>Get asked by neighbour feed their cats for a couple of days
>ok no problem
>in their house
>be me, huge pervert
>decide to sniff neighbour's mom's panties
>sneak into room, going through drawers
>find large dildo, jackpot
>start to lick the dildo like it was a crack lollipop
>go home and fap furiously
>MFW when I think I put the dildo in the wrong drawer
>MFW I forgot which drawer it was in
>MFW they get back in a few hours
Do like Hillary and blame it on the Russians
Fuck yourself with said dildo when they return. Make sure they see you.
It's not a big deal when they find out. If you're lucky, it will be just her that finds out and she won't tell whoever lives with her.
However, you should apologize, just make sure to do it discreetly and directly to her.
Would be hilarious if you find out it's actually the guy living with her that owns and uses the dildo
>niggest puts dildo in his mouth
miss me with that gay shitt nigguh fuck out of here fuck boy
You read it autistically, probably because your autistic brain told you to do so.
I merely ment "I apologize for rummaging through your personal belongings". If she knows you did it, then she is due an apology. She may even be happy that you took interest in her dildo.
Here is the picture I took, for those saying it's not real
>don't mind me
>just the nsa passing by.
>I promise i wont store your dick pics on my hard drive. no homo.
my sincere advice OP?
say you couldn't find the cat, panicked and started looking through all the drawers. Laugh a but to ease the tension. You then saw the dildo and was possessed by the devil. If she doesn't believe you pretend to be possessed by the devil again, aggressively gnawing on her dildo as proof of that.
This will only work if you commit 100% otherwise just kys it's not worth it
He didn't want to taste the dildo rather than the pussy juices. Why would he wash it? That's the whole fucking point of licking it. Seriously, what is wrong with you? Disgusting.
you would come across as more intelligent if you fell on the keyboard twice and sent me whatever was typed
who the fuck would leave you in charge of a cat? I wouldn't leave you in charge of a stick of butter
fucking hell this has to be a troll
>cum on the tip of the dildo
>spread cum evenly across the surface
>freeze for as long as you can
>hide it back where you found it
>when used, your neighbor's pussy will produce enough heat to melt the cum
>mfw 9 months later she'll have a kid with your face
>call it Jesus