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Stupidest shit you ever did when horny v2 >post ur greentxt

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 134
Thread images: 33

Stupidest shit you ever did when horny v2

>post ur greentxt
>>
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>catholic
>become altar boy age 9
>discover masturbation age 10
>communion wafers come in these sheaths of like 100 or something
>they are sealed in these plastic sheaths
>so many wafers are distributed every mass
>the sheaths are discarded afterwards
>be the altar boy all these years
>now I'm taking the discarded plastic sheaths home
>they are a good diameter to fit a dick inside
>lube up my tool
>fuck the communion wafer sheath
>rinse it out, repeat 10x
>use a new one
>it felt pretty good to hump a mattress wearing a wafer sheath
>never any regrets, unrelated I'm agnostic now
>>
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Story time, flashback to '08
>Be me, 17, beta af
>First day of senior year
>Have huge crush on qt3.14, Gina
>Also have what I call triple-threat
>Feet/socks/tickling fetish
>Surprising amount of related porn
>Beat my shit daily, can't discuss fetish with normies for obvious reasons
>Private school, lame ass uniforms, at least I can see when girls wear crazy socks (fuzzy and knee-high ones in winter got me rock hard)
>Gina's in homeroom
>Rocking Christmas socks, snowmen and stripes
>Already at half-mast, barely 8am
>Her friends call her out, she owns it
>"Yeah these were my only clean ones, check em bitches"
>Gina's parading around, shoes off, starting carols w/people all morning
>Think about Ann Coulter to suppress boner
>Longest fucking day
>After class, w/Gina & peeps in 2nd floor gym
>Peeps leave, me and Gina alone
>Can't stop staring at her socks
>Boner is gaining on me
>Let slip "Cool socks G"
>lol "Thanks anon"
>iwanttotickleherfeetsobadly
>Sits back , phone in hand, not paying attention
>CROSSES LEGS, TAKES SHOES OFF
>It’s all boner now
>ohfuck.jpeg
>Isn’t she kinda asking for it tho
>Fuck just do it, be bold, maybe she'll be into it
>Grab her ankle and pull into my lap
>Drops her phone, looks at me like 'wtf'
>Tickle her foot vigorously
>Feelssogoodman
>She laughs, kicks me, notices my boner in my pants
>"ANON WHAT THE FUCK"
>No words
>Can only manage "I wanted to see something, sry"
>Grab my shit and run, skip class next day
>Quiet spot in woods, beat my dick like it owes me money
>Pic: Found on fb years later, still have it saved
>I fucked up
>>
>>734272286
fuck me, thats a great story, also your a fucking moron
>>
>>734271700

>Be me
>14 horny as fuck
>Saw some good as plant hentai
>"Damn i want a plant to fuck me with its flowery thick necter.
>Sneak outside at 11pm
>Get random leaves and shit
>lube em up and put em on my dick
>Boner intensified and i came.


To this day i don't know what the fuck i was on, but that hentai is still great.
>>
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>>734272548
The aftermath wasn't all that bad IIRC. I apologized to Gina and she just laughed it off. Didn't stop the whispers/rumors though. Btw this is her
>>
>>734272286
Wow, that was enlightening, thanks. how long were you in private school for? I was in private catholic school for 9 years and the girls all wore socks + skirts until 6th grade, then they started wearing pants so we couldn't see their socks as often. I suppose there was the occasional skirt in 7th/8th grade but not as memorable I guess as the younger years. 7th and 8th grade moved on to the legs and ass
>>
That feeling after you jerk off to something weird sucks man
>>
>>734272898
I jerked to a guy fucking a dog in its vag

