Starting an addiction or recovering addict thread. What's your story?
I've been doing any drug I can since I was 17 (I'm 27 now). Coke, pills, meth, whatever I can get.
My liver is pretty fucked up but I the times I tried to quiet life got so gray and boring that is not worth it.
>never considered trying drugs
>all of a sudden considered
>start smoking pot
>start dropping acid
>ff 5 years
>well pot and acid are fine I guess all this War on Drugs crap is bullshit - what can I do now?
>start doing coke
>get into xanax
>get into opiates
>become full-blown cokehead
>ff 5 years
>shit I'm kinda fucked up
>go to rehab
>stay clean for 10 years
>start smoking pot again
>start drinking lean
>start taking RC benzos
>quit everything except pot
SHOULD HAVE LEFT WELL ENOUGH ALONE.
Im at a treatment center right now, my DOC is opiates. Always thought i'd be able to kick it on my own but when your life gradually crumbles down its difficult to become clean and then have to deal with normal life stuff as well.
8 months sober now.
I'm a recovering meme addict. I used to go around /b/ in search of the freshest memes. Then one day my mom said, "Stop going online 12 hours a day. You should socialize with REAL PEOPLE!" I then quit for 5 minutes. That was the most horrible 5 minutes in my life. Now, I'm searching for more memes to get that euphoric state.
blast the volume:
Thanks! Feels good to be able to focus on hobbies and education again.
hail Gavin & Uncle
Gavin talking about Terry & Vincent Gallo https://youtu
in that video Gavin is referring to this:
Suddenly it had become fashionable to link liberalism with weakness and conservatism with honesty. Underground film iconoclast Vincent Gallo (“Buffalo 66,” “Palookaville,” “Goodfellas”) is now quoting Nixon and Reagan as if they were Wordsworth and Yeats. Fashion photographer Terry Richardson (Gucci, Sisley, Levi’s) is showing up at conservative book launches and publicly trashing Clinton.
>Slam meth every 3 days for 2 years
>Almost lose my whole life due to loans, pawns, and job
>Move to Seattle out of desperation
>Can't establish contacts due to paranoia and fear of niggers
>Clean for a month
I dream of that shit every night but I gotta keep moving forward. Seeing homeless people shoot up in the bus doesn't help.
no such thing as sex addiction
cumming is life
I'm a addicted in bruises and burns. I try to many as I can
>be 15yo me
>hide the bike down the road at light speed
>start losing control over it
>fall like a sack of shit
>bruises the entire arm pretty badly
>look at it and think it's nice looking
>fast-forward 2y and a half
>bruises the body with sand paper sometimes
>start going creative and put some cigarettes on skin
>try beating himself at the wall and shit
>gets questioned about the appearance
>says got in a fight
>keep going till this day
i know how you feel. I used to get such a rush just watching people bang speed. Guess i still will i just try to stay away from those situations.
Anyways it will make you stronger in the long run. Just keep pushing.
I got sober for 3 months in AA so they would give me a key to open the meeting. The meeting was held in its own separate building so I was able to drink in their with no consequences.
The bundle was ten tiny plastic bags of beige powder wrapped with wax paper and stamped with a skull and crossbones. Dealers like branding their product as much as any small business owner and want you to know exactly who it was that got you so high.
Suroosh told me that whenever he heard someone OD'd, he and his junkie friends would run over to the guy's house hoping to find out what brand the guy was doing, because it must be some really good shit.
Started smoking pot at 16. By 17 was starting to fuck around with party designer drugs and was into the rave scene for a good 4 years. Hella e, coke, ketamine and psychedelics. Finally get around to trying opiates, smoking Oxys and whatnot (80's were still around). Eventually leads to shooting dope. Selling for years making money and supporting my habit. Decided to quit before anything of real consequence happened. Been clean for a couple months now.
Got out alive and without a record. Feels good man.
That superlative rush just on the cusp of each day ,chase the dragon,
Chase it, I'm riding on her back!
Look no hands.
Heroin is my heroin.
then on day i woke up, and the dragon was chasing me.
He said New York was a perfect skating setting and he met a lot of people in New York through skateboarding. “A lot of the artists we started to show came out of that world. But I didn’t really know any artists.” Among those to come out of that early skate scene – centered in Tompkins Square Park – were Harmony Korine and Chloe Sevigny. “The art thing was always secondary, it was always more like, you skate, I skate, let’s hang out.”
