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Step 1: ask a 34 year old kissless virgin anything. Step 2: feel

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 246
Thread images: 54

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Step 1: ask a 34 year old kissless virgin anything.
Step 2: feel better about your own pathetic life.
>>
>>734073651
what did you do in college if you went?
do you work?
whats a typical day in your life like?
>>
>>734073651
Lmao who's still in middle school at age 15?
>>
>>734073879
>what did you do in college if you went?

Molecular biology and getting horribly drunk.

>do you work?

I work in a supermarket atm.

>whats a typical day in your life like?

Wake up, run, work, gym, cook, read or vidya, go to bed.
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>>734074193
>molecular biology
>works in supermarket

Divine justice, somehow.

Why haven't you done anything about your virginity issue?
>>
>>734074425
>Divine justice, somehow.

It is. I was slacking off and half-assign things the whole time. Only above average grades in undergrad and grad, uninspiring PhD, unsuccesful postdoc.

>Why haven't you done anything about your virginity issue?

Did the usual stuff. Getting drunk and chat up people in clubs, at bars. Online dating. Shit like that.
>>
>>734073651
How can I feel better? I'm a 30 yo jobless kissless virgin living with parents. You're 5 years older, but you have something going on with your life at least
>>
>>734074697
You should go get a hooker to at least give you a blowjob or handy, man. Fur real. I mean... Don't you want to experience someone other than yourself touching you?

What do you look like? I've had two long term relationships and if I can, you should be able to.
>>
>>734075081
>What do you look like?

Plainly average. 5/10.
>>
>>734073651
So young.

What are you going to do when you're my age, 47 and still a kissless-virgin - like me :-)

Actually I quite like my life; I'm healthy, have good work, own my house, ... though a gf would be awesome too.

I suspect that I'm on the autism spectrum, but not far enough to trigger any testing.
>>
i feel like if you wanted to lose your virginity you wouldve done so.
you want something more than losing it to some bimbo dont you though?
>>
20yo kissless virgin reporting in. but its mostly by choice. not interested in dating till i can be financially stable
>>
>>734076256
No fucking way...
>>
ha! fuck you! lost my virginity at 20, your argument is invalid!
>>
>old virgins

if you're not a pathetic loser, you must be one of those rare hicks that doesn't want to fuck his sister
>>
>>734076690
it is even more valid, faggot
>>
Do you ever think having a girlfriend would be nice or have you become used to your lifestyle?
>>
Broooooooo you realize you all realize you're going to die one day right?
You're not Phoenix downing this shiiit.. once you die you're done. No respawns.
>>
>>734076486
>you want something more than losing it to some bimbo dont you though?

I'm perfectly fine with some bimbo. Unfortunately, most bimbos don't go for the autistic fuck.

>>734076790

But I am a pathetic loser.
>>
>>734076790
???
so most of guys lose virginity with their sisters??
>>
Lost my virginity at 12 going on 13 to a 15 y/o.

I mean I thought I was good then but now that I look back on it it wasn't a good idea
>>
>>734076830
>calls 20 point of no return.
>considers argument valid since i've lost it at 20.
nope. Was just actually waiting for someone I give a shit about.
>>
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24 but not getting any closer. I like this girl at work but I'm too scared to come off as a creep to try anything. I had people like me before but I'm completely blind to see social cues until someone tells me once it is too late.

So I'm better off believing nobody can like me. I plan on continuing my career and buying a not so cheap hooker once I'm 30 and have my own apartment.

Thoughts on partially clean hookers?
>>
welp, looks like you're going to have to try harder in the next life then. get it over with now and you'll have a quick headstart.
>>
Not a virgin but best friend is 25 and virgin, the guy's only problem is his confidence, just has no push, if you're at least average looking then all you need is confidence.
>>
>>734077043
If it felt good then that's fine.
Why would you change your mind retrospectively?!
Sex is just part of life, nothing sacred about it, but a few people miss it and they feel uncomplete and unable to recover later.
>>
>>734077390

OP here. Self confidence doesn't help when you spill spaghetti everywhere.
>>
>>734077733
While I'm no one to talk if you are confident about you awkwardness girls at least look forward to talk with you. Like "I just made that weird did I?", stuff like that helps a tiny bit.

Cyborgs are masters at this. But it stops there. I feel its not so much about confidence but more about reading the right social cues and knowing the right reactions. it all comes down to information at the end.
>>
I always see this thread and I have t wonder how are you OP? 25 m virgin here wishing you well :3
>>
>>734078094
>I feel its not so much about confidence but more about reading the right social cues and knowing the right reactions. it all comes down to information at the end.

Yeah, that's fucking hard.

>>734078219

I'm okay.
>>
>>734078614

It's honestly not that BAD of a thing. Plenty of people are 20+ 25+ and even 35+ virgins.

It's all in your head. I hope ill lose mine someday and feel like a weight is lifted. I'm sure you will too!

