>be 25
>studying for my MBA while working as a bartender
>Life is pretty normal, classes during the day, work at nights.
>MBA program requires me to take a language course because muh-liberal school
>Choose Spanish because its easy and was better then choosing Chinese
>Attend Spanish class
>justfuckmyshitup.jpeg
>Class is full of spics, fags, and beta cucks.
>literally everyone is majoring in some useless BA degree.
>Spanish prof is a 50 year old Colombian spinster
>sit at the back corner because in fear of catching AIDS or making contact with a degenerate
>suddenly a girl sits next to me
>Shes a 5'7 Latina with shit-ton of fatass, her tiny fat feet can barely touch the bottom of the floor
>mastodonwhitewhaleholygrail.mpeg
>"HOLA CHICO ME LLAMO ANALIA!" the creature yells
>"Umm Hola" I respond
>She starts yapping on and on without stopping
>Pretend to listen to her while the insides of my ear corrodes.
>Class finally ends.
>"ANON YOU SO GUD AT LISTENING ESE! HASTA LUEGO!" she yells.
Continue?
Por favor hermano, me gusta...
Fuck yes.
>Every class Motormouth (lets just call her that) keeps showing up and yaps on her mechanical mouth
>Answers every question the prof asks and always laughs like a down syndrome chupacabra
>She always shows up to class 5-10 minutes late and is always carrying food around
>Keeps offering me pieces of half-eaten muffin and a bag of animal crackers.
>Weeks go by
>Prof assigns a group project and divides the class in groups.
>Can you fucking guess? Motormouth is in my group along with a fag and a French exchange student
>"OMG ANON DIS PROJECT HARD YO ESE! WE GOTTA MEET UP N SHEIT"
>Motormouth keeps arranging plans to meet and cafes
>Start to loose hope in my life.
>Finish early on a Friday and drive to work
>Bar is full because its Friday night. Hipsters and fags crowd in
>I keep getting calls and texts
>Its Motormouth: "ANON POR QUE NO ME RESPONDES? WE IS NEED TO WORK PROJECTO!"
>Holy fucking shit.
QUE?
>Keeps on texting and spamming random spic talks
>Finally respond and tell her that I'm working
>"ANON ESE SCHOOL NO IMPORTANT TO YU?"
>Finally answer one of her calls
>rage.jpeg
>get into small argument and tell her to piss off for a day
>Motormouth's engine goes off
>"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY YOU PENDEJO ESE!?! I"LL HAVE YOU KNOW..."
>Her engine mouth literally doing a 241mpr even the fags at the bar can hear this shit over the club music
>"Hey anon you got gf problems bruh?" one fag says to me
>Manager starts pissing on me for using phone.
>Monday comes. Show up to class tired because was studying for a midterm while working on another project
>Motormouth stomps in. But isn't upset....
>"BUENOS DIAS ANON! YO I HEAR YOU BUSY YOU DID SUMTING ESE?"
>Try to explain to her I was very preoccupied but-
>Bitch cuts me off and starts lecturing me like a Mexican mom on a phone
>"ANON WHEN A LADY CALL YOU N SHEIT YOU GOTTA SAY...."
>"....AND THEN THATS HOW IM A FAT PIECE OF MIERDA!"
>the cycle repeats.
You're better off posting that comic, OP.
>Try to think as to why this fat little cunt was strange
>Asks prof and other students behind Motormouth's back to investigate
>Porf says shes a A+ student who is completely normal
>Other students claim she is just retarded and loudmouthed
>Even the fags and SJWs stay away fro her
>howdoipurge.jpeg
>So eventually my project group meets up at one of the fag's place to work on the project.
>liberaleducation.jpeg
>Fag and Frenchie student spends time gluing shit and arts-and-crafting papers while Motormouth trolls on laptop
>I end up gathering all the important shit and create a powerpoint.
>Feels extremely pissed that I carried the group but I always give all I have on anything I work on
>Motormouth then starts motorizing again
>"OMG ANON THATS NOT HOW YOU DO DIS SHEIT! DO AGAIN! NO I IS DO THIS WE DO THIS SHEIT!"
