I only felt like a loser socially. I've never had a girlfriend and have only kissed a number of females. I'm in my twenties. I have a cool job I like with a degree I like. I never felt incredibly socially awkward, just a little awkward about females not being cool with my lack of experience.
I just started dating a girl really for the first time in my life. My advice if anyone is in a similar situation or worse? Stop giving a shit about it. Tell yourself it will happen when it happens and focus on yourself. The biggest thing though for me though was to keep your friends close and being honest. I met this chick through a friend and started talking to her After that I was just honest with her about everything we talked about. She's chill as fuck and likes me. That's the best feeling in the world when you're slowly making your way to being a wizard. I've fooled around with her in a few weeks more than I have in total in my entire life and we'll be fucking any night now. Feels good. I've been a pussy my whole life and you just need to stop giving a shit if you're the same way.
Ps, if you're socially awkward and feel nervous in social settings get drunk. I hit it off with this chick hard the night I met her and I attribute it to not being sober.
>>734266220 I'm gonna help you out OP. You're going to hear a lot of bullshit from other people about how you should hit the gym, or you 'just need to man up' and that its about confidence. And while these things may be true, and may help you, that is almost certainly not the problem.
Let me propose a situation to you OP. You meet a girl who is incredibly nice, smart, and funny. You two hit it off amazingly, share interests and like the same activities. Now I want you to imagine what your ideal woman physically looks like. This girl is the opposite of that. Would you be interested in dating this girl? You are not physically attracted to this girl at all, in short, you find her ugly. Would you *really* want to date her? If you say yes to this, you are either a liar or in that 0.01% of people who legitimately don't care about appearance.
So clearly the example I put forth is an exaggeration, I highly doubt you're the exact opposite of what a girl is looking for in a man. But if youre moderately unattractive, and going after girls who are moderately attractive, its silly to think you have a shot with them. Girls don't want to be with someone they arent physically attracted to anymore than you want to be with someone you arent physically attracted to.
This isn't anyone's fault. Don't be mad at them for only dating 'stupid jock douchebags'. They did not choose to be attracted to stupid jocks. No one made that choice. Their bodies see someone like that and it arouses them. It is not a choice, and its unfair to judge or be mad at someone for something they aren't in control of.
So the friendzone does exist, and it *should* exist. Because no one should be 'forced' to date someone they aren't physically attracted to. If youre in someones friend zone, it means they like you as a person but you aren't their type. And there is nothing wrong with that. Go out and find a girl who you are the type of. different girls are physically attracted to different things.
Life is harsh and will fuck you at any time. Family is nice and all but for the most part blood relatives can be some of the worst people you know. Make your family with your friends and don't be afraid to cut off family members if they are bad for you to be around. Every family is disfunctional to a certain extent, but be able to tell the difference between disfunction and being toxic. Stay away from toxic relationships with anyone. Hold onto the people that genuinely love you and take interest in you because they will die one day. Don't be an asshole without just cause, be considerate of others even if you don't see them. I don't drive a loud car through a neighborhood at night like some nigger. Listening to someone talk as oppose to talking about your bs goes a long way with alot of people. Be a man of your word as much as possible. Don't Make statements about others unless they are real fuck ups, and by that I mean something along the lines of saying something like "I prefer not to be in their company." Not saying "She is a fucking whore." Also don't take another person's word about how another person is. Judge them after you have had personal experiences with them. Just because they don't like them doesn't mean you won't either.
>>734268990 Also if someone is trying to pick a fight with you keep your voice at a talking level and talk back as oppose to making it a shouting match. This way they look like a bigger dick because you are only talking while they yell. Also listen closely and pick apart their words as to use them against them. Never verbally strike below the belt unless they went verbally below the belt. An example being don't bring up the fact that they are acting like their lunatic mother unless they called your mother a whore etc. Also don't hit first but if they hit you end that shit. And don't hit them back more then if required or you will get in trouble as well. Learn how to use restraint holds if necessary. Money is a tool that can help alot but it also brings out greed and stupidity. Don't waste your money on bs you don't need. Learn to cook at home, it tastes better and is cheaper. Have friends over for some beers and steak vs going to a loud bar for overpriced bs. Don't owe anything to anyone ever and don't take free handouts, people may give you something for free as a gesture only to wave it above you at a later time.