:D
>>
>>734078614
>Yeah, that's fucking hard.
Yeah, it doesn't work when you are socially blind to begin with. I even manage to creep out guys.
>>
>>734078741
30 yo kv here.
I don't feel virginity as much as an issue as not being able to romantically connect with girls. I fucking dream about being in love much more then sex... but I have no self esteem and I'm socially and emotionally retarded.
>>
>>734073651
Know any cool spells? I only know magic missile and sleep so far but I have only been a wizard for about half a year so far. it's going good though the council have me and another guy clearing "rats" from the local sewers. any tips for a lower wizard?

T. Karragor The Cruel.
>>
>>734079008

OP here. The wizard trope is boring as fuck.
>>
>>734073651
are you preparing for sex in anyway?
>>
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what do you think about this?
>>
If it's purely sex you seek I'd suggest just going to a hooker to be honest. If you can spare the cash that is.
>>
>>734078976
This.
>>
>>734079083

I'm widening my asshole every day.

>>734079114

That's plan B.

>>734079445

I'm poor as fuck atm. See above
>>
When was the last time you >>>>TRIED<<<< to talk to a girl?

Does it ever occur to you that there is some chance one girl out of hundreds will agree to have sex if you ask enough girls?
>>
>>734073651
dude, just go fuck a hooker.
>>
>>734079445
I'm unable to do so right now but will most likely be able on the future. I just hope I don't get obsessed with hookers since I might try to be intimate with them. I can see how the world would go around on how anon tried to cuddle with me leading to being banned from the local whore house.
>>
>>734079731
>Does it ever occur to you that there is some chance one girl out of hundreds will agree to have sex if you ask enough girls?
Absolutely zero chance my friendo
>>
>>734079731
>When was the last time you >>>>TRIED<<<< to talk to a girl?

A few days ago at the gym.

>Does it ever occur to you that there is some chance one girl out of hundreds will agree to have sex if you ask enough girls?

I've certainly talked to hundred of girls during the course of my life. So make that thousands or ten-thousands of girls.
>>
>>734078976
>>734073651
Same. I'm really picky. I've been doing online dating for about 2-3 months now and it's just awful. Every girl is the same and it's like awful kind of the same. Dogs, netflix, dad jokes, sarcasm, being a "foodie", loving and laughing, dear god give these girls some personality. If not that, they're either too stuck up to message or message back, to crazy (SJW/intersectional feminist type), or too lazy to put any effort in.
>>
>>734079850

Sure you talked to hundreds of girls, but in how many of those conversation did you clearly state "I wanna have sex with you"? Let me make a wild guess. ZERO.
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>>734076256
>Actually quite happy with my life
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>>734079731
That's pathetic and sex isn't the important thing.
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>>734076529
20 is nothing to worry about. Do yo thing ma nigga
>>
>>734079066
I agree, but still, says the guy who posted the wizard picture.
>>
>>734074795
Step 1: Get a job.

Before you make excuses, can't work, too lazy, too tired, no jobs, social anxiety, etc., remember that billions of people lived on this earth and it seems you're the only one who can't get a job.
>>
>>734080177

OP here. I am specifically referring to cases where I hit on girls in like a bar or a club. Or asked for numbers. Or dates. I didn't go "OI LETS FUKK" but my intentions should've been clear from the whole context.
>>
>>734076256
Well what are you going to do when you are my age, 48 and still a virgin like me.
Damn kids.
>>
When in doubt just go find judd apatow and he'll turn the whole thing into an hour n half story with hilarious consequences but everything will work out in the end

Or you know, plan b... hooker
>>
>>734080425
That's what you think. Until you grow enough balls to directly verbalize your intention without being so shy of sounding like "OI I WANNA FUCK YOU", you will remain a virgin.

The only way you will ever, legally, get laid with a real girl and not a prostitute and not have her file rape charges is to grow the courage to ask her to have sex with you and have her agree. Sounds simple, but it's not easy to do because you are really nervous and shy.
>>
Im 21 and a Virgin but I just haven't cared. I have had opportunity but I just decided to wait and I don't understand why waiting is looked down upon.
>>
>>734076256
I don't give a shit what any asexual broken brain anon says, sex is a base instinct that needs to be satisfied, otherwise you'll spend your life being constantly sexually frustrated while diving deeper and deeper into the hole of /d/-level porn.
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>>734080834

What would you suggest? To just randomly ask people for sex directly?
>>
>>734079731
>Does it ever occur to you that there is some chance one girl out of hundreds will agree to have sex if you ask enough girls?

That's a real crappy method.
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>>734080968
Why not? Introduce yourself. Start a conversation. Relate to the girl a little. and then BAM. state your intention as clear as possible. And then? get rejected. then get rejected again. then get rejected again. and keep pushing through the rejections until you find the girl that will let you in. There's quite a bit of learning involved, and quite bit of determination and hard work. Pushing past rejection is not easy at first. Your ego will be crushed.
>>
>>734080968
Couldnt hurt
>>
If you need to loose your virginity to feel proud, kys.
>>
>>734081263
>>734081311

Well, I'll try that.

