24 but not getting any closer. I like this girl at work but I'm too scared to come off as a creep to try anything. I had people like me before but I'm completely blind to see social cues until someone tells me once it is too late.
So I'm better off believing nobody can like me. I plan on continuing my career and buying a not so cheap hooker once I'm 30 and have my own apartment.
>>734077043 If it felt good then that's fine. Why would you change your mind retrospectively?! Sex is just part of life, nothing sacred about it, but a few people miss it and they feel uncomplete and unable to recover later.
>>734077733 While I'm no one to talk if you are confident about you awkwardness girls at least look forward to talk with you. Like "I just made that weird did I?", stuff like that helps a tiny bit.
Cyborgs are masters at this. But it stops there. I feel its not so much about confidence but more about reading the right social cues and knowing the right reactions. it all comes down to information at the end.
>>734078741 30 yo kv here. I don't feel virginity as much as an issue as not being able to romantically connect with girls. I fucking dream about being in love much more then sex... but I have no self esteem and I'm socially and emotionally retarded.
>>734073651 Know any cool spells? I only know magic missile and sleep so far but I have only been a wizard for about half a year so far. it's going good though the council have me and another guy clearing "rats" from the local sewers. any tips for a lower wizard?
>>734079445 I'm unable to do so right now but will most likely be able on the future. I just hope I don't get obsessed with hookers since I might try to be intimate with them. I can see how the world would go around on how anon tried to cuddle with me leading to being banned from the local whore house.
>>734078976 >>734073651 Same. I'm really picky. I've been doing online dating for about 2-3 months now and it's just awful. Every girl is the same and it's like awful kind of the same. Dogs, netflix, dad jokes, sarcasm, being a "foodie", loving and laughing, dear god give these girls some personality. If not that, they're either too stuck up to message or message back, to crazy (SJW/intersectional feminist type), or too lazy to put any effort in.
OP here. I am specifically referring to cases where I hit on girls in like a bar or a club. Or asked for numbers. Or dates. I didn't go "OI LETS FUKK" but my intentions should've been clear from the whole context.
>>734080425 That's what you think. Until you grow enough balls to directly verbalize your intention without being so shy of sounding like "OI I WANNA FUCK YOU", you will remain a virgin.
The only way you will ever, legally, get laid with a real girl and not a prostitute and not have her file rape charges is to grow the courage to ask her to have sex with you and have her agree. Sounds simple, but it's not easy to do because you are really nervous and shy.
>>734076256 I don't give a shit what any asexual broken brain anon says, sex is a base instinct that needs to be satisfied, otherwise you'll spend your life being constantly sexually frustrated while diving deeper and deeper into the hole of /d/-level porn.
>>734080968 Why not? Introduce yourself. Start a conversation. Relate to the girl a little. and then BAM. state your intention as clear as possible. And then? get rejected. then get rejected again. then get rejected again. and keep pushing through the rejections until you find the girl that will let you in. There's quite a bit of learning involved, and quite bit of determination and hard work. Pushing past rejection is not easy at first. Your ego will be crushed.
>>734080413 I had a job for a couple of years, I thoght I was getting better, but then I realized people just don't want me around, especially outside work. I'm not likable, I put some effort in it in the past, but nothing works. Now I fail unterview because of social anxiety and my selfesteem is at its lowest. Hell, being a virgin is not even that important at this point
>>734080968 Not the other guy, but you do need to explicitly ask or take action to make things happen. Your intention is irrelevant unless you act on it.
If you're at a bar and it's getting late and you've talked to a girl for an hour or two, you don't just... intend. You act. >Hey this has been a lot of fun, want to head to this afterparty with me? >You mentioned you like shitty B movies, I've got a copy of Swamp Thing, want to play B movie drinking games? >Your dog sounds awesome, lets grab him and play fetch at the park until we get kicked out.
or, no shit
>Can I kiss you?
These aren't slick or anything, but you have to give her the opportunity to say yes. You can succeed without such moves, but that's expert mode. Start easy.
>>734081448 If you're not even getting numbers, then you're failing earlier than any of the advice given here. Can you have conversations with girls, or do they bail?
There's a PUA book called The Game by Neil Strauss. Hold your nose through the first half, it's misogynistic /b/ bullshit, but the methods work. The main thrust of the book is that you have to practice conversations until they're easy. It's like any other skill, you have to practice until you don't suck.