But he points out that the Alleged Gallery was never set up as a money-making business. “It was just where we lived – me and my friends lived there, in the gallery.” The area was known for its pervasive drug use and Rose said his group actually started designing the heroin bags, the art for the stamps on the bags, in exchange for being left alone in the neighborhood.
Rose also talks about Larry Clark, director of the film Kids, and how the movie impacted the scene. ”A lot of that whole scene of people who were hanging out together, that was the cast of Kids, essentially,” he recalled, adding that Clark brought in a few well-seasoned actors, but for the most part, it was the same group of skater kids they all knew.
So its not an economical problem for you yet? Its difficult to quit before you have been pushed into debt/poverty or health problems.
Have you tried any natural stimulants? Like coca leafs and stuff like that? Cant compare it to real drugs but some people manage to cope with it. Depends wether you are willing to settle for something less exciting though.
>what is that ?
lord GAVIN having a few bumps of H
Nope, stimulants actually help with my job so no money problems so far.
I've tried coca leaves once but the taste and smell killed it for me.
I'm moving to another city soon so I probably lay it off for a bit while I'm dealerless.
Gavin McInnes speaks for a second about the time Harmony was going to cut Terry Richardson
BTW, Gavin totally got that part about Harm not knowing T-Bone was a junkie at the time, 100% wrong.
there are many photographs for proof that T-Bone was hanging with Harm around the time they both started smoking heroin and snorting blow.
my guess is that Harm was going to cut T-Bone over some bad drug deal or because he was going to leak his nudes:
he is basically referring to Harm there +there were a few models/actresses that were pissed at T-Bone for "leaking" shots they didn't approve of.
also, earlier that week on Gavin's show, he was talking about his memory of those days not being so good, so that is why he totally fucked up about Harm not knowing T-Bone was going to nod out all day
!!!!!!!!!!please let everyone know that Uncle forced Kirsten Dunst to spread her legs for McInnes:
Ah, i see. Have you tried Ypadu? Its grinded up coca leaves mixed with some stuff to make it more potent. Comes in a powder and works reallly well. You can put it in your cheeks and suck on it like coca leafs, eat it or snort it (very unpleasant). But its a Godsent for stimulant addicts.
If taste is a problem its possible to put it in capsules. It tastes a bit like liqorice.
Anyways, good luck with moving and starting a new life!
BRUCE: Don't you have a Robert Downey Jr. story?
TERRY: We were like nine or ten and we smoked weed and played "Cream the Carrier."
BRUCE: What's that?
TERRY: You know, you run around and tackle each other and get the person into a position until they say "Uncle." I didn't see him again until years later, I was 22 and running these underground clubs in LA - Viva La Revolution and Dr. T's - and he came into one of them.
BRUCE: Where were those clubs?
TERRY: Downtown. MacArthur Park and below was where all the cool underground clubs were. The '80s in L.A. were really amazing and decadent.
BRUCE: So-Cal punk is legendary.
TERRY: Yeah, I saw The Germs and Black Flag when I was a little kid.
Been an addictionologist for 17 years, shooting H for the last ten. I've been in and out of rehab/detox at least ten times. I'm actually getting everything sorted out to go back to a place in Mexico on Monday for Ibogaine treatment then sober living after that. I started doing H when I was 18 or 19 n I had no idea what a true physical addiction looked like otherwise I think I probably wouldn't have started, it only took a week or 2 for the physical symptoms to start to manifest, being violently Ill throwing up every muscle in my body hurting and aching feeling like my bones are trying to force their way out of my body back feels like it's being crushed in a vice wHile burning up but somehow feeling like there's a layer of frost on me all within a couple hours of waking up n not getting high. Then there's not being able to eat or sleep without it either. I wanthink some control and some freedom back in my life not being tethered to my area cuz this is where the dope man lives,be able to spend my money on whatever I want instead of every dollar going into my veins.
I really feel like that's true. With time comes motivation and hope. I have the best job I've had in my entire life and my son was just born. Fuck, even just smelling grass is pretty decent.
Weed helps as well and I've even cutting way back on that.
> deeply closeted homo
> drugs because Fuck normies
> do heroin & methadone and everything for 8 years
> dream of becoming scarface
> actually start being scarface, ppl all over town want to kill me
> have nervous breakdown
> drugs stop working, don't numb any emotional pain anymore
> quit drugs completely by religious conversion.