And I've got rejected many times. Of the hundreds of girls I asked for numbers, asked out and stuff, I never got a positive response.
>>
>>734080413
I had a job for a couple of years, I thoght I was getting better, but then I realized people just don't want me around, especially outside work. I'm not likable, I put some effort in it in the past, but nothing works. Now I fail unterview because of social anxiety and my selfesteem is at its lowest. Hell, being a virgin is not even that important at this point
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>>734081383
If desperate just take a trip to amsterdam, the hookers are unbelievablely hot and the only phrase you need to say is 'fuck and suck'
Its kind of self explanatory
>>
>>734080968
Not the other guy, but you do need to explicitly ask or take action to make things happen. Your intention is irrelevant unless you act on it.

If you're at a bar and it's getting late and you've talked to a girl for an hour or two, you don't just... intend. You act.
>Hey this has been a lot of fun, want to head to this afterparty with me?
>You mentioned you like shitty B movies, I've got a copy of Swamp Thing, want to play B movie drinking games?
>Your dog sounds awesome, lets grab him and play fetch at the park until we get kicked out.

or, no shit

>Can I kiss you?

These aren't slick or anything, but you have to give her the opportunity to say yes.
You can succeed without such moves, but that's expert mode. Start easy.
>>
>>734081448
If you're not even getting numbers, then you're failing earlier than any of the advice given here. Can you have conversations with girls, or do they bail?

There's a PUA book called The Game by Neil Strauss. Hold your nose through the first half, it's misogynistic /b/ bullshit, but the methods work.
The main thrust of the book is that you have to practice conversations until they're easy. It's like any other skill, you have to practice until you don't suck.
>>
Have you ever attempted suicide? I have.
>>
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>>734080924
The whole /d/-level thing is alarmingly accurate. I was getting into weirder and weirder shit; then I finally lost it and it was like my head cleared. Maybe that's just me but it was a weird experience. Still have kinks and stuff, but nothing like the way I used to be...
>>
>>734081875
>If you're not even getting numbers, then you're failing earlier than any of the advice given here. Can you have conversations with girls, or do they bail?

I can't hold conversations with anyone, because I am dull and uncharismatic as fuck.
>>
>>734079850
23yo kv here, pretty handsome and very tall, builtfat, have gyno which sort of cripples my self confidence with these things. Here's the crazy thing: girls like me. Girls at work and school say hi to me in a flirty way and laugh at all my jokes. Im very outgoing and can mingle and be funny in any situation. I'm even "alpha" and often push dudes around verbally or like physically pick girls up when they hug me or whatever. There's more: several girls i would consider out of my league (like 7s or 8s) have declared interest in me and sent me nudes. All 3 have been long distance but genuinely hot and willing to sext with me endlessly and even have skype/phone sex. I tell them all the aggressive things id do to them and I'm confident i could do those things irl with any of these girls that im already comfortable with. One even visited me once and let me grab her ass and titties but was in public so couldn't go farther. I was really "alpha" about it and just grabbed her and she loved it.
Cont
>>
>>734081943
That's normal. When you're disconnected from any feedback, you can go any direction. Without direction, your brain craves novelty, and that means weird /d/ shit.
Good job kicking it.
>>
>>734073651

33 yo kissless virgin here. Hi, bro.
>>
>>734081974
What happens when you try?
>>
The golden rule for talking to girls is:

They want to be led, they want you to take charge of the coversation.

Sometimes you gotta stop and think, ok what would she want me to say right now? Because sometimes what she wants to hear and what you want to say are two different things.

It just takes a bit of self awareness.
>>
>>734082169

The conversations fiddle out after like five minutes and people start excusing themselves.
>>
>>734081995 cont
So yeah idk what my deal is. I went to college but lived at home all but 1 year. Smallish house, conservative parents, never brought a girl over. So id have to go to her place. Ive had girls throw themselves at me in their bedrooms once or twice and i didnt pull the trigger. But that's rare cuz i dont go out much besides gym. That one year i thought id get laid but it flew by and i really didnt even try. I just can't make the leap and "seal the deal." I dont know how and im afraid to seem like a creeper or a raper since im very strong. What's my problem? I guess i dont care that much idk. I dont trust girls.
>>
>>734081943
oh yeah, after lots of regular porn and fetishes I fell into cp .. I stayed clear for long, but I'm not totally out of it. Being a kissless virgin, that fucked up my sexuality completely.
I wish i had never discovered /b/ 11 yeears ago.
>>
>>734082272
>They want to be led, they want you to take charge of the coversation.
If only it was that easy...
>>
>>734082295
sounds awfully familiar
>>
>>734081943
>>734082037
>disconnected from any feedback

An apt phrase. Being a virgin in your late 20s and over usually means that you have to have failed a lot of social hurdles to not get laid.
>>
>>734081995
>>734082317
Last thing: both these girls i sext and all my bros genuinely believe Ive fucked tons of girls cuz of my high social skills and confidence. I need to make that a reality. Im currently working on getting ripped to fix my body image issues. 50 lbs down. I also am ashamed that i dont live alone and need to fix that but cant afford it. I made it to the final 4 interviewing for a $67k job but just missed it. Just got a slightly better retail sales job but im still in retail. I have a good degree from a good uni and feel lame for living at home. I think it'll come with time but its tough
>>
>>734082317
The problem is the guilt. You keep feeling so guilty of "oh my god I don't wanna be the creeper, i don't wanna hurt her, oh no..."