>>734080924 The whole /d/-level thing is alarmingly accurate. I was getting into weirder and weirder shit; then I finally lost it and it was like my head cleared. Maybe that's just me but it was a weird experience. Still have kinks and stuff, but nothing like the way I used to be...
>>734079850 23yo kv here, pretty handsome and very tall, builtfat, have gyno which sort of cripples my self confidence with these things. Here's the crazy thing: girls like me. Girls at work and school say hi to me in a flirty way and laugh at all my jokes. Im very outgoing and can mingle and be funny in any situation. I'm even "alpha" and often push dudes around verbally or like physically pick girls up when they hug me or whatever. There's more: several girls i would consider out of my league (like 7s or 8s) have declared interest in me and sent me nudes. All 3 have been long distance but genuinely hot and willing to sext with me endlessly and even have skype/phone sex. I tell them all the aggressive things id do to them and I'm confident i could do those things irl with any of these girls that im already comfortable with. One even visited me once and let me grab her ass and titties but was in public so couldn't go farther. I was really "alpha" about it and just grabbed her and she loved it. Cont
>>734081995 cont So yeah idk what my deal is. I went to college but lived at home all but 1 year. Smallish house, conservative parents, never brought a girl over. So id have to go to her place. Ive had girls throw themselves at me in their bedrooms once or twice and i didnt pull the trigger. But that's rare cuz i dont go out much besides gym. That one year i thought id get laid but it flew by and i really didnt even try. I just can't make the leap and "seal the deal." I dont know how and im afraid to seem like a creeper or a raper since im very strong. What's my problem? I guess i dont care that much idk. I dont trust girls.
>>734081943 oh yeah, after lots of regular porn and fetishes I fell into cp .. I stayed clear for long, but I'm not totally out of it. Being a kissless virgin, that fucked up my sexuality completely. I wish i had never discovered /b/ 11 yeears ago.
>>734081995 >>734082317 Last thing: both these girls i sext and all my bros genuinely believe Ive fucked tons of girls cuz of my high social skills and confidence. I need to make that a reality. Im currently working on getting ripped to fix my body image issues. 50 lbs down. I also am ashamed that i dont live alone and need to fix that but cant afford it. I made it to the final 4 interviewing for a $67k job but just missed it. Just got a slightly better retail sales job but im still in retail. I have a good degree from a good uni and feel lame for living at home. I think it'll come with time but its tough
>>734082295 Become a better listener. People love to talk about themselves. Ask questions. People are really interesting. Everyone has something cool going on, and if you can really muster enthusiasm for finding out about people they'll think you're great.
The technical aspect isn't even hard. >That's cool, then what happened? >How'd that go? How'd that feel? >Why'd you do X? >That must have been really hard. The trick is learning to actually be interested.
If you really need to talk about yourself, it helps a lot to have one interesting thing to talk about. Volunteer, get a cool hobby, anything; get one or two interesting stories, polish them until they shine, and use them until you get good.
weill I'm 21 and thinking about getting over with it, paying a whore to let me fuck her I have co workers that I could fuck, I know some are interested in me, but my dick is too small man I can't risk them talking about my small dick everywhere, I live in a small town no I don't mean meme small dick I mean actual small dick it's 4 inch at best
I completely missed out on teenage love during my youth due to high levels of introversion. Currently studying engineering with two grills in class and very few fellow students to really hang out and have a bit of clean fun with. The situation couldn't be worse but I'm doing fine tbqh. Also, 23 y/o. I hope someone can relate.
>>734082731 >>734082627 Also i have le cripplingly high standards. I have no interest in anyone who isnt hot and also nice/smart enough to be sorta waifu material. This may benefit me in the long run tho
>>734082731 Go fail. Fail and fail and fail until failure is irrelevant. Our monkey brains consider social censure to be the worst thing, but after you fail a few times you realize that... it doesn't matter. As long as you're dealing with strangers, failure costs you nothing.
>>734082879 Im not dealing with strangers tho, i wanna fuck my cute gym friends or coworkers or former classmates, not sluts. I cant even begin to move on a girl unless i know her quite well and feel she likes me back
There's your second problem. It's called shame. It's making you wanna hide in a corner and die after you hurt a girl's feelings, even though you say you don't care about it. It's making you feel worthless and pathetic, and it's making you stop your attempt of ruining her day and her feelings.