>>734269659 If you are going to date a girl make sure she is worth your time. As in that she knows what she wants in life to a certain extent and is over childish bs. Make sure her life goals and yours are similar enough to be compatible *Almost impossible to find* Don't waste your time on bs like Vidya it's fun every now and then but don't make your whole life about Vidya games Don't waste your time at bs job unless it acts as a stepping stone to a much better job. As much as possible have each job on a resume build upon each other. *Harder when you are younger but still possible. Volunteer and make yourself a candidate that stands out for job positions. So many people have a bachelor's now but alot of them are not involved in the community and all that other shit. Also you meet new people through it and gain a new perspective about things. Stay as fit as possible because losing weight sucks, you can enjoy eating fast food but don't do it four days a week. Moderation is everything.
>>734266220 I had a bit of a looser / cringe stage in early high school, One day something clicked, and I realized that when I woke up and walked out the door I could be anyone I wanted to be, and just like that all my hangups just fell away.
>>734270693 21 but I have been though my fair share of shit and have had alot of different influences in life both positive and negative. The goal is to learn from others as well as yourself. You're gonna fuck up here and there but the goal is to keep in moving along. I have my own issues but I work on them and I've learned to not take shit from anyone but at the same time I don't have to be an asshole in order to not take shit. It can be as simple as cutting someone off. You can try to explain to them why but generally they won't "really" listen to you and just get emotional and angry at you. So it can be easier to just cut them out..... TL:DR I'm young but I have seen some shit and learned from it
>>734271341 Well if you realize that you led a sheltered life that means you can take the steps to change your perspective. Some things are true regardless of how you came up. Avoid the ghettos, but if you find yourself in one don't make yourself look like a target. Talk to a man like a man, you are not above him nor he above you. Be clear when you talk don't mumble, say it like you mean it Think it through before you say anything because you can think about something as much as you want but once you say it. It is out there. People that are obsessed with material wealth are generally uninteresting and have nothing of substance to talk about. The same is true for gossipers. *Everyone gossips a little but you know what I'm talking about.* Cops are people like you are I some are nice some are dicks you could be polite to them and they are still gonna be a dick, just grin and bare it because being a dick back only makes it worse for you. Ignorance is ignorance regardless of race or Creed, avoid it. Your friends are generally a reflection of you and how you perceive yourself. If your friends start to fuck up or are just spinning their tires find new friends, as they can drag you down as well You cannot change anyone no matter your relationship with them. They have to want to change for themselves
>>734272241 Any argument has two sides to it and generally there is some amount of truth to each side. The goal is to come to a common understanding. If you haven't dated and or haven't gone out in awhile don't move too fast when you finally go on a date. You will come off as clingy and no girl wants that. Females can sometimes be interesting but most are actually pretty boring and have no real depth to them. Start preparing for your retirement now, eventually you will get old If you do something viewed as morally wrong or illegal don't tell anyone, it can and will come back to bite you in the ass if you do. No one can actually keep a secret. Find a hobby and start doing it, it will help to clear your mind
>>734273716 To me that sounds like you have too much free time on your hands... literally. Also define drinking everyday. A few beers after cutting the grass is alot different then drinking a bottle of plastic jug vodka. I'd say get into a routine of doing productive things. If that means working more or picking up more hobbies so be it. Better to have to schedule your masturbating and drinking than to only do them out of impulsive behavior.
i work a ton. blue collar. so i guess both are a good relaxation. i was into guitar and working out for a while but in the summer time we work longer and i just come home defeated to a needy gf ( which is a problem in itself.) i don't drink as much as i used to but around a bottle of whiskey a week. sometimes two including the weekend and a few beers. but these are excuses. you are right. i play video games but that is a shitty " hobby" that i can drink while doing and just hit the windows key and then wack off
>>734266220 I typically change after I get put into a new environment. It's fairly simple. You adapt to your surroundings a little. The more stuff you're exposed to, the more you change. Also consistently exposing yourself to new things prevents it from wearing off.