No regrets
>>
>>734272800
Nice, i'd tickle her feet, glad nothing came of it, thats the kinda shit that could stick to you for years
>>
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>>734272595
creative mind on this one
>>
>>734272800
Nice. You're most certainly an autist, op but in all fairness she's pretty hot and I'd want to see her feet too.
>>
>>734272154
So they're just plastic? Theres no give to them at all ? sounds like that would rip your dick. Post a pic of christ sheath.
>>
>>734273017
Gross
>>
>>734272873
All four years of high school. Girls in fuzzy or knee high socks in the winter months, especially taller girls with long legs, unf.
>>
banged a horse.
>>
>>734273017
I have done that but it was a horse.
No regrets.
>>
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>>734273020
She had these too, also found on her fb.
>>
>>734273390
Shit skin?
>>
>think about Ann coulter to suppress boner
>>
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>>734273161
Yeah she's a babe.
>>
>>734273499
What do you think her feet would smell like?
>>
Idk why but when I get drunk I choke girls so much when I do stuff with them and don't have any fetish for it when I am sober. I have no control over it and it just happens with me not knowing it. Most girls seem to like it though. I just don't understand how something that never even really crossed my mind happens almost everytime
>>
>>734272286
>beat my dick like it owes me money
Kek
>>
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>>734273020
Would you tickle these by any chance? It's not Gina but also someone I know
>>
>>734273698
I'm not much of a feet man, but i can appreciate those
>>
>>734272595
... couldn't think of anything for the thread but I'm trying this now.
>>
>>734273485
What are you talking about bby
Ann coulter counteracts my ED
>>
>>734273178
well it's like a thin plastic bag the diameter of a communion wafer, about 10 inches long. so you can 100 in there and plenty of your tool in there plus lube.
>>
>>be 13
>>like jerking off with lotion during summer
>>hate it during winter, lotion is too cold on my dick
>>middle of winter
>>horny as fuck for a lubed beat off sesh
>>have 13 year old style retarded idea
>>microwave the lotion
>>feels ok to the touch
>>turns out it wasn't
>>burn the fuck outta my dick with lotion i had put in the microwave
>>fuckingretarded.jpg
>>
jerked off next to a gay dude in a sauna
>>
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>>734274014
communion wafer, imagine the packaging for these things, like a tube. they don't come in a potato chip bag necessarily
>>
>>734273591
I imagine they'd be very pleasant. She runs and dances on a daily basis, but is also very into pedicures/taking care of fer feet.
>>
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>>734273824
How about these? (just something I picked up off of a quick google search)
>>
>>734274271
That doesn't answer my question.
>>
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>>734274014
Oh it's a plastic bag I thought you meant a solid tube (like pringles come in or something). sounds awesome, you ever fill one up over multiple loads so you could put it in the freezer and make a cum lightsaber?
>>
>>734274416
They probably smell very pleasant, thinking maybe lavender.
>>
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had something like this happen once before at a younger age when I first learned soap+urethra=suffering, but wasn't as bad as this one.
>be like 12 or 13, don't remember
>discovered masturbation around 10 or 11 I think
>in shower
>jerkin it with hand towel
>get weird idea to use some sponge I found on the soap shelf
>not really a sponge, like thick foam chunk
>for some reason start vigorously rubbing head of dick with sponge
>stop and use it around dick to get off
>eventually finish, everything normal
>as I'm getting out of shower dick starts to hurt
>no big deal it does that sometimes after I shower
>pain doesn't stop
>really hurts
>holding in cries of pain
>look down, little blood comes out
>whathaveidone.fuckingkillme
>stand in bathroom for like half an hour waiting for pain to stop
>doesn't
>eventually say fuck it and limp awkwardly to my room not letting my dick rub my pants
>pain goes down a little, still really bad
>eventually go tell my dad something along the lines of hey my penis really hurts I don't know why
>not that blunt, didn't directly mention anything but he knew what I meant
>asks me if I was masturbating
>not accusatory but still scared as fuck
>umnowhatsthat.bullshit
>basically say i must have cleaned too hard or some retarded excuse
>don't know if he bought it, didn't matter
>try to go sleep, can't because dick continues to be smitten by gods wrath
>eventually sleep
>next morning seems better at first, then I move and the pain returns
>end up going to school late, late to classes because I have to walk slow to not die of shock
>end up going home early because I can't deal
>spend rest of day in bed not moving and reconsidering my life choices
>>
>>734274528
gave me a solid kek
>>
>>734271700
I got two stories

>be me, back in 2014
>live in southeast asia as a white guy
>on tinder, looking for sluts
>find obvious tranny, but still not too bad looking
>message a day or two, get him to come over to give me a massage
>get boner because it usually happens when I get a massage
>tells me turn over
>gives me head, came everywhere
>he kept texting and calling, had to block on all social media
never meet a tranny from tinder, there's bound to be mental issues.

story two:

