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Mandatory tard stories thread. I'll start. >be me >high

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 300
Thread images: 62

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Mandatory tard stories thread. I'll start.
>be me
>high school art class
>someone has the brilliant idea of integrating the school tards into the class for the day
>each normie gets paired up with a tard
>i'm at a table with this guy mark, who doesn't like tards all that much
>the tard i'm paired with is actually pretty cool
>we sit there and talk about video games for most of the class
>mark's tard spends the entire class drawing one shitty picture
>he finally finishes and holds it up to mark
>"i made durf and bernie"
>mark says "what the hell is durf and bernie?"
>tard wrangler overhears this exchange, and sensing something bad was about to happen, rushes over
>"i think he means bert and ernie, like from sesame street"
>mark: "but sesame street isn't a bunch of poorly drawn stick figures"
>tard snaps, screams "I DID A GOOD DURF AND BERNIE!"
>grabs a bottle of paint
>starts chugging it
>wtf.jpg
>my tard says "he does that all the time"
>"he drinks paint all the time? how the fuck is he not dead?"
>"i don't know i think that too"
>my tard goes on to tell me that they usually don't let this potato of ungodly proportions go to the art room for this very reason
>they also don't keep paint in tard HQ
>by this time my sides are in orbit
>they finally wrestle the paint away from him and drag his dopey ass back to tard HQ
>>
Will bump this thread until it gets noticed.
>>
>>734146888
woah i got trips. bump again
>>
>>734147088
dubs now!
>>
COME ON YOU BASTARDS GET IN HERE
>>
This thread needs to get bumped.
>>
>>734147364
thanks anon
>>
Bump man
>>
>>734147544
So none of you guys got any stories of your own?
>>
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>>
I decree that this thread will not die!
>>
>>734146682
Kek

Tard 1 has transcended to levels burf tard can't imagine
>>
>>734146682
TIL that tards have tards.
>>
I want this. Fuck those trap threads
>>
>>734147628
Once this tard named OP told me a stupid story about paint.
>>
>>734148072
Thank you. Shows you what a faggot shack /b/ is starting to become.
>>
Bampy
>>
>Be me, sophomore year of high school
>Take auto class
>Everyone is at least somewhat intelligent and social
>Except for one tard
>Generally doesn't do anything that moronic during class itself
>As for shop time...
>Be second semester
>Friends and I working on our friend's truck
>One of them goes to use the restroom
>Takes a piss but notices tard in stall
>Tells me and another friend
>Walk into the restroom
>Listen as he blows his load
>Laugh our asses off silently as we walk back to the truck
>This goes on for two or three months
>One day, tired of this tard's shit
>Doesn't know I knew he beat his meat
>Ask him how it felt to jerk it in the stall
>He's at a stall, then walks off
>Turn around to see my friends laughing their asses off
>Teacher didn't know any of this
Auto was great.
>>
What that faggot mark did was a total dick move.
>>
>>734146682
>each normie gets paired up with a tard
>i'm at a table with this guy mark, who doesn't like tards all that much

So... OP was the tard?
>>
>>734148416
I thought it was pretty funny actually. It can warm your heart to be mean to a tard.
>>
>>734148501
top kek
>>
>>734148501
I do think op meant that
>>
>be in middle School
>It's before class starts kid playing super tiny harmonica
>Passing tard notices, harmonica kid starts dancing like a goon
>Tard takes acception to that and swings his bookbag with all his might at harmonica kid
>Harmonica kid doges back tard swings again clocking him in the head with God knows what in the bag
>Knocks harmonica kid out snatches tiny harmonica and runs off screaming
>Smfh
>>
>>734148617
You shouldn't be mean to tards, you are just lowering yourself to tard level.

Learn to be the better man.
>>
>>734148643
I don't think so either
>>
>be me
>be about 8 yo
>be visiting grandparents in another state
>sleep on couch because not enough beds
>morning.jpg
>something jumps on my legs
>think it's the dog
>dump it onto floor
>screaming_child.wav
launched 2 y o tard cousin halfway across the room
>>
>>734148716
top fucking kek
>>
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>be me
>6th grade art class circa 2004
>kid who i didn't know was full tard at table
He had Tourette's and aspbergers fuck me if he looked it.
>get into argument over something
Nerdy
Basically calling out obvious lies and exaggerations
>this upsets the tard
>instead of a freak out or rage he tells teacher after class
My dad beat my ass when I got home and I honestly didn't know he was retarded. Saw him in a store not long ago and is a full on brony now.
>>
>>734146888
>>734147088
TARDS ARE AGENTS OF CHAOS. THEY DO THE WILL OF KEK
>>
>>734148963
Pretty sure all bronies are tards.
>>
>>734147228
Holy fuck you went 888, 88, 8
>>
>>734149072
It's the pretty colors and high pitched voices I assume
>>
>>734149094
See, I told ya this thread is good.
>>
>be me
>be sophomore in high school
>just moved to now town
>have autistic kid in class that does anything anyone asks
>hot girl with big tits but extremely unpopular for someone asks me out
>say no so can make friends
>she tells everyone you asked her out and acts like a total cunt
>come up with plan to get back at her
>be in gym class
>tell autistic kid she likes to dance the robot and show him the dance but with pelvic thrusts
>watch kid run behind her and begin doing said dance
>begin laughing as he chases her around the gym for a full 5 minutes
>girl snitches
>suspended for 3 days
>>
>be me
>8th grade
>be in gym
>this one tard named cam (hes a nig btw)
>runs into the bathroom and pushes a few people out of his way
>my friend dale and i watch in awe as after he gets done pissing he flushes the toilet several times
>proceeds to the scream "oh no"
>tries to stop water from overflowing by pushing it down with his hands
>>
>>734149460
my sides
>>
>>734149330
>extremely unpopular for someone
wat
>>
MOAR STORIES DONT LET THIS THREAD DIE
>>
>high school has outdoor pay phones
>prank call 1800flowers
>my dude sees passing tard
>in a sudden stroke of genius he holds the phone out to the tard
>"it's for you"
>tard is in the phone with flower rep
>lunch period ended, we left tard on the phone ordering flowers.
>next day phones are off limits unless supervised
>school staffer assigned to sit outside for all 3 lunch periods to watch phones
>>
>>734149817
Fucking right? English mother fucker do you speak it?
>>
>>734149954
grade a story brah
>>
>>734150088
Nice digits
>>
Some reason* autocorrect
>>
>be me 8th grade
>weak ass tard named Micheal, has OCD and autism or some shit
>Always has to close every door in the school left open
>one day i decide to fuck with him
>i follow him for 15 minutes opening every door he closes infront of him
>starts to get sobby
>looks at me with tears pouring from his eyes
>lmaoidontcare.sociopath
>continue
>eventually he goes to a teacher and starts weeping and crying big time
> get the fuck out of there
>>
>>734146888
>>734146682
checked and keked
>>
I love potato stories.
First time I ever saw a potato was when I was like 8. Didn't know potatoes were a thing until years later. Just thought he was a 'normal' kid who looked fucked up. Wish I had some stories ;-;
>>
>>734150183
eh. 2/10, and you got the extra point for fucking with a tard.
>>
K MOAR
>>
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>am me
>am good boy
>am good big boy
>because goodness overseer lets me take walks
>walks outside slow boy containment pen
>am take walks in hallway away from pen
>feel pee coming up
>after while find bathroom to pee because if I pee on floor again overseer says he will tan ass
>tan ass is bad
>stagger into bathroom, throw self into wall toilet and pull pants down to ankles
>there is other boy beside me
>while putting pee in wall toilet have good idea
>i will have fun by challenging boy to pee fight
>yell "pee fight" and project yellow torrent towards boy
>he not play with me
>he has disgust on face then scowl then lunges
>am on ground and he hurt face
>i cry then shit self
>boy pauses in disgust then makes hurt even harder and faster
>my jaw broken before overseer passes by and take back to pen
not allowed walks
>>
Heres another one
>be me
>be in gym in morning sitting with group of friends
>this one tard named Rayne rolls up
>these niggers sitting near us are screaming their monkey talk
>rayne tries to tell the be quite or sumthin
>nigs arent having it and start yelling back at her
>we cant understand anything they say
>rayne tells on them for yelling at her
>they detention for a week
>no niggers for a week
Mfw
>>
>>734150476
fucking niggers
>>
MOAR DAMMIT MOAR
>>
>be me
>have 5 year old nephew with an extra chromosome(temporary tard)
>nephew does crazy shit like piss on people and throw dirty diapers at people
>be visiting sister one night and wake up kind of early
>walk towards living room finding the bathroom torn up like a dog did it
>getting ready to get on to nephew.jpeg
>that's when I see it
>nephew feeding his niece shit from his diaper.gif
>begin flipping shit while he laughs his little ass off
>wake sister up to tell her what happened
>2 weeks letter start thinking about the incident and laugh your ass off
>>
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>>734151137
Dude.
>>
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>tard with asbergers in year 10 of christian school who walks around all lunchtime making lightsaber noises and keeps getting in trouble for reading books in class
>English teacher gives assignment to speak for 5 minutes on something you're passionate about
>tardmodeengaged
>2 weeks later, It's showtime
>tards turn to go up
>starts raving about how homosexuality is a mental illness and gays should be killed or at the least medicated
>class sides are in orbit, everyone crying from laughter
>tard thinks this is approval, keeps talking with a big smile between laughs about how Hitler should have won
>teacher frantically trying to make him stop but the laughter keeps spurring him on