>killitwithfire.jpeg
>Eventually finish the project with a huge clusterfuck of a mess with Motormouth taking all the credit and fag and frenchie just going along with it.
>>736386952
Fuck her anon.
Fat chicks can be some of the best sex you will ever have.
*Best blow job(s) I EVER got was some a cute tubby girl , I actually wish I wifed the shit out of her :(
>>736387976
tubby and crazy , fuck man , you must have sex with this girl , consequences will never be the same.
>>736388079
this.
you need to come in her ass, unsheathed.
it's the only possible closure to this sordid affair.
>Weekend comes
>commute to work, its lady's night so shit-ton of cunts and fags pour into bar
>Making cucktails and spitting on cups when a giant engine screech makes spaghetti pants
>Its Motormouth and she has just walked into the fucking bar dressed like an 80s Miami shank but fat and autistic
>"OMGGGGG ANON!!!! SHEEEIIIITITT TAS TRABAJANDO AQUI ESE!?!?!" WOWOWOWOW
>The engine is oiled up
>"h-h-hey Motormouth , look im working and-
>GIBB ME FREE DRINKS ANON! YOU MI BEST FRIEND AND SHEIT!"
>Motormouth keeps on hagging me for free drinks and starts yapping on
>Try to calm her down after she drank a half full of sex on the beach and a sip of a bud light
>Motormouth, accompanied by another friends starts all chimping and out and starts grabbing my shirt for free shit
>"ANON DAME UNA MAS BE-BEBEBIDA ESE!!!"
>my head full of fucks when suddenly something vibrates under my pocket....
>>736386297
feed her a churro and then bury your burro.
have her squealing
>>736387220
10/10
>>736388675
Have amazing sex with her.
QUE??
bump dis shit pendejo
>>736386297
bump
>>736386297
This is one of the best threads in a long time. Keep going OP
>>736388652
me gusta
please keep going OP
I don't know why but I feel compelled to see then end of this story
>....its my phone. Friends texting me about some event at a club next door
>Decide to finish my shift and gtfo
>Motormouth is hammered. Starts flirting with other men and fags
>All of them push her away like shes a fucking bourbonic plague
>Motormouth starts chimping out more
>"ANON!!! WAHHHHHH NO ONE ME GUSTA!!!! WAHHHHHHH"
>Manager steps in
>Tells me to kick Motormouth and her friend out
>Finish shift drag Motormouth out into the corner of bar
>Suddenly Motormouth gases her engine towards my chest
>"ANONNNNNNNN...."
>Breath smells like fried beans, alcohol and cheese
>Suddenly strange urge kicks in
>Try to hold in
>"Hey Motormouth im going to a party next door with friends you wanna come?"
>shitsabouttogetreal.jpeg
>"YEEEEEESSSSSSSSSS!!!!"
>Arrive at club. Friends already drunk and passed out.
>Have some shots while motormouth tries to control her friend whos grinding and twerking at fags
>Motormouth falls down on fat belly
>her skirt lifts up slightly
>notice shes wearing a light blue thong with the sting deeply shoved in between her fat olive asscrack
>>736389419
please continue
Dont rape the mexican not worth it
>>736389419
*developing erection* don't you quit on me now anon.
>>736389555
my thoughts exactly anon, lmao nice trips cunt
>>736389555
trips of truth
>>736389419
I'm hooked, this better not end in some stupid walk the dinosaur shit
>>736389608
nothing wrong with fucking a fat chick.
Dem good feels
HURRY UP YOU FOOL
>>736389731
sauce???
>>736389735
Lil glass balla fool
>>736389797
/b/ro , its Mariah Mallad , go to google and fap yourself stupid.
Dont leave us hanging op
>She then got up and approached me with this geeky look as if she was gonna say something stupid and loud.
>"anon....*gibberish in Spanish*" her voice got quieter.
>Motormouth's friend took a cab and went home while my friends were passed out
>She then asked me what i was going to do and i told her i was going to another bar (fuck me)
>dont know why but it just came to my head.
>She then asked if she can join me.
>Thought about how pathetic this kind of is and that im gonna be drinking with this fat latina.
>Feeling kinda lonely (and feeling a bit sorry for her)
>Decided to be alpha and we went to a bar at another place together.