> still have herpes from loving unclean women
> still have hepatitis C
> still have needle scars everywhere
> blank job resume
yeah.. that was totally worth it
> regret life
H withdrawals are very interesting because it really shows the temperamental nature of the human condition. Things like feeling your own spinal compression and the friction wear on your own joints, these are things that happen no matter what. So why is it that we are numb to those pains normally but when experiencing withdrawal from a painkiller? Shouldn't the pain just be more pronounced than normal rather than seemingly coming from nowhere?
>blank job resume
So build it.
You think you're the only one?
>Still not using a condom
You might be retarded.
Do you have the balls to stay clean? Religious conversion is such a weird path I've seen people take. You really do have to hit the bottom of the bottom to do that moronic shit.
But good job.
My story is shared by many, and is painfully dull compared to people on hard drugs
>be freshman in college
>only drank a few times at parties
>roomie introduces me to pot
>get nervous about doing something so illegal
>friend lies to me by saying it's synthetic, which was legal at the time.
>smoke,don't get too high, but fast food is tasting amazing
>proceed to smoke throughout my college career
>the highs are potent and my imagination and mood soars
>buy my own piece and weed and start doing it alone
>after months of heavy usage, the lustre is lost
>be today, two years graduated
>weed is daily, but the high is always weak
>gets me anxious and self deprecating but feel so bored when sober
>no tolerance break is longer than a week
>feel profoundly bored with weed as it is normalized in my life
>accept it, and know that at least I will never move onto harder drugs such as meth or coke
>take shrooms every few months to obliterate depression and apathy
>live life like a normie
Weed is alright, but I always feel like I'm chasing those early days of highness, when everything was vibrant, funny, and special.
Man, I can't jerk off or have sex with anyone without a line of good old crystal. I take full accountability for that. But every time I start going through a porn site my mind associates a 20 right up the nostril. Then 8 hours of unbelievably nasty wanking/sex.
What's a good alternative?
yep, how did you find out?
Yeah, after a while weed just makes you feel burnt out and hazy all the time.
Get more exercise, it will cause the THC in your fat to enter your blood stream and in turn trick your brain into thinking exercise is the thing causing this awesome feeling. Once that stops working rotate in a bowl.
Try green tea. Lots of mental health boosts from that as well.
I think it is not completely impossible but it is a much deeper question than it seems on the surface. The way that addiction is viewed currently has major flaws that don't line up with the reality of how an addicted brain operates. It is possible to be immune from addiction but I do not believe that it is possible at our current point of understanding the neural drive for addiction. Once advancements are made and we can better understand these things I think addiction will be a whole different situation than it is today.
Well since I was 13 I've been smoking and drinking. Started doing harder shit like Molly and acid when I was 15. Now I just can't stand being sober for too long. If I have nothing available to me I will do pills, cough syrup, etc. I started doing all this to numb depression and I've got to say, I don't have many regrets.
Used to eat 3 of these things every few days. Switched to meth once a dude on Craigslist let me try it. Quit both eventually. Almost 45 days sober.
I feel you anon. Most of my money that's not for food and bills goes to alcohol and cigarettes. The additional tax on tobacco here in California has made my financial troubles worse. Fucking faggots.
>count the dopes who slide down the slimy drain,,,oh no not me,,unh unh,,NEVERNEVERNEVER
bullshit! anyone can become like Uncle \m/
fuck Cali, with all their nigger libshits and cuck race-traitors!
Jerry Brown is a filthy kike and their wetback spic mayor sucks his heeb baby cock!!
DAY OF THE ROPE FOR ALL LEFTIST SCUM............
Well only other way I know to connect with people is to take acid and that only works with very close friends. Most of them have their own lives by now and I wish they were here with me.... I know I'll be alright in a few months, but this is fucking hard.
Thanks anon. Exercise truly is the best drug out there. I fell off the horse a few years back when I graduated and have since battled with depression. But I recently got a gym membership and am slowly trying to work towards those good old days. When I have a bowl, I want to feel like I've earned it, after work, working out, and responsibilities in general. Smoking daily while I had shit to do has only made me feel unmotivated and blue.
Go make some new friends then or hang out with ones you aren't close with and become better friends. You like drinking? Hit up some bars and meet new people. Maybe you'll even pick up a new whore.
blast the volume:
Yeah this place sucks. I live in NorCal. The people up here are decent. We all hate the Socal leeches that just take all our resources and then decide the state's elections for us. We are the ones that work and take care of the state and in return we are fucked over by all of the socal faggot's decisions. It's not fair. It is literal tyranny of the majority.