Best English class ever
>>
I work at a special needs horse farm, I've raked up a few good ones. Will share if people are still on this thread
>>
>>734151711
Jesus yes!
>>
>>734151711
Do it!
>>
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Bump
>Second grade
> Meets Jew tard named Shalom
>Jew won't leave me alone...
>Tells tard all girls have cooties
>Tard runs away yelling don't touch me
>Teacher goes to check on tard
>Tard starts freaking out fullautism.gif
>Teacher summons the tard guard
>Tard guard is Mrs. Candle
>Tard is still losing it
>Gym teacher is called for extra assistance
>Tard is calm now
>Td;lr
>I caused s tard tantrum because I wanted to be left alone
>>
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>>734151711
Hand over the memes
>>
>>734151711
Yess
>>
>>734147088
>>734146888
>>734146682
You can't bump your own thread, retard
>>
>>734151995
>why not
it's retarded
>>
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>>734146682
forty keks op, good story
>>
> Be in 2nd grade
> Live in quiet and small town
> Class has 2 tards, 1 relatively smart the other has a waterhead
> Me and my friends always pull pranks and do weird shit
> We think of a cunning plan
> Get 2 nerds to rig the waterhead's wheelchair with a device
> Launch the tard
> They explain he will explode when the timer runs out
> Special forces come to help
> Sends in one of my friends to calm the tard down
> Ends up dying
> Timer reaches zero
> Tard disappears
> All we heard was TIMMEH!
>>
>>734151865
>Tard guard

KEK
>>
>Is me
>grade 2
>Potato in my class, name is Shem
>Shem
>The year is 1930s, Bayblades are the shit
>Lunchtime, ripping the blades with friends
>Potato is among us with his shitty beta Bayblade
>Its me against Potato Shem Man
>Let it rip!
>The Bayblade battle of the decade is on
>'Taters Precious gets distracted by some shit and looks away
>I snatch his Bae
>Uncut Fries turns back, sees his Bae is missing, look of horror on his potato face
>Without missing a beat I point to some kid "it was him"
>Poe-Tay-Toe rage mode activated
>Leaps at him, pounding his ham fists at the poor kid, ripping his hair etc
>"Give me back! Give it back!"
>Detention for a week
>Worth.
>>
>>734149330
Reeeerrrrrreeeeeeeeeeee
>>
>>734149330
Is this even in english?
>>
>>734152210
good episode right there
>>
>>734151711
Special needs horse farm guy here, looks like you people are interested. I'm usually a lurker, but only for you guys.

>be me
>volunteer at a special needs horse farm
>assist with horseback lessons, essentially a tard wrangler
>one day we're short on barn staff, boss asks me to lead the horse
>never lead a horse before, but do it anyway because why the fuck not, I love horses
>start lesson with extremely nervous tard, I mean so nervous we had to pick him up and put him on the horse
>I'm nervous too, this horse, let's call him "Mr. Ed" is fucking Houdini himself, the farm's escape artist
>boss insists on using Mr Ed
>lesson is relatively normal, whatever the fuck "normal" is there
>inside indoor arena
>gate is open
>Mr. Ed sees his next-door stall mate outside in the turnout pasture
>houdinimodeactivated.jpg
>Mr. Ed bolts out the gate, with nervous tard on his back
>nervous tard is screaming and wailing, as Mr. Ed dashes out of the barn across the field to the turnout pasture
>desperately trying to make sure tard doesn't fall off
>miraculously he manages to hold on
>Mr. Ed stops at the gate after a long run with screaming/crying tard
>mfw tard is undamaged, but Mr. Ed is still loose
>every time I try to approach Mr. Ed, he moves away
>can't get panicking tard off him
>eventually get 5 other barn staff to surround Mr. Ed to free the tard
>I wasn't expecting Mr. Ed to pull shit like that, I gave blood that day, plus panic level of stress caused me to nearly pass out. I know horses can feel the emotion of their rider/ones around them, I guess he took advantage of the nervousness of the tard
>pic related, Mr. Ed
>>
>>734153188
Moar?
>>
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>>734146682
Great thread sir. You are not cancer. Kill all children.
>>
>be ADD kid in high school before they seperated full tards from mildly tard such as myself.
>have study hall class required of everyone in the tard program.
>me and some other mildly tard people in class get quake on all the computers and fight.
>extra large full tard sits at the computer next to me.
>he begins to watch hentai full blast no head phones.
>very loud, tard just watches
>look at my teacher who simply say "Oh just let him be"
>mfw
>>
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True story
>In high school
>In gym class
>Swimming in pool that day
>Group of retard students in the class, kinda kept to themselves by their own special teacher but still expected to participate in same activities as normal students
>Decide to be nice and tell one of the retarded girls she was cute in her swimsuit
>Didn't know this girl was claimed by one of the retarded boys
>Later, swimming laps in a lane
>Out of nowhere the retarded boy had somehow swam across several lanes (they can barely swim if at all) and was in my lane
>Retarded boy proceeds to swim towards me while also trying to punch me
>I keep away but am like "what the fuck?"
>Eventually special teacher for tards gets control of him
Still don't know if retarded boy was just retarded and jealous, or if he was somehow a man fighting for his honor and his love trapped in a retarded mind.
>>
>>734150183
Lame and gay
>>
>>734150183
>lmaoidontcare.sociopath

Woah m8, now THAT is fucking EDGY.
>>
>>734150460
Top fucking kek
>>
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>>734146682
Got a good one but not green texting from phone. In class age 6. Tard named quinton is this dopey nigger that looks about 3 feet taller than the rest of us. Quinton pulls his pants down and starts humping the table while licking it and staring at everyone. Teachers go into panick mode trying to pull this nigger of the table but his tard strength stops them. Ends up sticking his finger in his ass and starts poking teachers with it it. They looked so helpless. Quinton then gets off the table and starts shaking his nuts outside of his righty whiteys parading around before the janitor wrangles the rabid ape down. Pretty disturbing at age 6
>>
>>734154144
lrn2greentext

tard
>>
>>734154144
There was a nignog tard at my college that did a similar thing in the library. I wonder...
>>
>be me
>be in high school
>class has a few tards
>bow-legged nig-tard
>big-assed, horny tard girl
>tism boy named gavin
>deaf, spic tard
>and the golden boy, tard josh
>josh is the tard who goes pants off while having a piss at the urinal
>always grabbing tits and ass at will
>feelsgoodtobegangsta.jpg
>he pulled the pants off a chick in middle school
>he was pretty well tamed

I wish I had better tard stories because our school's tards were always gems.
>>
>>734154308
Read first sentence tatertot
>>
>>734148501
Woah. Shamalan level shit rite there Boise.
>>
>>734154767
No excuse faggot
>>
>>734146682
Any Retard porn?
>>
>>734154884
Dude, just give him a break, he's a tard.
>>
>>734153415
Sure.

>still me
>special needs farm volunteer
>7:30, our last lesson for tonight
>most of us have worked 1w hours, tired af
>but we all know what 7:30 on a Thursday night means
>we get a visit from the super-tard
>this kid is beyond the average autismos we have, I actually like helping tards. But this fucking tard, let's just call him "Bean"
>Bean is so aggravating even our most patient and experienced staff litrrally bring flasks on Thursdays, for what we call the "Bean after-party"
>Bean usually doesn't even get through the tacking up part of the lesson he's that dysfunctional
>that night was one of "those nights", where we couldn't even get him to "brush the horsie" for even 10 seconds
>Bean starts throwing shit fit because we told him he won't be able to ride if he doesn't cooperate
>Literally cannot get him to do anything without him sperging out and doing something else, i.e. fucking up the tack room I just organized


*continue on pt.2
>>
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>>734154908
>>
>>734146682
Oh tard stories, I'm in

>be me
>grade 7
>tard likes playing out on the field
>ocassionally pics up big sticks
>likes to pretend he's in Africa
>lightbulb.jpeg
>My friends and I convince him to hunt down an elephant in Africa because it's hurting a lot of people
>Elephant is Mr. K, obese old white teacher
>we show him how to throw the sticks like spears and how to use the heavier sticks as clubs
>after teaching him
>moment of truth

Continue?
>>
>>734155295
yes god damn it next time post the whole thing
>>
>>734155105
>boss eventually had enough and tells Bean there's not enough time to ride
>bean harnesses the powers of the Autism Gods, the likes of which I have never seen before, working two years full-time at a special needs farm, which says a LOT.
>Bean is like Hurricane Sandy and Hurricane Katrina's Friday Night love child, destroying EVERYTHING in his wake
>staff try to contain him, sustain casualties
>Bean makes his path of terror and desteuction back to the horse he was supposed to be grooming
>Bean spergs out at horse, horse spooks
>bean BITES THE FUCKING HORSE OF THE NOSE

