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First time Flight help thread i guess? > be me > 23 >

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 103
Thread images: 8

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First time Flight help thread i guess?

> be me
> 23
> live in WI
> have never left the state further than Chicago IL or Des Moine IA
> booked my flight for my future bro in laws bachelor party
> strippersandcocaine.jpeg
> have never flown before
> party is in less that 2 weeks
> frantically looking around Google so Im prepared dont lose my spaghetti doing this

So a few questions first and any other advise would be great.

1) im trying to fly with pot(want to bring some with me and a brownie for the flight) also if i dont have a brownie how can I smoke on the flight if at all
2) will a regular sized backpack be fine for a carry on (flying SW)
3) generally anything that I should look out for
>>
come on /b/ help a dumb ass sheltered Wisconsin boy out
>>
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bumpin with my girl tay tay
>>
>>734486327
>1) im trying to fly with pot(want to bring some with me and a brownie for the flight) also if i dont have a brownie how can I smoke on the flight if at all
Let the flight attendant know you want to blaze. Most are stoners themselves and will hook you up with a special safe spot to do so.

>2) will a regular sized backpack be fine for a carry on (flying SW)
Absolutely.

>3) generally anything that I should look out for
Southwest flights are full of cackling old ladies
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>>734486686
lol IDK if your being serious with your first answer or not....and that makes me suspicious of you other answers
>>
>>734486924
Dude are you high or just dumb?
>>
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>>734487231
yes
>>
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anyone else other than this fool want to chime in
>>
>>734486327
Don't bring pot with you. Why risk it when you can easily buy more wherever you go?
>>
>>734487584
im a chode who cant talk to ppl good
>>
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anyone else....must be late
>>
>>734486327
Alright /b/ro, let me help you out. I'm an airline pilot, so i know a thing or two about flying.
1) Do NOT, under any circumstances, bring drugs, or anything illegal with you on the plane, or to the airport. There are drug dogs, and they will find your stuff.
2) A normal size backpack is fine, it won't be an issue. Don't bring any drinks or food with you, just suck it up, and buy at the airport, because TSA will fuck with you.
3) Make sure you look for gate changes, and try to pay attention to the PA announcements. If you're nervous about flying, don't be. I can assure you that it is an extremely safe way to travel, and all airliners can fly with only one engine. Because you're flying southwest, bring a book, or portable charger, as your plane will most likely not have any in-flight entertainment.

Hope this helps /b/ro
>>
>>734487764
Don't fly with bud. I bring thc caps when I travel. I keep them next to my vit-c in pill container.
>>
>>734488582
im not nervous about it at all man...excitded

but I mean from what ive read taking a very small amount of pot is easy in todays America...i hear most of the time any dogs you see are for bombs
>>
>>734488916
Had dogs walk past while in line, I think they looking for more dangerous stuff
>>
>>734488916
>>734488582
what about a brownie..IK my friends have brought brownies on the plane with them...
>>
>>734489018
Brah, it's a short flight.... Eat the brownie on way to airport.. It'll take an hour anyway...they sit back and enjoy
>>
>>734486327
Just don't do it weed is easy to get anywhere or mail it and pick it up where you're going
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>>734489177
yea i figured...i just didnt know how long it takes once your there to get into the flight and also how far could i make it in with the brownie....dont wanna eat it to early
>>
>>734488582
I've flown with weed on me numerous times one time a security guard said I smelled like weed I just told him that i was high af and he laughed and let me through

>Canadian domestic flights
>>
>>734489177
Prepare for the worst of humanity. SW passengers are on edge cause of the seating policy, no assigned seats ....so when the boarding starts people try and skip, employees try to stay out of it, it's a mess
>>
>Being stoned on a plane