>same year, but a few months earlier
>on craigslist hookups section
>send a message and get an almost immediate reply
>she says she's going to bring a friend to make sure she's safe
>but the friend is trans, she's a woman though
>my cousin and one of his friends come over, we go to a close-by bar, a hippopotamus lumbers up the stairs with basically a dude in drag with huge tits
>fuck, I'm going to need a lot of booze
>order a tower of booze for the 5 of us
>I'm trying to get drunk as fast as possible so I can fuck
>we finish two towers, I pay and we all walk back to my apartment which is about two blocks away
>tell my friends and the tranny to sit out on my balcony
>give them my weed, my hookah, some cigs and a speaker to play music
>I fuck the hippo, she doesn't smell bad, which is nice
>toodrunktocum.mp4
>afterwards, she takes up my blanket, my cousin stays outside with his friend, smoking still
>tranny comes in, sits on my couch
>gives me a bit of a handjob
>we all pass out around my apartment
>wake up with raging boner, start to fuck the hippo again
>she tells me to cum in her
>fuck it, she's on the pill
>came in her twice
>tranny cooks breakfast, which is nice
>tranny and hippo leave
>cousin and friend laugh at me for fucking a fat chick
>at least I got laid

I never tell people about these stories
>>
>>734274626
>at least I got laid
s'all that matters, big girls need love too
>>
>>734274626
>gives me a bit of a handjob
faggot.
>>
>>734275029
true. I don't regret fucking her, because it's true what they say about fat girls- They make up for it by fucking like crazy. I noticed that my bed (it had wheels on the bottom and I had tile floors) had moved about a foot away from the wall.
>>734275277
checked
>calling me a faggot for one line in the second story, but not for the first
alrighty
>>
>>734274573
Holy shit, anon. What happened after?
>>
>>734271700

>be young teenage me, around 12-14 years old
>get a pillow which is shaped like a L shape
>be horny as fuck, but no lock on my door
>the only door that has a lock on it is the toilet
>i take my pillow and some books in the toilet
>my parents ask why im taking those there, i say i like reading in the toilet
>when im in the toilet i scrunch the L shaped pillow and fuck it and blow loads in it
>pretend to be reading but actually just fucking the pillow in the toilet

lmfao
>>
>be 10
>recently found stepdad's porn in shredder
>been taping them together like puzzle
>that faithful day
>out of shower
>pp is hard
>close room door and spreads shredded porn over bed to continue god's work
>neighbor's daughter came over to play
>pfft ignore
>irritated since 10 and couldn't cum
>piss all over bed in response
KOCK KOCK
>it's mum
"your friend left because you didn't come out"
>she sounds angry and might come in
>uses body to cover piss bed and shredded porn soaked in piss
>she didn't
>took second shower out of shame and piss
>>
>>734275654
nothing really, eventually healed, just kinda didn't talk about it. have this weird little extra flap of skin on the tip of my dick now, not sure if it was from that, pretty sure it was tho
>>
> be 15
> dating solid 7/10 red head
> at her house about to fuck
> take off her pants
> first time seeing a pussy IRL
> harder than a diamond
> in my fervor I say
So is it supposed to smell like this or not?
>>
I've got a good one.

>Be me, 17
>Dating girl for a year now
>Started fucking her 4 months into the relationship
>She's going to Florida on Spring Break
>We couldn't get away from her Mom to fuck before they left.
>My fucking cock is sad, man.
>Her family asked me to come feed their dog and take him for a walk everyday. I get a key to the house.
>On the third day I was dying. I as horny as shit but beating off didn't really help.
>Added note, her bestfriend and I were to trade days. My girl's BFF stayed the night there all the time and practically lived there for a short spell.
>Anyways, I finish walking the dog and go to my GF's room. I see the pair of panties laying in the floor that have been eyeing me for the past few days. Their practically begging me to put my dick on them.
>I'm instantly hard as fuck as I wrap the panties around my cock and start jerking.
>I hear a noise but I thought it was the dog.
>Her best friend comes into the room and sees me jacking off into the panties.
>No shit, man. As soon as she opened the door I made eye contact and came. I didn't do it on purpose. I was embarrassed as shit.
>"Those are my panties, anon."
>Oh shit.
>I'm fucking dead when she gets back from Florida.
>Surprisingly I never hear about it

Fast forward to the day of my wedding to my aforementioned GF. The ceremony and reception are over. My GF and her friend still talk all the time. Nothing has ever been said.

