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Where is the weirdest place you've ever rubbed one off?

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 87
Thread images: 7

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Where is the weirdest place you've ever rubbed one off?
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>>734458014
A trail in the middle of the woods
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>>734458014
in your dad's ass
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>>734458014
Forest behind my friends house, with him.
We literally stood on either side of a tree and came onto a broken log
Not gay tho
>>
A hotels public sauna
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>>734458014
In ur mom's pussy lol
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>>734459302

definitely fucking gay

faggot
>>
>>734458014
School library to Mayan statues of naked women
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>>734459360
No u
>>
in the street while doing the crab walk
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Sitting in a cubicle while on the phone with a customer for stupid mail order shit. Was intense because a coworker was sitting maybe 10ft away.
>>
Plane bathroom

I used to jerk off under the table in the library at my university while people walked by

On the school bus in middle school

Once in university classroom at night on the professors desk.
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>>734460256
Everyone has jerked off in a plane bathroom at least once in their life
>>
- Plane bathroom
- In my airline seat with a stranger asleep next to me (was dark and had blanket)
- At work hundreds of times
- In my car hundreds of times
- Shopping centre toilets
- At university a few times
- On a train (once), was empty
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>>734460333
Most people haven't been on a fucking plane once in their life.
>>
Graveyard 3 times
Field next to a holiday camp
Into a urinal
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>>734459302

>not gay tho

I don't know if I've ever known someone to be so completely wrong.
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>>734458014
turret of an rg31
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YMCA.

Was changing and decided to wank for no reason.

Have been slightly worried there are cameras in changing rooms
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>>734458014

I'm straight, but a stranger once jerked me off on a bus. When I came, he wiped it off on his boot. Neither of us spoke a word at any point. He got off the bus and I never saw him again.
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in a field just off the A417
just started looking at tits and ass while waiting to do a job
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>>734458014
Airplane bathroom (had to dump a bunch of eau de toilette on the jizz that stuck to the inside of the bowl).

Mediterranean ocean.
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A couple off the top of my head. In the cab of a boat while it was being towed. Ten minutes ago my daughter was sleeping on my chest because she was nappin while i was fappin. She woke up and it's fastest for her to go back to sleep if she lays on me but HAD to finish. I jerked off into a work place urinal. Both me and my brother jerked off in the same room watching porn in our early teens. In a cave. More?
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Church parking lot
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>>734458014
At your moms
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>>734461380
Damn it... I was going to mention a BAE Caiman in Kirkuk but you beat me to the MRAP experience. OIF 09-10, you?
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>>734461570
>I'm straight,
sorry to break it to you anon
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>>734461889
O i just remembered. On the way back from a hunting trip in the car. Dad was driving and i was laying in front passenger seat with a blanket covering me.
>>
i was injured out of P/E after a shoulder injury in school
>be me in sports medicine/trainers office right off the gym
>she leaves and nobody else in there
>im on an exercise bike just peddling away
>decide to jerk off really quick because the risk is fun
>cum on carpet floors and rub in with foot

Also have jerked off multiple times in a spanish class as a kid
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>>734461570
That's really weird. I wonder how many loads are smeared onto his boot.
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Hospital bathroom, work, middle of a field, jail.
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In the six flags changing rooms
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>>734458014
on tour in Iraq, my small infantry unit was briefly taken away from our usual job to assist with security at Shiba logistics base for 2 weeks... this consisted of some pretty dull tasks - we had 3 platoons rotating through 3 tasks for a 24 hour period each...

1 patrolling the local area around the base
2 - guarding/'stagging on' the main gate
3 sitting in a little hut on the base as part of the 'quick reaction force' should the guys on patrol nearby or on the gate need assistance.

it was dull and we didn't really have proper accommodation for this temporary task - just a couple of tents... I'd not rubbed one out for a few days.. had just had yet another 24 hours of QRF (aka sitting in a little hut and watching DVDs while in full kit) and a day of patrols, putting in the occasional vehicle checkpoint etc..

rotated onto the main gate.. couldn't rub one out in the guard room as too many people around, the portaloos stank so no good in there either... however my time came when I had to go up into the sanger (basically a big tower) overlooking the main gate and the road in the distance...

climbed into the tower and took over the gpmg, thermal imaging kit etc.. from the other guy, waited for him to climb down the ladder and get away... then unzipped and pulled it out... started fapping... gazing out into the desert in the early evening, slight breeze and the buzz you get after not having fapped for several days felt great...

then I spot a vehicle stopping in the distance, I look through the thermal imaging... sure enough guys are getting out of the vehicle and doing something to the road... I get on the net and crash out the QRF, my dick turns more into a semi at this point as I need to look at the map and give them a proper grid ref ... I relay this info to the QRF commander and give myself a few strokes. Then I carry on fapping... spraying the sandbags inside the tower just as I see the QRF reach the vechicle in the distance
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>>734461893
Me too!
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>>734462045
OEF 07-08 12-13
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Church bathroom during service.

No idea what came over me
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Test
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>>734462850
u felt the holy spirit
It used u as a vessel 4 god
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>>734462954
Youre unbanned
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>>734463036
Dude... so true
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I've had to make myself cum in a dilapidated WW2 observation post on the West coast of England... Is that weird?
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>>734463175
Well first, what is the reason you HAD to make yourself cum?
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>>734458014
rubber company guided tour
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At work in the stockroom.