She knew the path to my heart. We went and smoked together and I couldn’t stop staring at her. She was so young and sweet and beautiful. Candy was innocent but open and eager for new experiences. I was far from the most responsible guide. In December of that year, she was with me for most of the five straight days I spent holed up at the Ramada on Lexington Avenue in New York, smoking PCP.
PCP also known as Angel Dust is as powerful as any drug I’ve ever done. It’s in the same class as ketamine, but more unpredictable. Your emotions become magnified. You might have trouble speaking, or become uncoordinated or affectionate or angry or psychotic, or some combination of all these things. It’s almost like having an out-of-body experience, and it can go on for days and days after you finish smoking it. Candy and I were having such a fucked-up trip that on the fifth day we actually threw the rest of the PCP out the hotel window.
For all the bad experiences I’ve had on ketamine, I never once threw any away. I felt the effects of that PCP for at least a week afterward. It’s all chronicled in a video called PCP Saved My Life that was eventually packaged along with my third DVD, Out on Bail. In this PCP video, I run around, talking a mile a minute about how much I love everybody, how I make people happy for a living, and all the “miracles” that are happening all around me.
Yeah, man. Make it a reward at the end of the day or after a particularly difficult thing you have to do that day. Never before to cope with it, but afterwards so your brain associates better performance with a reward.
You will rewire yourself to be that way if you just picture it first in your mind. Always see yourself doing it and make the appropriate steps needed to get there.
Also, cut the gym and find a good hiking trail. Will save you money and is arguably better for you. Nature rewards you with its beauty you just gotta get to a point where you can appreciate it.
I heard that Terry Richardson was doing the photo shoot for this piece. Did you see his book, Terryworld? Did you look through it? And are you going to show your dick in this photo shoot?
Uh, Terry might already have some photos of that! [both laugh]
What luck for the editors of GENRE! Well, Terry’s is a great book. He always shows his own dick! It seems like he’s the only photographer who, judging from his book, shows up nude with a hard-on to take your picture. That’s a refreshing new twist, I guess, in a shoot.
Yeah, he’s got a monster cock on him, for sure. And his assistant, Keiichi, will stand there with his cock out, playing with it, while Terry’s shooting.
steve O ~
""In the summer of 2004, I was in the back of a cab, riding through New York City, when my cell phone rang. It was Knoxville. “Hey, I’m at Terry Richardson’s studio,” he told me. “He wants to do a bukkake shoot and we’re just a few cocks short. You game?” Bukkake, for the uninitiated, is when several dudes shoot their loads on one girl. Of course I was game. Terry Richardson is a famous—or, perhaps, infamous—photographer known for his extremely risqué, sexually graphic photo shoots. I’d met him the year before when he shot press photos for the Lollapalooza tour. We’d hit it off pretty well. When I arrived at his studio that afternoon, Knoxville immediately made it clear that he, personally, wanted no part of this photo shoot. When Terry explained the concept to me, I understood why. He wanted a photo of me pulling a girl’s hair while I shot a load on her face and someone else pointed a gun at her head. Knoxville later told me he had no idea a gun would be involved. Regardless, the whole thing sounded fine to me. The girl in question was a young-looking model—I was assured that she wasn’t too young—and soon she went to work giving me a blow job.""
""I had her hair in my hand but having someone holding a gun to her head was really throwing me off. As I’ve said, I’m quick on the draw, but something about a dude holding a gun was not particularly arousing. We devised a solution: once I reached the point of no return, so to speak, I’d call for the gun to be brought into the frame. So that’s how I came to be yelling “Gun! Gun! Gun!” one beautiful summer afternoon in Manhattan as some dude brought a pistol to the head of a young model whose face I was about to cum on. I know: classy. Later that same night I met a gorgeous Danish model named May Andersen. Knoxville knew her somehow and brought me along to her birthday party at the Gansevoort Hotel. He introduced us, we got fucked up together, and I spent that night with her in her hotel room. May was only twenty-two but already a reasonably big deal in the modeling world. She’d been in Victoria’s Secret catalogs and two Sports Illustrated swimsuit issues. We didn’t really have a ton in common beyond the fact that we both liked to party—hard—but we ended up dating for the next six months or so. Looking back on it, I probably wasn’t ready for a serious relationship at that point in my life. I mean, I don’t know if the fact that just a few hours earlier I’d been getting my cock sucked by a complete stranger while someone held a gun to her head automatically meant that my relationship with May was doomed to fail, but it probably didn’t help.""
