So /b. Whats the most autistic thing you've ever done? story below.
>Be me 16 >not alpha not beta, average anon wouldnt notice me etc >walking to shitty cold scottish school in the winter >recently picked up smoking, its very common for people that age to smoke up here >light smoke and walk to school where i meet a friend of a long time 10/10 qt3.14 >obviously I have a massive crush on cutie friend >follow normal routine, smoke on the way to school then smoke in the tunnels next to the shops across from the school >cutie says to me, "I have a school meeting to get to, ill be heading wanna finish my snout?" (snout is slang for cigarette) >HerLIpsPsHavETOuchEdIt.WAV >Take and half light so she thinks I am gonna finish it
>Cutie walks to tech class meeting or some faggot shit i dont take >i put out the ciggy and pocket it for later at lunch >normal day nothing to note people just excited as the Christmas holiday is soon so no works getting done >(forgot to mention cutie is family friend) >we meet back up with the rest of anon friends and head down to the shops for lunch >friends say to me, "heard the rumr going around about you?" >insecureteenplaysitcoolbutisreallydyinginside.gif >"people are saying youre trying to date cutie3.14" >I instantly begin to shit
>Seeing my blushing face they catch on that I like her pretty quick and start roasting me for it >this went on for the rest of the day but she never heard it luckily >come the end of the day i go to walk home with the cutie, as usual we meet by the shops and light a smoke then get moving >she sees i am smoking a full ciggy so asks if i finished the one from earlier, that she gave me >Quickly running through my head i say I had, didnt want her to think i was being a creep and keeping it >walk home keeping it in the pocket and hug her goodbye etcetc
>Once Im home i chuck my bag down and fire up the PS1 for some crash bandicoot as usual >Fuckingcortexbigheadnigger.wmv >casual day of not doing homework and sitting in the house >friend anon comes round to play game with me normal day as its christmas soon i like to see friends before >he brings up that cutie said she likes me, and thats i have a great shot >This gives me courage straight away to make a move as soon as i can
>with only 4-5 days until Christmas, my parents would be having their annual Christmas party on the 22nd >this meant I had a party atmosphere to make my move in, feels great >really start working this out in my head, getting all loved up and ready to make this big move which seemed like it was life or death at this point >I tell my mother and she takes me to buy a nice suit and some flowers for the party and a crate of beers so im the cool kid >I get a haircut and a shave looking pretty good for once, im quite a slob >I get home, gather they guys we crack a genius plan
>anon 1 suggested I wait for the party to get into full swing then leae with her to the glen near me, very pretty spot, teen romance etcetc >anon 2 says "get her really drunk and just try for it" >anon 3 says "dude just keep calm and make sure you play it light and safe" >at this point, the strange anon, number 4, propses the following, "op, take her to the glen, bring some wine and snack, bring your radio and make the most romantic thing you can with candles and true love >Anon 4 is a genius to me at that time, very alpha but very weird, so I take his advice
>Party time has come, loads of family friends and people from the street are there, always a great atmosphere >getting compliments on my outfit from allthe grannies, 3 piece suit and smart shoes, greased hair >waiting anxiously for cutie to get to the party >Whos this at the door? >I see a cute short 10/10? >Is it her?