Just right on to the floor.
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>>734463248

I couldn't have continued my walk if I hadn't made myself cum. x047
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>>734462850
>No idea what came over me
The priest when he watched it on the CCTV.
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When i was 13 i came into this stuck up girl's trumpet mouthpiece

Totally deserved it

Almost got caught though because the band director came into the instrument room where i was "practicing" and saw me sitting in the cubby hole where tubas go and shit and might've saw my pants unzipped

idk, worth tho
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middle of police station
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>>734462631
>Unzipped

Who are you fucking kidding?
>>
>>734463333
wow.

im not sure which one to be impressed by:

the rubber company, the guided tour, or those quads
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>be me, 13 yob
>have a weird dick
>no literally some skin on the shaft was like fused with the head so i had this "lip" of skin attached to the rim of my head creating this lil tunnel that smegma will hide inside
>at friend's condo in FL for spring break vacation
>one day in the shower decide to give a quickie
>rub-a-dub-dub
>taking a while... like too much of a while
>suddenly it's a challenge
>rub-a-dub-hyperspeed
>feel sharp and relieving pain on my dick head
>look down
>little bit of blood on my hand
>mfw the fused skin separated
>fixed my dick jerking off

Got a full abdominal and quad workout
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>>734463803
how do you mean?
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in the woods, a girl hit me at work- i rubbed one out in the bathroom. there was a guy taking a shit next to me.
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In a tree stand when I was 16
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>univeristy library
>grandma's yard
>out in the forest
>while giving a "ride" to my piggy backing 7 year old sister while I grinded the sofa
>on a trampoline
>in my mom's minivan on the way to school
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>>734458014
Is that lauren southern?
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>>734463925
Uniform

Military

Zipper
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My '71 bug broke down and my dad brought his truck and towed me home. I beat off while I was being towed because it was slow and boring. Took almost an hour on back roads.
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>>734462836
I've no real reason that I can think of, I was retired after anyhow, but I always felt like Iraq was better than Afghanistan. I think it might be because I felt more comfortable fighting in cites than mountains. Not shocking, I hate large cities now.
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>>734464157

??? I unzipped the trousers??? are you fucking dense anon?
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>>734461065
he's referring to people that arent worthless.
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>>734461872
not an ocean.
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>>734458014
Inside the primary containment of a nuclear reactor near the pressurizer.
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In a forested area of town
Wiped my cum with a leaf and continued on my merry way
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>>734459359
Savage
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>>734464157
plenty of military uniforms have zippers... not everyone posting is from the US military

especially not people who were stagging on at 'shibiza'...
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While driving on the freeway. Has anyone else done this?
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>>734464295
Im kind of pissed i missed the iraq setting. 07-08 was eastern afghanistan with tons of mountains and shoosting and 12-13 was central-west afghanistan with lots of bombs and the occasional firefight.
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In the atm line at my local bank at like 3am.
Long story short, I had taken mdma and lsd and was sort of coming off the lsd, wanted to get cigarettes but for some reason I stopped to get cash first. Was actually jacking it while driving through my gym shorts, pulled it out and finished at the atm, got my cash, went on about my way. Didn't seem odd until the next day
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>>734458014

>2004
>21 years old
>security guard
>front desk of call center
>behind small desk
>5 or 6 cute applicants waiting in lobby
>all around me
>can't resist
>slow fap
>eye contact several times
>small talk with one
>cum on floor
>rub in with boot

Probably my best fapping spot. That, or on my boss's wife 3 years before that, while we were having an affair.
>>
>>734462459
I knew a guy who claimed to have whacked it on the back of a Rollercoaster once. I wonder if it was six flags
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>>734465194
FOB Warrior was nice. The food was top notch. Haji tossed rockets at us daily tho. The crams were set, for some reason, to only fire on inbound that were going to hit the hardened structures. CHUs were open game man heh.
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>>734458014
that's Lauren Southern, right?
Shit, gonna rub one out
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>>734465736
What year were you there, I was there in 2012
>>
>>734459101
>>734459126
>>734459157
what you memeing about?
i'm new to this site.
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>>734465202
I also remember there was this really rich weird kid at my middle school. We would all go to his house because he had tons of cool shit but we would thrash his house and leave cause no one liked him. One time i told my dude to watch what I was about to do then I whacked it in his bathroom, came in my own hand, ran into his room and slapped him with my cum while he was playing Diablo. He just started crying and we all left.
>he invited me over again like a week later
>I also told his first girlfriend about it later on in high school
>he's probably real fucked up now from everything we did to him
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>>734465531
>2004
>21 yo

you must be old as fuck grandpa i can't even math this numbers
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>>734466679
He's 34 retard
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>>734458014

Was at a dog sport event a few months ago.
Almost everyone else in attendance were women
Most of them rather fit and attractive
Even though it was cold, wearing tight athletic clothes
Hadn't jerked off for many days, even though I'm usually an "at least once a day" guy
No privacy except port-a-pottys
Luckily they were brought in fresh for the event, and being cold out, not stinky.
I probably jerked off 3 times a day over the 4 day event
Not gonna lie, something kind of weird about shooting loads on the turds left by hot women
Also came all over the seat. I wiped it off, but still.
Walking around event looking at women thinking there is a good chance some of my cum is on their ass.

Yeah, I know I am fucked up in the head.
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>>734458014
rubbed on her tiny butt, in her room while visiting my co-worker
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>>734466598
Yeah I'm stumped
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Science class 4th grade
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>>734458014
long ago, sneakily in class through basketball shorts
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>>734461065
The fact that you haven't doesn't mean most people haven't.
Thread posts: 87
Thread images: 7



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