No thank you...just get some xannies instead and down a couple brewskies
>>
Boarding on South West is like Walmart on black Friday.
>>
>>734489502
damn son i wish I had actual drugs
>>
>>734488934
I wouldn't risk it if I were you. If you absolutely insist, make sure that its wrapped scent proof, and tape it to your balls or something. Don't ever put it in your bag. They x-ray them, and if they see something off, they will search it. I've flown with captains who have thrown people off flights for looking baked, so there's that too.
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>>734489018
Brownies take like an hour at least to kick in and last a couple more hours just eat it first and you'll be fine dude don't bring drugs into an airport unless you're retarded
>>
>>734489592
Just tell a doctor that you get bad panic attacks from flying and that a friend once gave you a Xanax and it helped tons he will script you at least a couple mgs
>>
>>734489604
Keep it away from balls, off our person. Full body scan will bust you in a sec
>>
>>734489425
Oh yeah. Used to fly with them, and the second that boarding started, flight deck door is closed and locked, let the FA's deal with the hamplanets lol.
>>
It's not scary at all unless you get really bad turbulence. I had people crying in my airplane because we thought we were going down. Second worse is when I had sleep paralysis and also thought I was going down and heard screaming but it was all in my head.All in all not bad at all you might get somewhat spooked during takeoff/landing.
>>
>>734489604
>protip
The xray machines can't see through cds
I hid an ounce in my CD case once and the guy even asked me "is that cds"
>>
>>734489630
then why have multiple friends brought brownies on board with no problem?
>>
>>734489768
If you reject a full body scan they will pat you down so thoroughly it will 100% be found. I have only ever done it where I stick it up my ass and I don't think 99% of people want to smoke that badly.
>>
>>734486327
1)I would advise not bringing it but I have flown with a vape pen that just looked like an ecig however as mentioned dogs can pick up on it and if security finds it (and knows what it is) you are FUCKED it is a federal crime considered trafficking a schedule 1 narcotic plus a laundry list of other shit they will throw at you. eat edibles before you enter the airport and then get some on the other side
2) I regularly fly with a backpack and call it my "personal bag" to avoid carry on fees (check carriers website)
3) Check in online and avoid checking bags use a E-ticket on your phone (crop to only the QR and turn your brightness up and lock the rotation) walk into the airport with pockets empty except phone and ID and everything else in your bag (no belt, jacket, sunglasses, anything you can't take through the scanners) and where flip flops if appropriate.

I have other advice if you want to know, basically I live on planes.
>>
>>734489917
Sure things can work out but is it really worth being on a no fly list if you get caught?
>>
>>734489768
thats what I thought this guy is full of shit
>>
being high on the plane and smoking at the airport is no problem.

if you try to bring green on the plane though, you better know what the fuck you're playing with because getting arrested at an airport is NO JOKE

that being said

I have successfully brought a 8th with me by buying a pack of cigs, cutting the bottom off the cigs, putting the bud in the bottom of the box in a WELL SEALED BAG and then covering the bud with the shortened cigs

just looks like a pack of smokes. but you still better BURY IT IN A CHECKED BAG
>>
Just get a doctor's note saying you're allowed to bring marijuana. It's super easy
>>
>>734489901
Dude could probably tell that there was shit in your CD case but just let you pass since you didn't freak when asked about it
>>
>>734486327
If you're fat (and I assume you are), make sure you don't sit all the way down on the toilet seat when you flush. If you create a seal between your ass and the seat, the pressure from flushing will prolapse your anus instantly.
>>
>>734489827
I can tell you that turbulence will never bring down a plane. Takeoff and landing may get a bit bumpy, but there is nothing to worry about. Turbulence on an airliner is nothing compared to the 172's Take it from someone with almost 15,000 hours in the air. If you want to be scared, look up microbursts. That shit gets real dangerous, real quick.
>>
>>734490106
>flushing the toilet on public transportation

Ishygddt
>>
>>734490248
It still scary as fuck balls she the plane drops 400 ft in like 2 seconds
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>>734490106
I way 163 lbs bitch
>>
>>734490101
Probably, it was a huge over weight bag filled with pretty much my whole house
>>
>>734490106
Never make assumptions, it's such a shitty way to live
>>
>>734490415
weigh....damn im high
>>
>>734490511
Lol I read it and didn't even realize the typo...get on my level
>>
I'm from wisconsin also OP, but have no tips for you
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>>734490592
Do you wanna hang out?
>>
>>734490629
Where you at?
>>
>>734490329
lol, i can understand why pax would be scared. The worst that i ever experienced was during IFR training, when we flew into a thunderstorm by accident (no Wx radar, and shitty ATC) and were having deviations of almost 1000 ft. Thats one time that I almost shit myself, not going to lie.
>>
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>>734490589
bruuhhh
>>
>>734490657
>>734490592
OP here im in Madison
>>
just fucking ship it to your destination
vacuum seal bud, wash hands, table, change clothes, rub alcohol over it, move to a different room, vacuum seal once again, repeat wash, wrap in childrens birthday wrapping paper
get prepaid cc
go to usps
keep head down ( but don't draw attention)
use one of the boxes they have
most stores have a automated kiosk for shipping use that
ship to your hotel with a fake name
use a residential address from your town (not yours) and a fake name as return
wait til you get to your hotel then say you should have mail for fake name if they do not have it, drop it. it was confiscated enroute, don't draw attention to it.

