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>Get asked by neighbour feed their cats for a couple of days

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 99
Thread images: 11

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>Get asked by neighbour feed their cats for a couple of days
>ok no problem
>in their house
>be me, huge pervert
>decide to sniff neighbour's mom's panties
>sneak into room, going through drawers
>find large dildo, jackpot
>start to lick the dildo like it was a crack lollipop
>go home and fap furiously
>MFW when I think I put the dildo in the wrong drawer
>MFW I forgot which drawer it was in
>MFW they get back in a few hours
>>
What do I do /b/?
>>
I hope you get caught on the camera you sick fuck
>>
They wont notice and if so they probably wont mention it because it was awkward in the first place.
>>
nigga you're cool I doubt they'll confront you. It's too personal. What are they gonna say "hey did you go through our drawers and see my wife's dildo?"
>>
Go and tell her how she smells.
>>
>>726963446
Kill your neighbours before they get home
>>
>>726963590
she's recently divorced
>>
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>>726963358
Do like Hillary and blame it on the Russians
>>
Fuck yourself with said dildo when they return. Make sure they see you.
>>
Kill cat, put dildo in it, place it in any drawer.
Claim you haven't seen the cat since yesterday.
The only way, anon.
>>
>>726963358
That's what you get for being a dildo.
>>
>>726963358
Call her and ask her which drawer it goes back in.
>>
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>>726964294
HOLY FUCK. THIS
>>
>>726963358
blame the cat
>>
>>726963537
This
>>
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>>726964444
QUADS DEMAND IT
>>
>>726963537
me too
>>
>>726964444
Check'd
>>
>>726964294
>what could go wrong

rollin
>>
>>726965040
shit guess i didn't need to roll
>>
Probably the husbands dildo
>>
>>726965212
she got divorced fairly recently, her husband cheated on her
>>
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It's not a big deal when they find out. If you're lucky, it will be just her that finds out and she won't tell whoever lives with her.

However, you should apologize, just make sure to do it discreetly and directly to her.

Would be hilarious if you find out it's actually the guy living with her that owns and uses the dildo
>>
>>726965376
so you gonna deliver?
>>726964444
>>726964294
>>
how did it taste? could u tell it was in her ?
>>
>>726965553
shit, quads and trips...
I can't though, she's a family friend
>>
>>726965956
sort of a faint hammy flavour.
>>
>>726965454
>However, you should apologize, just make sure to do it discreetly and directly to her
This some autistic sounding shit.
>I-I-I'm s-sorry b-b-b-ut I l-licked your d-d-dildo"
>>
>>726965985
faggot OP is massive faggot abandon thread

>sage
>>
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>niggest puts dildo in his mouth

miss me with that gay shitt nigguh fuck out of here fuck boy
>>
>>726966140
so it did kind of taste like it had been in her pussy/? was there any glaze on it? what did it look like and how big was it compared to u?
>>
>>726966148
kek

dont apologize. pretend it never happened and hope for best
>>
>>726963358
> personally i would have gone with the cat pussy.
just goes to show how much of a fag you are anon, licking dildos like a fag and not taking some prime puss puss.
>>
>>726966327
I don't really know how pussy is meant to smell.
It was much bigger than me, sort of intimitating
>>
>>726966526
intimitating or intimidating you illiterate pleb?
>>
>>726966498
>this tbqhfam
>>
>>726966148
You read it autistically, probably because your autistic brain told you to do so.

I merely ment "I apologize for rummaging through your personal belongings". If she knows you did it, then she is due an apology. She may even be happy that you took interest in her dildo.
>>
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Here is the picture I took, for those saying it's not real
>>
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>>726967285
>don't mind me
>just the nsa passing by.
>I promise i wont store your dick pics on my hard drive. no homo.
>>
>>726967285

We need pics of the mom.
>>
She's home now, pray for me /b/
>>
>>726965985
do it faggot.
>>
>>726968227
>>726968246
>>726968246
DO IT!
>>
>>726968301
>>726968246
She might just not notice it's in the wrong drawer
>>
>>726963358
they probably won't notice, and if they do, they'll just assume they did it
>>
>>726968442
do it anyways fag
quads and trips demand it.
>>
>>726967285
>high speed dildo moving very fast
>>
>>726969341
It was fast, I rubbed it on my dick
>>
>>726969341
top fucking kek!
>>
>>726969341
I'll get a better picture for you next time I steal someone's mom's dildo
>>
my sincere advice OP?

say you couldn't find the cat, panicked and started looking through all the drawers. Laugh a but to ease the tension. You then saw the dildo and was possessed by the devil. If she doesn't believe you pretend to be possessed by the devil again, aggressively gnawing on her dildo as proof of that.