>Drunk as fuck after reception.
>Chilling with my new wife and her friend (mentioned previously) and smoking cigarettes and weed
>"Hey, anon. Do you remember when I walked in on you cumming into my panties?"
>I freeze and look at my wife with a panicked look
>She laughs and explains that she heard the story right after she got back from Florida but knew that I couldn't have known that they weren't her panties because she literally has 2 million pairs.
>I still can't look her best friend in the eye.
>>
>>734276422
Pic of friend?
>>
I fapped in the same room my older sister was in and she never noticed or knows to this day
>>
>>734276422

hahahaha

thats funny as fuck

what did you guys say to each other after she said 'those are my panties'

did she just leave instantly or what

describe the awkwardness and conversation please lmao
>>
>be 16 or 17
>times before craigslist (circa 2004)
>drinking vodka in pqrents basement on yahoo chat
>talking to dudes and some girl about my dick
>get on webcam and show my goods
>many offers from veiws for best head ever
>finally decide fuck it abd give the one girl address to come bj me
>never asked for picture
>hour later car pulls up and I go to meet the mouth my dick is soon to be in
>massive 300lbs black bitch
>fml no turning back now
>go back to basement
>sucking my soft dick for an hour
>no cum
>devise plan in head
>tell bjtch she better run my I can hear my parents.

She leaves in a hurry and I vow never to invite strangers to my parents house again. But this is where I cross the line into uncharted territory.

>its about 4 am
>get back on yahoo
>talk to some guy
>sceen name: cocksucker481 or some shit
>talk about the worst head of my life
>he says he feels bad and describs how he could make me cum in a min flat
>dick is fucking diamonds from description

( this is the first time i considered getting head from a guy)

>way to fucking curious
>letsdothis.jpeg
>ride moped to house
>recive best head of young life

I felt so fucking dirty after all this I stayed off of yahoo for years... And the worst part is the guy was a nurse at the hospital and I had gone there with my mom to get an xray on my arm a few years later... That faggot was my nurse.
>>
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>>734276422
kek'd I'm sure your wife had a good chuckle about that, at worst your wives friend
>>
>>734277088

hahaahah faggot
>>
>>734276938

She just walked to another room. I didn't know what to do with the panties so I just tossed them into the washer and washed them. I never asked if she wanted them back. I just set them in a bag on the bed and prayed that it never came up again.
>>
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>be 19 and virgin
>friend calls and asks if I wanted to get laid
>said yeah
>took a shower
>friend walked over and we took my car
>go to an apartment
>5/10 40 year old woman answers
>my friend gives her cocaine, and she does it there.
>she invites us back to her bedroom
>limp as fuck not sure maybe nervous
>watching the two of them go at it while I try to plug one of her holes with rope dick
>she gives me friend a blow job
>before we left, i gave her a kiss
>my friend reminded me she gave him a blow job
>I hit my friend in the shoulder
>I brush my teeth rigorously

I didn't really loose my virginity but it was a shitty experience either way
>>
>>734273020
>>734272800
>>734273161
>>734272286

Foot fags are the weakest race.
>>
>>734277271
I figure its kinda like a police record.. All that shit is whipped out when u turn 18
>>
>be me, around 11
>spend the night at rich best friends house all the time
>we would usually sleep in the basement since he had a home theater down there
>every night he falls asleep I sneak to up the stairs to the mid level of house, and then upstairs to where his and his sisters room was located
>go into upstairs bathroom, and the majority of the time, the sister left several sets of clothes on the floor
>would pick up thongs, smell them, and try them on
>had a raging hard on while doing this, but didn't know how to jerk off yet
>did this about 50 times
>began stealing thongs
>fast forward a few weeks after I started stealing underwear
>about 9pm, playing video games at friends house
>he says I have to call my mom to pick me up
>I was under impression I was spending the night, and asked why
>he said he doesn't know