Let that shit go. Allow the guilt to go fuck itself. Allow yourself to be an asshole sometimes and mess shit up.
>>
>>734082295
Become a better listener. People love to talk about themselves. Ask questions.
People are really interesting. Everyone has something cool going on, and if you can really muster enthusiasm for finding out about people they'll think you're great.

The technical aspect isn't even hard.
>That's cool, then what happened?
>How'd that go? How'd that feel?
>Why'd you do X?
>That must have been really hard.
The trick is learning to actually be interested.

If you really need to talk about yourself, it helps a lot to have one interesting thing to talk about. Volunteer, get a cool hobby, anything; get one or two interesting stories, polish them until they shine, and use them until you get good.
>>
>>734082627
Nah i dont give a shit about her feelings i just dont wanna be embarrassed and look like a gross fool so i dont try

Thx tho, good perspective
>>
>>734073651
I can find you an e-grill that will talk to you if you want.

Contact Info:
Kik: MrBurner
>>
weill I'm 21 and thinking about getting over with it, paying a whore to let me fuck her
I have co workers that I could fuck, I know some are interested in me, but my dick is too small man
I can't risk them talking about my small dick everywhere, I live in a small town
no I don't mean meme small dick I mean actual small dick
it's 4 inch at best
>>
>>734073651
How do I get a gf?
>>
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I completely missed out on teenage love during my youth due to high levels of introversion. Currently studying engineering with two grills in class and very few fellow students to really hang out and have a bit of clean fun with. The situation couldn't be worse but I'm doing fine tbqh. Also, 23 y/o. I hope someone can relate.
>>
>>734082731
>>734082627
Also i have le cripplingly high standards. I have no interest in anyone who isnt hot and also nice/smart enough to be sorta waifu material. This may benefit me in the long run tho
>>
>>734082731
Go fail. Fail and fail and fail until failure is irrelevant.
Our monkey brains consider social censure to be the worst thing, but after you fail a few times you realize that... it doesn't matter. As long as you're dealing with strangers, failure costs you nothing.
>>
>>734082788
You don't anon. You are doomed to die as virgin, never knowing, what love is like.
>>
>>734082879
Im not dealing with strangers tho, i wanna fuck my cute gym friends or coworkers or former classmates, not sluts. I cant even begin to move on a girl unless i know her quite well and feel she likes me back
>>
>>734073651
>Anything you truly regret?
>If you were to travel back in time 10 years, what would you do differently?
>>
>>734082870
>I expect to succeed on the first try.
No way, man. Relationships take practice. You gotta date until you're not shitty at dating, only then can you be a useful enough human to waifu.

Don't look for a waifu. Look for a friend, a hookup, a kiss, someone to argue with about whatever esoteric crap you're into. Practice. Become good. Only then waifu.
>>
I am 21 years of age and I have fucked 25-ish girls
>shyaaaaaaahbebe
>>
>>734082879
But yeah agreed on failure. Learning that thru job apps. Gotta stick with it. Tbh im p happy just jacking off and dating a thot seems like a hastle. But I dont wanna miss banging my waifu
>>
>>734082731
>don't wanna be embarrassed

There's your second problem. It's called shame. It's making you wanna hide in a corner and die after you hurt a girl's feelings, even though you say you don't care about it. It's making you feel worthless and pathetic, and it's making you stop your attempt of ruining her day and her feelings.
>>
>>734082828
I was the same as teenager, but I also never had a social life in college. Now 29 kissless virgin.
Do something NOW, it's the perfect moment to change. If you wait too long it gets kinda hopeless
>>
>>734082676

I've mainly try to ask people questions because I don't like to talk about myself. But in my impression, people don't like being interviewed. People like a substantial contribution to the conversation.

>>734082757
>I can find you an e-grill

Like a fucking George Foreman?
>>
>>734083038
I agree but i also feel im already above average. My distance "gfs" all thought and said i was the most patient, supportive, and positive guy theyd met. So im confident I'm a good catch. I know i could translate it to irl
>>
>>734082998

Study something more useful. Invest more time in studies instead of drinking and hanging around.
>>
>>734083153
>>734082828
Listen to the man.

Don't try PUA shit, just find people to talk to and let it organically make it's way from there.
>>
>>734082990
Be real, you're not fucking anyone. You're not going to fuck anyone. You're not *trying* to fuck anyone.
You're trying to learn basic social skills. Practice basic social skills.