first read this:
mainly opiates and benzos but I'll take pretty much anything, trying to stop taking benzos daily atm and stop doing oxy once or twice every week since thats how i started with where I am with benzos
ended up doing morphine and valium today because I needed something to help bring me down and level me out from a big speed binge
Anonymous I WILL HATERAPE YOU I WILL HATERAPE YOU / I WILL HATERAPE YOU I WILL HATERAPE YOU / I WILL HATERAPE YOU I WILL HATERAPE YOU (Wed) I WILL HATERAPE YOU I WILL HATERAPE YOU : I WILL HATERAPE YOU I WILL HATERAPE YOU : I WILL HATERAPE YOU I WILL HATERAPE YOU No. I WILL HATERAPE YOU I WILL HATERAPE YOU I WILL HATERAPE YOU I WILL HATERAPE YOU I WILL HATERAPE YOU I WILL HATERAPE YOU I WILL HATERAPE YOU I WILL HATERAPE YOU I WILL HATERAPE YOU ▶
>> I WILL HATERAPE YOU I WILL FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT
This is just ridiculous. Except it's fucking horrible. It's very easy to justify what he does, but in the end it's what it is: he fucks those girls coming from fuckknowswhere promising them everything, but obviously it's all a lie, every fucking girl that came through his office was a victim. There are now probably hundreds of them. I don't think it's the worst thing in the world to be fucked by some grose dude, but he's still a predator. Fuck that shit.
>started smoking weed at 15
>basically only that and alcohol throughout high school
>turns out a large group of my stoner friends were also huge methheads
>the largely innocent half of our friends get into meth, including myself
>at first the stuff was great, long lasting intense high
>after months of smoking that shit everyone was hitting new lows aside from a couple people who outright stopped after the first week or so
>methhead girlfriend at the time starts cheating and doing stupid shit
>so pissed at her that I go into cocoon mode and ignore everyone and stop doing drugs
>as I withdraw from meth realize how badly it affected me physically and mentally, but especially mentally
>beg friends to stop smoking meth
>some do some don't
>the ones that didnt quit are all homeless theives and tramps
>ex became a prostitute and apparently got raped by a bunch of niggers at gunpoint
>once in a great while I'll hit a bubble then by the end of the high I feel like shit and remember why I quit.
Now I just stick to weed/vidya/munchies, so much better than getting fucked up on hard drugs and doing out of pocket shit. Still fuck with lsd/shrooms on rare occasions though.
you can lie to yourself all you want but deep down you know the truth...that all predators are the best people to walk the planet, THEY TRULY ARE GODS!
do not praise KEK instead drop to your knees and bow to lord T-BONE.....the 1 and only true Monster-Cock-Messiah \m/
>This is just ridiculous. Except it's fucking horrible. It's very easy to justify what he does, but in the end it's what it is: he fucks those girls coming from fuckknowswhere promising them everything, but obviously it's all a lie, every fucking girl that came through his office was a victim. There are now probably hundreds of them. I don't think it's the worst thing in the world to be fucked by some grose dude, but he's still a predator. Fuck that shit.
poor b8 fag8
it sounds too much like a jezebel feminist female dog
THOUGH I DO PRAY EVERY DAY THAT LORD TERRY WILL START SHOOTING JUST LIKE LORD DAVID HAMILTON
what are your thoughts on this webm, blast the volume:
>every fucking girl that came through his office was a victim
i fucking hope so
but most those $lut$ were too old
Uncle should have fucked them all when they were even younger
Uncle bleached their skins white just like Wako Jacko
Just a 22 programmer who smoke weed every day since I was 20.
Fuck, I'm late to the party 27 alcy/ rec druggy (any thing less smack goes)
Haven't actually dropped anything.
Still in that sweet stage where your doctor tells you to keep drinking and just cut down because it's dangerous to go cold turkey.
What did I miss?
dude check this amazing set:
nah m8, trust me he is smoking H \m/
>Just an arrogant douche
how so? proof??
i need proof
did you suck him?
lmao i thought i was "immune" to getting addicted to opiates. I had it under control... or so i thought. pain pills are just the stepping stones, welcome to a long ugly road of heroin addiction.
>pain pills are just the stepping stones, welcome to a long ugly road of heroin addiction
believe it or not, a fkn anon told me that shit in 2009 and i laughed and said not me motherfucker
a year later i was shooting the shit up my arm. Been clean 2 years now... feelsgoodman