95% success rate
>>
>>734486327
DO NOT under any circumstances smoke weed on a plane. Jesus fuck just get that thought out of your head right meow unless you wanna get the shit beat out of you by 3 air marshals and 4 years of phonebooks
>>
>>734491193
.....I do tho
>>
>>734491262
well then, go right ahead. Enjoy federal prison dumbass.
>>
the "liquids" rule is really only for water bottles and bigger bring an empty reusable waterbottle instead (like yeti) and restaurants after security will fill it for free or they will fill it on the plane

you can bring snacks through security

if there are 2 of you flying book the aisle and window, people won't want to book the middle and if they do will be happy to switch

just ask, anything you want from the airline, just ask. this is actually good life advice. worst that can happen is they say no.

carry business cards that say GM for a nice restaurant (in your city or just a major one) pass them to flight attendants and tell them you can hook them up if they want to come in ( flight attendants are always in big cities but can rarely afford nice dinners) bam they will hook you up all flight

careful how much you drink altitude really does change how much you can drink

poo before you get to the airport pee before you get on the plane

noise canceling headphones and download listenables on your device (no service in the sky)

blow up neck pillow and soft jacket make for comfies in air (eye mask too if thats a problem for you)

when you get to your seat smile and say hello to your neighbors but then shut the fuck up and put on your headphones
>>
>>734491732
bro....im from wisconsin...I can handle my damn alcohol
>>
>>734491732
To add on to this, NEVER drink anything on the plane that you didn't see come from a bottle or can. The water storage tanks on the a/c are nasty as fuck. Full of algae and shit. You will 100% get sick.
>>
>>734492212
...says the first time flyer

fine don't listen and get drunk as shit and possibly arrested because getting too drunk in a bar means they kick you out, getting too drunk on an airplane mean you face federal charges and air marshals who can literally do anything to you.
>>
1) If you have legit anxiety and need the weed for just the plane rides, toke up beforehand on the way out. Don't do more than you would normally do when going out. For the trip back it's a little harder, but if you absolutely can't buy it there, do this:

Get a brand new bottle of a no-smell cooking oil like safflower. Put an ounce in a blender or food processor, and add about an eighth of some good shit in there and blend it up really fine. Let it air out for less than four hours, with a fan over it if possible, and then store it in your refrigerator.

Next get a 1 ounce bottles of a strong-smelling essential oil like peppermint or clove, something you can stand. Empty out 3/4 of it, and then take your pot oil in the cooler and spread it out on a cheesecloth. Get a syringe from a methadone clinic. Put the mixture in the syringe with a little bit of filter paper at the bottom, and squeeze that shit through the syringe into the bottle. The strong smell should throw off any doggos, bonus points if you dress like a whole foods dingus and keep the oil in a bag of vitamins and supplements. Keep the bottle cold once you get to where you're going.

When about to return, just liberally add the oil to a shake or smoothie. It's gonna taste super strong like weed and peppermint and probably make you shit like crazy for awhile after 6 hours, but if you need the weed and want a very low risk of getting caught, it will absolutely work.
>>
>>734490592
>>734490750
Fuck yeah, Madison checking in!
>>
>>734492493
you underestimate my drunkeness
>>
>>734492721
you underestimate the effects of altitude
>>
>>734492666
woooo lets do some coke
>>
>>734492666
lawler?
>>
>>734492721
You'll be fine as long as you drink no more than half what you normally would. Flying fucks with your hematocrit and makes you get drunk really easily. Ideally you want peak drunk an hour before you get on the plane.
>>
>>734492827
Hi there anon 4chan user! Just stopping by to ask why you didn’t end this comment with a period? You are aware that this is improper punctuation and therefore the wrong way to go about using the english language correct? I think I speak for this community as a whole when I say that this is quite disturbing and it makes me very confused. Was this merely an accident? Did you really mean to add more but accidentally posted? Were you killed mid sentence? The problem is I have no clue! This will most definitely keep me up tonight if you don’t respond and acknowledge what you have done. Please reply with the proper correction. Thank you in advance it is greatly appreciated and I hope this clears up any confusion for any others in this thread.