*cont. Part 3*
>>
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>>734155295

Yes, post it
>>
>>734155603
>BITES THE HORSE OF THE NOSE
>>
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>>734155411
>we shout to him
>"there's the elephant take him down!"
>tard runs it to his prey
>carrying a handful of smaller sticks in one hand while holding to larger sticks in the other
>tard starts off with spears first
>he's getting in hits and ocassionally missing
>Mr.K is in slight pain but more irritated than anything
>tard throws last spear and then rushes in with a club in each hand
>this tard had the strength of 3 tards
>so when he hit Mr.K full force there was a very audible cracking noise and then a howling screech of pain from Mr.K
>at the end of the battle
>the tard was sent home scot free while Mr.K had a few fractured ribs and internal bleeding
>>
>>734155295
No shit. Just post the whole fucking story.
>>
>>734149460
Different anon, same type of yard

>high school in the 90s
>fucking sucks man
>smoking a cig in the bathroom with my boys like some edgy fucks
>in strolls this thin tard carrying his pog collection binder.
>me and the boys start to bullshit him, telling him if he dumps all his pogs into the toilet and flush it he will see the pog fairy.
>hefuckingdoesit.absolutemadman
>suddenly the water starts rising and we are laughing our asses off
>he's screaming and trying to get his pogs
>gets his fucking arm stuck in the toilet
>he's screaming loud as fuck as the room fills with water
>leave and never speak to anyone

Later that day we hear about how the school had to destroy the toilet to get the tard out. He never met the pog fairy either
>>
>>734156391
top fucking kek
>>
>>734155735
>>734156239
Okay here it is >>734156211
>>
>>734155603
End of the Bean
>staff stop caring about their own scratches, drag Bean the fuck out and stick him in the scream dungeon
>my first aid qual came in handy that day
>went home
>drank a shit ton of vodka, got black-out drunk
>woke up at 3PM the next day, 5 missed calls from boss
>be honest, explain I went home and got drunk
>he understands
>pic related: horse Bean bit
>>
>>734151711
A farm. Not a ranch, but a farm... For special needs horses? You farm retarded horses? How the fuck do you farm retard horses? Take two janky-looking, dipshit clip-clops and stick them in a barn until they fuck? Just leave a bunch of inbred ponies in a pen with some smooth jazz?
>>
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>be me
>be working in restaurant, new job
>kitchen manager is "on the spectrum" as one server puts it. Only fell into job through everyone else being fired or quitting. We'll call him "bud."
>non-food supplies delivery shows up.
>Bud discoverers the general manager ordered the wrong size of cling wrap.
>not really a big deal, just means have to wrap things twice. Maybe an extra couple seconds of work. Whatever.
>bud calls general manager idiot,is majorly triggered by wrong cling wrap.
>starts insulting general manager in person, calling him a retard to his face.
>general manager is six foot tall 100lb Filipino guy, just got called retard by autist
> It's 12:30pm, peak of the very busy lunch rush. Lots of customers only a few feet away from two yelling men
>general manager starts shoving screeching autist.
>autistic screeches of "are you assaulting me? Are you assaulting me? I have witnesses!"
>general manager tells bud to leave.
>bud goes outside, chain smokes four cigarettes, goes back inside and finishes lunch rush.
>>
>be me
>senior year of high school
>school lets tards roam free during lunch for whatever reason
>one tard, we'll call him Q, knows one of my friends from wrestling
>sits with us just about every day
>has this downy sounding southern drawl, which is weird considering how far north we lived
>Q loves 2 things: wrestling, and women
>Q spent a solid 3 months trying to convince people he was Chris Benoit
For those who don't know, Chris Benoit was a professional wrestler who murdered his family the killed himself
>said shit like "you know I just had to be Chris Benoit, I gotta protect my family"
>had a Facebook page where his name was Chris Benoit, but the picture was him
>after we finally convinced him of what the dude actually did, he changed the page to say he died

I have lots of Q stories
Cont?
>>
>>734155786
Hey, fuck you pal, I drink when I remember this shit
>>
>>734156391
What the fucks a "pog" ?
>>
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Reminds me of a good one

> grade 8 or 9
> woodshop
> tard in class, because some dipshit parents wants their kid socialized
> Grade A Potato. This little fucker comes unhinged at a moments notice
> spud has full time potato masher, to prevent anything bad happen
> Potato hasn't gone full spud in a couple of weeks of being in class
> tard wrangler starts fucking off randomly through class to go smoke or pull a lahey
> people working on tablesaw, and spud goes full retard
> tard picks up big piece of wood and starts raptor screeching and flailing
> knocks buddy of mine into the fucking blade of the tablesaw
> hand fucked up
> no wrangler
> teacher with extra large deposit in pants
> took 8 students to wrangle this fuck while i was calling for an ambulance and trying to keep bro from bleeding out

Fuck tards.
>>
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>In high school
>mentally challenged girl lives next to me
>I get to know her and her mother
>nice girl, not attractive, but also not incredibly ugly
>get to be friends where we hug and stuff
>eventually start helping her out with simple math homework
>her mother loves me
>one day after finishing some problems I mention I have the Lion King DVD
>she gets super excited, like super fucking excited and her mother notices
>I say we can watch it at my house
>mother says OK and we go to my house
>TV with DVD player in my basement
>stupid fucking teenager I am with my own retarded hormones I take her down there
>she already likes me and well we never end up watching the movie
>turns out being mentally challenged doesn't mean she can't have children
>I have a beautiful daughter to this day but OH FUCK was that a messed up part of my life for a long fucking time
>her mother is finally cool with me again but never lets me be alone with her even though we fucking had a child together
>doing okay as an adult, but its really hard explaining to girls I date that I have a child with a mentally challenged girl
>she's still a really nice and sweet girl but she did get really fat which I guess is not unexpected
>>
>>734156478
Horse therapy, my dude.
>>
>>734151995
yeah fuck off dickface
>>
>>734156502
Cont
>>
>be me
>grade 9
>just finished eating lunch
>walking back to class with friend
>walking up stairs
>tard inbound
>she stares straight at friend
>screams: "HEY DARKIE" at him
>his black ass goes full rage on this kid
>"what the fuck you say to me?"
>tard has hands in pants
>pulls greasy tard hand out of there and rubs it on friends face in failed attempt at a slap
>"NO YELLING!"
>friend is terrified
>tard juice all over cheek
>tard wrangler arrives
>lifts up tard and gives us a look of pure sympathy
>my sides are in the fucking stratosphere
>friend washes face for 10 straight minutes
>>
>>734156999
Sweet digits, my man.
>>
>>734156582
A long forgotten symbol of the past, my young friend
>>
>>734152210
summer already?
>>
>>734156502

>as I mentioned, Q also loved women
>gives off kind of a Lenny vibe
>constantly talking about how he couldn't wait for summer to take girls to the barbecue
>would walk up to girls and say shit like "you should dress like that more often, I really like that" and just walk away
>constantly telling people about girls who are across the room, and how he was dating them or wanted to fuck them
>tells us he's has like 10 sons because of how much sex he has
>one day he walks up to my gf and says quietly "you belong to me" then leaves

after that, one of my friends and I made a bet on how long before he actually rapes someone
>>
>>734157462
Well did he rape anyone?
>>
>>734156478
How do you think brony cons came about?
>>
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I took this picture a while back.
Died laughing and the teacher did too.
>>
>>734148736
Kill them.
>>
>>734157558
That's a genuinely terrifying thought. I was under the impression that bronies were just furfags that were too pussy to go full retard and get a mascot suit.
>>
As far as I know he hasn't yet
>>
>>734157259
Trips claims cont
>>
>>734156659
Is your daughter normal, at least, or was it genetic?
>>
>8th grade
>have a couple tards in p.e.
>one is a low functioning autist that walks around pretending he's on a mission. Everyone calls him Cool Raul lol
>other ones a little off somehow idr his name
>anyway me and this other piece of shit decide to poke at him to see what exactly his deal is
>he eventually gets aggravated and tells us he can do a tornado kick
>encourage him to show us the fabled kick
>offer quarters
>he can't resist
>he spins around and lands on his as
>we pelt him with the quarters
>0 consequenses
>>
>>734157549
As far as I know he didn't
>>
>>734146682
There is a tard at my school who does stretches in front of the whole school every morning

i see him sometimes and no one ever questions it.

then that same tard every passing period runs and says EeEEEEEeeEEeEeEEEEE EVERY DAY

i don't even care anymore
>>
>>734151572
That Tard was fucking smart
>>
>junior year
>gym class
>this one tard always comes to say hi to me and my two friends, which seems normal
>one day him and myself were talking about college
>i said i'd like to attend a certain university
>he says his cousin attended the same university i mentioned and met his girlfriend there
>thought that was pretty cool
>the tard then gets real close to me
>his face is right next to mine and then says
>"and now they're gonna have a baby in three weeks"
>i've been avoiding him since
>>
Should I keep posting special needs horse farm greentexts?
>>
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So I've been wondering this for years? These tards, are they genuinely retarded/mentally challenged or just what you call a slow kid? Why do you guys have so many tards in your schools? Don't they have special schools? Why would anyone even mix them up in classes for any reason whatsoever? Is this like a normal thing in schools? I'm in Yuroop btw.
>>
>>734158075
>BITES THE HORSE OF THE NOSE
>>
>>734157826
The double chromosome that causes mental retardation has some genetic links but is not automatic. My daughter is fine, but it was hard when she started becoming smarter than her mother. It will be harder for her as an adult knowing where she came from but I do my best to be honest.
>>
I've been enrolled in tard schools ever since 2nd grade. I'm 18 and I got held back because I started to refuse work when I was upset by people screaming and shit in my class. The retardation never stopped. For a while I actually fit in with the people in my various schools but I kept getting kicked out and eventually I grew up and stopped having a ton of anger issues for whatever reason and I hate everyone except my teacher now. I have 1 friend. I guess you could call me a tard because I have aspergers but it's not as severe as it used to be.
>>
>>734158241
Once again, not sober here. Still though...