>>734082828 I was the same as teenager, but I also never had a social life in college. Now 29 kissless virgin. Do something NOW, it's the perfect moment to change. If you wait too long it gets kinda hopeless
I've mainly try to ask people questions because I don't like to talk about myself. But in my impression, people don't like being interviewed. People like a substantial contribution to the conversation.
>>734083038 I agree but i also feel im already above average. My distance "gfs" all thought and said i was the most patient, supportive, and positive guy theyd met. So im confident I'm a good catch. I know i could translate it to irl
>>734083269 I dont think you've read me right. I have better social skills than almost anyone ive met. Im incredibly relaxed and articulate irl. Always lead conversations. Funny, many interests. I approach strangers and make them laugh. That's not my issue. Asking girls to touch my dick is
>>734082998 >If you were to travel back in time 10 years, what would you do differently?
Either commit hard to my studies or thrown myself head first into the world of comic book weirdos before the mainstream diluted everything. Sometimes I even think joining up with furrys would have left me better social skills.
Sounds like your problem is excessive and unrealistc self-regard, probable narcissism, and so you're likely to set unreachable standards in potential female partners. I'm guessing you also over-analyze and have white knight tendencies.
Fortunately plenty of us are alpha enough to sustain numerous simultaneous relationships, so women don't have to resort to self-obsessed betas like your good self, m'lord.
>>734083260 I didn't manage to make many new friends. I'd otherwise start from there and naturally get to know their female acquantances. But yeah, it is how it is and I don't have any idea on how to drastically change the circumstances.
>>734083705 Nice bait, Casanova. But yeah I'm for sure narcissistic. Ive improved a fair bit, but not all the way. Ive just glimpsed the tier of girls i could get and dont wanna wanna settle for less out of desperation or convenience
>>734083210 Yeah, you do need to reciprocate enough that it's not weird. >Yeah, I did that same thing one time and it was [awesome/terrible/almost fatal]. The guy I did it with was cool though, I wonder what happened to him. >I've always wanted to try that. I saw them do it in James Bond Never Say Die and it seemed super cool. How did you learn, anyway?
>>734083233 Then I repeat my advice, but apply the "in person" modifier. If you can be patient, supportive, and positive to a flock of women IRL that you don't want to marry or fuck, then you're guaranteed to win because eventually you'll meet their friends and one of them will be awesome and it'll be easy since her friends will already like you. If you don't have a bunch of platonic female friends, then practice. (Also you're missing something about your own motivations because no one stays kissless because they're not willing to get married.)
There's so much male shaming in our society. They keep us men down. They don't allow us to fully express our desire of wanting to fuck all these females without being shames and harassed. Rise above that bro. Don't let the standards and the media cripple you more into this obscure virginity failure of a life. Don't let your mom and your auntie and that bitch on TV and movie tell you it's not okay to ask for sex.
>>734084030 Yeah honestly with no one around its freeing. Although ive also noticed i pick up more girls in front of my best "Boiz" cuz i treat it like a funny stunt haha guys watch me work my magic etc
>>734083998 Yar. It's called exposure therapy. You can try telling yourself, "I'm not gonna get with this girl no matter how much she likes me." It'll take the nerves off some, and if you can commit then they can tell you're not hitting on them and it helps them relax.
Smaller goals, more practice, smaller goals, more practice.
When I started out, my goal was one prefab question, then a prefab goodbye. Worked my way up from there.
>>734084106 >>734083569 But here's the thing, say we do at least change our physique so we at least LOOK like non-autists, like how do you learn the rhythm and movements for flirting, kissing, intimacy and sex without coming across as someone who's clearly 10-15 years behind?
>>734084264 """""""Rich""""""" as in above average middle class. I have the education and people skills for business success. And I think i be genuinely hot. I have the mass to deadlift almost 700lbs (inb4 prove it) and have cut 50 lbs already. Still fat tho. Also handsome genetics thank God.
Posting this for the chance my best friend reads it and realizes im a fraud and helps me lmao
I am 25 years old and lost my virginity at 18. Then over the last years I had 4 other girlfriends that ended in pure disasters, emotionally that is. Sure I had kisses and sex, but what is it worth, I'm now just your average depressed heroin addict. I don't know my place in life and one I get bored of heroin I will kms.