This will only work if you commit 100% otherwise just kys it's not worth it
>>
>>726966914
>She may even be happy that you took interest in her dildo.
What the actual fuck
>>
>>726970295
that is my biggest fantasy
>>726970287
thankyou anon for some real advice finally
>>
kill your neighbours then kill yourself, very simple.
>>
>>726963358
No sweat. She won't think anything of it except that she forgot which drawer she put it in.
>>
>>726968227
AMEN /B/ROTHER
>>
>>726963358
Nigga you gay.
>>
>>726970929
I'm not gay I just like milfs
>>
>>726968227
Hopefully she'll just think: must have been tired and misplaced it.
>>
>>726963358
Nigga you gay by putting that in your mouth. Also rub some spice on it.
>>
>>726971028
Please god this
ongaringo
>>
>>726963358
Nigga you gay by putting that in your mouth. Also rub some spice on as a suprise.
>>
>>726971079
stop saying that word it's racist
>>
>>726971079
This would be hilarious. If you just like rubbed pure capsaicin oil all over it and put it back exactly where it was.
>>
>>726971195
Sorry
>>

▲ ▲
>>
>>726971277
black people don't go on this website
>>
>>726971136
ongaringo to you to.
>>
This is gold.
>>
>>726971365
You get it. Also I'm not the most disgusting person on this thread. I'm in company of a guy who put a woman's dildo in his mouth.
>>
also op why the fuck would you put someone elses dildo in your mouth ffs at least wash it first

enjoy your infections
>>
>>726971195
gay
>>
>>726963663

get in there anon. fill her up
>>
>>726971567
what would be the point in that?
>>
>>726971567
He didn't want to taste the dildo rather than the pussy juices. Why would he wash it? That's the whole fucking point of licking it. Seriously, what is wrong with you? Disgusting.
>>
OP give us some sort of timestamp or something so we know this is real, I want to know this is real
>>
>>726971938
He can't. She's already home. Although...
>>
>>726971867
this guy gets it
>>
>>726971938
how should I do this?
>>
>>726971867
how much of a fucking virgin do you have to be to do this shit
>>
What is the point of tasting pussy if you're not about to fuck /get some head in return?
>>
>>726972323
>>726967285
Those are your pictures right, lets see a time stamp on your hand with phone that has pics in one large picture
>>
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>>726972512
welcome to 4chan
>>
>>726972793
what do I take the photo with?
>>
>>726972768
Oh god I wish
I am obsessed with this woman
>>
>>726972957

a fucking camera you absolutely retarded sailor's shit
>>
>>726973249
I've only got the one in the phone
>>
>>726972957
Burden of proof is on you m8 not me
>>
>>726973376
Take pic of the cat with you throwing gang signs.
>>
>>726973376
you would come across as more intelligent if you fell on the keyboard twice and sent me whatever was typed

who the fuck would leave you in charge of a cat? I wouldn't leave you in charge of a stick of butter

fucking hell this has to be a troll
>>
>>726973558
i put the picture up what more do you need?
>>
>>726974300
>time stamp
>>
>>726974300
>Update
THE FUCKING STAMP!
>>
>>726974300
>What more do you need?
this is /b/, there is always more that we need
>>
>>726974998
>moar
>>
>>726963537
This one
>>
>>726974024
>fucking hell this has to be a troll
just one of the few on this site
>>
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>>726963358
>cum on the tip of the dildo
>spread cum evenly across the surface
>freeze for as long as you can
>hide it back where you found it
>when used, your neighbor's pussy will produce enough heat to melt the cum
>mfw 9 months later she'll have a kid with your face
>call it Jesus
Thread posts: 99
Thread images: 11





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