You're saying, "I want to run a marathon, not screw around with easy 10k runs." And I'm telling you that you need to walk around the room until you learn that falling on carpet doesn't matter.
>>
>>734083123
No i genuinely don't care. I care about keeping this cool guy image I've created other cool guys and girls. Pathetic i know
>>
>>734083153
>Now 29 kissless virgin.

Oh shit, I'm 28. What does the next year hold for me?
>>
>>734083040
Tiny dick virgin detected
>>
>>734083269
I dont think you've read me right. I have better social skills than almost anyone ive met. Im incredibly relaxed and articulate irl. Always lead conversations. Funny, many interests. I approach strangers and make them laugh. That's not my issue. Asking girls to touch my dick is
>>
>>734083354
Sluts cueing at the door and endless orgys, obviously.
>>
>>734083269
Like my friends are chad student athletes and they genuinely believe im king of pussy.
>>
>>734082998
>If you were to travel back in time 10 years, what would you do differently?

Either commit hard to my studies or thrown myself head first into the world of comic book weirdos before the mainstream diluted everything. Sometimes I even think joining up with furrys would have left me better social skills.
>>
>>734083269
^ this guy. Nail on the head, ever read the game? It says the exact same thing in there.
>>
>>734083269
But yeah i should just start with getting more numbers and casual dates ur right
>>
Last time you experienced an episode of flatulence?
>>
>>734083354
same shit if you don't change, what do you expect?
>>
i'm a manlet and a dicklet. there is no god
>>
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>>734073651
YOU! DON'T THINK YOUR HERETICAL STAFF WENT BEYOND THE NOTICE OF THE EMPEROR'S FINEST! GET THEE GONE, FOUL SERVANT OF CHAOS!
>>
>>734083533
Im not gonna read some autistic book on how to talk to people, i dont need it. Im literally the most gregarious person you could meet. I need to pass my fear of pulling the trigger.
>>
>>734083423

Sounds like your problem is excessive and unrealistc self-regard, probable narcissism, and so you're likely to set unreachable standards in potential female partners. I'm guessing you also over-analyze and have white knight tendencies.

Fortunately plenty of us are alpha enough to sustain numerous simultaneous relationships, so women don't have to resort to self-obsessed betas like your good self, m'lord.
>>
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>>734083630
WE MUST CLEANSE THIS THREAD! DENY THE WITCH!
>>
>>734083653
So why are you talking to us for? You know your problem, go fix it.
>>
>>734083260
I didn't manage to make many new friends. I'd otherwise start from there and naturally get to know their female acquantances. But yeah, it is how it is and I don't have any idea on how to drastically change the circumstances.
>>
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>>734083719
Serve the Emperor today. Tomorrow, you may be dead.
>>
>>734083740
God warhammer is shit
>>
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>>734083740
Better to be crippled in body than corrupt in mind.
>>
>>734083705
Nice bait, Casanova. But yeah I'm for sure narcissistic. Ive improved a fair bit, but not all the way. Ive just glimpsed the tier of girls i could get and dont wanna wanna settle for less out of desperation or convenience
>>
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>>734083795
It is. Thankfully, this is 40k. You are truly a wise subject of the Imperium of Man.
>>
>>734073651
>Have you tried dating websites or anything similar?
>>
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>>734083825
Hope is the first step on the road to disappointment.
>>
>>734083730
Because ive never discussed this with anyone and its cathartic. Also reflection helps me focus. So thx all
>>
>>734083210
Yeah, you do need to reciprocate enough that it's not weird.
>Yeah, I did that same thing one time and it was [awesome/terrible/almost fatal]. The guy I did it with was cool though, I wonder what happened to him.
>I've always wanted to try that. I saw them do it in James Bond Never Say Die and it seemed super cool. How did you learn, anyway?

>>734083233
Then I repeat my advice, but apply the "in person" modifier.
If you can be patient, supportive, and positive to a flock of women IRL that you don't want to marry or fuck, then you're guaranteed to win because eventually you'll meet their friends and one of them will be awesome and it'll be easy since her friends will already like you.
If you don't have a bunch of platonic female friends, then practice.
(Also you're missing something about your own motivations because no one stays kissless because they're not willing to get married.)
>>
>>734083705
Kissless virgin detected
>>
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>>734083875
The Emperor protects the righteous.
>>
>>734083624
That is proof there is a god. He's just a bastard.
>>
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>>734083900
There is no such thing as innocence, only degrees of guilt.
>>
>>734083819
You gotta start somewhere. The grill of your dreams won't come along anyway.
>>
GO FUCK A HOOKER

IF YOU SAY NO TO THIS, GO DIE IN A FIRE
>>
>>734083423
>Asking girls to touch my dick is

There's so much male shaming in our society. They keep us men down. They don't allow us to fully express our desire of wanting to fuck all these females without being shames and harassed. Rise above that bro. Don't let the standards and the media cripple you more into this obscure virginity failure of a life. Don't let your mom and your auntie and that bitch on TV and movie tell you it's not okay to ask for sex.
>>
>>734083908
how?
>>
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>>734083928
The path to virtue is difficult, made smoother for others through our sacrifice.
>>
>>734083882
Yeah lol agreed on kissless.
Good advice tho. I gotta go out more and get exposure. Also ur right about the platonic females.
>>
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>>734083990
Only in death does duty end.
>>
>>734083881
Welcome.