>>734084286 You're lucky that the thing you fear is so far along in the process. Once you get used to asking or suggesting, you'll be good to go.
I'm still pretty uncomfortable asking for anything sexual too. Total internalized male-sexuality-is-bad. Like, had a girl tell me "I'll do anything you ask me to," and I was all, "Eehhhh, I'll just spank you." Ugh. Practice though. I'll see her tomorrow. In honor of you I'll man the fuck up and request something. What should I request bois? (No sex, but anything else should be fine.)
I'm a 22 year old virgin who has kissed and hugged many women, received handjobs and footjobs some in public because of the risk factor. Got a shitty blowjob when I had a semi, where do I rank here??....
6'3 athletic but choosing to behave like a neet cos much depression
1. Have something specific and kinda cool in mind. >Hey, I'm going kayaking in the next couple weeks, want to come? >This Barcade has a cool trivia night wednesdays, do you know anything about [thing she knows things about]?
2. Have a close in mind. I've never had "May I kiss you?" fail, actually.
>>734073651 I'm 6'5, fairly handsome and get laid fairly often. However, i am also depressed.
Trust me, though it might be seen as an achievement or whatever to get laid, it's not like getting laid determines the quality of your life. If you're not getting laid... fuck it! Make up for it by thriving in other aspects of your life.
>>734085402 Then make a plan. Make and effort to meet someone, dont rely on coincidence or luck. Sign up for a dating site, or pottery class or whatever the fuck you feel like where you can meet likeminded women. That would be my advice anyways.
>>734085152 My pleasure. I was once a great faggot, and now I do pretty well for myself when I'm not depressed. Got a waifu who even puts up with my depressed bullshit until I pull out of it a month or two later.
Everyone thinks that being a human should be easy, but that shit is a skill like anything else. No one is born with confidence, or a sense of humor, or the ability to read a person, or tell a story. It's all skills, and skills need practice. Take classes, consult masters, practice, practice, practice.
>>734085278 i agree that it's not going to improve the quality of your life. But it's a damn good feeling to know you are no longer a virgin. And speaking from experience, even though my first fuck was so horrendously bad and I didn't even finish, I still jerk off to it to this day.
I would say being depressed is a problem, and being virgin is a separate problem. You solved the second, not the first. People say it's okay to be a virgin, but after some age it really isn't. It sucks to be a virgin and constantly jealous of all these couples holding hands and kissing and fucking all the time. It hurts, and only the virgins feel the pain. Not you who is getting laid fairy often.
>>734085851 Shine that personality. I know some pretty funky looking people that are popular because they're interesting and funny.
Even if you suck, I know a dude who is... 5'4" maybe? And stupid as hell. He married a female friend of mine. She's ugly, but they're about right for each other. Both 2/10, but they're happy. It happens.
21 here and virgin. I'm either weird or repressed because I have sexual urges, but don't want to have sex. I do want a girlfriend and all of the stupid lovey dovey crap. So yeah, friends have suggested seeing a shrink or something.
>>734086780 I've been told the same by friends and such, so you're probably right. I wouldn't say it's on a pedestal though, I want nothing to do with it, not the most attractive thing i've ever seen. Some are okay but still, eh. Even though i'm not interested in pussy, i'd rather that than anything to do with my business.
>>734087021 Not OP but likely because of movies and tv and all that society stuff. That and highschool guys that were probably lying about how much they were doing it. Granted some weren't, and good for them, but yeah. At some point, someone has treated us differently or negatively because we're virgins.
>>734086902 By pussy i dont mean specific chicks, i just mean the act of sex in general. Its an act thats there to be enjoyed, but also one that you can only learn by doing. Sounds like youre just scared of fucking it up. The quicker you get your first experience out of the way the quicker you realise its that big of a big deal
>>734073651 Nobody worth speaking to CARES if you have sex or not. The only people who would criticize you for being a virgin are the ones who are secretly insecure and miserable in some way or another.
>>734087153 I mean I am, but I don't think it's the act of sex, and more someone wanting to have sex with you. Like, I could go to prostitutes or whatever, and I wouldn't be a virgin. But that doesn't count to me, and if I resorted to that, i'd probably go hang myself after that.
>>734087315 You just gotta keep an open mind with this shit. Ive had about 3 decent gfs before finding someone who legit feels close. But if it fucks up you just gotta think, ah well fuck it, onto the next one.
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