HIS MOM KNEW

Also.. it was always a horrible feel when I'd sneak all the way upstairs to find none of her clothes were in the bathroom. It would completely destroy me, kek
>>
>>734277641
At least we have standards. Ain't nobody want a dirty unwashed pair of feet in their face
>>
>>734272595
You ever lay in bed about to fall asleep and you read some shit that just wakes your ass up?
This is the shit that woke my ass up.
>>
>>734272595
Jesus fuck anon
>>
> be 18
> at gfs house alone
> starts off tame enough, doing homework before final tests before graduation
> one hour into studying and we take a break
> as we're in the kitchen, I grab her waist and tell her thanks for helping me
> "No problem Anon, I'd never missed a chance to help you"
> I kiss her and she tells me to wait here while she goes and changes
> I go out onto the back deck to enjoy the weather and get some air
> about 10 minutes later I turn around and see my gf in a slutty version of her school uniform
> fucking harder than Chinese algebra
> skip forward a few minutes and I'm fucking her from behind as she is bent over the fence on the back deck
> going at it like a savage with hair pulling, ass slapping, finger fucking her ass. The works
> after a while of smashing, about to bust a nut on her back when I hear her front door open and close
> fuckme.jpg
> in a fraction of a nano second I make the decision to cut and run
> as I pull out and about to pull my pants up, gf grabs my dick, gets on her knees and starts sucking me off
> fucking too much for me
> I cum all over her face right as her mother, father, and older brother round the corner
> try to run but forget my pants are around my ankles
> fall face first, break my nose
> father's look on his face when he seen his daughter covered in jizz and my bare naked ass rolling on the deck as blood shoots from my nose
>>
>>734277846
jesus christ, the amount of times you must have done that for her to figure out
>>
>>734274573
Keep going my dick is out
>>
>>734278849
gave me a hearty kek, first off your gf sounded like a real keeper, and also a fucking idiot
>>
>>734278849
my sides
>>
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>>734278849
Probably the best one yet, great tale anon
>>
>>734279060
to this day I don't know if she just didn't hear the door or if she just didn't care

She was a keeper. Unfortunately I ended up getting a dear John letter three weeks into basic training
>>
>>734279302
dear john letter?
>>
>>734279302
Unfortunate, glad your dead though
>>
>>734279499
>>734279302
not dead, thats a funny ass typo
>>
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How do you greentext
>>
>>734279433
not that anon, but I'm assuming the "dear john, i've found someone else" type of letter.
>>
>>734279551
by lurking more. you can even orange text if you lurk hard enough
>>
no need for greentext.

i fucked a stripper without a condom.

against all odds, didn't get aids and didnt get her pregnant.
>>
I fucked a nigger kid bareback since i didnt have any condoms been really paranoid about having hiv ever since but the kid seemed clean didnt show any syptoms
>>
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This one is great
>>
>>734279551
>feelsbadman
>>>>
>feels >bad >man
>>
>>734278849
Shit what happened afterwardsds?? Did you just get up, pull your pants up and leave?
>>
>test test
>>
>>734276330

fucking lol
>>
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>went out with friends
>got super wine drunk before we hit the bars
>immediately one chick starts barfing
>get here home
>really upset that I wasn't able to talk to bitches
>really drunk
>generally way too horny
>stay up to make sure she doesn't barf into anything but the trash
>take off her top and jerk off on her cold, inebriated body
>take pictures
>clean her up, go to bed
>look at photos later and feel bad, baleet them

First time I've ever been that degenerate
>>
>kek
>>
>>734279956
that is fucking rough. I swear 90% of all my poor decisions were done while horny
>>
>>734279551
just use this >
>>
>>734280163
You're just going to give that to him?
Fuck no anon, I'm taking that.
>takes
>>
>>734279813
>test
>>
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>>734278849
>> fucking harder than Chinese algebra
my sides are gone
>>
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>>734272286
Anon even though you are an idiot for doing that! It took guts
>>
>>734272595
what's that hentai called
>>
>>734275896
LMFAO!! good one
>>
>>734280163
Am I doing it right<
>>
>be around 12
>wasn't sure what to do exactly and just shoved my dick in between couch cushions
>instant regret/10
>gave myself a rusty venture trying to cum, and blue balled myself while also tearing skin off my dick and bleeding everywhere
eventually found out what to do and fucked to oblivion to the point where my parents had to throw away the couches
>>
>>734279551
>Newfag
>>
>>734274528
that sounds fantastic
>>
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>be me, 17
>at (ex) qt3.14 gf's house
>senior in highschool, later in the year
>seniors come in late day
>shows up to her house without a condom
>lays down in her bed, chilling, not doing anything
>we're home alone, she goes "anon we can't have sex without a condom"
>says fuck it, let's watch movies instead
>lay down in her bed, nearly naked
>start grinding, she tells me she has a condom in her purse

Let me remind you, I'm still a virgin at this point. Never had sex before in my life.