>OHMYGODITSHER.FUCK.JPG >she looks amazing, like 5'6" skinny as all hell so cute and such great red hair >greet her family first, her baby brother is basically satan, bare this in mind. >seriously the kid is antichrist
>I spend my time with her at the party, but I still try and socialise with everyone so i seem more social and more attractive, pull a few jokes get some laugh, feeling confident >little later in the night, things are getting pretty loud but most of my and the friend anons (including cutie) dont really drink >I ask cutie if she wants one of the beers i got, she says "anon this is a party, lets party!" >I ask what she means by this, she proceeds to pull a hip flask of vodka from her bag >OwO whats this? >She stole her dads bottle and her mums precious glasses >she proposes that we head across the road and drink at her place
>We head out the back door because our parents are all talking in the hall way so we dont want them to see us >we are about to sneak out but whats this touching my leg? >Fucking satan baby touched me >cutie asks satan baby what it wants (she loves her brother so i need to be nice) >he wants to go across the road and get his toys >unwillingly accept this quest, however we turn this around as an excuse to go across the road >we ask her mother and she says "yeah you guys head across and put satan baby in bed etc" >this is going splendid
>were across the road and out the satan toddler baby thing in its bed and give him his toy >I see a golden oppertunity, I offer to put hi to sleep while she poors some drinks >I come across as a good guy, she goes to her room, double win >I manage to make the fucker sleep after 30 mins of rocking it like a fucking disabled pizza chef, no idea how to hand a fucking baby >Go through to cuties room wehre shes gotten changed out of the dress into classic 1999 british poverty jeans and top >i can see clevage, i can see her cutie freckles im so sure im in love
>We are giggling listening to some music and eating some snacks then she pulls out the poored drinks >not much detail here, we got pretty fucking drunk, we knew we'd get away with it because her parents would be coming home 4-5AM drunk as fuck >continue to drink but we run out, it wasnt a very big bottle >now i was at that vital tipping point where i didnt FEEL very fucked, but i stood up and lo and behold, I was fucking wasted, so much more drunk than i thought I was
>she suggests that we head across the road and go back to the party, however this is where I decide to suggest we head to the glen. >She asks why i want to go there and I say "got something really cool to show you" >In my bag I had candles, radio, smokes, snacks, blankets and drinks. the shag bag >she agrees eventually and we get on the path from behind her hosue, its flat and lever and straight so we would have been fine walking >half way to our destination i really need to pee
>at the airport >security holds his hand out asking me to stop >high five him
also just I just went downstairs to go to my condo's pool and came up because there was three cute girls in there I fucking knew it was going to happen too I probably would've gone in if there wasn't three of them
>be me, 17yo kissless virgin, undiagnosed anxiety disorder >basically terrified of taking normal risks, mortified of disobeying my parents most minor whims, and unable to gauge social situations >make friends with hippie chick that fucks everyone/smokes a ton of weed >she comes over to my place for several hours >living in my parents basement already, preparding for NEETdom early >parents mostly hang out on third floor, can't hear anything happening underground in my virgincave >stat chatting with hippie chick, get closer to one another >start spooning >I start talking about how frustrated I am trying to get 'experience with girls' >she looks at me and says "so, you really want to do this"?
>she says shell walk on and let me pee >so polite and cute im really really into this anon >she walks off and I throw down my bag and begin to piss in the bush >she laughs because she can hear me peeing, which in turn makes me laugh causing a flailing hose situation, where I drench my bag in pss, completely >Fuckwhatdonow? >decide to jsut leave my bag, which is now reaking of dark stinkin piss in the bush and get it tomorrow >I jog up the road to catch up with cutie >"Op wheres your bag?"
>I left it at the house cutie, dont worry >She know im lying and asks again >"why lie op wheres your bag?" >Cant think of anyting to say, fuck. >Op"uhhhhh I lost while I was peeing" >Cutie, "oh thats cool well just walk back and looks for it" >I have nothing to say, cant just say pissed on a bag of gifts for you and left it in the bush next to your garden >we walk back and look for this bag, i wait in dread for her to spot this bag, its so close to her, 5-6 meters on a slight slope >Masterplan.jpg >Decide to walks ahead a bit and pretend ive seen it, then kncok it down the hill into the dark so she cant see it
>I say something like "y-yeah" >we start making out >she seems into it, trying to guide me >I basically just hug her and fumble around with my tongue, never made out before >after a while I stop kissing her, my brain spergs out and I say "thanks, I needed that" >she gives me a weird look >leaves shortly afterwards
>mfw I realized years later she was offering me a pity fuck >mfw I never even got to second base because I was a complete autismlord >mfw she probably told her friends what a weirdo I was >mfw I had similar experiences being totally unable to pick up on blindingly obvious cues from girls, and then blamed them somehow for not doing everything for me
Thankfully I lost my virginity at 19 to an uncommonly understanding girl (we're still together), but the awkwardness of past me will always haunt me.