>Go to bar and order drinks and some food
>Motormouth starts yapping on again
>Pretended to care and listen, and then i noticed something.
>Motormouth, just near her mountain cleavage where one of her buttons in her shirt is undone i can see a sky-blue colored bra squeezed in just by an inch.
>took a glance at her chest
>started to feel aroused.
>Just as she was laughing to herself about this joke she made up she accidently knocked over her drink spilling her gin all over her skirt.
>Without thinking quickly reached over her and helped her clean and wipe
>Motormouth was all nervous and embarrassed and shit. Gave her my handkerchief to wipe.
>>736389958
diamonds , continue...
>>736389926
THANK YOU /B/ROTHER
>>736389958
>>Motormouth was all nervous and embarrassed and shit. Gave her my handkerchief to wipe.
repeat post-coitum, I can feel it in my loins...
>>736389958
excellent
>>736389958
go ooonnnn....
>>736390085
>"Gracias anon..."
>We continue to talk on about shit
>Finds out she grew up with a single mother and never got any attention
>Shes kind of autistic as well and has ADHD problems
>Listening to all her shit made me realize shes lived a poor life
>Felt sorry for her and then tell her I was sorry for giving her shit during the Spanish project
>"Its okay anon!" shes starting to blush and notice her face turning cherry red. Not from the alcohol
>"Hey anon im hungry lets go to Applebees!"
>Wat
>I was hungry hungry as well so we went to Applebees
>She ate like a 3rd world bastard jizzing all the oil and soup down her chin while smiling at me and thanking me
>"De nada"
>Ask her if I can give her a ride back home
>Says yes. We arrive at her place, she invites me over for coffee
>shitsabouttogetreal.jpeg.
>>736390355
Fuck all this boring novel shit. It was good world building but got old like 3 pages ago. Just skip to the part where you're balls deep in her fat ass.
>>736390433
lmaoo nah i like the buildup
>>736390433
Damnit I like these build ups I don't know how it will end but fuck it i'm here.
inb4 some gay shit like dinosaurs
>>736390088
my almonds man
>>736390433
This, hurry up OP. I gotta work in an hour and i somehow gotta squeeze a fap, the three S's and a drive into that hour.
>>736390490
>>736390491
>This much build-up
I feel sorry for you guys since you obviously don't value your free time much.
>>736390433
Please exit the thread and fuck off elsewhere, you autistic cuntwagon.
>>736390355
Fuck sake OP don't go lewd on us.
>>736390572
On /b/=you obviously don't value your free time much
>>736390355
OMFG don't you fucking beta out of this one OP. I wanna hear how your churro was covered in her hot cocoa
>>736390572
I am a NEET, I'm not even phased by that shit.
I waste my own time, quite well, actually.
Bumping
>>736390572
LIFE IS A BUNDLE OF DIVERSIONS UNTIL THE PHENOMENON OF CONSCIOUS PERCEPTION IS NO LONGER TENABLE DUE TO THE FAILURE OF THE FLESH!
Hurry the fuck up op
>Makes coffee.
>she just sat on the couch with no expression and staring blankly at the coffee.
>asked if shes ever been on a date or goes out often like tonight.
>she gave me the answer that she never had the time, always studying.
>Says shes went out today with her friend because she felt insecure about her social life.
>Motormouth's engine is her misery and loneliness. I had to turn it off.
>After a couple of minutes she took off her glasses and her hair pin, and what i saw was nothing like I've seen before
>Her brown-eyes were so beautiful and her face looked so different without the glasses and her wavy hazel-blackhair flowed down to her meaty shoulders.
>Of all these times i have thought Motormouth was a fat spic but under that whale-lard disguise she was a woman.
>She gave me that look that i see in every woman I’ve been with in my life. Its time to go in.
>slowly move myself closer to her and as I got closer I can smell her scent softly passing through my nose.
>She begins to slowly reach her puffy hand towards my shoulders.
>She stroked her hand softly against my neck down to my chest i grab her soft hand. It feels plush and warm.
>then slowly began to unbutton her shirt. Her body so perfect, and her sky-blue lingerie bra begins to slip and untie away from her breasts.