Same advice though. If you're afraid of failing in front of your friends, then go be gregarious to strangers and practice pulling the trigger on them.

Sounds like you've got a plan though, so good luck. Report back.
>>
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>>734084028
A moment of laxity spawns a lifetime of heresy.
>>
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>>734084055
While the enemies of the Emperor still walk there can be no peace.
>>
God damn it! I am so sick of FAGGOTS coming on here and ignoring all the fucking advice everyone gives them! We can't cure your problems with a magic fucking wand.

SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU PATHETIC ASSHAT OP!
>>
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>>734084088
An open mind is like a fortress with it's gates unbarred and unguarded.
>>
>>734083960
BUT IM NOT 10/10 AND RICH SO I DONT DESERVE LOVE

How did the jew get so far in my head

I do genuinely think I'll be hot and rich in 5-10 years so i guess im waiting till i "deserve" it?
>>
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>>734084124
The Emperor's wrath fall upon those who would aid the mutant, the xeno, the heretic.
>>
>>734084106

Whats your problem bro?
>>
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>>734084185
The Emperor guides us along the path to salvation. To stray is death.
>>
>>734084134
Lmfao jesus christ...

Good luck with that.
>>
>>734082317

Elephant in the room brah: You Gay
>>
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>>734084226
There is never a moment to rest. The foes of man must be slain in their multitudes, so sayeth the Emperor.
>>
>>734084030
Yeah honestly with no one around its freeing. Although ive also noticed i pick up more girls in front of my best "Boiz" cuz i treat it like a funny stunt haha guys watch me work my magic etc
>>
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>>734084283
Death comes for the weak and the betrayer.
>>
>>734083998
Yar. It's called exposure therapy.
You can try telling yourself, "I'm not gonna get with this girl no matter how much she likes me."
It'll take the nerves off some, and if you can commit then they can tell you're not hitting on them and it helps them relax.

Smaller goals, more practice, smaller goals, more practice.

When I started out, my goal was one prefab question, then a prefab goodbye. Worked my way up from there.
>>
>>734084106
>>734083569
But here's the thing, say we do at least change our physique so we at least LOOK like non-autists, like how do you learn the rhythm and movements for flirting, kissing, intimacy and sex without coming across as someone who's clearly 10-15 years behind?
>>
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>>734084343
The Emperor gives us all we need. To demand more is to fail your fellow man.
>>
Why haven't you raped the hottest current high school girl yet?

And if you do, can you go live for us?
>>
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>>734084409
Heresy is the end of all that is good, and right. Suffer the Emperor's wrath should you fall.
>>
>>734084286
Oh god that sounds horrific
>>
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>>734084453
Administer the Emperor's peace to your fallen comrades, whether they are stricken in mind or body.
>>
>>734084264
"""""""Rich""""""" as in above average middle class. I have the education and people skills for business success. And I think i be genuinely hot. I have the mass to deadlift almost 700lbs (inb4 prove it) and have cut 50 lbs already. Still fat tho. Also handsome genetics thank God.

Posting this for the chance my best friend reads it and realizes im a fraud and helps me lmao
>>
>>734084438
Another kissliss virgin enters
>>
I am 25 years old and lost my virginity at 18. Then over the last years I had 4 other girlfriends that ended in pure disasters, emotionally that is. Sure I had kisses and sex, but what is it worth, I'm now just your average depressed heroin addict. I don't know my place in life and one I get bored of heroin I will kms.
>>
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>>734084514
The Emperor watches us all. Will you be spared before the Golden Throne?
>>
>>734084286
You're lucky that the thing you fear is so far along in the process. Once you get used to asking or suggesting, you'll be good to go.

I'm still pretty uncomfortable asking for anything sexual too. Total internalized male-sexuality-is-bad.
Like, had a girl tell me "I'll do anything you ask me to," and I was all, "Eehhhh, I'll just spank you."
Ugh. Practice though. I'll see her tomorrow. In honor of you I'll man the fuck up and request something.
What should I request bois? (No sex, but anything else should be fine.)
>>
>>734084561
Pls dont

Find something u want to create
>>
>>734084528
It sounds like you need to be able to deadlift 700 just to support that massive head of yours.
>>
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>>734084601
Heresy cannot be allowed to spread. Friend or family, the witch and liar alike must be culled.
>>
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>>734083819

Yeh, you also yak too much - you coulda just said "You're right, I must change".

Oh well, more cooch for the rest of us

>>734083819
>>734083895
pic very related
>>
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>>734084678
There is no peace. In the grim darkness of the far future, there is only war.
>>
>>734084606
In honor of YOU i will ask out the cutest girl at work before i change jobs.

