a winter night
>see backyard gate open
>my brother and some girl walking to our back door to house
>brother reaches under tree and hits girl really hard with something
>drags her down to our basement
>I put cig out and quietly make way to basement
>sit next to basement door for about 20 minutes
>hear brother threatening to kill girl if she screams
>hear him moaning
>close door as quiet as a mouse
>sneak up stairs
>lay in bed
>wait to hear front door open/close
>call police 1hr later
>call in a rape
>got my brother arrested for raping a 17 year old girl when he was 20
>he has 8 years in prison
>I am the reason my brother is in prison
>mixture of sadness/happiness
>family doesn't know I ruined their #1 child
>MFW I am #1 child now
>>
>>736574071
Kinda taupe. I squeezed her ass and titties and rubbed my half a hard on between her bum cheeks. Fucking heaven.
>>
My name is OP I like to shitpost the same thread 24/7 and one isn't good enough
>>
>>736574401
not op here, i start these threads daily as well.
>>
I exposed my 10 year old nephew to this site and infinitychan. I made sure to call it retarded, to discourage him
>>
>>736574361
good for you anon. your brothers a fuckin scumshit
>>
>>736574190
If you say so
>2003 I'm 16 cousin is 6
> I babysat her till she was 9
>Always been really close loved to stay up late and watch movies and play with her toys.
>Usually when she goes to sleep it's really hard to wake her, so I start investigating her. Pull up her skirts, cup ass, check if pussy is starting to mature
>I eventually escalate to kissing her and licking. Sucking my fingers and rubbing her ass crack
>Start jerking off while touching her. One night decide it's time to go in.
>Bring lube and moisture hands, slowly finger her ass and pussy. Tightest I've ever been in
>Jerk off and when I cum I go for her pussy. Wipe her clean, try to get some inside
>Stop babysitting her when she's 9, still see each other today. Everything she knows about sex she learned from me.
>>
>>736574799
thats like telling kids not to do drugs because they arent fun or dont have sex because it's dangerous...
>>
I had a friend sister visit in college. When she would fall asleep id take her blanket off and lower her sweats. Fap and put pre on her lips and thighs
>>
>>736574948
>put pre on her lips and thighs
where the fuck did u get Steve Prefontaine????
>>
I hooked up with my professor in my last year of college. Got an A in her class, but I had the highest grade before it even happened.
>>
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>>736575059
>>
>>736574061
here's some more

>at about 8yo in a home daycare, ran a train (as much as one can at that age) on a girl my age with two other boys my age, was hot and all parties enjoyed it, still fap to the memory
>broke into a neighbors house with a friend when I was about 11, didn't take much, just some stuff we knew wouldn't be missed, he was a drunk anyway
>speaking of drunk, in my early 20s i drove long distances at night, sometimes with passengers, while almost or totally blackout drunk
>i will go out of my way to not help people with small yipping dogs because i can't stand those useless annoying abominations
>speaking of small abominations, i really do pity manlets, but d-bag manlets i can't stand, i've done terrible things to them
>>
>>736554211
I started a betting pool about my sexual orientation in high school between 7 or so friends. The pool reached 400 dollars by the end of the year.
>>
>>736575072
wonder if she would have failed u if the sex was bad...
>>
>>736575182
I doubt it-- if, for only the fact that she would get in trouble if I reported her.
>>
I am a panty thief. I have a pair of every hot girl I've ever been friends with. Cousins, friends mom's, strangers I can't stop
>>
>>736575345
she would just say you raped her. jury wouldnt even need to deliberate before locking u up for 30 years.
>>
>>736575510
I suppose that could be a possibility
>>
>>736575675
bitches are crazy
>>
>be 19
>senior year
>kinda awkward
>5/10
>no date for senior prom
>3rd period
>English class
>sit across from 8/10
>kinda desperate
>fuck it I'll ask
>sperg out
>doyouwannagotopromwithme
>she waits
>looks back at her friends
>smiles
>"sure why not"
>later that day
>Chad comes up to me
>"hearx your going to prom with anonette?"
>blush and turn away
>he pats me on the back
>get home
>can't contain exitement
>mom asks
>I tell her
>she says typical mom shit
>the day comes
> waiting at me house
>10 minutes pass
>20 minutes pass
>1 hour
>now I'm pissed
>practically yell at my mom to drive me there
>get there
>shes with Chad
>go up to her
>pull her aside
>WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON
>"I though it would be funny"
>get on me knees
>YOU PLAYED MY DAMN FIDDLE
>>
There was a frog infestation in the garage and my sister thinks I put stuff out here to scare them off but really I purged the fuck out of them with a screwdriver and had a lot of fun doing it. Im talking like 50 frogs within two hours. They dont come in here anymore
>>
>>736575902
You're a fucking american hero
Someone get this anon a beer
>>
>>736575902
did u sell the dead ones to niggers? niggers love frog legs and shit
>>
Ember is also my waifu
>>
Be me @17, little sisters babysitter was friend of my mom. She was in her 30's. One night she had me come over late, she was chugging wine and wearing a nightgown. Started making out, dick was diamonds ready to fuck...She's riding me on her couch and she freaked out when I went to pull the straps of the nightgown down to suck on her tits. Long story short she had one tit burned as a kid, looked like Freddy Kruegers nutsack. ...I still blew a load in her with the force of a thousand suns.
>>
>>736555205
Nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger ( not really I love the black folk just not niggers.)
>>
When I was 14 my neighbour (female 32yo, short dumpy massive tits and ass) would let me swim in their pool. She would always join me and swim topless I got to feel them and suck one when she had a bit too much wine one arvo. I always kept her glass topped up just incase she would pass out or get horny. Ever happens again tho.
>>
>>736564888
Story Mr.Trips
>>
My boss is about 45 and gay (but very straight acting) he lets me be a lazy shitty employee and take what ever I want (game /pop cloture store) and all I gotta do is let him blow me and every now and then Fuck him. I'm straight, but it's a pretty sweet deal.
>>
My mom and step dad adopted a 14 yo chick, I'm 30. Ever since she got home she's always flirting with me and slyly flashes me every now and then. I aint even mad.
>>
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>>736575902
can someone meme this asap?

>5 panels
>kid says he's going out to the garage to see what's the deal with all the frogs
>???
>grabs screwdriver, goes on rampage for TWO HOURS
>frog pieces everywhere, no witnesses
>sister asks about frog situation
>kid memes reverse frog bait into reality
>>
>>736577075
Fuck her, live to tell the tale
>>
>>736564888
Details. We need details
>>
>>736565777
I'll believe it because of trips, but never lie again
>>
>>736579343
>>736578758
>>736578097

keep going!
>>
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>>736575059
>bumping for interest
Thread posts: 280
Thread images: 43



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