>starts foreplay, begin fingering her
>I'vewatchedenoughpornntoknowwhattodo.png
>turns out I'm good at that shit, eats her out
>her toes are curling, but I'm laying stomach down on her bed, body pressure and no boner
>pick her up, lay on my back and she gets on top, does this sexy ass grind thing
>"go put that condom on, anon."
>fuck.cmd
>knows how to put it on, but lights were off and blinds were closed, everything was dark
>couldn't see the god damn condom
>tried putting it on, did it wrong, got frustrated
>dick gets soft from humility
>gets pissed even more
>"uhhhhh shit, (gf), I can't see shit"
>wellthen.IMG
>flips her over and eats her out
>never fucked her because we only had one condom
Holy shit was she a babe. Pic related.
We broke up a month ago and shit has been difficult as fuck. I miss her and still love her so much.
Definitely would do anything to keep her.
>>
>>734280163
>black niggers
>>
>>734280163
>>734281399
Oh shit it worked
>>
>>734279290
>>734279252

Got one more story to tell you then. Not as good as the last but still a chuckle worthy one

> be 16, at my house
> gf is over for dinner
> both out in my father's shop making out
> a little foreplay here and there with tit grabbing, dick rubbing, but nothing major
> i go to undo her pants
> she slaps my hand and says there is not enough time
> sadface.jpg
> but she does offer a blow job instead
> I doubt it would be faster butt fuck it, it's better than nothing
> tongue like a goddess and mouth like velvet
> the best head I have ever had hands down
> goes on for a decent time, maybe five minutes
> all the while she's sucking, I'm making stupid puns and one liners, getting her to snicker and snort occasionally
> finally about to nutt when I say something that made her laugh and snort fucking hard
> as she laughed I blew my load and ended up shooting out of her nose
> she pulls away just as the second burst hits her face
> slightly annoyed/embarrassed she hurriedly wiped away my jizz
> my mother calls out that dinner is ready
> we get dressed and go to the dinner table and begin eating
> almost immediately I noticed my parents and younger sister staring in my general area giving weird looks
> think to myself "Oh fuck they know about the blow job."
> try to play it off cool and try to strike a conversation
> small talk kind of works until my 9 year old sister says " Hey Lady Anon, what is that in your hair?
> a small but very obvious glob of jizz is stuck in her hair
> fucking mortified as my gf runs her hand through her hair to figure out what it was
> fucking god damned "How I Met Sally" up in this bitch

Managed to patch things up with her until I ended up jizzing on her face when her family showed up
>>
>>734279433
A dear John letter is a break up letter usually given to soldiers when away
>>
>>734281399
>>734281465
You're newfagging pretty hard there, kid. You good?
>>
>>734274626
I was a hippomancer once, but never crossed the city limit to pound town. Two stories incoming.