>As i put my hands over her all of a sudden she began to give off a squeaky moan. I paused for a second
>She wrapped her arms around my neck and reached for my lips. Her mouth tasted like garlic and honey and olives,
>Kiss her gently but as she began to open her mouth inside mine
>I felt a gush of alcohol and garlic beans saliva squirt into my mouth and her tongue whipping and sucking around all over my lips and teeth.
We're wait OP
THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DON'T PREPARE THE STORY AHEAD OF TIME
>>736390903
>>I felt a gush of alcohol and garlic beans saliva squirt into my mouth and her tongue whipping and sucking around all over my lips and teeth.
I can feel a bout of puking and diarrhoea and holding her hair back all night as she shits and vomits herself empty coming on...
I fear the worst lads, the very worst, a chilli-flavoured explosive shits kind of worst...
>>736390903
dis gun' be gud/
>>736391053
this, but keep going OP
>>736390903
>>I felt a gush of alcohol and garlic beans saliva squirt into my mouth and her tongue whipping and sucking around all over my lips and teeth.
>>736390903
Mfw her sweaty spic pussy smelled like chipotle when you pinched it open with you fingers.
>She certainly doesn't how to kiss, nor has she ever kissed anyone.
>Inside my pants I was hard as a rock
>The kiss intensified I slowly pushed my lump against hers, she gasped and then she gave a small thrust.
>I can feel the lump between her legs rubbing mine gently.
>Engine starts to rumble to a moan uncontrollably, the smooth sound of fabric rubbing
>Her hand strokes slowly into my thighs I start rubbing her fat asscheek
>Down into her skirt
>trying to find the string buried underneath the fat I grab and pull it down slowly
>As I pull her shit-cover thongs down I feel a hairy cushion touching my belly
>Her cunt was a black bushy Amazonian jungle
>Not too much hairy but the fat puffs up and i knew it was big but the inside was going to be tight...
>>736391142
This is real as fuck man keep it up.
>>736391142
>shit-cover thongs
Not gonna lie chubby chicks in my experience have had the tightest pussies
My erection at this disgusts me.
cont
>>736391142
>Her cunt was a black bushy Amazonian jungle
>Not too much hairy
What?
>>736391306
pretty much this
>>736391306
I'm too lazy to get erect
>>736390903
>>She gave me that look that i see in every woman I’ve been with in my life.
Oh, you! This level of narcissism can only be awarded a 9.8 out of 10.
>>736391499
I mean it could have just been one girl.
Consider that.
>Motormouth starts to breath heavily. Moaning faster. Shes nervious
>Thought that with all the food she ate she was gonna shit on me
>"anon...I...my....first...tiem"
>Her hands pulling my pants down. the Amazonian jungle brushing against my belly now moving south into
>my dick. hard. Normally for a fuck I shove it right in but this was different
>I can feel the tip warming up by the meat lips of her cunt
> Its 1/4 in
>2/3
>all in
>"AAAAAAHHHHWWWWWWWWWW" Motorizing engine
>Start trusting. slower, moderate, break the gas.
>Motormouth strips away all her clothes
>Pants down my shirt off. I feel this stickiness and humidity on my chest
>Motormouth's fat tits are pouring in with sweat rubbing against my chest waters of sweat poruing down on our bodies
>She lefts up her weight and crushes on top of me while I lay on my back on the couch.
>The couch is snapping I can feel the wood crack.
>>736386297
it's true?
Watches at 0 $?
>>736391606
>>She lefts up her weight and crushes on top of me while I lay on my back on the couch.
>>The couch is snapping I can feel the wood crack.
>>736391606
>>The couch is snapping I can feel the wood crack
>>736391560
Notice that EVERYONE is a fag, cuck, lib-uh-rul, foreigner, SJW, that only HE, manly man of men, actually does anything in this story? Only he can assemble the project because reasons. This is some next level satire brothers.! Copying for later abuse.
>>736391606
>the couch is snapping I can feel the wood crack.
Time to leave this thread
>>736391864
Okay you do have a point there.
I mean I normally look down on everyone but I don't exclude myself from it. I just don't know anymore anons..