>BITES THE HORSE OF THE NOSE

I meant to say "Bites the horse off the nose"
>>
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>>734158128
depends on the area, the real potato ones end up going to special care centers. the ones that are so potato'd out, they can never function without someone to wrangle them 24/7.

As for the schools, sometimes the ultra tards get there, but they don't last that long. Most tard programs in schools are just babysitting/animal control services for these mongoloids.
>>
>>734158128
Some are just functional enough to have a normal schooling with a sped class interlocked and in other cases it's either the parents, or budgeting problems

Source: teacher in training
>>
>>734158474
>bites the horse off the nose
EVEN BETTER!!!!
>>
Its me, pog guy with another story

>the glorious 90s continue in my shitty highs hook
>pog tard still doing his thing, albeit with slightly less pogs
>see he's wearing a street sharks shirt
>lightning strikes
>me and the boys hatch a plan over some unfiltered camels
>next week we find pog boy and give him the good news. Turns out the pog fairy is Gunna give him a wish to make up for his lost goods
>he's fucking elated. Says he wants more pogs
>tell him pog fairy said she can't do that, but instead us Gunna make him a street shark
>he starts screeching in joy
> we drag his ass to the art room and tell him to put on these shorts
>we happened to have a pair of women's jeans cutoffs, lucky for him
>also tell him to put on this special street shark salve
>it's red paint
>finally tell him to complete the transformation he will need to put on the shark nose
>he let's us glue a funnel to his Goddamn face
>we are barely able to contain our laughter as we ask him "what's your street shark name?"
>Deadpan face he looks at me and says
>stehv
>"Steve the shark?"
>no, just stehv
>tell Steve that the evil villain from the show is in the cafeteria and he needs to fight him
>he bolts and so do we, not wanting to miss it
>get to lunch room as the tard punches the elderly black security guard while yelling
>"I'M STEHV"

God that was a good day
>>
>grade 8
>tard with severe autism in my class
>In music class his personal tard keeper leaves him to go somewhere else
>he doesn't play any instruments so he just sits at back
>drum dudes start telling us what he does at back when his keeper isnt there
>one day music teacher is not there, so we're not playing our instruments
>I sit beside tard that day and witness the magic
>he's fucking jerking his wanker through his pants
>I tell him to stop as a joke
>looks over to me dead in the eye
>looks away continues to jerk
>finishes his load, stops for a bit, then continues
>friends and I joke that hes jerking to his personal tard keeper which is some short old grumpy irish lady

also
>same kid
>personal tard keeper leaves class for a bit
>he's at the back by himself
>you can clearly see he's jerking it
>teacher tells him to stop
> looks at her, then continues
>>
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Okay, /b/. Tuck yourself in for this one.

> be me
> be 17 pedo creepo
> be into weird fetishs
> tard porn really gets my rocks going, kek
> always dreamed of fucking underage tard and her having outburst while doing it for the lulz
> hell, when I think about it, I used to chuckle a little bit while jerking it
> I never thought it'd become a reality

Continue?
>>
>>734158575
Horse guy here, my sides are in orbit laughing at this shit. I'm going to bed, night anon
>>
>>734158476
>>734158483
Huh. So you guys have like a program for it and everything? That's cool. Are they like really common then? I suppose the US has like 50 times the population as my place but still. I've literally never seen a tard in school get up. Ever. Hell, it was a big deal when my school got people to help with deaf kids.
>>
>>734158075
Yes, the orgins of bronies should be told
>>
>>734158770
pls
>>
>>734156659
lol he fucked a spud

is your daughter a spudlet?
>>
Good thread
>>
>>734157241
lmfao
>>
OP here. I am very proud of this thread.
>>
Kek.
>>
>>734158819
We have separate schools but parents want their kids to be in a normal school. So their kids can "feel normal" I've observed a class where there was an obvious tard kid... Couldn't even write words written on the board, and the parents were adamant that he was a genius. Special snowflakes...
>>
>>734158474
I'm fuckin dying
>>
>>734148380
Just remembered another story. Fuck it, I'll bite
>Be me, sophomore year of high school
>Phys Ed was mandatory for all sophomores
>Choice between regular and weights, I chose weights
>Especially Autistic Tard in that class
>He was generally quiet, didn't act much like a tard
>His list of qualifications include: Tying a noose with a jump rope and putting it around his neck; trying to pull a 75lb. dumbbell (heaviest at the time) off of the rack before our teacher ran over and moved him away.
He got hit in the face during dodgeball once, that was fun. IDK who did it. My friend said it he accidentally did it, but I could've sworn he was out. I'm getting off-topic.
>Either 2nd or 3rd quarter
>Gym partner and I are doing incline.
>All of a sudden, start hearing "I can't do it, I can't"
>Hitting his head back and forth with his hands before he started hitting his para (who our friends called tardgar, we watch a lot of Brendaniel, digressing again)
>Open palm on the shoulder, didn't do much but it still was fucking funny.
>No one laughed until after, everyone was just watching.
>Flipped a chair after being told to sit.
>Had to be sent home.
>Friends and I were all laughing our asses off in the locker room.
Oh, that was a great class.
>>
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>>734158819

What i remember is from over 20 years ago now... But they had a special room where they would keep the potatoes so they wouldn;t cause trouble with everyone else. Usually they led them around outside collecting bottles or doing other bullshit busywork to keep them away from other people.

From time to time you would get the odd parent who wanted their kids integrated with the other kids. What would actually happen is they would raptor screech and pull the rest of the class down so nothing could get done (my class only got around 1/4 the way through grade 9 math because of this). Then again, the tards wern't as bad as some of the kids in my class... We had some that were the results of first cousins or brother/sister reproducing .

As for tard schools, they have one for the really bad ones to get them to a point where they can have people do stuff with them, but if they are really bad, they usually end up being committed to a special needs center.
>>
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>>734158863
Fine, one more.

>be me
>still a special needs horse farm barn staff
>have this one tard, around 16
>more on the high-functioning side
>after last lesson of the day, barn's quiet, lights are turned off, getting ready to leave
>finish putting away tack from tard's lesson
>noticed tard was missing
>wondering where the fuck he went
>start looking around
>look around in hayloft, staircase, lounge, nope.
>go into dark barn, stealthily
>metal gear solid-ing this shit
>look into stalls as I go by
>look into one
>freeze in sheer terror and shock
>jesus. fucking. christ.
>tard was behind one of our mares, fingering it
>how he didn't get kicked in the face amazes me to this day
>boss kicks tard out of program, banned from returning
>tard probably was a brony
>pic related: sexually assaulted horse
>>
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>>734158885
This one's for you ;)

> be like June
> I dropped out of school like 3 years ago so I don't give a fuck

> Cousin is 5th grade
> Cousin looks like her dad, too much like her dad. Not into gay stuff/incest
> Next year she is going up to middle school so the school puts on this huge ass, shitty graduation
> Mummie wants me to go and anons don't argue with their mummies

> We show up
> It's gloomy as hell
> See a bunch of whores walking around
> Would rape but sadly see there dad's and since I live in fucking Florida must dad's are fucking meat heads
> We walk in
> Family socializes with other normies
> Only talk when spoken too
> Gaze around gym
> 9 out of FUCKING 10 downie girl
> blonde hair, just like in OP's pic
> melt inside, I can't tell if my balls dropped or I was in love
>>
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>>734148716
Tiny harmonica man btfo
Fucking kek
>>
>>734159205
>>734159477
Ahh. So parents can just be like "Get my kid in a class" and that's it? No need for a rudimentary test or whatever? Is it just a case of moms getting pissy and school people just agreeing to make the noise go away?