Upon further investigation after I have typed this out you also did not capitalize the first letter in your sentence. Please acknowledge this mistake as well and let me know you will not be doing this in the future.
>>
>>734492814
I hear stories from ppl I drink with...it makes a difference but its nothing we cant handle...have you ever drank with a real ass WI mother fucker
>>
>>734492934
yUo can fuck, right Off? their you can stick that's on you're pipe and smoked it
>>
>>734492936
>have you ever drank with a real ass WI mother fucker
yes, have you ever drank on a real ass airplane mother fucker?
>>
>>734492493
Yeah, but what is too drunk? I've flown with my step-dad before and he cleaned the flight out of jack and diets.
>>
>>734492934
>>734493112
kek nice troll
>>
>>734493216
take it easy chief Ill be fine...I wasnt gunna be trowing down a 6 pack before the flight or anything
>>
>>734493232
>cleaned the flight out
you know that's what they tell people when they cut them off, right?
>>
>>734492868
uhhh....what?
>>
>>734493232
Honestly, it depends on the crew and air marshals. If you are obviously drunk, and reek of alcohol, I would never let you on the plane. If you look fine, maybe a little tipsy, you should be fine. But keep in mind, my airline (United) and most others have a policy forbidding us from allowing intoxicated people on board, so don't over-do it.
>>
>>734492827
Sure, why not?
>>
>>734493292
>wasnt gunna be trowing down a 6 pack before the flight
and you call yourself a real ass WI mother fucker smh
>>
>>734493427
>obviously drunk, and reek of alcohol, I would never let you on the plane
this is actually a crime in itself just to allow a drunk person on to a plane
>>
>>734493430
lol i dont have any drugs other than weed and dont know where to find any...how bout yourself?
>>
>>734493370
Except for the other folks who were on the flight getting pissed because there wasn't any left. I didn't realize just how bad his alcoholism was at this point. It's the kind of alcoholism where they don't even seem drunk until they're 10 in.
>>
>>734493473
im not saying I couldnt...just my first time flying and all
>>
>>734493112
Oh man no way I will be sleeping tonight without a correction or two from you. Could you please be a decent human being and at least own up to your mistakes? I truly would love to get a good night of rest but I highly doubt it after this encounter.
>>
I know it has probably been said already but DO NOT bring weed to the airport. Every time I've been to Vegas I've had at least a few guys offer to sell me weed and I wasn't even looking for it. It's not worth the risk to bring a goddamn brownie, there are dogs in the security line most time I fly, and I fly probably 6 times a month.
>>
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MFW OP jumps through hoops to get weed on board then gets super drunnk and gets arrest leading to then finding the weed anyway
>>
>>734493427
>>734493562
He must know this, he was only 4 or 5 in when he boarded, then basically had a flight attendant hover for the entire serving window.
>>
>>734493642
pussy
>>
>>734493565
You are definitely barking up the wrong tree. I've never even puffed on a cig.
>>
>>734486327
Dude just throw a sack in a checked bag lol
>>
>>734493660
Oh man no way I will be sleeping tonight without YOU SUCKING MY COCK. Could you please be a decent human being and at least LICK MY BALLS? I truly would love to get a good night of rest but I highly doubt it after this encounter
>>
>>734493895
damn it now u gunna make me get hammered
>>
>>734493990
Give me your kik and we can take this offline.
>>
>>734494073
yeah hammered like a bitch ass 12 year old
>>
>>734494108
Are you trying to actually suck his dick?
>>
>>734494153
>>734493895

Don't provoke a 'sconie. We have 7 of the 10 drunkest cities in the U.S.
>>
>>734494108
>>734494212

This is not me for the record I will be doing no such thing. I am a straight male and do not indulge in homosexual activities. I find it quite rude that >>734493990 refuses to be a decent human being in my time of need. I thought this website had changed for the better but I will NOT give up hope.
>>
>>734493660
Oh man! No way will I be able to sleep tonight without one or two corrections from you. Will you please be a decent human being or at least own up to your mistakes? I would truly like to have a good night of rest but I highly doubt that I will after this encounter.

fixd
>>
>>734487231
>are you high or just dumb
>>734486327
>in WI
>state further than Chicago

Just dumb. Everyone in Wisconsin is literally retarded. That he posted a pic of that royal douchebag Aaron Rogers, maybe the biggest asshole and fakest of fakes in all of sports, which said Wisfag obviously worships, should tell you just how dumb he is.
>>
>>734494212
No, I was actually just shitposting trying to change the tone of the conversation for my own amusement, unfortunately.

>>734494409
This man and I are completely different people.
>>
>>734494467
I don't appreciate the ribbing you are trying to give me at the moment. I am here for self improvement and to clear this posters conscience. Do you really think I can sleep tonight without that correction?
Thread posts: 103
Thread images: 8



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