>Try to move away and be on top
>Denied.
>Keeps on thrusting her weight and pelvus cunt
>Try to doggy. Denied
>Fat engine just octopusses me
>Wet mouth smoothering over me
>Smell of garlic and saliva still lingers
>ay.ayyy.ayyy.
>She lifts up both her feet from the couch in a crouching position.
>I just keep on fucking. Her moans going ayyayyayayyayayayyayaya
>Sees drips of blood, juice and fluid flowing down her into my dick.
>Every hair of the jungle is soaked and sweaty.
>"anon...anonnn, aaan--anooon"
>I'm about to bust. Don't know where to release.
I'm ashamed for having an erection
Can anon stick the landing on this thread?
get ready for opening of doors and getting on the floors.
what will it be ? dinosaurs ? spaghetti ? fresh prince cab ?
>>736392147
Don't forget dinosaurs
or shrek
Tree fiddy.
Have you ever farted while jerking off and then lose your erection due to the horrid, vomit inducing scent? As if Hitler reanimated into your bowels and gased you like the Jews, leaving you gasping for breathable air?
Cotton eye joe
>>736392371
God yes
She's trying to get you to nut inside XD
>>736392371
Thats impossible...everyone likes their own brand
>>736392447
Nah dude. You know your shit was rancid when even you can't stand it.
>>736392482
Nah dude. You're just weird.
pre-write your fucking greentext garbage you nigger op, i hope you are paying her alimony now
>>736392447
Eat bad food+drink cheap beer=Brimstone laced hell gas.
>>736392561
I'm telling you man like normally your own shit is tolerable but sometimes it's so fucking bad you can't handle it yourself
Ffs op hurry up
OP's just gonna leave us hanging
>I bust right inside her.
>Motormouth gasps for air.
>AAAYYYYYYYYYYY
>tired and exhausted. Hardest, painful finish
>Motormouth falls on her back with a huge meteor-strike drop gasping her air
>tears of orgasm and pain draws down her cheecks
>Ask her if shes okay
>"anon that was hurt and feel gud..."
>Look at her fat cunt with fluid and blood dripping down into her ass crack
>my dick covered in red and white smells like a rotting yogurt on a stick
>I fall asleep not thinking about any of this
>Woke up on the couch smelling like utter pile of corpses
>Motormouth is on top of me cuddling and snoring
>Be me
>Work the late shift at the cocktail lounge in a swanky hotel in my home town. Quiet night, only a few stray patrons.Three women come to the bar and order drinks.
>mfw I recognise one of them as XXXXXX from Disney Channel. My little sister likes to watch the show she is on, so I have seen her a few times, but she looks a THOUSAND times better in person and a lot olderthan on TV where she is made up to look like a teen and a bit of a dork.
>Play it cool and assemble drinks. Tell them I will bring them to their table. Bring drinks to them and they are all friendly and chatty.They stay for a couple of hours and have a few more rounds which I bring them each time.Laughing and chatting and clearly having a good time.
>The two randoms leave and XXXXXX stands up and comes to the bar and sits down.She is looking happy and a little tipsy. Tells me she wants to try something she has never tried before.
>Realises what she just said and bursts out laughing.
>Tell her I know what she means. Ice well and truly broken.
Continue...?
>>736392562
Pay them 15 an hour and if they mess that badly fire them.
Want a proper worker pay proper wages.
>>736392709
Continue.
I can't look
>>736390216
If you're going to do shitty shops at least lower the resolution.
>>736392709
>>736392813
>Talk about favorite spirits and cocktails. Settle on an old classic, a Sidecar for her. She tastes it and a huge smile stretches out on her face. Wow anon! That is just awesome.
>Fucking instaboner. She is gorgeous and as hot as all hell. Still have not acknowledged that I recognise her. Ask what she is doing in town. Says she has a charity dinner to go to omorrow but came early to catch up with some friends.
>Chat for a bit about all sorts of shit, generally treat her like a regular human. Finally ask her what she does for a living. She laughs and shakes her head. I work on TV, if you can believe that!
