Unless you too are some scummy, shameless dick who probably deserved this, then yeah just fuck the bitch and move on.
No use wasting time on someone who wouldn't give you that same time of day.
If she cheats she's probably going to do it again. Women are sadly fickle, they constantly need something to grab their attention in order to keep the momentum (that's why eventually having kids and a family locks them down or at least seem-ably).
Some of the more shameless of the bunch though go out on their families/husbands/wives even after that.
Women don't tend to have the same sense of loyalty men do because lots we're raising women in a society that's built on "more power to you if you do it, you're a girl and you can be a strong single go-getter," and then they wonder why no one will take them seriously.
Don't mean to sound like a hater but it's true.
Either way, sorry this happened to you OP. No one deserves this sort of shit, it's a terrible feeling knowing you got passed up for some randy who'll probably end up doing justice and fucking her over too (who knows maybe he/she had an std haha, that would be sweet).
Either way I wish you the best of luck. There's a long road ahead but keep pushing forward everyday and do your best to move past her if you decide she's not worth your time (trust me, she probably isn't). Keep the peace /b/rother.
>>734403215 Same thing sort of happened to me. I let it happen though, (I think we all do unintentionally), and she didn't "really" cheat (we were on break; take that as you will), but it still felt like shit. I knew where it was going. The entire time I was asking her if we could start dating again (I was on my way to move 4 hours to where she lived and start over new), when I moved to her place. She kept reassuring me we would but I realize now all the red flags and all the "pity" words she was spewing at me.
It's tough, it's a terrible thing. I just wish people would be honest. If you don't love someone, just break it off, but people are too chickenshit (especially women who don't want to risk it), instead people choose to slowly rip the bandaid off of the cut and make it worse, only because they're too afraid of being the bad guy.
You deserve better dude. Maybe the guy's bi? (She'll get passed up again, if not then who gives a shit. It's all a psychological thing, when she gets bored of him she'll dump his ass if they do start dating).
Just do your best to press into this fact. She wasn't happy with you for a reason, but that doesn't mean there's necessarily anything wrong with you dude. You are still you, and if you do need to go back to square one and do "you" for a while on your own, I'm sure you'll find a way to make improvements where you need to, or find someone who can truly love and appreciate you for the "you" that you can be.
>>734403539 She was being honest with you. You were on a "break".
Which, I don't know if anyone has filled you in on women-talk, but "a break" is a polite word for breakup where you remain friends (and maybe even fuck buddies), but you're free to bang other people. It basically means she wants to fuck someone else or other people, but she wants to keep you on the line if it doesn't play out.
And if she suggests it, she has someone else on the line for sure.
If she suggests a break.... just stop contacting her entirely and she will usually come back, not always though. If a woman is fucking you, you gotta be able to leave, that sort of re-negotiates the exchange.... but if you just put up with any bad shit like a punk, you'll find your treatment gradually gets worse and worse with fewer and fewer good parts.
See, here's the thing about women, if she knows you're always in her corner, no matter what, she has very little incentive to ever try and keep you.
>>734402278 Do what I do, wait. Broke up with gf of 5 years, she has pics of me and threatened to use them, I have pics of her I'll leak her and to her family. We're in an awkward Cold War right now, it'll pass when we both find someone else
>>734402278 Okay anon. Buckle the fuck up and get ready to get learned.
The first thing you have to do is to gather some evidance. Even if you have to shop it, just get it. This is the second most important part.
Second, and most importantly, is to find targets to give this info to. Her mother/father, grandmother/grandfather, boss, coworkers, friends, etc. As long as it will make her miserable, give the info to them.
Step three has a few parts to it. 1 turn off your phone, or block her so she can't call or text her. 2 take a day to drive to all of your targets houses and give them the info and explain what is going on. 3 turn on your phone and watch the fireworks.
>>734403983 Yeah like I said, I didn't even realize the red flags because I had my head in the clouds. I don't plan on making the same mistakes again, and I was a moron and had friends at the time who were telling me the same thing but I didn't take their advice.
Everyone has a trainwreck. This was definitely mine.
Because of the severity of my stupidity, I did block her on literally EVERYTHING when the shit went down though (there was no salvaging it at that point, there's some other shit that was going on with our families too; lots of political crap).
I own what mistakes I made (which was pretty much the relationship as a whole anyway). I'll take that as I need to and spend probably the rest of my life trying to prove to myself that I'm going to move past it. It'll happen eventually but by that time I'll be an old fart living by myself, unmarried and in some home somewhere being carted around by highschool aged orderlies.
Thanks for the input either way. I disrespected myself and now I'm paying for it. I understand this but this is hard to get past because I really had nothing better and (take my word for it) I don't think I'll get anything better at this point in my life. >>734403726 Read the above post that I'm quoting. There's some weird rules about dating that I only learned about recently, (dude I'm 28 and I've also only had one relationship; I'm a pretty pathetic piece of shit).
I'd say block her ass and cut off some contact. Either she'll realize what she's missing and come back (at which point you can keep her on a leash & fuck with her), or she'll move on and give you the chance to do so).
Listen to your better judgement. If you think you can fix it (I can't really give you any confidence that you will), then you can stay but 9/10 there's nothing you can do to really moved past a cheating situation unless you have other incentives (such as a family/money/children), to keep her on that leash.
I watched that with my girlfriend. Fuck the whole thing was fucking gay. Just listen to the tapes and fucking pass them on. Why the fuck would you ask questions when you can just LISTEN TO THE FUCKING TAPES. It shouldn't fucking take months to listen to 13 cassette tapes. Goddamn.
>>734404368 By turning a blind eye, only way you can. She knows lots of really, really incriminating shit about me. Was at work when we broke up and all the stuff went through my head what could go wrong. Focus on the positives and you'll move on. My positives was I liked her personality but her looks were below average, I know what can do better. And of course the collateral pics of her if she tried any shady bs.
>>734402278 Move on with your life bro, you don't need anyone like that. There are other girls out there. Just now managing to feel attracted to women again after a similar situation. you'll pull through just don't allow your emotions to guide your thoughts and actions.
>>734403067 speaking from experience, the act of exercise can be a good distraction, and the pyhisical improvment cant be a huge boost to your self control, but be warned that sometimes you can use her cheating to boost your workout it can also, really leave you drained.
Having said that the hardest part of being cheated on will be the feeling that of betrayal of your trust, where you felt like you knew this other person enough to allow them into your life only for them to disregard you almost casually for the sake of their own personal satisfaction.
Realize there is nothing you can do, and any moment with them will be like a poison for a while because you will always long for what you had only for any attempt to reclaim that feeling be poisoned and ruined by the memory of their actions.
Its a special kind of hell but, in time you get over it. Just think of it this way brother at least you found out she is a cheating cunt before you wasted ten years of your life on them..
Having multiple sexual partners does far more psychological damage to women than to men, so keep in mind that she will fuck up every relationship she ever has while you have the potential to find someone better and settle down.
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