Thanks for clearing all this up for me btw. I appreciate it.
>>
>>734158925
no
>>
I got a story to tell

>Be Me

>Be Second Grade

>Playground was basically this big field and some basketball nets

>Thre was also an actual playground with slides, n monkey bars n shit

>That play ground was always surrounded by the tards

>Friend Aks me if we can play over there

>Me being a dumbass says no and that it's controlled by the "Special Eds"

>I actually though there names where all Ed

>Friend somehow tells everyone that that playground if for the special eds

>no one plays on it ever since
>>
>>734159094
Got a final story for you from pog guy

>senior year, no longer an edgy smoking faggot
>still hang with my boys, today we are in an arcade
>in strolls Steve the street shark.
>he comes up to us, apparently thinks we are all friends
>we tend to feel a bit bad at the shit we've done to him over the years so we let him shadow us
>big mistake
>he absolutely pestered us all fucking day
>getting my claw game on when he starts screeching cause I won a miss Pac-Man plush
>I want it I want ittttt
>nearly give it to him when Jacky pulls my arm and asks Steve "why do you want it?"
>SHE'S SO PRETTY SHE'S MY WIFE
>bad move tard
>Jacky snatches miss pacman and starts to viciously hump her mouth
>street shark Steve is screaming
>Marc joins in and holds her legs and begins hump as he yells over him saying "TAKE IT YOU FUCKING SLUT"
>Tard bolts away crying
>we are not done. No sir.

>get my old polaroid snap and pull (to all the youngsters who may not know what that is, it's a camera that takes and prints pictures instantly)
>Start taking lewd photos of miss pacman and putting them in the tard locker
>put my dick in her mouth and snap a picture
>next week Jacky took it home and had his dog hump it and snapped a photo
>this goes on for a month
>we gave miss pacman a bukkake
>finally it's graduation day
>tard is fucked up from our abuse
>we say we are sorry and have a gift for him to make up for it
>he opens the box to find a semen stained encrusted miss pacman with a bunch of used condoms and her legs torn off.
>he drops to his knees cradling miss pacman screaming at the sky
>MIDS PAC MANGGGGGGGGGG
>I'M SWORRRRRRY
>WHO DID DIS TO YOUUUUHU
>he held it and cried while he grabbed his diploma

My kingdom for the picture his mom has of him at graduation holding that fucking doll
>>
>>734159919
Cont?
>>
Quality read
>>
>>734160325
I need that picture.
>>
>>734146682
>be me
>fresman year in HS
>go to the bathroom with my friends after lunch as usual
>be peeing and notice a tard walking toward me
>of all the urinals he picks the one right besides ne
>he gets fucking naked and all my friends run to the door and leave me alone with the tard (Im still peing so i cant get out)
>the turd stares at me for a while and starts touching my knees
>I kick his hand and run to the door peeing all my pant
>get out with my pant wet and friends joking about me getting raped
>>
>>734160325
Oh god if only you had pictures still saved of you fucking around with this tard
>>
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>>734160329
>>
>>734158770
>>734159919

Forgot to mention this is like part 3 of my greentext cancer

> graduation starts
> blah, blah, future of america bullshit
> put hands into shorts out of boredom
> realized I was the only one wasn't dressed fancy, shitty Nike shorts and pizza-stained white shirt
> Didn't realize it at the time but tard girl was gone
> play with pecker until chode reaches full length (6 inches)
> tell mum I'm going to bathroom

That waistband trick really works. ;)

> Walk out, I'm certain I'm the only one out there
> Walking around
> Trying to find bathroom
> I find it... but I also find her walking around
> get an idea

I'm pure autist so my dick controls my brain so, I get an idea.

Cont.

>>734160329
Yeah, here it is for your pleasure ;)
>>
>>734160562
Me too friend. What happened was I recalled first story and then immediately called up Jacky for some more cause I drink myself stupid most nights now. He told me about 5 stories but the 3 I told were the best.

The 90s were a simpler time when you could fuck with a tard and not go to jail
>>
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>>734159959

we have a problem with douchebag parents who like to helicopter parent and threaten lawyers. The school administration doesn't want to get sued for segregating a tard, who 99 times out of 100 requires it.

Plus now with this ultra liberal inclusion bullshit, it's gotten worse, where they want them in classes disrupting them. Friend of mine's wife deals with special needs kids. It honestly sucks.
>>
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>>734146888
>>734147088

Gotta check them digits. Triple eights followed by double eights? Rare!
>>
>>734156659
>turns out being mentally challenged doesn't mean she can't have children
top kek
that's some tard shit right there
still props for taking care of the kid
>>
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>>734160073
Anyone want me to Cont.
>>
>>734160676
I know right? Unfortunately the only person who may have these photos is this tard. He probably board up with thr polaroid of our dicks and the dog humping miss pacman, the tard in a fedora in trenchcoat, playing detective trying to figure out who raped and murdered miss pacman man
>>
>>734146682
I have a few instances in my time working and in school to share

>be me, 8th grade
>go to catholic school so all the younger kids got paired up with "prayer partner" for mass
> held mass every week, prayer partners were supposed to help their little blossoming shits into becoming more "holy" and "reverent"
> my friend, Charlie, was paired with a pretty full-tard aspergers kid
> plenty of instances of charlie dealing with this little autists bullshit, one in particular comes to mind however
> tard starts pointing at all the pictures in mass, right after the Eucharist
> for non catholic fags, this part of the Mass is when everyone remains silent for 5-10 mins
> tard starts blurring out incoherent babble about the paintings on the wall
> peoplestaring.jpeg
> charlie desperately attempts to powerlessly laugh the situation off
> gets worse:
> tard starts crying and yelling about how the church is flooding
> everyone looking at this point
> teachers rescue tard from the area impacted by this natural disaster
> mass continues

Anybody want more?
>>
>>734160894
I'd love that friend
>>
>4th grade
>it's 1990
>epic tard we all make fun of
>he'd shriek out in class at odd times
>randomly would flip his eyelids in class and stare at people
>we'd tease the everliving shit out of him
>he'd get quiet and just stare at the ground
>last day of school, waiting for bus on the playground
>he's sitting on the ground with a 32oz fucking can of Hawaiian Punch
>type of can you need a can opener for
>he's banging a rock on it to open it, tears in his eyes
>a wave of feels hit me like a tsunami
>i come over, say let's get this open ok?
>walk off stealth mode to cafeteria, I grab opener from the back, open quick and get us out and back where we're supposed to be
>smiling fucker hugs me
>last time I saw him, 4th year is it at that school

I'm 35 now, still think about it every couple of months, with guilt for all the shit I put him through.

It comes back to you older you get...trust me.
>>
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>>734160775
Sounds awful. I'm glad we never had to deal with that. That's all the questions I have for today. Have a good one, man.
>>
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>>734156659
sounds like you're the 'tard
>>
>>734161003
Do it nucka
>>
>>734160729
Please.
>>
>>734161071
>It comes back to you older you get...trust me.

This is true.
>>
Horse guy here, should I finally put my drunk ass to bed, or should I keep rambling about barn tard stories
>>
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>>734161037
Alright since you asked here I go:

>Be Me
>Senior in HighSchool
>Tards from some programs always come one campus
>Tards arrive at 8:00 and leave by 2:00
>Be in Math with a Junior friend
>Teacher Leaves windows open to cool off classroom
>In the middle of Lecture
>suddenly
>GRAWRARAWRARWR
>Hear Tard Screech
>Me and fiend kek
>Teacher looks out window and sees nothing since a food tent is blocking the view
>Goes back to lesson
>Engage Tard Screech again
>Entire Class Loses it
>MFW
>>
>>734161350
Get some sleep man, insomnia has been known to cause memory loss.
>>
>>734161252
Maybe that's why I get fucking blitz on alcohol most days. Cause I fucked with a pacman loving, pog collecting, street shark cosplaying tard.

Or it could be because it's fucking awesome to drink yourself stupid in a world going to shit.

Stop acting like a fag. Youve never had morals, you just act like you do now cause you worry about if someone mistreats you.
>>
here's one of my own from a little while ago
>>
>>734161424
Kek, pretty good
>>
>>734146888
Czech'd
>>
>>734161350
Good night, sweet stallion. Come back soon.
>>
>>734161596
Oh fuck me, lmao
>>
>>734161522
Not him, I'm the guy he quoted but I disagree completely. Regret and remorse are signs of maturing. Kids are mean as fuck. You grow up though, and most change. Reflection is healthy. Morbid reflection is not, though.
>>
>>734161503
Fuck, that explains a lot about me actually. I guess night then Anon.

...