>Forgetting whats in this bag I move ahead and say "I think I see it!" >as quicklly as i can I knock this bag down the hill >Mother of god the noise, the smell. the fucking smell. >you know public mensrooms that smell of sick you get from too much beer? yeah, that >Piss now all over my leg and shoe >Im panicking, no idea what to >cutie "op, what the fuck was that?" >me "think it was animals in the bushes?" >Well played me, she loses interest >We continue to walk to the glen
>be 16 >1st night at three day Summer camp >Brushing my teeth at communal restroom full of teenage guys >Remember that earlier in the day when I had brushed my teeth my spit came out bloody >Don't want anyone to see my bloody spit >ohgodwhatshouldido >Think about spitting and rinsing the spit away quickly without anyone noticing >Not possible because both sinks beside me are being used and there's a line to use the sinks >Panic >Dont kno what to do >Decide to swallow my spit
>As we reach the glen, we sit right o the edge and put our feet in, however, while taking off my shoes cutie can smell something >"Op what is that fucking smell jesus christ" >At this points I could come clean and we could laugh it off >Or I could delve deeper >I went deeper >She sniffs near me and realises that the smell seems to be coming from me. >Usually shed be nice, cute, calm, understanding. no when shes drunk >"OP WTF IS YOU PISS YOUR SELF??? >Me "Nonono its the water from the glen cutie" >Her "It isnt what the fuck you pissed yorself get away from me" >She gets up to walk home >Its now or never I think to myself, I need to clutch this
>In my head, shitting myself, panicking, code red >I remeber >The ciggy >"CUTIE WAIT! Look!" >"Op What is that?" she approaches to see >I light it as she approaches, but soemthing not right, its wet, smelly >Its a pissarette >Its a pissy fucing cigarette >She stops >Squints to looks >Her eyes open, sees that its her brand she always buys, that its covered in piss and that im smoking it
>>736451918 >be in love with girl >she doesn't like me that way, but falls in love with my best friend >they become a couple >staying over at her house one night >get really bitter and lonely about the whole thing >got to the bathroom that has her laundry hamper in it >find one of her worn pairs of panties, still has that pussy crust in them >jack off into the panties, smearing my load all over the inner crotch area >cum buckets >wipe them off a bit and hide them back in the hamper >still fap to the thought that some amount of my cum has come in contact with her pussy and she'll never know No regrets.
>Cutie screams at me, "Fucking creep etc" >Begins to run home >I run after her, bearing in mind were both still quite drunk >She trips on gravel path and cuts arm >Starts shouting about getting piss in her blood and getting aids or something, >I take this very badly and take it as a major offence >Call her a cunt faggot etc > now shes running home, to her family, drunk, smelling of alcohol and piss, bleeding, crying and scared shes going to get HIV >I need to make a choice, do i run home or do i get to her house and explain before she calls me a rapist or someting
>>736458715 >>736458890 >>736458966 Oh yeah, forgot to add. >while digging for panties, hit jackpot and find two >used one to jack my dick into >held the other over my nose and mouth and breathed in that musty pussy scent like a drowning man coming up for air
>I manage to get to her house before her, its 4AM ish and I can see the lights are on, so her parents are home >unsure if this is blessing or a curse >I sprint to that fucking door and fire into the house, smelling of piss and regrets i am instantly questioned by cuties father >"Anon??? are you ok whats happened?" >I catch my breath for a second and in my infinite wisdom, my endless welath of knowledge and lack of hindsight i tell that mad straight >"cutie3.14 is gonna tell you i pissed on her but i -" >I am interrupted by the cuties arrival. she is on my case straight away >This becomes a shouting match >In turn wakes satan baby
>Baby toddler thing, like 5 or something is a cunt, ive said this, ill say it again, little fucking nigger >shouting match is going on downstairs, lots of questions and accusations >this all comes to a fast silence when the mother comes down, baby in one arm and a bag with her glasses, her dads vodka and some of my smokes in them >now the two parents are shouting at the two of us >I am demanded I go home and theyll come over to us in a few mins >I sprint across and begin to blubber at my mother to not kill me and that im sorry etc
>Mother confused >I smell of piss >Im drunk and crying >angry cutie and cuties parents banging on door screaming about me pissing on their daughter >Im denying it >mum please dont let them in >Motheropensthedoorlikeafuckingnunwelcomingthehomeless >they burst in shouting screaming and I just dont know what to do, all of this is too much and there is no way this can get worse >it gets fucking worse