Request she sit on ur lap and let u feel her up
>>
Been kissed a few times & fooled around but a virgin girl so idk
>>
>>734084561
Damn son. I've had some pretty fucked up breakups, but they must've been really something if it drove you to heroin.

It can get better though. I was pretty touchy after my last breakup and my current girl is pretty patient and we worked out a lot of the fear.
>>
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>>734084735
The blood of martyrs is the seed of the Imperium.
>>
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>>734084106

So.
Much.
THIS.
>>
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>>734084591
>2 celebrities
Why not count your grandma while your at it?
>>
>>734073651
>>734074193

>Wake up, run, work, gym

Run and gym? what's ur BMI.

How handsome are you, on a scale from 1 - 10. Be honest
>>
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>>734084792
Only through action do we cease the tide of heresy, only through will do we end the great enemy of man.
>>
>>734084800
A rape planned?
>>
>>734084812
>>734084106
>asshat
what a reddit insult, also samefagging
>>
>>734073651

I'm 49 and virgin and will turn 50 next January.

Sometime after 30 one stops being obsessed about losing virginity.
>>
I'm a 22 year old virgin who has kissed and hugged many women, received handjobs and footjobs some in public because of the risk factor. Got a shitty blowjob when I had a semi, where do I rank here??....

6'3 athletic but choosing to behave like a neet cos much depression
>>
>>734084842
Yeah but I didn't do it cause I fucked a chick... I didn't write it down just thought about it in my head...
>>
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>>734084841
Hate is my sword, contempt is my armor. With these I shall banish the foes of the Emperor.
>>
>>734084701
That wasn't my reply but ok. Im not sorry for being confident in the future
>>
>>734084928
LMFAO

Oh yeah cos otherwise you would have totally done it. Fuck off you idiot
>>
>>734084840

My BMI is 23.

I'm average looking, 5/10.
>>
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>>734084933
Repent your heresy. Thy master's punishment is deserved, and you will be greatful, as it betters your service to the Emperor.
>>
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>>734084997
We serve gladly; to do otherwise would be to fail mankind.
>>
Pussy is overrated. I'm married to a 9/10 half my age and seriously I can't be fucked most of the time.
>>
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>>734085048
We give our lives in service, for the Emperor gave his to us.
>>
>>734084870
>what a reddit insult, also samefagging

Fuck you asshat.
That was the only fucking thing I have posted on this thread other than this.
GOD DAMN LISTEN TO THE FUCKING ADVICE HERE.
>>
>>734084357
Thx mayne, and great job
>>
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>>734085087
Our watch is never ending. As he guides us from the Golden Throne, we guard the immortal Emperor.
>>
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>>734084870

>actually shitty /b/ maymay from before le reddit even existed

>pic also related

Do you fail at *everything* anon? Have you considered becoming anhero?
>>
>>734085064
you take it for granted. Pussy is like oxygen. You only notice how important it is when you don't get it.
>>
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>>734085185
For every one of us who falls, ten more shall take his place!
>>
>>734084765
It's on. Tomorrow will be wiggly lap time.

1. Have something specific and kinda cool in mind.
>Hey, I'm going kayaking in the next couple weeks, want to come?
>This Barcade has a cool trivia night wednesdays, do you know anything about [thing she knows things about]?

2. Have a close in mind. I've never had "May I kiss you?" fail, actually.
>>
>>734073651
I'm 6'5, fairly handsome and get laid fairly often.
However, i am also depressed.

Trust me, though it might be seen as an achievement or whatever to get laid, it's not like getting laid determines the quality of your life.
If you're not getting laid... fuck it! Make up for it by thriving in other aspects of your life.
>>
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>>734085271
The Emperor's finest stand ever ready for duty.
>>
>>734085208
I have considered it
>>
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>>734085306
We are the Emperor's will made manifest!
>>
>>734085278
i want more than sex. I want a solid relationship with another person I want to carry on my family line.
>>
>>734073651
How old are you? Are you a virgin?
>>
>>734085365
Stand firm against heretic and xeno alike!
>>
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>>734085441
His will guides us to glory and victory over all foes!
>>
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>>734085504
Purity of purpose is movement without hesitation.
>>
>>734085402
Then make a plan. Make and effort to meet someone, dont rely on coincidence or luck. Sign up for a dating site, or pottery class or whatever the fuck you feel like where you can meet likeminded women.
That would be my advice anyways.
>>
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>>734085550
Only as His servants will we survive!
>>
>>734085152
My pleasure. I was once a great faggot, and now I do pretty well for myself when I'm not depressed. Got a waifu who even puts up with my depressed bullshit until I pull out of it a month or two later.

Everyone thinks that being a human should be easy, but that shit is a skill like anything else.
No one is born with confidence, or a sense of humor, or the ability to read a person, or tell a story. It's all skills, and skills need practice. Take classes, consult masters, practice, practice, practice.
>>
>>734085278
i agree that it's not going to improve the quality of your life. But it's a damn good feeling to know you are no longer a virgin. And speaking from experience, even though my first fuck was so horrendously bad and I didn't even finish, I still jerk off to it to this day.