Oh, also

>BITES THE FUCKING HORSE OF THE NOSE

ok seriously now, night Anons. Man this hangover is gonna suck, I have to be at the barn tomorrow.
>>
>>734157740
ikr
>>
>>734161099
Dat file name
>OP hears a sound

Kek
>>
>>734148416
Learn proper grammar and people just might be able to understand you.
>>
>>734161617
I got one more from the Same school where a teacher would've beat up the tards if he didn't now they were tards
>>
Koksal knows

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TULRVWVj77o
>>
>>734161721
Look, you seem decent enough, so I'm not Gunna insult you but I will say that I don't agree. Kids are what a natural human is. A mean sack of shit. Ever wonder why we need to teach kids to share?
>>
>>734161151
> be in second grade, same catholic school
> have tard named Ryan in class
> Ryan was bullied by everyone
> one day in class Ryan was sitting at his desk
> teacher was trying to learn us, Ryan was just scribbling on his notebook as usual
> tard suddenly rips ass
> whole class laughs asses off
> meanwhile Ryan was waddling out of the room trying to wipe his off
> had to get sent home because he reeked so badly of fecal matter

Another:

>Work in retail past two years for high school job ig
> see my fair share of tards come through my checkout line
> one comes through my line maybe about once a month
> always with mom, dono why
> always whispers (quite audibly) "i always chose this line because I think he is cute"
> harmless, yes, but worrisome? Also yes.
>>
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>>734161831
Friend, if you wanna tell more I'm all ears.
>>
>>734161885
Of course, I said that myself. Kids are mean. You learn, grow, and mature, with older people hopefully pushing you when you're caught.
>>
>who knows when
>have a reputation for doing shit with computers
>tard walks up to me from a few grades lower
>"hey anon! I know you're good with computers. I'm trying to build my own! Can you give me some good parts?"
>look up names for toasters
>SMEG 4 sounds like a good name
>give him list with really old shit AMI graphics card
>CPU is the SMEG 4 toaster
>tard goes home and asks his dad to order the parts
>dad does research
>tard goes apeshit, makes a video about me and throws it on his shitty youtube channel
>>
>>734161925
>harmless, yes, but worrisome? Also yes

My sides.
>>
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>>734160729

> go up to little girl who's standing there
> I think her parents were also retarded because she must've been alone

> go up to her
> "Hey there! My name is Timmy (not actual name) whatcha doin' all by yourself?"
> She doesn't answer
> "Hey, whatcha doin' there all alone?"
> She anwsers that time
> "j..just.. walking a-around... skipping... class"
> mfw tard that it was school
> Realize she's one of those tards who thinks she's a bad ass and screams "niggers" in class for the lulz
> I tell her in a comically cool voice
> "Well, then you do wanna hang out?"
> Tard says "S...Sure."
> Tard blushes

Tbh I'd rate myself a 6/10 to most girls but for some reason to tards I'm like a 9/10.

> tard clearly likes me in a romantic way
> I say real smooth
> "Here can I show you something sick as fuck."
> She doesn't think I'd say fuck
> She thinks it's rad
>She agrees, excited
> I tell her
> "Okay, let's go into the boy's bathroom, it's that secretive."

I'm not much one for love, but in that moment, I fell in love with her gorgeous blonde hair and white dress her mom had a bought for her. Oh well.
>>
>>734150460
10/10
Would pee on boy and get ass beat again
>>
>>734160325
fukin golden
haven't kek'd that hard in a while
>>
>>734162003
I meant to explain better, but I also said before Im not the most sober man here.

I'm unable to properly express myself, so let's put a pin in this. You are correct, but I wish to add more
>>
>>734162132
So did you get downs?
>>
oc here

>6th grade baseball practice
>Weather is shitty so running wind sprints in gym
>Small town school where politics run shit so Trey our class tard is on the team
>Getting near the end of practice
>We are all rekt from running
>Trey is especially gasping and struggling
>After the last sprint, Trey runs over and grabs the coach's soda can
>Starts gulping that shit down
>Immediately goes pale
>Starts tard wailing and projectile vomiting
>Turns out he grabbed the coach's dip spit can and chugged the whole thing
>Entire team is in pain writhing on the ground laughing so hard
>>
>>734162297
I'm drunk too, cheers
>>
>>734162132
you did not.
>>
>>734162132
Please, we need this.
>>
>Be me
>Part of group of normies in Jr High
>Tard class alway tries to do shit to impress us for some reason, even though were asshole bullies to them cause it's junior high
>One day in the field by a gargage bin
>Flock of tards comes over all smug
>"Hey anons, look what our TardBro can do"
>One of them gets up in the garbage bin
>Tries to backflip off it
>Slams head
>Falls to the ground crying
>"SHUTTUP IT WOULDN'T BE FUNNY IF IT WAS ONE OF YOU GUYS"
>Our sides are in intergalactic orbit
>Will never forget the day the Potato tried to fly

True Story.
>>
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>>734161960
Alright Last Story Boys N Girls but I'll be lurking and Jerking

>Be Me
>Sophomore in HighSchool
>Have a teacher who is stereotypical New Yorker
>When he gets Mad he puts on his accent and yells
>School has Seniors who tend to do shit during their free time. This will come into play later
>Seniors tends to cause disruptions
>Be Starting off lesson
>Suddenly wild tard screeches are hear
>Imagine if a Giant was hollering and wailing
>Teacher thinks it's the Seniors and puts on the accent
>Jokingly yells "Hey Shuddap"
>Wailing continues
Teacher looks outside
>Realises they where the Tard kids
>Says oh and continues with lesson
>MFW
>>
>>734162293
What drives the point home is that he saw me win the plus, saw Jacky and mac hump the thing, and we fucking gave him the doll in a gift wrapped box and he still questions who could've done such a thing
>>
>>734162372
Retard horsefucker is drunk too, but he went to bed
>>
>>734155117
>>
>be HS junior
>have this one autist that sits in the library and just plays on a school computer while other students try to study
>and by "play" I mean "watches minecraft and lego video game videos on YouTube at high volumes"
>library staff never stops him because muh tard equality
>decide to fuck with him to get him to shut up
>bring a wireless mouse to school, plug it in to computer he always sits at, take position
>he comes in and starts watching videos, I make my move
>I jerk the mouse around as he tries to click on videos, click on unrelated stuff, even close the browser
>culminate with maintaining enough control to hit the shutdown button
>tard flips his shit, begins pounding the table
>smashes keyboard in two with tard strength
>I nope it out of there, come back later to grab my wireless mouse's connector. nobody saw it thankfully

Tard got banned from the library computers, and he never came back because no point to the library if he couldn't play on computer.
>>
>>734162636
Do we all enjoy tard stories more when drunk?

Answer, yes
>>
>>734162132
so u basically fucked a kid? how old was she?
>>
>>734162563
Enjoyable. Thanks anon
>>
I actually have quite a few, considering I was best friends with an aspie for 9 years of my life. Shit was cash, he was really pretty cool, in his own autistic way.

>Be me, freshman in highschool
>Best buddy, we'll call him B, was forced to work concessions at a football game.
>B hates football
>B hates the smell of shitty popcorn.
>Even worse, the school decided it would be a good way to be a good way to get rid of excess pasta.
>they had him essentially give away straight up plain noodles.
>B is miserable.
>Chad from other school walks by concession stand.
>Chad is being a dick to a younger student, pushing him down, roughing him up, etc.
>B's autistic sense of justice activates.
>B does not like
>B throws a noodle at Chad.
>Hits Chad right in the face
>directhit.jpg
>Chad does not like noodles in face
>upsettispaghetti.gif
>Chad tries to fight B
>I trip Chad
>B kicks Chad while he's down.
>Chad goes away.
>B and I eat noodles.

We got suspended for fighting and such, but it was worth it. He really was being a dick to that kid.
>>
>>734148736
I <AM> the better man! Hell, i was a better man than this tard when I was two.
>>
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>be me
>high school freshman
>late for school
>go through front entrance because I don't want to be late
>tard guards come through the opposite end of the hallway I'm entering with a few tards with them
>speed walking because im not in the mood to be lectured about how unsafe it is to run in the hallways
>femtard notices me and walks up to me arms open saying "HI BOOOYYY HIIII"
>femtard wraps her arms around me
>deargodhelpme.png
>she gives me the sloppiest kiss somewhere on my upper neck but under my jaw
>eyes wide open in shock
>tard guards forcefully grab her and drag her sway
>tard spit is dropping from my neck
>end up walking to class and being late, had to go to detention afterwards
>>
>>734162878
>upsettispaghetti.gif
Kek
>>
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>be me in 6th grade
>find out that the new tard hates the sound of whistling
>decide to test it out with my friends
>follow him around playground whistling as loud as we can
>taken aback when he starts screeching
>pleasantly surprised
>start to craft master plan
>install dog whistle app on phone with my friends
>2 days later we find him in the playground
>we all put that shit on full blast
>he turns around
>bloody murder in his eyes
>think to myself "oh shit"
>starts jittering
>he goes full tasmanian devil and whips up a tornado
>mind you, it was crowded with a bunch of other kids
>hits around 20 of them in his whirlwind
>a few got bruised, some badly
>parents of victims want the tard out
>mfw the school never found out it was us
>mfw we never had to see the tard again
>>
>>734162963
That's pretty goddamn epic, if brief.
>>
>>734163085
Did the Lord's work anon
>>
>>734163085
Put that kid in the UFC
>>
>>734157462
>>tells us he's has like 10 sons because of how much sex he has

MY FUCKING SIDES
>>
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>>734162132
Btw, I didn't even consider that someone else could've been in the bathroom with us, I've always been one lucky bastard when it comes to these things, like the time with my first girlfriend's pug, but that's a story for a different time.