>>736451918 >be me >be in 8th grade >winter >was a fucking spastic >one class i had to piss >being the fucking spastic i am i didnt want to ask anyone where the toilet was >decided i'll just go outside to take a piss >do this a few times >last time i went outside to piss i just heard "EW" behind me >instantly put dick in pants mid piss so i cant stop quickly enough so i piss myself >ran back to the classroom >classmates wondered why i had snow on my shoes and then they instantly knew i went outside to take a piss >being the fucking autist i am told them i had bought an energy drink earlier to to a little experiment where i just put it somewhere outside to see if anyone would "steal" it and i just went out to check if it still was there.
>In all this noise, i did it. i did the worst thing i could actually do in this situation, >I pissed >I pissed myself >right in front of them all >And you could hear it >You could smell it >they all went quiet >Speechless total silence >nothing but the sweet fucking symphony of bowel movements >This cannot be happening, im so shocked, theyre just. Staring
>Cuties parents just, leave >Cutie is pulled away with them, in total shock of the events >My mother embarrassed to even know I exist >I now want to die >I go straight to my room with my love life ruined, school will now be endless bullying, constant fun made of me. >I skipped school for a fucking month, missed studies and couldnt keep up. >I have a fear of peeing >I cant go near social media nowadays in fear of people finding me >I still think about the cutie
>A month ago, Saint anon highschool had a reunion, a classes of 1998, 1999 and 2000. >Current GF is already excited, she wants to go and meet my old class, I cant tell her this story so I agree and I plan to "break down" on the way there >Realise there is no way to fake a break down, and continue to drive to the school, I parked o the hill near the shops. >I rarely come to this area as it reminds me of all this
>Walking to the school >I can see the tunnel to my left >Shops behind me >I tear up, i cried, in front of my GF >in front of the school >hear some intense laughter close by >I look up >Its cutie, its my old friends >Laughing at me as I cried, as i am indeed >Peter Piss >18 fucking years >and I am still the guy who pissed himself. > we left the school and then current gf broke up with me that night >I pissed myself last week when i was at work. >I no longer work there as i resigned that day with a short notice >I am literally a piss machine >All i fucking do is piss >I am now such a mess >Im a lonely, pissy smelly single faggot and my life has been ruined >The only place im not judged is videogames and 4chan >mfw
>>736451918 >sharing an apartment with friends >hold parties almost all the time, every weekend at a minimum >had lots of regulars that became pretty good friends after a while and came over not just to party >had four girls that came over constantly to hang out with us >mostly platonic >between the three of us that owned the apartment we took on assigned duties during parties to keep things civil >mine was bouncer/cameraman >finished recording what looked interesting for the time as everyone settled into their groups >went back to my room to review the recording to see what I wanted to edit out >a few minutes later I hear a bunch of yelling in the living room, mostly from the girls >go see what's going on and see this lanky kid waving a steak knife around calling them bitches and whores >i ask what's going on >he ignores me and keep cussing at them >turn him towards me and ask what the problem is >he takes a swing at me, not with the knife but his bare hand >grab the knife on the back side of the blade and twist it out of his hand >throw the knife across the room and grab his throat >threw him over an open futon and pushed his head at an angle over the side >started to clamp down on his throat and push his head farther back over the end demanding he apologize to my guest >he tries to spit at me >i clamp harder and push farther >he starts flailing and gurgling >i ask him again to apologize to my guests >hear what sounded like "sorry" so i let up a little and ask again >he says he's sorry >i tell him to say he's sorry for being a disrespectful cunt >he just looks at me so i clamp down and press him back again >he finally gives in and apologizes >tell him to get the fuck out of my home >everyone sits in silence through the whole thing >as soon as he's out the door everyone erupts in laughter and cheers >pissed off and feel a little jittery from the whole thing so i holed up in my room for the rest of the night >tfw
>>736462120 So you fucked up and gave yourself a shitty disorder. Put some perspective on it. You embarrassed yourself trying to stage something romantic when you should have just said 'look, this is the deal'. Learn from it mate. Stop giving a Fuck. Im quite sure that if you deal with your anxiety that came if this blunder you'll find it much easier to move on and laugh it off.