Basement dwellers end up in a miserable state as they have no idea how life works.
Large events for me: high school first job college apartment in college big boy job
>>734274602 Well depending on the brand of whiskey that is a decent portion of money that you could put towards something else. If you are spending $35-50 on booze a week you could put that money away and take a short vacation in a few months time. Or put the money towards something else like an emergency fund or towards a new hobby Vidya for me personally just got old, and when you think about it, at least on the consoles it's a bunch of whinny kids and losers, think of all the wasted hours you could be outside or interacting with real people. That's partially why I stopped Vidya.
very true it is expensive. i shoot for 30 bucks for whiskey. and i am on pc and there is still plenty of cancer. honestly half the reason i play so much is a got a loser friend and uncle that are more addicted to games than i am and it is just other people good at games that constantly want to play.
>>734275431 I actually kek'd a little at my last comment about wasting time as I write on 4chan. But anyway, you just gotta find new things to occupy those time slots. You have made drinking Vidya and masturbating part of your routine, you need to make a new routine. Like I said there is nothing wrong with drinking Vidya and jerking it, but everyday is far too much.
very true. any suggestions? i kind of want to be come a gym rat just because it is a good stress relief but that can be a no life if done too much as well. any personal experiences that you found the most fruitful ?
>>734275485 I remember the games. I remember the weeks of grinding for that gear to beat that one raid. I remember the day you got that god roll sword. I remember when we all finally got all the parts to play 4 swords adventure on the gamecube. I remember it all. Why do other people forget so easily?
>>734266220 stop caring about what other people think of you and your female mate selection. It is only other losers who judge you because you date a 4/10 or some other such nonsense. They are sitting home stroking it to trap porn while you are out having a social life with a gf with your 4/10 who gives good head and has a 10/10 tight pussy and is willing to do a threesome with her sister.
The biggest thing is to just stop caring about being judged about other lonely fucks. The next time that chubby girl at work gives you a compliment, just tell her you think she is cute and would like to go out.
>>734276036 Again anything in excess is generally bad. It's all about moderation. I generally have a standard routine between work and school, I fit the gym in three or four times a week and try to get out with my friends/gf at least once a week, even if it's just seeing a new movie. Going out doesn't have to be a multi million dollar production, it can be as simple as going to a park or going fishing. I'd say do some research into shit online and see what peaks your interest. If you are handy enough you might enjoy wood working, building something like a dining room set takes time and patience. Or maybe start an aquarium but really do it right, like make it a tank for a specific geographic region of fish. You could try cooking real food, like fancy shit. You could go back to school if not done. You could make your own beer instead of buying it. There is alot of stuff out there you just have to find out what you want to do. I can make an endless list of suggestions but you need to find one you like for yourself. I also try to set commitments in the future so I have something to look forward to. Like I plan on going to Ukraine next summer after I graduate college. Before you ask I chose Ukraine because I think the woman are attractive as fuck, not saying I'd score but you never know. Also fuck it why not go to a war torn poor country when I speak only basic Ukrainian at best
I was a basement dweller with no friends. I did go to classes with good grades, but in between I disappeared into video games and /b/. Until one 10/10 girl started talking to me, asking for homework help etc. When we made Sat. night plans, I was sure I was being punked. But /b/ encouraged me to risk it. She now has me going outside and getting real exercise. I've introduced her to video games. And we are openly dating. (Plus she's got a black belt in karate, anyone gives me a hard time she'll kick the shit out of them.)
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