I would say being depressed is a problem, and being virgin is a separate problem. You solved the second, not the first. People say it's okay to be a virgin, but after some age it really isn't. It sucks to be a virgin and constantly jealous of all these couples holding hands and kissing and fucking all the time. It hurts, and only the virgins feel the pain. Not you who is getting laid fairy often.
>>
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>>734085608
Emperor be with you, brothers.
>>
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>>734085685
We are His loyal subjects. We give our lives willingly.
>>
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>>734085744
Our might is greatest as servants of the Emperor.
>>
>>734085598
yeah, no. I'm a manlet with a face like this I only have like a .000001% of anyone considering me at all
>>
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>>734085322

Well stop that shit - it's cowardly and selfish. FFS, goddamn faggots.
>>
>>734085272
If there's one thing i know nigga, its never ask permission. Just lean in. U got it. Rest sounds great. Also +1000 if u ask her to wear a crop top
>>
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>>734085833
I leave you now. The taint of heresy is cleansed from this thread. Remain vigilant, and DO. NOT. DISAPPOINT ME.
>>
>>734085627
I too want to /selfimprovement/
>>
>>734085851
Shine that personality. I know some pretty funky looking people that are popular because they're interesting and funny.

Even if you suck, I know a dude who is... 5'4" maybe? And stupid as hell.
He married a female friend of mine. She's ugly, but they're about right for each other.
Both 2/10, but they're happy. It happens.
>>
>>734085851
With that attitude youre chances are low yes, but looks arent everything dude. Honestly. I have friends who are ugly as fuck, who still have girlfriends who are really cute.
>>
>>734074028
non whites
>>
>>734073651
Thanks OP, this made my day. Glad to hear you're still a faggot.
>>
>>734085925
Will do. I'd say good luck, but you don't need it. You've got a plan, and plans are better than luck.

>>734086035
One step every day. One sentence. One rejection. Ever closer. There is no want, there is only do.
>>
>>734085925
Depends sometimes you can go in being all michael cera and some chicks dig it, depends what youve got to work with.

But yeah most of the time just go for it
>>
>>734086041
>>734086084
thanks anons.
>>
21 here and virgin. I'm either weird or repressed because I have sexual urges, but don't want to have sex. I do want a girlfriend and all of the stupid lovey dovey crap. So yeah, friends have suggested seeing a shrink or something.
>>
>>734086210
OORAH I JUST GOTTA TREAT EVERYTHING IN LIFE LIKE LIFTING

yeah do ur thing man
>>734086440
This is a good thread
>>
>>734086579
You do want sex, everyone does. Youre just scared of the unknown at the moment.

Dont put the pussy on a pedestal
>>
>Be me
>18
>Meet highschool chick, chat her up
>She wants it
>Try to fuck her
>Whiskeydick
>mfw kind of satisfied her with foreplay, couldn't satisfy myself
>Said goodbye

Am i still virgin.jpg?
>>
>>734086780
I've been told the same by friends and such, so you're probably right. I wouldn't say it's on a pedestal though, I want nothing to do with it, not the most attractive thing i've ever seen. Some are okay but still, eh. Even though i'm not interested in pussy, i'd rather that than anything to do with my business.

Hmm, anonymity really is freeing I suppose.
>>
>>734086041
>>734086084
>implying she wouldn't leave me for big dick tyrone/Chad
>>
>>734073651
why do you define your self-worth according to your virgin status?
>>
>>734087021
Not OP but likely because of movies and tv and all that society stuff. That and highschool guys that were probably lying about how much they were doing it. Granted some weren't, and good for them, but yeah. At some point, someone has treated us differently or negatively because we're virgins.
>>
>>734086902
By pussy i dont mean specific chicks, i just mean the act of sex in general. Its an act thats there to be enjoyed, but also one that you can only learn by doing. Sounds like youre just scared of fucking it up. The quicker you get your first experience out of the way the quicker you realise its that big of a big deal
>>
>>734073651
Nobody worth speaking to CARES if you have sex or not. The only people who would criticize you for being a virgin are the ones who are secretly insecure and miserable in some way or another.
>>
23 kv here
seeing other people in happy relationships makes me sad.
>>
>>734087153
I mean I am, but I don't think it's the act of sex, and more someone wanting to have sex with you. Like, I could go to prostitutes or whatever, and I wouldn't be a virgin. But that doesn't count to me, and if I resorted to that, i'd probably go hang myself after that.
>>
>>734087021
>>734087198

OP here. I don't care what people think. It's just that I want some kind of physical or psychological affection.
>>
>>734087355
It's majorly overrated. Trust me.
>>
>>734087471

I'd like to evaluate that myself.
>>
>>734087315
You just gotta keep an open mind with this shit. Ive had about 3 decent gfs before finding someone who legit feels close. But if it fucks up you just gotta think, ah well fuck it, onto the next one.

Cant afford to waste time moping around.
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