>Tell her sorry if I didn't recognize her, I don't see much TV with my work hours.She's OK with that and says she doesn't expect that I would be watching kids TV. Chat about random shit for a while, keep it light and non creeper. Still not sure, but I think she is into this. Time rolls around and have to close up. Tell her it's been great serving her and hope she has a good stay. Pays up and drops a decent tip.Stands to go and then says:
>Anon, this might sound silly, but could you drop by my room and make me another one of those Sidecars fora nightcap? I have a fully stocked bar, but I don't have a clue on how to put it together like you.
>Holyshit.jpg dick goes limp in beta fear of what she just said.
Continue..?
>>736392709
Not unless you give us a name.
>>736392692
>I whisper to her ear that I have to go
>Shes grabs me by my hand and tells me to not go
>Ill see you in class anyways
>"si mijo....hasta.." She falls back into sleep
>I drive back and grab some White Castle and come home.
>Shower for like 3 hours straight purging myself from the grease, blood and sweat
>Go on /b/ and type the entire insane night as of now.
>End.
>>736392906
Fucking yes continue stop fucking around I want the dinosaurs to come.
>>736391464
I'm too erect to get lazy
I am so disappoint.
No three fiddy?
>>736392972
Ghost the bitch anon. She could ruin your entire life.
>>736392972
Not bad OP, not bad at all.I wish you,and all your disgusting half breed children and your soon to be fat smelly mexican wife the best.Good story
>>736392906
>Sure thing! I just need about half an hour to close up and clean up.She is ok with that, gives me room number and heads out to the elevators.
>Brain now in overclocking mode. Have to keep calm and not overthink this, but I like where this is going. Clean, close out register, change and close lounge in record time. Take a moment to get my head together.
>Head up to her room on the top floor. Knock and wait. Door opens and there she is all smiles wearing fluffy hotel bathrobe, hair up in a towel. Realise instantly that I Should have had a clarity wank before I came upstairs. Makeup has been removed and she still looks like a walking wet dream.
>Come on in Anon! You really are sweet to do this for me. Tell her it's my pleasure (and hope I don't sound like a complete stammering beta.)
>She has a suite and we have full bar supplied for it so everything I need is there and I get to work making her drink. She curls up onto the sofa and asks how I like my job keeping bar here
>Time to try and step this up.
>Laugh and say when I get a day like this one, I wouldn't swap it for anything. She giggles and it's fucking adorable. Make eye contact and she holds it. Holymotherfuckingchrist! Is this even possible?
Continue..?
if im gonna be honest half of you wanted a clever punchline but instead got a story, but you would've been disappointed either way
>>736386297
>Choose Spanish because its easy and was better then choosing Chinese
>better then
Maybe you should start by learning English, faggot.
>>736392972
happy fathers day
>>736392972
Dude you fucked a Mexican and came inside her. She is going to have 8 kids from this one load. You know that right? If Mexican chicks smell jizz they get pregnant.
>>736392972
good story. some pics (even face blacked out) would top it off.
>>736392972
So, any plans what your going to do now?
Keep her? Ghost her? Play it off as a one night stand?
I cant tell if OP had sex or a free for all buffet
with all the food references
>>736393209
It's not to late
>>736386952
>fag and a french exchange student...
isnt that the same person?
>>736392972
Punch yourself in the dick for doing that
>>736391606
For a minute i had to investigate why my eyes saw
> world crack
Instead of
> wood crack
>Choose Spanish because its easy and was better then choosing Chinese
Maybe next time remember that there is Mandarin or Cantonese to choose from seeing as there is no such thing as "Chinese".
>>736393152
Not unless you tell us the Celebrity
>>736393152
Yea hurry up no need to ask
>>736393579
justin timberlake
>>736393608
He said celebrity.
>Keep it together and finish up prepping drink, tell a few funny stories about former guests and bar patrons. She tells me a couple of stories about working a Taco Bell counter when she was still in school. I swear I will never eat at Taco Bell again. She got fired after complaining about her boss who was creeping on her all the time. I tell her 'fuck Taco Bell' and hand her the drink.
>Fuckin' A' she says back to me.
>Have major nerdsnap in the brain and it's out of my mouth before I can think; 'Gus Grissom, 'The Right Stuff', right?'