> We go into the restroom
> For some reason she makes a b-line for the stall
> We go in
> I slowly, close the door and lock it
> I whisper
> "Okay, look, this might be a little weird
Trying to make shit super sappy and romantic, after all it was a downie child, those are the type of normies who wish for prince charming that make you wanna burn the princess toys and curb stomp their brains.
> "But just now when I saw you, I fell in love with you and I was wondering if we could be a couple?"
> act super-shy
> She looks at me, deep and passionate with those cold tard eyes and says
> " O-O-O-Ofcourse Timmy, I-I-I-I-I love you"
> We're almost nose to nose
> I passionately kiss her
> We start making out
> grab her ass
>>
Biggity bump
>>
>>734162845
I'm legally obligated to say hardly legal.
>>
There was a tard at school that had a lunch box. We had to line up before going inside to start classes. He hated being touched on the back and would flip the fuck out, screaming while doing a goddamn helicopter spin with it...was hilarious at the time, though he connected once on someone and dropped them. Shit got real.
>>
>>734154510
cont.

I forgot about one faggot who was full aspy, was high functioning i guess, so i didn't really think of him as a tard. cringy af though

>sophmore year
>nigga lookin' like sid from ice age
>have gym class with him
>me and some other kids make fun of him for reasons
>mainly because he told these gay, fake ass stories
>had obsession with normal pen his grandfather apparently gave him after WWII
>told us he put his grandmother down for some reason
>told us he buried her in his backyard
>told us he got into a bad car accident and saw heaven and hell and was revived 3 times from clinical death
>wanted to be a big bad army man
>would always try to be alpha and call people out on shit he perceived to be false
>dumbfuck.png
>one day in gym we ask why he tries to look cool by lying like a retard
>tells us to fuck off, says he never lies
>we make fun of him
>he attempts to make fun of us
>bully him
>someone chews up his precious pen
>starts talking a lot about AR15s and shooting
>starts telling animal torture stories
>not sure if lying anymore
>get called down to principal's office
>apparent threats by tard sid to shoot up school
>kek hard, gym buddies in office with me
>say it wouldn't surprise us
>he got off the hook, haven't spoken to him since
>>
>>734157462
Not one daughter. Crazy.
>>
>>734163408
You just want to leave us in suspense. God damn it, man. The king of story telling, but this shit's getting juicy.
>>
>>734163530
Meant to add, when I saw There's Something About Mary and her brother would lose his shit if you touched his ear, I had amazing flashback right there.
>>
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>>734146682
>be me
>at school, 7th grade.
>tell teacher i got to go to the bathroom
>go to bathroom, go in stall, bored as fuck.
>think to myself "i should piss on the floor"
>i piss on floor
>feelsgoodman.jpg
>some short ass nigger comes in, named tahzahn
>"are you fuckin pissin on the floor?"
>oh shit, he got me.
>i play it cool. "woops, my bad."
>i finish and walk out of the stall. nigger still there
>nigger says , "ok (my name)
>runs out the bathroom fast as fuck
>start running after him to tell him no to whatever the fuck he was about to do
>"(my name) JUST PISSED ON THE FLOOR", he screams down the hall
>everyone fucking hears it, and laughs.
>start crying, go in room.
>teacher and friends are laughing
>fml
>>
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>>734149072
>mfw watch mlp and have Asperger's
>>
>>734163822
Fuck is wrong with you fam? What good could have possibly come from that?
>>
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>>734163822
Goddamn

The tard got the upper hand in this story
>>
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>>734163408

> She stops me
> "L-L-Look Timmy, I don't t-t-t-t-think I'm ready"
I didn't want to let her go, Hell, I couldn't, I had plans to go north and do some porn, a dream of mind.

If she would've walked out she would've told her parents and there went my 20s.

> So, I grabbed her throat and slammed her head against the wall
> strangling her while she's crying
> I stare those cold tard eyes that I was just in love with but now, now I was more fired up then the depths of 40 hells combined.
> I punched her a couple times because she wouldn't shut her whore mouth, in reality the only thing I could do was cover her mouth
> Instead I threw her into the wall
> she's on the ground, tears streaming
> ALPHA MODE
> Take her dress and pull her towards my hard cock
> still furious, so furious I tore part of the dress off
Get another idea
>>
>>734163085
DELET THIS
>>
>>734164506
Well then, that took a turn I did NOT expect. Can't wait though.
>>
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>>734164506
The suspense
Fucking cont OP
>>
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>>734164506
*knock knock knock*
Get in the party van OP
>>
>>734162878
Another one:

Little backstory, I went to a shitty little Catholic School, and we had just gotten chromebooks, and they too, were shitty and gimmicky, as the curriculum still mostly did not use them.

>Be me, still freshman
>B has gotten the idea that he wants to be an author
>B has entered the inevitable weeb stage that all autists seem to go through.
>B begins to write a book.
>His Weeb tendencies shine through in the book.
>Has literally hundreds of Tabs open, doing research on grimoires and such.
>Allforscience.jpg
>reach May
>Book is now a full 50 page Google Doc.
>Story isn't half bad, still very autistic. Poor spelling.
>whatevenisgrammar.spellcheck.
>still has every tab he's ever opened open on that chromebook.
>chromebook cannot handle intense grimoire levels.
>fireball.mp3.
>school's intensely nosey and big-brother-esque IT guy, Brian, takes notice of what is actually in those tabs.
>Devilworship.jpg.
>Brian tells the principal.
>Mid-May, B is called to the office.
>The principal, (we called her The Yonks) is not happy.
>"There will be no Satan of any sort in my good Christian school."
>actualquote.jpeg
>B unsuccessfully argues for his book.
>B is forced to close all 103 of his tabs.
>combobreaker.exe
>B unscrews every screw in his locker to make himself feel better.
>Brian is forced to fix the locker and check all the others when B's top fell in.

I remember being so annoyed that he had all those tabs open.
>>
My time has come
>be me
>middle school
>have the same five tards in my class for the whole three years
>one of them was this fuckhuge beluga whale tard named stefan
>literally captain underpants if he was a tard
>has a very extended history of throwing tantrums, throwing shit, not saying much, and drinking more water than most sane people would deem sensible
>one day
>walking by during lunch
>the mighty man-tatoe notices me
>accidentally make eye contact
>rushes towards me with the power of a freight train made of human skin
>punts be to the ground with his lard
>have to take a minute to breathe
>tard strength is not a myth
>recover from incident and move on

mfw later that day he stripped naked in the middle of class shortly afterwords
>>
>>734150460
Top notch m8
>>
>Be softmore year of highschool
>Finish eating lunch with friends 1 and 2, decide to walk outside to wait at the shop doors
>Tard named Terry walks over to us
>Me and 2 of my friends start talking to him
>Pretty retarded , acted like a badass though
>One of our friends decided to be a bitch and stand about 15 feet away alone because salty we made fun of him
>Friend 1 decided to throw a mini cookie from his lunchbox at salty friend
>Misses
>Tard sees, asks for a cookie
>"I can do better than that"
>Fucking rares back and throws the cookie full force into the God damn walkway covering
>It's metal, the cookie fucking explodes making an extremely loud sound
>"Shit"
>Takes off full retard sprint
>Me, friend 1 and 2 plus salty friend start laughing til we piss ourselves
He always asked for cookies after that. Sometimes he ate them and other times he threw them at other people. Good times
>>
>>734164213
I thought op was the tard on that one
>>
>>734158339
>double chromosome
>>
>>734146682
very similar story

>be high school art class
>every class gets a tard and a tard wrangler so they can feel normal
>tard wrangler is this 50yo fat volunteer bitch who doesn't give a fuck
>teacher is a skinny hippy type
>be painting
>the tard (legit named mark) gets up and starts rustling through cabinets
>tard wrangler repeats softly 'dont do that mark' but doesnt budge
>mark grabs brush-cleaning bucket full of dirty paint water
>dumps it down my back inside my shirt
>rage mode activate
>proceed to beat the everliving fuck out of the tard, who starts off laughing but is soon wailing
>tard wrangler gets pissy and finally separates her fat ass from her chair to break up the fight
>punch tard wrangler in her dumb cunt face, resume beating mark
>art teacher attempts to break up the fight, i make a fist at him and he backs away like a hippy coward
>mark is cowering in the fetal position shrieking as loud as he can, the rest of the class is paralyzed
>i snap out of it and stop the beatdown, eyes of terror surround me
>art teacher demands i turn myself into the principals office
>no worries, i want this shit on my record
>go to principals office, he's not in. secretary tells me go back to class
>went to the mall for the rest of the day
>back in class next day
>tards dont fuck with me after that