>fat chick works across parking lot from me
>likes to buy my underaged ass booze
>brings me out with one of my friends (a dude) and one of hers (a chick)
>first time having a four loko
>holy shit I'm bobbing and weaving
>drink a fuckload of smirnoff
>black out
>come to in backseat of hippo's car
>her friend is on my lap with her shirt off and tits out
>what the fuck
>this is amazing
>hippo opens door and screams at us to get out
>after she calls someone crying to calm down she tells us all to get back in the car, leaves me at her friend's place
>friend drops me off at my house
>we fuck a couple of times, pretty stoked on it
>>
>>734279770
I ended up getting jumped on by her brother. He gave me a black eye and knocked out a tooth before my gf pulled him off me
>>
sext dirty shit with a catfish
>>
>>734281714
Kek. I've been on here for years I just never really thought much about green text until now.
>>
>>734271700
Dumbest, most painful sexual shit I ever tried was when I was a teenager. I ritually sacrificed my Stretch Armstrong toy and was going to throw him away when I decided to try and use him to fap with. Well in case you weren't aware, corn syrup is INCREDIBLY sticky. Sure, it coated my hands with some effort, but once I stuck it on my dick I quickly realized just what a retarded mistake that was. I tried peeling my hands off but only succeeded in tearing off a layer of fucking dick-skin and a fistful of pubes.
>>
>>734281793
Oh fuck man that must have sucked
>>
>>734282032
Still the shittiest day of my life
>>
>>734276758
same anon, however i laid down right next ti my older sister bcuz no different beds, so i masturbated right next to her all the time, she has no clue
>>
>in high school
>girl that is only a friend left and came back to graduate with us after 10 years
>dating one of my best friends (hate him now and they broke up...pretty bad)
>during there good times me and her are close
>people say we should be dating and shit
>fucken 9.5/10 cute A or B cup love the flat chest even told her I like small breast
>she 18 like me
>she tells me she need to use the bathroom
>my house is shit old as fuck holes in wall everywhere
>she in the bathroom I in my room my parents are out
>look threw the holes since I know where they are
>hard as fuck looking at her ass as she bends over picking up her pants
>cum explosion as I jack it and release in my shorts (dont want to make a mess)
>she come up to me tell me she smell something weird but sweet smell to it
>never tell her I jack off to her
>not friends anymore after colleges but I did cop a feel every now and again when she cry on my shoulder due to her brake up with my friend
>I regret not making her mine
>>
>>734282191
eh whatever, you still got to cum on her face
>>
>be me
>horny
>masterbation lost its luster
>throat fuck dog

Bretty gud :DDD
>>
>>734277362
thanks for sharing anon. i feel for you, yet still chuckled
>>
>>734281512

>Managed to patch things up with her until I ended up jizzing on her face when her family showed up

topfuckingkek

What was the after-math of her realizing your jizz was in her hair and what did the family say?
>>
>>734280909

can you educate me on fucking couch cushions?
>>
>>734281364
Why didn't you guys just turn the lights on...? Also that's shitty that you guys broke up, I'm sorry. What happened?
>>
>>734271700
>spending the night with cousins
>younger female cousin loves me
>sleeps on couch with me, feet intertwined in middle
>horny af
>feel her up with my foot
>toe plays with her vagina while she's asleep
>spread her legs and lift blanket to see a nice view of her pink panties getting wet
>rubbed my cock against her foot
>got too carried away
>she woke up
>seconds later she had an orgasm
>her noises set me off, I came all over her foot
>yells at me to wake her up next time and not be a retard
>apologize by licking her up
>we were regularly fucking before hand-surprise ending
>>
>>734283691
>>734280909
I would also like to know. When I was younger and horny I had the idea of fucking couch cushions or in between the bed mattresses but nothing ever worked so I gave up
>>
>>734272154
I thought the altar boy stuff was going to go on a much different path
>>
>tried fucking my dog
>>
>>734283691
>>734284017
Throw on some porn, and fuck the couch doggy style till you finish, course all I could do at the time was piss everywhere, or at least that's what I thought cumming was eventually I came to associate the carpet burn as synonymous with pleasure so eventually I did actually cum from it all.
>>
>>734283633

If you want that story then read this>>734278849

As for her reaction...

She ended up slapping me in the face as she stormed out of the house. Figured she walked home. I left the room immediately and my family never spoke of it again... except my father kept calling my GF Sally
>>
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>>734271700
>be 15
>most horniest years of life
>legit would rape my gf
>she never complained so kept doing it more and more
>tfw fucked her so much and so often we had to take a week break due to pain and bleeding.
>tfw she is low-key petrified of cuddling because it would always be lead into sex
>>
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>>734271700
>Navy Seal Pasta while doing anal
>>
>>734284388
>>734284017

Like just put my dick between the cushions?
>>
>>734284486
What the fuck man. Why didn't you tell her you'd fucking stop? Not getting any cuddles would suck, cuddling is nice
>>
>>734279573

Painfully correct
>>
>>734284746

hannah says hi
>>
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>>734284746
I was autistic and was a horndog after getting my shell cracked after a senior molesting me
we hang out to this day and she still is uncomfortable of the idea of cuddling
>>
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>>734284975
fuck off larper
>>
>>734284697
yes
>>
>>734273912
This
Thread posts: 134
Thread images: 33



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