>Shitshitshitshit, why the fuck did I say-
>'Anon, I LOVE that movie! I used to watch it with my dad!'
>Have now gone from sweaty, nervous lust to being a little bit in love. Feel the nervous energy drain from the room and feel a whole lot more comfortable.Now we have an actual conversation about 'The Right Stuff' and a couple of other movies.
Continues...
>>736393152
Just keep typing, there's no need to keep asking to continue
>>736393534
and where the fuck can you study Cantonese (one Chinese dialect out of a billion) outside of HK, you smart arse?
Chinese pretty much = Mandarin as a rule, esp. when talking about academic courses.
>>736392972
Thanks for a good fap, anon. I greatly appreciated it.
>>736393641
Kek
>>736393643
Sorry, we are still friends, so no identities will be revealed. Deal wif it, bruvver.
>>736393659
>fapping to garlic beans
Fapping to rotting yogurt on a stick
>>736393741
sage then, fuck off
>>736393741
Then the story is B.S.
You don't go from being so alpha that you fuck a "celebrity" to so beta that her names a secret because you're still friends. Fucking fag. What's gonna happen? Somebody on 4chan will leak the story? Oh no! What a credible fucking source!
>>736393656
I'll just leave this here.
>>736393875
>>736393809
>>736393809
Such levels of butt hurt. Ok. Cya then.
>>736393953
I was enjoying it but okay
>>736393953
Bye birch. Enjoy your life in the land of faggotry and imagination
>>ITT MBA beta Anon can't deal with Spanish class do ask /b/tards for empathy
Fuck off Anon, any MBA program that ask a second language is shit or you came from a shit school either way
>>736393953
Stop being jackasses and just tell the damn story
>>736394016
*bitch
>>736393953
Holy shit fuck these faggots continue.
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
>>736393879
妳隻夠野好乜臭,
>>736394018
He sounds like a Califag working for a liberal arts degree, who makes up stories of being some puss crushing god, but has never even seen a titty in person
>>736393762
Thats because I am one
>>736393953
>so butt-hurt that wont even finish his story
>calls others butt-hurt
sure thing kiddo
>>736394072
My negro.
>>736390903
>>Of all these times i have thought Motormouth was a fat spic but under that whale-lard disguise she was a woman.
lmao, OP is a poet
>>736389419
>bourbonic plague
kek, this is the best way to refer to drunk people
>>736393875
What a little bitch you are complaining about no name who gives a shit your going to keep reading anyway cause you have nothing else better going in your life. Faggot
>>736386458
>>736394274
Perfect really
>>736394081
>妳隻夠野好乜臭,
Not a charitable thing to say, faggot. I am no the one that fucked a beaner
>>736393643
Keep going anon nevermind these butthurt faggots
I too would like to hear about the time you were the 1,000,000th customer to fuck Miley Cyrus.
>>736394169
This
>>736394463
Kek
>>736394463
This made me snort.
>>736394463
you stick your dick and find a full welcome party with celebrities, balloons, confetti, music and all waiting for you
surprise!!
and aids
>>736392894
I didn't shoop it , that is how I saved it from her thread /b/ro
>>736393643
It's ariana right?
some autist is going to mail each and every one of the possible contenders in the hope of seeing your crush, well, crushed...
>>736393953
Good riddance pussy fuccboi liar
>>736394900
God that was gay
>>736392972
You better carry your ass on down to CVS and pick up a plan B.
>>736395154
too late, by now her mother and at least 7 of her brothers are already on the way to move into his house
the cousins are coming from mexico as soon as they can find a coyote to smuggle them through the border
>>736394776
ariana was nickolodean you bllithering retard
>>736395594
ryan gosling then ?
>>736396548
he had to nip out to succ off Justin Trousersnake
>>736396548
Nah this nigga probably dead now.
>>736396548
>an hour later
He isnt coming back
>>736392906
Shes in town just for a charity dinner, but has a fully stocked bar. Either shes a complete alcoholic or op is full of shit (i think op is full of shit). But please stop asking these fucking questions and continue, im at work and need to kill time
>>736396665
Lol
>>736394016
>>736394169
This. Just because its imagination doesnt mean its not nice to read you butthurt faggot.