>except one time im walking up the stairs and a gibberish-speaking tard ahead of me heard me talking
>turns around and kicks me right in the face
>ohreally.png
>drag him to the top of the stairs by his leg
>throw him down the stairs, hospitalized
>nobody ratted me out
>this time no tards fuck with me anymore

zero fucks. tards shouldnt be blended with normies
>>
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>>734164506
> Take ripped portion in hands
> Take ripped portion and while she's down on the ground and wrap it around her mouth to use as a sort of... gag.
> apparently when I punched her/threw her to the ground some teeth started to break
> so when I wrapped that gag around her some teeth broke off
> M E G A K E K
> She's bent over, doggy style position
> She's wearing pink, polka dot panties
> They're hot already but what really got my motors going was when I really she was wet/pissed herself, she was so scared
> You can still hear her struggling, but, luckily, no one showed up so I was fine
> I held her down by the back of her neck as I pulled her panties down
> Spank her ass
> she squeals, like a fucking pig
Cont.
>>
>>734165592
>inb4 everybody walk the dinosaur
>>
>>734146888
>>734147088
>>734147228
holy shit
888
88
8

all same anon. this is the end time.
>>
>>734165592
This is getting really fucked up, but can't help not knowing what happens next. We need to make sure this thread doesn't prune.
>>
>>734165936
I fucked miss pacman

Do you think Jesus will forgive me?
>>
>>734148716
>takes acception
You are clearly the tard
>>
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>be me
>12 yo
>today is pizza day at school
>midget arab tard gets the pizza everyday (pic looks like him kinda)
>push him down the stairs and yell
time to go down syndrome
>he breaks his collerbone
>never caught
>>
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> Be me
> Grade 10
> Tard couple kissing at top of stairs.
> Always loud, messy and gross.
> I say "oh no" to my friend Danny.
> Boy tard leans in to hard.
> Girl tard steps back and falls down the stairs.
> Boy tard keeps leaning and follows.
> Danny laughing so hard that he falls.
>mfw
>>
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>>734165592
> I pull out my cock from Nike shorts
> I gained two inches, It's now 8 inches, that's how hard I was like pure rock
> I slide it in her fat little cunt
> I rammed it, and then and let me remind you, she was a child, so she was still pretty tight.
> She's pretty much screaming at this point
> No one shows up so who gives a fuck
> I keep fucking until I jizz once, cock unsatisfied
> I mean my dick was really sensitive but I knew this was my one chance
> I pulled it out her pussy, creampied
and that's when I got another idea.
>>
>>734166099
>>734166114
Kek
>>
>>734148380
>>Take auto class
>>Everyone is at least somewhat intelligent
>>
>be me
>former tard guard/wrangler/sitter
>did in home care for tard named Roscoe he was 24 at time
>Ros although retarded is a cunt
>high functioning but super goddamn lazy, about 260lbs stinks worse than a dumpster fire
>only cares about wrestling, food, and pushy
>he's tried groping female staff and nurses
>Ros also doesn't care about age as he will flirt with any woman he thinks is attractive
>program coordinator thinks it's a good idea to take him to vacation bible school at my wife's church
she's religious, I'm not, rather be home on Sunday watching tv or sleeping
>take ros to vbs things start out fine but gradually escalate
>first incident is when he tries to hug my wife (we don't allow him to high anyone period, he likes to use it as a way to grope women)
>I remind him of the rule but he's clearly pissed but he stil complies
>a few similar instances occur of the course of the evening but are easily redirected
>then the shit hits the fan
>Ros asks an 11yo girl if he can fuck her once she turns 18
>girls parents hear this and pull her away while girls father threatens to beat his ass
>Ros goes full tard rage
f-bombs
punches hole in drywall
drops pants
>a co worker is there with her client as well but that dude is full potato and just stares at wall
>she calls our supervisor who calls the clients guardians and hauls ass to the church ( our office was only a five minute drive away)
>supervisor shows up we restrain Ros and load him in van once more backup arrives and take him to hospital to be sedated
>tard is taken home and put in bed as night staff arrives
>next day Ros is taken out of our care due to girls father pressing charges and guardians clearly pisses that the have to pay for damages done by him
>last I heard he had been registered as a sex offender after the incident, then placed in an institution after he tried to strangle his brother
>I quit shortly after and now drive forklift at an aluminum plant
>>
>>734166269
Christ on a bike, man, don't leave us in suspense like this.
>>
>>734166347
When I say that, most of the people in that class were either hicks pretending to be cowboys because that's what you do in the Midwest, or it was people looking for an easy A. Most of my friends in that class, luckily were either the cool hicks and the people that actually wanted to learn something.
>>
>>734156582
A fucking relic of the past
>>
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>>734166360
Holy shit. Yeah quitting was a solid choice.
>>
>>734159887
>>pic related: sexually assaulted horse

>dat thousand yard stare

poor horse
>>
>>734146682
>be me in 3rd grade
>music class
>for some reason tards join us today
>we get in big semi circle and they show us a movie about music or some shit i dont remember exactly
>group of friends and i notice one particularly angry tard nigress
>for some reason get idea to throw crayons at her
>toss half of one (had a few in pocket, dont remember why)
>targethit.jpg
>tard jerks around pissed off screaming "BLAOW? BLOAW BLAOW!"
>sides prepare to launch
>tard guard calms her down
>throw other half
>she looks right at us, and our faces are red as the devils ass holding back laughter
>she stands and screams "BLAOW CRAYN BLAOW CRAYN"
>ground control to major sides
>guard once again calms her down, not sure if we were unnoticed by guard or if guard just doesnt care
>give all of us (4 total) a crayon, and throw all at onoce
>holy mary, the mother of all battles is upon us
>tard stands and rushes us
>trips over people
>"BLAW CREEN! BLAOW BLOAW CREEN"
>sides have left orbit
>tard guard grabs her, and the tards leave
>finish movie, never heard about it again
>>
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>>734147228
>>734147088
>>734146888
>>
>>734159919
>> blonde hair, just like in OP's pic

why do they give all the tards that bowl cut? it makes them even more tardy.
>>
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>>734156502
When you named the tard "Q", I imagined him looking like this
>>
Not so much a story but this tard in my grade takes pics of a girls legs and shins, specifically any thing below the knee he takes pics of, and only this 1 girl
>>
>be me freshman year
>every thursday the tards walk through the lunch room on their way to the track
>my friends call this event the "tard parade"
>today is the first parade
>everything is cool until this goofy ass kid with down syndrome walks
>he looks me right in the eyes and sucks in his cheeks
>I fucking lose it
>friends are all confused so i try to explain what i just saw
>mid explanation another tard comes walking by so i stop
>tard passes and i restart
>the tards keep coming down the hall
>we all are laughing at at this point and don't even care about the story and are baffled by the number of tards pouring through the lunch room
>friend with a tard brother explains that they do this every thursday

and that's how the tard parade was born
>>
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>>734166360

that's fucked. don't blame you for quitting. Still not sure how people work with tards fulltime.
>>
>>734167056
When I was
A young boy...
>>
I put a worm in a retarded kids afro and it was still there the next day
>>
>>734167175
my father took me into the city
>>
>>734167313
to see...
>>
>>734167437
a marching band
>>
>>734167313
to see a marching tard
>>
>>734166732
i have more stories if anyones interested
>>
>>734167497
And then like any other boy. I jizzed on THE BAAAAAAAAAANND
>>
>>734157241
>>she stares straight at friend
>>screams: "HEY DARKIE" at him
>>his black ass goes full rage on this kid

who's who here? tard screamed at your friend?
>>
>>734167548
Yes Anon. Spray your stories all over my ass
>>
>>734167563
He said, "Will you defeat them? The taters? And all the tater wranglers?"
>>
>>734166360
I've done home health care for tardy for almost 3 years now and I have had similar stories as well man... It's fucking awful but my god the pay is almost good enough to deal with shit
>>
>>734146682
zez
>>
>>734166269
Bro, what's happened? Don't leave us like my dad left me.
>>
>>734158064
That would draw me closer fam
>>
>>734166269
Fake and gay
>>
>>734166269
> Spread her cheeks
> There's a little tiny shit stain where she doesn't wipe as good
> Fucking whore
> Don't care
> Forcefully shove cock in ass, doesn't even slide, literally rips her asshole open
> Again, don't care
> Keep on fucking till I cum buckets in her

You know that meme of the gay guy screaming in a porn? Well I literally moaned. And I fell.

> Didn't know what to do
> Spanked his ass
> Causes her to fall down
> Kek.

> Didn't realize it, but she had passed out
> Again, still didn't know what to do, all I could think was
"I gotta take a shit"
> So I go to the toilet and take a shit as I'm taking a shit I just stare at her bloody ripped asshole
I get an idea.

> After I shit, I take her unconscious body and mush her face into toilet
> stand there for a while
> Eventually, walk out of stall
> Wash hands and face
> Walk out

> Go back to graduation
> Mum/family doesn't care
> We stay in for another 15 mintues and then they dismiss

> We leave and as we're leaving I could've sworn I heard someone screaming
> Apparently me and my mom were the only ones who heard because she just said "It's none of our problem"

So that's my story. I never heard from the cops. But I remember my cousin telling me a couple years later

> "Hey, Did you know that the retarded blonde girl from my middle school killed herself last night? Apparently, she was raped during that graduation. It truly is a shame."

It truly is a shame, 4chan.
>>
>>734149072
yeah take it from me thats true
>>
>>734168278
Fake and G A Y
Thread posts: 300
Thread images: 62



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