>>736463756 Yup. Dealt with crippling anxiety and stress following an ex's ex continuously threatening to murder me, getting assaulted on the piss, and various other catastrophic tier shit I let myself walk into out of sheer stupidity. Its taken me years to deal with because the stress in place bled into those I cared about. I hate conflict and basically freeze at the notion. Or used to. Spent along time being afraid to go outside for fear of being stalked and fucked over.
It took a LONG time to get through and ui appreciate the subjective nature of experience of all if this. But the thing is, fixing problems outside of your control can be nigh on impossible. My life both internally and external has improve drastically when I focussed on dealing wit my internal issues first.
>>736464542 I do indeed. But the truth is that the only way out is through. And another truth is that only you have absolute responsibility and owe it to yourself to try and keep trying. I spent a long time rejecting the 'deal with it argument' until the philosophical virtues made sense. Everyone has their own path and will progress in different ways and at different paces - but no one will truly save you but yourself.
>>736464978 I will add that my closest friend who I had man unbiased discussions concerning how we see life/reality/society and more personal shit did help alot, and im still definitely not free from it. But even still, when you hit rock bottom, even the tiniest improvements can be game changers
>>736465069 Another approach is the 'I don't give a Fuck approach' - goes a bit like this: I don't give a Fuck about your psychological wellbeing unless there is some reason for me to have vested social interest in you. If I don't, then suffer for all I care, youre not me in the end of the day.
>be me >in 8th grade >recently broke up with girlfriend of two weeks (a story for another time) >entire 8th grade takes a trip to a camp like place for end of year celebration >friend and I walk around and do some shitty events >meet up with some of friends friends >one of them is the prettiest girl I've ever seen >holyshitwhoisshe.jpg >hang out for the rest of the day, and I think I hit it off really well with her >8th grade graduation dance rolls around >tell friend anon that it sure would be swell if I could dance with girl anon >"Sure thing let me get her for you!" >wat >friend anon gets girl anon to come over >oh >shit >my >spaghetti >they proceed to chase me around the gymnasium, trying to get me to dance will girl anon >so afraid of messing up in front of her I hide from her >mfw she wanted to dance with me >mfw I went up to her after the dance and apologized for it >mfw this was the beginning of a long saga of humility
>our highschool has a spirit week that leads up to a pep rally >each day has different theme >color day comes around >freshman color is yellow >girl anon and I had started talking again >talking about color day >"anon, aren't you wearing that banana costume for color day?" don't ask why I was a freshman >"yeah I am hahaha" >"haha we should totally get a picture together anon." >holy shit >most action I would have seen ever >"yeah we should that would be great!" >day comes >wait outside during lunch when everyone takes pictures >walk up to girl anon >"hey you want to take the picture now?" >"sure, just give me a minute" >minute goes by >then 2 >then 5 >wondering why girl anon didn't want a picture >make awkward eye contact whole time >girl anon gets picture with 3 junior dudes >banana costume does not get a man any puss >butwaittheresmore.jpg
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